sell me this pen /b/

>>734837541
It kills niggers if you stab them in the eye.

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>>734837541

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>>734837541
>you can write with it
>implying you can write
>implying

It's made of plastic, you can write with it. I don't wanna do this

>>734837541
Sure. That'll be 1 dollar please.

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http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WR6rztHM5m

>>734837793
You sound hot

>>734837793
Crisp, desicive not op, but i want the pen now.

>>734837541
Sure, I'll just need a signature...

...oh, do you need a pen?

>>734837541
Excuse me anon could you sign for this?

Oh you have no pen

£1000 k thanks.

>>734837915
D:

>>734837915
Beat me to I faggot

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>>734837891
http://vocaroo.com/i/s17mLjBtCRe5

This pen is part of the patriarchy, would not buy.

>>734837541
Its better than a pencil as it requires less maintenance

>>734838046
Mate, give me that pen.

buy this pen or ill fucking stab you

>>734837541
This pen's ink is made from rare extracted dinosaur blood.

It was last sold at an auction for $483 Million USD.

Ill sell it to you at a bargain price, $1.25.

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femanon here. I'll put it in my ass if you buy it.

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>>734838151
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1cZ5om4HdRx

You can pretend it is a space ship. Or put it in your pooper

>>734838046
Erection achieved.

>>734837541
It's your pen... you fucking sell it to me.

A little old lady only used it to sign the Gettysburg address

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>>734838303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15hq6hYXNmM

>>734837541
Can be used to communicate, used as a weapon, used for sex, used as a utensil, and used to open shit.

>>734838200
You know the rules- tits/timestamped or gtfo.

install my ransomware
buy 1 pen to unlock your files

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>>734837915
DAMN.

>>734838448
I can paint faces with an erection

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>>734837915
best way to sell a pen; hands down

Milo used it to sign the Declaration of Independence

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>>734837915
nothx I brought my own

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>>734838601
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Z20J3S7ctb

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>>734838811
B T F O

Do you need to write something?

What do you currently use to write?

What do you like about it?

What do you not like about it?

This pen doesn't do the things you don't like and does what you like (but better) and also does <something> else.

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>>734838811
how will he ever recover?

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>>734838811
Just when I thought there could be no proper response...

>>734838886
>Do you need to write something?
>no

BOOOOOOOOOOOM

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>>734837541
>>734837915
>>734838811
Game over. Thanks for playing.

it was used on the space station to kill a virus

>>734837541
Step right up
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
That's right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales
You need pens? we got pens, how 'bout an engagement pen?
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady,
Something for the little lady
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
And a smoke-damaged pen, you can drive it away today
Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you
They come in all colors, one size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go, going out of business,
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
Don't be caught with your drawers down,
That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar
'Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet

This is not just any pen, it's THE pen!
How could you not have this pen by now?

Thousands years of evolution, and you STILL use primitive technology, the so-called "pencil"? SINCE WHEN ARE YOU A FAGGOT? I guess the only use you have for a pen is to shove it up your ass.

What? Are you afraid that you're gonna miswrite something? DON'T BE, INSTEAD, MAN UP AND KEEP ON WRITING

With this pen, you can write so much on a paper, the paper will get heavier.
You can write so much on the moon, enough to make a SECOND dark side of the moon.

DON'T WAIT NO MORE! MAKE THIS PEN YOURS!
(only 0,99$)

>>734837541
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life

We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we're going out of business

the solution was wrote before the advertisement

OP write me your name on a piece of paper

>>734837541
Do you currently have a pen? Like right now? No?
This blue pen is for sale

>>734837541
Can you write me the reasons why you arent a fag
oh wait you cant because ur a fag

>>734839053

I miss ole George.

>>734839033
>>734839053
jesus fuck take my money

oldfag there only way is to stick it up your ass sideways

>>734839327
Yoink

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how many can i put you down for?

>>734837541

You wanna write a big cheque for your brand new sports car?

You wanna write down that 10/10's number so you can fuck her later?

You wanna sign your new CEO contract?

This pen is all you need.

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Hello sir! hi.
Can we speak for a moment? My name is Anon
Mind if I know yours?
...
Well anon, look, I have a problem
I was given this, insurmountable task, it really is something
really challenging I promise.

I was tasked with selling this single, blue, bic ballpoint pen. MSRP is $0.99
I know, just an insane thing to ask of someone, right?

Anyways anon, look. I'm gonna go ahead and ask you to help me out
you buy this pen from me, and I'll make sure to get a good word in for you with
the boss. You like preferential treatment, right anon? I can make it happen.

Anyways thanks for listening to my little spiel, meet me up front if you want to make the best use of that $0.99 that you possibly could. Thanks!

You need this pen to sell penny stocks

Free p&p

you can use it to blow spitballs or cut out the middle man and just blow me

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>>734837541
The pen is blue

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but Waite there's more I'll trow in this picture I drew with it

>>734837541
It goes in your butt.

President Trump used it to sign the Declaration of Independence

Yeah that's fake news are you a reporter for CNN or just an old fag

>>734837541
It can only draw cocks. Perfect for a faggot like you. Now that will be $12.

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>>734838200

Mother fucker, is that a diner in Folsom PA?

Thanks to Milo old fag their

>>734837541
Sold

hot damn I wish I had a watermelon

>>734837541
Its a pen, just steal it