Tinder stories?

>Once upon a time I met a chick from Tinder and fucked her all night long
>She flew out of town the next day
>/THEEND

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>>733273721
I met my girlfriend there and I regret we got together.

>>733274839
wow, I've never had any luck banging a chick on tinder.. how'd you manage that?

>matched with a girl ten years younger than me
>met up, but made no moves on her
>went home
>"why didn't you kiss me anon"
>Idk lol
>met up next night
>best sex of my life
>moved on

>>733275081
She was horny and visiting my city on a business trip. She wanted some Dick and didn't have to worry about anyone important finding out.

Man, OK so this one time this chick shows up and she's fat as hell and I'm like whatever as long as she's got a vagina I'll probably albeit reluctantly smash anyway. She brought her friend with her and they were both drunk so, loud annoying and just uncomfortable to be in a situation with like I could lay low it it was me and my train wreck by ourselves but she brought reinforments for some crazy reason. Texted my roommate and managed to bail on them, she tried to get me to go over to her place across town to fuck. She was like not remotely as brushed up as her picture and like 200 pounds heavier than advertised.

>>733275300
[Mexican Eyebrow Twitch]

>>733275509
gross.. was her friend hot?

I met a girl who had a fiance and was engaged. They're married now. She was ultra religious (i'm from south carolina) and said she was just looking to make friends, but when we started snapping she constantly sent selfies in her PJ's with tons of clevage etc. Ended up meeting up with her at a shitty hotel so we could "hangout" she insisted she wasnt a slut and didnt have sex before marriage, but we were at the hotel room for maybe a whole min before she asked if i would tell anyone if she cheated on her fiance. Obv i said no, and that i figured thats what she wanted and before i could finish even saying that she got on her knees and was taking my shorts off. She was absolutely crazy but the best sex i ever had. Find you a crazy christian girl.

Met a chubby gothic chick on tinder, we fucked, watched anime, she fed me these weird breads with stuff baked into them, and I left. Open invitation to come back and do her again.

I met a skinny redhead on tinder. We fucked while her sister (and roommate) was out of the apartment. I tend to make fuck-sessions last a while, and start them back up a few times, so her sister came home while she was screaming "fuck me daddy." She felt awkward when she heard keys on the countertop. I didnt care. kept fuckin. I made eyes at the older sister when I went for water. Lol she didnt know what to make of it.

Matched with black girls on tinder. Didnt pursue because i dont want aids and beastiality is illegal.

Matched with a freaky 30 year old hottie on tinder. We fucked several times before she told me she was not divorced yet. I never went back because I'm not trying to get shot.

>>733275509
faggot you shoulda railed them both.

>say "hey"
>doesn't respond

>>733275970
"bestiality is illegal" kek

>>733276120
fucking accurate.. what I do to get a response is say their name in all caps.. for example "SARAH!!!" 8/10 times they'll respond

What should I write in my bio?

>>733276303
LOL what a freak.

I am >>733275970 , I have success on tinder, and I literally just say "Hi, I'm Jack. Its a pleasure."
It helps being attractive, though.

On a scale 1-10 how attractive

>>733276303
I will give this a test run and report back

>>733276544
hey, it fucking works ok? I just have yet to hangout with someone off Tinder..

>Matched with petite short chick. She was pretty cute and innocent looking. Small tits but cute ass.
>We go to same uni
>Meet up at uni
>Go on meeting her up for about a week like that
>She offers to go out on weekend
>Go to a bar , drink a bit, dance a bit
>She offers to go to her appartement
>We go in, I take off my jacket
>She is looking at me with those fuck me eyes
>"Why dont you take the rest off"
>Autismo a bit because Im a bit stunned, we just went trough the door and she already is down.
>Me: "Are you serious ?" She : "Yeah"
>Well ok... start taking off my shirt, taking off my belt, she comes up and starts rubbing my dick
>We go to the couch, she undresses I undress
>Kiss for a bit
>She gets on top rides for a bit
>Gets off gets in the doggy style position, tells me she likes it the most that way
>Hit it from the back for a while
>Bust a nut on her ass
>What was awkward after that is she asked me "Couldn't you get to the bathroom" She was the first chick that objected to getting jizzed on, but I mean cmon, do people actually hold their nut and run to the bathroom ?
>Stay the night
>About to go to sleep and she starts getting horny again
>Starts rubbing on me
>Fuck again, and again a I jizz on her, this time on her stomach, fuck that bitch I am not running to the bathroom to bust a nut lol

