Just started a temp job at a bank last week. The only drug I

>>735015630
You are still a temp? Are you looking to go perm at the company you are temping for? If you are already working there then you probably wont get tested until you try to go perm unless they do random drug tests. You should ask full perm employees if they do random tests but you have to make sure not to make it obvious that you are asking because you smoke.

>>735015630
The last piss test I took was years ago for a mechanic job.
I faked it, used my friends clean pee.
I put it in the engine compartment on the way to the place so it would be warm.
It work out for me.

>>735015630
If they hire you in, you'll get pissed tested.

>>735016115
Yeah, but that won't be for 9 months or so, hypothetically that'll give me enough time to take a forced tolerance break. At least I hope.

congrats on not smoking for 2 weeks. I have zero problem with basement dwelling fags smoking weed every day of their worthless lives. I DO have a problem with a young fuck with so little motivation to better his own life that he cant stop smoking for 1 month so he can pass the piss test. Fuck your loser friends with all their brillant ideas on how to pass a drug test - MOST of them lack even mimimal motivation to go through the process to even fake a test. Onward and Upward smoky. Good Luck.

>>735016253
If you get hurt on the job they will test you also and will fire you and deny your workmans comp too and blame it on your smoking

>>735016350
It takes more than a month if you are a heavy user. My brother smoked everyday for years and then stopped and failed a test after not smoking for 3 months

>>735015630
You'll get a pre-employment test, then after that unless you try to make a workman's comp claim, you're good.If you hurt yourself at work and are drunk/high against company policy, they don't have to pay. By the same token, they do have to pay for random screens, so they won't without damn good reason.

>>735015630
I worked on sites that you couldn't enter unless you had a valid drug test pass. I don't smoke pot, but I have friends who do copious amounts of drugs when they're not working.

Depending on where you live, I'm not sure "random mandatory piss tests" could vary from "likely" to "never happens". I've never experienced it.

Friends of mine will tape hot water bottles filled with someone else's urine to their leg and provide the sample that way.

Otherwise, I hear it takes a few weeks to get the weed out of your system.

>>735015630
The company I own and run has 35 employees.

Drug testing is part of the application process in addition to background checks on account of the fact it's a realestate and property management firm.

You get tested when you apply. Emplyment is on the condition that you 'maintain a drug free workplace' and that 'random drug tests can occur at any time'

I smoke. (but none of my employees know)
and I know plenty of my employees do too on their down time.

But I'm required by the insurance company to have drug policies in effect and in place. And in the case of accidents drug testing is mandatory as a part of the insurance agreement. A friend who runs a similar business failed to get a drug test done on his own brother after he broke his finger repairing a retaining wall on a property they own. Two months later they lost their insurance.


I also use it as a way to try and get rid of an employee.

>>735015630
Careful Op
Just last year we lost a potential engineer because of weed he did months before

>Four years old electrical engineering at a good school
>Preformed well during his internship
>Company made amazing offer with benefits and 5k starting bonus
>Two weeks before starting the job he fails the drug test
>Hiring period for engineering companies already over, can't find another job
>Half of year of sitting on his ass
>Finally gets a less than average job

>>735017126
Thats the price you pay for having book smarts but no street smarts. Any headshop sells fake urine that will pass the tests and come with heating packs. Should have done that and he would have gotten the sweet gig.

>>735015630
>>735017126

Also drug tests are of course done by third party. There's no exceptions. Due to confidentiality they won't tell why you failed, only that you failed. So it doesn't matter what drug you did. Weed or cocaine, its the same to the company.

>>735017126
wait what

Tell them it's none of their business what molecules are in your body.

>>735018313
Yeah that'll play well.

>>735019035
Are you in a state that offers medical weed?

Drink a glass of Apple vinager and you will pass it.

Depends what kind of bank. I started working at a community bank, and was surprised that I never got drug tested. I worked there 3 years before moving on. They had the "no drug use" clause in the employee manual but no one I ever knew got tested and most of my fellow employees smoked weed in their off time.

