ITT: We nerf each other's superpowers Cont. from: >>732847928

>>732855468
Body riddled with cancer

>>732855468
Only when the cops are arresting you.

>>732855468
Can perfectly recite any line from any movie ever made

Ability to end the EU migration crisis

>>732855616
No one remembers the lines you're referring to

>>732855645
>everyone converts to islam

>>732855616
But anytime you recite a line, it gets tattooed on your ass cheeks.

>>732855683
Fuuuuuuuuck me thats good!

>>732855683
fucking savage

>>732855688
Kek

Ability to cut foliage at any length without tools [I work in landscaping]

>>732855688
Dayum

>Ability to talk to owls

>Ben Shapiro level argument abilities

>>732855706
>finally get woman drunk enough to fuck me
>about to plow that field, taking clothes off
>she looks at my ass
>why is "dead nigger storage" tattoed all over your butt?

>>732855757
But they can't understand you back

>>732855756
It grows back twice as fast each time you don't use tools.

>>732855756
You can only do it with your dick

>>732855756
Everytime you cut, fire ants shoot out of the foliage and attack you

>>732855766
Only while you're drunk.

>>732855797
Helicopter dick trimmer

Ability to seduce any chick you want

The power to beat depression.

>>732855852
Eternal whiskey dick

>>732855852
only attracted to relatively ugly chicks

>>732855804
Kek

>>732855852
You can never get hard.

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>>732855871
You die.

>>732855871
You end up dying anyway

>>732855871
Impervious to suicide

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I have the power to increase/lower my IQ at will

>>732855852
It's only baby chickens.

>>732855912
I don't think we need to nerf that, really

>>732855922
TOP KEK

>>732855912
Why would you want to lower it

>>732855922
Chek'd and kek'd

>>732855912
after you increased it, it decreases by the same amount from your normal level

>>732855969
Maybe if youre facing death penalty, you can be all Simple Eddie and cheat death

Ability to talk yourself out of any situation

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Deus Ex Machina

I raise my luck to 10

>>732856012
Everytime you use this power, you lose a tooth

>>732855969
the smarter you are the sadder you are, sometime you just want to be dumb

>>732856018
Vitality reduced to 1

>>732856012
You needgems to talk more than 5 times a day

>>732855612
Cant fucking die

can store and release 120 volts AC at will

>>732855468
Unlimited cum and control of bust amounts

>>732856105
Only trough your penis

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Can fuck any fictional character at least once

>fubuki

>>732856109
It comes out of your nose

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>>732855821
so i have a superpower ?
sweet

>>732856109
No woman will want to cummed upon by you

>>732856128
>not tatsumaki
Kys

>>732856125
How is that nerf? Id be a fucking power factory (pun intended)

>>732856128
She's made out of a piece of flat cardboard and give you papercuts every time

Get any girl I want, cum as many times as I want

>>732856168
>not Silver Fang

>>732855912
Isn't that called reading?

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>>732856168
Pedo detected
>i know she's 28

>>732856200
You never get to cum yourself

>>732855616
But have to always replace any noun with nigger.

>>732856222
Trips demand it
>Lieutenant Dan, you aint got no niggers

>>732856222
Nice trips

>Ability to one-punch anyone

>>732856091
You get older without the release of death

>eventually living dirt

>>732856279
Always shatter your arm bones no matter how soft you punch

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ability to find all the glitches in any system, real life included, so I can abuse them

>>732856105
You can only use it in Europe where everything runs on 240v

>>732856299
>eventually living dirt
>everyone on this board is basically living dirt

>>732856128
Your penis loses 50% sensitivity after every fuck

Can switch between genders at will

>>732856413
only when you sneeze

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>>732856413
Your sex remains the same
>>732856128
Only with gay males

>>732856413
You'll have the parts but you'll look like a botched trans

>>732856413
Genitals occasionally mix up

>>732856413
>when youre a male, SJWs and feminazis relentlessly harass you
>when youre one of the 60 other genders, Trump supporters and muslims relentlessly harass you

>>732856413
loose all memories every time

>>732856105
With a power factor nearly in zero

>>732856413
There are only 2 Genders

>Can Teleport behind anyone

>>732856348
You become a true neckbeard and will always remain unfulfilled

>>732856512
While they are farting

>>732856512
as long as they're standing with their back against a wall

>>732856512
Only works with corpses

>>732855912
your dick gets smaller when you increase your IQ

>>732856512
only anyone who loves you

>>732856512
Cant use katanas

>>732856128
you remain a fat neckbeard loser of the rest of your life

>>732856555
Kek'd and checked

>Ability to do sweet tricks with a moped

Dick taste can be any womens favourite flavour

>>732856512
you have to say "nothing personal kid" once you do it.

