Cow Fucker Anon here. Will tell stories if interested.

dont

>>733858055
Yes!

>>733858055
Does your dick smell like beef afterward?

don't you dare bring my mother into this

>>733858055
Greentext plox

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Do it cowfucker.

>>733858055
What other animals?

any videos or pics?

Yasssss tell us bump this shit

You ever do anything with the udders?

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>>733858055
Its rare to come across a cow fucker. I bet you've got a small dick, medium at best. Well done, You officially are a total embarrassment to your family.

>>733858055
interesting, i've only ever tried dog. i wonder how it compares

>>733858055
have you let the cow lick your dick?
What does it feel like?

Pics or it never fucking happened

Already told you my first time in the other thread, got the UTI, put me off cow pussy for about a month. Remember how good that nut felt.

>hot August day
>owner tells us we are doing a half day of fencing cuZ of the heat and a fucked up Bobcat
>he heads off with his family to go to pool (his house is a mile away from the farm)
>me and another farm hand (late 40's) stay back at the farm, crack a few beers and put out feed.
>start talking about nudie calendar on wall of milk house where we keep medicines and papers and stuff
>joking about jacking off to one of the bustier girls, looks like one of the mixed girls that works at the feed store.

Will continue, posting on phone

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>>733858657
>Only tried dog.

>>733858055
Eh. Cows aren't my thing. I'm more of a Horse / Zebra / Siberian Husky / Golden Retriever guy

Record yourself fucking the cow.
Or any animal desu

>>733858676
Probably feels like sex with a cow.

>>733858714
Continue

>>733858714
>farm hand put two and two together after I had the fire pisses
>13 year old girls aren't putting out in my town, so I either got a dirty dick from an animal or from one of the older lady lizards hangin around the church bar
>had pulled me aside a week or two earlier to call me out
>said I had to be smart and use condoms
Anyways
>still joking about the calendar girl and taking turns jerking off to her behind the silo
>he takes the calender off the wall tells me to follow him
>get in the truck and get the cow in the cattle run
>closes the gates on her, leaves the back gate open, hangs the calendar on the front gate.
>explains to me that he uses the cow like a fleshlight, fucks it while he looks at porn
>pulls out a condom, shows me how to get the cow excited, and make sure it shits before you square up.
>I've fingered a couple girls in town, but cows are different.

>>733858999
Sorry trips, I haven't lived on a farm for over 8 years.

>>733858145
/thread

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>>733858055
555r

>>733859308
>>fingered a couple girls in town, but cows are different.
top fucking kek

>>733858055
so Emperor what do you plan to do about the Skyrim Rebellion?

>>733858751
well more accurately, ive only been with dogs (besides my wife)

"tried" makes it sound like it was a one time deal, but i do it quite often. monday was the last time, might do it again sometime this weekend

>>733859308
>get cow wet, he lubes up, pumps for a few minutes, hnnnnng's, and pulls out
>tosses me a condom, I put it on and line up
>cow is into it now, tail is pulled to the side, hips are clenched
>I don't last more than a minute and a half before I fill up the condom.
>we open the gate, put the calendar back on the wall, and got drunk

This started a weekly tradition, we'd do it once ir twice a week. He lived on the property, and I had a shack there that I would stay in a few nights a week so I didn't have to go back to my moms house before work the next day.

>>733858676
The calves can give blowjobs, cuZ they suckle on udders. I prefer human woman blowjobs, feels better and less chance of losing your pecker.

>>733858809
im more of a squirrel guy

>>733859755
more

Green text takes to long

When I was about 15, I had had a lot of practice on the cows by that time.
But, girls are finally starting to put out more, start chatting with the girls at the feed store, church, etc.
I don't get into town as often as the kids that live there, but have decent success with the farmers daughters, etc.
mainly end up making out with girls, getting some handjobs, but girls think I'm pretty cool cuz I don't make a huge deal about blue balls.
My secret is, if I get blue balled, I end the date early, retreat back to my fortress of solitude and pump a load into Kelly (oldest cow stays in the stable by the cattle run)
Also helps to have a big pussy to practice fingering on, so not completely retarded when it comes to pleasing girls. If only they knew where these hands had beenZ

>>733860577
After a while, not getting any pussy from girls gets boring, start asking them if I can maybe put it in their rear hole.
Most of them are pretty disgusted by this, not a huge turn on.
I'm frustrated by this, start fixating on how to get that girl butt.
After awhile of pounding my sexual frustrations into Kelly, realize that she is a girl, and she has a butt...