>>735019711
Its a blood bank

>>735015630
don't risk it , buy fake piss..

>>735016937
How do the background checks work? Like how far back does it go?

>>735020213
They take your computer, minimize all the windows and see whats there.

>>735015630
Work in a fucking trade job, make money like a man and enjoy smoking pot on the john.

>>735015630
Since it's a bank they might go the extra mile and opt for a hair test. If they do, you're fucked.

>>735016362
>Hurt
>At a bank

>>735020542
LUL

Probs snaps his fingers in the vault door

Odds are there are bosses/higher-ups smoking as well. But company rules are company rules.
Don't pull some fake pee test shit. Lying usually comes back to bite you. I know this. Just ask HR if they test. Then ask yourself how important the job is to you.

>>735020542
Never seen that broken desk chair pic with the blood on the floor?

>>735015994
If anyone gets too noisy say you're on Wellbutrin (burpropin). That can show up as meth in a drug test but is just an antidepressant.

>>735020789
Stop being a fat burger

>>735020841

w r o n g

>>735020975
poppy seeds as opium then?

>>735016820
sometimes "random" tests are also implemented when they need to trim off some employees, or if they suspect something and/or wanna get rid of the potential druggie specifically.

>>735016937
same. I run a business in landscape and agricultural maintenance. We piss test all employees and make them sign a random drug test agreement. Insurance usually requires a random screening every six months. We bust one or two people every time. Usually for weed or pills. Most of the time it is someone that we are already looking to get rid of

>>735021345
>>735016937
If you suspect a good employee smokes do you just never 'randomly' select them?

File: 24352q3452345234.jpg (139KB, 732x926px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 732x926px

>>735020780
Honestly this. It's not unheard of, and if you ask, they'll tell you because HR doesn't really lie when asked straight forward policy questions. Read the employee manual. It's literally all there.

If you cannot stop yourself from taking a drug in order to hold a position that you require for your well being, that is a serious issue, and I would advise seeking out counseling. Seriously-- and even ask HR about it. If you're clean and you ask about mental health services, they can't fire you (illegal), and chances are, they pay for access to a mental health service you can work with either regionally or over the phone.

Be safe and be well.

>>735019505
The dumbest fucking thing I've read so far.

Probation Officer here -

Look, all those stories from "friends" or acquaintances who claimed they failed their piss test after not smoking weed for a couple months is 100 percent BULLSHIT. They just don't have the guts and moral fiber to admit to their friends and family they couldn't stop and thought they could get away with smoking weed a few days or a week or two before their test. During the course of my career, I've tested hundreds, if not a thousand men and all of those were with 1) test cups and 2) samples sent off to the lab for confirmation. Oh, and we observe each one pissing directly into the cup (I've lost count of the amount of whizzinators and little bottles of urine seized during my career). As a rule - weed is in your system for up to 30 days. I've got clients in rehabs and inpatient drug programs who tested positive for THC when they entered and after the 30 day mark, all are negative.

Now, do I personally think weed should be legalized federally? Sure. Legalize it and tax it. I've love to smoke a bowl in the evening - but I can't. That's the job requirements and the law in my state.

In any event, suck it up. If the job you want requires you to be drug free and they COULD randomly test you, why take the risk?

>>735017126
> electrical engineer
> can't find another job

Bank is most likely only going to piss for pre employment and never again. If you get hurt on the job it is likely to result in piss test. Unless your a fucking clutz, I'd say your cool. Get a bottle of fake piss. Can't get fired for a dilute test or an invalid sample. I worked as a lineman for phone company for 20 years. No random stuff. They would lose half the crew. Plus we were union. Supposed to piss after an accident, but that only happened if the boss was already trying to fire you. One winter, three of got hurt on the same day. Only one got pissed and he was dirty and was fired. Boss had it out for him.

>>735021630
Quick fix urine works. Used it myself, don't listen to this cuck.

