[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

You see this beast rushing towards you. What do you do?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 77
Thread images: 6

You see this beast rushing towards you. What do you do?
>>
>>734512008
wait for it to reach the end of it's chain, then flip kick it
>>
Pet him and question about the good boy
>>
Take off my shirt and throw it over his eyes and look for a rock or anything I can use to bash its head
>>
>>734512105
Plot twist: The image doesn't show it, but the chain was already broken off
>>
>>734512008
Shoot it asap
>>
>>734512008
Cuddle it and then let him eat me.
>>
>>734512008
befriend it
>>
>>734512008
pull down my pants, drop on all four and pat my rump a few times.
>>
>>734512008
Pet till i'm dead
>>
Tell him he's a good boy
>>
shit my pants then shoot it
>>
>>734512008
Bears can be scared away easily. Just stand tough and shout at them.
If that doesn't work lay on your back with a spear pointing up. Bears attacks by standing on the back legs and then fall on top of the pray.
>>
Level my mighty spear against it, wind up for a right-twisting hook stab, and step my back leg to the left and a bit forward as I deliver the blow. I expect to pierce its neck or shoulder and take my body mostly out of its path, then choke up my grip to rain more stabs on the beast, whether it's writhing on the ground or still on its feet.
>>
>>734512008
Bear killer
>>
>>734512008
Embrace death and think to myself "fucking finally".
>>
>>734512008
it wont be so big if you shaved it
>>
go away evil dogger
>>
Allow it to sniff my hand so that I may pet it.
>>
>>734512008
>Pull out .50cal Desert Eagle
>make cherry pie out of it's head
>>
>>734513062
>shaving a double coated dog
Whats wrong with you?
>>
>>734513430
If I shaved it, would it die?
>>
>>734513492
it would be extremely painful
>>
>>734512008
stand up, because it can clearly be seen that the dog is the size of a pekingese
>>
>>734513492
It's a Tibetian Mastiff Hound. They need the fur to surive the cold. It will probably die if you shave it unless you're in a warm place.
>>
>>734512008
Shit so hard in fear, it launches me away from the sheer pressure of fecal matter streaming from my butt. The beast would probably cringe from the shit vaper at the launch site.
>>
>>734513492
most of volume of that dog is fur just like you wet a fluffy cat it looks like chihuahua combined with satan
>>
>>734512008
Flop my dick out
>>
>>734512008
Invoke my knowledge of Chaos Theory and by sheer force of luck cause a massive asteroid to smash into it's head at light speed obliterating it and the entire planet.
>>
>>734512806
Do you let him do his thing or take a chance at putting him down while he's confused?
>>
>>734513036
It's a dog
>>
I've always been told the best thing to do when attacked by a dog is to grab it's front legs and force them apart causing it's shoulder blades to crush it's heart although I imagine it would be less effective against a large dog like that
>>
>>734512008
Groom it.
>>
>>734512008
Get on my hands and knee's and present my anus to it in the hopes that it would accept me as it's bitch rather than kill me
>>
Say "Nothing personnel, dog," and then teleport behind it. As it is confused, I slash it with my "Katana," which is Japanese for "Sword."
>>
>>734513577
>> chihuahua combined with satan
kektrue
>>
>>734512008
headshot then call the local chinese resturant.
>>
>>734512008
Go away evil dogger
>>
>>734512008
hug him
it's a sweet little dogger
>>
>>734512008

Wrap arm in t-shirt then ram arm down it's throat.
>>
>>734512008
step back since the chain will keep it from reaching me.
>>
>>734512008
pet him on the head because he is actualy one foot tall
>>
eat his ass and teach that faggot not to run at a me like that because I'm not a faggot. Then I'll fuck his dad for raising a faggot ass dog son, if he raised a fag then he is a fag.
This has been a scientific analysis from your local anon
>>
>>734512008
Prepare my mighty cock to bludgeon it to death.
I never tire of bludgeoning things to death with my mighty cock.
>>
Rub behind the ear and then proceed to rub its belly.
>>
>>734512468
No it wasn't
>>
>>734513646
Let him do it. you can't fight and win that thing. So use the shortest way to make friends with. be his bitch for a day. every day
>>
>>734512008
oh a puppy, give him hugs and pets
>>
File: fluffy.jpg (57KB, 720x540px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
fluffy.jpg
57KB, 720x540px
>>734512008
Meet my little friend "fluffy"
>>
>>734512008
give him a dog snack and scratch his chin, he looks like a good boy looking after his owner
>>
>>734512008
I run at it, as dog leaps towards my throat, i duck and spear that cunt to the ground, i the lock my arm under its front leg and clasp my other hand behind its head, i pin it down hard into the dirt and i fucking yell at the cunt to stop,

after a few moments of being pinned and submissed the dog will calm its shit dow and know who's boss after that i will fetch it some water, relax next to it and give it strokes.
>>
>>734512008
.357
>>
>>734512008
I say "sit Adolf" and he will follow because it's my own Do Khyi (tibetian mastiff).
>>
>>734512008
Just standing there saying fuck my life
>>
>>734512008
prepare for hugs and cuddles

DOGGIE!
>>
what kind of dog is this?
>>
>>734512008
Ride it and have the time of my life looking awesome.
>>
>>734514212
At best, it's a bear-dog
>>
>>734514223
That only works on squirrels
>>
>>734512008
blast it away with piss
>>
>>734513517
For you
>>
>>734512468
One chain link teleported behind you.
>>
Bring it to home.
>>
I would put that bear down with my bear hands. They act tough, but the trick is to uppercut the lowerpart of the jaw. He then will die of eternal bleeding from the tongue
>>
>>734512008
I'm american. I carry a gun.
>>
>>734512008
Bend over and let it do what has to be done.
>>
That bear is no match for me. One bullet to the brain and dead
>>
Wtf thats a big cat. some kind of tiger? Bengalian tiger/lion?
>>
Let sweet sweet death wash over me
>>
File: 1491123317865.jpg (25KB, 300x346px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1491123317865.jpg
25KB, 300x346px
I live in the UK, i wip out my spoon and give it a right fucken wallop thats what
>>
>>734512008
>>734512008
give the fluffy doge some pets
>>
Use my JuJitsu and choke him out.
(Dogs suck at MMA)
>>
>>734519688
Checked
>>734521538
>>734521439
not a bear


Also the breed it a Tibetan Mastiff
>>
>>734512008
Bend over
>>
> Pull out bag of chicken tendies
> Throw it at the beast
> Tame it with chicken tendies
>>
>>734512008
unzip my pants
Thread posts: 77
Thread images: 6



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.