Hey /b/, being that I've hit rock bottom, I've planned

>>734543180

watch out for the dragon didlos.

dont choose a nice persons house

Every time somebody on /b/ says they're broke, i wonder how the fuck they got on the internet.

>>734543180
Thats like begging to get shot

>>734543248
This, I made sure to super glue dragon dildos on my ceiling just for the occasion. They are quite dangerous

>>734543180
break into getting a job dipshit.

dont get shot 37 times in the face and chest by someone who is 10x more prepared than you in an environment they are more familiar with, while the police are on their way to scrape up the pieces of your body with a snow shovel and charge your family for the cost of replacing said shovel.

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>>734543180
choose a niggers house and make sure to shoot him

>>734543180
i heard from a friend *cough cough* that the best way to break in is at around 11 AM on a week day and looking for a basement window or a 1st floor window. then to break in is to cover the whole window with duct tape and using your weapon of chose to smash the window. The window will not shatter as it will be stuck to the tape. take whatever looks expensive and look for ID's or credit/debit cards

>>734543483
lol its fucking daylight, why does he have a flashlight on?

>>734543180
don't hurt the women and only take what you absolutely need

be careful and good luck.
do not disgrace the persons abode or vandalise it too much.
leave a note saying sorry

Only break into a house in a state that is against guns. If not you will get shot dead by the home owner. Most people have at least one gun in the house.

>>734543329
Fucking this

Learn how to prioritize your bills faggots

Case the house for a while. Get down tendencies, when they leave, how many people live there, when they come home. Do they have any dogs? Possible guns? What are you planning on stealing? Do you plan on reselling the items? Any accomplices? Get away car? Plan of action if caught?

it takes 30 seconds to pry a deadbolt open, and the effective firing rate of a semi auto rifle like the ar 15 is about 90 rounds per minute. If the home owner is prepared, you will have approximately 45 holes in you before you get through the front door.

>>734543558
Don't leave anything. Why the fuck would you want to leave any additional evidence?

>>734543180
its best to do it at parties

>>734543329
A lot of places offer free wifi. Most coffee shops for example.

Find a house where a 7 year old girl is alone and then rape her

>>734543180
Good luck dying.

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>>734543713

>>734543329
They live with their parents

>>734543700

It's not impossible. There are public computers in libraries sometimes, but free wifi doesn't mean free computer.

>>734543470
thanks for that one

do not take your mask off. wear all black and gloves. be silent

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> when some sperg on the internet tries to rob a house in the most self defense emphasizing country in the world.

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>>734543180
Hope you live in Texas and get fucking shot, thieving cunt.

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>>734543621
thanks man, good shit. done this before?

>>734543180
hope you realize how many people own guns, the odds are not in your favor. think of somthing else...

>>734543807

any time chap

>>734543180
If you are serious then scope the place out for awhile before doing the hit. That way you know the typical schedules of the people living there. You probably won't find too much profit immediately, because you'll have to sit on anything stolen for awhile before selling it.

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>>734543248
This is a very good note!

I have a tip for you... come to my house. I'll put you beyond rock bottom. I can offer you either buck shot or slug, in 12ga or 20ga, or you can go out in style with an ancient 8ga beast...

Wear a shirt with a target on it to make it easier on the homeowner to get a kill shot. Livestream it.

>>734543671
If they can arm up, level a weapon, switch the safety to fire and pull the trigger in 30 seconds, yeah, you're fucked. If they have kids, chances are they don't keep loaded weapons just lying around. There's also invading a home when they're not home, which means all those loaded, ready weapons did fuckall except get stolen. Did you know that a person armed with a knife can typically rush at you and stab you before you can unholster your weapon, switch to fire aim and pull the trigger if they're 30 feet away?

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If anyone's interested, I'll be doing this tonight and can stream it. Any reccomended mobile streaming apps?

