/nzg/ - The New Zealand General

Why are IDs even gone?

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>>733680814

What time is it in nz?

>>733680814
new zealand lol

fucking wasteland

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chch reporting in.

>>733680814
Your country is shit and so are you.

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anyone here had hemoroids / piles before? fucking agony man my ass is raw

Dunedin reporting.

Fucking Shortland Street got me crying and I don't ever cry for a TV Show or Movie.

>>733681001
9:04pm

>>733681111
yeah ive had my actual asshole sliced into to remove the clots.

>>733681111
>nice digits man.

there ain't nothing you can do unless you go get cream or whatever from the dr/pharmacy. just gotta let it heal itself

>>733681194
like surgery? my ass hasnt stopped bleeding since yesterday but im too embarrassed to go to see a doctor

>>733681111
>>733681194
sorry forgot to acknowledge your wonderful digits my man

>>733681209
literally not going to rub cream up my ass. will just let it heal then

>>733681111

Checked, sweet quads.

Also my mrs got them bad when she was up the duff. I can ask her if you like

>>733681111
pictures of it didn't happen.

>>733681102
>capital city voted top place to live in the world
>one of the highest promiscuity rates of a country
>one of the highest binge drinking countries
>ranked one of the top "free/freedom" counrties
>we legitimately look like the LOTR sets that shit wasn't cgi

try harder faggot and shuffle back to whatever economic shit hole you hail from, cunt

>>733681247
my GP did it right then in there in her office.
no reason to be embarrassed, hemmoroids are a pretty ordinary thing for them.

sup lads auckfag here, sesh and whittakers peanutbutter chocolate, dont go back to work till sat. what's going on?

>>733681368
pls do :(

>>733681333
harden up faggot its not like you gotta jam your finger right up your ass

>>733681111
>>733681333

Its official, this is /nzg/ hemorrhoid edition

>>733681467
So say the digits

>>733681111
eat more fibre and drink more water faggot

Shortland street was fucking intense.

>>733681412

Go and buy a packet of womens maternity pads from the supermarket and wear those. It will cushion your inflamed undercarriage, and help you heal.

The dr gave her some suppositories that worked wonders too

>>733681592
stupid fucking show so you must be a stupid fucking hoe.

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>>733680814
< australian soldier m18 claymore helmet

ohh sorry is new zealand
australia have the same flag

>>733681115
>>733681592

what happened thou

>>733681592
i know right the fuck? best episode i've seen since i started watching like 15 years ago!

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>>733681621
>>733681621
>Go and buy a packet of womens maternity pads

>>733681691
Uhh.. a lot happened.

How recently have you seen it, if at all?

>>733681775

Last time I saw it there was a fire?

Fill me in

>>733682031
>a fire
Be more descriptive.. was it at a batch at the end of the year?

>>733682070

I really dont know. I think the hospital was on fire and someone died

>>733682163
What year, roughly?

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well faggots, chch reporting. it finally fucking happened. /b/ has done me me. ive booked an appointment to fuck get fucked by a trap on Sunday night. how fucked am i

>>733682368
and by trap i mean thai shemale 32C tits

>>733682368
You're not very fucked right now but you will be on Sunday. Also you're going to get AIDS

>>733682248

Probably 13-14 off the top of my head

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Dunners reporting.

Kicking back with some stout jams, reckon I'll get a cup of tea in the mix at some point. How's your evening going?

>>733682416
obviously going to use condoms idiot

>>733682368
post pics of said trap, how did you hook up, how much is it costing

>>733682368

The thing Ive found in life is that you learn more from your failures than you do from your successes.

Youre about to learn a whole lot, and learn to regret a whole lot too

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>>733682477
$60 / hour. backpage ad
>>733682557
why regret

>>733682468
She's obviously going to slip it off and cum in your bum

>>733682440
Oh, that's a fair while ago then. a lot has changed.

>Chris Warner has cancer
>Rachel has fucked off to USA after her alcoholism came back thanks to Lucy's father Glen who Rachel knew from years back

honestly there's so much thats happened since then, but if you wanted to start watching again the 25th Birthday Episode from tonight would be a good one to watch. I'd even answer any questions you'd have.

