Gay stories thread Tell me your gayest moments Pic unrelated

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Tripped and fell dick first into my buddy's ass. The gay part was when we started going to hammer town inside one another. We've been going at it on and off ever since. I'm gay tho.

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When i was like 11, me and some of my mates decided to watch some hentai with Batman and Wonder Woman. Everyone busted some nuts and showed eachother.

Sucked off a tranny over seas though her crazy room mate was next door with a 12" metal spike and a craY german sheoard that looked like it was on speed it was a crazy night

>>733725451
>>733725896
#can'trelate so this is why I don't touch women. but canna nigga get some more guy fieri up in this biotch

>>733726153
Jesus died, his teachings didn't.

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>>733725012
I've been in a monogamous relationship with another guy for 13 years. That gay enough?

Keep this thread going, typing out a greentext

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>>733726533
Got u /b/ro

>>733725012
I wish. That guy is such a fucking try hard POS.

>came out to my gay friend first
>2 weeks later, at a party
>3 am, everyone is leaving or sleeping over
>we sleep in the same bed
>both very drunk
>he had been dumped not even a month before that
>i was completely virgin, never touched anyone sexually before.
>without saying a thing, we both know what we want.
>literally shaking at the idea
>stress and fear
>put hand on his underwear, shaking stops
>start taking off his underwear and rubbing his dick against mine
>suck him for a good 15 minutes
>starts sucking me in return
>all that drinking starts coming back
>need to piss
>go to bathroom
>come back, instantly fall asleep

no one came

Nice first experience still though

>>733728004
btw I'm not >>733726533

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>Be 9, friend is 10
>Both excited to watch the premiere Cartoon Network movie Reanimated
>Movie about some faggot kid who gets hit by a train and gets a brain transplant
>Faggot kid gets cartoonist's brain and starts to see his cartoons
>Two gophers meant to be a parallel of Mickey and Minnie
>During commercial break my friend looks at me and asks what if they had sex
>We both laugh about it
>Commercial goes on for a little long
>"What if we had sex?"
>We both proceed to flop out our floppy pre-pubescent dicks
>Slap them together, he's on top of me
>We thought that was sex
>Keep smacking our dicks until the movie comes back on
>Put pants back on
>Never speak of it again

We're still best friends

>>733729124
what
the
actual
fuck

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Actual true story.
Anonymous Wed 01 Mar 2017 23:44:52 No.724100287
Quoted By: >>724100490
>be 18
>assistant coach to swim team
>I basically work with the kids who are beyond terrible.
>this year theres is one kid who doesn't know how to swim at all.
>yes, this actually happens, there is usually one every other year.
>have to get in and teach him basic swim techniques-- how to breath properly, kicking, how to float better.
>at this point in my life ive never thought about a male sexually, but looking back now he was one of the cutest boys ive seen.
>his body was almost exactly like pic related, pale as a ghost, no muscle definition at all, medium length brown/black hair.
>I just think hes an annoying kid (why tf are you doing swim team if you cant swim?)
>after feeling like Ive wasted my time with him for over an hour I ask
>"Can I ask.. why are you here yknow"
>"what"
>"why are you doing swim team if you cant fuckin swim"
>he kind of laughs
>Im just staring at him
>that awkward moment when he didnt realize I expected and answer, and I didn't really care that much but now it seems like Im grilling him.
>"umm"
>he has big green eyes with dark eyelashes, and his goggle rings bring attention to them like red eye shadow. I notice because they are kind of darting nervously over to the other kids across the pool and back to me
>feel like I might have insulted him for asking.
>I laugh and say "Im just kidding I dont really care swim teams easy"
>as I move forward a bit in a "lets get back to it" kind of way, he lightly jerks towards me and brushes his hand along my speedo.

>>733729273
This

>>733730509
feel like this needs cont.

