Hey /b/, can we get an old fashioned feels thread tonight? I

I'm guessing you're a white male, so I would suggest realizing that the "feels" you are experiencing right now are nowhere near as bad as the absolute torment you subject PoC to every single day.

If you want to feel better, you can start by opening up your wallet of stolen, undeserved money and supporting the PoC and LGBTQIA communities who deserve it.

>>733122324

Come on nigger, what's with all these acronyms? Spell.

>>733122324
Gas the kikes race war now!!
>>733121849
Visit /pol kid

>>733122324
Look man, I really don't need this right now. Please, would it be ok if people could give me some examples of how people are feeling. Lets just open up a bit now. Spill out how life sucks a bit. In truth, I do not know. Sorry for all the faggotry I am spewing.

>>733121849
Sorry to hear that, /b/ro.

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I think about suicide daily.

>>733122324
Do you suffer from a severe mental disability or are you just a fucking idiot? LGBTQIA? Really? Stfu you stupid nigger

>>733122649
OP here, Thank you, I just am a bit down right now. Maybe it will get better in an hour, maybe a few days. But currently, I do not know. So, I am making this so that maybe, just maybe, i can make someone else's day a bit better. Cause we all need to let it out sometimes. So I proposition /b/. What is troubling you?

All you have to do is get laid

>>733121849
You want the honest to god truth?

I just got lost in Switzerland because I was separated from my group of friends while on holiday. Know what I did? Hopped on a train and found my way back, wasted and loose.

My advice to you? Get lost, and find out who you truly are.

>>733122761
Honestly, all of us in this website does

>>733123198
Thanks man, but I tried to do that already. It did not work particularly well. I actually have a little story about that. Alright if I greentext it? The story is pretty old so i do not know if it is still relevant to me today, but maybe it will give you a good example of my life so far. OP Here

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In hospital after coma following failed suicide attempt (found early). I have a. Title of this. Trips and I bee an hero xD. Serious about the suicide though

pic related

>>733123439
Do it, mayne

>>733123453
3dgy

dont dew it

No amount of therapy is going to get rid of the emotions, you just have to learn to deal with them. Depression might be different though. Really, this world is utter shot, and you will never be truly happy. You just make the best of this terminal illness that others value so much called life.

>>733121849
if you're looking for empathy then post your current situation and people will post

>>733123594
Maybe if I detect enough blood in stool I'll be an hero .
Fuck I wish they kept better meds around here, all the good shit is with the patient next to me or in front f the nurses

>>733123453
Roll for the hell of it. If trips or more or 88 you do it.

>>733123428
lolz

Suicide is your choice. Fags will tell you to do it or not to do it, but really it is up to you. Don't believe the ship that things get better, maybe for emotions but unless you are already bottom of the barrel, things get worse and worse as life goes on. Just ask yourself this, even if I do get better, is life worth all this effort?

>>733121849
>I'm stuck in an emotional tug of war
>talking to this girl
>when we talk it seems like she's into it
>seems like she enjoys it
>the next day
>I'll never hear from her
>then I get sad and start distancing myself to move on
>then she'll say something
>I'll just think I was overthinking everything
>get attached again but keep some distance
>repeat
>it fucking hurts and not sure how much longer I can put up with
>we usually talk when I initiate
>feels like she may not wanna talk anymore
>but when we actually do she seems into
>it just repeats in this vicious cycle
>tonight I'm probably gonna end it once and for all (the cycle not my life)
>not gonna initiate any conversations from this point forward, only way to see if she still wants to talk
>probably just gonna cry my bitchass to sleep tonight since it helps and fastens the moving on process
>but one part of me doesn't wanna let her go but the other parts says let her go now before you get to attached again and it hurts even more

feel free to give me advice..it just feels better getting it off my chest here. is it a sound plan?

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Pic related was in coma for almost 2 days, now being injected with fucking salt water. Nice. Also hearing hallucinations but they're mild

>>733123985
things do get better, not fixed but better. Sometimes it takes a long ass time but in the moment it's the worst thing ever and I for one won't commit suicide but I also don't fear death (as in if there was gunman somewhere you can bet your ass I'll charge him and try to kill him whether I die or don't)

>>733123715
OP Here. Alright, I'll start the greentext.
>Be Me, 14 years old.
> Filthy Jew faggot, parents wanted me to go on a birthright trip with some "friends" that I had known for a while in middle school.
>For the rest of this trip, I will be referring to this as the Israel trip.
>Attended this school from 1st Grade to 8th, in 8th we go to Israel.
>School shilled the trip to make us stay there, was a pretty shitty education, for they didn't teach some essential shit properly, fucked me later in high school.
>Arrive at Jerusalem airport, normal shit, faggots ignoring me like they had normally done throughout my time there.
> A Day and a 1/2 in, tired, we are going to the underground western wall
>Note about the trip: We were going with 2 other middle schools.
>On way to the place, fall asleep due to jet lag.
>FirstIncident.jpg
Continue?

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That light turns blue if I flatline, and there's a code blue switch behind my bed too

>>733124497
This was 8 years ago by the way, forgot to mention. Sorry.

>>733123198
honestly there's times where I just wanna say fuck it and become a mountain man or just drop everything and move across the country and start a new life leaving everyone behind

>>733124556
this is a feels thread no ones gonna report you (at least I wouldn't)

I wake up everyday and check my email and phone because I may be in hot water for something I did awhile ago. If I get off with a tap on the wrist, fine. If I get seriously penalized, it's drop hang off a nearby bridge. I've had a good run of things, so I've come to peace with this eventuality.

I just realized that I hate my best friend. He's about to lose a lot of people and it might drive him to kill himself. At this point my only concern is where he's going to be buried. I don't want to drive that far to piss on his grave.

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> 15 years old and is in middle school.
> really likes this redhead girl who is 16, same grade and in honors but never talks to her.
> has friend who talks to her so I start hanging out with him just to be around her.
> all of us become close friends
> one night other friend and redhead girl get drunk and have sex, next morning girl clams rape and tries not to talk to him again unless necessary
> This is my chance!!
> me and girl become best friends and I was always thinking her of asking her out on a date but I knew she would say no.
> Understandable.jpeg
> around 8:20pm she calls me asking if she should call the police and go to court against other friend
> I tell her its up to her
> court case is filed and almost 10 people are questioned about what happened that night even though we were not there, some of us had no idea what was happening.
> everyone was pissed off at her.
> me being the good friend that i was got information from other friend and gave it to her for her to analyze.
> She stops going to school for god knows why.
> its been 9 weeks since shes been to school or me seeing her, so me and her have been trying to plan something out to see each other.
> the day finally comes, but it turns out to be a party at her house.
> i'm ok with parties as long as not too many people show up.
> 40 people show up all from different schools, only 6 are from my school that i personally know well.
> everyone's getting drunk and stuff.
> meet 2 new people. i will name them anon 1 and anon 2.
> anon 1 is 6'5,16,has done coke and weed, got expelled from school and has been stabbed, also has a small scar on his cheek.
> anon 2 is 17, 5'9 and sold weed to half of the district.
> redhead girl who has almost reach her drinking limit keeps going into her room with anon 1 and anon 2 and talking to them for some reason, this happens around 12 times each lasting from 5mins to 10mins.

>>733121849
I regret not killing myself when I had a gun, think about it every day. Lost everything I had, had to move back home. Lost job, car, fiance after years of trying to help her, etc. Not even 1.5 later shes about to have a kid with some loser.

Havent been able to sleep well for almost 3 years, maybe more, on/off alcoholism, extreme depression, you name it.

>>733125058

Oh yeah? Why is that?

>>733124243
You just talking to her? One day between talking isn't anything to get worked up about.

Have you asked her out?

>>733121849
>I hope all of you have a wonderful week ahead and day today
>mfw I havent had a good day or week in years

I hate my life, but not enough to take it away, so Im cursed to live this nightmare forever
Its pretty oc all the time, some days better, but some days is hell.

