>>736479465 I'm guessing some hackneyed robots pose as late-model sports cars and strike battle poses unsuiting of robots, while low-budget celebrities squabble amusingly with each other, only vaguely giving a shit about the affairs of said robots.
I'm also guessing Megatron gets his come-uppance, but that's just a wild stab in the dark.
>>736479522 it centers around merlins staff. in the opening you see lancelot and some other hundred knights battling and they're losing like shit. they're waiting for merlin to come rescue them with magic. cut to merlin riding on a horse to some alien ship crashed on a grassy mountain, covered in moss. he yells into the open ship that he needs help, and that if the thing in he ship doesnt help, then his planet will find doom just like the things in the ship. out comes a transformer that looks like some old giant knight. he hands merlin a staff of unknowable power and tells him that he has to guard it. he then says to take the dragon, and some huge fucking transformer three headed dragon goes with merlin and fucks up the opposing army. lancelots side wins merlins a hero yay
>>736479996 cut to present day. talks about how transformers are illegal in the USA. there's some quarantine zone full of old transformers or something. little kids sneak in to have fun, they get spooked by the TRF or the TFR or something. basically the transformer police. but there's also robots with some robot AI or something that patrols looking for intruders. the kids are looking around and they find antransformer that looks like the old knight like the one merlin talked to. they think it's dead but it's eyes open and they scream like pussys and run away. AI police things that look like a Halo mantis starts shooting at them. younger 14 year old girl magically appears and runs away with them leading them to her hideout. says her family died from a missile by a deceptacon. her hideout is hidden by a transformer called hideaway or something like that
>>736480339 TRF fire a missile at the hideaway transformer and blow it the fuck up. they go to extract the kids, but out comes Cade to save the day. he tells the kids to run and they fuck off. the TRF comes and tells Cade that he's under arrest but bumble bee comes and kills a majority of them and they let him go. also before the TRF came for Cade, he walked up to the old knight transformer the kids found. Old knight dude says he's a true knight and gives him this old medallion.
>>736479465 Let me guess. Marc Wahlberg looks confused for 90% of the movie, camera angles that make you sick watching them show confusing and badly filmed "Action" scenes, piss-poor cg effects, explosions for no reason, Optimus says things that seem important and deep (But they aren't), and Main Characters die but don't.
>>736480826 >>736480585 ok so Cade and bumble bee zoom out and go to their secret junk yard hideout, except what they don't know is the TRF had shot a tracker onto bumble bee. also to their unknowledge is that the stupid fucking 14 year old whore climbed under the car and traveled with them secretly with her little blue pet robot. at the junk yard there's a couple robots. a huge t. rex, bumble bee, this stereotypical another accent military general mini gun holding transformer, a baby trex, this fat one who holds a bunch of stuff on his back like he's the mask traveler from majoras mask. they all hide out there and just chill
>>736481311 little shithead girl (names jazmine, she specifically emphasized the Z) makes her presence known and they let her stay after arguing. then the TRF shows up following the tracker so they all get the fuck out of there and run into some random small town nearby. BUT: pause for a second, we gotta talk about megatron. all around the world, six huge ass spikes appeared and are growing up to the sky. they noticed that Megatron was spotted visiting them all. i forgot his but the TRF / military figured out about the staff and want megatron to lead them to it. so they make a deal with him and in return they release 3 of megatrons buddies from their transformer prison and they go after Cade and his gang. Also, NASA noted a huge thing hurtling toward earth. spoiler: it's cybertron, and it's dead and it's come for the staff. ALSO, optimus prime is floating in space towards cybertron.
>>736481961 Anyway back to Cade at the old town. the TRF comes except they're pussys and send in drones after them. Cade and Jasmine jack off with the drones and as they're doing that this C3PO british looking robot appears to cade and says that he's the true knight and that he has to come with him. sounds good. but then megatron and his fuckboy squad appear and start fucking shit up but bumble bee and his junk yard squad hold them off
>>736482338 C3PO and Cade fly to england to meet C3POs master. he's some old dude who's studied merlins past and shit. we also meet some girl professor who's father was actually a descendant of merlin. Old guys (we will call him Oldie and the chick Titty Girl) autobot kidnaps her and brings her to Oldies house with Cade. He tells her that she's a descendant of Merlin and that only she can use merlins staff of unknowable power that cybertron is after. but now they need to find out the staffs location. Fun fact: the spikes that were grown out the ground i mentioned earlier are in random locations. BUT, if you arrange the earth to look like pangea the the spikes all form a center with stonehenge in the middle.
>>736482973 but that doesn't tell them where the staff is. through some puzzles n shit they get lead to some submarine museum. they get in the museum and turns out it's a transformer too. whoopie! it leads them underwater, but the RFT follows them in their own little mini subs
>>736479465 Here's some spoliers >theres robits >they punches >and they shoots >sometimes the robots be cars >or others be planes >also this one has a hot girl(bout time these crap films gave one those)
>>736483101 Submarine transformer brings the crew to an underwater huge ass spaceship and they find merlins tomb. Titty Girl grabs the staff and then a bunch of old knights wake up and start fighting them. But the the TFR starts shooting and tell Titty Girl to give them the staff or they shoot. all the knights go "YO THAT NIGGA WANTS TO HURT THE STAFF" so they all start fighting the TRF instead. but then Optimus Prime shows up, and he's different.
>>736483621 While Optimus Prime was floating through space, he landed on cybertron and saw that it was all destroyed and dead looking. he walks in and sees some overloaded woman who says she's their maker. she bitch slaps optimus primes face and turns his cheek red and now he's brainwashed to get the stuff at all costs dun dun dunnnn
>>736484059 so optimus prime steals the staff staff from Titty Girl and i don't remember how but the underwater ship activates and starts flying up. Executive fight scene between Optimus Prime, all the knights, and Megatron (he shows up when the ship surfaces in air). megatron steals the staff and flys off to Cybertron, which has now entered earth's atmosphere and is slowly crashing. optimus prime regains control and is no longer brainwashed. the knights all start hitting optimus prime. just as they're about to kill him, Cades medallion that he got from the one knight in the beginning turns into a sword and the other knights are like "o fuck he's the true knight let's follow him and not kill optimus prime"
>>736484642 Godlike lady gets the staff starts draining the earth's power or some shit to rebuild Cybertron. basically it's a 1 hour fight scene between all the transformers and humans, Oldie dies, C3PO gets sad, lots of explosions bc michael bay. eventually Titty Girl grabs the staff and her and Cade save the day. Cybertron no longer is draining earth, peace comes to both the species. They say they need to work together to fix both their worlds. then as the credits roll we see a girl walking through the sahara desert dressed in purple robes, it's heavily implied she's the godlike lady, so i'm assuming there's going to be ANOTHER movie.
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