Kept meeting up with her for a bit, got laid a couple more times, but eventually started ignoring her because meh, felt like it wouldnt work out with her and I wasnt like head over heels for her, just wanted to fuck to be honest.

>matched with skinny girl, chatted a while
>she suggested coming home
>arrives, not really cute, I would say 6/10
>but
>her smell
>fucking disgusting smell, at a very short distance, like a shit-aura covering her
>if you are at more than two centimetres from her, you can't feel it, it's a really close defensive feature of her
>kissing for like fifty seconds, I couldn't stand it, told her i had to go to the bathroom
>stayed in the bathroom not knowing what to do
>went back, told her to leave because I was feeling ill
>never answer her again

>tinder notification
>open tinder
>match with hot girl
>it's a bot
>close tinder

>>733277175
I knew a girl from school who literally shit herself, she got up from her chair and there was poop on the seat.. her smell was horrendous aswell

>>733277428
Why would she do that

>>733276673
like a 7.5 or an 8 in the face.
like a 8.5 in the body when I fast for a day (get cut bros)
and an 8 inch penor with a piercing.
Plus I'm white, have a full head of hair, and I am a great conversationalist.
Zero sense of humor, though. I dont make girls laugh at all. I always envy people who do.

>>733276877
I am sure it works for starting a convo, but when you are trying to get your fuck on, the girl needs to feel comfortable that you are sane and stable. Every time I fuck a girl from tinder, it happens the same day we decide we are attracted to eachother.
Actually, that was a lie. The redhead took a while.
But all the others (7) didnt.

OP here, you guys have any tips so I can get my nut with a tinder hoe? it will be appreciated

>>733273721
>meet 17 year old girl from Toronto
>she has a bf of 2 years and is just looking "for a friend"
>start making out with her
>get her tits out, fucking gorgeous
>start to play with her pussy and she's saying how she's not sure cuz she has a bf
>say ok, I won't put it in. *wink wink*
>start rubbing cock head all around her entrance.
>could lubricate a slip n slide
>think fuck it and kiss her deep while shoving it in
>"oh my god!"
>she loves it, hold her down and show her how an American fucks
>fuck her doggy yanking her hair as I cum all the way inside her
>she enamored, says that was the best sex she's ever had and that her bf has never fucked her like that
>have her suck my dick and cum on her face
>send her back to her bf with her makeup all fucked
>ignore her indefinitely

Sorry bro

>>733277658
get fit. That is all it takes. Starve yourself if need be. Get glucomanan pills, take them with water to stave your appetite. Take a caffeine pill every morning and lunch to jumpstart your metabolism. do 100 pushups, 100 squats, and 100 situps every day.

THATS ALL.

>>733277738
damn son,

>>733277885
im 6'3 170lbs.. so I mean im not exactly fat I dont think

>>733277738
meinneger.jpg

I've had some success, met a few bored wives. Just had to put in a few weeks of chat before I got snapnudes. Fucked 1 at a hotel next to where she worked after she got off work. The other I met out at a bar and she sucked me in the back of my car.

Every weekend I fuck a different girl from Tinder. I follow the exact same routine every time. I either take them out to dinner at the same place or get drinks at the same bar. After that, they are more than convinced to come back over to my place.

I've fucked a couple of black chicks off of tinder. The last date I went on was with this Uber Christian chick. She was a bore so an hour into our date I wanted her to leave. I started talking about race and advocated Trump. I annoyed her to the point where she angrily leaves the restaurant. Then I sat there and got drunk and reveled in the glory. honestly that was just as satisfying as banging a chick. Dumb bitches.

