Title says it all. The strongest animal you could take on in

I think I could take on a gorilla. I'm smaller therfore my speed would overwhelm him.

Probably a velociraptor. When I play video games I have very high apm and accuracy so I would punch the raptor out before it could react. gg no re

>>735869969
Gorillas are fuckin fast dude, I don't mean to sound negative but they are and you'd have to go for weak spots like eyes or balls

>>735869757
bobcats are like extra large housecats

>>735870287
Jurassic Park velociraptors or real velociraptors cause real like ones are like only a few feet tall and long

How does the fight start?

Face to face, eye to eye, let's do it?
Mountain lion, black bear, probably a horse.

Ambushed?
Large squirrel

Realistically a single wolf. More than one and I'm fucked but I could kill just the one.

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>>735870987
with room to move you can't do a fucking thing to a horse, literally invulnerable to fists even assuming they let you get close

>>735870287
That's like saying you could beat up an angry turkey.

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>>735869757
No you couldn't. If you reach out to grab it you may as well have slit your own wrists. It is possible, but not without a blood transfusion.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JopikO4cBGM

>>735869757
>Title says it all.
what title OP? WHAT TITLE?!

>>735870987
Mountain lion probably. Bear probably not. Hose would be difficult.

>>735872869
You think you could manage a mountain lion. But not a garden hose? Wutthufuck?

>>735873111
Hoses are big, man. They can kick you dead.

>>735870987
>no weapon
>no protection
>black bear

Are you that dumb? It's physically impossible. Not with bear's bone density and skin's thickness. Just no.

Has anyone here ever tried to kill a larger animal with your bare hands? It is a lot harder than you think. 30 minutes of fight for your life. That is some of the hardest work you can possibly imagine.

I could probably stomp one of those poison dart frogs, one of the deadliest creatures on the planet btw.

>>735873292
Fuck I tried to kill a wounded squirrel with a ball peen hammer hit it in the skull like 8 times. And was still breathing.

big moth. 'nuff said.

>>735873451
You'd be surprised what you can live through

>>735873696
Faggots here think they can one punch a predator animal and I'm laughing my ass off.

There's a reason why humans invented tools.

I could take a snapping turtle no probs.

A spider.

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>>735869757


Any dog up to a german shepherd as long as it is only a single dog.

i think i could take on a coyote
>6'
>170 lbs

>>735869757
if it was coming at me head on?
A single wolf.
wolves lunge for the throat. Sacrifice and arm (best if wrapped in something, like a coat, lest you end up literally sacrificing it), and catch it's jaws when it lunges for you.
While it is clamped on your arm, you have room to strike. If you carry a knife, now is when you use your other hand to bury it in it's skull. Otherwise, eyes, throat, and soft underbelly, as many fierce strikes as you can.

>>735869969
This kid getting murdered because he watched too much anime.

>>735869757
Probably a quail. And not just any quail...a mean one. Pretty confident about that.

>>735874030
no. that's like taking on the inquisition. i saw this huge spider tonight; it tried to stick me, and take my shoes. never trust a spider.

>>735874301
Coyotes are small.

>>735874313
Just offer it a belly rub. Howl at it. And show it your cool wolf tail keychain on your belt loop. ๏╭╮๏

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>>735872675
*blocks your path*

i could fuck up a shark easily, provided I win the coin toss and get to fight it on land

I could kill a shark on land. fuck a shark up on a beach.

>>735869969
Whew lad you better be fuckin quick. Silverbacks can top out around 20-25 mph (fuckers are quick on all 4s) but I don't know if that's just like sprinting speed straight line stuff or what.

Still, I wouldn't want to see anyone take that chance.

>>735874757
yeah that's why i think i could take it

>>735869757
In body weight? Probably a smaller variety nigger, they can be like 70kg and still pretty weak compared to other animals of that weight.
Of course this is assuming it doesn't have a weapon of some sort.

>>735869757
I could beat up somebody's kid, but not much older that 10.

>>735869757
Lol a house cat would fuck you up.

Cats are worse than you think. Especially when you have thin human skin and barely anything besides brute force to hurt it with.