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>>733730509
>>733730830
>the touch didn't immediately shock me because people brush up against each other all the time in practice, but I turned around and saw him starring directly at me with kind of fearful determination on his face.
>my face slowly goes from a laughing "that was awkward" to being completely frozen
>this kid just reached for my dick
>literally do not even know what do to or say.
>just starring at him with utter confusion for what feels like minutes
>finally he says "im so sorry"
>"Oh its okay.... no.." I'm a nice guy so my dudmbfounded brain is trying to not make him feel bad while also saying "NO ABSOLUTELY NOT"
>"I'm not.. you know"
>"I know I'm sorry"
>I'm not socially retarded so I immediately try to lighten the mood/situation.
>"But I mean there are guys on the team here who totally would dont even get me wrong"
>he kind of cracks a smile
>"yea dude, you got those eyes"
>he laughs, still awkward but I relax too.
>"and that pale skin, there are guys who wouldnt think twice man trust me"
>he snicker and looks at me, and ever so slightly biting his lip.
>behind my joking his look sends a lightning bolt straight to my dick.

Gayest? Umm, I once fucked a chick with short hair

Oh, and another time I fucked this woman with small tits.

Does that count?

I sucked my brother's dick. At the time, I was 60 and he was 66. First time in our lives we've done anything like that. One time, about 15 years ago, we and our wives hopped in bed together and we fucked each other's wives, but no gay shit.

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>>733731688
More¡!

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>>733734091
>>733731688
>everything about this situation now has my brain going a million miles and hour.
>I quickly look away over at the team. I'm in a mental complete confusion, the kind where your not even thinking of anything it just feels like your face is red and theres a brick of lead in your skull.
>I notice everyone else on the team is already heading for the showers, which sort of snaps me back
>"oh shit practice is over haha"
>"oh yea.."
>make very cringy small talk as we walk across the pool to get out.
>I get out, give him a hand getting out.
>I see his body for the first time in full view
>he is completely hairless from head to toe, and his narrow shoulders make his hips look wide like a girls, which almost forced my attention. He didn't have a big butt by any means but it had a round shape to it that gave him a notice thigh gap, which I literally could not take my eyes away from.
>he walked in front of me to the locker room and I spent the whole walk just mesmerized by everything about him
>maybe it was the fact that he made an advance on me that was making my mind irreversibly link him to sex.
>his shoulders and were without any muscle at all, his legs were skinny, pale as milk and as smooth as Id imagine it possible for any human to be
>I had never thought sexually about a man before and I was eyeing every inch of this freshman boys body
>we got to the showers and almost everybody was already done and getting changed.

>>733733166
supergay

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>>733734385
Whaaa this is cute

>>733734385
Continue boi

>>733734385
>>733735294
This

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>>733734385
>get in shower
>talk with some of the other kids on the team, some I'm sort of friends with
>literally just thinking about this kid the whole time
>keep an eye on him at all times, just like you do when your crush is in the same room as you.
>watching him shower I legitimately had to focus my brain to stop from getting a noticeable chub in my speedo
>arching his back in the water, rubbing shampoo and soap on his body, speedo covering barely anything at all. every time I looked at him it was like he moved in slow motion.
>pretty soon it was just me, the kid, and one other kid.
>purposefully take forever showering in hopes it can be just me and the kid in here.
>pray to god he wont leave before me.
>decide to make more small talk to hopefully keep him here.
>"so.."
>he looks up at me, his big dark eyelashed green eyes making my heart pound in my chest.
>"what was your name again?"
>"Jason", smiling at me
>"ohhh thats right, thats right"
>a little silence...
>"I know your name its ___" (fuck you im not saying my name)
>"hahaha well shit now I feel bad for forgetting"
>he laughs
>the other kid leaves the showers and my heart starts pounding fucking hard. I don't know what I expected to happen but again it was like being alone in a room with your crush.
>we both shower silently and my vision is glued straight to his body
>I quickly dart my eyes away when he turns around at least 3 or 4 times.
>I'm sure he noticed
>start to feel nervous/scared/kind of gross
>"you checking out my pale skin" he says rubbing his body up and down with extreme exaggeration
>holy shit. hes so fucking cute. his taunting sent probably a gallon of blood to my dick.
>I laugh harder than was natural and go "yeaaaa" jokingly and turn away towards the wall, but also try to still be facing him because it would be incredibly weird if I just do a straight up 180 face away from the only other person in here.
>I know my dick is noticeably hard because it hurts like a motherfucker in my speedo.

