Can I get a, uhhhhh, feels thread?

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You have to contribute more fag

>>733334407
Relatively new phone, no content on here to post. Just really unhappy, girl I love has a new bf and is really happy with him. Seeing it kills me

help me cope after the big GET was wasted

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>be 34 year old virgin
>beta as fuck
>school janitor
>creepshot students everyday
>come home to my shitty apartment and masturbate to creepshots
>4chan.org create thread saying im a student
>'new creepshot thread school edition'
>appreciated for tons of OC
>masturbate
>pass out
>next day more creepshots
>gigabytes of OC.
>at shitty apartment smoking cigarette and organizing creepshots
lightbulboverhead.jpg
>create blog of creepshots
>gains popularity within few days
>eventually school gets recognized
good thing im behind 7proxies and pose as student
>blog gets shutdown after a couple of days. school notified
>next day authorities question students and teachers
>notice about incident on noticeboard
>rules regarding dress code made more strict
>try to act casual and calm. dont get questioned
>whole incident dies after a few days
>dont take anymore creepshots since stricter mobile rules inside school buildings
>think ways of getting creepshots
>disregard cam in toilet option cause janitor prime suspect
>disregard moving schools cause raise suspicion
>come back home everyday feeling empty and depraved
>tfw no more fulfilling fap sessions

>>733334831
What on?

>>733334961
this is it
>>733333333 →

>>733334635
youll be unhappy for a few weeks maybe, thats natural. unless you have a consistent unhappy streak that you cant explain then theres nothing to worry about

>>733334925
i don't wanna say that's a bad thing...since you know, not spreading childporn now, but...

>>733335058
Shit dude I've been unhappy for years, recently I've been suicidal unhappy. Like, can't even enjoy vidya or tv or anything

>>733334925
>>733335229
let me clarify, what i meant is it's not a bad thing that they cracked down and you can't do that anymore, you were basically being a pedophile

>>733334248
Sure not a cringe thread?

I'm not hurt anymore.
I accepted the fact that there's no one out there for me.
Yes, I tried the "go out more; get the fuck out of your house; go meet people and you'll find someone eventually"
I tried and it didn't worked. I cried, I got sad, I got angry... But know I'm okay.
Some people live their lives alone, and I'm one of them. Some people never hear "I love you" or "I missed you" and I'm one of them. And that's fine. I'm free from that crushing feeling; the neverending search. I'm free to be alone.

I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.

>>733335361
I mean feels and cringe go hand in hand sometimes

>>733334925
Oof kill me

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>>733334248

>>733334635
That means you dont love her, if you did, her being happy should make you happy. You only think of yourself. Dont be a shitty person

>>733335683
a cuck is born

>>733335301
well, then i sympathize with you my friend, ive felt the same for years. only over the past 3 years has it gotten pretty severe but only intermittenly. its not fun, id recommend seeing a doctor but i wont even do it because im a bitch faggot and i think ill just be looked at like im stupid or whatever. i just keep to myself and drown myself in alcohol, lie in bed with a comfy song or playlist and fall asleep.

>>733335373
every girl except one ive been with has been pretty slutty with other dudes while we were together so ive given up on that nonsense, i just keep to myself. i feel like its better. nobody else to worry about

>>733335683
Nah dude I am happy for her. We're really good friends, more than anything. I just wish her being happy was because of me, not someone else. Like, I wish her happiness was also my happiness. I've got a shit ton of conflicting feelings.

>>733335895
That's my solution too. I usually lay in bed and watch tv shows I watched as a kid. Currently watching drake and josh but it isn't distracting me enough, sadly.

>>733334248
what response were you expecting? suiciders get no empathy.

>>733336432
Suiciders are the worst. Attention whores is all they are.

>>733336432
Is that even what they want? I think most of them just want to pass out of existence without anyone noticing

>>733336235
find some chill ass music, personally i love listening to chillstep with vocals or mirrors edge ambient music.itll at least put you at ease

>>733335229
>childporn

how was that child porn?

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>>733334248
Broke my phone today and wanted to talk to my best friend. I can see I have a text( notification light still works) but my phone screen isn't working since I dropped it. Sad times man, anyways always down for some feels at least.

>>733336591
Would you save someone you love from killing themself?

>>733336591
i mean, maybe. but personally its 50/50. if you sink that far you either have so much pain that its unbearable or you just want people to care about you. seeing as how everyone glorifies suicide.

>>733336799
not that anon but idk, its hard to say, maybe thats a real release for them, who am i to get in the way, on the other hand if theyre being stupid i wouldnt wanna lose someone super close to me

>>733336698
Most are spoiled brats wanting daddy's attention.

>>733337215
source?

>>733336698
They probably just want to tell someone because it feels better when you do even if its on an anonymous board. I mean, who can't relate to feeling like giving up?

>>733337499
MY99 check em /b/arse-tards

>>733337417
Facebook and r9k

>>733337438
I dont see it as giving up. More like a shortcut through all the pain

>>733337603
This, I'm not that emotional but I'd rather jump in the pool than get pushed into it,
if jano what eye men

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Aren't we all lost in life, not sure what or where we are going. I know I feel lost sometimes. I don't know whether the isolation makes me feel better or worse but I know I'm going to make some big changes soon.I just hope they're in the right direction and I don't fall off that cliff again.

>>733337603
Its still giving up because you don't know for sure it won't get better and you don't know for sure that you are short cutting through any pain. Even if your life sucks now you can make it better day by day until you forgot why you were even upset in the first place. I've been doing better lately but I've been suicidal before. Life has its ups and downs but we wouldn't appreciate the good things if we didn't have the bad feels. I love you all anons, even if I don't practice what I preach I still don't want anyone to give up. I just wish I felt that way all the time myself, I'm feeling exhausted right now.

>>733337601
fair enough, ill give you that, but to be fair there are people who dont say shit and just do it

>>733335895
>>733336235
both of you need to step up and get some help.
reading these posts is like reading my own life
idk if 4chan just attracts those who are horribly depressed, isolated, and alone or a cause of it, but if I'm gonna start coming back to this site I might as well wake a few people up.
get help, doesn't make you stupid or weaker than others or different or whatever youre afraid of. nobody even has to know in the first place, I guarantee you a bunch of people you know get help and nobody even knows about it

>>733338206
>in hospital with disease that's gonna kill you
>in pain 24/7
>all family dead
>all friends dead

Suicide can be a rational decision, no one really has the right to tell anyone not to kill themselves

Big batch of acting like a bitch in this thread. Knuckle the fuck up.

>>733338424
I just don't even know where to begin. I'm a poofag on my parents insurance still, so a therapist or something like that isn't gonna happen. I've been trying to eat better and be more active, not really seeing any help from there tho

>>733338615
Have a cup of concrete and harden the fuck up

>>733335373
maybe it's the fact that you're doing things that you don't want to in order to meet this person
if you're trying to find the right person for you, I doubt you're gonna find them doing things you don't like
meet someone online or through joining groups that are of interest to you
there are tons of people out there, girls included, who are fine with staying inside all the time and being an introvert. even a lot of attractive people live this lifestyle, so it's not like your forced into the uglies

>>733338424
How can you be so sure it will get better. I mean, its all been going downhill and if i hit rock bottom i really dont see the fucking point in going on. Even if good times lay ahead id rather quit.

>>733338521
I'm not saying its not the right decision for everyone but some young men and women should at least give life until 30 or 40 until they decide to quit. Things can change for the better if you work at it.

