/nzg/ - The New Zealand General

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>>736289463
Tala Morgana 2 year anniversary edition

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Dunners reporting, I guess.

Haven't thought about my issues in a few days which is good, right?
What's happening with my 4ch dudes tonight, get in here.

So bored of these threads. Post your dicks, just so we have something to talk about.

>>736289528
literally no one cares kek.

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it is monday my dudes

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What the Bitches be like, when they see my dick.
>>736290306

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>>736289528
and she hasn't been posted a single nude since that day because of autistic fidget spinning cucks like you

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>>736290468

>>736290528
lol is that quercy kek

>>736290575
No that's a fidget spinner, but I see how you could get them confused.

Sup boiz

>>736290342
(You)

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Wow. 6 posters. I feel blessed to be one sixth of the shit posts here.

This thread officially a shit.

>>736291215
these threads have always been cucked

Fucken court in the morning. Wish me luck.

>>736291316
prepare your anus faggot. it's about to get breached.

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From New Zealand, just got promoted. Think I'm starting to get better at the whole life thing.

Inb4 fuck it up

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>>736291316
Protip: wear your big boy pants, and say sorry.

>>736290201
Shits dying mate. Rip f.

Dunedin reporting.

Not actually in the city at the moment but visiting my parents. Fucking great

>>736291316
What'd you do, cunt?
>>736291481
You'll be right, mate.
>>736291490
F

>>736291524
Should i even bother joining tinychat tonight?

>>736291359
>>736291486
>>736291524

Nothing major this time, just drink driving. Was chasing some cunt who was fucking with my car...then cops.

>>736291666
Checked

>>736291628
>Tinychat

literally kys asap

>>736291666
Out run em cunt, I ran from the cops in a 1991 nissan sentra and lol rekt them. Or was your car even more shit level?

>>736289528
like fucking clock work

anyone know what tauranga's like? live in auckland but got a job offer there. wondering if worth

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>>736290201
gday mate, still got that beer waiting for me

>>736291737
Did when I was younger. But smallish town and this car is memorable.
No biggie I need the exercise.

>>736292016
if you dont mind chinks, faggots and niggers you'll love it there

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>>736291628
Literally just me in there, so probably not
>>736291666
Devil trips, checked. How drunk were you?>>736292034
Absolutely, mon brauve. The frostiest Speights awaits you.

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>>736292167
flying in early july

>>736292200
Checked. That's soonish, what are you inbound for?

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>>736292395
life my nigga

sup fags - remuera reporting in. off to sydney on weds, hopefully some decent weather for a change. going to SoO while im there too, thanks, work!

>>736292076
Oh my car is distinctive. I just don't give a fuck anymore.

I've been held at gunpoint and took the guy out with a shoulder charge and got the gun off him. They tried to charge me at the end of it all. The fuckin rage it induces, one day I might just go full retard "into the blue"

>>736292502
out of the blue sorry. David Gray on point

>>736292423
I guess that'll do it, how long are you doing life for here?

Daily reminder to:
>Hide all tank posts
>Ignore all tanks posts
>Do not reply to tank posters

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>>736292659
indefinitely, no plan on leaving once i'm there

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>>736292715

>cotton boxers and learning guitar quickly
Fuck, I am gonna get so much pussy. Now I just need to resolve my erectile dysfunction and I am fucking set.

>>736292859
Stop wanking.

>>736292502
Yeah kinda know that feel.
Wailed some cunt with a metal pipe once, a bit dog act, but I just couldn't stop once you see that red.
Went to prison for a few weeks for "assulting" another bloke.
Just stupid shit.

>>736292859
Uke.. keep it in your cotton boxers, mate.

oh wait ;)

>>736292727
Fuck, we're gonna need more beer

>>736292894
make me

>>736293057
Don't make me come over there and cut your willy off with my stanley knife. I just put a new blade in it.

>>736293139
Already had some of it cut off. I have a couple of inches to spare too.

Where the fuck do you buy waxing strips in this country

>>736293826
Any pharmacy, you dongus.

