What's the most autistic thing you've ever done?

>>735920120
come here every day

fpbp

>>735920386
This.

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>>735920120
voted for cobyn

>>735920120
Ever turn your head when in public on impulse whenever someone says something? Maybe just me but I think I take 1st place with this:
>be me
>looking around town square
>couple arguing
>insults going back and forth
>"YOU COCK MONGLING FAGGOT!"
>I turn as quick as I could on impulse (autism impulse)
>and point at myself
>everyone stops and looks at me
Top this and you'll be rewarded

>>735920460
Bang up job retard

Made a girl I dated believe her nudes were spread online

>>735920460
kek

>>735921324
That's not autistic or retarded at all, that's just being a dick for a cheap laugh

Getting diagnosed with ASD.

Your mother

Using the word autistic an insult than getting diagnosed with HFA 3 years later

>>735920386
That

I sob at my workplace (trying hard to hold back) because my supervisor yelled at me.

>>735920386
and even this

>>735920120
get diagnosed as autistic

>>735920120
turned all the gas valves in school labratory when i was a retarded kid, good thing they shut them down from canisters and not just from heaters

Get a dui

>>735923099
Jesus Christ, what were you hoping to accomplish?

>>735923316
early dismissal!

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autistic / cringe
>be me, 20
>start working summer job
>qt co-worker who's been working there a while
>one day qt co-worker comes in to work and say hey to everyone
>qt: "hey anon how are you"
>me: "a lot better now that you're here"
>mfw realized what I just said
>awkwardly avoid her entire summer

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>open juice bottle
>forgot I opened juice bottle
>image

>>735920120
Went to a hooker who turned out to be a total hambeast.

Instead of leaving immediately, I went ahead and fucked her anyway because I'm a desperate lame-ass.

>>735920863


>be me

>be 11

>have qt 2nd or 3rd cousin dtf

>boner.png

>be in the approach position

>aw yis

>bladder.exe has experienced an unenforced error

>BRB pee break

>no pee just boner excitement

>get back drop Luther Vandross

>cousin no longer in mood

>brother is

>nigga wat

>spend rest of time trying to get back into those panties with no luck

>feels bad man

>>735923734
Follow up nigga, damn! Always follow up with awkward wink and finger guns. Guaranteed to turn qt in Niagara Falls.

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>>735920120
>What's the most autistic thing you've ever done?
start a dubs thread on 4chan or reply to a post with check em.

>>735923734
Oh god I hate when that happens

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>>735920120
I broke up a gay couple in high school using this picture.

>>735924059
Not as bad, but I almost porked a sheboon ham-beast only to find out later it was a dude.

>>735924521


That's some bullet dodging Neo shit right there.

>>735924994
Not really, as we were making out on the couch and I felt down to start the river flowing from "her" cooch, I didn't feel a cooch but rather a a tiny party sausage.

I jumped out the window after that

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>>735920120
>be me
>newish employee at firm
>decide I can score points by hosting party
>invite everyone at work
>see boss through window walking up drive
>his arm around his wife
>I think, 'say something funny'
>so I call out window, 'hey you two, get a room'
>his wife looks up
>not his wife, turns out
>it's his daughter
>mfw I told my boss to get a hotel room so he could fuck his child

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>>735920460

>>735920120
Voted for Trump

>>735921324
This isn't an alpha thread man, fuck off.

>>735921524
Shut up manchild.

Backpeddling in a mythic dungeon.

I blackmailed my sister with her nudes into giving me a bj

>>735927223
>shit up manchild

>>735920386
Basically

>>735927411
It's like you morons can't read, AUTISTIC not ALPHA.

Place Pixels on PixelCanvas.io while spinning my fidget spinner on my hoverboard with a vape in my other hand

>>735927468

Alpha is me getting the superior dubs while you get the lowly peasant singles.

>>735927411
Did it work ?

>>735927644

Yes, you should have read the other thread I described it in.