>>733338424
to be fair its not everyday, only maybe 2 or 3 times every week or two. idk if i feel like that qualifies as needing help

>>733334925
you were doing god's work

be proud of that

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>>733339159
Maybe if you praise Satan

>>733338018
make those big changes
if there's even a small chance of getting you out of that isolation and where you need to be, it's gotta be worth the risk.
you can always get yourself at rock bottom, but its the accomplishment of climbing out of that hole that makes it all so worth it.
getting out and seeing the sunlight baby

>>733339015
even then, just having a friend or anyone to talk to about your issues is something to consider.
don't be afraid to bring up your problems to your friends, because if they're really your friends they will care and listen. if not you just saved yourself the struggle of finding out you have a shitty friend

>>733339743
i have before, mostly supportive but i hate feeling like im striving for attention or something so i dont bring it up.

>>733338884
It might not get better, it might get worse
Are you really willing to give up on finding someone who can be your other half, your best friend, and someone you can fuck like crazy all at once?
Think about how lit that is. and then getting to raise your own kids?
you're literally giving up on your legacy and passing down your awesomeness

>>733339514
I've already been at rock bottom and it wasn't pretty. Thanks for replying btw. I've been crawling out of that hole ever since. My lease is up in August and I think im going to move across the country once I have the money to do so. I want to go back to school so maybe I can do that next year, considering September of this year isn't that far away and I'm not really prepared. I don't even know anymore, I just need to get away from where I am now. I've been hanging around this shit hole for too long and its getting to me.

>>733339937
some very supportive words, but they cant compare to the countless skanks that have entered most peoples lives including mine

>>733338778
There are other ways to get help from those who are close to you like friends or family.
If you feel like there is nobody who cares enough, you're probably wrong. And if you really have no one who cares, you get to have the adventure of meeting someone who does.
I find that the quickest and easiest way to happiness is helping others (not to sound like such a fag) but those people will want to look out for you in return

>>733340075
fair enough, I've dealt with my share of skanks of all varieties, and emotional tormentors to add to that. There are opinions I have that no words can change.

Just try to remember that not everyone's a skank, even if most people are

>>733339870
been there I feel ya.
With me it's not something I like to bring up because I'm afraid of being permanently marked as a downer/pessimist.
even if just posting on 4chan once in a while to let things out helps, that's something. anythings better than holding it all in, it'll only make it exponentially worse. if you can't afford to see someone, make yourself busy. work enough to be able to afford seeing someone, and by that time you'll be too busy to even have these negative thoughts or any thoughts

>>733334925
>disregard cam in toilet option cause janitor prime suspect
hmm you could actually make it a viable option but you wont be able to share them and that's about it.

>>733340003
Keeping yourself surrounded by the same things can make it feel impossible to get any changes made in your life or get away from any of your problems.
Moving is always a refreshing change of scenery and can help you grow as a person and even learn more about yourself as you have to start from scratch in a new area

>>733338206
I know that feel

Very lonely, in a small town where I'm almost guaranteed to not meet anyone.

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Sometimes even being used feels better than being alone and not being used. Funny how that shit works

>>733340936
Good insight. I truly hope my dreams and wishes come true but until then they are only that, dreams and wishes. Truth be told i've been medicating so long I can't remember the last time I dreamed. The last dream I can actually remember having was close to 3 or so years ago. Strange tangent, but thanks for the reply.

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>>733341012
After a good nights sleep i'm sure i'll be in a better mood tomorrow.

>>733334248
>I have to get this one off my chest.

Why the fuck do you still talk to him?
You left him and moved out. I thought this was done.
He treats you like shit and isnt even sorry for anything hes done to you.
It doesn't make fucking sense because I know you are logical person and not stupid.

The only conclusion I can draw. That I've thrown right in your face, stated it bluntly, and you aggressively and adamantly denied.
Is that you like it....
And that's fucking horse shit if you ask me.
What the fuck happened to you???

You know that I don't tolerate people who treat you poorly.

And here I am in the middle not knowing what to do.
I can effortlessly ruin his life.
Do I have to become actively involved and make this a personal matter?
Because when I do. I have to break from my busy life to attend to a matter I am displeased with so I will not be happy.

Do I have to become a monster one more time?
Once its out, its very hard to put back in place,
Its out of control, and I don't like doing it.
But I don't know how much longer I can stand
here and let this go on.
I know you will hate me if I do thats why I'm so hesitant
I just want to see you happy.
Every time I see or hear you cry it feels like a 1000 razor blades cutting at my soul, and thats only because I care.

>decisions...............

>>733341228
like to imagine satan grants some of those wishes just for kicks

kids can't spell santa, lets give them a break

>>733335793
ecks dee

>>733336064
I was the same way as you about a year and a half ago, girl I was into started to go out with one of my best friends, he didn't know I was into her and she didn't either so it's no big deal, it was really my fault for not acting on it, now I'm in a relationship with someone else that I get along with a lot better than I think I ever would with the old crush. It sucks at first, but after getting over it, maybe you'll come to realize it was for the better?

>>733337417
he watched Thirteen Reasons Why and is an expert now

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>>733341670
Damn dude. That's heavy, I hope you find happiness no matter what happens anon.

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>>733341770
That's a nice thought isn't it. I don't even know if I believe in god let alone the devil. I mean I know there is a little bit of the devil in every human so to speak but it is what it is.

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So I had a girl who was my bestfriend and I ruined it. This valentines day I bought her a gift simply because she got me a gift earlier and i wanted to repay the favor. So I got her her gift with a note attached. She accepts and life goes on but I told her I had a gf which I didn't and told bestfriend girl that she broke up with me because I bought her that gift. Idk why I did that. I just wanted to tell the girl I was single without saying it. Anyway bestfriend girl blocks me and ignores me and wont talk to me in person. I wouldn't honestly care if it were anyone else but we've been friends for years and been through so much together. I dont know what to do. Its been 3 months and I cant stop thinking about her. She was honestly the love of my life. I know I have no one to blame but myself. I just feel empty without her

>>733342392
y tho

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This is the farthest photo taken of Earth. At 11.1 billion miles away taken by the Voyager 1 space probe as it leaves the Solar system and enters interstellar space. Crazy isn't it? We're just a small spec inside a endless space. Millions of years of evolution happened on that tiny little pale blue dot. Everything abs anything that ever was happened there. If I had one word to describe this. It'd be. . Lonely.

I walk the halls of my school everyday, responding to the "yo's and sup's" of other kids in my grade, as if they were my actual friends. I make others laugh in class and I do my best to entertain everyone around me. I sit alone at lunch, pretending to watch mindless sports on the cafeteria TV, seeing everyone around we laughing and enjoying their meal. Those people, same guys I laugh and joke with in class, who completely disregard my existence outside of those doors, who would throw me under the bus at the drop of the hat, expect of me to reply to them when they say hello. They expect me to be always be in the best mood because hey; I'm a funny kid. I'm a clown. I make others laugh, but at the end of the day; no one is truly my friend. I hide behind a mask of entertainment but my true face is sad.

>>733342392
bad move, but moving on is prolly the only option
currently in the process of moving on from someone who I thought was the love of my life too.

Even if we were both right and they are the love of our life, we fucked up and we don't really have another option

just gotta find someone who can make us feel the things this last person did. it'll be a long and insufferable journey but it's either that or drown in sadness

>>733342622
you're putting that on yourself
reach out and make some friends, or if your school sucks and is clicky wait until college

>>733342636
How do you move on. Its just been so empty with out her.

>>733342762
I go to private school. I have friends outside of there but it feels like I'm trapped in a prison. Even my old goddamn friends don't feel real. I feel like I'm some sort of Jester, the only reason anyone keeps me around is because I can make them laugh.