If I could make a wish, I just wish that I could be a normal person like the almost rest of the worldt, I swear it, that will be the best wish I could ever have.

>>733124243
example of one convo I was kinda in a pissy mood and wasn't up for her 'beg me to stay up' game so I was just really cold in the convo (greentext is her) (LE = laughing emoji)

>Im sleepy
Same

>Oh yeah? Well its TOMORROW here
Then go to bed..

>GOOD MORNING ASSHOLE
>trynna keep me up
>Smh
Then I'll just go to bed..

>Wait wait
>Im not actually maf
>then she called me and I didn't answer (again in a pissy mood because she kinda blows me off and I was irritated)
If you want me to stay up I can..

>Dork
We'll make up your mind LE

>I want to talk but im so tired
>Kms
Then go to bed LE

>Ok....night

I only used emoji's because I didn't wanna show my pissy side

>>733125260
I met her on omegle awhile ago but the past 3ish days she's taken zero initiative when usually she's the one to start it so it just kinda threw me off, if I don't message her right now she probably won't (and I plan on confirming that)

>>733124497
I guess I'll continue the faggotry.>>733124792
Thanks man.
>I fall asleep next to a guy on the bus, Dickhead doesn't even try to wake me up.
>Nobody notices me, like usual.
>Stuck with Israeli bus driver
>Somewhat dazed and confused, go with bus driver to his parent's house.
>Dude speaks no english, have no idea what he is saying.
> At this point, I feel bad for him, due to the fact that this faggot just showed up (me).
>Get back to the group, at the wall.
>A group of 40 jewish children, including the ones i knew, all look at me, and start laughing at me.
>This is when I realized that life was not going to work out well for me.

>>733125459
I am sorry man, I hope that I can help you with that in some way. OP Here.

>>733124820
You fags are depressing

>>733125647
get out happy fag this a sad thread

>>733125647
That is the point.

>>733125600
Thanks, but even pros have tried to help me, its only a placebo to me therapy and all that shit

I laugh when the normal people think that being depresed is like always being sad and a fucking emo, but the dont know that the void you feel inside, the randomness of feeling in you, its the worst part of being depressed-

>>733126248
this tho :(

>>733125508
Ask her out, if she says no, you can quit talking to her.

If she says yes, you can address the problem.

If things don't end working out, you can break up.

Don't shut down your options.

>>733125537
>Worst part however, was not the fact that the kids were laughing at me, that was expected, save a few.
>The worst part was the fact that the chaperones, teachers of mine, were also laughing, and did not try to help me in the slightest.
>I trusted these people, and this act of negligence, in addition to 2nd incident (coming soon), almost sent me off the deep end, though t about an heroing.
>Back to the story
>I then watch everyone i thought I knew, slowly cave to peer pressure.
>AsExpected.jpg
>Fast forward to a few days later.
>Friend of many years up to that point invites me to talk in his room.
>2ndIncident.exe has started running
This is what started my extreme distrust and anxiety concerning people.
>>733126248
Im sorry man, I wish I could help. I too have struggled with the randomness and emptiness.

>>733126544
we live in different states so 'going out' is kinda hard

it's hard to explain but ever since she told me (sends me pics of the convos and shit) she goes on omegle her responsiveness has gone down a lot too but then again I overthink everything my plan is to snap her to keep the streak going as 'keeping my options open' cause I know if it ends, it'll all end

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I'm just tired, so, so tired. Wish I could be a normie, live a life of happiness. But I guess thats just not for me. Its so cold.

>>733126887
I thought you were at least in the same area.

Yeah, I'd detach if I were you.

>>733126887(me)
to add insult to injury I think she only started talking to me again because her BF of 2 yrs dumped her and I was a 'rebound' and this isn't the first time a relationship has ended it starts with less and less talking and eventually it just sizzles out and I plan on letting it do that and just be done with it instead of this constant guessing, overthinking, and emotional shit thanks for the advice but I'm gonna get to bed it's fucking late for this shit and I gotta work...wish me luck

>>733127458
Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.


That's emotional exhaustion anon, it's almost inescapable and will drain you of everything. I'd advise counseling/therapy and trying to get better even if you have to take meds. It's hard to get better in that situation simply because of being totally drained and having 0 motivation.Don't let it get worse

>>733127761
gl anon

>>733127714
>>733127761(me)

refer to ^^

planned on it but I'm not gonna text here "I'm done" or some shit just slowly creep out the 'backdoor' and hopefully it's unnoticed or doesn't bring out to much attention

she also said when she gets home after she was gonna 'literally passout' since she's so tired. Well guess who active on facebook 2hrs after..

>>733121849
Hey anon things get tough sometime but all you can do is break through it, keep your chin up man the lord always walks beside you, try speaking to him? Thats what always helps me stay grounded to the planet and not blow my brains out, knowing that i have a friend who will listen to no matter whay time of day it is or where you are or how you feel, trust me hes there for you even if you dont know it.
I wish you the best and i hope things work out for you and you can be happy soon anon i truly do

>>733125190
His spouse's mother is about to enter hospice care and he cheated. Not only did the motherfucker cheat, but it's like the fourth time. He's a constant drain on everyone around him and just cries "Muh depression!" every time someone tries to confront him about his bullshit or tries to help him. I really fucking hope he kills himself, this world would be a better place.

>>733121849
Im guessing you had a pretty shit night but i just a got a Nagasaki sized feel bomb dropped on me tonight by my fiancé

>>733127458
Damn...

>>733128531
what happened brodie?

>>733128531
Been there bro. I was in the shower getting ready for work when my fiance deadpan walked in the bathroom and said, "Anon, I don't love you anymore. I don't want to be your wife, or your gf."

After helping her through years of emotional struggle, calling 911 and seeing her through a suicide attempt just months before etc.

>>733128531
were here for you anon

>>733126667
OP Here. Part 4/4
>The Time has come for the 2nd incident
>Go into friend's room, lets call him Zach
>Zach then, along with 2 other faggots
>They then take me, place me under the sink, place towel tight on my face, and pour water.
>Waterboarding.jpg
>Too scared, brain gets sensation of drowning
>Throw up a little, immediately goes back into mouth.
>This, although it was only 2 minutes, felt like an eternity.
>Especially because it was by someone I trust, in addition to the 2 guys who helped him (also trusted them)
>Walk out stunned, lost faith in humanity.
>...
>After Israel Trip
>I attempt a form of communication with this man, after about 3 weeks of minimal communication with the outside world.
>During this time, I attempted suicide.
>Parents thought I was being overdramatic.
>Probably was.
>Back to the story
>I skype this man,
>I ask him "Zach, why did you waterboard me?"
> He replies "Well anon, I just wanted to. And you were the easiest to do it to because I knew you wouldn't resist."
> I have not spoken to him since.
That day has haunted my memory for years now, because it is a constant reminder of how I can never truly trust anyone, and how even those who you think understand, never will. Thank you for listening in on my faggotry.

>>733127458
Fuck man, I feel this.

I've struggled on and off with depression for years. Got real bad in college about 6 years ago, but eventually got better. 3 months ago depression came back, got so depressed actually thought i was going to kill myself. decided i need help. long story short i took leave from work and went back to temporarily live with mom and dad again. went on lexapro and seroquel. they fucking work. holy shit. i'm not like happy now, but i don't want to kill myself either. i've been back in my town back to work for 3 weeks now.

i guess my point is look into the meds. i was always skeptical of them, scared the shit out of me. but i couldn't deal with feeling like killing myself all the time. and they helped. try them. they might help. they definitely helped me. better living through chemistry.

