How do I summon a demon?

Cut off your nipple and put it on your dick then show us the pic

>>732934173
Try shouting really loud.

File: now_showing.jpg (487KB, 666x3212px) Image search: [Google]

487KB, 666x3212px

>>732934173
read the torah out aloud

>>732934173

Pick up a phone and ask your mother to come by.

Create a start-up company in Brooklyn.

this is not /x/ faggot

>>732934173
Just be your real inner self

>>732934380
Ok

You can't anymore. The last volumes that contained any trace of such a power were lost in the second World War. Even before that they were extremely rare.

DON'T!!!

you need to sacrifice a life to some demon

>>732934783
underage b&

chant for ZoZo

>>732934783
cum on bible
shout hey satan
suck demon dick

File: 1494802497612.png (346KB, 695x960px) Image search: [Google]

346KB, 695x960px

You don't.

They summon you.

>>732934173
Go back to the 1500s when people thought things like that were possible.

>>732934173
Call 911.

>>732934173
by not shit posting this stale pasta

if you want the devil you have to drink the blood of a baby goat

>>732934173
Usually a man will stand at an altar and say "I do"

start taking self harm request like another anon is doing at the moment

>>732935581
this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYGPgajSasI

>>732934173
aka "How do I summon something that doesn't exist."
Answer: You can't you can only make one.

>>732934173
I could tell you but you really don't fucking want to.

>>732934173
Carefully

>>732937529
Also, don't listen to anyone who tells you, "hurr Durr you'll die"
If a demon shows up, it's probably a lesser demon, like a messenger of sorts. Keep some powerful holy relic on hand, and it won't want to kill you. Too much effort.
Why do you want this, anyway?

File: 64058_483659555006349_1180832574_n.jpg (39KB, 422x423px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 422x423px

>>732934173
drink about a quart of gin, eat a pint of ice cream and top it off with a dose of lsd.

that will bring a demon

File: petar.png (179KB, 529x299px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 529x299px

>>732934173
What compelled you to want to do this exactly? you want to do something more fun than summoning demons? okay here's what you do : put a paper bag over your head shove a vibrator up your ass. cover your hand in lighter fluid light it on fire while you are jerking off with your fiery hand all while running down the street bare naked singing "I'm a little teapot " at the top of your lungs. you will most likely be interrupted from the ritual by either the police or your grandmother. Have fun!

>>732934173

Sup. AAHZ here.

I been fuckin' with Beelzebub for a long time nao. I will tell you how it's done if you want.

But be warned. He will heal with fire.

>>732937715
>Messenger demon shows up

You're a fucking retard. While you'll probably not die, no "messenger" is going to show up. In best cases you'll end up getting possessed. For a demon to show up you'll have to have something it wants and you'll be offering it.

>>732934173
>>/x/

Call a feminist hotline and request to speak to a representative.

Call /x/.

Before you waste more of my time, why?

>>732934173
Put some shekels on your porch.

>>732934173
Go to any gender studies department and scream "Wage gap is a myth"

You know it worked when you hear banshees in the distance.

File: Screenshot_20170518-022841.png (197KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

197KB, 1080x1920px

wtf

File: Screenshot_20170518-022933.png (198KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

198KB, 1080x1920px

sum demon

>>732940041
Awesome

Look up demon you wish to summon online.
Copy the correct sigil exactly
Get 2 candles
Draw circle of salt around you
One candle before you one behind
Meditate one demon, focus on candle
Ask your questions respectfully
Provoke it and you are dead
Make sure your deal is worth your while
Good luck.

>>732934173
Ask for a Democrat to appear before you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iJZa4YYccA

>>732934173
Stick a freemason penis in your ass , and yell:
BALOGUGALUGALUGALUGA!!

File: 1561684465.jpg (57KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 640x640px

>>732934173
Easiest way is through "sexual magic" and the transfer of fluids. I'll explain.
First you must find a woman, put your penis in her butt and pee.
3 months later she will lay an egg, she will then sit on this egg for 6 months.
After the 6 months has passed the egg will hatch and out will come a stork. At this point make your wish, in this case a demon.
Once your wish has been made the stork will fly away, 24 hours later it will return with what youve asked for.
Thank me later.

>>732941362
very informative. How long have you been practicing the occult?

>>732941543
This will be my second christmas as an ovulatory thaumaturge

>>732934173
look in the phone book.
they're listed under "lawyer" and "attorney"

>>732942107
the cringe is strong sir Dad

may the Trump be with you

>>732934173
>How do I summon a demon?
Watch Bible Black.