Im in love with a 24 yr old boy.
im a 28 yr old woman.
He knows. He doesn't give a shit.
But i still hope. kek

>>733340350
i know theyre not all that way but its hard to commit when you have that mentality of everyone is an asshole. if i get into a relationship ill just be overbearing and untrustworthy

>>733342599
i wanna know how they can connect to that yet my internet cant even hold a solid connection in online games

>>733342818
I'll let you know if I ever get to figure that out myself, but hopefully there's someone out there who can make this person seem like nothing more than an old friend or a distant memory.

Just holding on to that hope

>>733335373
Im becoming you my /b/rother
Start realizing that being alone is my thing
I only have one gf, like 4 years ago, and only last 3 month, and half of that was a total pain in the chest, was really badly.
I get over it, but in the first months was hell in earth
I never been someone "first aid" person, never been someone "bff" I have some good friend, male and female, but in my whole team or "crew" I have never been the first one or the more loved, nobody misses me, nobody text me just to say hi or send some funny stuff

So this is me, I need to get used to it, theres no other thing in this world for me.

>>733343139
Prove it

>>733335434
Noice
Enjoy it bro

>>733342599
In pretty sure pale blue Dot was taken while it was near Saturn... Hence the rings I believe back in 2012 is when it (Voyager) went extra solar

>Moral of the story get gud with science facts faggot

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>>733343916

>>733339937
Thing is b/ro. Everything in my life has been a dissapointment. I also tried to look forward in life. Looking at the glass half full only to realize that its always been empty. I dont believe that i will ever find anyone or that itll be what you tell me it is.

>>733342127
Yea like the worse part is, I know she made the right choice. I would be a shitty bf, she's going to be much happier with him I know. It just sucks bc I don't know how to not be so shitty abt everything

>>733335622
itonlyhurtsalittle.bmp

>>733342392
Just tell her dude, dont expect something good out of that, but just tell her the whole truth, tell her that you love her and if even at that point she still want to be out of your life, very well then, but dont go on until you tell her
Do it bro, that is the best you can do now

>>733343139
I wish a little bit older woman than me feel atracted to me, Im a 23 almost 24 /b/tard
I like older women than me, are more mature, and almost always are very honest in what they want, they dont bullshit around golddigger-ing you or cheating, they just want it or dont want it
Life sucks bro

bump just because. <3

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>>733343799
Me too.

>>733346172
I can't stand to face her. Everytime I see her I get filled with anxiety and dread. But it also makes me happy to see her. I just dont know what to do anymore

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Someone help a neurotic /b/lack man oot

>>733347805
Whats up?

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My story...

>Story starts in late 2008
>Be 23
>Mom's been dead for two years now
>Hated my father because reasons
>Living mostly with grandmother
>Getting job training for residential maintenance
>Fucked up and finished in only 8 months
>Employers want 2 years experience
>Fucking recession
>Took advantage of training program to start at a community college
>Seemed legit, though
>Had a plan:
>My ex lived 300+ miles away
>4+ years of a relationship and we'd been in the same zip code for only 3 and a half months
>Transfer to a school near her
>Effectively got a degree in Whitenighting
>Yeah, complete faggot, I know
>Everything was coming together
>For the first time in my life
>I was taking charge!

>Oh, you poor, dumb bastard...

>>733347805
>>733347891
lets talk bruh

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>>733348529
>January 2009
>Ex catches pneumonia...then her favorite uncle and grandfather die within the month
>She's understandibly frustrated
>I'd become more distant lately
>I can't multitask for shit
>Seriously, I can't talk on the phone and surf the internet at the same time
>Relationship goes to reactor meltdown status
>We tried to salvage it
>May rolls around
>Got the summer all planned out
>Uncle (who has power of attorney over grandma's affairs) won't let me stay there anymore
>Panic sets in
>I don't know how to adult!
>Relationship finally dies for good at the same time
>No reason to transfer schools now...or even keep going
>Get a contact with a guy fixing up apartments for work
>Make a deal with another dude to room with him
>This works out for about two months
>Turns out, dude wasn't paying the rent
>No idea what the fuck he was doing with his money
>Gonna get evicted
>Dude skates out; flees to North Carolina
>Also, did something very stupid at work; got fired
>Yeah, this ain't gonna end well...
>Call this older chick I knew
>Last hope
>Turn for advice
>She offers a deal
>She and another couple were getting ready to move into a bigger apartment
>They could throw me a bone to get me back on my feet
>I agree; they agree
>We move in together August 2009

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>>733348736
>Ten months of hell
>Melodramatic? Yes
>Accurate? Indeed
>New survival plan: keep going to school and use Grant and Scholarship money to buy me time
>Only a minor setback
>We can recover
>I seriously underestimated my expenses
>Barely was able to keep up with rent (and, a couple of times, wasn't)
>Ran out of food more times than I can count
>Went days without eating
>No bus fare at times
>Had a bike for a while
>Would bike a 4 hour round trip to go to classes (and be out of the apartment)
>Even in January and Feburary
>At one point, the bike broke down
>I could scrounge enough change most days to ride the bus
>Except for those two Saturdays I had to walk 6 hours...for a class that was WALKING tours of historical sites.
>What about roommates?
>The couple were chill
>Dude was firm, but fair with me at all times
>His wife was a wonderful woman but plagued by a myriad of mental illnesses
>Docs had her on so many different medications
>First time I experienced someone in the "drug zombie" state
>Still, overall good people
>The chick I met before...dear God
>Complete turboslut
>I think she wanted me for some fucked up reason
>Came home drunk as shit in the first month
>Begged me to fuck her
>I wouldn't
>No condom
>She won't help me find one
>Finger her off
>She doesn't remember
>Glad I didn't
>She's also ultrafertile
>Already has three daughters
>Got pregnant a month later
>And she's bipolar
>And she's off her meds
>They'll affect her breast milk
>Oh, dear God, that woman...
>Goes from sunny and loving to "rip my head off and shit down my neck" in five minutes
>Psycho doesn't even BEGIN to cover it

>>733334925
Why not prostitutes?

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>>733349028
>Meanwhile, having trouble finding work
>My work experience is spotty at best at this point
>Can't even get an interview at the corner gas station
>I'm not looking very hard despite the urgency
>I'm too terrified to ask places if they're hiring
>I have zero confidence that I am a marketable individual
>It snowballed out of control
>I'd be hiding from that psycho bitch every waking moment
>I'm still fuzzy on what I must have done to earn her ire
>Still, I can't stay at the apartment much longer
>Need work
>Freeze up looking for work
>June 2010
>Come back from morning "hiding" at the library
>The wife gives me a very concerned look
>"Anon, we have to talk..."
>See, I'm not on the lease
>Somebody snitched I was there
>Three guesses who
>Either I GTFO or everyone's getting evicted
>So I packed what clothes and books I could into my couple suitcases and my pillow
>The couple expressed their regret that shit went down the way it did
>I understood
>It's my own fault
>They drive me out to the only homeless shelter in the county
>I'm able to get in
>That was the only night I've ever actually cried myself to sleep
>Come close a couple times, both before and since
>This was it, though
>Game Over, man

(cont?)

>>733347891
>know chick for like 2 years
>she gay
>have history of a drunk kisses
>we cool
>recently hang out a lot
>we get sad the same way
>get obsessed
>she likes me, but I have a dick
>see her almost every day though
>blow money on alcohol, cigarettes and weed daily because niggers gon nig
>stays with some dope she unwittingly fucked about five years ago...
cont'd?

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>>733349599
Jesus Christ you are fucking stupid.....

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>>733349599
do it

>>733343471
Fuck that's sad.

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>>733349166
sure im listening

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>tfw it's been 4 years and I still can't get over my high school best friend.