>>733735875
Getting good boi, keep it up

>>733735875
HOT

F5

>>733735875
Hard

>>733735875
>tfw you stumble on an amazing greentext in a shitty ass thread
Don't stop

>>733730509
I remember this one, holy shit its so good

Fapped to a trap thread once.

>>733736545
>>733736432
>>733736352
>>733736286
>>733736119
>>733736296
>>733735993
You heard them >>733735875 , damn good story.

>>733735875
>look over at him
>swear I see his eyes come up quickly from my crotch area
>he just smiles and turns into his shower
>we've both been in here for wayyyy longer than any normal person would take
>my mind goes to that nervous blank out state again where I don't even know how to think in this situation let alone act
>"Jake"
>"anon"
>heart pounding, face blood red, dick now limp in nervousness
>"why--um, why did you.. do that in the pool?"
>a giant grin goes on his face
>I'm so confused I dont even know who I am anymore
>"I mean, its okay you shouldnt feel bad I dont care"
>Just saying random shit to try and back peddle/make it seem like an honest question
>hes not smiling anymore
>gibberish just pouring out of my mouth
>even though I'm looking right at him my mind is so clouded and spinning I barely even notice him walk up to me
>My voice trails out
>hes standing directly in front of me
>my dick tightens right up against my speedo again.
>hes just staring in my eyes
>Im completely speechless, frozen by his eyes
>"you mean, whyd I do-- this?”

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Dear OP

Shorter segments post what you got.

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>>733737208

>>733737208
Cont
In
Ue
Nig
Get

>>733737648
Ger*

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>>733737208

Okay.
So my friend and I would watch porn and he and I would get noticably hard. Things escalated from there.

>Walk into his closet and shut door
>Lay down on my back and start stroking
>He opens up the door, curious about what I was doing
>He strips off his shorts, his dick hard as stone
We were both early teens at this time and had no idea what we were doing

>He sits down on my cock, basically hotdogging his asscrack
>I said it hurt and he got off
>Tell him to lay on the bed, on his back
>The porn we watched the guy spit on his dick, and that's just what I did
>He holds his legs while I position my cock right at his hole
>At first nothing was happening
>Push harder and my head slips in, he gasps
>Eventually get dick all the way in
>Start thrusting, he grunts every time my balls slap his ass
>His small cock dripping precum like crazy
>3 mins later, he cums all over his belly and chest
>Asshole pulsing and squeezing my dick
>I explode, I couldn't stop thrusting
>Pulling out, cum starts to ooze, and I have some shit on my dick

The end.

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>>733737208
>>724105754
>he puts his hand directly on my dick
>I flinch and let out a huge breath of air I didn't even realize I was holding.
>through my breaths--"youre so cute.."
>my dick in so much pain, feels like It's going to rip through my speedo or break trying.
>he starts rubbing me through my speedo
>I'm literally trembling
>through a giant smile--"I thought you said.. you weren't.."
>"youre so cute..."
>he laughs
>hes practically glowing with excitement and satisfaction in what hes doing to me
>confusion fading now and becoming replaced with pupil dilating lust.
>I grab his hand from my dick, pull him into me and kiss him directly on the lips with great force.
>Pull away and he looks stunned, those gorgeous eyes looking up at me, lips slightly parted. His lithe, milky body pelted and dripping with water, all like something out of a wonderful, wonderful dream.
>grabbing his arm--"come with me”

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>>733738095
More more!!!

>>733738094
>see greentext
>get excited for next part of the story
>different anon
FUCK

>>733737208
>Jason
>Jake
Fucked anon this shit fake.

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>>733738343

>>733738529
Shit I didn't even notice. Fake story detected 6

>>733738712
Still good though. Old story was probably finished at part 3

>>733738095
More.

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bump god damn you

>>733739241
Agreed

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>>733739241
Ohgod this thread can't die

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bump

>>733738095
Please post more >A<

>>733738529
>>733738712
My name is Jason you fuck. Yea the double J name fucked me. Still real fucker.