A chihuahua might be more in your class

>>735870987
A horse could literally gore you in fucking seconds with it's hooves. Hell, a large whitetail deer could probably stomp a grown man to death with ease.

I'm not sure, not much. Not because I'm in bad shape but most animals have claws or teeth that could kill me in one go. Probably a rabid mud size dog but even that would be rolling the dice. Wild animals are scary though. I had a dream I was in the woods running from bears and I couldn't escape no matter what.

>>735869757
>title says it all

There are no subject titles on /b/ dumbass

>>735875917
re: deer, that's totally a thing. #wisconsin

>>735876061
Mid*

>>735874313
No weapons. No prep. You can keep the coat.

>>735874827
God I've always wanted to beat the shit out of one of these fuckers. They've all but taken over the park that me and my gf go running at. Apparently its a fucking felony to even touch one.

>If I could get away with it, I would literally atomic elbow every single one I saw to death. From the top fucking ropes.

>>735876349
>no weapons
implying some people don't just carry a knife, regularly.

>>735876061
You shouldn't run from a bear.

>>735876086
Ohio fag here, I totally know it /b/rother

>>735876452
That's the parameters of the thread. Either abide or gtfo.

>>735876452
It's a hypothetical you moron. I carry a gun daily but you don't see me going 'oh well I could just shoot it hurr durr'

>>735869757
bigger. you are retarded to think that anybody on this thread could take on a wild animal and live to tell about it. that bobcat would rip your fucking throat out

>>735869757
Must be the same idiot who thought he could take on a gorilla.

Fuck off.

>>735876065
He meant the image title you fucking artichoke

>>735876678
>>735876717
you both seemed to miss that his answer included "if i don't have a knife."

>>735869757
I'm not big, 5"11" 165lbs.

I'd say a small cougar, they are pansy faggots and it's not unheard of for people to fight them off the bigger ones with knives

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>>735869969

>>735877090
Yeah having a knife vs having no knife actually makes a huge difference. The difference between being able to immediately puncture and bleed vs being pidgeon-holed into what blunt force trauma your fists can muster.

Knives can instakill things, it takes strength to kill anything of decent size with your bare hands.

>>735869757
Anaconda

Cause I do not have buns therefore I could get the drop on him

>>735870790
it's precisely because of that that I think OP is pretty manly. I honestly would have a hard time taking down my fucking housecat. That little bastard is a scrapper.

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No prep time means things in my pockets i can use as weapons right?

I could take on a Owl. Tops maybe two Owls. I like to think im strong as shit, but anything bigger than a owl would fuck me up. Unless it has some kind of disease to handicap it.

>>735877530
A fucking owl? Bitch I could end 5 owls before lunch.

>>735877530
>Thread says no weapons
>I can use the weapons in my pocket right?

I found a opposum in my chicken coop the other night. I was barefoot and just wearing boxers. I didn't want a fight with that thing. Managed to get it into a pool net and over the fence without incident.

>>735877664
Doesn't matter, it's a fucking owl. Take off your pants and whip it once to fucking kill it

>>735877530
But what if the disease made it more deadly?

>Rabies

>>735869757
A blue whale. Anything less and you are a betafag

>>735877709
i caught a duck in a net once

>>735877709
Possums are pretty bro if you catch one.

I caught one when I lived on a farm and I taught his ass to kill rats

I think I could get away with bout 3 goana did 2 but was in ICU after

>>735877709
Those things are actually more bark than bite. They'll sit there and hiss and snarl at you all night, but if you go to pick them up or touch them they'll either run or play dead.

>Unless they're rabid of course

Tbh they're actually quite cuddly, I've heard they make decent pets because they're super docile.

I could probably take on a chihuahua by making on the spot tacos and thereby stunning it for hour on end

>>735869757
I crushed a cockroach once

>>735876577
>Laughs in Michigan

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>>735877641
I suck at fighting. If i had gloves i could probablyssnatch a few more before i run inside my house and go for a gun.

>>735877664
It said no prep time, but anything can practically be ised as a weapon. So items in your pockets can be used as weapons. Kinda like if you were walking in a forest and it suddenly spooked the fuck outta you.