I didn't come to terms that I actually had a crush on her all this time until just recently. I don't know why I can't just forget about her already. I want to move on with my life. Why is this so fucking hard.

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>>733349166
>>733349984

>At this point, I've got nothing
>I had even lost my wallet three months ago
>My licence had expired in that time, anyway
>So, first thing I had to do was get my ID back
>Shelter wouldn't let me stay without photo ID
>No money to my name
>A certain agency could possibly help, though
>IF I have a recognized disability
>Well, shit...
>I had talked many times to the couple (especially the wife) at my last apartment
>She had suggested I seek professional help a couple times in all seriousness
>All right, I'll jump through the hoops I have to
>Not expecting anything
>I'm not sick
>I'm just a colossal faggot
>Still take it completely seriously, regardless of outcome
>Come to find out...
>Well, congrats, Anon
>You're NOT a colossal faggot, after all
>You're a colossal faggot with a documented illness!
>Go me?
>So, anxiety severe enough to "have a significant impact on my quality of life" is good enough to start rebuilding my life
>Wait, what?
>This opens up a whole bunch of help I can access
>Start seeing a therapist
>Get a case manager to help out with paperwork and navigate the maze of services
>Get a job coach to help deal with problems finding work
>It's a slow process
>Still feeling like shit
>Shame piling on shame
>I keep freezing up when deadlines are involved
>Somehow, everything comes together at the last possible second
>First to a sort of halfway house
>Finally, a housing assistance voucher became available
>Income based
>Designed to act as a 2 year buffer to full self-sufficiency
>Finally find a suitable apartment
>Move in Feb 2011
>Had nothing but the clothes, pillow, couple blankets, and an old desktop computer at first
>No furniture
>First apartment is always shitty
>It turned out to be
>But it was MINE

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>>733350403
>Things looking up
>I'm still a bit hard up for food
>Hung in there, though
>Finally got a job
>Shitty fast food job in mall
>Fuck it; I can do this!
>Went into it full of enthusiasm
>Crushed immediately
>I'm only guy working the lunch rush
>Fries, sandwiches...everything's my job
>Cannot keep up
>Other guys can
>Sure, they've got experience...that's what it is!
>Year goes by
>Still cannot keep up
>Failure to live up to own standards crushes every day at work
>Job wears thin
>No other options, though
>Grin and fucking bear it
>Tried to develop a social life now that I've got income
>Start chatting with young dude who closes
>He eventually suggested I come to game night
>"Wow, I've got friends!"
>Haha, not really
>Dudes were more interested in tripping than any games
>Partied with them a couple times
>Found I don't like parties
>Too self-conscious
>Eventually had a falling out with them
>Spazzed out over wanting game night to be Serious Business instead of me watching them trip
>Still chill with the dude from work, though
>Despite this, I find myself craving human contact

it's all good man
ive been depressed
ive been jaded
ive been angry
its all good
baby shit man, it's like no-one's ever had an existential crisis before
i thought it was a part of growing up

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>>733350478
>Managed to draw the attention of the neighbors late May 2012
>Made for a good summer
>Was social, was chill
>Even so, I quickly learn the apartment complex is a fucking ghetto
>Insane amount of drug traffic moves through it
>Hell, one old nigger kept being approached by plainclothes detectives
>Something about a pimping case
>Anyway...
>Met some really good people
>Met some sketchy people
>Met some people people
>Watched a woman, drunk as hell, giving her baby sips of her screwdriver
>Watched a crackhead go down the wrong flight of stairs (to a locked closet) and get stuck for a good five minutes while her man was screaming at her from the car
>Good times
>Made the soul crushing job more bearable
>Until I lost it
>I lost my damned mind
>From mid-September onwards
>Too much stress at work
>Ragequit
>Boss wasn't surprised
>We both knew it was time for me to move on for my own sanity
>Panic sets in once the initial shock wears off
>Still have no confidence in my skills on the job market
>Most job openings are seasonal
>Tried factory work as a younger man and cannot do it
>Want to get a job driving for a company
>No car of my own, though
>Working as best I can with my job coach to put in applications
>I'm getting better at this
>Still stressed out, but more able to focus through it than ever before
>It's not much more
>But it's still more

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>>733350649
>It's now the end of October 2012
>Remember Hurricane Sandy?
>Yeah, we didn't actually get hit by the storm itself
>It linked up with another weather system and parked over us
>It rained nonstop for five days
>The apartment complex is built on a downhill slope
>My place is effectively a basement apartment
>That flooded
>Not a lot
>Just enough to wreck shit
>But wait, there's more!
>Something went wrong with the sink drain line
>Every time the neighbors upstairs would dump water from their kitchen sink, my kitchen would flood
>Hot, greasy water
>No phone, no number to get ahold of anyone
>Still out of work
>Now out of money
>Soon out of food
>Stress is redlining
>Still losing my fucking mind
>I spazz out on all the neighbors for one reason or another
>When I need support the most, I blow it up
>FuckMyLife.webm
>Struggle through November and December
>Can only get to the local food bank once a month
>Doesn't last nearly long enough for my fat ass
>Worst Christmas ever
>Family can't/won't help
>Barely get help for November's rent
>Nothing for December
>And nothing for January...

>>733334925
You know usually feel threads are about depression, getting dumped, or your cat dying etc.... I've been coming here since these were called baww threads and damn son, that's just cringe.

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>>733350717
>I'm working as furiously as I can (which still seems incredibly lazy from the outisde) to save my ass
>It's not working
>Winter always seems to be the worst for me when it comes to despair
>I'm going to lose the apartment
>Even if I get work at this point I'm too far behind
>I still don't want to believe it
>I'm full of shame, hate, guilt, loathing over winding up back where I was in 2009
>Getting a lot of help from the job coach to keep plugging away and fighting through
>Get the eviction notice
>Actually go to the court date
>Judge gives me ten more days to get out
>It's a Friday
>Valentine's Day
>Just my fucking luck, right?
>Still, maybe I can salvage something
>Pack up what I can save
>But there's a small problem
>See, the shelter's full
>Nothing can be done about it
>Case manager tries one in another county
>Some law make it very difficult for "residents" of one county to stay at a shelter in another
>Still, at the last fucking second the right strings get pulled
>Head out to the neighboring county; I can crash there until a bed is open in mine
>After everything, it's actually a relief to leave that apartment
>I hadn't had a hot shower in over a year and a half
>Dispute with the gas company over a bill
>Washed in tub with water heated on the sink/brought over in buckets from the laundry room
>One of the first things I did was take that long, hot shower
>I lay down that first night
>"It's gonna work out all right, Anon"
>A bed opened up back in county by Monday
>Here we go again

I'm a fuck up, I always WILL be a fuckup (at the BARE minimum because I keep saying shit like that), and people STILL tell me my life has meaning. I don't understand how my parents don't resent me for being such a leech.
Hell, I can't even give enough of a fuck about myself to nuke food when I'm hungry, but somehow, my mom manages.
I'm not an adult, I'm a fucking stunted child with a grown up body and my only coping mechanism is escapism.

I can't even fucking kill myself right, and I've wanted to die since 3rd grade...

>>733350939
Bawwww thread, mane that's going back a long time.

>>733351109
chill fgt

>>733336064
Stop being her friend. It'll kill you if you still have these deep seated feelings. Don't get me wrong, be cordial and you can stay acquaintances, but unless you have kids together there's no reason to be super close.