>>733680919
anonnz?
>>733681098
Ginga?
>>733682452
Obviously Dunners

Hutt Valley checking in

My electric blanket fucked out last winter so I've taken to filling empty liquor bottles (Jim Beam 1.75L are the best) with hot water to use as makeshift hot water bottles. They fucking work too.

>>733682803
>anonnz?
you know me too well ;)

>>733682585
Lol I bet it's like 6 foot 2 and towers over you. When you see it face to face you'll be like "yep, that's a dude in a dress" and before you know it you've handed over your cash, your ass is sore, you feel disgusted with yourself and you're slightly poorer.

>>733682803
I didn't know we were guessing, but I reckon you're spot on. Who's this, Uke?

>>733682926
come on tinychat

>>733682585
p good, would probably smash tbh, good thing its asian, cant imagine a kiwi shemale ever passing
>>733682954
>azn
>tall
i find this hard to believe

>>733682954
>thai ladyboy
>6 foot 2
pick one.
youve obviosuly never seen one in real life theyre often hotter than real girls

>>733682954

Sorer, poorer, but wiser.

Theres nothing we can say to stop this trainwreck. Lets just hope he reports back when he has been done

>>733682987
Of course it's me. I am only guessing because I am bored as fuck and also depressed.

>>733682803
yeah doode

>>733683053
i will green text the whole experience on Monday.
>inb4 enjoy your AIDS / hemorroids

any people in auckland who have a vagina want to come and cuddle and drink wine and watch brooklyn nine nine with me?

>>733683154
i need that vid of you deepthroating her dick then plowing her anus without lube

>>733682368
take pics, post oc

>>733683065
Well you're three for three, so cheer up

>>733683156

Youre talking the new season on netflix?

>>733683243
That makes life worth living again.
>>733683264
Yeah new season, not on netflix though because I don't pay for shit I can get for free.

>>733683217
>>733683218
i'lm planning on taking pics /vidoes anyway

>>733682828
they are literally $10 from the warehouse you sad cunt

Gwent is in open beta btw

>>733683304

Chicks dig guys who get knockoff stuff for free, instead of guys who spend $10 to get the real thing. Good luck trying to get vagina and cuddles

>>733683859
They do, because then that's an extra $10 I can spend on their ass.

>>733682828
Get A gf
Warm.butts but cold feet

>>733683717
Empty bottles are free you avo on toast eating rich faggot

>>733683977
wtb warm lady butt. Cold feet can be rectified with socks.

>>733683977
This fat chick from my old work has been dropping hints but she wants relationship. I just want to fuck every now and again

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>>733684031
S L O T H G U Y

>>733684027
fuck you i dont even like avos

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>>733684092
heyyy!

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>>733681674
>that insulation tape
kek

>>733684206
How's it going, maaate? What's new?

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>>733684265
not much, living in wellington now, which cuts down on the commute

>>733684355
I don't even remember where you were living tbh. It's been a long time. How's Welly?
>select all images with cars

>>733684076
And? You don't have to move in with her

>>733684076
Man, you males have to make everything so difficult.

>>733684076
>tfw no gf
>tfw no friends
>tfw

>>733684633
There's nothing more simple than a man. We want 3 things.
Food
Bantz
Penis touching.

>>733682368
/b didn't do shit, you were always a faggot.

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>>733684555
great, I used to live out in wairarapa

>>733684699
But it can't be on Tuesdays.
Or with a girl friend.
Only mum makes the best lasagne.
Should probably get a haircut.
Ya like fat chicks but no fatter than 20kg and vomiting.
Mental illness is a total bonus.
But she has to drive.

>>733682828
that shit is going to break and you will die in your sleep.

>>733684827
What the fuck kind of faggoty men do you date?

>>733684827
Oh and ya girl gotta be funny.. but not too funny cause she might bruise your pride by out memeing you.

>>733684699
I swipe left on any tinder bitch that has good a banter or some variation in her bio.
bitch you ain't about that life.

>>733684821
Sounds vaguely familiar, now you've mentioned it. What's in Welly for you, anyway? Do you work there or something?

>>733684888
See, scared of being out memed

>>733684888
Most of the men aren't avid hikers, artists, snowboarders, gymthusiasts or even like dogs all that much either but I deal.