>>735877745
Oh shit, hadnt thought about that. Maybe one owl would end me if it had rabies

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>>735877753
>Punching the shit out of this blue whale
>Struggling to keep up with how fast it's floating
>Still punching the shit out of it
>Try kicking it some, not much difference
>Go swim around to try and find it's eye
>It decides to swim away at 40 mph, no hope of me catching up
>Mfw it never even knew I was there

>>735878090
Shit, had a friend, think his name was bitch, his mom was killed by those

>>735877926

Yeah, I've seen them around plenty. They're skiddish. But I was basically naked and didn't want to chance it so I pussed out and got the net instead. Plus wrestling around in the chicken run then my chickens would have gotten out and the opposum probably woulda bit my dick and none of that sounds fun.

>>735878184
What if he swam into its mouth and choked it to death

>>735878256
>mental scene

Made me kek

>>735878183
Tbh I don't know if owls can even get rabies, part of me wants to say it's a mammal only type deal.. could still have some sort or psycho inducing bird flu or something though

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>>735878308

>>735877530
Birds that fly have hollow bones. You could fuck up an eagle with a solid backhand if you knew it was coming.

>>735878257
Blue whales eat colossal squids, mate. Them choking on a human would be like you choking on a grain of rice.

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>>735869757
A coyote - by which I mean a small greasy spic who smuggles wetbacks, not those dog thingies.

Animals are fucking ripped. Everything larger than rodents have completely different bone density, skin, protective layers of fat. Even big rats are real hardy. Wild pigs have a layer of mixed fat and keratin up to an inch thick that is basically armor. It's enough to stop handgun rounds.

Anyone saying anything larger than a wolf or fox or small bird are full of shit. Dude a dear in heat will maul you to death and not give a shit about a thing you do to it. A bear is just going to suffocate you by sitting on you or shrug you off and walk away. A horse can kill you with a single kick. Cats are like jello good luck trying to punch or hold something with such arcane shapeshifting powers. Most people could not even win a fight again another person, and that's one of the weaker animals on Earth.

>>735878257
Plus, if he gets choked on by a whale (probably crushed) how does that mean he wins the fight?

>>735878643
Oh Shit he's back for round 2. Get the cod piece ready

>>735878184
I was gonna use my massive 5" penis to stuff up it's blowhole. When it frantically came up for air I would come so hard my jizz would shoot out of it's eyeballs and render it blind, adrift, and still suffocating.

My plan is better than yours.

I could probly beat a small dog

>>735878711
Blue whales eat plankton. You know the chum bucket faggot from spongebob.

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>>735872834

>>735878614

I just looked it up... Conventional wisdom says mammals only but theres a documented and verified case of a chicken catching it from a rabid dog. It affected the bird differently though and didn't show classic symptoms.

>>735869969
all these responders taking that sweet, sweet b8

>>735872675
Swans can break bones and have killed people

>>735878727
>Cats are like jello

I love this analogy. Trying to hold onto a cat that doesn't want to be held is literally like trying to hold onto a greased up snake

>>735878727
>get mauled by deer

I've seen hundreds of fucking videos of dudes snapping the necks of bucks trying to -gore- them (not being an asshole when I say that, gore literally means to fight with tusks or antlers. Maul denotes claws and teeth)

>>735878848
>Suffocates a blue whale
>Gets a 'blow' job in the process

I like where your head is at, anon. I call seconds.

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I once tried to kill one of my dads goat by strangulation and I couldn't do it. Had the fucker in a head lock for like 10 minutes.

>>735878929
Oshit you're right. What the fuck whale am I thinking of then? Sperm?

>>735879234
That whale with the fucking horn I think

>>735873451
Should've choked it you autist

>>735878979
Interesting, did it detail the symptoms at all?

>>735879234
Orca

I could fuck up an armadillo, an aardvark, and a pudu.

>>735879369
>a pudu

But why?