>>733860836
My stamina is pretty good at this point, can pound away for about 15 min before I cum.
Since I'm getting bored, decide I'm gonna rubber up, ignore the shit, and fuck Kelly's ass.
At first, Kelly hates it, but I used a silicone lube, and then she doesn't give a fuck.
Hole is different than pussy, much tighter.
Cum in like two minutes from the tightness.
Minimal shit on condom, but enough to put me off anal except for special occasions.
Girls in town breathe a sigh of relief, thinking their rectal integrity is safe.

>>733860577
>fucks cows
>cant greentext
>gets dubs
>fucks cows

>>733859755
>cow is into it now

This will not hold up in court.

>>733861603
Look, in today's PC gone wild culture, we can't expand the parameters of rape. If the cow wanted me to stop, all she had to say was "No".

Touch the cow. Do it now.

>>733861850
Again, I don't live there anymore. I live like 40 miles from the nearest cow.

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>>733859308

>I've fingered a couple girls in town, but cows are different.

>>733861367
>>733861166
>Gets Dubs twice
> fucks more cows.

Start to go steady with a girl we will call Rachel
Lots of making out, fingering, handjobs
Says she wants to give me a blowjob but we have a hard time finding times and places
We used to hook up by the corn stove at her place, but she burned an ass cheek on it. Also, her dad hates me and chased me off his piece with a tire beater, threatened to put a load of rock salt in me if he caught me on his piece again.
Mom is always drunk or high, doesn't give a shit about me hooking up with girls at her place, but will probably scare Rachel off.
Decide to take her to my shack at the farm
Things go well, we drink a bottle of apple pie I made out of white lightning and cider
We fuck around the farm, she lives in town, thinks being around the animals is cool
Go by Kelly, drunken giggles from Rachel when the cow backs her pussy against the fence for me
"Wow Anon, she must really like you!"
Kek
Rachel leans into my ear and offers to do the same thing
Kelly just wing manned me with her cow puss
Got first blowjob and first human pussy in my shack on the farm
Come out afterwards while Rachel is asleep to pet Kelly and thank her.
She smells the sex on me and moves away from me
>jealous bitch.

>>733861166
is this it? I want more!

>>733859956
How many times did you lose your pecker to a calf?

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W-whats wrong anon-kun?
C-could you be craving my mcTitties?

>>733862828
0. Got real tight on corn whiskey with that same pig farmer, we wanted to show me how calls could give blowjobs
>sure, whatever
Let it suck me for a few minutes, didn't feel that good, pulled out and zipped up. Owner gave the calf a carrot, it crunched through that ducker with no effort. Never stuck my dick near it again.

>>733862781
What do you want to hear? I've barebacked cows, done anal with them, DP'd a cow, fucked horses, sheep.

>>733863208
>DP'd a cow
wut

>>733863208
You voted for Trump, didn't you?

>>733863208
double penis detected

>>733863208
Tell us about sheep?

>>733863506
It was lame, basically a stepladder and a face full of man ass. We both wanted to bareback the cow, neither wanted sloppy seconds, and we decided if we went at the same time, it would take like 10 min instead of 30 min with cleanup. So he mounted her ass, one foot on either side of her on a stepladder. I got her pussy. Basically fucked her while staring at another dudes balls and asshole. Lame.

I've typed up the story of almost getting caught twice, and both times my browser crashed. Fuck it, drop kiks, I'll do a kik group if you wanna hear that story.

>>733864192
kek, thx for sharing

>>733864302
Tell us about sheep

>>733863672
Even worse, didn't vote. His daughter Ivanka is hot though.

>>733864380
Sure. Those are the best pussies but harder to fuck. Have a kik?

>>733864513
Add me in the group : bta1619015

>>733859746
what kind of dog?

how do you get it going?

and tips/tricks?

>>733864380
>>733863871
Mostly meat farming around me, but the town had a lot of Swiss/German culture, so some sheep for the local Stube food. The owner raised a couple for specialty mutton etc. basically figured a sheep would be easier to control than a giant cow, but harder to fuck because they lived in between the farm and the owner's house. Me and the farmhand were up around the fire one night, had a couple drinks, discussed the possibility of fucking one of the sheep. We decided we would take his truck with the lights off to the sheep pen. We would take spotlights and rifles, and if the owner saw any movement, we could say we had seen some coyotes and we're waiting to shoot them.