>>733278006
I am 6'2" and 200lbs. Strong as fuck with some fat. When I fast for a day or two, I drop to ~194lbs and get cut.
at 6'3" and 170lbs, either you are strong and ripped like a bodybuilder, or you are skinnyfat. Meaning, you look normal/average, but it is only because you have little musculature, and a lot of fat, which balances out to average.

Do as I say, bro. Im trying to get you pussy.

>>733278244
If this works anon.. idk how I can ever thank you..

>>733277586
Penor doesnt count faggot. They cant see that on tinder unless you have it as a profile pic.

I've got dark hair, caucasian, but dont seem to match anyone on tinder. Got a slim/athletic bod which I have a pic of me in a singlet, showing off arms and all that. Yet no matches? What the fuck?

Maybe its because i'm in Aus, and all the chicks here are fucked.

Advice on what to say to these bitches? They have nothing on their profile picture and a generic greeting gets me unmatched. Also how do I fuck at her place?

>>733275970
What state?

Is it worth paying for the subscription?

>>733278629
ah I'm American so your Aussie girls would be on my cock after I pronounce Aluminum

>>733278629
Me again, same poster.

Cant get any matches with anyone over a 5 or 6, maybe caus im a 6 or 7? Surely I didnt think I was that bad.. I thought i was a 7.5 or an 8, beacuse I have a stable well paying job, own place, fit, etc.

>two weeks ago
>had plans to hangout with a tinder girl
>afternoon she comes over
>decent sex
>girl leaves her bra
>forget about it
>ask another girl to come over
>my birthday was a few days before
>tell her she can be my birthday present
>she says yes and comes over
>bends over my bed and slaps her ass
>shove it inside of her
>pull out and cum all down her back
>immediately start fucking her again
>flip her over on her side
>bust a nut inside of her
>she has the nicest body i've ever seen in my life
>her body was so majestic, it could only be matched by the power of the sun and moon.
>lay down next to her
>she sees the bra on the door from the girl before
>actually flips the fuck out
>tries to twist my nipple
>wut
>tell her i fucked a girl before she came over
>"ok"
>we fuck one more time
>she leaves

>>733277658
Yeah dude. Just be yourself. Either it's going to happen or it isn't. To get responses I usually just talk about their profile. I'll make a joke or say something captivating. I've never matched and didn't get a response from a girl. But I don't get that many matches cause I'm a short, fat chode. But I've used it for like 3 or 4 months and have probably fucked like 5 girls off of it. I also don't use it that frequently. Most of the girls were slobs. But you get what you can my dude. I go raw too. I can't use a condom cause my dick dies immediately. But shit fries me out sometimes cause of STD's and whatnot.

inb4 im a faggot, but I actually met the girl I'm planning on proposing to on tinder (should things go well after we move in together).

We've both been finishing up college, about a hundred miles away, but plenty of visits and we're both from the same place. Both of us were about to delete the app, but we matched, she messaged me, and from there it began. Two years later, we don't fight because things are resolved before they get out of hand. No ego. We make each other better. It is possible to make a tinder relationship work. Before that, I never actually pulled any casual sex from the app. Although I did fuck a high school senior (who I literally had to card cause i was spooked) from Yik Yak. Shit was fire.

>>733278854
You're not,

Unless you have abs or at least 6ft1 in your bio then its not gonna happen.

Installed last summer, fucking three women during the same few weeks. One was a chubby anal freak, one was a nerdy crazy cat bitch and one was a petite asian with a rape fetish. Best free app ever.

>>733278854
Because of the nature of tinder, girls tend to only go for guys out of their leagues.

met a 20-7 years old girl
has huge tits
shes my sex slave now

>>733278867
You matched with that Brittany and Mireya girls they;re not that bad looking.. wtf are you doing Anon

>>733278577
>>733278577
You're gonna make it, Brah. We all will.

100 squats, 100 pushups, 100 situps. Every day. Substitute water for a sugar drink every now and then.
You got this brah.

>>733278629
The singlet is your problem, dude. Singlets are gay. I used to wrestle in highschool. Gayest thing I ever did. Cut that shit out. Also, your face might be an issue. Think about growing a big beard. Big beards are in right now.

