ITT: We nerf each other's superpower >healing factor

>>732928062
I'm new how can i play?

>>732928062
you stay in a constant state of REM sleep

ability to be a tiger and human

>>732928155
You post a superpower and someone else has to make it moot in a funny or creative way.

>>732928288
>becomes tiger woods

>>732928354
good, i'm rich

>>732928354
Kek

Ability to turn into and back from any inanimate object

>>732929179
Can only transform in the absence of oxygen.

X-ray vision

>>732928062
There's always gold in my wallet that weigh exactly one ounce

>>732929426
>has the amazing ability to spawn solid lead buckets indefinitely
>slams lead bucket over your head

your move, four eyes

>>732929426
You an only xray man that are.60 or more

>>732929426
Only with your eyes closed

Godly intelligence

>>732929520
As long as the wallet remains closed

ability to manipulate magnetic fields

>>732929624
Stephen hawking levels of physical handicapiness

>>732928062
demands a pain quota to sustain its ability

>>732929624
At the expense of all 4 limbs

>>732929669
>only when not grounded

>>732929625
nice

>>732929684
wundernugget

>>732929624
intelligent to the point where nobody is smart enough to process the information

>>732929527
A football helmet

ability to teleport behind you

>>732929815
>make bigger buckets

>>732929822
Having something personnel, kid

>>732929822
only able to teleport flesh, all hair, fingernails, bodily fluids, and clothing or gear remain in place

>>732929904
bigger football helmet

>>732929822
Only when I'm not blockchaining

ability to maintain a healthy friendly relationship with every single person involved in my every day life. no drama or negative stigma towards anyone

ability to turn unite Africa and turn it into a utopia revenge colonizing Europe ;)

>>732929986
>nanomachine-infused bucket to reactively grow bigger with each bigger helmet

>>732930221
AIDS.

>>732930145
>Infinitely friendzoned

>>732930359
is cured with utopian technology

>>732930221
Only works if the whole population of africa is white and europe is black

>>732930145
Constantly smell of rotten eggs and mackerel

>>732930145
Your days become legsacks, and in legsacks there are no superpowers.

>>732929927
>>732929927
LOOOL

Ability to fly

>>732930574
If naked

>>732930620
I'm ok with this... There nothing like surprise buttsex from above

Can never lose when gambling

>>732930422
which requires taking away the patient's life to produce one vaccine for another patient

>>732930776
Hates gambling

The ability to accurately predict the future at most six hours in advance.

>>732930776
Only make enough to replace money spent

>>732930776
consistent wins cause you to get kicked out of every casino

>>732930858
forced to make important decisions a full day in advance

Ability to control other people's minds

>>732930858
Only if you can't have any effect on outcome

I am able to form and organize thoughts at the rate of 10,000,000 per second.

>>732930975
only when they or you are asleep

>>732930998
All you can think about is MLP porn

>>732930975
requires your name to be Charles Manson and the people to be on LSD

>>732930998
All of them have to be about farts

>>732930998

Unable to control own bodily functions

>>732931038
kek

Pyrokinesis.

>>732929179
Only turn into condoms for gay butt sex.

my entire body and insides are covered in an impenetrable gold paint, but i can still move around and do stuff normally, doesnt affect me at all outside of making me invincible

>>732929151
you're black

>>732931122
you are also a fish

>>732931122

Only in the rain

>>732931122
aka you piss literal fire

>>732931122
Unable to go longer than 12 seconds without burning something

>>732929426
You have to see through everything.

>>732931143
Paint clogs your insides leading to incredible pain

>>732930998
>>732931038
I'm fine with this

Complete control of the dopamine levels in my brain

ability to destroy all anime in 4chan

Truly free will

>>732929520
There's also a one ounce shit in there too.

Control over gravity (gravitational pull, repulsion, increase/decrease)

ability to make any food i want appear in front of me by saying/typing/signing/etc the name of the food

>>732930221
it's still full of black people

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>>732931233
must post bananas instead

>>732931219
You can't control it well and could easily kill yourself with the chemical manipulation

>>732931143
since your insides are gold plated, and impenetrable your body wastes away because you cant absorb nutrients

>>732931237
paralysed

>>732931143
in the heat your gold heats to the point of frying you from the inside out

>>732931195
no i said it doesnt affect me at all

>>732931233

Destroyed anime will forever reside in you.

Bless martyr

>>732929624
But you're in a coma.

