What are your best pickup lines /b/? Just matched with a qt on

>>733545361
Damn girl you shit with that ass?

I wanna put a baby in you

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is your dad a theif?

because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes

>>733545361
pickup lines are from the 80s my dude, just ask her what her favorite food spot is. either that, or ask her what her fav simpsons episode is. if she doesn't watch the simpsons, tell her to fuck off.

>>733545507

while true, I don't think it will work

>>733545593

this guy may be on to something...tell me more

>>733545361
Baby I want to ram my cock down that throat so hard it comes out the back. Getz dem bitches wet everytime.

>>733545657
are we talking about the girl in the photo?

I dont wanna get u pregnant

>>733545825

no that's just a random picture

>>733545361
>Im going to Whole Feeds, do you want anything?

Never fails to get a response
thank you based aziz

>>733546141
LOL i meant Whole Foods but use what you want

>>733545361
More of girl in OP plz.

are you a cow? because I want to suck on those udders baby

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>>733545593

OP here, I said what you told me to, I feel like a fucking idiot, I should just end it now.

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>>733546830

Oh god she responded, I didn't think I'd get this far.

>>733546830
don't feel that way. i'm here for you. girls want to be told what they want. tell her you a know a good spot that has a nice dinner option for two

>>733547014
i'm still here, ask her if she likes spicy food

>>733547010
>>733546830
just talk to her like she's a person. don't be creepy

>>733547072
im the one who you took the advice from, this is crucial. you cannot come off as creepy. even if you aren't being a creep, and you are perceived as one, its just as bad. ask her if she has heard of (insert new thing near your university that has a happy hour)

>>733545361
Hey, I'm going to Whole Foods, you need anything?

Are those pants made by NASA? Because they make me want to explore Uranus.

>>733547072
he may or may not be taking my advice, i want to keep this thread alive, is anyone listening to anything good? im listening to pinback and sending good vibes to OP

Tell her you really want to smell her feet. They LOVE that....

sorry im gay

>>733546218
no use Whole Feeds
then when she says what she likes say "no no, they only have food for horses there... so, what do you want?"

I shat my pants, can I get into yourz?

>>733547010
post it and dubs tells you what to say
MAKE IT SO NUMBER ONE

>>733547992

I just responded to what her favorite spot was and I asked her about her school and talked a little about myself.

Am I doin gud

>>733548222
checked
who knows post that shit you dullard
also a pic of you so we can calculate your chances and adjust based on your looks

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I hit them with my personal 1-2-3 combo
>Start off by saying they don't call me Daddy Meme Master for nothing
>they usually think it's funny and we'll send pics to each other
>(this also helps you figure out what kind of humor they're into)
>after a while regardless of how things go I say they don't seem too impressed and tell them to have a pic of me wasted in a banana suit. It's a pretty funny picture and they always laugh and some even say they saved it
>thankslori.jpg
>after shooting the shit for a few more minutes I ask them what they're up to
>I don't really care but when they ask I tell them I'm drawing
>my subject matter is pretty much all artsy tasteful drawn nudes
>pull some bullshit about the beauty of the female body blah blah
>50% chance of chick saying to draw them or help them take better nudes
>pic related

Tldr; figure out your end goal and make steps so you know you're getting there

>>733545416
This

>>733545361
FUCKSHECUTE

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>>733548323

It's been 9 minutes without a response. Time for suicide.

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>>733545361
Are you from Tennessee?

Because you look like white trash.

>>733545361
>Did it hurt?
>Did what hurt?
>When you got raped for being so pretty.

>>733548222
def a good start. the thing to keep in mind is girls want to talk about themselves. you ask what her fav spot is so she can either complain about the lack of vegetarian options, or give you some insight in to what she actually does like. in anything like this always remember, people LOVE talking about themselves.

"What color is your butthole"

>>733545361
its a guy you retard

>>733545361
What's cookin' good lookin'?

>>733548605
Ssssshhhhhhhhh

>>733548472
> 9 minutes

Is this a joke or are you actually that autistic?

>>733545575
Thats cheesy as fuck, but i think it would work on some girls

>>733545361
"Hey girl if I could rearrange the alphabet and put U and I closer together.... I wouldn't. Could you imagine how much that would fuck with people?"

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>>733548367

>>733545361
Do you want to go out with me? I won't take no for an answer. Then you grab her by the hair, take her outside, force feed her a bowl of eggs, cum inside her and slit her throat.

Works every time

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>>733545575
is your dad a nigger?

because he stole some shit.

>>733548367
You sly fucker, but what about the 90% of us who can't draw worth shit? I don't see myself getting laid after scribbling some stick figures.

>>733548902
^ this

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>>733548844
>checked those double Dubs

>>733545361
Does this smell like chloroform to you?

>>733548222
i'm going to eat pizza and im done here, but hopefully you can get her to meet you for a nice sushi roll and cocktail, or some other art school shit. godspeed.

>>733549090
YOURE GAY that was never funny like wtf are you duuing my ex gf used to say shit like thnat