we nerf each other's superpowers I can read minds

>>736709982
But what you hear is languages you can't understand.
I can see through walls

>>736710130
only walls that are behind you

i can travel through time

>>736710130
Unless the wall has paint on it

I can fly

>>736710268
but only forward at regular speed

Any woman I wink at instantly falls in love with me

>>736710268
But at normal speed, and only forward...

I can run faster than a jet

>>736710268
But at the same rate as everyone else in the third dimension which is one second per second

>>736710334
but she gets a heart attack and dies

I can move at the speed of sound

>>736709982

I can block the 6th billet that hits me

>>736710334
but you we're born without eyelids
i shit bars of gold

>>736710283
Only feet forward and it's as exhausting as running

>>736710334
But only for as long as you keep the one eye closed and the other open

>>736710409
.. perceived by people which cannot hear.

I can breath underwater

>>736710409
by vigorously shitting

>>736710409
You make a fart noise where ever you go, loud enough to cause hearing damage

>>736710334
you're a homosexual male

i allways have a raging erection

>>736710380
But you think slow and would die from anyhing you crash at that speed

I can shart on command

>>736710283
you cant control in what direction

>>736710334
but only traps.if you like traps,its trans men with vaginas only instead

>>736710380
...a jet thats standing still

>>736710442
the bars are so big it fucks up your intestines and you die soon after

>>736710380
>>736710409
But your body is still subject to the extremes of moving at those speeds so your body is stripped layer after layer

>>736710488
You can't breathe outside of water

>>736710488
But not overwater

>>736710488
For only 30 seconds

I can change shape into anything I desire

>>736710442
Big as a grain of sand... I can read people mind

I have the power to turn water into wine and beer and spirits

>>736710619
You can't change back

>>736710442
Only when you've eating bars of gold

>>736709982
I can slow down time

>>736710619
you only desire massive black cocks

>>736710647
but there are allways cigarette butts and ash in the product

>>736710515
But only at kindergardens

>>736710619
But the only thing you ever desire is a big vein covered cock
I am the smartest person alive

>>736710647
When you drink them, you turn them into piss

>>736710619
You change to everything you desire. So if you desire food youll become that food and stay brainless

>>736710686
but can't speed it back


I can shit gold

>>736710686
But you can't make it go at normal speed ever again.

I can climb skyscrapers

>>736710794
but only if you eat shit

>>736710794
But only in 100lb chunks

>>736710760
but the size of the brain cracks your skull and you die


I can eat pineapple pizza without being disgusted

>>736710760
But you are so autistic that you cant use that intellect to benefit anyone
I.e not even able to buy products to invent stuff

>>736710515
...But you have a micropenis

I have the ability to communicate with animals.

>>736710760
But live in a constant coma.

I can spew fire

>>736710873
But only if you suck on a massive cock beforehand

>>736710619
But you don't desire anything.

I can heal wounds instantly including mine.

>>736710824
but you an't get down


I can lift a truck with my tongue

>>736710873
you have profound levels of autism

>>736710890
the animals do nothing but roast you

>>736710890
You can only communicate with transgender hermit crabs

>>736710912
Only if you inflict them yourself.

I can teleport

>>736710919
Only toy trucks

I can create anything I want, I'm a god

>>736710919
but the rest of your body is too weak

>>736710985
only if you don't wnat to go anywhere

>>736710894
but the fire burns your mouth


I can read minds

>>736710985
Only into port-a-potties that are in use

>>736710996
you don't exist because you're god

>>736710996
But you don't want anything

>>736710794
But only liquid molten gold

I can control any electronic device with my mind.

>>736710996
but only after you die


I can change my size at any given moment

Everyone becomes atheists and you thus cease to exist.

I can reunite the 3rd reich

I can fuck any kid without getting caught

>>736711028
But only rodent minds.

I can shoot lightning bolts

>>736711092
you have to be asleep to control so only your dreaming subconscious can do it

>>736711028
Only of brain dead people.