>>735879293
Kek a narwhal? I don't think they're quite big enough to take on the colossal squid

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I suffocated a chihuahua once. It was old and dying and in pain but it feels bad anyways man

>>735879424
I'm pretty drunk man. I thought narhwals were these badass dudes

>>735879301

Month after the dog bite it quit eating and acted tired for a day then died. They did an autopsy and verified rabies in its brain. It had rabies lesions on the brain but they looked different than when seen in a mammal.

>>735879336
Nah I looked it up it is sperm whales. Not sure about orcas tho, probably.

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>>735879300

>>735879081
I would sincerely like to see you try.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VaH_gWmabJY

>>735879234
Yes, sperm.

>>735879081
Hundreds of videos hey? Find me one. Just one.

>>735879506
Rofl I mean they look pretty badass with the unicorn horns and everything, and according to google they do eat regular sized squids.

>>735879529
Those motherfuckers eat sharks and shit couldn't see it eating giant octopus but still fuck being in the water with one

>>735869757
Cats go for the throat op that's not a good choice, as far as what I could win in a fight against, I'd probably say max would be something like an ostrich only bc it would be very difficult for an ostrich to inflict a fatal wound as long as you get it by the neck before the fucker can kick.

>>735879420

Self defense

>>735879506
It's the unicorn of whales, of course it's badass.

>>735879520
Whew that's crazy. I tell ya I don't think I'd wanna be the first of a species to get a disease that doesn't belong.

Man I usually think of /b/ as something that rots my brain but I'm actually learning a bit in this thread.

>>735871793
>invulnerable to fists
quote of the day

>>735879670
Right. They're badasses for being named after cum.

Maybe we had to make them seem less terrifying somehow lol

Killed a mountain lion once with bare hands anyone interested???

I'd take on an elephant.

Not like a full grown one, but a baby one, a complete new born, just minutes old. I bet I could whoop its ass, so long as the momma wasn't there to protect it.

>>735876817
The image doesn't have a title. It has a filename. And it just says "bobcat". That doesn't "say it all". That's actually a very small part of "it all".

>>735879129
You can get the butt but that blowhole is all mine

>>735869757
>implying wrestling is good for shit in a fight with anything, except gay boy tickling
Also, if you are 6'2, 250 and you think you'd have trouble with a bobcat, you are a pussy by my standards. I killed a very large, male pitbull that was in his prime and an experienced pit fighter with my bare hands. Way bigger and tougher than your mouse-chaser.

a duck maybe a goose in a good day

>>735879887
Greentext that shit and we can decide if you're telling the truth

>>735879977
Fuckin drop kick that bitchass elephant

>>735879789

Right? I had to look it up, wasn't sure if some vagrant rodent could give my hens rabies. I don't want rabid chickens.

>>735876868
He would die

>>735870397
Do you think you could suck his balls fast enough to submit him?
No homo.

>>735879579
Look as much as I'm sure you know Alot from sitting on your ass all day, I've seen it fucking happen. Stags aren't these amazing creatures. They arent bulls, a decently sized man can muscle them.
>>735879654
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/9896288/ns/us_news-weird_news/t/man-battles-buck-his-bare-hands-wins/

I can't find a video, but feel free to come on down to the bass pro shop in (hell any hunting town will do) Camden county Tennessee, ask for Mike (that's me) and I'll show you my stack of tapes

>>735878649
The owls are like the chinese, they're sneaky and usually taste good with some Mac's Sweet and Sour.

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>>735880102
>Gay boy tickling

>>735877370
Because it don't want none?

>>735870987
penis swording

Nah you'd get fucked cunt i've been to kenya they'll tear a man to fucking shreds over the course of 20 minutes while he screams and begs for people around him to help. But ofcause they won't, because they're pussy cunts and don't want to die aswell.
For me though I could probably take down a lion with my bare hands no prep. I'm a pretty skinny dude too.
I'm just a hard cunt.

>>735869757
A human.

>>735880228
I do side bends and situps for this very day

>>735869757

A Grizzly Bear.
I would consume a beyond lethal dose of poison; then take on a fully grown, adult grizzly bear, fight it, it would kill and eat me, and then die.

So by rights, I would fight it and kill it.