>>733858145
fpbp

/thread

>>733858714
>mixed girls
get a life

>>733863028
kek

>>733864929
We came up the other side of the hill, killed the truck's engine and coasted down to the sheep pen. It was pretty hard to wrangle a sheep in the dark, but we did it and got it behind the truck. Basically, one dude held it down while the other one fucked it. Sheep are pretty tight, so you actually have to stroke them and get them horny before you stick it in. They are the most like human girls. The pussy was mind blowing. So wet and tight and it kind of gripped you and throbbed. If you could get a sheep pussy on a human girl, that would be heaven.

>>733858055
Do you think bestiality should be legal (>inb4 no, white men shouldn't fuck black "women")? Why or why not (maybe you have an argument/point to make based on your experience)?

>>733865024
One mixed girl in a town full of white people is noticeable. I'm a cow fucker and I still find you detestable.

>>733865357
>I'm a cow fucker and I still find you detestable
kek

>>733865293
Idk, I feel like it doesn't matter if it's legal or not. Anybody who likes to do it is gonna do it anyways. If you make it legal, that just means there is more exposure on mainstream porn sites, or some idiot tumblrina is gonna marry her cat and fuck it to death. Also, I don't want it to be legal for a guy to fuck a hamster to death or something, or people chasing down ducks in parks, or stealing people's dogs to fuck.

>>733862751
>jealous bitch

OP, you card.

>>733864853
german shepherd.

it's really not hard. you just need an intact dog. once you show them that sex feels good, most of them get really into it

>>733865590
>I feel like it doesn't matter if it's legal or not
It seems that whenever I hear this, it usually means "I think it should be legal (but I don't mind if it's not)"
Anyways, right on. You seem like a sane, level-headed person despite your extracurricular activities. Always good to know there are those with sense in groups often portrayed as senseless

>>733865781
no problem fitting into a tight dog pussy?

>>733865924
nope, dogs have similar sized cocks to us, so it's not much of an issue for larger breeds.
a lot of times you have to use lube though, since bitches can be kinda dry when you're first starting out. so either use lots of lube, or eat her out first

If you can wait, I can type out the time I got busted:

>>733858227
underrated post

>>733866468
go a head

>>733866516
>having makeup sex with Kelly
>I had called her stupid earlier that morning
>take off condom, gonna breed her
>see flash of windshield through cracks in her stall
>owner's truck coming up road
>fuuuuuuuuuck

>>733863208
>horses
Talk about them

>>733864398
There is a generalized belief that the people who voted for Trump all consort with farm animals. At least we now know that the reverse is not automatically true.

For what it's worth, Gore Vidal wrote "not voting at all makes the most sense". He had this theory that abstentionism in sufficient quantity should trigger a new Constitutional convention.

>>733866888
chek'd keep going

>>733866888
>hop off bucket, pull up overalls
>kick bucket in corner
>walkout as smooth as butter as owner gets out of truck
>waddup.jpg
>owner goes into milkhouse for papers and sodas he left behind
>comes back, asks me what's up with Kelly since he saw me coming out of her stall
>make up bullshit about we should make a vet appt, her eyes are fucked
>we go check out her eyes, owner agrees
>I walk weirdly in his way to block the sight of her pussy leaking grool

>>733866948
In my country if less than the 20% doesn't vote, there is a new election with new candidates. It has never happened tho.

>>733867209
>we go check out her eyes
she has lust in them or what? kek

>>733865924
It's been known to happen.
http://iwatchitfortheplot.romesilvanus.io/Zoo/Videos/Canine%20%C2%BB%20Dog%20%C2%BB%20Bitch%20and%20Men/

>>733867209
>make it ousside, think I'm safe
>he's about to get in his truck
>he stops, looks weirdly at me , kinda puzzled
>he looks around then shakes his head
>what's up boss?
>he chuckles "just getting old Anon"
>he pulls his truck around, leans out the window, winks and says "say hi to Rachel for me"
>have no clue what he means
>too agitated from his weird look to go finish with Kelly
>does he know?
>5 min later discover that bright blue condom is hanging out the side of my overalls
>suddenly it clicks
>owner thinks I was banging gf when he pulled up, thinks he interrupted and that I hid Rachel somewhere
>I Kek and go blow my load in Kelly.