I can control peoples minds

>>736711028
but you can only read them in a language you could never learn

I want to be generally more lucky

>>736711111
Checked.
>you have to wait 48 hours to switch between any size

These threads always suck
Its always "hur you has super speed but now have no legs ha" "you can teleport but only while sleeping haha exdee"

Its should go "read minds but the person can also read yours as you use your telepathy" or "cause anyone to fall in love with you but they become too obsesive to the poimt of psychopathy"

>>736711111
Check'd

You can only change the size of your knees. You now have a big knees fetish.

>>736711125
you seem like cute child to a powerful alien pedophile

These are all shit nerfs desu
They either have nothing to do with the power or make it worthless

>>736711154
From your anus

I have the power to have all powers

>>736711125
but you have narcolepsy and fall asleep everytime you touch a kid.

I can make penises feminine

>>736711222
that includes the power to never have any powers, self burn

i have the power to not have liver damage

>>736711111
but once you do so you can't return to your original size meaning that you can grow infinitely or shrink infinitely

>>736711267
You're are just a degenerate who likes traps.

File: 71f.jpg (120KB, 500x433px)

120KB, 500x433px

>>736711111
Witnessed

I get dubs every time I reply

>>736711028
but minds have no text

>>736711285
but you have no liver

i have the power to not get dubs

>>736711285
As long as you don't drink alcohol

I can make myself invisible and visible again at will.

>>736709982
>I can read minds
Only the minds of insects who have a personal grudge against you.

>>736711344
the thread allways 404s when before you post dubs.

>>736711356
You can only turn invisible while nobody is looking at you

>>736710985
But it takes just as long as walking there and leaves you just as exhausted.

I can control any human mind

>>736711356
you can only do in wavelengths that humans can't see so it's useless

>>736711344
check'd

>>736711356
only when no one else is around

I can live without food or sleep

>>736711285
but you have cancer every where else

I have the power of astral projection

>>736711344
If I post I won't get dubs.

>>736710647
but the wine is lambrini and the spirits are pugilists

My power is Autism.

>>736710644
>Big as a grain of sand
With a good supply of mexican food and a few years of careful poop sifting you'd still have quite a lot of gold.

i have everyone in this threads super powers and now you don't have them anymore I took them from you and I also have the power that you can't nerf my super powers

>>736709982
...But those minds never think anything worth sharing

I can wiggle my ears!

>>736711200
>why arent you playing exactly how i want
>im a whiny faggot who tries to control everything because i cant control the course my life is going towards.
FTFY

>>736711414
but you will always feel an unsatisfied hunger and thirst

i have 99 in all skills on runescape

>>736711556
Cheater, MODS!!!!!

>>736711414
You shrink every day you don't do either of those things. It can't be reverted.

I can create a pocket dimension to walk in and out of with a nice, comfy house for me.

>>736711583
>superpower
>but now you can use it
Its bullshit

>>736711556
But the superpowers you took were the nerfed ones

My penis can now be an average size.

>>736711600
You are Emilyispro without the money

>>736711600
But you cant remember your login and password

>>736711644
yep and now everyone has the regular super powers I am such a nice person also now you all worship me and I am your god.

>>736711671
Average flaccid size, but it doesnt grow bigger when erect

>>736711111
but if you shrink everything else will grow and vice versa

>>736711619
but it's surrounded by blacks and sand niggers

i can recite shrek word for word

>>736711671
average size of a snail penis

>>736711516
But you still have your currebt life and you cant kill yourself

>>736711762
can't nerf that power, already useless

sorry >>736710996 but >>736711111 is the real god here

My power is communism.

>>736711762
but that's all you can say

>>736711762
only with your ass when farting

>>736711773
>>736711738
Bigger than current so not a nerf

>>736711804
Yup, got rekt there

>>736711809
but you fail to work, everytime.

>>736711809
but everyone already owns the means of production

>>736711860
That's not a nerf, that's just reality

>>736711111
But not in relation to everything else. Everything grows with you.

I have the power to make people white

I can guess my post check em
>736711978

I can change into any animal I want.

