ITT: we nerf each-other's superpowers >immortality

you're in a permanent coma.

>super speed

>>733492634
But now ur a Paraplegic

>>733492634
But only after you kill
>INVISIBILITY

>>733492634
You literally cannot die, u will live to see everthing the very collapse of the universe in a billion years. Also you go insane.

>>733492705
time speeds up by the same amount you do

>>733492752
only when you're alone in a room

>>733492709
Kek

>>733492752
You stay invisible/if you fap you invisiblity gone

>control time

telekinesis, how do you nerf that?

>>733492761
kek
>telekinesis

>>733492752
But you have autism

>>733492825
You cant look at the object, so you dont know where it is.

>>733492705

You have super speed, but its always turned on and every second in Regular Time feels like 1000 years in ur superspeed time.

>>Can read women's minds

>>733492825
The amount of tiredness you get if you bring the shit to you is the same when you use telekinesis

>>733492823
if you stop time, you are frozen too
>super strength

>>733492922
have to ask for permission

>>733492862
But you can only use it to project gay thoughts.

>>733492825
You are trapped in outer space in only a space suit and the closes planet is 10 lightyears away.

>>733492825
only works while sleeping

>x-ray vision

>>733492825
it doesnt work

God

>>733493015
cant turn on/off, and see through everything, through the entire planet and the pure nothingness of space

>>733492825
You're schitzo

>>733493026
everyone is atheist

>>733492947
You have the muscle to lift it, but ur skeleton can't support the weight and is crushed.

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>>733492634
People fail to see that immortality isn't that much of a super power though because infinity years is a damn long time. Waiting for eternity isn't something you can hope to comprehend. Sure, you'd have some time for some years, but then earth gets wiped out and you sit in space alone for a couple of million years, just to realize that no matter what you do - you cannot die. You will become completely inhumane at some point.

>>733493015
Only when you work as tsa.

>>733493117

>>No one cares what you rant

Ok my super power is being Donald Trump

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>>733492922
Pic related

>>733493214
you get assassinated by antifa

>>733493214
you have a vagina and can't stop grabbing it

>>733493214
It only seems like you're in control.

>>733493214
FBI cums in your butt for being a russian cuck

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>>733493214
you severely dissapoint your supporters

>The superpower to make everyone in a radius of a mile do a perfect choreography of "we are number one" with instruments, dancing and costumes each time you say "we are number one".

>>733492634
being immortal means that you will have to sit through the entire heat death of the universe and more. first you will see all your loved ones die. then all of humanity will crumble leaving you alone to watch everything slowly turn into nothing in this time you will go insane from the lack of social interaction and you will have become completely numb to anything from all the pain you have experienced. when the final stars and black holes perish you will wish you were dead when you are floating through the empty void unable to move see hear or smell anything.

>mfw OP creates the worst super power.

>the power to control others thoughts

>>733492976
pwned.

>>733493507
everyone thinks you're a faggot

>>733493020
lol

>>733493486
you join in and can never stop until you die of exhaution, dehydration or both
>the ability to teleport anything anywhere

>>733493606
Teleporting only works when you're taking a shit.

>>733493507
can only make them think about fucking you up to the point where they actually do it

>>733493486
kys

>>733493215
kek

>the power of flight

>>733493606
every time you do it it feels like some one kicked you in the nuts
>shape shifting to any animal

>the power to transform in to anything

>>733493783
you can't come back down

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>>733493606
That also traps everyone in that 1 mile radius because it's said again during the song. With good indurance you could create a kill zone of 1 mile (while of course having to die aswell).

>The power to cook any recipe while still lacking one ingredient producing the complete meal.

>>733493842
can't turn back

>>733493606
but you never know what is teleported along with i. also the matter can fuse with the objects that are teleported with it in a random way.

>i have the power to tell you faggots that you only counter the superpowers but dont intelligently and interestingly build on them.
>not i will use my power

you are lame faggots.

>cant cope with me

>>733493873
it tastes like shit

>>733493802
The only Animal you can turn in is a nigger

>>733493802
you keep the iq of the least intelligent animal you transform into, permanently

>the power to commit any crime and get away with it

>>733493899
but youre autistic

>>733493975
you're a nigger

>>733493976
Kek

Power of having an orgasm at will

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>>733493802
A group of sweaty furfags constantly follow you to go into transformation, if they see you they will mercilessly rape you.