>>735927784
Damn you're fucked up Billy she will probably hate you all her life and that's how you ruin your familiy

>be me about 12 in school
>in form room and our tutor says hes having a baby soon
>people asking questions
>i ask ''what would you do if it died''
>i was just curious about the emotional effects and if they would try for another baby
>room goes quiet
>people giving me horrific looks
>this one noggo girl says that i want his baby to die
>i instantly start crying
>everyone joins in calling me names
>the bell rings and everyone leaves
>teacher asks me to stay behind
>i just say i was curious about his thoughts and diddnt mean that i want his baby to die
>i cant remember what he said my mind was pretty hazy

>>735927925

But at least I'll have a Nephon, or a Niecaughter.

>>735920120
Post on this thread.

>>735920386
This

>be me
>being at small party (4 classmates and a friend)
>barely knew them
>trying to impress one of the girls
>i ask for the toilet cuz beer, a lot of beer
>vomit all the corridor long
>vomit also on her lap

>>735920120
being autistic

>>735923734
Lol, that's not autistic, coulda been lol I was kidding just teasin u kno...

>Decide life sucks, going to an hero
>open bottle of tylenol
>eat 20, wait 10 minutes
>eat 20, wait 10 minutes
>eat 20, wait 10 minutes
>eat 20, wait 10 minutes
>eat 20, wait 10 minutes
>all gone, wtf, don't even feel weird.
>go back to playing ultima online

>>735920120
Well, I helped make an autistic child. About as close as I can get without actually being one...

>>735920386
Yep.

>>735928509
maybe you waited too long?

>>735928893

Maybe tylenol is a made up drug by our government made to control our minds.

>>735923734
>"a lot better now that you're here"
>proceed to dump a bunch of work on her
>take a break

captcha: book, gives me a whole bookshelf, ffs

>>735920386
/thread

>>735929285

/thread

>>735928509
We need to study your genetic code

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>>735920120
i ran through the paddy fields when i was young

I've dropped concact with a friend because they kept their beta fish in a bowl.

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>>735920120
I pluck my pubic hair out of my crotch and rub the greasy roots on my face.

>>735928509
m8 your liver is fucked

I eat my ass scabs

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>>735928509
>ultima online

nice.

>>735924228
check em!

>>735926124
fuckin kek

>>735924228
Autistic? Pssh check this
>dubs get

>>735922587
I'm actually afraid I'll have an autistic child coz I rip on them so much

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>>735929999
Even when i succeed, i fail

>>735925511
party sausage!
xD lel!

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I didn't vote, because I figured one party was as bad as another.

>>735928509
I'm surprised your liver didn't fail tbh

>>735920386
these

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>>735929999
nice

>>735930187
You were right. You should've supported a third party as a protest vote though, at the very least. I dont think it'll be the greens or the LP that ends up winning a presidential election as a third party, but I feel like political involvement about to increase drastically in America.

>>735929999
Legend

>>735927603
go back to tumblr newfag

>>735928002
thats fucked up annon

>>735928002
*teacher takes you aside*
Listen here you little shit

>>735929999
are you a wizard

>>735928061
dude that's not how babies are made

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>>735924228

>>735920120
Followed Boxxy to /b/. Fail

>>735929999
Witch!

>>735920386
fpbp

>>735920863

> be me
> 5 years ago
> at work in retail store
> been in the backroom working all day, haven't opened my mouth to talk or anything
> because of that, lips are kind of sealed together
> "Hey anon, I need you to cover so-and-so's lunch break, just hang out in the area for half an hour and help customers if they need it"
> just nod, I was tired
> covering coworker for her lunchbreak
> nothing big
> nod to a few customers walking past me
> customer walking my way
> just a normie dude
> He says hello to me
> I try to say "what's up"
> lips were still fused together
> unintentionally make "mmm-" sound before saying "what"
> autism strikes and I stop saying "what" mid word.
> comes out "mmwa"
> I just fucking blew this customer a kiss
> horror in his eyes
> speedwalks past me, looking straight ahead
> fucking autismo brain
> coworkers made fun of me for it for the next couple years

>>735920120
waiting for >>735999999

>>735928002
I did this

>>735933151
souljaboy checkem!