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>>733351026
>This time, things were a little different
>For one thing, regulations had changed all over the place
>People abusing the system
>I've only got 45 days
>Also, my tax return was due to show up in my bank account soon
>Instead of being broke and hungry I was able to keep my morale up
>Still, things move slowly when dealing with government funded programs
>Get into mid-March
>Happy 28th birthday, Anon!
>Still hanging in there
>A different housing assistance becomes available
>Case manager and I are filling out paperwork and gathering forms
>Finish it up on a Thursday
>Decisions will be made that coming Monday morning
>This is critical
>I can get an extension at the shelter IF I CAN GET THIS!
>I get a phone call Friday
>Case manager
>"Anon, we missed a form. Can I see you Saturday?"
>Motherfucker shows up on his day off so we can get this done
>Slides it into the dropoff 8:30 Monday morning
>Literal last fucking second
>We're meeting at 10 that morning
>He gets a call shortly after we meet
>Got the voucher!
>So much relief
>Hunt up an apartment
>Find one that's recently been renovated
>Everything checks out
>Rent a box truck
>Get some furnature from a second hand charity
>Lived here over three years now
>Stabilized my life some
>Tried to go back to college
>Engineering this time
>Didn't work out yet again
>Always burned out right at the end of the semester
>Once missed two weeks of classes right before finals from paralyzing anxiety (over literally nothing)
>Took some loans this time
>Considered it an investment in self
>Was able to buy a beater pickup
>Still short of money occasionally
>Started delivering pizza three years ago
>Wanted it to just be a summer gig
>Still doing it today
>Love my job, despite the occasional bullshit
>Boss is great
>Coworkers put up with my shit (and the occasional spazz moment)
>I get satisfaction from bringing joy to people, even if for a brief moment

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>>733351366
Epilogue:

>Yet, after all of this, I'm still afraid
>I'm afraid history will repeat yet again
>I'm afraid I'll do something insanely stupid at work and lose my job
>I'm afraid to try to change jobs and move up to another delivery job that pays a little better
>I'm afraid this weakness will crush me
>I'm afraid of myself
>I'm afraid of my fear
>I keep reliving these feels, guys
>I'm alone, afraid, and unsure of myself
>All I can do is keep going, as best as I can
>But what if my best isn't good enough?
>I've fallen so hard in so many ways
>My life is pretty good
>But I can't enjoy it

>>733343139
how frequently do you switch crushes? how often do you think you're in love with someone else?

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>>733351432
Anon from my experience you just gotta forget about the past because it will just distract you from the future. Keep your head up and make friend, you never know when you'll meet that friend who will get your back in a tight spot.

>>733352001
Way easier said than done for me. It's not a conscious choice to get smacked with feeling as if I've failed at everything in life.

You're not wrong; I've just never been able to put things to rest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GatpGFlMcAE

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>>733334248
every fucking day...

>>733343139
I was 24, my gf was 28 when we met. Sounds good to me.

I had a 30 year old fall for me when I was 21 though. That didn't end well for her. But 24 and 28 is pretty normal.

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>>733343471
fuck

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>>733343139
> 28
let's face it, you're 30

>>733343471
this kinda shit is real but rare as all fuck
how many people have baseball sized brain tumours in tricky places?

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Not really feels but maybe an anon would like to hear this.
>be 23
>wake up every morning, shower, go to work from 10-430 doing IT
>haven't seen gf in 3 months, going on 4
>we're long distance but planning on moving in once she transfers to a 4 year
>love her, but she's the only reason why I get up
>that and food/weed
>started smoking a year ago, just because I never went through the high school weed smoking phase
>literally stones every fucking day
>time it so that when she's at work, I smoke uninterrupted
>she hates me smoking weed but accepts that it helps
>but she doesn't know I smoke everyday
>try to curb it, but I have no hobbies other than working and sleeping
>been in this rut for a while, getting stir crazy
>enough is enough, I need to do something to improve myself
>decide to see family
>ask for a few days off and drive 5 hours to see them
>turns out my mom has been cheating on my stepdad
>4th Fucking time
>why do I even bother coming if all I hear is drama
>never thought it would happen in my family
>waiting to go back home to work
>I actually can't wait to go back to work because it gives me a purpose
>promised myself that I'll hit the gym this week
It's the TLDR; version.

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bumpa

late night thinking, April 5th, this year. I found my girlfriend with her throat cut and her stomach cut and a bag of pills half empty next to her unconscious body in a bathroom. If I hadn't been there to pick her up she'd be dead. I saved her fucking life and that's a lot to understand it's still hard to fathom a month later.
Sorry I started my own feels thread and didn't know one was already here. Copy pasta'd to here.

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Come on anons, share more feels.

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>>733334248
bunch of nigars here just need to go join some fightclub and get their libs busted up by some fuckers.

yo fuckers need to wake up your primal instincts again - go do something fucking crazy.

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i'll never let these threads die

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Really into this guy I know. I just told him, he said he isn't into guys but I don't buy that shit, how to proceed without seeming creepy or forceful/desperate.

man im drunk and my shrink said to stop drinking

>>733343471
I saw this thread, poor fella. If Heaven doesn't exist I will get pretty pissed

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>>733343599

>>733353194
That's a lot of high-school-level bullshit.

I want wonderful things to be handed to me -- like money and pussy and respect -- without having earned any of it. Then once I'm set for life (and everyone I care about is also set for life, and THEIR kids are set for life) I want to spend the rest of my life being happy and content.

>if you REALLY wanted that then you'd figure out some way to get it

Uh no. I said I wanted things handed to me that I didn't deserve.

>then figure out...how...to... uh...

Yeah. Horseshit like this really pushes my buttons.

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>>733343471
to Valhalla

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>>733353078
Fuck, that hits close to home

>>733353078
my grandma has alzheimer too but im souless as fuck, no feels here man

>>733351432
Just wow man, what are you afraid of? You're fucking Superman without a cape, whatever life throws at you now won't even make tickles. If you survived all this shit you can survive anything

>>733352165
Failed everything? Kek

You've been to hell and told the Devil to fuck himself. Just enjoy your victory and wait for the next round, which might be shitty, but I'm sure you can handle.

>>733353254
Fuck fighting for the sake of fighting. I want something meaningful to die for

>>733354616
>dying is important

>>733354378
I survived because people took pity on me. Now I'm walking the tight rope of life without a net. If I fuck up at work where am I going to find another job I can actually DO without spazzing out too badly? If my car dies for good I don't have the income to afford a payment. I cannot STOP seeing disaster. All therapy did was let me see this more clearly; I'm no more capable to deal with shit than I was back then.

>>733354560
I appreciate the sentiment. I do feel this way on my good days.

>>733354838
bruh that's fucked
look out for you, forget the past, forget other people
shit's hard right? why worry about shit you can't control? get yours or die

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>>733351432
Anon, ive never read someones feels story this fucking long before, and ive been /b/rowsing for many years. i may not have anxiety to your extent, but youve made me realize that im not alone in feels atleast. and thats something, thats enough at least. so thank you for sharing man, and i hope one day you can learn to enjoy your life, if not for your sake, than for everyone here who read your story. dont stop man, you got this shit.

>pic related, my luck.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Pp9DC56hh8

Every time I think I'm happy, I eventually walk past a mirror and remember why I have to try to be happy. I fucking hate myself so much

Coming to the realization that you have to end a literal life long friendship because that friend is contributing nothing to your life sucks.
Knowing they won't even notice sucks even worse.

>>733335373
are you a decent looking guy?

or is it your personality that the problem

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fuck it, il post my feels.