>>733127882
thanks anon

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K enough with this tear circle jerk! This feels thread is officially gonna turn into a feelsgoodman.jpg with a lil dose of confidence >>733125537 i feel ya man.
I didn't have the best experience with people as well. My bestfriends for 4 years all stabbed me in the back when i was 11 and made the whole classroom pick on me for the next 3 or so years.Feels pretty shitty to be picked on by your former best friends ( alongside a whole classroom but whateves) BUT, there is a silver lining! This experience made me grow stronger. It enhanced my social skills when it came to pick the right friends, how to deal with trouble, and how to overcome lose of close friends all at a young age. These skills helped me find my current close friends, alongside helping me out with plenty of social problems.
So, instead of
>realizing whether life will work it well for you or not
make sure to let these experiences push you forward in life instead of holding you back!

GOOD LUCK TO ANYONE HAVING HARD TIMES AND REMEMBER, BELIEVE IN THE KAMINA THAT BELIEVES IN YOU!!

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>>733121849
Was going to walk over to the bar, but I'll take a /feels/ thread. I feel like shit, and picked july 8th as my final day. Either I man the fuck up and blow my brains out or stop bullshitting about it.

Just wanted to say to a lot of you guys in here, I just got through like 2 weeks of therapy and a week of actually being in a psych ward where they check on you every 15 minutes and take your shoe laces and shit.

For the longest time I was afraid of taking pills or getting help, because I thought that shit would make me a different person.

Had rationalized to myself that death was like sleeping, and bought a shotgun because I didn't want to fuck up.

Right before I killed myself I reached out for help, I thought, "maybe if I'm thinking of suicide as my only option, I'm stopping one option short".

Started meds in the pysch ward, feeling pretty good right now.

Now, I'm not gonna try and white knight in here. I hate fuckers that try and reason with people why they shouldn't commit. I've always held the belief it's your choice.

I just wanna say that if suicide is something on your mind all the time, yeah, you can make it go away.

>>733128826 OP here
Any questions you guys have? I will be crying myself to sleep all night. Just remember, I am here for all of you. Now that you have heard my story (>>733124497
>>733125537
>>733126667
>>733128826)
Again, Thank you.

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>>733122324
Piss off, faggot.

>>733121849

It's been a rough week.

My oneitis started flirting with this other guy. I've been friendzoned for months. It took him less than a week to get her flirting with him. He doesn't even have her number yet (and I do). I estimate in 2 weeks they will start fucking.

Worst part is, its happening all right in front of me. I have class with her for another 5 long months. Nothing I can do at all. Nothing.

Only recently have I accepted that this is how its gonna be.

>>733129187
yeah man. it's crazy. the pills work. and they really don't change you. that is what i was always scared of. they basically just bring you back to your normal basal level. like i'm not a super happy person normally, so i'm kind of back to that. but i'm not thinking about killing myself constantly. that shit was fucking awful. if i hadn't reached out for help to my mom i'd be fucking dead. eventually i would have listened to the voice in my head saying you don't have ot deal with your problems anymore if you just kill yourself.

>>733129070
Yeah bro, been there for years. Turns out the longer you let that shit get to you it will eventually come back all in one wave and destroy you, making an even larger tidal wave of shit.

>>733129422
OP here. Its alright, maybe there will be another. Maybe not. We just gotta hope man. Because, in the end, thats the worst drug of all: Hope. Sorry for all the depressing shit by the way.

>>733129477
Depends on the pills, my fiance got on prozac and became a robot. Couldn't even talk to her, it was like speaking to someone I've never met. That said, I'd stay away from that at least.

>>733129477
Good luck to you anon, hope things keep going okay.

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https://youtu.be/prDoGmY5kj8

>>733128754
I learned about 1:15 minutes ago that when she went to the doctor to get checked for diabetes she not onld had it but also a ovarian disease that made her unable to ever have kids when she told me this a welt grew in my heart amd throught so god damn quickly i was bearly able breath she said this then told me good night and went to bed i spent the last hour outside smoking crying screaming and praying to god demanding that he takes away my ability to have kids and noy hers all we ever wanted was to have kids when we were ready but now ready will never come well live our lives alone and sad even if we adopt ill always know itll never be the same for her as all she wanted was to experience motherhood but thay fucking sky wiziard took it away from her all because of me

>>733129615
Has she stopped taking them then?

>>733129615
well yeah i can only speak from personal experience and my little brother's. we're both on lexapro. he's been on the stuff like 10 years. i went to the same doc as him. he recommended lexapro since it's worked well for him.

not every med will work for every person. everyone has slightly different brain chemistry. but that doesn't mean you stop. you try something else. something should work.

my aunt has been on prozac for like 20 years now. she is one of the coolest people i know. so it works for her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2N_uvnvGbI

>>733129680
thanks man. that shit knocked me on my ass. but i'm slowly getting back on my feet now.

>>733129891
We split up before she stopped. See >>733125185
A few months later they had tripled her dose and she stopped cold turkey (terrible idea) but still was never the same. We don't even talk now after 6 years together and having a future planned, all the shit we went through etc.

I might have cancer, but it's been so long, that there's no care in me for it.

>>733129927
OP/Jew Here, I might think about pills and shit. However, I tried several and they all turned me into a complete robot, and only worsened my depression. Any other suggestions for dealing with this sort of problem?

>>733129824
Now is the time you need to be strong for her.

Not me, but somebody posted this earlier.

>be me
>dad was never around so it's just me and my mom growing up
>we were pretty poor
>when I was born mom couldn't afford a camera
>instead she'd draw pictures of me as a baby with coloured pencils
>She started an album of these little drawings
>She'd write little captions next to each picture
>"Somebody's cranky today"
>"Are you enjoying your nap"
>pictures were never very good, you could only just make out what they were supposed to be
>Still, she apparently tried her best on every picture
>One day in 4th grade
>Have some friends come over
>Friends find the album
>They start laughing at me and making fun of me and my mom for being poor.
>Friends leave
>I tear up the album and throw it in the trash out of embarrassment.
>Mom comes home a few hours later when she gets off work
>She finds the picture album in the trash
>She bursts into tears
>Never seen her cry this much
>Telling her why I did it only makes her cry more
>The next morning she's gathered all the torn paper and is taping it all back together piece by piece
>She tells me "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but this album really means a lot to me"

She died a few years later.

That album is the only thing I have left of her, and every time I look at it, the little bits of tape holding it together remind me what a shitty son I was.

I miss you mom.

If you feel shitty I think 4chan /b is worst place to look for help.

>>733130204
I cant be im a shaking tear drenches mess im gonna take a shower tommorow morning and call her until then i cant sleep or think straight. I might just vomit on top of it all

>>733129927
Im on efexor now, it works well with xanax here and there. It's helped tremendously since I was on a cycle of meds for a year driving me insane.

Feels songs:

https://youtu.be/7jMlFXouPk8

https://youtu.be/fNLhxKpfCnA

https://youtu.be/WegytqEPuEE

https://youtu.be/dxyw3Ew5LGw

>>733130159
Start lifting. The best way to get yourself back out there is to get big so you can feel good about yourself and defend yourself if something like that happens again. It'll take a while to get buff, but the outcome will be worth it if you stick to it.

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Ok bois I'm about to drop my story
> greentext
It's an oldy I dropped in here a couple months ago and I'll expand on what actually happened after in a reply

>>733130128
Consider going out in a blaze of glort friend

>>733130408
*glory

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>>733123428
Lol true.

>>733130391
OP/Jew Here.Maybe, but it has damaged my psyche pretty badly. Its more the hopelessness and feeling that I can and will be exploited by people that I trust. And with that psyche, I wouldn't want to be strong, just in case I accidentally hurt somebody I do love, and fuck up things again.