Got chased down the street by P heads today, fuck Auckland

>>736294028
Fuck I was just in one

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Auckland jafa reporting in.

Any AUT homies? glad exams are over.

Or any homies for Otago correctional facility
>class of 2014 2015??

>>736294156
From*
Just had half a bottle of Canadian club and a pot brownie and some fish and chips. feeling fucked

>>736294156
>Otago correction facility
The Milton Hilton, eh? You plush motherfucker

>>736294408
Comfy lag.

u mad?

>>736294071
Humor us with your tale?

i want to fuuck a small octopus.

>>736295568
Big octopuses need loving too, shitlord

Any good NZ slut snap names?

>>736295114
Well what happened was I was walking down the street nd saw these P heads and decided to throw my Charlies Lemonade drink at them, unfortunately, they were masturbating and one of them had a friction burn so lemon + burn = oh fuck. anyway, he was disgruntled and said with a passive yet angered tone " ME PEPE IS BURN GIVE ME COIN ARGH!" I tried to diffuse the situation by throwing coins rapidly out of my flimsy wallet, I run and end up throwing the wallet like a shuriken and next thing you know they get a hold of my ID. I run home and forgot they know who I am, I found them on my doorstep and now I am in the Mcdonalds in Greylyn awaiting them with my trusty baseball bat I have cleverly created with nails and cat faeces.

>>736295859
yup more or less, luckily I'm a fast cunt and I circled back around and fucked off in my car

>>736296005
However to my surprise I found out the P fueled bastards had injected my tires with their concrete-sharpened needles. I had hit a dead end road, the 3 P daddies were racing behind me in their Toyota Corolla, windows smashed and everything. I had no where to go, so I did what any other reasonable guy would do. I stripped down to my underwear and started to sing that one Miley Cyrus song everybody hates. "Heyeeeeah yeeayeah it's a party in the USA." Next thing you know it, my unbelievable performance had frightened off the 3 P daddies. I make use of the time and unpeel the banana in the back of my jeans pocket.

>>736289528
kekt

>>736296281
As I am chowing down my ripened Banana out of the corner of my eye comes one of the enraged junkies squealing "GIMMIE THE FOOKIN BANANI YOU PIGGIE." I squeal and slam dunk the banana as fast as I could down on his skull, the sounds the poor P daddy made was unbearable. I tried to silence him by covering his mouth however the banana induced orgasm was too strong for my tools. The two other P daddies come crouching behind the car saying "WHERE ME COINS" and "GOT ME SOME WINZ MONI?" I escape luckily by speed dialling pizza hut, putting it on speakerphone and throwing them my outdated Samsung Galaxy Y. I then run into the sheep paddock nearby and seek shelter behind a shed.

>>736295859
>>736296005
>>736296281
>>736296672
I feel like this is a story almost worth saving to read again some day far from now

>>736296786
Im writing a book on it, it's called "Three P Daddies and the lost fergie." The funny thing is I am legitimately a Liberian storyteller for children. I often seek their advice when writing my stories.

>>736294156
my wife's boyfriend works at AUT he lectures economics there

>>736297469
i study eco lol, whats his name

>>736297704
Geoffrey Brooke

>>736297469
>wifes
>boyfriend
fucking cucked by an AUT lecturer. A commercecuck too

>>736297943
>>736297891
oh yeah my friend fucked him, like no shit thats why I was wondering lol

>>736298026
>>736297943


how can i even compete?

>>736298095
>lectures economics
compete by being in a field that has a entry barrier of not being a lazy failed lawyer/accountant. Economics is a SOCIAL science ffa

>>736299277
go and tell Warren Buffet that, fgt

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>>736299379
Lol k bruh your lecturer is shaggin ur mates

>>736292079
Why, I *am* a chink faggot nigger! I'll pack my bags and move there, right away.

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>>736299913
I'll fuck ya with a racoon penis bone you hog fucker.

Where is the weed?

>>736300247
go look on your front lawn idiot

>>736300247
search my asshole, I found weet bix up there last week, so surprises everywhere there ay.