>graduate high school in 2011
>think "thank god im finnaly fucking done, life is gonna be so easy from here
>neverbeensowrong.jpg
>cant hold down a job
>worked seasonal at gamestop since i was 17
>manager was a cool guy
>said "as soon as a part time spot opens up its yours
>guess that part time spot never opened up
>or more likely he just didnt like my work ethic
>feel like its shit
>part because i can be lazy
>and part because if im not getting paid to do it why fucking do it
>staying with parents through all this
>skip forward 2013
>lazily look for jobs now and then
>browse /b/ nightly
>get drunk off my ass
>have "friends" i talk to on xbox but they would never understand the feels
>cant talk to anyone
>cant afford therapist
>dont know whats wrong with me
>no motivation to do anything
>always wanted to be a firefighter
>dad is a firefighter
>join volunteer dept. out of high school
>loved it at first felt like i fit in for awhile
>felt like i wasnt living up to the standards everyone had for being the son of a really badass captain
>good friend dies while on call
>performed CPR on him myself
>heart exploded in his chest
>feel like i did nothing but make his last moment more uncomfortable
>around this time (2013) start to realize he would be in more pain than i could have imagined
>no way i could have made it worse
>finnaly hear from my mom one of her customers (another company) is hiring
>go up there dressed nice
>have absolutely no confidence il get the job
>owner shows me around shop
>ends back up at front and says "so when can you start
>completely taken back "tomorrow" i stammer back

These last few weeks have been hell, I've tried to be happy for her, I could have been so much more for her but I guess I'm just not her type. I'm going to be lonely, it's unfortunate but there's nothing I can do about it.

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>>733355187
All I really want is to be OK with who I am consistently. It's the old idea of "not living up to your potential." I was raised with a mix of Old School parenting and the crap that makes Millennials so shitty. I was praised because I learned easily as a young child but was beaten when I got poor grades. Bullied all through junior high; mostly ignored in high school. You know, fairly typical stuff for anyone shitposting here.

But I'm not OK. I may never be OK. And I'm not OK with that...which bothers me.

>>733351432
How did you even survive all of that? I mean , I know it was tough and all that shit but I would've given up. I'm glad that you got yourself out of those situations tho. But I think I can tell that you're still in the same boat tho. All I can really say is, try to keep moving forward with your life and be a survivor.

>>733354838
Bullshit, you survived because they gave you a fucking stick to fight a bear and somehow you still managed to win. You should be thankful for the stick, but it wasn't everything. C'mon man, you biked four hours and even after your bicycle broke you kept going, only this is already cinema-worthy shit. You just can't realize your strength.

So what if your car dies? So what if you lose this job? You'll survive and get back on your feet again because you're fucking Gatti (watch Ward vs Gatti I)

>I'm walking the tight rope of life without a net
Do you know why? Because you don't need nets. You might be the strongest fella I've seen here, please realize that.

You talk about pity but you can't see that almost everyone can count on their families, without this you still managed to get a relatively nice life. For christ's sake, the house gave you a bad hand and you still made they bankrupt.

Your only problem is your pessimistic view, rewire your brain to expect the good and just consider the bad as a remote possibilty

In 2 weeks I planned on ending my life
I've made my preparations, I've paid off my few debts, I have no friends, I'm thoroughly convinced my family is done with me, and I quit my job
But this girl, a longtime friend that just fucking vanished at one point, came into my life again
She makes me feel human again
She makes me feel like I'm worth something
She tells me that I hold a special in her heart
I would say she's beautiful but that word does her no justice
She says if I moved there we could actually be together
But I can't help but feel she'll leave again
That everything she told me was a lie
That she's toying with me
Now I'm not sure if I can do it
The thought of a life with her gives me the motivation to carry on
But what if it's all a lie?

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>>733355735
Cont.

>keep job for about 6 months
>feel like im finnaly about to be able to be an adult for once
>maybe make parents proud
>one guy who is a huge druggie stops doing his job
>in order to do my job he has to do his job
>need the shit he creates to build on to
>do both jobs for about 2 months
>tell manager
>manager and guy are good friends from high school says "il talk to him"
>dude never did his job
>recieve waiver on desk i need to sign essentially saying "il never tell another company how we do shit"
>sign it and think nothing of it
>go back to doing nothing cause i have no shit to build on to
>get fired the next day
>first truck is fucking up bay
>never buy dodge
>had nothing but problems since i bought the damn thing
>went through two transmissions
>replaced them both myself
>barely 19 and doing shit 30 year old mechanics dont like doing
>drive home in shame
>return to my hovel on /b/
>continue this pattern until my mom says her shop needs help
>its only temporary
>owner says "dont wanna play favorites by hiring the managers son"
>understandable from a professional stand point i suppose
>get along great with coworkers
>do good work
>most people dont last a week in busy season
>busy season only time i work
>work there 4 months atleast
>2015 now
>they finnaly let me go
>return to /b/
>mom's shop still cant find anyone to replace me effectively
>still refuses to hire me
>still understand i suppose
>havent had a GF since high school
>lost my virginity when i was 19 to some fat chick on tinder
>w/e didnt want it anyways
>she was terrible lay
>around this time meet good friend again from middle school
>me and other friends on xbox start invinting him to parties
>meet his fiance
>all good friends for awhile
>spend most of 2015 drunk, high, and jobless
>hate my life but just keep going saying itll get better eventually, il catch a break

>be 19
,>Hanging out with best friend that is girl all the time.

>Have gf that I do drugs with and fuck. Doing drugs on the regular
>Tell best friend all my problems and trials with gf and share deeper connection than with gf
>Loose control of my mind after she cheats on me
>Develop schizophrenia
>4years of suffering and the ultimate hell
> Get back with my highschool sweetheart
> Fall in Love with highschool sweetheart all over again
>Still can't stop thinking about old best friend.
> Talks to old best friend behind us sweethearts back.
>Finds out she has a thing for male best friend
> Tries to accept it
> Literally madly in love with best friend
> Can't be with her.
> Contemplates suicide on the daily

>>733356191
Dude, don't ignore a sign. You were all set to go and this happens, what do you make of it? Give It a try, worst (or best in your case) that can happen is death

>>733354714
This is literally going on my wall

reading all these im privileged as fuck but damn fuck my antisocial self
I've never had a gf or any of that shit no consistent friendships nothing
I mean im not going to die or anything but jesus chirst help me

>>733334248
what an annoying faggot

are you the green text OP???

>>733356242
Don't even bother about this virginity stuff, pussy is pussy in all women

>>733356191
Try it out. I'm not too keen on the idea of someone killing themselves. But if it doesn't work out the way you wanted it to, you can still follow on that plan of killing yourself.

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>>733356242
>2016 rolls around
>middle school friend and now wife (also now friends with me) having marital troubles
>try my best to help
>project my desires on to them
>friends wife isnt best looking girl but she tries
>she cooks his food
>washes his clothes
>loves hanging out with us
>plays xbox with us
>he does nothing to help
>doesnt appreciate her
>try to talk to him
>want them to work out because none of my relationships ever did
>things always start to get better with them
>then he fucks it up by doing exactly what he did before
>hes immature
>"i swear its like hes my fucking child sometimes like i have to drag him around with me" -friends wife
>think to self "even if it was shit i hated doing id still do it because id want my wife happy, even if it meant my suffering or boredom
>still try to help them as best i can
>christmas 2016
>shit completely changes
>she absolutely hates her marriage
>hates her life
>just wants out
>gives her pistol to another friend of ours cause shes afraid she will use it on herself
>shes always had depression issues
>outside smoking a black n mild
>really cold outside, lightly drizzling
>we go back inside half frozen after having a nice chat
>they got into a big fight earlier and he went into their bedroom and got on his pc
>we sit on couch with other 2 friends and watch them play games and youtube vids
>my leg touches hers
>super warm, dont even noticed until about 5 mins later
>"s-sorry" -me
>"no its fine" - her
> move my leg away anyways, respect their marriage
>get a text from her while shes next to me
>you didnt have to move your leg, were both freezing
>think nothing of it and reply "oh i just figured you'd be uncomfortable with it"
>"nope"
>dont move leg back
>on trip back recieve text from her
>she really opens up to me
>hates her life
>her best memories are times when we are together
>dont realize it but feel the same way
>tell her "but youre married, and to <friend>"
>" i know and i wish i never had..."