>>733130159
Talk to a doctor that specializes in that, and a therapist if you havent to get your exact needs down. From there its a trail and error thing. Aside from that, if you aren't working try to find a fulfilling job for some type of distraction and purpose. That, and playing or learning to play music is therapeutic. Having a bro doggo helps a lot too

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>>733130396
> Be me
> In highschool
> Have Senpai
> She shows interest in me
> Mfw I like this other chick over her
> I just liked the chick cause she was an artfag
> Talk to senpai every night
> msn style, we were og
> Sit infront/behind eachother on the bus everyday
> Talk every day
> Eat lunch together every day
> Senpai is a solid 7/10
> Chick I'm going for is an 8
> Mfw I'm a 6 at best
> Senpai leaves to college
> She doesn't have a phone
> Barely checks her Fb
> Msn died
> We drift apart
> I never end up getting the other girl
> Highschool ends for me
> I applied to the same school as senpai
> Just because a lot of my friends are going there
> Turns out I applied for the same program she's in
> I didn't even realize

1/2

>>733130159
talking about it helps. at least for me. and no it doesn't have to be professional help, but it can be. honestly that shit only helped me when i was really bad. but i have a coworker that has really bad depression problems, worse than mine. talking with her about it actually seems to help a lot for some reason.

eat better, get some exercise. it's not going to fix things overnight, but it will help. fresh air and sunshine definitely do something positive for the brain.

hang out with friends/family. even when you don't want to. ESPECIALLY when you don't want to. do not isolate. i force myself to hang out with my two friends i have here pretty much every weekend. they know about what i went through and have been supportive.

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>>733130737
> See her in the halls
> Start to notice all the signs she sent me years earlier
> How I ignored them because I liked someone else
> OhshitWhatHaveIDone.jpg
> I could have been with this chick
> Talk to her from time to time when we see each other in the halls
> First year goes by for me
> Second year almost ends
> Get Fb message
> Anon we should hang out before I graduate
> DreamComeTrue.png
> Take her to a local mall
> Eat and talk about old times
> Run out of topics and start talking about weird shit
> We're both introverts
> I end up saying cringy shit
> Wanting to kill myself for being this cringe
> Haven't seen her since
> It's my last semester 3rd year
> End up helping out one of her friends that failed and was held back during second year
> Always help her out just so hopefully word I'm a nice guy will get back to senpai
> Friend says today that when her year graduated someone made a year book and had honourable mentions with three people: Her, Some Cuck, and holy shit my Senpai failed
> SHE FAILED?
> Friend says she still might come back to finish it this semester before the cut off line
> The other section is full
> If she comes back she's going to my section
> There's one open computer
> It's one of the one's right next to me
> Please god
> Please

>>733130694
I tried animals. They are always scared of me, even though I am pretty non imposing. I don't know, it seems like all the events in my life are retribution for being born, as technically, I am a test tube baby.

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> 15 years old and is in middle school.
> Really likes this redhead girl who is 16, same grade and in honors but never talks to her.
> has friend who talks to her so I start hanging out with him just to be around her.
> All of us become close friends
> one night other friend and redhead girl get drunk and have sex, next morning girl clams rape and tries not to talk to him again unless necessary.
> This is my chance!!
> Me and girl become best friends and I was always thinking her of asking her out on a date but I knew she would say no.
> Understandable.jpeg
> Around 8:20pm she calls me asking if she should call the police and go to court against other friend.
> I tell her it’s up to her
> court case is filed and almost 10 people are questioned about what happened that night even though we were not there, some of us had no idea what was happening.
> Everyone was pissed off at her.
> Me being the good friend that I was got information from other friend and gave it to her for her to analyze.
> She stops going to school for god knows why.
> it’s been 9 weeks since she’s been to school or me seeing her, so me and her have been trying to plan something out to see each other.
> The day finally comes, but it turns out to be a party at her house.
> I’m ok with parties as long as not too many people show up.

>>733130778
OP here.Here is the problem. All my family thinks it doesn't matter and its not very important. All they care about are grades and such. So, trying to talk with them is akin to trying to talk to a brick wall. I can try, but it will get me no where. And I am scared of talking about it with friends because of the fear that they might laugh at me just like the Jew kids.

> 40 people show up all from different schools,
> Everyone getting drunk and stuff.
> meet 2 new people. I will name them anon 1 and anon 2.
> Anon 1 is 6'5, 16, has done coke and weed, got expelled from school and has been stabbed, also has a small scar on his cheek.
> Anon 2 are 17, 5'9 and sold weed to half of the district.
> redhead girl who has almost reach her drinking limit keeps going into her room with anon 1 and anon 2 and talking to them for some reason, this happens around 12 times each lasting from 5mins to 10mins.
> Bad gut feeling is about to kill me but I drank some beer to remove the feeling
> Successful!
> Anon 1 bursts out of room angry and starts drinking.
> Redhead girl comes out of the room starting to cry and sits near the bathroom.
> me being the good friend I am goes to her, hugs her and tries to calm her down.
> anon 1 leaves throwing a bottle and hitting some drunk white chicks leg and made her fall.
> Anon 2 follows.
> Have to leave with my friends at 3:00am.
> She constantly calling my friends phone (cause mines dead) telling us to come back, but we can’t.
> No idea why anon 2 were mad and why she was talking to them in the first place.
> A month passes.
> She gets drunk one night and starts saying how nobody believes she was raped by my friend.
> She sobers up (still crying about what I just said) and starts saying I love you and sending me hearts and shit
> I start crying because I have never felt so good in my 15 years of life.
> I fall asleep felling happy and loved as fuck.
> The next day and I go to another friend’s party, get there around 6:00pm.
> Party started at around 7:00pm
> Very small party of around 12 people including me.

>>733131014
you gotta try man. you can't keep that stuff to yourself. believe me i know how you feel. that's how i felt when things were really bad. i was embarrassed of how i felt. ashamed.

when i finally reached out people just felt bad that they hadn't noticed how bad i was.

i say give it a shot with your friends. i dunno. they might surprise you.

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>>733130782
> Everyone said I should talk to her again
> That I should message her up and tell her she should go back to school and that it would me a lot to me to see her again
> I never did message her up
> Just kept putting it of day after day till it was too late
> Besides Happy Christmas/News Years/Birthday messages and small exchanges accompanied by those I haven't really spoken to her in about a year
> Haven't seen her in person in a little over a year
> She lives down the street from me right now as far as I know
> About a 3 minute walk down the road
> I really care for her, we used to be so close
> Sometimes I read through our old messages on Fb and dA
> I'm not sure if I should pursue this or merely just be happy at what once was
> C'est la vie

>>733122761

I went through years of that shit. Go see a doctor. No fucking joke. Antidepressants are the only reason I didn't buy a gun off the dark net and blow out my fucking brains.

>>733131245
Alright, maybe I will. Thank you /b/, of all the places I have gone, maybe this has been the most therapeutic. I love you all. At least, through all the chaos, I have somewhere to belong to. Again, thank you, and may your day/week be better than mine.

Well since this is here I just got rejected by my best friend of almost 5 years and well she hasn't replied since then and I just found out she's moving out of state by the 1st of June. I feel like I should have just kept my mouth shut and not have told her I liked her.

>>733130834
Don't think about it like that, if that's the case bro there's a good chance the animals pick up on your "vibes" for lack of a better term. Just take it slow, go easy, pet them when you can etc you can google info on how to make friends with a dog. It's kinda like a girl but a bit easier and far more loyal overall, but it's not impossible. That said, maybe a hampster or bird would be better. Just something to care for and be around. Turtles are really cool too and theyre easy to relate too when you are depressed

>>733128472

If he's actually depressed then it may be impossible for him to regulate his behavior like a normal person, but the damage he's doing means he has to be forced to get help. Same happened to me. I burnt my relationship to the ground when I was depressed.

>>733131427
hang in there man. it can get better. i'm living proof of it.