>>733867220
>It has never happened
Not that anyone has admitted to, at least.

>>733867662
keked

The time I was rumored to be a cow fucker

>flirting with feed store girl
>ugly wigger townie kid rolls up on heelies (no, really)
>jealous that the qt is mirin
>starts to try to insult me
>calls me a dumb hick in front of the girl
>I ask him, because I'm a dumb hick, what the FUBU stands for on his clothes
>he spouts some shit about rappers or some such niggertry, it stands for For Us By Us
>who is us?
>"black people you hick!"
>son, when you are black, I will come tell you
>feed store girl laughs at this, I smirk
>wigger is pissed

>>733868249
You from Tyne and Wear?

>>733868249
just got to through reading this entire thread. Much enjoyed. Thanks Anon

>>733868249
>wigger goes red in the face
>asks me why I came into town off my farm
>don't I have cow shit to shovel?
>don't care what he says, my employer is responsible for a lot of money in a lot of folks pockets
>say goodbye to qt, done with wigger's shit
>say "see ya, shithead" to wigger
>he says "back to your herd, cowboy, you prolly fuck those cows"
>something in me snaps
>I push him on the ground, tell him to watch his damn mouth or I'll kick his teeth in
>wigger sees in my eyes that I'm not playing
>qt notices how upset I am
>things start to click for those present
>but my beautiful queen Kelly has been disrespected
>people notice how sensitive I am about being called a cow fucker

>>733868748
>queen Kelly
/b/ has a new candidate. Udders or it didn't happen.

>>733868748
but did you ever got caught?

>>733868748
>I leave feed store in a rage
>rumors start to go around town that I am a cow fucker
>people laugh and whisper
>qt eventually straightens out what went down and the rumors die
>damage has been done
>wigger continues to shout "cow fucker" at me from a distance
>one day see him riding a bike by the lumber yard
>I give him a tap with the truck, he flies over his handlebars
>I get out of the truck and ask wigger to call me a cow fucker
>having just learned a lesson, a slightly smarter wigger declines to insult me.
>I go back to the farm and fuck Kelly for comfort

>>733868980
This was around 10 years ago, before everyone has a smartphone, and 15 year old farmhands didn't have camera phones.

>>733869203
c o w f u c k e r

>>733865924
Trained my dog since a baby or tried shes not that big. Recently moved away so i dont know how she will be when i get back but i could get about an inch in before i stopped didnt wanna hurt her. she loves it tho always laps my cum up

>>733869432
I've grown Anon. I haven't touched an animal like that in years. I have a girlfriend, I live in the third most populous city in the States. And more importantly, your words cannot turn what Kelly and I had into something cheap and Tawdry.

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This thread seems interesting, I'll shack up here for a bit

Get new cow on farm, very little chemistry

>new breeder is added to the farm. >Kept in calf pen next to Kelly, just to acclimatize her
>name is Rosie
>younger and tighter than Kelly
>go to check her out with owner and farmhand
>upon seeing tight caow pucci, me and farmhand exchange looks
>dis gon be gud

>>733870557
Is there gonna be some


Beef?

>>733870557
>wait until nightfall
>farmhand comes out of his trailer, knocks on my shack
>we don't wanna scare Rosie with the cattle run
>decide to break her in in her pen
>we try one at a time, two at a time, everything we can think of, but nothing gets this cow horny
>keeps shying away, won't get wet
>45 minutes later, we are out of ideas, starting to get frustrated
>15 year old hormones are out of control
>I bareback Kelly while farmhand continues to try to stimulate Rosie
>bust a nut in old faithful
>farmhand finally gives up and slings a load into Kelly's pooper
>Rosie comes around after we are finished and won't stop sniffing Kelly's pussy

Fucking lesbians man.

>>733864513
Mine is J4c1nt0

somebody needs to screencap this amazing post about love to mother nature.

>>733871657
>BUUUUUUUUUUUMP

How would you rate cow pussy compared to sheep and horse and dog?

>>733871805
Sheep is best, cow pussy second, horse third, and I would never fuck a dog.

>>733871877
>cow>horse
why?

>>733871877
throw human into the mix please, i want to know if i'm wasting my time with female humans

>>733871877
At least you have standards!

>>733871953
Mostly availability. I've only fucked one horse, so maybe I got a dud.