>>732931233

4chan becomes all Andy six log threads

>>732931122

you incinerate everything within 3 feet of you

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>>732931259
you get into an accident trying to eat it

X-ray vision

>>732930776
casino only pays out in funny money, in which the bank never accepts it as legal tender

>>732931252
Your changes affect the entire universe simultaneously

>>732931259
you also turn into that food

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ability to make my OTP canon

>>732931252
as in, control of all gravity everywhere. like how everything pulls things closer to itself. so if you use your power too much you literally kill the entire earth

>>732930975
you lose self identity when doing so

You can whistle really loudly.

>>732931350
X-ray vision without bounds, you just see through literally everything all at once

so you see through that wall, and the wall behind it , and the car behind that, and the house behind that

>>732931350

every time you use it your vision degrades by a point

>>732930998
you scale in age at the same rate

>>732931421
bad paws

>>732930145
But you have down syndrome.

>>732931323
Ok, fine. How about this:

Your golden coating means that you will never go more than a day before a group kidnaps you to sell you on the black market

>>732931394

You're immediately unsatisfied

>>732931423
essentially equivalent to being blind

ability to motorboat powergirl's boobs

>>732931350
but it lets you see skeletons instead of tits

>>732931405
It hurts your ears

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>>732931350
permanently stuck seeing black and white, only ever seeing skeletons

>>732930221
All infertile, and no more blacks.

You are an expert marksman, able to hit a target a mile away with any weapon

>>732931259
Except it all tastes like dog shit

>>732931405
but uncontrollably, and only when gay men pass by

>>732931485
She has a dick

>>732930574
Only with a black man riding you.

can instantly acquire any skill at expert level

>>732931405
all of your spoken s's now whistle

>>732931532
can never hold fake baby again

>>732931148
FUCK

>>732931557
awesome wooh

>>732931532
But every weapon you use fires miniature dragon dildos

>>732931532
your dick falls off

>>732931532
Only able to concentrate properly when you have your own fist up your butt

>>732931532
You can only use the power on objects exactly one mile away from you, and only literal targets

>>732931532
except guns and knives arent weapons, theyre tools. people are the real weapons. so you can only throw people

ability to eradicate all communist.

ability to peel bananas with my asshole

have a prehensile dick with a 2 ton grip

>>732930858
You go into a mini coma immediately after.

Eric is life. Eric is love.

>>732931583
Life becomes meaningless. enter terminal depression

The ability to ruin everyone else's superpowers by giving them ridiculous caveats.

>>732931532
Every shot you take has a 50% chance to cause an explosive malfunction

>>732931668
but you're the ANTIFA leader

>>732931583
which means you do everything at expert level, ie when you open a door you open it so hard the hinges fucking break and when you shake a persons hand you end up tossing them up and down

ROLLiii

>>732931683
requires the banana to slip up your asshole

you are able to heal from any injury, even regrowing limbs

>>732931668
by killing everyone else as well

>>732931591
Gets killed at firing range

>>732930998
You look retarded so no one takes you seriously.

>>732931684
Can't use it for any sexual act, and it can only grip 2 tons. not lift it

>>732931683
every banana you peel goes straight into your ass before you have to eat it

>>732931532
you have an aspie complex that only allows you to hit Mark

not affected by wonderwoman's lasso of truth

>>732931752
Every limb grows back a little bit smaller

>>732931683
but thats gay so now you're gay

>>732931684
dick has a mind of its own

You never feel depressed. In any situation where you would be depressed, your brain releases minute amounts of serotonin.

>>732931774
it's a hand

>>732931752
the limbs grow back smaller than they were before

>>732931122
You burn yourself every god damn time.

>>732931752
but they regrow as dicks

>>732931781
yea because shes not real

>>732931702
must be on 4chan to do it

FUck me in the ass

>>732931684
the only thing sexually attracted to you is a male dolphin, who also has a prehensile penis

>>732931702
nobody replies to your funny idea in the thread

Ability to manipulate all matter and space.

>>732931219
You get schizophrenia as a result.

>>732931811
you laugh at your loved ones' funerals

>>732931233
You become anime.

>>732931683
when you do that, keebler elves fall out your butt and revive zombie harabe, which then goes on a poo flinging rampage.

>>732931872
only when you're asleep

ability to kill every person that has an anime profile

>>732931872
you dont know how to control it and end up destroying literally all of existance

>>732931811
Happiness loses all meaning to you.