Can instantly use any midivil era weapon upon touching said weapon.

>>733493802
You have to fuck the animal first, you wanna shape shift to

>>733494018
Only works at home, alone

>>733493975
the more crimes you commit the more sensitive you become, making your conscience heavier and heavier with guilt, to the point where you kill yourself for the monster you believe you became.
>not needing sleep, i.e. not experiencing the negative effects of not sleeping

>>733494053
>most people on 4chan do that already
>pls nerf moar.

>>733494080
That's usually how it always happens anyway.

>>733494018
everytime you do it theres someone recording it and uploading it to where people you know see it

>>733494018
But you're a 12 year old who just found out how to fap.
>The power to telepathy with lower animals.

>Power to alter sexual orientation at will.

>>733494047
You always injure yourself in some way when using it

>>733494047
No weapons exists of that era

>>733493873
Chef Gordon Ramsay will always show up to yell at you mercilessly. Proper insult you, your food and everything in your life and he will continue to do this while the food is uneaten.

>>733494107
Yeah... totally forgot about it.

>>733494047
you become paralysed completely,
>flame resistant

>>733494159
>You can only use it on animals who are closer to sea level than you are.
>lower animals
>see what I did there

>>733494161
Become infertile

>>733492997
underrate

>>733494161
you're bisexual anyway

>>733494161
but you get raped by daddy each time you change orientation.

>>733494234
,I'll still take it.

>>733494219
water intolerant

Magically size-altering penis

>>733494303
kek
>understand and speak every language

>can impregnate any woman by just looking at them

>>733494343
your penis is where your nose is and vice versa

>>733494349
You're deaf

>>733494381
have to pay child support

>>733494381
Have to pay child support for every one.

>>733494343
you can't get hard, even with viagra

>>733494381
Get accused of stare rape everytime

>>733494392
THAT JUST GIVES ME THE POWER TO SUCK MYSELF OFF AS WELL!
>i fucking LOVE this super power!

>>733494349
Your tongue shrinks every time you speak another language, gradually making you harder and harder to understand

>>733494452
>>733494437
in sync /b/ro

>>733494219
temperature sensitive to the point where you get mad from pain if temparature changes only 2 degrees celsius over the course of an hour

>i can understand landau lifschitz physics books

Nerf, or nothing. *jumps over block

>>733494512
Paralysed

The power to know exactly what the outcome of a certain situation will be after a 1 minute meditation.

>>733494512
you're blind

>>733494491
I know right? Fuckin' on point.

>>733494537
what do you think i am, stephen hawking ?

I get dubs everyone I check for them

Power to give a fuck.

>>733494543
you can't change it in any way

>>733494543
All outcomes are life threatening to you so you can't interfere with them

>>733494577
NICE

>>733494543
You can't alter the outcome, and add 1 minute of meditation with each use.

>>733494594
>fuck

>>733492825
You feel the object as if it's moving through your rectum

>>733494543
You forget when you stop meditation

>>733494577
Welp

>>733494591
You become a meme

>>733493106
People believe in strong gun control, it doesn't stop them getting shot.

>>733494591
you cant control how many fucks, and you start to give a fuck about feminism, black lives matter, communism and become a leftist idiot faggot

Power to always have take-backsies

>the power to win in the binding of isaac

>>733494675
>implying I'm not already.

>>733494695
but you dont even know what that is

>power to find a gf

>>733494716
Upon completion, you die.

>>733494716
it's the only game you can ever play

>>733494716
But you don't get achievement points

>>733494757
She'll always cheat

>>733494757
she's not your gf

>>733494757
>You can always find a Good Friend.

>>733494716
but you have no time to play it

>power to lurk in this thread and only in this thread for quite some time

>>733494801
>kek

>>733494757
The only girlfriends you can find are black.

>>733492862
Only objects you have put in your rectum

>>733494821
you can never leave, even when it 404's

>>733494757
She has a dick

>>733494821
>you spend quite some time on 4chan every time you do so.