>>736711999
>Emilyispro
but what ever animal you are is legal to hunt

File: NPdOBKK.jpg (165KB, 1024x947px)

165KB, 1024x947px

>>736711963
Enjoy

>>736711963
But you absorb their skin pigment and awful culture until you're the last awful person left

I suck a mean dick

>>736711963
but they can only have black kids

>>736711999
Checkt
also you get that animals mind and might forget you ever had powers

I can change the weather to fit my exact desires, no matter how vague or specific they may be

File: woofe.png (273KB, 321x541px)

273KB, 321x541px

>>736710582

>>736712202
But its an actual mean dude named Dick and he's mad you sucked him

>>736712271
but your immune system is so weak you have to live in a bubble and can't leave

>>736712202
But you also have op's autism, not only his skills

>>736709982
I can teleport-steal organs off people's bodies.
For example i can steal a tit and use it as a ball, or steal and sell a kidney.

>>736712480

But yet you can't read a simple topic.

Also, you are a faggot

soo... game broke? understandable have a good day

>>736712480
You can only take cancer cells

I can rewatch episodes of the Simpsons in my head over and over.

>>736713229
You never want to

>>736713403
That's not a nerf, it just makes the power pointless.

>>736713229
But only at quarter speed

I have the power to nerf powers

>>736713678
But only powers involving Nerf.

I have the power to lick anyone without repercussion.

>>736713678
That's a buff, they wont get stale so fast.

>>736713810
You must lick everyone you meet

>>736713810
Everything tastes fucking horrible

I have the power to shit anywhere in India without being questioned by anyone

>>736713927
But you're a pajeet

Probability Manipulation

I can master almost any video game to professional competition level within 2 weeks
inb4 korean

>>736714112
You get banned immediately for being too good.

I can break rocks with my fists.

>>736714045
your accuracy decreases with every use

>>736714181
only metamorphic rock types. Your fist will shatter if you hit sedimentary or igneous.

>>736714181
Your penis shrinks with every use.

I have the power not to give a single shit about anything.

>>736714181
You can only eat things as soft as noodles, or your teeth will break.

I can talk to fish.

>>736714319
every time you don't give a shit you run a 1% chance of getting an impacted bowel

>>736714332
They can't hear you while underwater

>>736714332
fish still have the memory of fish they immediately forget whatever you tell them.

>>736714332
Fish can only say "nigger"

I can hover 3 feet off the ground.

>>736714454
only at altitudes that's feet above sea level is divisible by 4

>>736714454
Only in rooms with a 7 foot ceiling or lower.

I can use anything I'm holding as a perfectly lethal weapon with an expert skill level

>>736714522
owned.
i cannot be caught when commiting a crime

>>736714454
But only long enough to make it look like you're jumping


I have a photographic memory

>>736714749
You instantly forget anything you hear

>>736714749
Your brain automatically photoshops everyone's heads into dicks.

>>736710268
Easy, use a mirror.

>>736714745
Everyone always suspects you of committing crimes even when you haven't done anything wrong

Also you're black

>>736710758
Well played

>>736710432
doing it wrong

>>736714720
Everything you touch turns into the consistency of Nerf foam.

>>736714894
hmm, then i cant go to the south xDD

>>736715024
he'd just kill people by touching them
bunch of nerf foam mummies left in his wake

>>736715024
>but it's still a perfectly lethal weapon.
Cool, now I have two powers!

I can crash this plane with no survivors

>>736715289
because you're the only one in it

>>736715289
You're in a hang-glider by yourself

I have a monkey.

>>736715289
you're a small guy

>>736715401
The monkey hates you and will never stop trying to attack you.
Also, it flings its feces only at you.


I can shoot bullets from my fingertips.

>>736715714
You constantly pick your nose while daydreaming.

>>736715714
you can't aim for shit

I can make any woman horny just by looking at her

>>736715957
Only if she's above the age of 200

>>736715957
You're a eunuch.

I have the power to refill anything.

>>736716030
But you can only refill it with liquid shit

>>736716030
With Marmite.

I can shit gold nuggets without hurting my ass

>>736716073
>>736716110
That's the same thing.

>>736716182
Regular shit burns like a thousand suns in your anus.