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>>733738529
>I look around the corner of the showers
>there are still people over by the lockers
>I let go of him and motion for him to follow me
>not wasting any time I step out and walk as casually as I can the opposite direction of the lockers, trying to find anywhere we can go
>my head is pounding, and my dick remains unchanged in fighting my speedo.
>finally, I find a bathroom in the back of the building I didn't even know existed before this point its so out of the way of all the lockers.
>I open the door. Its a single bathroom. With a lock.
>My heart and dick are about to explode
>We basically have a little hoten room. This is really going to fucking happen right now
>In one swift motion I pull him in, slam the door, lock it, push him down on the toilet seat, and pull out my cock.
>He seemed to be just as speechless as I was, but his eyes, darting up to mine then down at my cock, look like they are burning small fires.
>my cock is the hardest it has ever been in my life, and feels like It just might rip through my skin.
>he reaches out, hesitates, then grabs my shaft.
>I let out a quivering, moaning exhale.
>he starts pumping me.
>"jesus fucking christ..."
>"your really hard.."
>"I've never been so turned on in my life"
>"you think I'm cute?"
>"cuter than any girl I've ever met"
>he starts pumping harder
>"holy f-f-uck..."
>"you want to cum on my 'pale skin' don't you?"
>"fu---ck...m-e.."
>he pumps harder
>"What was that?"
>"I'm gonna fucking cum"
>He lunges forward and puts mouth around my cock, pushing his head down as far as he could go.
>I practically scream. I feel my entire body pulse into my dick and explode the largest shot of cum I have ever felt straight down his throat.
>He pulls back of my dick, stroking me with fury.
>I cum shot after shot after shot onto his supple pink lips and big lustful eyes.
>Completely blacked out in pleasure
>when I finally open my eyes I see his whole body has been covered in cum, from head to thighs, and I'm still hard.

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>>733739798

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>>733739798
What happened next ????

>>733739798
Sweet jesus yes

>>733740114
Now all the waiting all over again...

>>733740211
stay
calm
and
best
thread

>>733725012
I jerk guys off for 50 bucks.
Make anywhere between 100-500 a day

>>733725012
sucked a trap's dick. really enjoyed the fucking, but that was gay. gayer than fucking a dude, which I also did once

>>733740114
This

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>>733739798
>what a fucking sight it was.
>he stands up, wiping the cum from his eyes and mouth.
>I'm still slightly paralyzed
>He looks down at himself: cum covers every inch of his chest and stomach, dripping down over the hard cock in his speedo and down his baby smooth legs. Seeing such a young, flawlessly childlike figure drenched in my semen is an image I will never, ever forget.
>laughing--"ANON!"
>still out of breath--"what did you do to me..."
>"what did YOU do to ME"
>smiling like a madman, clearly overjoyed with how much he pleasured a guy like me, takes off his speedo and puts it in the bathroom sink and starts washing it and his face.
>"I didn't think it was possible to cum so much"
>I don't say anything. My eyes and brain are locked onto his now fully naked body.
>his cock is beyond adorable. No more than 4 inches erect, stands straight up and is just as ghostly white as the rest of his skin, his small, hairless balls held tight to the base.
>not a hair can be spotted.
>as he washes the cum out of his speedo his butt shakes with the movement of his arms.
>unrestrained by his tight speedo, his ass looks even better than I thought it did. Skinny and firm, but a plump roundness giving him small girl like hips. His skinny legs adding to this the mindnumbing thighgap that held my gaze earlier, this time with his little round balls peaking out from below.
>My cock has not lost even a bit of erection.
>"so Jake..."
>he turns around, his smile, it seems, now permanently etched into his face.
>"yea?"
>"what do you want to do next?”

>>733741078
MORE

F5F5F55555555FFFFFFF5555555AAAAAAA

>>733741078
Come on you fucking faggot. Give us some more so I can bust a nut

>>733741078

This is fucking torture... Just fapped half an hour ago, and you got me dribbling precum like crazy again...

