What keeps you up at night /b/?

>>735158262
your mom

>>735158262

I have much to hate

>>735158262

Thoughts.

Cringe memories. I'm autistic and I am slowly realize how much of a fucktard iv been my entire life. Thinking of every time I embarrassed myself. Naruto runs, stupid catchphrases, getting friend zoned, growing the neck beard, etc etc. every time I close my eyes it's all there for me to see and hate myself for.

Not being able to make simple life changes like stop smoking weed everyday, getting my diet under control and waisting time not investing money

>>735158639
how old are you? you shouldn't beat yourself up over it too much, it's a normal thing for a millennial to go through
pull yourself together and start doing something constructive with your pity life
>>735158681
>>>735151506
do post results

>>735158262
bad habits

Working the graveyard shift.

>>735159088
do tell more

>>735158262
that your anger is 1200 gigabytes full. how can you live with that much anger?

>>735159146

It's not super exciting, really. Overnight/International IT and tech/AV support, so I'm up geeking when the rest of the country's sleeping.

>>735159289
oh i thought you were like a night guard at some big facility and it started messing with your mind
welp, good for you then

>>735159006
Didn't need your positivity cunt

>>735159626
you did, you're just unaware of it
no need to apologize tho

>>735159153
You'll be surprise!

>>735159006
21. I'm trying to imrove myself specifically because I can't stand who I used to be. Long road ahead for all the changes I want to make but I am working on it.

File: Samsung-HDR-High 2017-06-05.jpg (1MB, 3008x2000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3008x2000px

The midnight sun...
>pic related, is it day? morning? naah, it's fucking midnight
I love living here but damn, my sleep gets butchered.

>>735160225
Damn, thats actually fuckin nice, where u live?

>>735159840
that's a great attitude, you have your whole life ahead of you, so no worries
one day you will be able to look back at it and laugh

>>735160397
Northern Sweden. Outside a town called Haparanda.

>>735158262

The fact that I'll fail this year of college because of 1 cunt professor, I passed every other class and he's the only one giving everyone shit because he's a massive nigger faggot.

>>735160533
Thanks mate, I can't wait for the day that laugh comes

>>735158262
disloyal bitches

File: heptagram.jpg (57KB, 640x631px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 640x631px

>>735158262
The deep mysteries are starting to offer themselves to me if I have the courage to look. I've spent my life waiting patiently, sinking deeper into the inner sea, preparing myself for this. Now that the door is opening I find myself surprisingly unwilling to pass through. I wonder if I'm truly ready, and no one can judge that except me.

93

>>735160688
what class
what uni
what's the teacher like

>>735158262
Insomnia, depending on what hours it has currently pushed my sleep schedule to.

>>735158262
Work atm

>>735159088
Me too
so Fucking over it tho

File: insomnia-patrick-star-bloodshot.jpg (27KB, 576x384px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 576x384px

>>735158262
Seagulls humping

>>735161321

Same. Well said, anon. How old are you?

>>735161705
Forty-eight.

>>735161705
>>735161321
Dear friends.

>>735158262
*fap fap fap*
and then guilt because of what I fap to.
After that depression thinking of my worthless, empty, life.

>>735158262
4chin

Thinking about all the people I want to kill and how i could get a away with it.

I think about the people that have more power then us, i don't want to say names. Actually i think about what they do and why they do what they do. Why do you they intentionally make our lives worse? Why are they making us stupid and weak?
Why can't we see the aliens?

>>735158262
>genital mutilation
>war torture
>muh bootstraps crowd
>unsustainability
>stigma against charity, mental illness, etc
>insufferable by the book rule followers
>human rights violations of every sort
>the people who defend this shit

>>735158262
My nympho gf.

>>735162221
be the change you want to see in the world

>>735158262
Not wanting to sleep and missing out on waking hours, which are otherwise spent working and being a family guy.

>>735158262
Self loathing.
I hate social anxiety

>>735158262
the measurement of time and it's grand scale.
that we're merely a drop in the bucket on the cosmic scale of things.
that our existence, birth and death, are almost meaningless and essentially pointless.
we are all organic energy placed upon the earth, given timers until we all expire.
then when we expire, it's nothing, zero, black, gone, absolutely nothing can be measured, witnessed, or taken in.
it's the absolute realization of being given sentience, knowledge, and power over mathematics, the solar system, our society ourselves, and our lives that sums up our whole existence, all the way to our death.
and then just like that, all that knowledge and meaning are gone.
it scares me that once we die we turn to nothing. the absolute absence of consciousness scares the living shit out of me.
i dont want to be nothing.
i want to be something.