>>732931936
you have one too

Can convince ex to come back

>>732931668
every nation becomes china

>>732931936
u kill your mom

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>>732931892
no joke i did this at my grandpa's funeral when i was 3 bc i thought a bunch of people crying at the same time was hilarious

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Telekinesis

>>732931811
>minute
you only have 1 hour

>>732931976
as the opposite sex

>>732931976
she's already pregnant

>>732928062
Super Strenght

>>732931976
but then she leaves again for the same reason she did the first time

>>732931976
she got fat

>>732931936
Only on MySpace

ability to turn Chinese into Koreans

>>732932002
bones are not stronger, easily broken

>>732931976
can only come back from the dead

>>732931421
hey gurl

nice feet :)

>>732931485
After sucking off the entire justice league.

>>732932026
nobody notices or cares

>>732931997
I got a cleaver, that problem will be solved quickly

Power to eliminate political agendas in congress

>>732931976
ex comes back

>>732931532
It ricochets and hits you back.

Ability to change everyone's body and heal them.

>>732932053
they have hot men anyway

You reach enlightenment.

>>732932089
yes: you have the power to eliminate every single political agenda in congress, so every member of congress decides to quit

>>732932105
Comes with black baby

Possess the willpower to get fit and the physical capability to do so

>>732931583
You lose all skill in everything else.

ability to turn a drop of hot sauce to be really... really... HOT!

>>732932123
can only change people into Michael Jackson

>>732932123
every change affects everyone including you

>>732932123
you experience the exact same pain from whoever you heal during the process

>>732932192
as in sexy

>>732932174
You must have 10 midgets spank their baby batter onto your face twice a day for these powers to work.

>>732932196
That would be quite... thrilling.

>>732932174
>>732932174
But can only lift 100 lbs

>>732931683
Only when it's bleeding.

when accidentally dropping buttered toast, your cat like reflexes always catch it before it hits the ground while successfully avoiding being cut by the butter knife

>>732932174
Immediately bloat back up to whale-like proportions when you skip leg day

>>732932178
as long as you're doing one thing at a time, that doesn't matter

>>732932160
You realise all the red pills were false

you can fit ten dicks in your ass

>>732932227
that's not a downside

>>732932274
They're your ancestors

>>732932273
how is that a nerf

>>732932274
asian dicks

>>732932248
Smash head on counter while bending down giving you a massive head wound

>>732932160
You do so by cutting off your genitals

Immortality.

>>732931752
, but they regrow as black parts.

>>732932192
the hot sauce is fucking delicious and spicy but is more acidic than HCl

>>732932291
it is cause you know youre gonna end up trying to fuck it but its spicy as hell so it burns your dick

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>>732932274
doing so gives your cat rectal prolapse

>>732932346
but not invincibility

>>732932236
YYYAAAAAAAAA

>>732931811
, but your brain fries from being overactive.

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>>732932236

The ability to win at anything that requires strategy/tactics. Games, war, etc.

>>732932274
only from 10 clones of your father

>>732932274
You're straight and male

>>732929779
kek! so he dies alone, misunderstood by the savage apes that burn him at the stake

>>732932428
by cheating

I grant wishes.

>>732931872
You can only turn everything thing into dicks.

>>732931936
You become anime.

>>732931532
Except the target is always someone you care about

>>732932428
mundane auto body functions require outside assistance (breathing, eating, heart beat, autoimmune responce, et cetera)

>>732932346
But you're patalyzed from the neck down.

>>732928062
It's 100% perfect and you can never die, no matter what... but you can still suffer.

You will see all the people you love die... over and over... as generations come and go. Eventually humanity evolves and leaves you behind, a curio, a relic of a troubled past. You have long since past the point where you can remember anything of your life as you are now, your brain has a limited capacity and by now it's full of just the desire to die so you can experience something new. Farther still in to the future still the planet is engulfed when the sun goes nova, which is actually a bonus for you because by this time you're basically 100% likely to have become stuck somewhere... down a hole, bottom of the sea, in a cave or something. All life on the planet has been dead for a long while (the sun goes crazy before it goes nova) and you've run out of air, constantly choking for breath but you can't die. Except the sun going nova doesn't kill you either, the planet is destroyed and you are pulled in to the gravity of the star, where you stay (cooking at precisely LOTS Kelvin) until it finally explodes. You're sent hurtling across the barren void of space for many millennia, freezing & choking the whole time. The chances of you ever landing on something even remotely like a planet again are basically zero... but even if you do all that will happen is that you'll have to hang around on that rock until its star goes nova eventually too. Rinse and repeat until the heat death of the universe, at which point there will be only dust, no stars... and you, still quite unable to die.