>>735880141
Yes that would certainly be terrifying. Imagine walking into the coop one morning and being just blindsided by talons and flapping feathers, foaming at the beak.

Your eyes wouldn't stand a chance.

>>735869757

A donkey

i could probably kill a fucking huge pitbull too, im ripped

>>735880084
don't take it literally. It's implied that OP was talking about the bobcat in the filename, not all the other shit.

>>735880102
So easy to lie on the internet. Nice try though.

A polar bear. I'd choke him out or put him in an armbar.

>>735878257
You'd have a better chance clawing your way out of its stomach. Break a rib off on the way down and stab it in the blow hole

>>735880355
No prep faggot

Giraffe easy

>>735880366

I already can't go in there without a shirt on. I got a mole on my lower back and they peck at it. Little cunt tore a bit off and drew blood. Last time I go in there topless...except for the other night, that was more like an emergency though

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bitch, i kickbox. thai clinch = great white type psi. imagine if a great white could walk on land, and then he thai clinched a fucking kodiak. that is what the fuck i would do to a kodiak. (only if the kodiak was being mean though, of course; i like bears. pic obviously related.)

>>735879336
>>735879529
Orcas go After smaller prey like seals and sea lions and large fish

>>735880435
>Put him in an armbar

Fucking kek. Yeah let us know how that armbar goes while it bites a chunk out of your neck

>>735871793
Invulnerable you say? I once fisted a water buffalo to the fuckin elbow and he slipped on his cum hoof and deded. I did not even have my cape on and only one shoe so it was almost fair fight. Two shoes=deadly ninja skillz. I even mastered Liu Kang in Mortal Kombat back in 90s so I even know the finishing moves on Goro. I am very serious.

>>735880674

Small price to pay though considering that I eat their eggs and harvest meat from time to time

>>735880674
Fucking kek what did they think it was a bug or something? How big is it???

>>735869757
A human.

>>735880599
Cyanide capsule in my tooth. Already there. Don't ask why

>>735879698
you dumb mother fucker these things can kill lions

I once kill bear with salmon slap. Cuz, MY fucking salmon bitch!

>>735880121
>Be 15
>Fishing with brothers
>I go a lil further from them because cant catch trout worth a shut
>use chumming tatic to try to catch trout
>Doesnt work
>Frustrated as fuck
>I hear twig snap a couple yards from me
>Back up
>Drop fishing pole
>Fuckin mountain Lion just there
>Shitpants.jpg
>Back up into river
>Starts to creep on me
>Fucker lunges
>Grabbing it by throat pushing it back
>Wrestling the fucker in the river
>Brothers try to help but too far
>It lost its footing in the water
>I get the advantage
>Start gouging its eyes and trying to drown it
>Its back legs clawing my shin
>grab decent river rock
>Mc Hammer time
>Start pounding the rock on its head
>Not scared
>Start getting angry
>Dont know if its dead but keep hammering
>Look down
>Fucker is twitching blood everywhere
>Look at brothers and tell them to gtfo now
>Not okay to kill mountain lions where we live
>Leg is covered in blood
>Dont go to hospital because poorfag
>Still pissed about not catching trout
>Almost died because of chumming
>Never chum again

>>735869757
I workout, practice jiu jitsu and boxing.
I could probably take a fat dog out or a sickly horse

>>735880867

It's a big nasty mole, like half a penny maybe

Chickens are just like that. They peck at anything that stands out. If I wear sandals they go after my toes. They'll go after any sort of lint or buttons or zippers or loose strings on your clothes. They're curious and hungry little bastards.

>>735880867
>chunk out of your neck

it would devour his fucking head in 1 small bite

those things are literal beasts

a couple of rounds from my Ar-15 would do the job though

>>735880121
Oh and btw I left that fucker in the river

>>735881145
Did you fuck it after it ded?
Is nice fuck, no?

>>735881254
That's hilarious I need some

>>735881359
No.

>>735881145
obvious lie is obvious

>>735881463
At least you finger butthole? Is nice?