>Friday night feels

Its me again

>Lonely professional
>This week has once again been hell
>No human interaction beside work and clients
>I live alone
>I'm saving my money for something, but I don't know what
>My mom has started calling me everyday and I talk to my brothers every week now
>They think I might kms or something
>Yea I'm lonely and miserable with sitting at home and sitting on a pile of cash
>But I do feel like I will make it one day
>I honestly haven't had a gf in over 8 years and I'm turning 30 next year
>I'm not anti social as other people around /fit/ or /r9k/
>I just made the mistake of working day in and day out with no regard for friends or meeting new people
>I will be okay but I might end up alone
>My career has taken me through an interesting journey
>Even at 29. I'm still learning a lot about life I once was too busy to recognize
>Or I forced myself to ignore those things because it was too hard on me to see what I have become
>I can no longer be blinded purposely and I'm beginning to fail in life even though I have a career and my own place, car, and goals for the future
>I might be doomed to remain alone or things will begin to change
>2017, was supposed to be our year right guys

>>733130363
Btw, if nobody has feels from any of these tracks then idk what the hell is wrong with you

>>733130345
Get it out of your system.
But you must be there, for her.

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>>733121849

>>733131558

I should add the detail that the bullshit I subjected her to (uncontrollable drinking, drug use, and verbal abuse) happened while her father was dying of cancer and she was dealing with being sexually assaulted at her job. Yep.

>>733130408
>>733130554
Almost trips. But I've always, always thought about just punching out, at any time. There are so many opportunities in waking life to just go out in a cloud of viscera or bone fragments. Just a step in the wrong direction. And the more violent, the more worth it, I think. Pain is the only way I know I'm alive anymore; I want to intimately know the process of dying, I want to fully experience it. None of this coddled shit- I want to hurt, to scream. To be knocked so hard by a force that I lose my conceptual footing and become undone. I want the catharsis. The purge.

Life is a struggle, as it should be. And I want to feel the last wave of life hit me.

One day. I won't even know which day, but I'll finally tire of the facade. I'll feel the error in my cells. The strings tying down my being will fray, come loose. I'll finally get to live dying, I'll finally be there at the end, no sweet lies of finality and peace, no prolonged half-truths of reward, enabling complacent being, no. And no chewing through the mundane dealings of it all.

My body will tell me that it's over. Then I'll do one last good job, and earn my eternal rest in several pieces. Hell, it could even be human error that kills me- maybe some autist fucks up and I happen to be in harm's way, and I'll never see it coming.

Almost nobody does.

But in the meantime, let me be a high-functioning individual who contributes to society while they obsess over repeating digits. It's all I can do until the inevitable, logical conclusion.

>>733125093
cont? or are you done?

>>733121849
>be me
>mute due to some childhood trauma i have no memory of
>all i know is that it was my fathers fault
>school was hard
>people would talk to me and make the same exact face every time i signed something
>always the same fucking face
>23 years old
>finally found a girl that likes me
>4 months into our relationship, shes learned some sign language
>she introduces me to her parents
>she told them beforehand i cant speak
>she said she would translate for me
>i say hello to her parents
>her dad makes the fucking face
>i swear to god her parents dog makes the fucking face
>so self conscious over something i cant help
>her dad doesnt like me at all
>says ill never be able to provide for her since i obviously cant get a "real" job
>says this right in front of me
>i sign that im mute not deaf
>he says you can flap all you want, i dont want you dating my daughter
>gf just stares at the table silently
>i wish nothing more than the ability to scream
I just flipped him off and left
But i guess just to make it funny or something
She called me afterwards.. Like i can speak on the phone. Just rubbing salt in the wound.
Fuck her
Fuck her parents
Fuck everyone
Fuck me
Whats the point of living if i cant even be a normal fucking person?
Sometimes i just feel like slitting my throat just to get vengeance on my vocal cords

I wish I could love someone and make her feel happy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb6D7TaULb0

>>733131592
My life I posted earlier: job, fiance, etc. all crumbled and died at 29 and now I have to rebuild. I know its usually meaningless when people say this but believe me, I'd kill to be in your place right now. Just get some online dating profiles, message chicks, even ugly ones to practice on or just make friends. Try to get out.

>>733132338
I feel you, anon.

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>be me, 19
>total introvert
>have very few close friends
>this girl dating my "friend"(just a school friend) starts working where I work
>talks to me because i'm familiar to her
> starts having problems with her boyfriend
>i try my best to help
>they break up
>she becomes actual friends with me
>we spend all summer texting each other
>staying up late watching things at the same time(we sync up our netflix streams and talk over text about what's happening)
>spend my entire summer talking to her
>august comes
>oh shit i love her
>confess love after a few days of my close friends hounding me to ask her out
>she likes me too
>we set a date
>i fuck up and end up working that day
>she says maybe we should stay friends
>friendship gets rocky, she's alwasy upset at something i said
>she goes off on me one night and it makes me mad
>i tell her i can't do this anymore
>i cut off all contact, tell her we can't be friends
>she quits her job
>tells everyone how big of an asshole i am
>mfw i fucked up the only thing i had going for me because i don't like confrontation

My mom died right before mother's day, and I honestly don't know what to do. My chest hurts, my thoughts are scattered in my head. It's like everyday I wake up I feel more sore and heavier. Her funeral's tomorrow, and each step I take feels like I'm sinking more and more into whatever hell my mind is putting me through. Her wake was today, and I choked trying to speak of fond memories. This sucks

>>733132640
It will be like that for a while.
Then, one day, it won't feel as bad.

>>733132338
>that face
I know that face. Does it make you want to burn the world down? It makes me irrationally angry.
>t. Deaf anon
Theres no changing who you are anon. It will take a long time, but you will find someone who understands or accepts.

>>733132640
Therapy bro, this wont be easy. Just try not to let it wreck the other parts of your life, your mom wouldn't want that. Grieve, it's natural dude. Unfortunately I dont think it ever totally goes away, you just get used to living with it.

For all you other anons like 15-22 or whatever, these girl problems are just the beginning. I assure you, it gets more complicated, more expensive and time consuming and all that shit. Learn all you can and try to evolve enough until you have a successful relationship and theres no telling how many women you may or may not go through but ultimately there is at least one woman out there you will love and she will love your autisic ass back.

>>733132338
>he says you can flap all you want
Im sorry but im laughing at your misfortune
That dude is probably funny when hes not being a dick.. Sorry

>>733132640
I honestly can't even imagine what that's like. I get sad even thinking about what it'll be like when my mom is gone. She's the best thing in my life right now, and I hope you can try to stand tall and remember her, love her. Not drown in sorrow but keep the memory alive. Laugh until you cry because of all the good times. I doubt it will ever be easy, but I'm sure she'd want you to be strong and live your life free from sadness.

>>733133090
Stfu anon, this is a feels thread. Be nice or gtfo

>>733132934
>>733133022
>>733133203
Thanks.

>>733130310
damn

>>733131365
Do it. What's the worst that could happen? You feeling awkward for 5 minutes would make up for reconnecting with an old friend. Just ask her to go on a walk and dont sperg out. You'll be fine.

>>733123428
At least we can be suicidal faggots together.

>>733133090
Its still not cool and hes a piece of shit.
>>733132974
Thank you for your kind words

Well, OP Here, goodnight /b/, I hope you sort out your troubles and have a good rest of the night. Maybe i will to.

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>>733131365
>>733134029
This. She's not going to freak out on you, make sure everyone you know finds out or whatever unless you go full spaghetti. Talk to her, be honest. The worst that can happen is that she won't respond. Then you move on, such is life.

>>733131365
"JUST DO IT"...even if it doesnt work out u have nothing to lose anyway

>>733132338
Did you answer the phone? You can't talk but she can. She probably wanted to apologize.

I know you're angry but this chick learned another language for you. It sounds to me like she was cowed by her dad.

Sorry, /b/ro

Howdy /b/ pretty sure my girl is falling for my friend, close to offing my self... known here a good 7 years.

>>733121849
I'm feeling tired (can't sleep)

>>733122324
LGBTQIA

Large Gurquin Bacon & Tomato Quasant with Artificial Intelligence?