>>734544043
You sound like a pussy. I bet you don't even own a gun or lurk >>>/k/

>>734544043
Oh, and if none of those suit you, I can target practice on your for a while with an assortment of .22 pistols and rifles. Or you can choose to die by Dirty Harry gun...

rob from somewhere that you are familiar with. dont have to break into homes, in fact thats prob not the best idea. plenty out in public to take and then flip (for way less), but lot less risk

>>734544043
I find it funny how everyone thinks that they will have that opportunity. Unless you are dealing with nigs, a burglar won't break into your home while you are home.

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>>734543180
Stand still when you are caught, so I or someone else doesn't have to waste as much ammo.

>>734543940
Nope. Worked in corrections for a long time and learned a lot of shit from inmates.

If you plan to resell things you need stuff that isn't easily identafiable and doesn't have serial number. Don't resell on Facebook. Do not go to a big pawn shop.

You most likely won't find money in the home either.

Before you go out it's a good idea to this k about where people put things. Try to go for homes that are similar to yours or friends. Look at where they keep things of value. Think about where you hide things.

>>734543536
this is actually a good question
When you're breaking to house and nobody's home the lights are usually off. If you turn lights on people are going to know someones in the house so it's to use a flashlight around the house in case the owners come home so you can turn it off and slip away. Which comes to knowing when the person is or isn't home. Stalk their house to figure out what their work schedule is.

>>734544188
You're right, I don;t lurk /k/. Not a gun nut, but I do own ~10 firearms, mostly inherited from grandfather and my dad. I currently have 3 loaded shotguns in a corner about 2 feet from where I'm sitting... and 2 pistols in a drawer of a table maybe 5 feet away. Upon the first suspicious noise, I could be ready to fire within 3 or 4 seconds... Good luck rushing me that fast.

>hit rock bottom
>robs house
>gets shot
>bills for bullet wound v. high
>completely broke
>homeless
>criminal record for robbery
>depression
>suicide

Gl Hf

>>734543180
Breaking and entering is a lot more time in prison than selling weed.
You're welcome

>>734543797
Even if you are broke you can still own a tablet and use free WiFi

>>734543536
The flashlight is in the off position, what you mistook for light from the bulb is just a reflection from other light.

>>734544368

cringggeeee

44444 get?

>>734543180
make sure you leave a note that says:'' fire,walk with me'' to get on the news.

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>>734544187
Not joking about this

>>734544189
You're only a threat when you're home. Casing a house is easy, and sets you up for success. I can make a battery powered camera that will do that for me and it will cost about $60 and last all day. If I'm "running" twice a day I can drop it and pick it up when the coast is clear.

>>734543180
Dont do it you piece of shit.

>>734544270
I don't plan to ever get the opportunity, I was just telling OP to come to my house if he has hit rock bottom and wants to end it. I'd do it for him. Thieves are among the lowest scum.

how do i avoid becoming a bitch in prison?

>>734543180
Don't break into my house or you might get shot.

>>734544368
I am sure people are lining up to steal piss bottles crusty socks, and weeb body pillows. Make sure you stay on high alert.

clean yourself up. go hit on bitches at the grocery store in the rich part of town. steal her money by fucking her lonely ass.

>>734544506
not op but pls kill me
will steal if it makes you feel better about killing me

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>>734544537
Don't go to prison.

This is all you need to know, OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d-bM-Whsmk

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>>734544571
NAW!

>>734544612
i don't plan on going to prison or doing anything that warrants my arrest. just curious on what to do if the moment ever arises

>>734544537
Workout now and man the fuck up

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streaming it tonight

>>734544550
This is the reality. At least where I live. No one would hear your screams. Holes are already dug.

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>>734544688
Don't go to prison. It's the surefire way to not become someone's bitch in prison.

>>734543180
don't do it OP

not worth getting killed or maimed or spending the next 20 years in the slammer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykiSTkmt5-w

Check the mail, use the names to find homeowners social media, looks for posts about vacations, trips etc then plan around that

>>734544763
true. anyway, thanks anon

>>734544187
>>734544482
Dude, please stream it. That would be the most exciting thing I've seen in years. Please. What time?

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>>734544780
This all is all if you get caught, which I won't
Nice try, copper

>>734544390

Real answer.