>>733684880
You're dating the wrong men, lady. You should date me, unless you weigh more than 20kg and can't make a good lasagne.

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>>733684919
Yeah work is in wellington, saves having to work remote and missing out on team related convos

>>733684925
banter and memes are not the same thing.
no one is capable of keeping up with my meme lord.
girl banter is fucking stupid and you can't even crack a dead baby joke around them.
silly liars get swiper left.

>>733684925
Prove your bantz or gtfo

>>733685014
the fuck are you even on about?

>>733685063
Swiper, mo' swiping nigga

>>733685020
Yeah... I'm heavier than 20kg and I have yet to master lasagna.
Can cook though.
>>733685063
>>733685087
HOW MANY COPS DOES IT TAKE TO PUSH A BLACK MAN DOWN THE STAIRS, none, he fell. Obviously.

What starts with m and ends with arriage and gets everybody excited?
Misscarriage

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My gf

>>733685163
that isn't fucking BANTER YOU FUCKIGN SAD CUNT!
JOKES AREN"T EVEN FUCKING BANTER YOU HOMOFAGGOT

>>733685110
I'll lay it out. Anon said wimin don't baby's so he swiped left on them ones that have due bantz in finds bio.

I says in replies that min don't actually ski n stuff but they still put it in there finds bioz and I still swipe write.

>>733685163
How much heavier?

>>733685163
t. Quercy

>>733685260
nigga u dun goofed.
if they like doing snow activites and shit they can put it in there because they might possibly go do snow stuff every now and then.

if a wimminz puts bant lord in the fucking bio I ain't swiping that shit white.

>>733685237
What you want me to bantz off the bat? Laying down a few jokes. Soz.
>>733685217
Hi Anon, this is me.

>>733685331
Oh, I thought you meant they actually had some kind of banty bio.

Instead of just :
(Shitty emoji) bant Lord hurr

>>733685332
I don't want any wimmin that has bantz in their bio on tinder.
clearly a liar.

Since no takers I am watching Brooklyn nine nine and drinking this wine by myself.

I GUESS I WILL JUST TOUCH MY OWN PENIS.

>>733685559
fuck you even on nibber.

>>733685635
crippling depression and anxiety, why?

>>733685856
why don't you just acknowledge that the chemicals in your brain are retarded and get woke.

So anyway...
Each of the two genders has silly expectations.
And love and peace and crap.

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http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/92856652/steroid-sideeffects-lead-bodybuilders-to-black-market-prescription-drugs

Look at this faggot. Juiced to the gills and only doing 15kgs on cable-fly machine. I am 5'7 78-80kgs and can pull 65kgs on each side.

Complaining about sprouting a set of tits, and how it's his right to take expensive anti cancer drugs at expense of cancer patients. It's also his right to grow breast cancer from the shitty steroirds and be a burden on the public health system.

Seriously guys don't do steroids. It makes you weak and flabby. Law of diminishing return, when you start to get heavy and flabby it is hard to move around.

>>733686024
fuck love and peace and crap.
that shit ain't even real life.

that shit is marketed to you from birth and is designed to keep you obedient.

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>>733686024
>two genders
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>733686087
>uiced to the gills and only doing 15kgs on cable-fly machine
he might be doing super sets.
you don't know shit.

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>>733686113
Knew that would trigger some autistic.

>>733686113
report it for false advertising.
thing should be killed... at least in the harsh word this would be righteous.

It's brain has been mentally broken and reestablished by the media and the chemicals in the food and aluminium in products that needn't be there that leech into the blood and eventually build up in the brain allowing mind control tacticians to implant brain wave frequency changers.

>>733686174

The thumbnail looks like he has stuck a condom over his head and blown it up with his nostrils. Everything is all squished and shiny

>>733686136

Ahaha super sets are for faggots.

No wonder why you can't go heavy. Cause you focus your energy on going small. I warm up on 50kgs (each side), go heavy, then warm down on something like 50kgs.

Give me your stats tough guy. You got a hairy ass too?

>>733686307
nigga do you even know what super sets are?

>>733686087

Oh and I forgot the gloves to protect his woman hands.

My hands are nasty. They are as big as a 6ft mans and there are bits missing.