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>>733134029
>>733134286
>>733134453
I've been meaning to I just can never find the right time. Since I finished college I have all these student loans I need to pay off so I'm starting back my shitty factory job June 5th full time which will shorten my time to communicate with her, worst comes to worst if I don't ask her to go see a movie or something by the end of June I go to this art show in July every year, the girl I normally go with has a boyfriend now so there's an open position

>>733134661
GO ahead and start sabotaging and work on a plan to crush them both, act like you dont know. If youre sure it'll happen and you live together go ahead and plan to leave or kick her out, fuck her shit up as much as possible. Invite him over and give him exlax brownies or nyquil mixed liquor drinks and take some pics to spread around etc. dump his passed out body somewhere etc. nuke them both

>>733130396
comfy gif

>>733134504
I didnt answer my phone. I never do.
I never thought of that. We havent seen each other in a few weeks. Should i let her go? Should i go talk to her? I think i might have fucked up with the phone call but why didnt she text me?

>>733135026
thanks man

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feels thread?
nigger i give you a feels board
>>>/r9k/

>>733134903
Ask her if she has time and build your schedule around that. You never know when she's available if you don't ask. Just don't come off as desperate, or answer too quickly.

The best piece of advice I can give you is that if she just isn't interested, just move on. Do your best to look to new horizons. Looking back only means pain.

I stopped talking to my last GF after she blew another guy & yet I'm some how the bad guy for calling her out on it, FUCK THE BITCH, bitches ain't shit but hoes & tricks

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>>733122324
Know your place, trash

>>733135241
Maybe she wasnt thinking
Maybe she thought you wanted to hear her voice
Maybe you should text her
I dont know the answer
But you can find closure if you talk to her

>>733123453
Do it fgt

>>733122324
Half native here. Liberals are the most racist people I've ever met.

>>733123453
Godspeed /b/ro do what you think might make ya happy

>>733135269
It might sound extreme, but if shes with you go ahead and leave her as helpless as possible so she cant take any more for you. As for him, hes breaking bro code and being a dishonorable faggot so he really deserves and ass whooping. No reason to hurt yourself

>>733123453
Make an informed decision. I support suicide so long as every other option has been exhausted. I won't be that person who says life is wonderful and suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem, because life sucks dick and not in a good way. I just hope you examine your life, its problems and determine whether or not this is the right and only answer.

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>>733135448
I gotta say though I'll this is my life when I work factory and ignore everything

> 5:30am wake up, eat breakfast, brush teeth
> 6:00 leave house on hour drive to work
> 6:45 pick up coffee from local shop
> 7:00 Arrive at work a half an hour earlier, traffic works out that if I'm 5 minutes later I arrive at 7:45
> 7:28 Old man I work with says "2 minutes till the bell" every day
> 7:30 Start bell goes off, old man then says, "Another day, another dollar" again every day
> I then proceed to work till 4:00 with two 15min beaks and one 30min lunch
> I work in the far corner of the shop with no one around
> I do not see or talk to anyone all day unless my foreman needs to tell me to make different parts
> 4:00 Drive home
> 5:00 Arrive home and make dinner
> 6:00 Shower and then contemplate killing myself
> 10:00 go to bed for the next day of this
Same things repeated indefinitely, this was the most depressing part of my life, but I liked me better as a person when I was in this state

>>733122324

I cant believe how fucking cisnormative you're being.

Cunt.

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>>733136274
I've been in the exact same position, except I went in at 9 and finished at 6. I went in for a bullshit job with no chance of advancement, three of my four coworkers trying to get me fired because I was the young gun, an old man (who was admittedly my only friend there) saying things he's said many times before and having absolutely no one else to talk to. I was an inspector so I never had to talk to anyone unless I asked where the trailers went. I'd go to the gym, go home and play WoW for an hour, eat, jack off and then go to bed and do it all over again. And this was in a province where I knew two people total.

If you know someone and you want to talk to her, do it. Don't feel guilty. Just do it. Say hello, start small. Talk about your day, her day, ask her about what's going on. How she feels about this movie, or that show, or fucking whatever. All you have to lose is your anxiety.

>>733122324
Previously
owned by
Crackers

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>>733130331
You couldn't be more wrong, of you're depressed you should come here, people here will tell you their worst stories and then suddenly you realize you don't have it so bad, problem avoided, you just think to yourself, it could be worse

My best friends life with my feelings stitched in, long one sorry..
>they met in highschool
>i always picked on them in a friendly way cause honestly they were great together and i was jealous.
>they went to different colleges but stayed together
>3 years after college they get married
>everyone is always asking when they are having a kid
>4 years into thier marriage
>i just got engaged myself
>i never asked about the children situation because it wasnt my business
>he asks me if i would be willing to donate a sample of sperm for his wife
>hes 100% sterile.
>they both really want children
>hes my best friend, has been like this as long as i can remember
>i agree, as long as im not responsible for the little thing
>couple of months after the procedure
>he calls me, crying
>"its not just me, its both of us"
>try my best to console him
>about 6 months later, his wife had hanged herself in the bedroom with a belt.
Now hes just an emotionless shell of a man i knew.
I try and talk to him as much as i can
Hes going through therapy and is on meds.
>its only recently occured to me
>i never talked to his wife about this even though we were all really close
>what if i could have helped more?
>what if i could have prevented it?
Its not my fault but i feel guilty. They both suffered and now he is dead inside.
I havent seen him smile in months. He hasnt left his house in months.

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>>733136719

>>733136939
Shit.

>>733133022
honestly bro, this is my first time browsing a bawww thread drunk, but let me tell you that last part really hit me.
The last girl i was talking to i though she meant the world the world to me but i didnt think that until she was gone.
What girl would sneak you into her house at 3am with her parents asleep because she just wanted to sleep with you? not even 2 weeks after doing that she says she doesnt want a commited relationsjip and since then i hacent heard anthing from her.
I just dot understand man i think i found the girl i could love but she leaves. and then on the other hand i have an ex that lloved me uncondinaltly but i didnt feel that same.
Fcuk man im only 19 and im readly to find my souldmate and wife, as much as being single is nice i just log for the partner where everything is always niceaorry for the reant

Sadme.me man

>>733136939
I did not want to cry tonight
Fucking hell.

>>733136939
why not just adopt a newborn child???just curious...

>>733137377
They thought about it but they wanted their own, with their own dna. I couldn't really get it at first. But after seeing how much they spent on fertility treatments.. It was very important to both of them.
His wife also had a previous dui which makes adoption quite difficult.

>>733137227
Unfortunately man, at that age, everything is basically up in the air. As much as it sucks to hear, you're still evolving and changing and so is everyone else; at least for another 6-10 years. It's one reason why marriage ends in divorce so much, people fall in love, get married in a year and then it's over. People change over time, and personally I had big evolutions at 15, 18, 23, 25, and 29. I'm just starting to think it's reached an equilibrium. The thing with women is that they do the same thing, yet it seems more random and they seem to be more influenced by their peers so you may see regression or all out personality change in the age range of women you are dealing with. It's possible you will find your soul mate, but when you break up at 19 you have to realize in 2 or 3 years shes not going to be the person you love and you arent going to be the person that loved her.

Imo you'll have to do a lot of introspection and find yourself, it'll grant confidence and allow you to be yourself and attract more compatible women and it wont hurt quite as bad if it doesn't work out. I understand wanting to have that connection right now, when you have it, it's time to let go but ultimately one will come hopefully when you are both at a stable equilibrium in life. Until then, it's all learning experiences. Learning about yourself and learning about women, evolving from your mistakes etc. so when you find someone you're going to keep, you wont repeat those mistakes. The thing is, as I said, women can change on a whim and it can be after a month or years so don't be afraid to play it slow bro.

>>733131908
Stu?

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>>733137685
You and me, we're the same.
Both you and I were always alone.
We were always waiting.

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>>733124789
Oh. My. God.

>>733137590
I can understand this. Im almost 40. Never married. I want a child and as far as i know im physically able to. But ill never meet a girl to have one with. I could adopt. But thats not really my child, i had no part in creating it. Its not 'right' and i cant explain that. Its just not what i want.