>>732856592
>moped
Nerf in and of itself
>>732856584
I have a gf IRL but fubuki love, fubuki is life

>>732856617
Your dick is poisonous

>>732856617
You become a woman yourself

Wounds heal up almost instantly. Consciousness can't be split - only the best part heals up if split in two or more pieces.

>>732856617
Marmite

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>the power to stop time

Ability to finally fix all the world's problems

>>732856669
It erodes at your lifespan exponentially

>>732856695
You become its problem

>>732856684
Your body freezes but you remain conscious while time is stopped

>>732856669
You see all your friends die and end up old, lonely and bitter in a world you don't want to be in.

Can read minds

>>732856684
You can't restart it

Ability to create the perfect combinations of subway sandwiches

>>732856732
Then whats the point?

>>732856684
Every time you unpause time goes 2x faster for you

>>732856669
Everyone considers you very boring and bland

>>732856623
Keked

Can time travel

>>732856753
Nerf'd

>>732856746
It's all in Japanese

>>732856747
No chips, no drinks, no cookies

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>>732856671
Kek

>>732856788
Only travel forward in time, at slightly faster than normal

>>732856747
You become fat as fuck

Ability to bring Hitler back from the grave

>>732856669
You become redder each use, horns get longer

>>732856845
Hes a vegan pacifist

>>732856825
Dude it's /b/ we're all fat basement dwelling loosers

Ability to Multiply strength at will, at the expense of stamina

>>732856845
He kills you.

>>732856845
You're jewish

>>732856799
So... he learns japanese.. double power? But why?

>>732856876
I'm not

>>732856898
Worth it

>>732856823
Could've been worse
[spoiler]maybe I shouldn't have said that[/spoiler]

>>732856773
>>732856849
>>732856734
Totally fine with these.

>>732856892
If you havent gotten at least 9 hours of sleep the night before, you shit your pants when your strength increases

>>732856892
Only when no one can see you, including small bugs

>>732856695
Too lazy to use it

Ability to relive 4chans better days

>>732855771
gtfo of my head

>>732856746
You read all the minds in a range of 2 km around you, even animals wich produce indescriptible sound noise

>>732857037
You can not browse /b/

>>732857064
*bro fist

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>>732856948
>Be me
>S-Class Hero
>But no one knows it because of nerf
>One day
>giant monsters start raping people and fucking shit up
>All the heros are down
>Multiplies to 10x strength
>saves day
>"Thanks anon for saving our- is that... shit?"
>Little girl points and laughs
>THE BIG GUY SHAT HIMSELF
>Walk away with whole city laughing and pointing

>>732855683
>>732856077
>>732856356
>>732856446
>>732856482
>>732856623
>>732856671


LELELELELELELELEL

This thread is gold

>>732857130
I audibly Kek'd

>ability to turn into a ripped nigger

>>732857161
>literally ripped, as in torn in half

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>>732857161
>turns into a nigger

Ability to see up to 1hr into the future

>>732855912
but regardsless, you cant increase or lower the amount of knowledge you already have

>>732857161
only before 21st century

>>732857235
Nothing interesting ever happens

>>732857235
Your vision is impaired while using this ability

>>732857235
You can only see the future of a 93 year old women on the other side of the planet

>>732857235
You immediately take a one hour nap after seeing the future

>>732857235
Only in black and white, no sound

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I have Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan

You're instantly liked by everyone you meet

>>732857340
They hate you once they get to know you

The ability to program any app in short time

>>732857374
Just like real life lololo

>>732857335
Everyone you tell asks what it is, you explain in depth each time.

>>732857429
No matter what you do they never catch on

unparalleled driving skill

>>732857488
Quadriplegic

>>732855468
...on the web

>>732857429
Any app only for Nokia with windows

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>>732857466
Fuck no

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>>732857335
Nice Daytona 675

>>732857335
but you also have severe Down's Syndrome

>>732857531
L8 but gr8

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>>732855468
the ability to be un-nerfable

>>732857488
only with Razor scooters

>>732857630
Be mediocre

>>732857466
topkek

>>732857630
But you have no powers either.
>there's always one

>>732857630
but you can be killed by Airsoft just fine

>>732855468
your only will is to suck nigger dicks

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>>732856747
But you work there.

>>732857677
Fuck yeah boiii

>>732857705
you are a vacuum cleaner

Ability to impregnate girls without them knowing

>>732857630
Goddamn it Greg.

>>732855894
ha

>>732857733
only if you're related to them

>>732857733
The baby knows youre the father

>>732857733
But somehow the kid is never yours
>go cuck yourself

>>732857733
The children know and resent you.

You can relive any time in your life whenever you want to

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I can open a portal to any location, relocating me or anything else that has the motion to move through it.