>>733278681
....i just got a vibe that you're the gothic chick.

>>733278993
lol enjoy her used fuckhole.

>>733279289
a part of me wants to be you're friend.. a part of me doesnt wanna give you my steam bc this is 4chan..

>>733279289
I can grow a mean beard in a few days.. Dark and full. Might do that

>>733276303
I usually use the line "what are the chances of me eating your ass out of 10?"
10/10 responses, 5-6 are positive and I end up going on a date and fucking

>>733279289
Nah just wondering on the state bud

only just recently started using it. Seems like a genuine waste of time.

>>733279681
Lol Im not writing shit on here.
Here's my shill email. [email protected]

>>733279738
Not some scruff. I'm talkin a full on duck dynasty beard, man. Those are all the rage right now. Plus make sure you are fit.

>>733279915
LOL TRYING THIS JUST BECAUSE I LIKE THE BOOTYHOLE AND WOMEN SHOULD KNOW.

>>733279915
im gonna try this.. will let you know if it works

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>>733280463
>>733280527
Godspeed anons, here's one that didn't work out. I found pretty hilarious

>>733273721

Thought I was average-looking

Made Tinder

Used it actively for 2 weeks

0 matches so I deleted the whole thing

>>733280982
Guess you are a lot uglier than you thought, congrats. Welcome to reality.

>Got slapped at first meet

>>733280982
Thats okay, brah. You just need to work on yourself, your image, your technique a little bit. Everyone needs to work on themselves more!
A hard body and clean clothes gets you most of the way.

>>733280982
Yeah it's bullshit if you're just a normal guy. And by normal I mean athletic build with a normal face, normal life.. Chicks want meatheads on tinder.

>>733280463
>[email protected]
whats a shill email?

>>733279289
Nebraska?

>>733281544
Meatheads, or money.

See, I'm poor as fuck, and not funny, so I HAVE to make it on appearance, and decent conversation skills.

Work with what you got!

>>733281610
>>733280127
Florida, brah.

>>733281608
a secondary email that only leads to fake accounts under fake names. Not giving out my real email or real steam.

>>733280957
lmaoooo bro. That was p funny. You should cut it out with the emojis, though. Emojis are gay as fuck.

>>733281816
ah fair enough.. I'll write it down and let you know if that eating ass thing works lmao

>inb4 Minuteman story

>inb4 catfishman

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got a guy from tinder to help spitroast my girl with me

>>733282227
cuck. faggot. beta. go die in a fire.

>>733282227
>Minuteman story
what he a big black dude names Jamal?

>>733283029
nope, a white guy, slightly younger, poor guy came in the condom because he couldnt get it off fast enough

>>733277418
has been 98% of my experience with tinder. The other 2% is matching with girls and them not responding. I deleted the app a long time ago because I saw it as constant rejection.

>>733283332
What do you do instead, anon?

I used craigslist and a few other dating sites, i've hooked up more with craigslist than on tinder (0 times from tinder, about 5 or 6 from CL).

>see some dude posting on /fit/ about how he's autisming a tinder convo and the girl is being really cool
>Go on tinder
>2 swipes later: the same fucking girl appears on my feed
>Instant match, tell her about autismo posting her motivating me to go on tinder and literally finding her right after
>Exchange Snapchat
>Find out she's fat on snapchat, stop talking to her
>Still see her story from time to time
And nothing of value was lost.

>>733283796
I pray for serendipity. Meeting a girl on the street or at work or something like that. I'm a 25 year old virgin with a major fear or alcohol and drugs with social anxiety. Haven't found anything that works for me for finding girls honestly. I've been on two dates since 2010 and soul-crushingly lonely. I make good money, have a cool as shit job, average looks, and a great sense of humor but my life is in shambles in the romantic department.

>>733274943
Why not just fucking break up with her?

What's a good ice breaker for girls with no bio and interesting photos? That's all I seem to match with. Bonus points for an ice breaker that isn't sexual.