>>733137970
And this is coming from me-->
>>733125185
>>733129891
>>733130363


That robot who crushed my soul after all that time with a neutral tone of voice used to lay in bed next to me every night and ask me to promise id love her forever, that I'd never leave. That she was so happy we were together. I kept my word, I still do actually. The whole thing ended up giving me stress/insomnia induced seizures. Thats the worst part bc of the temp memory loss, everytime I have a seizure I have to wake up and relive all the good and the bad. It's probably the worst thing ever.

>>733138121
>almost 40
>want a kid
>on 4chan
Damn ur life is sad

>>733122324
This has to be bait...right?

I finally broke down after holding in all the stress my lover and I have been going through, plus just my own personal issues. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm trying to quit drinking but it's one of the few ways I cam deal with anything these days.

>>733122324
Did you just assume his gender. This offends me. You're a sick, disgusting creature. I sexually identify as a turnip and this sickens me. What if he sexually identifies an an artichoke? Take your privilege and.go somewhere else. I have to go read some slam poetry later.

>>733139451
Drinking will only grow and make it worse dude, go get real help. If you let the liquor take over, much more will be fucked up, I've been there and its not sustainable

>>733139562
Kek

>>733139451
Drinking makes it worse, much worse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb6D7TaULb0

I don't know you at all OP (obviously) but I sincerely hope you're doing okay.

>>733139773
I wish we were all doing okay. If I could live to see an entire year without a feels thread (without mod faggotry), I could feel some satisfaction.

>>733139568
>>733139568
I know man. I'm in therapy and shit but it's really hard for me to open up to people these days. My boyfriend and I are. Otherwise trying to quit but he keep's going put with the guys and drinking which makes me want to drink then I cave then the next thing I know wereally back to buying 190 proof grain alcPhil and finishing the bottle in two days. We're both ducked up but I'm so much worse. I can't handle any form of emotion uneeds I'm ducked. I just wanna drink to make it all go away again. I'm tired of me and my bf fighting all the time cause of all the stress. I just wish he would stop like he promised so we can get better

>>733139665
I know. Shit just sucks

>>733140048
But I drink anyway. I'm all by myself, drinking and trying to talk to people who will probably not respond. Don't be me.

>>733139998
It only covers up the problems and breeds resentment, idk what he is supposed to be trying to change but sometimes you have to look out for yourself. If you decide you want a positive change and he cant or wont work toward it, then you may have to go it alone. Continue with therapy and try to find the right meds and you will forget all about drinking. If you keep drinking to suppress, or feel emotion it'll come out wrong if it does at all and if it doesn't it will explode and be 10x worse than otherwise. On top of that, if you are dealing with problems between the both of you as well as personal problems, they will both be magnified and hurt the relationship more as that stuff only compounds. I know it seems best to stuff it away and ignore it but it'll destroy you in the end

>>733140194
I usually drink with my bf but we're both alcoholics. We agreed not to drink anymore? But we bought a bottle of Graves. Finished it off yesterday and I'm itching for more

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>>733140388
You can only adhere to your own promises. If you want to drink, tell your friend you're not going to drink anymore.

I've already polished off half a bottle of Crown and I'm still wanting to drink, even though I work in 7 hours. It's a second job so I don't honestly give a fuck, but I take pride in doing a good job no matter what I do. I'm just a heavy drinker.

>>733140388
And the problem is???

>>733140311
We got smashed a few weeks ago. Both blacked out and we woke up with our bedroom door broken, ceiling fan not working right, 2 wholes in the wall and I had cuts on my arm and a huge gash on my leg. What we were able to piece together is that we got into a nasty fight. We never fight unless it's about money so we don't know what happened. That's why we stop drinkin. We don't want to be those people who detroy themselves and the people are them when we drink. He's slowed down but he hasn't stopped. I think he just more addicted than I am, but I just wish he would have gone cold turkey like we were trying to. I don't wanna do this on my own. There's no way I can do it. And I know he can't do it alone either

>>733123198
Being alone is when we truly have to face ourselves. So many people are afraid to be alone because they are afraid to face the truth behind the self.

That's why you see so many people struggling to find someone to distract them from themselves. They aren't weak, not any weaker than the rest of us but ultimately if you want to really live, you have to face the self.

>>733140596
I've only had 2 beers tonight I need more. I want my god damn grain alcohol. And it's hard when you live with someone you love still tied down to their addiction. It makes you want to be tied down them cause it easier than trying to cut the ropes

>>733135241
Go talk to her man, bitches love forbidden shit (fuck her dad)

>>733140798
Jesus christ Im a hardcore alcoholic it causes me no stigma in my personal professional life I have enough problems already and this is stupid.

Get your fucking life together.
Learn to handle your booze
If he doesnt want to quit or change.
Then fuck him leave his ass

> I had cuts on my arm and a huge gash on my leg

Sounds like a real class act

>>733140678
We've been killing a bottles of 190 proof grain in about two days for 6 months now and beforw that me and him drank vodka everyday for like a year and we're getting worsettled and worse handling are emotions when we're sober

>>733140798
I've been there, you may have to go to substance counseling and therapy and separate if he wont help. If you really want to quit. Money issues dont go away because of fights and drinking will only magnify it. If you're getting wounded and stuff then that's not a good sign either. The thing is learning to drink occasionally or in moderation but you wont be able to do that until you can put it down for good and if he won't be a part of that get your family or friends to help, find some professional help too and get to addressing the issues that make you feel like you need to drink. Otherwise it'll only get worse.

>>733121849
Gonna try to post some encouragement, whatever you want to think of it as.

Lets stop thinking about the ideas that people are there to love us, because we know this isn't true. The ideas of "love" from others only comes from a desperate reciprocation that someone else needs us.

I think we're wired to believe that other people love us as a survival mechanism.

And so, I ask everyone in this thread to have some self respect tonight. Think about why you want to live and take it and hold onto it.

And I'm not talking about some stupid "I wanna live for others," but really the most selfish, self-driven thing you want to live for in your life, and cling to that as hard as you can.

Folks who are beautiful or have the luxuries of friends/family who love them, money etc, may have a leg up but there is not really any pride in being handed something.

Not dissing on someone who has this, because it's just what it is, I ask the folks who see themselves to start being kind to themselves just because they can. Instead of pretending like you're "doing something because she/he wanted you to," I want you to start doing it for yourself.

No matter how hard you fight for it, sometimes you won't get what you really need. You know your strengths and weaknesses and you'll know if it's worth fighting for you will but first, before you can fight for someone else, no matter how desperate the two of you are, whoever you are, you need to learn to fight for yourself.

>>733141007
C'mon James, if you want you can always try to talk them out of drinking. There's no point in tying yourself down to a person because of their addiction, no matter how much you may feel for them. There comes a point when you need to cut it all off.

>>733136939
>What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer? The answer is, don't think about it

I'm pretty sure she being sterile was Just the last straw, it's always a lot of shit going down before something that bad happens. You can help now though

>>733141082
Did that for years bro, it'll catch up to you eventually. The liquor always wins

>>733140881
I'm scared to drink alone. I was addicted to xanax a while back and for some reason when I drink alone are start asking around for it so I tend to not drink alone unless I have adderal cause it makes me just want to draw or game

>>733141427
Liquor makes me think, Randy.

>>733141513
Hey, pillhead. You're pathetic.

>>733138860
>Not even bismuth is so edgy

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Anyone here care to read about my lame ass drama?

>years and years of women come and go in my life
>cant concrete a marriage or anything significant
>mother is growing old and I really want her to met her grandson/ grandaughther
>it isnt happening
>used to believe in love and suffered during breaks
>slowly not caring anymore, no heartbreaks, no love, no meaning
>why live?

>>733141513
"Be alone," don't "drink alone," drinking alone implies you're hiding from yourself because you're using alcohol as a crutch to distract yourself from the real you.

I'm not talking about being alone with something like your internet or something, or something to distract you from facing you, I mean being truly alone.

And sometimes it takes that much to really see who we are.