>>736716182
But you can't sell it because people know by smell it's shit gold nuggets

Anything I eat is healthy

>>736716182
because you're a gay fetish insertion porn actor and they've been shoving huge gold nuggets up your ass for years

I can write entire novels in 10 minutes

>>736716374
But you're unaware of grammar mistakes in your own work

>>736716337
You're anemic and bulimic

>>736716337
But everything you eat tastes like my gold nugget shit

>>736716374
They're only in dead languages

I can perfectly imitate the voice of anyone.

>>736716606
But everytime you do it you cum

>>736716337
drinking anything kills you painfully

I can draw any currency convincingly enough that no one can tell it's fake

>>736711028
They are think you are a faggot

>>736716904
But you're restricted to only buying cat food and astroglide with it.

>>736716606
You physically become the grandmother of any person you imitate

My penis becomes the exact size to fully pleasure any woman I have sex with

>>736717078
But everytime you have sex you cum blood

I can see under clothes

>>736717078
You spend all your time on /b/ and live in your mother's basement.

>>736717191
>superpowers
that's just ordinary you faggot.
>>736717166

>>736717166
But not when they're worn

I can commit any crime and I will never be caught by law enforcement

>>736717770
You always give yourself up before they have to solve it.

From now on i will get hextuples everytime here on 4chan

>>736710996
But there are infinitely many gods more powerful and cooler than you

I can control wind

>>736709982
of niggers

>>736710758
pretty sure that doesn't change his real life condition much tho.

>>736717770
But you are not a nigger and therefore you don't need to commit any crime

I am white

>>736717166
But you are blind

I can teleport my dick

>>736715957
You get diarrhea whenever a woman looks at you

I can fuck myself

>>736718764
You just look white. In reality, you're a light skinned Mexican.

I can create world peace.

>>736709982
You can only read women's minds (nothing really useful there)

>>736718993

However women know when you can do it


I do not need to eat food or drink to survive

>>736719058
But you die if you don't shit or piss regularly

I can erase people's memory

>>736719202
but they hate you without knowing why afterwards

I can make every quran burn with just one thought

>>736719561
You are a quran

>>736719625
worst nerf ever.

>>736719561
The world starts to decay from the excess amount of CO2 entering the atmosphere

I have a detachable penis.

>>736719687
but its to tiny to please any woman.

i can make women cum with just looking at them

>>736719815

only applies to 8 year old girls


I can summon hentai girls from my computer

>>736710380
only because jets can't run

i piss petroleum

>>736719901
They will never love or want you and you can never touch them

I can eat the middle cream of oreos without twisting them open.

>>736720071
But you have an allergy

i am Rob Stark from game of thrones, knowing everything that is going to happen, preventing the red wedding etc.

>>736720071
You're diabetic.

I can make "save points" in reality, and if something goes wrong I just "restore" a save point and try again.

For every injurie i recieve against an opponent i can apply it to an opponent multiplied by the number of injuries i recieved, if i die all the injuries are applied to everyone in a onehundred kilometer radius

>>736720071
but only if the oreos have ketchup and mustard on them with salt

I can freeze time how much i want

>>736720222
but only after ten seconds you pulled your dick out of your pants

>>736720333
wew both of us got trips
well of course i am gonna put my dick out and rape every girl i have infinite time

>>736711285
so long as you uphold the tenets of the book of mormon

I don't have any possible physical or mental disabilities

>>736720200
You can only "save" while receiving anal sex.

I can shit gold.

>>736710760
You are the only person alive.

I can eat anything

>>736721039
but only infront of starving people

i can read minds

>>736720975
The gold you shit can be used by everybody except you. If you touch the gold it turns back to shit. If you have somone deposit it or change it into money for you it turns back to shit. The money you got for it also turns to shit.

>>736721147
but you get a heart attack after reading someone mind

>>736720549
But you have a bunch of impossible disabilities, such as Soul Cancer and Type 7 Diabetes

>>736715957
Any woman who you look at sprouts ivory horns in random places.

I have total control over a flock of massive dragons

>>736721590
The dragons constantly try to have sex with you

I can shoot diarrhea out of my fingertips

File: 1498246001199.gif (114KB, 300x150px)

114KB, 300x150px

>>736721430

>>736721701
You have premature diarrhea ejaculation.