>>735163036
I had my own crisis about this until I managed to just accept that everything is going to die in the heat death of the universe and I can't do anything about it, I'm just along for the ride

my purpose is just to have fun and do what I've dreamed about, so about 60~ more years

File: Pearl_sketch_04.png (73KB, 606x579px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 606x579px

nothing thank god for tranquilizers

shitty circadian rhythm. spend all night shitposting

>>735163954
well it's not really a crisis more so than a realization that life is a brutal fucking piece of shit then you die

This god forsaken website.

File: profilepic.jpg (172KB, 736x552px) Image search: [Google]

172KB, 736x552px

>>735163036
im in the same boat /b/ro, sentience is the worst thing a living being can be given ;[

Not having a job after graduating in may with two Bachelor degrees. I apply to 2 - 4 jobs a day and only hear back from a hand full a week. Its shitty, I want to be able to strike out on my own and get the fuck away from being at home.

File: Death.impermanence.suffering.jpg (78KB, 500x310px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 500x310px

>>735164489
Nihilism is the coward's way out. We create meaning through our Will. There is a far side to the Void, but you won't find it if you just give up and stop flapping your arms as you fall. You don't reach Kether by wallowing in the muck. The world of the physical belongs to lesser Powers. They rule it, and likely always will. They want desperately to make you believe that this is all there is because they're powerless on the higher and more pure levels. By manifesting your Will, you transcend the prison of the physical.

>>735158262
amphetamine

>>735164824
At least you have the energy and the will to be looking.

Something will definitely come along sooner or later, if you keep at it at the pace you're going.

File: IMG_5660.png (205KB, 640x1136px) Image search: [Google]

205KB, 640x1136px

>remember when I was 18 on 4chan
>every day I'd browse /b/ and /x/
>pretty lit
>later, about five years
>yuk yuk it's another reply to post or mother die in sleep post
>Tmw skipped it because sick of that shit
>ok moving on
>three days later off to work, getting promoted at my bank
>hell yes nigga
>I get a call from my brother let's call him Sam
>"shit man what do you want?"
>pretty rattled right now because in traffic and needed to be focused for promotion
>on the phone with brother, seems shaken and cant understand his words
>"Sam calm down wtf is going on?"
>then I hear the words that would change the rest of my life
>out of my brother's mouth
>"REEE MOM IS IN THE HOSPITAL"
>yank on the steering wheel to veer out of traffic to hospital
>out of nowhere some hulking nigger wanders in front of my car
>uwotm8.jpg
>run him over because natural instinct and natural selection
>mfw pic related
>on my way to hospital thinking to myself
>tf, I might have just killed an innocent man
>hell with it, keep on driving to hospital because worried about mother
>eventually hear sirens and some cop cars trail me
>REEEEE.webm
>whale tail it out of there
>i finally make it to the hospital, at least 3 cops chasing after me as I run into the doors
>"LEAVE ME ALONE" I cried out
>"LEAVE ME BE I JUST WANT TO SEE MY MOTHER"
>doctors rush to intercept me
>I dodge and keep running
>every attempt to stop me was brutally shut down from rage
>I frantically search for her room for a good 20+ minutes
>Not giving up, tears flying out of my face from rage wondering wtf happened to my mother
>Heaving in misery as more doctors come to stop me
>Every attempt was again failed
>roiling pain in the back of my leg, an officer shot me
>shitshitshit
>limp to last room as officer fucking stumbles and falls
>eventually find her room
>every moment has lead up to this
>pussy out and pass out in front of door

...It turns out my mother died that night and she left me a note saying this:
"Read every first letter."

>>735165246
I've been trying man. I hate it because a friend of mine who had a slightly worse gpa than me just got a job at a software company that I applied to for 55k a year. Granted he applied a week before me but it still sucks haha, they have great upward mobility at that company.

File: image.png (254KB, 689x539px) Image search: [Google]

254KB, 689x539px

>>735165310

no idea, probably should go to a psychiatrist again and get something stronger for the insomnia I've been dealing with for years

File: images.duckduckgo.com.jpg (5KB, 300x187px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 300x187px

>>735165310

>>735165310
0/10, painfully obvious