>the power to turn any traps penis in to a vagina

>>733494621
pretty good balance actually

>>733494896
You have the surgical skills to do it, not the magic.

>>733494896
you're a raging homosexual and can't stand girls

>>733493117
but what if you then reach nirvana?

Able to influence electricity

>>733494896
You can only fuck them before

>>733494978
electricity also influences you
>i.e. you get electric shock

>>733494884
>>733494843
>>733494801

you guys did completely remove the power. thats not fair.

>>733494896
But it's a hideous vagina, with multiple infections.

>THE POWER TO GET THE FRESHEST MEMES BEFORE THEY'RE POSTED

>the power to summon moot to any thread

>>733495039
when you post them people think they're shit and they don't become memes

>>733495002
Your opinions are heard but not considered

>>733495039

but everytime you post them later on, youre seen on the meme and your personal info,too.

>>733495071
he bans you every time

>>733495039
But you can never show them to anyone

>>733494621
Genious.

>>733495110
Kek beat me to it

Every day my consciousness is transferred to another person's body

>733495181
(As in I only occupy one mind at a time)

>>733495181
only niggers, get shot

>The power to leave this thread and go make dinner because you're supposed to be a responsible adult

>>733495181
but you only have the memory of that particular person

>>733495238
But you're a massive faggot

>>733495238
you can never come back to your computer

>>733495238
but while youre making dinner you need to look at the thread because youre hooked

>>733495181
Diseases are carried with you

>>733495310
Hahahahaha

>>733495344
That's alright, I'm on my phone, i don't own a computer

>>733495238
You're a vegan so dinner sucks.

>>733495238
Your internet connection needs to be reset every time

>Power to give anyone who makes eye contact with you to have instant explosive diarrhea.

>>733495392
????????????????????????????????

>>733495475
Can never look in a mirror again

>>733495475
every room you walk into has a mirror you stare right into

>>733495475
but they blow the load in your face everytime

>>733492922
Ugly as fuck

>>733495475
You have to eat it everytime

>the ability to know absolutely everything

>Everytime someone insults you online, their hard drives crash.

>>733495648
you die

>>733495475
>Can't stop it from happening.
>You become known as the shitman.
>Society shuns you.
>Go to live in caves.
>Animals that look at you also shit loads every time they make eye contact.
>Get covered in bear shit.

>>733494621

/thread

>>733495666
you have to pay for replacement

>>733495648
but youre justin bieber

>>733495700
bitches love jb

>>733495666
You have to pay for an upgraded version for whoever insults you.

>>733495700
That doesn't sound like a bad thing in reality, he's minted and can get loads of pussy

>>733495766
you want to be justin bieber ?
you would not hate yourself ?

faggot.

>>733495766
>implying he likes pussy

>>733495819
i doubt justing beiber hates himself with all the $$$ and pussy he's getting?
logic???

>You are immune to every single STD and STI known to Man.

>>733495666
but yours crash, too.

>>733493783
you fly as fast as you can run and walk

>>733495878
no one wants to fuck you

>>733492761
that would just result in watches going crazy i hope you realize you are retarded

>>733493026
Your power depends on the number of believers are after you, and they've all substitued you by your avatar.

Haven't read Small Gods, from Terry Pratchett?

>>733495878
youre a woman

>>733495930
...

>>733495819
Like out of all the celebrity's to be he isn't exactly my first choice, but if that's my only choice I'm fucking taking it. Better than earning £8/hr like i am atm

>>733495930
this nigga

>>733495870
but if you hate justin bieber and you get to be justin bieber then you would hate to be the impersonation of faggotry, because its YOU in him not HIM otherwise this doesnt make sense at all.

>>733493486
No need to nerf that. As soon as you fall asleep, you'll get stabbed to death

>>733495950
How would this be a bad thing?

>Ability to Power your own electrical devices yourself.