>>732932475
only to liberals

>>732931976
After being used up by the whole black community.

ability to manifest and have sex with my furry waifu

>>732932475
you are a djinn

>>732931989
Paraplegic.

>>732932428
It's literally just the ability you already have. As in, by pure chance you could possibly beat magnus carlson at chess but it's no more likely to happen or easier

Able to have tree fiddy

>>732932536
Worth it, like the chessmaster from bebop. Lol

>>732932475
only thing people wish for is to be a little girl

>>732932582
wouldn't matter tho. you can move your body with telekinesis

>>732932160
After death.

>>732932567
people accept your identity as a dog, see that you have no tags (ie a stray), put you in a kennel, and you get put to sleep because no one wants to adopt you

>>732932428
can only win during christian holidays

>>732932563
Good! I am a liberal and same with my family kek.

>>732932264
You can't walk if you're doing anything else.

>>732932561
you always cut yourself on that edge

>>732932651
yeah siezure prone would probably be a better balance there

>>732932586
But to grant an instant understanding of fundamental mechanics of the task at hand, and operate off the cuff. Is teally what makes this a superpower. Like speedforce, lots of people can run, some fast, but then there's speedsters in a league of their own. Same concept, but with computation really.

>>732932248
You shit everytime from the shock of speed.

ability to silence loud chewing noises from anyone/anything

>>732932346
You're retarded.

>>732932808
except yourself

>>732932781
so, effectivly, twice buttered toast

>>732932475
But only Sinister ones, and you aren't allowed to refuse.

>>732932428
You can, but you're too lazy to.

>>732932825
my god you've created a troll

>>732932774
fair, but my nerf is still a limit

I will Never Gonna Give You Up

>>732932842
top fucking kek

>>732932907
you will be let down

>>732932842
Made me kek.

>>732932907
but you can never get the lyrics exactly right

>>732932808
you hear them vividly in you sleep instead

>>732932907
, but I'll give you up.

>>732930998
10,000,000 what per second?

Will never contract cancer

I'm immune to all things that would hurt me.

>>732933035
gets AIDS instead

>>732933035
, but you will get AIDS.

Ability to get any job you want

am become president

>>732933055
forever. you survive the end of the universe

>>732933109
After sucking off the boss.

>>732933055
dubs kill you, but they do not hurt

>>732933109
you're never satisfied which drives you to be perpetually depressed

>>732929580
>close eyes
>see through eyelids

>>732933124
am stump

>>732933109
It's always entry level with no chance of promotion.

>>732931143
people melt you down and sell you as gold bricks

>>732931691
>for six hours

>>732933008
'Thoughts', you dumbshit. It's not cryptic you piss flap, the answer is in the sentence. Go home you fucking immigrant.

>>732933152
i would suck anyone off if i can get a 6 figure salary job

Can think of really witty and funny responses on this thread, which will get you lots of (You)s

>>732931219
you like it so much you overdose yourself the first time using it.

>>732933219
Yeah, that's what I meant. I forgot to put that.

ability to convince everyone that pineapples belong to pizza

>>732933235
, but you're a nigger.

Turns out the universe has immensely powerful but not truly omnipotent gods. you befriend them all.

>>732933256
post must contain your full name, address, and nudes of your mother

>>732933304
After they already ate the pizza.

>>732933256
thread instantly 404s

you are a porn actor. when they do the money shot, your mutated dick jizzes out random currency all over the actor/actresses/dogs/cameramans face/chest/et cetera(and also during other times, such as when purchasing an item with cash and the register person is out of change, you give mr winkey a little tug to drop a few dimes)

Really bad at reverse psychology

>>732933304
leading to a worldwide pineapple shortage summoning the return of hitler as the only thing that can kill hitler is shoving a pineapple up his ass

>>732933431
ironically every time you drive someone reverses in to your car and you don't understand why

>>732931552
>gaydar

>>732933343
they're greek gods/titans

>>732933423
you can never keep anything to yourself or any immediate acquaintance

>>732933423
your mutated dick is just a cotton sock stapled to your thigh

>>732933423
but it lowers the value of all of the currency you jizz out.

ability to convince batman to marry wonderwoman