>>733284434
Too arrogant for old used goods. Pass

I fucked 14 women off tinder last year. I'd say I'm a 7/10 - balding and not tall but good body, handsome face apparently.

My tactics?

>confidence
>no sex chat over text until we meet
>avoid the Hey how are you boring chat
>talk about their interests
>arrange a date as soon as

My favourites have been a 9/10 (perfect 36F tits on a size 4) that I had a lunch date with, didn't think it was going anywhere, but then ended up fucking her in my car before dropping her off

A half black half white chick who I fucked and came in her ass without asking

I've also had a few bad ones Inc a milf who ceased being a milf when she took her clothes off. She confessed she used to be fat, the rolls of loose skin.... God..

I pretend to be someone else, I'm just in it for the nudes

>>733273721
not a tinder story but a okcupid story
>live in Canada
>im 35 at the time
>meet a 40 year old woman from Georgia (the Country not the State)
>she barelly spoke english, tick accent
>no kids , never married
> went to a bar , i was charming af and made her laugh alot
>didnt made a move that night but asked her if she wanted to hang up the next day at my place
>she said yes
>pick her up from her place (she doesnt drive because she arrive to the country only 5 months ago)
>watch a random boring movie on netflix as we sit together and i caress her leg and butt
>when movie is finish i grab her hand and walk to my room
>on the door of my room she saids "we are no have sex"
>me: "ah ok" and lay together in bed
>start taking her clothes off
>after we are naked she said "i never had sex before" , she was 40 and she was still a virgen
>didnt beleave her so i said again : "ah ok"
>go down on her to look at her "virgen" pussy
>very tight
>go to finger and said "please dont put finger , i want to stay virgen"
>"ah ok"
>lick her tits and SHE HAS AN ORGASM

i didnt wanted to penetrate her, looking back , it freak me out a bit that at 40 she was still a virgen . and yes, i do regret i didnt pop that cherry .

i didnt called her again after that
>

>>733278006
is not that you are fat, its maybe your profile picture are cringy

>>733286799
>not tall
>balding
>7/10
...nah bro

Best story I have:

>5/10 girl, not that great, but whatev - just looking to alleviate loneliness
>She says I'm hot af and asks what I'm doing on Tinder and "clearly I have a girlfriend already" (obvious suck up line since she's not that attractive)
>Tell her I don't really do well in social situations, trust issues, etc - I can't meet people and never seem to hit it off with women
>After about 10 minutes of her prying, decide "fuck it, I'll never talk to her again" and dump life story: chronically beaten up, mugged, hospitalized by bullies, teachers made it worse, parents were abusive, etc
>Her: "Well, at least now you know what it's like to be a girl"
>Me: ".... u wut m8?"
>Her: "We have to fear for our lives every time we leave the house. It's not quite the same since you don't have to worry about rape, but you at least understand a little bit what it's like to be a girl"

That's the day I lost faith in humanity. And Tinder.

Watch out. Lots of mentally ill dudes posting as women on there. Sorry dipshits, an ass is not a "boipussy"

>>733287457

>Best story I have
>Best

My anus muscles tighten at the thought of your worst stories

>get tinder
>swipe right on everyone
>0 matches after swiping 300+ girls
>return to /b/

>>733287767
The others are worse because they're not worth telling, not because I was treated worse.

99% of my Tinder experiences go something like this:

>Me: Hey, girl. What's up?
>Her: (no response)
>Me: (a day later) Hey, you there?
>Her: (no response)
>Me: (a week later) Aight, then. (blocked)

The remaining 1% go more like this:

>Me: Hey, girl. What's up?
>Her: Oh, hey
>Me: Looking to chill?
>Her: No (blocked)

>>733287976
You suck at conversation.

>>733280957
Ahahahah man, I'm gonna try your tecnique for sure

>>733287976
Never start a conversation with something so generic as "hey", every dude is fucking doing it what makes you think she will respond you your "hey"

>>733287892
Here's your (You), my friend

>>733287976

Anus muscles continue to tighten with such cringe.