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>>733741078
>tapping the counter-- "idk..."
>we just stare at each other for a moment.
>very briefly I think about the fact that this is a boy, a very, very young boy and that everything about this is wrong. But I look up then to see him bite his lip just like he did in the pool when he first cracked my defenses.
>this time, though, he's standing fully naked and erect in front of me, dripping in my cum.
>I cannot control myself.
>I cannot fucking control myself
>I take two swift steps foward, grab him by the shoulders and kiss him.
>I kiss him hard, and he kisses back.
>I don't even know where I want my hands. I rub his entire body, spreading my cum over his smooth belly and down to his cock, which I cover entirely with just one enclosed hand, making him begin letting breathy moans escape between our mouths.
>I kiss him more passionately than I have ever kissed a girl.
>I bathed in the cloud of his breath and pleasurous moans. I felt his cock twitch in my hand and his lips quiver against mine.
>I reached my hand back behind him and grabbed a handful of his ass with force. It was small and fit into my hand easily. Smooth like porcelain, soft like velvet, I massaged and groped, then, I slipped my fingers between his cheeks.
>breaking out of the kiss he moaned like an animal in heat as I kissed his neck and rubbed the smooth, tight entrance of his hole.
>the outside of his hole was as hot as a furnace and just rubbing it made my whole body start moving and shaking, pumping my unfathomably stiff cock into his stomach and hands.
>"Anon.. uh--uh...mmmnn"
>"You are so sexy... You are so cute.... You are so fucking sexy"
>he was breathing now like he just ran a mile, pushing his ass back against my hand, wrapping both hand tightly around my body, squeezing, moaning. Then he turned around.

>>733741078
COME OOOOOON FUCK?S SAKEEEEEEE

>>733741918
MOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEE

I'm scared of this thread dying and never hearing the end of this story :(

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>>733741918
Somebody fucking screencap this

>>733742181

Already on it, mane

>>733741918
Bamp

>>733741918
Need more to prove I'm not gay.... keep going, almost about ready to cum... to.. umm the ad below this

>>733742774
Kek

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>>733741918
>he leans on the counter, standing on his tip toes, rubbing his ass up and down the shaft of my cock.
>"anon..."
>I'm frozen. something about seeing a young, hairless boy ACHING for your cock to fuck him... It cant be described. The way he pressed and rubbed his ass into me showed a level of eager lust I didn't think existed outside of porn.
"anon.. I want you, I..want....y---" words were replaced by his ass pushing into me harder and faster, letting out moans as if I were already fucking him.
>I knew I couldn't go in dry, and unable to wait any longer, I jump down to my knees and spread his cheeks wide open.
>"ahh! oh.."
>his hole was perfectly pink, almost the exact same color as his pastel skin. His tight balls and cock hanging stiff below.
>"does it look good anon?"
>"shut up.."
>he knows how good it looks the fucking hypnotist...
>I shove my face into his ass
>"OH fuck!"
>mind you, I have never eaten ass before, so I was surprised by how good it actually tasted. It tasted like soap mixed with his sweat and a little chlorine.
>but the taste was hardly on my mind. Feeling how tight and warm his hole actually was made my mind go completely white.
>This was Jake's asshole, this cute little boy's asshole, desperate to engulf my cock.
>No fucking more.
>I stood up and brought my cock to his entrance. My cock, somehow even more erect than it was earlier, actually hurt just aiming it down at his hole.
>"please...." barely audible between his breathes
>my heart is trying to break out of my chest
>pounding so loud I felt like it could burst any moment
>I push. The warmth against my tip felt like it could bring me to orgasm by itself. I push harder.
>"AHHH STOP!"
>"did that hurt? are you okay?"
>"yea just... stop for a second"
>It didnt even feel like my tip passed the entrance, and his whole body is shaking with his head in his arms. I knew this wasn't going to work.
>Then,
>"Wait right here dont even move. Just wait right here. I got an idea.”

this has been a beautiful experience

>>733743102
Don't stop

When I was 15, my bud put his dick in me haha he's such a wild card. No homo tho.

>>733743102
>
pls

>>733743102
DON'T EVER STOP OP, DON'T YOU DAREEE

>>733743793
9/11

>>733743793
Shhh, we're reading the fucking amazing greentext currently happening...