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>>733334925
You are hero

>>733356457
other people are for gays :^)
(/spoiler/)sadd kunt(/spoiler/)

>>733351366
You may just be low IQ (explains being slower than all those around you), but in developed worlds they're not allowed to diagnose low IQ. But below 85 (15% of the populous), there's pretty much no good jobs anymore. Pizza delivery person is a great job for that!

tried to repair my truck and just fucked things up even more

gonna have to pay for a tow to a mechanic and a way more expensive fix now

i'm unemployed and broke; I was trying to save money and DIY so I could afford gas / insurance and shit for job interviews

fuck me nothing is going right

>>733356298
Yeah, you're probably right
I guess I'm just too afraid of her leaving a second time
Might as well give it a shot

>>733356740
True
Maybe I can try to scrape together what I have and fly out there, see where things go

>>733356812
I had an IQ test done when I was in junior high and, while I don't remember the exact number, it was over 130. I qualified for a program where the "smart" kids would go to a college campus and do "smart kid" things (I don't actually remember doing anything substantial at the time.)

However, I don't put much stock in IQ. I'm intelligent enough but...off. There might be some autism involved but that doesn't mean shit as an adult. Besides, I think my mother worked very hard to beat any autism out of me as a child.

>>733357190
>I don't put much stock in IQ
thank you

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>>733356744
>have long talk about what she wants to do
>find out shes moving out and about to live with her coworker
>couple months go by
>talk to her objectively
>tell her how i feel about her
>how i wish she was mine
>but how i would never want to be responsible for ruining a marriage
>she says she doesnt want that either
>that shes divorcing him because She wants to
>to make Her life better
>2017 now
>divorce isnt finalized but close
>tell her entire time i dont want this because
>want to make sure shes not leaving him for me
>"im not anon, im leaving him because i cant stand him."
>good just making sure
>get job with moving company
>coworkers nice
>soak my shirt every day in sweat from moving shit
>absolutely hate moving couches
>but overall best job ive ever had
>a month in my manager calls me in for a review
>"anon youre a good worker, and ive been told you know what youre doing and you work quick."
>"thank you sir i try my best, i like working here"
>"ive heard... which is why that makes this so much harder...."
>lose job
>apparently im too much of a fatass to keep up
>"liability"
>understand once again, dont wanna cost the company avoidable money by getting injured
>tell gf
>"its okay anon youll find another one im sure of it"
>never had this much confidence in self
>got that job For her, Because of her
>because i didnt want to spend all Her money spending time together
>still trying to find another job
>she still loves me
>our relationship is honest and strong
>have commitment issues
>weve both discussed our futures
>that were in this for the long haul
>sometimes get scared
>think i cant do this
>have doubts in myself
>that maybe il fuck up
>that i should just save her the pain of dealing with me fucking up big time later by breaking up now
>dont want to go back to being depressed 2015 self
>24 years old
>no job
>have a gf who loves me knowing all this
>and still managing to fuck shit up for myself

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>>733357335
i have 0 confidence in myself

and the massive amount that she gives me i have no idea what to do with

im so afraid of losing her that i might lose her myself

she isnt my first girlfriend but definitely the first one that i feel actually wants to have a future with me

and im trying my hardest to break through my fears, to not fall back into familiar patters.

im fighting alcoholism, tobacco, and the hardest opponent, myself.

i feel so outnumbered and scared, but despite all this she still loves me, and i actually feel it.

i know this isnt a normal feels post, but thats just it, i dont WANT this whole story to be posted again in a year but with a generic feels ending.

That it all began how it started, that il be back here, again, alone, scared, and too afraid to live yet yearning more than anything to simply do so...

>>733357584
Damn

>>733338778
be your own doctor, read about how the brain works (I suggest promethius rising by robert anton wilson.) Also, learn about your own neurochemistry. Take LSD/ Mushrooms/ MDMA/ DMT/ or any traditional psychedelic. "Oh but anon, I cant find those things." well, go look harder, they're around and they can do incredible things. Mall food court on 4 hits of decent LSD mostly cured me of my own inflated sense of self importance (AKA social anxiety) They're looking at me/talking about me/ thinking about me/ i'm late, theyre all going to stare when i come in/ blah blah blah. No way am I that fucking important.
Anyway, be your own doctor anon. Cure yourself. Belief is a powerful tool

>>733357584
You don't need to be scared bcs you're outnumbered, you have the whole /b/ with you faggot

>>733334248
> 7 years ago I used to have friends
> people drift apart
> back at the end of 2015 I got some terrible news
> guess I'm stuck in the past
> smoking the same cigarettes as her
> listening to the same music

fuck.

>>733357678
Not that Anon, but I've wanted to try this for years.

No trip buddy, though, and I'm not sure I trust myself to trip solo, especially for the first time.

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>>733357684
>>733357676
thanks man, to a sane human being that wouldnt mean shit but here... that actually means something. thanks.

>>733338884
thankfully nothing is permanent. It'll get worse, or better, or just different- but thank god it will never be the same.

"Even in our sleep pain falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own dispair, against our will, comes wisdom by the awful grace of god."
_Aechelus

>>733357843
>To a sane human being that wouldnt mean shit but here

Kek, yeah. Somehow I love this hole

>>733357678
If you are going to trip anon, a couple things:

1. Bring a tripsitter, please fucking do.
2. Start slow, very slow.
3. Be comfortable in your setting, be comfortable in your mind. If depressed, or anxious, DO NOT take psychedelics. Especially not 4 hits. Thats a lot.
4. Be ready to be disturbed and to see yourself in a new, more honest light.
5. Do not go overboard. If you get the call and receive the message, its time to put the phone down.
6. TEST. YOUR. SHIT. Lest you can poisong yourself with shit that isnt LSD.

Psychedelics can be great for self-knowledge/improvement, but they can be nuclear bombs to your psyche and sanity. Be very careful.

>>733357836
I mean, you can start with low doses, you can find a friend to just sit with you, you can go wander a woods or a town or whatever. (being outside is great) for me friends sometimes provoke weird expectation based 'delusions'

Psychedlics are by no means an easy road, you can do just as much harm as you can benifit your life. Your playing around with your learned functions, your programming as it were. we are not our programming, were the person programming ourself.
You can have some amazing, creative, and magical times of lsd or mushrooms

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You guys have been better friends than the few I've had IRL
Thank you

>>733336779
>What is Mobizen
>what is iFunBox/ADB
There are ways around this, anon

>>733358219
no, thank you.

faggot.

>>733358219
how do grils even engage?

>>733358219
Here's something to blow your mind open:

This IS Real Life. I'm real. You're real. All the faggots on this board, this website, this internet...they're real people, too. Just because you can't see a face and we all hide behind our carefully constructed anonymity (or, at least, I do...) doesn't make us any less real.

Stop worrying about "friends IRL." You've got them.

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>>733343471
F

>>733358405
woah but i can't fuck anon now can i? I can't get intimite with /b/.

>>733358505
I N T I M I T E

>>733358405
Based

>>733358505
Intimacy comes in many forms. We bare our souls to each other and share our darkness. Sure, I can't touch you and you can't touch me.

That shouldn't cheapen this experience.