>>733872081
>implying you actually get anything from women
anon you don't have to lie on here

>>733872081
Sheep is better than human pussywise. But keep in mind, you're not attracted to a sheep while you are fucking it, so you are picturing a human pussy while you fuck a sheep pussy.

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>>733872505
I just want to clarify, I never thought the my day would end by getting a pussy ranking, then being told sheep pussy is better than human pussy.
>Thank you for this

>P.S I'm not going to fuck a sheep

>>733872710
I've fucked more human pussy than sheep pussy. Better sex with humans obviously, but sheep pussy just feels better. Then again, maybe I just stumbled across the golden pussy sheep tribe, but look up sheep fucking testimonials. They'll tell you it's the bomb.

>>733872710
>I'm not going to fuck a sheep

More for me, normie faggot.

>>733872710
I, too, am thankful to learn that cows might experience orgasms. That point is not likely to be covered in the sexological literature anytime soon and yet its ramifications are significant.

>>733873089
golden sheep pussy tribe...
>someone please fucking save this and upload it on youtube or something

>>733873205
I hope that sheep goes to the cops and says you raped it

>>733873206
Caught me by surprise the first time. Seems superfluous, but I already knew that they ENJOYED being fucked, because they would ask for it. And if you have ever seen a bull or a steer mount a cow, you'll know that the cow doesn't seem particularly enthused. Never seen a cow present to a bull like they presented to me.

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>>733873415
whoa mr. cowfucker, leave some to the imagination huh? Not all of us can be cool cowfuckers like you, i wish all the cow babes would put their cow asses in my face.

Almost confessed my secret

>16
>at feed store talking to qt cashier
>make plans for her to sneak out and come to my shack
>interior, night, my love shack
>we are getting drunk and laughing
>truth or dare is getting good
>get her to flash me her cocoa nips
>gonna dare her to touch my cattle prod
>first, wanna warm her up with some dirty talk
>she picks truth
>I ask her what her deepest dirty desire is
>she's hesitant, but she says she wants to get ducked by a horse
>oh mah gaw

>>733873415
A couple of years ago, the state of Baja California made it a felony to copulate with an animal. That's part of their new "animal cruelty" law (which specifically permits bullfights and cockfights as being part of the "cultural patrimony"), and I have been wanting to challenge that law on the grounds that the animals do not consider sex to be cruelty. Of course, even human women can have orgasms while being raped, but females of any species rarely present themselves involuntarily.

>>733873731
>I furtively glance out into the night at Kelly's stall
>with such a dirty desire, surely I can be my truest self with this girl?
>h-have you...ever done it?
>she pauses and says no, she can't do that, it's dirty
>oh, yeah
>an awkward silence ensues
>she asks if I'm judging her
>"no, it's just..."
>I want to tell her, but she's a normie, she would never understand
>nevermind
>with copious flirting and drinks, I manage to salvage the evening
>smash her while she dirty talks about getting fucked by a stallion
>k
>not really into it, but excited to get my swirl on
>fuck her into the mattress and put her ass to sleep
>when I hear her start to snore softly, I creep into the night
>I give Kelly a goodnight kiss, and suddenly I don't feel so lonely
>at least she understands me.

>>733874274
That's fucking true love right there.

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This thread, what the fuck, someone screencap this fucking degeneracy.

>>733875391
>degeneracy
>not understanding a budding romance

You think you belong here son, but you don't.

this thread is turning into a classic real quick

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>>733875539
please... just... tell us more

In which I stray from my path

>at this point, I am fucking Kelly multiple times per week
>go through condoms like crazy
>resorting to maintaining Kelly's vaginal health and going bareback
>then, a new word enters my vocabulary when wagging my chin at the hardware store
>fleshlight
>up until this point, I had no idea that these existed
>a portable pussy?
>it can't feel good, it's made of plastic

>>733863084
yeah, well, if calves were in the habit of chomping off teats that would be a problem for the species.

Well OP? Did you ever set her up with one of the darm horses? I need to know if you and Kelly took them on a double date!

>>733875888
>I find prices online for $120 to $200
>this has to be amazing, don't people know that there are animals that you can fuck for free?
>find $80 basic fleshlight in state capital
>drive two hours to purchase it, lube, and a couple magazines and DVDs
>go back to my love shack, don't stop to kiss Kelly hello, lube it up and prepare for penetration
>slide my dick in and cannot believe the sensation
>it feels like a pussy!
>I had expected it to feel like a fifi towel wrapped around a condom
>it was incredible, you could control suction, wetness, tightness
>for weeks I fucked that thing like a caveman
>between my mattress, left handed, taped to a table
>a vagina that didn't have 1000 lbs of beef attached to it
>I swear, at the end of those weeks, if you threw that Porta-pussy at the wall, it would have shattered
>but eventually the spell wore off

>>733876331
We didn't have horses. She eventually started going steady with this guy who owned two mares, so I like to think that she found that connection. Who knows, I might be Eskimo brothers with Hidalgo or some shit.