Evening gents

Took some mushies I picked today, undershot it and only had faint buzz, will have to try again in a fortnight.

>>733686344

I don't work out with anyone who don't lift anything heavier than they dick mayn.

>>733686174
Fucking typical for waicol really

>>733686439
not knowing the value of a soft touch these days.

also, gym bars are fucking filthy.
you know how many cunts have shredded their calluses on them niggas?

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>>733686517
>>733686174
bringing the reputation of the wairarapa down

fuck these guys

>>733686629
fuck your greasy ass tap handle niggga.

So it looks like my v8 ute will be assembled in the next two to three weeks. All the parts are paid for and on the way.

Any blonds in lower north island wanna come smoke up some 420 dank burnout skids? Single cab so only 3 seats.

We can go on a date to tonys tyre service afterwards for some coffee.

>>733686797
How hot are you?

>>733687014
Kek what is this?

>>733687088
tiny chat com/nzcam

>>733687088
Just your average night in Tinychat

>>733686914

If he is advertising himself first by his car then his drugs, then he aint that hot

>>733686914

green eyes, brown hair, 5'7 78kg (all muscle), 7.5 long and 6.5 thick.

>>733687235

Hey it's just an expression to emphasize the fun. I've never had a genuine toy as such, looking forward to showing off and making everyone jelly.

I never said I had drugs.

>>733687252

You mean mousy brown hair, short, skinny, with an under sized dick (we all know your adding at least an inch on each measurement)

Probably best you keep trying to pull chicks with your car instead of your looks or personality

>>733687235
... Yeah but what does your face look like? Are your eyes too far apart? Lips too thick naturally for a dude...

>>733687235
I don't even toke.

>>733687453
>>733687252
Tagged the wrong person.

>>733687371

Hah OK friend sure we can type anything we want whether it's true or not.

But there are stranger more unlikely stories that turn out to be true. Like how your Dad is a faggot.

>>733687453
>Lips too thick naturally for a dude
what does this mean?

>>733687453

My nose bridge is slightly out of alignment from getting hit.

>>733687775
Like Kylie Jenner lips on a man are unnatural
>>733688137
Meh that's nothing.
Who's your celebrity look alike?

>>733688200
>Like Kylie Jenner lips on a man are unnatural
kylie jenner lips on kylie jenner are unnatural.

>>733688333
I have thicc lips and it's not that unnatural. I know hers are..

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>>733688200

This guy.

I have a wide cheekbone higher testosterone face. Appeals to short term attraction, makes people trust me less.

>>733682368
i'm keen to this as well

>>733688422
So you're sorta okay looking? I can't tell.

People tell me I look like Iggy azalea but I don't see it.

>>733688422
Kik?

>>733688995
hahahahhahaha

Doing a celeb look alike thing on the internet.
I wonder who I will get.

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>>733687014

>>733689005

I think you already have it if you are the lady I think you are.

apparently I look like Jakob Dylan.

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>>733689259
I am going to force this meme

>>733688995

Haha there is only one fucking person you could be. What are you doing up so late I thought you had a job now as well as ur other responsabilitys?

this nigga dade.

>>733689583
Kek i don't sleep lmao.
Sigh.

>>733689310
Who do you think I am?

>>733689310
Msg me then.

Guess what's for dinner and you win some also.

>>733690215

I will

>>733690215
Not now though I'm signing off.

If you are listening to this you are the resistance.

bitch is dead

>>733690487
Okay then... But you probably don't have it.

>>733690679
Oh I have it.

>>733690729
Mmk

>>733690790
Do you want it?

WHO DID THIS? Was it you, Uke?

>>733689591

>>733691063
fucking kek

>>733691062
I don't think you have it cause I haven't got a msg lmao.

>>733691370
I don't really care if you cry.

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>>733691063
It may have been me...
>Oh daddy Hitler-kun, fill up my concentration camp with your jews UGUUUU~~~~

>>733691472
I'm not crying, what gave you that impression?

>>733691695
Hey Q, if I install kik will you send me nudes?

>>733691959
Nah.

>>733692039
You did once, I will show you my peen.

>>733691695
I am not afraid to die.

the /lonelyposter/ is me.
I am the last.
the greatest.
The only.

>>733693317
nope

SURPRISE, COCKFAGS