Otherwise watch that show "It takes a thief" to get some tips.

But you also need to think about where you're going to go to sell all the shit you steal? Do you know any fences?

>>734544852
^^^^
give us time and link

>>734543180
Make sure it's not the house of a sexual predator

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>>734544852
Probably between 9 and 10 pm ET. any reccomended mobile stream apps?

>>734543329
I'm only replying to break the dubs combo you started

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>>734545000
Nice you broke it with a trips.

>>734544780

>yo dawg this is to my homie Nate
>He got dun did by doing the streets right
how did he die
>God damn dog eater popped his ass homes
>We wasn't even doing nuffin just taking some tv's n shit

Nig Nog Polliwog PoP PoP time to meet God

>>734545000
kek

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>>734545000

hot dam a fuckin get thread!

Is breaking and entering to get shot a viable method for suicide?

>>734544982
>>734544982
>Probably between 9 and 10 pm ET
This is great. Hey, try not to kill anybody, okay?

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>>734544921
Already planned it all out, just need a reliable streaming app. no anons better call the fuzz on me tho

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>>734543180

take a screwdriver and a shovel, a squaremouth shovel

most latch windows can be popped open with a shovel, most locks can be unscrewed, dont smash anything, dont hit anything.

nosy neighbors hear noises, repeat that phrase as you work, helps you focus on the task at hand.

Dont take jewellery unless you already have someone to sell it to, the trick is to already have the ability to offload anything you get on the same night you get it.
you DO NOT WANT to keep stolen goods, not even for a day or two.

GoPros etc are good, small expensive tech, not registered etc, those can be a quick sale, sometimes it might be worth your while to just steal shit like copper piping and arc furnace it yourself in a shed.

>>734545000
Kek wills it to be a get thread.

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>>734545303
I've been studying the place for days, and it seems the owners left for vacation. I'm not that dumb anon

Break into a Democrat's house they seldom have guns

>>734545360
Use periscope. The shit is stable as fuck.

>>734544982
Idk but I want to see it too

>>734545360
Anons calling you scum etc
You still think they won't report to the fuzz?

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>>734545693
>>734545741
Fantastic
Check back in 5-6 hours

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>>734543180
Dont do it.
How would you feel if you worked hard for years to buy a home for your family and fill it with wonderful things only for someone to break in and rifle through it all and steal it.
>Do you really want to make familys feel unsafe and destroyed when they come home?
>Do you want to have your head blown off/bashed in when you go into the wrong house?
>Do you wanna spend years in jail and ruin any opportunity at ever having a job/being trusted again?
>Whos going to want to know a branded proven thief?
Just think about it all and dont do it, things will get better eventually if you walk with god.
>tldr
Dont ruin your life and break anothers

>>734543329
Get

>>734543180
don't carry a gun, if you get caught you'll get in even more shit than if you just didn't take one. Also make sure the neighbors aren't watching from their house. Number 1 advice, don't do it in the first place. You'll make more money as a male camwhore.

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>>734545791
Not if they don't know my location

>>734545791
Only a faggot would if he's gonna be livestreaming it. OP's doing it for the boys now. Don't you want to watch this shit? It's gonna be interesting as fuck.

I would recommend OP not do anything violent because that shit would probably get reported.

>>734544406

A flash light is exactly a billion times more suspicious than just flipping on a light switch. If you are going robbing mid day it's probably best to leave that worthless shit in the car.

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>>734545836
Sugoi.

>>734543329
checkem

>>734543180
No one can track your fingerprints if they're not in a database, just make sure your face is completely covered

Anybody got any actual suggestions for quick money? Not OP btw

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>>734545932
This

>>734545999
>>734546011
checked

>>734545932
Fair point, it is interesting af. Wouldn't report it personally but some people probably would the second anything violent happens

>>734545966
>66
Trippy. Kek's here. He wants to see this, too.