>>735881401

They're kinda fun and you get plenty of eggs. I recommend getting them real young, just after they hatch. You'll have to raise them indoors and care for them a lot for the first few weeks but then you'll be imprinted on them and they'll think you're their mom or something so they'll be real cool with you and want to sit in your lap and stuff. If you get them after they're mature they're a bit more feral.

>>735881506
Believe dont believe anon, Dont need your approval

>>735878649
>Eagle dives at you going 100mph
>goes for your face
>Repeat

>>735881644
its so sad you feel the need to lie on an anonymous manchurian horse breeding website

>>735881650
Scissor kick that bitch into oblivion

>>735869757
>I think I could take on a bobcat
>picking feline opponents
that's a bad idea in itself, let alone picking a bobcat. fucking claws, they'd fuck you up, it's not a dog whose only dangerous feature is its fangs. Imagine fighting with a big dog that has cat's agility and retractible claws.

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I'm a 6" 1' broad guy, could probably take on a wolf or something, kick him in the lungs and then try to break his neck, anything more than that is probably not going to happen though, humans aren't really build for physical combat with other animals, not without weapons anyway.

>>735869757
killer whale
I'd just stand on the shore and wait for 50 years

>>735881701
Wish you were there to see it You would be proud

an elephant, I'm faster and more agile therefore I'd exhaust the motherfucker and then stab him in the eye

>>735880824
>slipped on his cum hoof
kek

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if i were in the ocean like scuba diving, totally win
fistfuck his breathing hole until he suffocates
same strategy applies to if i attack from a boat but he can hold his breath much better . . . .

i'll chance it

>>735880182
It takes 1250 footpounds of torque to break a neck. This isn't a fucking chuck norris movie. If you think you can just go snappin necks you're fucking retarded.

>>735880102
>Way bigger and tougher than your mouse-chaser.
it's not "way bigger and tougher", they're in fact similar except pitbulls have shorter midget limbs, unlike bobcats with their unusually long and strong legs

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>>735869757
I am third in track at my Uni so I am pretty fast pretty confident I could outrun a nuclear bomb.

Shia LaBeouf

>>735875442
Kek

>>735882452
That has literally nothing to do with what this thread is about. 0/10, let us know which Uni you go to because clearly it's not working. Wouldn't want to send my kids there.

A mosquito is probably the largest animal I would want to kill.

I could probably take on a coyote realistically. Obviously this is 4chan and everyone is overestimating what they could kill

>>735882584
>That has literally nothing to do with what this thread is about
This is exactly what this thread is about. Making senseless claims about how you can fight some animal because you are slightly above average height or played a sport. Anon has taken this to a comical level by claiming he could fight a nuclear bomb.

>>735882703
Full grown coyote are between 15 and 40 lbs. I bet you can do better.

>>735882263
>whale pulls you to the bottom of the ocean untill you liteally explode
good luck, lmao

Pretty sure I could take a pack of velociraptors. I did gymnastics when I was little.

>>735883003
Im pretty sure velociraptors are like 2 feet tall.

>>735882895
cum in your mouth until you literally explode, then do the same to the whale's blowhole.
good luck to you too faggot

>>735882784
He didn't though he said he could outrun it which is the exact opposite

>>735883145
>>735883145
Did he tho??? Did he?

I fought a buck, but it wasnt really a fair fight. I dropped onto his back from a tree. Wrassled him for awhile, he wore himself out, and when he fell over, he hit his antlers on the ground and twisted his neck. Took him awhile to die.

>>735882584
It's called satire, you mongoloid.

>>735883145
Running is fighting when you're dealing with a kms-based animal like a nuclear bomb.

>>735869757
Elephant, but it'd have to be old or weak. Id get it away from the herd and use persistence hunting to tire it out. It'd take weeks, however. Our ancestors did exactly this 10,000 years ago on large megafauna like mammoth, why can't I?

>>735883491
I like the way you think

>>735881145
Fake and gay

>>735869969
Lol no

>>735874827

FUCK these things. My girlfriend and I regularly go for a walk near the river that runs through our city and these bastards are just everywhere right now. They hiss and fluff up their neck to make themselves look bigger and I swear, they're just cunts, all of them.

