Hey 4chan, FBI cybercrime division agent here, AMA

How do I join?

Do you get to masturbate on the job?

>>736463556
What does penis taste like?

Do you really *need* lube for anal , or does it just make things more comfortable?

File: image.jpg (111KB, 708x744px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 708x744px

>>736463556
Jacket with time stamp?

>>736463556
Anyone here under investigation?

>>736463556
Am I being detained?

>>736464660
https://www.fbijobs.gov/working-at-FBI/how-to-apply

>>736465081
Just download the shit you guys post here on 4chan to a pendrive and take it to my house

>>736465382
The cybersecurity department you cunt.

>>736463556
why does milk come in a bag in Canada

>>736465163
It depends, penis can taste like fish or parfume and it just make things more comfortable

Do they make you shill for Israel?

*removes all my cp*

How serious is piracy? And how serious is finding "pizza" on tor?

>>736465276
Some ip's in database, you better burn your hard drive

>>736463556
When is Agent Cooper going to snap out of his fugue state and have you ever been to the Black Lodge?

>>736463556
Why is CP still an issue. You have the technology, resources, and the time. Why aren't they all wiped out and euthanized already?

Just search for your name https://www.fbi.gov/investigate/cyber/most-wanted

>>736466006
One of those dudes is named Wang Dong

>>736463556
how many russians ITT ?

>>736465313
Not yet

>>736465931
This

>>736465562
Because its cheaper

Who dispatched the wannacry virus?

>>736466474
why did you guys kill moot...

>>736465746
Not too serious for the fbi and it depends what kind of pizza

>>736465931
This. My cousin is retired FBI and I have asked. He dealt with white collar drugs, but when he has conversed with other agents in the field. He said most pizza comes from overseas and the stuff made here is dated. Most of the victims are already adults. It's pretty rare. Although Skype has changed shit.

They have agents who watch it all day. I wonder how they sleep. It would fuck me up. When I see it here, and I'm pretty desensitized to shit, it depresses me.

>>736466711
They probably end up like the German FBI in Unteralterbach.

>>736466237
Identifying features, "12 inches of Asian cock".

>>736465931
Its still an issue because having cp in your possesion means you either are member of a international criminal organization or supporting it because in general cp are sold trough some deep web websites that are relationated with a network of illicit markets however fbi dont pay extreme attention to cp and have another priorities we just catch some people when we want people to think that we are fully operational in the internet and keep them distracted from another important things

>>736466623
We helped

>>736466643
Christopher poole killed him

>>736463556
what state am i currently located in?

>>736468459
Post some cp and i tell you

>>736468622
can you even tell if im currently on earth?

>>736469488
No i cant but i assume there is no internet connection outside earth

>>736470391
>russian space station
>we aren't copying your countries thoughts to our servers from a satellite that scans your country all day

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1MB, 256x192px

>>736465911

>>736470765
We are aware of your satellite dont worry

Why do you only shave your left goose egg?

>>736463556
Nerd with guns.

How did you come to be making an AMA on /b/? Tell me that story.

Is it safe to use TOR at home and allow the ISP to potentially see that I am using TOR?

What "really matters" if, as you say, catching CP makers is small-time distraction?

Recommend me some books, anything you feel would most help me in my life, to enlighten me, or to redpill me.

Any favorite fiction? Movies can be included.

>>736472228

answer one at a time so that thread doesn't die.

The fbi runs the cp racket now. Gave out between 23000 to 1 million pictures. To catch 1% of the true bad guys

>>736463556
why isn't this site moderated better
>or at the very least forced to make the filters a single text entry box with the filters merely separated by commas so that you could copy and text them into a word document to be saved for every visit to save the time it would take to re enter all of them one at a time?

>>736472867
Well thats true but fbi dont runs the cp racket

>>736472867
You are talking about playpen?

>>736473799
>>736473799
Probably

>>736472228
Tor it's vulnerable, you are not safe from being perfectly tracked using it, just dont use tor for strange things

>>736474133

why the hell else would I use it, tho?

Guess I got to watch what I imply and say to people on onion forums?

>>736472228
Filosofy would be a nice start, its underrated right now but it could enlight your way of thinking just dont let it consume you

>>736463556
what's the weirdest thing you've had happen job wise?

>>736471711
[CENSORED BY 4CHAN YOU MUST HAVE A 4CHAN GOLD ACCOUNT TO VIEW]

>used to talk daily with a huezilian school-shooter about killing people
>never got interviewed
Am I being watched or something?

>>736463556
I just got here and cant be bothered reading the thread, what kind of cybercrime are you asking us to commit for you?

>>736463556
Being an Indian I must ask.
Any Indians included in that list? If so, how many?

>>736476218
The casino kind or the gas station/hotel kind?

>>736463556
Do you guys really respond to tips or only when they're big crimes?

>>736476381
The one 4chan calls as "pajeets" or "poo in the loo"

Is the 4chan pass a racket, I think you should investigate it. I think Hiroshima is pulling off a
racket

>>736476693
[CENSORED BY 4CHAN YOU MUST HAVE A 4CHAN GOLD ACCOUNT TO VIEW]