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>>733743102
>moving faster than I have for anything I pulled up my speedo and ran outside.
>my cock was tucked up by the waistband and it was so hard that my tight speedo couldnt even press it to me stomach.
>I ran through the locker with an enormous erection out in the open and I dont even care if anyone sees. (luckily nobody did, or at least I didn't see anyone).
>I made it to the showers and found what I was looking for: my conditioner.
>I use this conditioner to jack off furiously every morning, and it never burns or irritates.
>I figure its worth a shot.
>I full speed sprint back to the bathroom and throw open the door like a swat soldier and find Jake unmoved, shaking his ass at me with his giant grin.
>"whats that?"
>"its my conditioner,"
>"your conditioner? HAHA what?
>"yea I use it to jerk off, its great lube"
>...
>"are you sure that can.. like, go in me? Yknow?"
>"well.. I mean.. it definitely gets in my dick when I use it and it never bothered me. Ill just use my finger--"
>"okay..."
>"--see how you feel"
>without wasting a second I cover my fingers in the conditioner and start rubbing his hole.
>"owee thats cold"
>Yea, this was going to work. My finger was probing the entrance to his whole, I could easily slide in.
>I push my finger all the way in, to which Jake gasps. Feeling inside him made my cock start twitching over and over on its own. It was unbelievably hot, and the entrance, twitching and squeezing like he was already having an orgasm, was tighter than a vice around my finger, which dug deep into a squishy, slippery organ that caressed and milked everything inside.
>I was inside of him. I was feeling the insides of a cute little boy.
>I fucked him slowly with my fingers for several minutes, adding more and more the longer I went, cum leaking from his cock forming now a nice puddle between his legs. Until finally,
>"Just-- fucking-- fuck me already!"
>I did not wait. I couldn't. I spread the lube on my cock, and primed myself at his hole.

>>733743793
lol so randum

>>733744109
Fuuuuuuckkk

>>733744109
Fuck yeah

>>733744109
i dont know how to feel about this

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>>733744109

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Guy Fieri has lots of little catchphrases he throws around to indicate a dish in question is tasty. Things can be “outta bounds” or “slamma jamma” or, occasionally, “bananas,” usually followed by the qualifier “and bananas is good.” There are many others. It’s part of his whole schtick, along with the pineapple haircut and multiple wristbands and flame-emblazoned bowling shirts. But the most famous and versatile of his array of patented zany synonyms for “good” has got to be “Flavortown,” which he wields like Swiss Army knife. A sampling, courtesy of the short-lived, valuable Internet research site Sh*tGuyFieriSays:

“I’m mining for food in Flavortown River.”
“… like a speed-bump in Flavortown.”
“It’s like a hot-dog lasso on the ranch in Flavortown.”
“That’s in the tank that fuels the bus that goes to Flavortown.”
“I feel like I’m in lasagna surgery here at Flavortown Memorial.”
“You can find that dictionary at the Flavortown Library.”

Those are … really specific. Almost too specific. There’s a hospital, library, and ranch, as well as a river and a fully-functioning public transportation system. And apparently the town has a problem with #teenz racing around in parking lots, which has gotten so bad that it required the construction of speed-bumps. (Perhaps the Style Section of the Flavortown Times should do a trend piece on it.) All of which raises a question that I want all of you to think long and hard about: Do you think maybe Guy Fieri thinks Flavortown is a real place?

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>>733744109

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>>733744109
>I began pushing into his ass
>his hole was looser now and opened to the head of my cock.
>"How does that feel?"
>he looks back at me, his big green eyes burning with fire, prompting me to give him a hard push, inserting about a third of my cock into his unbelievably tight hole.
>This sent a shiver exploding through his body. I could see his whole body shaking, his head writhing as he clutched the sink faucet with one hand and pulled his ass open with the other.
>fuck.
>I was doing everything I could to take my mind off how incredibly hot he was and how amazing his ass felt to keep myself from cumming, but he kept moving and wiggling, moaning and squeezing.
>for a moment I didn't move, and just let him do this little dance, let him get comfortable with the feeling.
>he would slide about a centimeter up and down my cock, hyperventilating, squeezing his warm, slippery ass down on the tip of my cock like he was trying to milk it.
>he was going to make me cum, but I wasn't ready yet.
>"Jake"-- leaning over his small body, laying my arms on the counter by his head, engulfing him.
>"Uh-hh?" barely able to speak.
>"I'm gonna go all the way in now."
>"hurrrrry..."
>with one gentle, swift movement I pressed my entire cock into his ass, all the way until his plump cheeks pressed against my waste.
>"AHHHHhh!" his body curled up into me, his head coming next to/under mine as I leaned over him. I almost screamed too.
>his ass was burning hot, and tightly wrapped my cock in slippery flesh from the vice grip of his hole all the way to the deepest reaches of his insides.
>this petite boy. this prestine pale body. I was inside it, I was 8 inches inside his asshole.
>I didn't let him get relaxed with this feeling, and immediately pulled out for another thrust.
>he screamed even louder.
>it felt like I was reaching inside of him, grabbing his deepest, most aching lust, pulling it out and shoving it back in.
>I started fucking him
>I didn't hold back.