>>733495930
the watches just move faster because as you speed up, time and everything affected by it speeds up.
>i hope you realise you are retarded
hmm

>>733493507
Only while you're asleep, can't control the same person twice, can't make them harm themselves and they'll remember what you did

I can void any nerfing of my super power

>>733496070
The current has to go through you, meaning too powerful of a device and you die

>>733496070
Only outlet is in your urethra

>>733496070
you become an indigenous tribesman in the amazon rainforest, with no access to electrical devices

>>733496127
but you dont have one

>>733496127
Don't actually have a superpower to nerf

>>733496127
you have no super power.

>>733496127
if thats your super power then you have no super power. are you autistic?

>>733496212
>>733496214
Void

This is my superpower.

>the power to ACTUALLY leave this thread because i STILL need to fucking make dinner

>>733496070
Electricity from charging is running through your balls

>Ability to do objectively the best decisions at any situation.

>>733496244
Faggot

>>733496291
Dinner is frozen pizza that is impossible to chew. And it doesn't thaw

>>733496291
op here, sorry anon

>>733496302
you're severely depressed and the best solution is suicide

>>733496372
You did this to me. Apology accepted though, been a good thread, I'm off

>>733494621
I fail to see the negative here

>>733496291
but when youre making dinner you think about this thread nonstop

you exude sexy aphrodisiac pheromones for women only and your penis vibrates.

>>733496433
lmao
>insane willpower

>>733496520
you're impotent

>>733496539
>in your sleep

>>733496539
You still chose to be gay

>>733496520
You are also known as the 1 minute man. Unable to please any of them.

I have the ability to fuck anything. there immediately appears a pussy anywhere i want to fuck to.

like, if i would trying to stick my dick into a wall, there would appear a pussy right before i touch it.

>>733496520
Only when you're flaccid

>>733496601
you can't suck manpenis or getfucked

>>733496669
It's actually a gloryhole and there's a fat old dude on the other side.

>>733496669
the pussy has teeth and is poisoned with curare also is a nigger

>>733493873
It's always poisonous

>>733493899
But will be forever known as a faggot on /b/

>>733493975
But you'll be chased with feelings of guilt forever, even from the smallest crime

>>733494018
But can't avoid screaming from pleasure. Also, will get turned on at random times and can't avoid the call

>>733494104
But for every night you don't sleep you'll be hallucinating for one week, then 2 weeks. Then 4, and so on.

>>733494159
they'll hate you for this

>>733494161
At the cost of being unable to cum for a year every time you use this power. Also, you'll still get horny as usual.

>>733494219
But if you touch water you'll melt.

>>733494349
But only if a native speaker of that languaje has raped you first.

>>733494381
And they'll know that you're the father.

>>733494512
But can't explain it

Enough for now

>>733496669
It's always your mom's pussy.

>>733496669
you get a new std every time you do it

>>733494472
How do you put your dick in your mouth when its hard? Youd have to "break" it

>>733492825
You have to drink 4 gallons of milk in a 1 hour period for it to work.

>>733496765
chill nigga

>>733492922
Mind control no problem, but instantly jizz each time you do.

>the power to get dubs everytime

you always shit in maximum 5 seconds and won't have to wipe. Immune to hemorrhoids.

>>733496886
You can't control your bowels

>>733496886
you shit knives

>>733495181
Only aborted fetuses.

>>733492825
You become temporarily retarded when in use

If you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight.

>>733497061
but youre a massive faggot

The power to get more powers

Ability to make anyone shit him/herself with the most rancid, liquid diarrhea known to man

>>733497061
Suicide

>>733497142
but each time you get a new power, the old power is deleted and you have to nerf the new power.

>>733497061
Well, that superpower sucks just as it is.

>>733497154
only while you are penetrating them with your penis also you live in the goat tower.

>>733497154
But it happens to you at the same time

>>733497142
You can only power your power power.

the power to paint any shit i want instantly

You live as a soul that can possess slowly decomposing corpses, depending on temperature and weather. Can interchange between corpses at will.

>>733497142
every time you get a new power you break a random bone in your body

>>733497337
Only in ms paint

>>733497337
you can literally only paint with shit

>>733497371
but you cant get a normal body afterwards.

>>733497371
the corpses are still fucking corpses and cant move. what a shit power
>telepathy

>>733497371
But you lose 5 IQ points per corpse possessed

The power to sticky any thread

>>733497471
but you lose 5 cm height for each use of telepathy

>>733497371
But each time you enter a corpse, you feel whatever pain they felt in their last moment

>>733497471
only with every single person on the earth every moment also you live in the goat tower

>>733497564
what about width?
do i become a human pancake?