It's never a pretty thing but once we face "ourselves' and who we stand and how we stand on our own, sometimes we don't really know the extent of our own strength.

As gay as it sounds, sometimes embracing the comfort in solitude is the only thing that really need. Because once we see how we are by ourselves, we'll know how we can be without having to be a crutch for someone else. And so, we can empower them, instead of having this bizarre trauma bond who will latch onto someone else who may or may not be stronger, or follow you into the same doom, that you feel you have felt for years.

You don't want to be responsible for that.

Do the best you can my friend there's never an easy way to face that loneliness, and no matter what always remember that you are still you. Despite what happens you know that you'll always have yourself. And sometimes when you can't even trust yourself to make due with what you have then who else can you trust beyond that?

>>733141701
Lol. Topkek.

Hello darkness my old friend, dubs and OP kills his girlfriend

>>733141701
I may suggest the stupidest thing ever, but can't you just adopt?

>>733141536
You can cruise at a 7/10 but you know you can only drink with the grain of the liquor. It starts to do the thinkin bud, then you become the liquor and its fucked!

>>733141623
Nah dude, that's not true. This anon is trying to self medicate through some serious shit, we all do it in our own ways and tbh its super easy to get addicted to benzos because all of your problems and worries literally fade away and you can actually feel some type of normal or happy for a while. I don't think pathetic is accurate, but it is unfortunate considering the situation and getting help can fix that.

I'm going to assume you've never used any substances for any reason though,

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>>733141817
Itt pic related

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>>733141950
Pic related

>>733141701
There's societal expectations, and as much as you want to make your mother happy, realize that the only reason you are doing this is to make her happy and to give her that comfort that you are happy by being in a relationship.

It's called projecting.

I think maybe inherently you might be lonely, and there's nothing wrong with that, but realize that this desperate struggle to "appease" your mom will only lead you into more and more failed relationships as you try to fill a void that you can't do on your own.

So, do something for yourself. As selfish as it is. We all know your mother isn't going to be around forever but know that even despite what she may say or do, or how she expresses her love to you she's probably proud of you in her own way. Even if she doesn't say it or acts otherwise, she's subconsciously proud of you and I know this for a fact.

Just think about it, all she wants is for you to be happy.

That's what a mother's love is. So don't rush it, take your time and do what you can. That's ultimately what she wants for you, and even if you can't "find that girl" I'm sure she'll be happy that you've found some satisfaction in something.

Best of luck for you OP. As little comfort as it provides or even if you don't believe in it, I'll think about you and say a prayer for both you and your mother this week, and whenever I think about you. I hope that something comes along to distract you from some of the loneliness that you feel or at least something to make your mom happy, because who doesn't want that?

Even if it doesn't come I hope that you'll find someone or something to find happiness in. Mothers aren't forever physically but they always mean the best and will be there for you even after, so always remember to be happy even for your mother's sake regardless of what happens. Take care OP, love yah bro.

>>733141898
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

>>733141817
This guy gets it. It's a battle with yourself and yourself as your only partner at times. Find you and work to that, don't hold on to something that isn't working. It'll destroy you and you'll have more on your back when you're climbing up that hill.

>>733141345
My family is pretty fucked I don't talk to them. His family areunion also alcoholics. Our friends have said stuff to us before but we're all around the age of 20-23 so our friends don't really see how bad things are. He has slowed down a lot but it still a problem. We relapse and shit. It's just hard

I have no reason to live. i'm too ugly to breed, but to stupid to do something productive.

>>733141401
Lmao James is my boyfriends name haha and I'm not gonna give up on us unless I kow there's no hope and there is hope still

>>733142321
have you tried getting into a hobby? (like a non-computer one)

>>733141623
I'm don't do xanax anymore and I only do adder on occasion. I'm not a ducking pill head retard

>>733142321
THIS IS MY LAST RESORT. SUFFOCATION.

>>733125058
if my best friend wasn't my best friend, I would probably hate the guy.

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>>733122324

>>733142436
You sound like one. Get it together.

>>733141658
don't get the joke, explain?

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>>733142095

>>733141817
Looks like I'm gonna need some shrooms. It's been awhile but I usually dis cover more of myself when I trip

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>>733141427
>Did that for years bro
So have I longer then you

>it'll catch up to you eventually.
Im still doing it now and, no it hasn't.

>The liquor always wins
Did you not understand the part about learning to handle booze?

>>733142321
Then live for yourself.

Sometimes we aren't given the option or the things that we need to do to pass on your genes because maybe it's a testament to something that we need to prove to ourselves.

If you believe in no purpose, then take that and do what you can with it. Don't focus on what is expected of you because at the end of the day your self esteem and self worth will only be questioned by yourself.

It does feel good to have it acknowledged by other people and to be acknowledged by peers but ultimately when you see what you truly want (aside from someone else's approval) you'll not truly understand yourself or what you really want.

The confidence to stand alone despite being "ugly" or "unproductive" is arbitrary.

So just try to look past that.

Realize your not alone. there's plenty of ugly people out there, looking for not ugly people to be with mind you.

But other people understand the struggle. You won't ever be promised you find these people but for the time being do what you can to protect yourself and guard your heart.

You may be ugly, (don't worry I am too), everyone is ugly in their own way, but that doesn't mean you can't make yourself feel at least a little better about your situation. Do what you can. I'll think about you and say some words for you, even if you don't believe in it, maybe as just a gesture, I hope you find something to find purpose in, or some pride in so you can continue forward in this lonely place.

>>733141935

I don't think it is what my mother is looking for. I'm sure she wants to see me building a family with a good woman.

>>733142431
umm not that I remember. I work a lot, this is where my free time is spent, i've tried piano, I've treid learning code, I've tried writting, and drawing to some extent. I've failed at all these

>>733142450
is this some way of saying 2edgy4me forgive my autism

>>733125459
The suckiest thing in the world is being "almost normal"

normal people obviously have it good. I'm not saying their situations are always perfect, but hey, they are normal.

Autistic fucks go around with their sonic shirts playing nintendo ds not giving a fuck about what people think of them.

That grey area in the middle, though. I think it sucks because they are the most self aware. They know they can almost be happy, but somethings is off. and they know other people know it too. So they know what other people think; "anon is a pretty cool guy, I wonder why he's still single. I don't want to date him, but he's an alright guy isn't he?"

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>be me
>be about seven months ago
>in long distance relationship
>lived with them for a while, had to move back home due to financial issues
>they start to go unresponsive
>eventually I'm talking to them about once a month, if even that
>start to feel like they don't care about me anymore, debate leaving
>have no idea what the fuck I should do
>not only was the relationship extremely important to me, but every time we talked it was the best times of my life
>eventually get peer-pressured into deciding to end it, never actually do
>skip to around mid-January
>end up cheating, they find out a few days after our one-year anniversary
>turns out they were fatigued from severe depression, actually had to go through physical therapy from how little they got out of bed
>they left me, I stayed with the girl I cheated on them with
>"May as well only ruin one person's life"
>fast forward to, like, a week ago
>I left the girl I cheated on them with because I wasn't happy at all
>can't stop fucking thinking about my ex and how all of this could have been avoided if I'd have just cared a little more

Fuck.

>>733142202
I know it is, also with your friends being in that age range and not getting it, probably puts you in situations that make it easy to drink. You're going to have to be decisive and make some tough decisions, if you even have one close friend you can trust talk to them and see if they can be someone to rely on and hopefully get it. If not, I know it sounds shitty, its not so bad but go to AA and find a sponsor. They really want to help but you'll have to decide yourself first. It's gonna be hard, its going to be shitty but if you were addicted to xanax and quit it probably wont be as bad as that was tbh. You're going to have to separate from the things holding you back too. I know cutting back is good and all but if you woke up cut with damage and shit everywhere, apparently that's not enough. It'll have to be cold turkey and there are meds to help ween you off booze

>>733142733
NO BREATHING. DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I CUT MY ARM BLEEDING