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>>733745113

Now, just hear me out here. I’m not saying I think Guy Fieri is totally delusional and has conjured up a completely fictional metropolitan area that he makes frequent visits to in his mind and whose mayor is a dancing chili dog named Tex Frankfurter. (I’m not not saying that either, for the record.) I’m saying, what if Guy Fieri thinks there’s a real place called Flavortown somewhere out there, off the map and possibly lost to time and the elements, kind of like how salty old sea captains used to talk about Atlantis?

It would put a whole new spin on Diners, Drive-ins & Dives, wouldn’t it? Now, instead of a travel show about a bleached blonde porcupine criss-crossing the country in a classic convertible to shine a light on quirky, mom-and-pop restaurants, it becomes something entirely different: a tale of a weary explorer fruitlessly searching — always searching — for a lost culinary paradise, one with rivers that flow with Cheez Whiz and BBQ sauce, and gardens that are always in bloom with bacon trees and shrubs sprouting 20 ounce bottles of L.A. Looks Mega Mega Hold Rock Hard Fixation Gel. A place of legend. A place where he will finally belong.

Maybe that’s why he’s always referencing Flavortown on the show. Maybe it’s not a catchphrase, after all. Maybe he’s using it as a dog whistle, hoping that one day as he’s using it to describe the 7-Layer Burrito Bomb Salad at Uncle Slappy’s Grease Lagoon, the sound waves will float through the air and land in the one good ear of the scraggy-bearded, barrel-chested man eating alone in the corner booth, who will wave him over after the cameras stop rolling.

>>733745343
shiiit

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>>733745357


“Ay. You speak of Flavortown. What do you know of the place?” he’ll whisper in his gruff voice, only to continue before Guy Fieri has a chance to answer. “Because I’ve seen it, with my own two eyes, back when I was just a lad. I was traveling with my uncle. A good man, he was, even if a bit inclined toward “heart healthy” menu items at times. I was sleeping in the passenger seat when he nudged me to wake me up. I don’t know how long I’d been out. All I knew was that we were somewhere between Little Rock and Las Vegas, and the sun was setting. He motioned off to his left and smiled. My eyes grew large. There it was in all its glory, off in the distance, rising from the flat, barren Earth like an oasis. Flavortown. I could smell the sweet odor of cheeseburgers on a flat-top as we drove by, even through the rolled up windows. Hell, I can still smell it today. Something like that will change a man. I spent 60 years wandering that stretch of land trying to find it again. One time I thought I found it but it turned out I had just drunkenly stumbled into a Carl’s, Jr.”

>>733745343
Oh FUGGGGGGG :DDDDD :D :D

>>733729124
asshole you promised you weren't going to tell anyone

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>>733745580

“But why didn’t you just ask your uncle where it was?” Guy Fieri will interject, his eyes wide with wonder.

“Ask? You think I didn’t ask? I asked the old man every time I saw him, from the next morn until the day he passed. He never told me. He’d just get a twinkle in his eye and the left side of his mouth would curl into a knowing little half smile and he’d say ‘You don’t find Flavortown. Flavortown finds you.’ The bastard. I hated him then and I hate him now. I finally gave up looking two years ago, after I lost everything trying to find it: wife, house, job, sanity. It ruined me. Be careful, my young friend, for your journey is long and cursed. Take it from a broken soul who knows.”