>>733876349
>eventually I get tired of cleaning the fleshlight
>the lube smells bad and is expensive
>and there is the harsh coldness of it all
>no reaction, no warmth, just cold silicon
>I've been neglecting Kelly
>I scarcely acknowledge her as I start my days, barely glance at her as I go to bed at night

>>733867778
>Not that anyone has admitted to, at least.
are you implying that this could have happened and everyone in the country keeps it secret?

>>733876650
>she is distant to me now
>one day, I come to give her her feed
>she pauses as I walk away
>I stop and look at her as she stares at me
>then she backs up against the fence
>just when I get out, they pull me right back in

At that point in my life, it was starting to dawn on me that I might be a bit fucked up.

>>733861715
You mean "Noo"

>>733873731
>gonna dare her to touch my cattle prod

Kek

>>733876834
>It was starting to dawn on me that I might be a bit fucked up.
>Dawg...
>YOU JUST FUCKING REALIZED?

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>"At that point in my life, it was starting to dawn on me that I might be a bit fucked up."

Woah I got double dubs

>>733876945
Yeah, at that point I was telling myself that I was just fucking the cows cuZ I was red pilled as fuck. I was just doing it cuZ it's free pussy. But then I had a literal pussy in my pocket, yet still went back to fucking cows.

>>733877078
so excluding societal judgements would you say that's your preference?

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Posting in an epic thread.

>>733877078
Again, true love between a man and his cow. It's beautiful

>>733877078
it must have really hurt when it hit you. You have my sympathy, goodnight mate, have fun with your cow... thing

It might sound like I'm poking fun, but I actually really enjoy your story. Kinda sad about the part about where you start to stray from kelly

>>733877180
Naw, I'm into human women. I've talked to a therapist (a lot). It was just a weird association of sexual pleasure with an animal, multiplied by adolescent hormones. I know it seems like I was pretty attached to Kelly in the green texts, but that's mostly for comedic effect...mostly.

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>>733877400
to be fair you weave a great tale. Thanks for the laughs my guy, have a good day stranger

>>733877400
ive always been fascinated with the Id buried in most ppl's mind. I have a feeling ppl would be absolutely appalled at what they find if one theoretical day they were allowed to pursue any carnal desire they wished. Dont know the implications of that but its fascinated noneoftheless

>>733863028
hahahahha rofl

>>733877369
Thank you, I'm glad you can find joy in it.
Don't be too sad though, I came back with a vengeance. Smashed the back doors off her.

>>733858751
Shut up chink

>>733877801
Yeah, it's a fucked up feeling having to confront what you do when you are just doing what feels good.

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>>733858055
Aaayyyy I got your greentext faggot

>>733878014
Did you get my follow up post about how I got a UTI?

J'm excuse?

>>733878077
I don't have that saved soz

>>733871657
Do it

>>733878112
Damn. At least I don't have to retype my green text.

>>733871657
this

>>733878014
>Slut even did anal

OP, you are one funny, fucked up fucking fucker

>>733878314
You shoulda been in the thread with him and 60y/o dude who blew his 63 y/o brother. Was golden.

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>>733858055
i name thee McNuggie-Anon

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horse cock > cow pussy

Goodbye Kelly

>Kelly and I had reconnected, around the time that we added another breeder to the farm
>some of you will remember Rosie wasn't very responsive to me (fucking dyke) so my contact with her was limited
>enter the new girl, Jan
>she was brought in to replace Kelly, as Kelly was primarily set to be used to produce milk for the owner's family and the calves
>my attachment to Kelly hadn't faltered, I had fucked her for like 2 years at this point
>but, a new, willing puss was put in front of me, what was I to do?
>I started fucking Jan regularly instead of Kelly, as Kelly was usually surrounded by calves
>she didn't get jealous, or refuse me the odd quickie, but I swear I saw her looking at me as I pumped Jan.