I can create matter out of nothing

But after one minute it turns into shit

I can shrink nigger dicks

>>736722247
you have to suck them in order to shrink them

>>736722247
But you're also a nigger

I'm immune to disease/Illness

>>736722416
but you have mental issues

>>736722247
every cm you shrink adds to your own dick

>>736710484
That's perfect. I can hold it closed as long as it takes to fuck her, then open it and she goes away. Repeat

>>736721977
just black lives... those matter

>>736722416
But your muscles just don't work.

my body creates wi-fi signal and is immune to cancer

>>736721590
but they blue sea dragons (slugs)

>>736709982

but lose your memory every 3 seconds

>>736722667
but your body doesnt create wi fi signals and isnt immune to cancer

>>736720200
but alls saves end up as "corrupted files"

>>736722877
that's just cheap

>>736720163
than you wake up next morning

>>736710619
But only after all eating it

I can master any trade in secondes

>>736720064
sum redneck just beat you to death thinking you where pissing in his tank

>>736723046
but you're a jew

File: 1496260968801.jpg (438KB, 988x1500px)

438KB, 988x1500px

>>736711388
What the feash hell is going on here

Also praise kek

>>736722667
but you forgot the wifi password and you end up with a 1kbs speed

>>736723046
You have no arms or legs.

I am God

>>736723046
But nobody will cooperate with you.

I can become invisible for hours at a time

File: qgDzMrH.jpg (427KB, 2448x3264px)

427KB, 2448x3264px

I can piss mountain dew and shit Doritos.

>>736723331
but you live inside a book and only stupid people believes in you

>>736723331
your jehova

>>736723331
but you don't exist

I can make anyone cum just by willing it

>>736723337
You're only invisible to yourself

I have the ability to breath underwater

>>736722416
But everytime you would have been sick without your powers you suffer a massive stroke

>>736723337
You fart loudly the entire time you're invisible, everyone can hear and smell it and recognise it as yours

>>736723447
But only while you're holding your breath

>>736723421
you can never cum yourself

>>736723421
Chad still gets all the credit

>>736723222
checked

>>736723370
But only Cool Ranch and Code Red

Good thread lads, reminds me of the vbulletin forums I camped out in as a child

My anal cavity is bigger on the inside, I can fit whatever I want up there and it won't hurt my ass

>>736723337

But your limbs become encased in visable concrete for the duration of your invisibility

I can reincarnate as anyone or anything infinite times

>>736723699
But your asshole is smaller and tighter than normal

>>736723707
In order to reincarnate you must die while giving head to an elderly black man

>>736723699

Your shit falls out constantly

All my current abilities as a human are multiplied in their effectiveness by 100

>>736723707
But every time you do this you loose an inch off your dick size

I don't have to abide laws

>>736723699
Your anosphincter is always either completely contracted or completely relaxed, so you might break things inside of your ass if you try to carry them with you

>>736723880
your ability to get old is also increased

>>736723707
But each time you reincarnate you become 30% smaller than the last time you reincarnated.

I can teleport anywhere in time or space in 2 seconds.

>>736723880
100 times zero is still zero

>>736723894
You die within the first two days of your abuses to dirty cops
I can keep any thread on /b/ alive past 300 replies

>>736723948
you just don't know where you'll teleport to

>>736723894
No one else does either

I can make dangerous weapons out of anything from sand to blades of grass

>>736723948
The destination is random and there's no garauntee you won't just end up in the deep expanses of space

>>736724008
You can only keep 9gag YLYL threads alive

I can never fall ill to any illness

>>736724037
They all possess some fault that makes them dangerous for the user to wield

>>736724008
But youre wasting your life.

I can always make OP doubt himself

>>736724150
You're OP

>>736724105
You look like you're constantly ill

>>736724037
>I can make dangerous weapons out of anything from sand to blades of grass
But are only dangerous to bunnies.

I can have sex with another man without it being gay

>>736724105
You are constantly pissing and shiting uncontrollably to cleanse yourself

I can talk to animals