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>>734545393
Well then I ain't fuckin' 'roun no mo

Remember to wear gloves and try to leave the house as neat as it was when you arrived

>>734543180
Wear gloves and a mask and do it after dark but make sure they are not home

>>734546057
>violent
I don't even wanna see that. I wanna see OP sneakin around and doing some lulzy shit. I'm living vicariously. Sounds like a blast.

>>734545360
i would definitely report u if u were living in my country.

also you're retarded if you plan on doing a crime and also helping the judges by providing flawless proof of what u did

>>734543329
if i reply here do i get dubs?

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Flashlight or just turn on lights?

Dont do it

>>734545836
i hope the thread doesn't 404

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Thomas_Knight
You should learn from this man how to do it.

>>734543180
Look for vinyl windows. The vinyl plastic is soft enough that you can push the entire window though the window frame lip without opening the window or breaking the window pane.
Don't bring a gun or a knife or any of that shit. Don't bring any tools. When you get caught those things just get you more charges.

>>734543180
I look forward to seeing your relatives cry about what a "good boy" you were on the evening news.

>>734543329
same digits in a row

>>734543940
I'm a cat burglar mothafucka that exactly how we dress on the regular ya feel me dawg ya? That tight as fuck man ya mailed it bro, fed ex up in this shit ya

>>734546223
Turn 'em on if they're not home. It'll be impossible for us to see otherwise, too.

wear gloves
wear dark clothing + mask
make sure the house is empty
make sure you arent seen
make sure you do it at night
don't use flashlights
don't even be seen on the street the house is on
avoid streetlights
stay in the shadows at all times

>>734546199
>mfw this dude barely englishes and still understands the magnitude of OP's stupidity.

>>734545860
faggot

>>734546011
Suck some dick. Recession proof business.

>>734546159
OP said the owners are on vacation so nothing will happen unless the neighbors notice. Just curious if OP pussies out infront of the house

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Bumb

>>734546223
Flashlight and OP, please wear a robber mask like your pic related. I'll fucking die.

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>>734543180
Hello fellow 4chan /random/ poster. I wish to know the location at which you will rob so we may split the loot.

>>734546220
C-c-c-combo breaker

>>734546286
dubs don't pay the bills son how new are you

>>734543180
Choose a house with elder people, they won't give you trouble and usually they save up and have valuables around.

First rule is you don't tell anyone ahead of time so it's to late for that. Also cut phone lines if they are old people because they probably don't have a cell phone

>>734546416
DO NOT USE A FLASHLIGHT

i almost got a felony during a burglary because of this, the neighbors saw lights bouncing around inside the house and called police and they were on scene within 5 minutes

>>734546347
>OP said the owners are on vacation so nothing will happen unless the neighbors notice.
Yeah, I'm actually going to be rooting for OP but he's in a house full of people's shit. The kind of funny antics that could ensue are limitless.

You're all fucking dumb. Rent a U-Haul, get a polo shirt and a fucking clipboard and a iron on some fake storage locker company logo on the back. Rob the place in broad daylight while they're on vacation or something.

>>734544168
You're an autistic disarmed faggot who has clearly never handled a weapon before. With some self defense training and practice, which is a common thing MOST ARMED CITIZENS DO you can draw and fire in easily under 3 seconds. With a decent amount of practice the average person could probably put a shot on target in 1.5

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>>734546347
I won't.

>>734543180
Scout the place first. Watch for a few nights to see when they get up for work, etc.

Also try and pic a house with the least occupants as less variables = less risk.

Good luck

>>734545999
Yeah but if they get a fingerprint they can put it in a database, which can fuck OP up later in life.

>>734546538
>>734546416
My bad. I actually meant no flashlight. No more daytime pot smoking for me.

>>734546395
Such a waste. Epic tits, but fucks like a dead fish.

>>734544015

How do you like it? I mean the ak-74 not the dildo?

>>734546543
inb4 OP fucking trips on something and breaks a lot of shit

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>>734546599
Already done this
>>734546543
Dude tf are you talking about

OP I suggest first getting a gun and then shooting yourself in the head, it's by far the best method to rob a house as they never expect it.