>>733878688
Pretty hot

>>733878469
What did I miss? Just the highlights

>>733875391
This thread shall live on as
https://thebarchive.com/b/thread/733858055
because god is kind.

>>733858055
Will you marry her i mean look at dat ass

>>733876349
>fifi towel
You been in prison, son?

>>733878891
da real mvp

>>733878837
Old guy tells story about giving bro a bj. Everyone tells him to time stamp. Guy is old wtf. Then cow fucker comes along to shares his weirdest sexual story. Oldfag is giving everyone advise while cow fucker regales us with his teenage cow lust.

>>733876825
I was implying that governments over-report voting. What were you wanting to infer?

>>733878761
>still get with Kelly when the calves aren't mobbing her with milk
>but something is wrong
>Kelly isn't producing milk anymore
>it's like she has literally been sucked dry
>the vet is called after a few weeks of no milk. I stop fucking her because I know the vet is going to be inspecting her
>long story short, Kelly is sick
>inb4 AIDS
>the vet takes samples back to his office
>he calls the owner with the news
>Kelly is going to waste away and die
>it's a matter of months
>we have other cattle to feed and care for
>so the owner makes a decision.

mor pls

more plss

>>733878688
Catherine the Great liked that.

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>>733879189
shit just got real

>>733879189
Shit...sorry /b/ro

>>733878761
How did you feel when one of your cowfriends was sent to the slaughterhouse?

>>733879189
>after a quick talk with the owner, I have a task to carry out
>I grab my Mossberg out of my shack and load Kelly into the transport
>we go to the edge of a soy field, looking down on a swath of trees surrounded by sawgrass
>there is a big weeping willow that spans out over this little island of green
>it's peaceful and quiet
>the fall air is crisp and cool

>>733879466
Steers are used for meat, not cows.

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>>733859745
I'm gonna suck ulfrics dick off

>>733859745

underrated post

>>733858676
Oh dog no. Have you ever been licked by a cow? It's like sandpaper.

>>733879534
I'm actually getting weepy here bro

>>733879534
inb4 cow snuff porn

>>733879534
>I roped Kelly and led her under the willow, feeding her sugar cubes and carrots
>I tied her to a sapling right in the shade, in a little clearing
>I tied the rope tight so she couldn't move her head much, and placed a pile of sugar cubes on the ground so she could eat as much as she liked
>I felt sad, I felt angry, but it felt fitting that I should close this chapter
>I knew I was doing the right thing, and I knew that I was the one that had to do it
>I racked in one of my 000 3in rounds and aimed behind her ear
>I didn't flinch when the trigger broke
>I didn't blink when the round went off
>30 minute later I climbed out of the trees and up the hill with my gun, my rope, and my shovel
>I looked down at the willow tree in the brisk fall air, and the sky seemed a bit cloudier
>but quiet
>peaceful

Goodbye Kelly

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>>733879534
ah fuck...

>>733880047
goddammit i was here to kek at some degeneracy and now I have a ticket on the feelstrain

>>733880047
>>733880047

Wow...that's really sad. Up until this point your story was kinda beautiful in its own way. You're an amazing storyteller, I hope you share this tale again someday.

I have one question...

Did you ever cry?

>>733880360
Tru bro
I might actually fucking cry man

Someone needs to screen cap all this shit

FUKIN RIP KELLY

>>733880498

see

>>733878891

>>733880396
I got a little misty on the drive back, maybe a blub when I woke up the next morning and didn't see Kelly out there.

I know it's been kind of a joke that Kelly was my gf or whatever, but jokes aside, when you spend a lot of time with an animal, you develop an attachment. They can't speak to you or converse with you, so sheer proximity becomes an almost spiritual connection.

>>733870181
Thanks anon, you brought tears to my eyes.

>>733880047
I come in for the story of a backwards ass cattle rapist, turns out he's fucking Nicholas Sparks with a tender heart.

Fuck me, this is a great thread.

>>733880818
This

>>733880818
pretty much this

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Tell me this has been screencapped, I was disgusted, interested, and made to feel....this thread was one for the record.

>>733880047
Fucking hell now im starting to tear up theres alot of dust here haha

Damn the feels train is leaving the station

It's been 2 weeks since I put Kelly down. I went back to her grave to check for coyote prints and to leave a wooden cross the owners kids have made with her name. I'm surprised at the hurt I feel walking into and out of the trees.