She fucks with them though. She'll find one that's kind of on its own and walk toward it slowly and hiss at it. It'll get all defensive and usually just run away. Couple of weekends ago, one of them wasn't having her shit and it chased her back onto the sidewalk, then went back to sitting on the ground like an asshole. Pretty funny actually. I got chased by a group of them when I was a kid, too. Little dickheads just pick on anything they can find to pick on.

A friend of mine slapped the shit out of one once, a few years ago. A few of us were down by the river, there were a couple of the winged cunts in the tall grass and bushes. He didn't see them in there and one came running out at him. His first instinct was apparently to slap the fucking thing right in the face, kind of like a really aggressive facepalm. It got all flustered and half ran, half flew back into the bushes and they bastards all flew away. God I hate those little fuckers.

>>735876086
I live in Wisconsin and almost ran into a deer on my bike in a high traffic part of Madison last night

>>735869757
I think I could take down a large dog, like mastiff size. I'm 6'1 210 and I played football through highschool as a linebacker. Also have been taught boxing for 6 years but that wouldn't help much. I think if shit really hit the fan I could take a small black bear at the most.

>>735883491
>Our ancestors did exactly this 10,000 years ago
...with fucking spears.

I could probably kill the Hulk.

>>735883145
>>735883285
>>735883395

Track Anon here, I want to confirm that I intend to fight the nuclear bomb one on one in a battle to the death, my athletic skills and intellectual prowess will allow me to combat it on both fronts.

Pic related, established precedent.

>My sides this entire fucking thread

>>735873280
You get them on their back and they will retreat, unless this is like a cage match or something but either way you can choke out a black bear with a headlock

>>735869757
I could take your mom.

>>735884105
Very small black bear.

>>735883959
>walk into an animal's nesting habitat
>expect not to get fucked with
The goose is a stupid bird, what's your excuse?

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>>735884229
Forgot pic

>>735874049
What about like a rottweiler?

>>735884229
>one on one in a battle to the death
The nuclear bomb is literally death. You can't lose.

>>735884294

Hey, I stay the fuck away from them and continually warn the girlfriend to do the same. Nope, she's gotta mess with them though. She fucks with animals all the time though, its weird.

An old dog that lost all its teeth

Probably a pit bull. I feel like I could beat the fuck out of a pit bull.

>>735884390
That is very weird. From my experience it's usually boys/men who fuck with animals for no reason.

5'7 here sitting at ~180 lbs

I think I can take
>dog
>small alligator
>5racoons
>definitely a porcupine
>bullfrog
>weasel
>badger
>house cat
>capybara
>goose
>6lemurs
>ostrich
>your mom
>1 and a half cows
>a small bull
>9meercats
>Bobcat
>cheeta

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>>735870287
>When I play video games

I could probably beat a medium-sized dog to death if I had to. I'm not really a fighter.

>>735879698
A human could kill a tiger if they got it in a head lock, it comes down to luck and how badly you want to survive

God damn camel

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>>735869969

File: a_shitstorm_of_sparrows.jpg (42KB, 500x668px) Image search: [Google]

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A lobster.

>>735880758
I want to see your dumbass kick box a 10 foot 1200 pound grizzly bear.

Black Bear for sure. Not much larger than myself, and as soon as that fucker rears up, he's getting suplex'd into the grave.

>>735884578
No you couldn't. The blood vessels aren't in the same place as in humans. The only way to choke out a tiger is to crush the windpipe and I don't think any of us could do that. A man did kill a leopard by shoving his fist down his throat. Lost his arm but he killed the leopard.

I'd wreck a baby giraffe. Put that shit in a headlock and take it the dirt.

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>>735884356
Good point, I'll take that under consideration.

If I'm able to get behind a gator on dry land I can man handle one of them up to I'd say 12ft

>>735871333
Lol. Dude a wolf can take down a mature buck. What do you think it would do to you?

ITT: People who have never seen a bear in real life.