Know with 100% entirety all of humanity's history and why the world works the way it does

>>732857907
But you choose not to because you're a nihilist

>>732857233
>but only Michael Jackson

>>732857922
The location is random

>>732857922
You can never go back to a previous location

>>732857733
You dont know either

>Ability to generate money just by sucking someones dick

>>732857935
You relentlessly try to explain your power to people and no one believes you

>>732857935
Member of a shadow-jew cult

>>732857922
somehow it's always Fresno

>>732857976
That's not a superpower

>>732857907
Your mother nags you when you activate the power.

>>732857976
Allergic to seminal fluids

>>732857935
But you're in a coma with no hope of recovery

I am Superman

>>732857935
You're only attracted to black women under 5'5

>>732858042
played by Nic Cage

>>732856623
That only makes it better

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>>732857999

>>732858042
No sun

Can recite any MLP episode by heart

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The ability to manifest anything into existence in pristine form.

>>732858121
but only while masturbating

>>732855912
Except you have aids

>>732858132
but it's made of antimatter

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>>732858072
I am Saitama, then.

>>732858132
Only works when smelling infected vaginas

>>732858132
No one appreciates it

Understand domesticated animals

>>732858227
but you actually have to
faggot

>>732856128
They each become pregnant and demand child support.

>>732858260
exclusively attracted to underage domesticated animals

>>732858260
They share their horror stories and you realize they hate being our slaves

Empathy towards them drives you to an hero

>>732856128
they get to fight back

>>732858260
Only those in slaughterhouses

>>732856355
230

>>732858208
you already nerfed yourself

>>732858063
The fuck does this have to do with the power?

made me laugh but thats just random

>ability to see through any object i want (shirts, walls, people etc.)

>>732858380
Only works if you smear fresh shit in your eyes

>>732858380
Eye cancer

>>732858380
...and also any object you don't

>>732858364
How?
Caped Baldy > Superman

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>>732856247
Lieutenant nigger you ain't got no Dan

>>732857976
but youre a crackwhore and you have to use your ability 24/7

>>732858425
B
A
L
D

Be happy

>>732858470
in death

>>732856753
Reading something, thinking,

Not be depressed or have social awkwardness

>>732858380
You're otherwise legally blind

>>732858501
>>732858492

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>>732858460
Oh yeah...

>>732858515
That makes me a sad panda

>>732857976
that's not a superpower, that's called being a prostitute

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>>732858548

>>732858414
>>732858409
Kekd

>ability to jump any hight i want and land unharmed

A little harder i think

>>732857235
you cant change anything that happens

>>732858599
your legs are three times larger than they should be

>>732858599
Always land in fresh dog poop

>>732858599
You can't land before you have reached 40.000 feet

>>732856348
You can't control your anal sphincter

>>732855757
You talk to them but they don't understand you

>>732858701
damn, I can't nerf that one
10/10 gr8 power

>>732855757
but only in order to spread the Gospel

>>732858660
Nice

>ability to shape shift into anything and back whenever i want

Ability to transform people's faces into an ass

>>732858319
>take cat into slaughterhouse
>talk to it
>take it out

>>732855852
but then you age regress and she becomes your babysitter

>>732856348
but the devs are always trying to nerf you

>>732855757
But you only know the informal owl dialect so they don't take you very seriously

>the ablity to meet hitler at any time

how will this end badly?

>>732856018
Intellect gets reduced to 1

>>732858950
he's still dead

>>732856746
But you have to ask permission every time.

>>732859151
>walk up to qt grill
>if i can read your mind perfectly you suck my dick, deal?
>if yes, profit
>if no, try another one

>>732855969
to post retarded shit like >>732855969

>>732859122
>plays lottery, takes 0 intelligence
>profit

>>732858859
thats my fetish

The ability to teleport anything anywhere instantly

>>732856845
But only in the presence of a Jewish executioner.

>>732855912
can only go up to 100

>>732855683
me_irl

I shit large amounts of money once every 2 days!

>>732856892
The weight and vitality of everything around you multiplies relatively.

>>732859346

You can't control the destination of your teleported things. It usually winds up being sent into space because theres much more space than earth.

What's going on?

>>732857161
You can't turn back.

>>732858788
their ass-face is more beautiful than your normal face

>>732859585
Someone says a power. Another person puts a restriction on that power.

>>732855756
It sets the foliage on fire

>>732857907
Your life isn't worth living.

>>732857922
The portal looks like an anus and treats you like fecal matter when you pass through it, includes the smell and everything.

>>732855852
But you're gay

>>732857935
Can do nothing with this knowledge.

Immune to poison

>>732858132
It's always made of feces.

>>732858260
Only while taking a shit.

The ability of super speech, I can bluff my way out of anything. My lies are perfect. I can convince people anything.

>>732859891
Body language always gives it away

>>732858501
You instead have bi-polar disorder and can only socialize with homosexual men engaged in coitus.

>>732859346
, but you teleport your body parts off of yourself everytime. It starts with your dick.

>>732858599
You shit yourself every time you jump and land.