>I begin to take comfort in Jan
>slowly, I fuck her less, and care for her more
>I top off her feed twice daily, instead of dumping it all in at once
>I bring her fresh hay
>she does the majority of the milking now that Kelly is gone, so I want her to be comfortable
>I begin dating a hair stylist off and on
>I bring her by to meet Jan
>Jan seems to like her, and I tell my gf, Erika
>Erika thinks it's funny how attached I am to Jan
>bitchyoudontknowthehalfofit.joh

>>733880047
welcome to zoophilia. most people only have to deal with their partner dying once, if ever. for zoos, it's a lot more often.

>>733881260
>I milk Jan and make cream, and then butter from the milk
>I use it to bake for Erika at her cozy little apt.
>we laugh and say "thank you Jan"
>my mom comes out of jail and comes to visit me at work
>I introduce her to Jan and I take a picture on a Funsaver of her riding Jan
>she puts it up on her refrigerator
>I'm happy
>is this what it is like to be normal?

I feel like an eager housewife watching a soap. Only its about cows...and im on the internet...on a friday

>>733881659
>I have sex with Erika all the time
>I have sex with Jan NONE of the time
>I start to be repulsed by the idea of fucking a cow
>Erika is happy and fulfilled, Jan is fat and content, and my dick smells normal
>howbowdah.deadmeme
>one day, owner takes off early, it's too hot to work
>I decide to take a shower and surprise Erika by taking her to the next town for dinner
>as I start to leave, farmhand asks me to help him put Jan in the cattle run
>what for?
>doc is coming to do injections
>I tell him not to let the doc do anything without the owner present
>"man, I'm just trying to get some pussy"
>I tell him to hire a lizard at the church bar
>"fuck you, I'll take her in the pen"

>>733882312

inb4 cow cuck porn!

>>733882312
>"farmhand, don't you touch that animal"
>he is confused why I won't let him fuck Jan
>thinks I'm making a joke
>laughs and walks towards Jan
>I go into my shack and unload my Mossberg
>I come out and come to the side of Jan's pen
>I work the action loudly
>farmhand freezes
>"N-now Anon...no need for that now"
>"Farmhand, I got a pote of rock whiskey in my blood and a shotgun in my hands. When I tell you to lay off that animal, you fuckin do as I say"
>I watch him pull up his pants and leave
>I lock up my shotgun, retrieve a .380 and tuck it in my pants in case he wants some revenge
>as I walk to my truck, I swear Jan winks at me

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>>733858055

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>>733880059

>>733861603
kek

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>Be me
>be in fucking Oklahoma
>end up fucking 7-11 whore off 23rd
>one normal titty, one dwarf, retard lump of shit titty...

Fucked a cow in OKC

>>733882784
MOAR!!!

>>733858055
Most fucked up version of "Stardew Valley" ever.

>>733870181
Does she know?

>>733882784
I'm going to buy two full-size female goats next month for some sweet loving.

Any advice for a future goat fucker?

>>733883851
Ask your imam, he should have some good advice for you.

>>733883851
Spend money on hookers instead.

>>733882784
>Jan is fat and happy
>Jan is pregnant
>"oh boy hope it isn't mine"
>haha jk
>...
Anyways
>farmhand is pretty pissed I pulled a gun on him
>he says I'm crazy, I used to fuck Kelly all the time
>I tell him that that is over
>tell him to fuck Rosie
>leave Jan alone
>he calls me crazy and shakes his head
>but I can see in the lines of his face, In his graying moustache, in his tired eyes, that he understands
>that 40 years ago, it could have been him with the gun
>he agrees to stay away from Jan
>Jan gives birth, another girl
>the owner eats lunch with us and asks us what he should name it
>I look around the truck bed and can see that we are all in agreement
>farmhand and I nod
>"okay, I guess we'll name her Kelly"

>>733883764
A very amended version. She is aware that I have participated in an unofficial coming of age ritual in my region. She is aware I ducked a cow more than once as a kid.

>>733884016
Hookers cost too much to let me suck their teats all day. Also they have diseases and probably won't do bareback.

>>733883952
zozzle

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WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

>>733858055
What's the matter, did all the human girls reject you?

>>733858055
Damn good thread. Didnt expect these feels this early. Thanks.

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OP, you are one sick puppy. You just made my day, cowfucker.

>>733861603
It would in finland. It's legal in finland to fuck animals as long as theres no sign that you hurt them. Source: am a finn

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kek