But Guy Fieri won’t hear that last part. He’ll already be flipping his sunglasses down over his eyes and mentally mapping out his route. Now he’ll have confirmation: Flavortown is real, and it is out there, somewhere, waiting to be found. The search must continue.

…

…

Or something like that.

>>733745343
this sounds so fake but i dont care at this point. Hurry the fuck up

thread is so fucking gay

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>>733745688
That was an adventure, anon

>>733745921
Wait... what? How is this gay, fag?

>>733745921
That's the fucking point

>>733745921
I'll have you know I got buttfucked once and only cried for twenty minutes.

>>733746127
Wanna make it thirty?

>>733725012
>gayest moment

held a double ended dildo like a bike handle while 2 stripper fucked themselves at a bachelor party. vroom vroom

watched an episode of Rachel Maddow

picked up my GF's new Beetle from the garage

roommate's boyfriend dropped his dingus on my shoulder and I hit it with an electric bug zapper

OP IF YOU DON'T FINISH THIS STORY I SWEAR TO ALLAH

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>>733745343
>"AHHH--A-A-AHH!!" he was screaming so loud I think I was subconsciously scared somebody would hear.
>I grabbed his chin and turned it toward mine, and kissed him hard. Half two shut him up and half because I wanted to.
>he twisted his torso around and wrapped his arms around my neck. Kissing me back with a craving passion I'd only ever seen in movies.
>I was taken aback, trying to keep up with his mouth and arms when he started pushing into my cock himself.
>He was pumping my cock with his ass, grinding it at the base, and kissing me like it was our wedding night.
>I've never had an orgasm erupt straight to 100 so quickly.
>I pinned him down into the counter, covering his whole body with mine, and with a single 'throw-your-whole-body-into-it' thrust I came deep in his ass.
>his ass was so tight. So warm. Pulsing and squeezing on my dick as it fountains every last drop of semen stored in my balls.
>my fingers, arms, legs, and brain felt like they disappeared from reality.
>I could only feel my spurting cock and his tight slippery flesh.
>Still kissing, I let out a bellowing moan with the full strength of my lungs right between our lips, him lustfully inhaling my breath.
>then there was nothing but breath. Hot, whimpering breath.
>me on top of him, engulfing his body, remaining inside of him as he gently rubbed his ass into my waist, absorbing my juices.

>>733746359
FINISH HIM!!!

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>>733746359
Thanks anon, i don't even care if it's real or not, thank you.
Definitely hope it was screencaped though

Gave my brother a blowjob and jerked off a friend. I've been thinking on cross dressing and take someone's dick in my butt

>>733746359
nifty.org?

>>733746359
Completely erect.

>>733726407
Yup that's pretty gay

>>733726407
Only if you kiss

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>>733746359
>once my mind cleared and our breathing settled I stood up straight and pulled my cock out of his ass.
>I stood back and nearly passed out from the sight.
>Jake lay slumped over in complete ecstasy, his legs dangling from the counter, trembling lightly.
His asshole, pink and raw, contrasting so beautifully with his paperwhite skin, was pulsing, gaping open and closed as my cum dripped out of it, down his balls and to the floor.
>There also appeared to be a massive splatter of cum against the side of the counter from Jake's now limp, tiny cock.
>I couldn't believe anything. not even an hour ago I was straight, in the pool doing a normal swim practice with some kid, now here Im standing watching my cum drip out of the most cutestl, sexiest little boy I have ever seen.
>If I could just remember this, this right here. If I could just never forget this exact moment, thats all I'll need. I can never forget this.
>"I think Im gonna cry"
>Jake moving for the first time outside of breathing and trembling, his lustful grin now a dazed smirk-- "Ive never done that before."
>"well... neither have I"
>we are both so out of it.
>"I don't think I can stand"
>I laugh. This kid is so fucking cute.
>I help him up, he stands, holding me tight for support, letting my cum drip down his legs.
>I lift his head up and kiss him again on the lips.
>Why dont I walk you out of here, pretend like you have a limp.
>His beautiful eyes look into mine with a smile that could end wars.
>I help him pull his speedo back over his butt, wipe the cum off all parts of his body, and walk him out the door holding him in my arm.
>we did not clean up the mess.

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>>733747274
Fin

thank you. you've made my evening