>>735022208
I agree. I'm 275 and never been dirty past 30 days and smoke all day long. Just took another test, no smoke for 3 months. But on Monday took 60 migs of morphine and 3 ativans. Thursday morning took test and passed. Stay hydrated and drink about a half gallon day of. Not so much it comes back diluted but enough to water it down some.

>>735022942
>I'm 275
There is no way you are that old.

>>735022706
Fake piss works. Just make sure temp is right and it's up to date. They are always changing shit. Now they look for uric acid and urea. So get fake piss that has it. Quick fix does as long as it's the most recent formula. Better yet, find some clean piss. U can dehydrate it and just add water when u have a test. Heat it up and use hardwarmers to keep it hot. Use a thermometer to gaurantee temp

>>735015630
Ok OP, none of these niggers answered your question.
It really comes down to how much you smoked.
You say you've been clean for 2 months? An average smoker will more than likely pass.
If you were smoking like 5 times a day everyday of the week for a long while, you might be fucked.

>>735023218
The hell you say. Just the right mix of opiates, meth, lsd, and teenage semen and you'll live forever. Got to have the proportions just right. Can't tell you how much dick I sucked before I figured that out.

>>735015630
You must have voted for Bernie you fucking degen. Congrats on being completely worthless.

Sure - -take a chance with the quick fix urine. But guess what? Random urines in the workplace usually go like this: Boss comes in. Tells you have been selected for a random UA and directs you to get in your car and drive to the designated walk-in site to provide a urine. Boss tells you you got 30 mins to arrive there. Once you arrive, staff direct you to have seat in front of the window (and there's a camera too over head). They bring you all the water you need until you can go. Meanwhile, you are not allowed to leave the waiting room. If you do or you arrive later, you're marked as a positive drug test. Oh, and some companies that I work with won't even let you go to the walk-in site alone. It's the boss who drives you there and hands you off to the staff.

Quick fix urine? I haven't even started talking about the sweat patch which they can slap on you for a few days. Or now, they're using mouth-swabs which soak up the saliva. Takes a couple minutes.

http://www.questdiagnostics.com/home/companies/employer/drug-screening/products-services/oral-fluid-testing/oral-fluid-overview.html

>>735023758
Does snowflake here need to go back to his safe space that is /pol/?

>>735023819
I've taken tests that were nothing like that. I had days to go. They didnt take me or watch me and the people there didnt give a fuck what i did or if i came and went.

Is it true that oral test are way more forgiving (read: easier to spoof) than piss tests? The call center I want to apply at supposedly does the oral mouth swab test

>>735024176
Just drink some fake piss before you go in. You'll be straight.

>>735024303
I may be dumb, but I'm not retarded

>>735023819
This is bullshit for the most part. Never heard of the boss going with you. Even if, bet i could still get to my bottle. 99% use regular old urine screens. Hair samples, swabs, etc are far and few between. Quick fix. Throw it on your dash with the heat on. Use hardwarmers to keep it warm. The bottle it comes with a temp gauge. I've used it for probation with someone directly behind me.

In my experience oral mouth swabs require a lot of saliva (insert joke here). The test results are pretty accurate and provide similar results as test cups but oftentimes the saliva isn't enough to get a definitive result. When that occurs, they usually try another swab or just go for the urine. Swabs are great if it's an opposite gender giving the test and / or there is no privacy available to perform a urine test.

Mileage may vary. What works for you and what system you've had the most success with will probably not work for a first timer who is nervous as hell and inexperienced with beating drug tests. Also, a lot of my clients in my area are defense related contractors, long-haul truck drivers, some military guys (misdemeanor BS) and white collar guys who work for some pretty big companies with established drug testing protocols. The boss escort thingy scenario occurred with a couple clients who were involved in some scary workplace related accidents and the employer was not fucking around - so yea, everyone's job is different.

And not to raz on you, but it sure sounds your probation department you reported was pretty easy to fool. Mine. - not so much.

>>735025744
>sounds your probation department you reported was pretty easy to fool. Mine. - not so much.
Do you look at their sex junk as they piss?