>>735884839
A strong man can generate enough force in that headlock position to knock out a small horse m8, I've seen my uncle do it

>>735884967

Until it rolls over and you lose grip of its mouth

>>735885103
No they can't. Why do you think they hunt in packs?

>>735878727
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJiZ2HgV5E0
You are wrong. Don't mistake the average weakling for human potential.

>>735885103
Wrap your arms around its ribs and make that fucker shit out his intestines

A full grown Tiger Shark, underwater

>>735884281
>black bear
>headlock
You funny m8

>>735885108
Black bears aren't that larger compared to humans, they are bigger don't get me wrong but if the need arose a full grown man could fight one into submission, a grizzly bear or polar bear is a completely different story though

>>735885156
Yes they can. It's been documented. Pack take down moose and bear and shit.

>>735869757
I guess I could probably kill a nigger if push came to shove

>>735885194
Buddy, a wolf can move in ways you can't. And can move quicker than you can. If it wants to eat you, you're fucked. Don't care who u are. That wolf is more likely to shed blood from a main artery than you doing any sort of blunt trauma.

Some dog probably. Skin and flesh just isn´t very effective at fighting, human use tools exactly because they are weak. I´d be a lot more confident with just a wooden club or metal rod in my hands or even heavy gloves.

>>735885308
Muzzled and gloved, I'd fight a black bear.

>>735885321
This, my 70lb husky took down a farm deer on his own. Didn't kill it because we stopped him, but he brought it to the ground.

And a wolf can be double the weight of what my Siberian husky was

>>735885284
If you can get behind it and wrap your arm around its neck then you can hang on and punch the thing in the nose and gouge it's eyes in then after that get off and kick it in the nads then spear the fucker to the ground, reel back and punch that thing square in the windpipe with everything you've got. (If you live that long)

>>735885445
Dude. . .this is somewhat embarrassing to admit but I got attacked by poodles on a jobsite once and those cunts when straight for my hamstrings. If I hadn't had a shovel I would have been fucked.

I can't imagine what a wolf could do.

>>735885560
Fuck poodles. Fuck poodles right in the ass.

>>735885445
I know how wolves move as I have had to fight dogs too and I'm telling you, if you can wrap your arms under its front legs and start squeezing then it's not going anywhere very easily

>>735885492
Everyone in here is hilarious but fact is. There's not a lot of wild animals that we can off bare handed. It's why we're smart enough to make guns. I'll throw a realistic one out there. I could hands down kill a cobra. Maybe not a king cobra, but a little sassy one. Only cuz I know how to handle poisones snakes

>>735885621
/thread

>>735885549
Or possible bro. The fur around his neck would soften any choke you could muster up. Think about the claws bro. He'd smack the skin off your face

>>735885478
Nah I'd want it's nails removed and have it muzzled, some nice weighted gloves for me wouldn't hurt to bad either

>>735884472
I'm yet to meet an upright and trustworthy person who fucks with animals for fun.

>>735885687
How would you get a wolfs back dude? Not fucking happening.

Leave it to ameritards to hear the stupidest shit ever each day...

Considering that a domestic pitbull can kill a person, how would any of you betafags assume he would be able to kill a wild bobcat , a wolf or even a fucking bear LMFAO.

Idiots
/thread

>>735885492
I have had to wrestle my neighbor's cane corso to the ground for trying to kill my kid anD your 70 pound shitsky is nothing compared to this 135 pound behemoth.

>>735872733
what's even the purpose of recording if you're going to do it like a complete and utter retard?

>>735885621
I think there's a thread for that

>>735885621
Nigga, canids ain't no fucking joke. I had to spray a goddamn grizzly with bear spray when I was homesteading in Alaska and it still wasn't as scary as those fucking poodles.

I wish I was lying. Fuckers nailed me. I just started whirlwinding with a flathead shovel and smacked them away from me.

Creepy fuckers didn't even suggest they were gonna attack. They just got weird and close and then boom, I was swinging a shovel around while the homeowner was screaming.

>>735883353
>I was only pretending to be retarded

>>735885762
The choke hold is so you can keep yourself there while you inflect the actual damage to his eyes and nose and if you can get behind it it can't reach you