>>733497542
but you get dementia and always forget to

>>733497471
Any use of it will force you to have a crippling headache, you also inherit any person whom you use your power on's depression.

>>733497542
only works in /y/

>>733497609
yeah, until you vanish.

>>733497471
Can only use it to send gay thoughts

>>733497609
You become Super-Pancake

>>733497634
i already have depression so only the headache works. since i have depression if i use it on someone who doesnt will it heal mine? ill take it for a temporary headache

Everytime you come into contact with a book of any sort you instantly absorb all knowledge

>>733497676
invisibility and telepathy. noice

prehensile above average for a Caucasian human penis and can shoot lasers at will which you are immune to and your penis doesn't overheat

>>733497705
but you're dead

>>733497705
But you forget after 1 minute

>>733497777
nice get

>>733497705
But only from child books.

>>733497705
but "absorbing the knowledge" actually means you stick it up your ass.

>>733497701
>You may collect depression and deposit it on a poor individual once a year. Extended use of telepathy also causes aneurysms.

>>733494236
>>733492997
telekinesis,
from the ancient greek tele meaning “at a distance
and kinesis, meaning MOVING THINGS

>>733497748
no. youre non existant if you use it at height 5 cm

>>733497777
But every usage removes 1 inch from your penis

Also checked

i have the power to not let this thread die

>>733497900
But you have autism

>>733492947
>>733492947
you can only respire anaerobically therefore live a life with perpetual muscle cramps

>>733493117
So you get someone to build you a self-sustainable spacecraft which you can use after the world ends to explore the universe.
Doesn't really sound much like a con to me..

i can cheat anything

>>733497777
But you have to jack off on the spot after every fifth usage

>>733498036
but all your family instantaneously knows about what you do on 4chlang.

>>733498036
281 replies :(

>>733495648
But you lack the ability to comprehend it.

>>733498144
you cheat life, and therefore die

>>733498144
But everyone knows it.

Anything I write in a notebook and enclose in blue pen becomes true

>>733493675
I'll take it.

>>733492634
Lives of the ones you love get halved

>>733498311
you're a nigger, and therefore can't write

>>733496070
But your Amish.

>>733492634
you still keep aging, but you just don't die from it

>>733498311
but you have no soul and dont care

>>733498311
But only if you write it in akkadian

>>733498237
>>733498285
i can cheat that though

>>733498311
But it's reflective on how well your handwriting is

>>733498407
but youre dead so you cant do anything, also youre a faggot and cant reply to this

>>733498480
top keko

>>733498377
>write "I have a soul and care"
>learn enough akkadian to write "I don't have to write akkadian"

OP here, its been fun /b/oys. Thanks for playing

>>733498480
gg anon

>>733498511
you dont write it cause you dont care so why should you

>>733498541
thanks mate, had a good few keks

>>733496878
cant trip or above

>>733498144
Yet you get a severe depression every time you see a person achieving their goal by putting time/effort into something and, as a result, you have no desire to use your power anymore.

>Power to freely hop between dimensions. (Without that D4C Menger Sponge bullshit).

>>733493488
>>733493117

He will spend hundreds of years, learning all there is to know. He will learn every language. He will read every book. He will know every land. He will spend thousands of years creating stunning works of art. He will learn to meditate to control all pain. As wars will be fought. And great loves, found. And lost. And found. Lost. And found. And found. And memories built upon memories, until life runs on an endless loop.

but there are no dimensions

>>733498856
obly dimensions you can jump to are lovecraftian ones also azathoth awakens

>>733498856
Each time you enter a dimension it signals a massive catastrophe in the previous one

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>>733498958
He will father hundreds of thousands of children, who's own exponential offspring he will slowly lose track of though the years. Who's millions of beautiful lives will all eventually be swept again from the Earth. And still, Bill will continue. He will learn more about life than any being in history, but death will forever be a stranger to him. People will come and go until names lose all meaning, until people lose all meaning, and vanish entirely from the world.