>>732859891

You don't speak the native language of the country you're in.

>>732856045
Get the fuck out of this site, normie faggot

>>732858786
The process lasts hours and is extremely painful
For you

>>732858788
They shit in your face everytime you do it.

>>732859546

Not nerfed yet

>>732858786
You immediately lose consciousness when you change shape.

>>732855468
bump

>>732857130
>>732857130
hollywood gold.

>>732859758
Your body reacts to everything you eat and drink as if it were poison - everything tastes horrible and your gag reflex is insane

>>732858788
Your face does the same.

>>732855771
holy shit I haven't laughed that hard for a long, you're a fucking genius

>>732859891
You were born without a tongue.

>>732856279
Get knocked out by the lightest hit.

Ability to absorb and emit electromagnetic waves from anywhere in the spectrum with perfect precision. Can shoot Superman heat rays or perform chemotherapy at will
>my body is never harmed by the rays I absorb

>>732857630
when dressed as ned flanders.

Ability to copy any ability from any anime I've seen

>>732859546
It's in Iranian currency.

>>732856512
Have to teleport back after half a second

>>732860101
Sadly that spectrum is autism

>>732860101

You can only absorb the energy around you with a metal antenna shoved up your ass.

Can summon demons and bind them to my will without having to make any bullshit contracts with them

Can manipulate space and time

>>732860132
But you're gay

>>732860164
Worth it tbh

>>732860101
You have terminal cancer. Each time you absorb or emit the waves, the tumor worsens. You cannot treat yourself.

>>732855706
"37 dicks. My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks."

"At the same time?"

>>732860167
The demons get to fuck you in the ass afterwards as payment for their services

>>732860132
Ten children are raped everytime you utilise this ability and everyone knows you are the cause of their pain

>>732860170
You become lazy as fuck and using the power always takes more concentration than you're ever willing to invest

>>732860132
Can only be futanari

>>732860167
Obese SJW's.

>>732860167

The demons are very lazy.
No fighting or heavy lifting.

Also they make fun of you behind your back constantly.

>>732860274
Just like my real friends

>>732860242
This saddens me.

Any projectile I fire will always reach its intended target

>>732860170
Time is a construct and you can only manipulate space in a single square foot cube.

>>732860308
Much like your real friends demons do not exist in this reality so your powers are as about as useful as obtain images off google

Ability to get dubs and higher at will

>>732860360
You're no longer anonymous.

>>732860360
Only on loli threads at your own will

I've got goku's powers

>>732860360

You misspell the thing you're trying to get with your dubs everytime

Ability to shit any periodic element I want
>Literal gold nuggets
>Caesium bombs
>Infinite uranium supply
So many possibilities

>>732860344
Projectile must be made out of cum and target must be a twink.

GET

>>732857037

FUCKED

>>732860431
goku is a an otaku who legally changed his name.
His powers are limited to walking

>>732860431
Everyone else has Saitama's powers

>>732860344
you fire projectiles by the ass and they are as big as a 5Liter waterbottle.
Their max speed are near to the speed of a snail

>>732860466
Your insides are made from some of the most potent and dangerous materials conceivable you will die with minutes of receiving these powers.

>>732860466
When you fart you kill all species alive in 5.000km around you

Ability to own any one human slave of my choice, everyone accepts this as normal and government immunity.

I can shoot lasers from my penis

>>732860644
You become a cat

>>732860657
Lasers are at 7.000°C and go instantly in your ass

>>732860537
But they still always reach their target no matter what
>North Korea declares war on western hemisphere
>Kneel down on front lawn with ass 45 degrees in the air
>Clench my teeth and think of Kim Jong Un
>HHHHHNNNNNNNNNGGGGG
>It hurts like hell but I must persevere for my fellow countrymen
>Nuclear warhead the size of a 5litre water bottle slides out of my ass
>Flies through the air at an impressive 0.5mph
>Nothing can stop it or detonate it early
>My vision is red but I gaze up at my handiwork
>Godspeed

>>732858121
Your superpower is being an autistic cuck?

Any country I enter is automatically claimed as British Empire territory and everyone accepts it as such

>>732856018
Charisma reduced to 1.
Nobody will hire you or even talk to you. Not even your own family.

>>732860922

BREXIT

>>732860922
Can't leave your house.

>>732855757
>>732855757
Yea but they don't want to talk to you. You're that one cunt in the owl community that talks and talks about nothing interesting, so everything ends in a taxing, dense, awkward silence before the next pointless words come out of your mouth. After a while the owls just turn their heads toward each other and blink slowly while shitting mice skulls.

>>732856018
Bad Luck xyourlevel

>>732856348
Dev auto ban

>>732855788


that would be so freekin awesome! imagine growing weed like that
2x

4x

8x

16x

32x

64x

128x

>>732856348
They're protected by Battleye.