Not with that attitude you can't

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRjYZrWajU0

https://youtu.be/wRjYZrWajU0

>>733358644
>>733358505

>>733358405
Fucking eye opener indeed

I'm being used by a girl I love for emotional support because her significant other can't.. And it sucks. Only thing I can do about it is post my shitty story on feels threads.
>I should off myself

It feels like in life we're all chasing our own unique identity in a sea of similarity, everyone tries to break away in the same ways and only some make it.

"life isnt fair" is the single greatest lesson i've learnt to this day because its true, life isnt fair and thats what helps me cope.

Following dreams is so daunting because everyone wants to, at some point, and we are all limited to dreams of the same scope what truly makes one dream worth more than another?
>be me
>young and already in a dead end job
>have dreams I want to chase
>afraid of leaving secure financial situation
>terrified of wasting my life in said situation

>>733358808
Serious cuck shit.
Looks like you need to fuck shit.
And move on with your dysfunction.

>>733359187
I guess, though... It's a dysfunction to have cared for her?

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i just really feel like ending it all right now, i don't even know how to describe how unhappy i am.
she was the cure for my heartache, talking to her made it all go away but i haven't talked to her in weeks, i was always the one reaching out to her and i feel like i was forcing the friendship, i guess i was

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>>733359516
i wish love didn't hurt so much

>>733353427
>he said he isn't into guys
offer him a blowjob.
if he declines, nothing lost.
if he accepts, show him that only you can suck the living shit out of him.
he won't ever go back if you know how to give a proper succ.
i hope you do know how to succ.

>be me
>24 year old and just an introvert but not a sperh
>just move to new state
>spend 3 months there
>move into new town there
>first day we get a uhaul for our furniture and shit
>shatter ankle so badly it needs surgery
>painkillers dont work
>get better painkillers
>they dont work
>have surgery
>now i have 11 screws and 2 metal plates in there i can constantly feel
>its been a week since my surgery
Ive kindof wanted to die for a long time, but now i want to die as soon as i wake up.

sad bump

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>>733334248
My friends are out drinking again without even asking me if I wanted to come. They've been doing this for a while now. They aren't even hiding it anymore. I finally understand what Robin Williams was saying. "Surrounded by people that make you feel lonely" or something like that. At least you guys are with me

>>733338790
I can vouch for this

>>733336064
Look what happened to Jim and Pam on The Office, go for her. Be a man!

>>733333333

>>>733333333

>>733341228
Short term, it's great relieve but it will fuck you up even more. Trust me it's not. I've been in that exact position

>>733347791
Don't bother. She does not love you.
And you did what you did because you wanted to see her reaction and attention from her.
You will survive and hopefully learn to be sincere

>>733351905
i only had 1 bf and that was 6 yrs ago. This is the first time that I can say i really am in love with this boy... a boy. Fuck.

>>733343471
Oh my god

>>733352607
lol why would i lie in this place it's not like I'm looking for a hook up. Brain dead.

>>733362528
>why would i lie in this place
people lie on the internet all the time.

but of course not me.
i'm genuinely a 16 year old hot white girl with 36DDs and an ass that's out of this world.

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how ya fellas doin tonight? took 700mg of dramamine about 30 minutes ago, gonna kill myself in a couple hours. anyone else leaving soon too?

>>733362715
i'm sorry anon

>>733350250
I got over my middle school crush last year. I'm 21 so i don't know if that makes me a colossal faggot or whatever but I don't care. Evey one heals at their own pace

>>733341670
C U C K

Women love assholes, and you aren't one

Suck it up

>>733362783
no need to be sorry. ive been meaning to do it for years

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>meet someone
>hit it off well
>tell him some private information (nothing major, but something i don't want everyone to know)
>they go and tell literally everyone, this includes family
>act like it's my fault when i'm upset because "you should have expected this"

Why? Why are there people like this? Who goes and just betrays someone's trust like that so blatantly? What fucking reason?

>>733334925
Post em

>>733351432
Fucking amazing. Thank you. You struggled on long after the point anyone else would have quit. Your story gives me the determination to move on from my situation. Again, thank you. Never give up

>>733351432
Someone screen cap

>>733362691
k.

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> 20
> Meets girl
> First one in over a year thats grabbed my attention
> We hang out
> Goes really fucking well
> Talk non stop for two weeks
> Confesses she has biopolar
> Support her
> She tells me im to good for her , and removes me on everything
> Check her facebook and other things on another account
> Shes deleted it

I hope shes ok :(

>>733335622
This exact shit happened to me recently

>>733335683
What are you, some stupid dick? Love is about HER MAKING HAPPY GOD DAMN IT

FUCK OFF

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>>733363585
Go to her flat if she makes you happy. Don't let her bipolarity fuck both of your happiness.

(That is if she makes you happy. If she's pulling you down with her you should let her leave you alone. She's gonna hate herself for pulling you down too, and everyone is gonna be feeling like shit.)

>>733363019
simple: back stabbers

get used to it, a lot of people like that out there

>>733352997
I'm pretty much in the same situation: seeing my girlfriend again in 3 months, until now I'm a mess and just smoke and eat, I guess seeing friends also helps. You're not alone in this shit anon don't worry it'll end soon enough

>>733363019
Because people are generally shitty and they are only in it for them. If you don't give them a reason to care they never will.

>>733334925
mega?

>>733354488
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk

>>733361515
fukccccccccccccccccc

>>733334635
No follow through on suicide threat
> weak

this song goes for anyone that knows spanish
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mBoAxFgALI

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bumperino

I'm wearing a hat and jumper cause i just want to feel cozy and have a hug.

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bamp

don't let the thread die :c

I am able to enjoy life without a girlfriend, there are no two ways about that. Everything else in my life is going pretty great. Sometimes I just miss that connection and contact. I have resigned myself to the prospect of living with only friends and family in my life. It is freeing but also disappointing. I feel like a failure of evolution.

True words anon
>Was with my dad as he breathed his last breath. (Melanoma that started on his heel check yourself.)
>The night befor he died. He couldn't really say much because of the fentanyl but I told him I loved him he said it back (maybe for the 4th time in 32 years) >Then he shut his eyes and said his last words "I'm sorry"
>He died with my mother and I beside him the next morning.

I died a little on that day as well.

>>733366610
i hope you are ok man

>>733335373
Online relationships are a thing anon
Plenty of quirky thirsty women out there

>>733366143
.... fuck

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>>733335373

ive come to realize its me, not everyone else. theres nothing here for anyone to connect to. im missing "something" that most other people seem to have. im going to be alone for the rest of my life. i should just get used to it. easier said than done.

>>733335683
your a idiot

>>733366780
Thanks. It was a while back. But shit has me down right now, having way to many thoughts on being an hero.
Hopefully I can right the ship.
Thanks again.

>>733353912
>wanting things handed to you
now that's the real high school level bullshit dude

>>733367138
yes sure you'd love to be that special of a snowflake don't you anon. It's easier to tell yourself you don't have the thing than getting out of your comfort zone and actually practising that thing, so scaryyyy

>start speaking to a guy I get on well with online
>find out he lives near-by
>start talking about dating shit, both are interested in eachother
>meet up, chill, fuck. good times all around
>things still going well, feels like we could actually start dating instead of just talking about it
>couple months down the line, decide to move in together
>not even the slightest bit of interest shown in me once we moved in together
>tied in to the house for 2 years
>my existence is barely noticed when all i want to do is show him affection, but too beta to say anything about it

feels pretty bad

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>>733369012

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all you people who talk about how miserable you are because some girl in high school broke your heart disgust me. ive had my heart broken repeatedly. your heads are so far up your own asses that you think something as mundane as a breakup is some profound life changing event. relationships end no matter what and in the end it all amounts to the same thing.

bumperino