>>733288080
Not him but I can sympathise with a boring "hey"

I've sent shitload of messages that are original and relate to the girls profile and got 0 response. Sometimes it's more efficient to send a boring message rather than waste time thinking up the perfect line. Statistically I've got more responses from "hey" than anything else

Iv only had 1 tinder date so far

>match with qt
>talk for a few days
>we arrange to go for sushi
>meet her and go to resto
>we have dinner, talk but don't seem to click
>after dinner was gonna invite her for drinks someplace but she just left
>she felt kind of bland and boring
>delete her # and unmatch her next day

now on badoo is another story...fucked 3 girls from badoo

>>733288165
>>733288575
I always start off with "hey how are you" or "hey, please to meet you"

it seems to work, always get replies.

>>733287296
I don't want to post a pic but 5'9 isn't a deal breaker for most girls.

Green eyes, Caucasian but mixed nationality, confident and able to talk about anything.

Let me give you an example

>go for lunch date
>I order salad she orders gammon steak
>different server gives.food but assumes I as the man have th e steak
>claim my salad with confidence
>date sees I.dont give a fuck
>fuck her after lunch

This is the bottom line : your issues are just that, yours.

I don't give a fuck I'm balding. I'm 30. And most chicks don't either. What they care about is how you act, how you treat them and others, your confidence and how interesting you are.

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>have tinder for a few weeks
>zero matches

just kill me

>>733288813
Here's the thing though is it effective? The main goal of tinder is to meet your match and get laid. 100% of my matches that meet this goal were girls who messaged first.

Doesn't help that not a single one of them opened with something other than "hey".

Honestly easiest opening line is, "Convince me that Timbaland's 2007 hit 'The Way I Are' isn't the best song of all time."

>>733273721
>Swipe right and barely read them
>Get a few matches that are cunts and go nowhere
>Read all of the profile and swipe right carefully
>Get a few more matches but most are still cunts and go nowhere
>She a profile for a girl ho seems awesome
>Super like because why not expecting nothing
>Matches and we talk
>Go out to arcade and have a blast
>Still going out to this day and it's great
Just have to keep trying sometimes.

>>733288813
wtf really?
my first time on tinder i was like tipical hey, how are you?.... no fucking replies
i start just saying whatever comes to mind based on their profile, and start getting replies

>>733275300
>turns out you were 22

>>733289370
I have a rule where if I can't think of a good opener for a specific girl in less than a minute it's not worth it. Before than my tinder was filled with matches that I hadn't messaged because I couldn't think of something.

>>733289370
Since they added the gify thing or whatever I start mine off with a dumb cute gif saying hey and it's normally light-hearted and seems funny so they like it and are more easy going.

>>733289247
iv had about 3-4 girls who messaged me first.
mostly with something other than just hey.

honestly tinder isn;t the best app for fucking.
iv had more luck with badoo.
the girls have less chads in badoo so it increases your chances.

id say im a 8/10.
>30, average height, athletic build. not balding or anything like that.
the only thing going against me is that im always changing jobs. sometimes being unemployed for 3-4 weeks

>>733289370
most profiles just have a bunch of emojis
you can't really customize that many messages like that

>>733278629
You post pictures in singlets. They probably think you're looking for dudes

To keep story short....
I matched with this ok looking bit tits girl
I get her number and we start talking on whatsapp
Some time later i ask her out, she says "sure why not"
I said ok lets go out next friday, this friday im going to be at a party (she knows the party im talking about, and she says she is not into parties)
Next day....
I see her at the party with some dudes, she is holding the hand of one of them (its definitely boyfriend)
I go and say hello when she is alone, and ask her: "I though you didn't like parties..."
She says: "yeah... but i came with some friends..."
We maybe talk for like 3 minutes, and she says: "sorry I have to go, but ill message you" (she probably didn't want her boyfriend to see me with her lol)


Now I dont know what to do, should message her or just wait and see... i definitely want to fuck this girl i mean those tits are really nice :D

>>733275878
Why I'm never getting married. All girls have the desire to cheat at one point and almost always carry it out

>>733274943
same. I'd break up with mind but the sex is good and nothing better has come along