ITT: We nerf each other's superpower >indestructible body

>>732847928
Mind of a 13 year old girl who just wants to cut herself

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>>732847928
Turn into this at midnight forever

>>732847928
>eternal vegatative state

>>732847928
Morbidly obese and cannot move by own strength

>>732847978
That's creative.

Aquakinesis [water bending]

>>732848068
>afraid of ocean and water bodies

>>732848068
Can only bend ~3.50 ml at one time

>>732848068
Hydrophobic

ability to grow my penis any size I want

>>732848235
Always flacid

>>732848235
It tries to kill you in subtle ways

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>>732847928
You die if someone touches you.

>All powerful master of the universe and immune to any and all nerfs that exist or could exist.

>>732848068
Only works with your own urine.
Must carry around piss bottles in case of emergency heroing.

The power to force a heart attack at any willing moment

>>732848294
That's dumb.
>my dad is stronger than your dad

>>732848328
But only on yourself

>>732848294
you are master of many alternate universes but not your own

>>732848328
You can be randomly affected too

>Immune to nerfs

>>732848294
All powerful master but so autistic that no one can stand to be around you

the power of bringing any anime caracter to real life.

>>732848448
Dead

>>732848448
only when you are sleeping

>>732848501
They stay 2D

>>732848448
We buff you. You grow to be 600 feet tall; your normal size heart can no longer pump blood throughout your body.

>>732848501
but they last only for a planck time(5,39121e-44 seconds)

>>732848501
They have normal human emotions, and therefore don't like you

Become my own personal genie

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>>732848633
>>732848615
>>732848566
worth it. not that bad

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Ability to talk my way into/out of any situation.

bulletproof

>>732848674
You can't grant wishes

>>732848741
Not knifeproof

>>732848736
You literally talk shit

>>732848674
No wishes 4 u

>>732848674
You need to live inside a fucking lamp

>>732848674
You're trapped inside a bottle and can't grant wishes until free.

>the ability to become a cute loli girl and cute-ify anything I touch

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>>732848741
guns are illegal

The power to make up to a 100 copies of yourself

ability to stop time

>>732848898
all your copies are retarded.

>>732848922
for 2 seconds

>>732848898
created embryos only

>>732848736
Only works on situations you wouldn't want to be in/out of

>>732848898
Each appear in a location 100 miles away.

>>732848922
only for yourself

>>732848868
But you hate all things cute.

>>732848868
The definition of cute changes to ugly after you gain your power.

>The ability to grow my dick to any size I wish

>>732848972
Wrrryyyyyy

>>732849056
You wish it to be 100 micrometers.

>>732848857
>>732848868
Eh living inside a lamp doesn't sound to bad , free house , no rent/debt. Sounds good from a different angle

>>732849056
it grows inside you

The ability to create any device out of any material that serves any purpose. Example: time machine out of glue, a goat, and some pubic hair.

>>732849056
All yout body fluids go to your dick and you die

The power to force a meme

>>732847928
>via being a someone's nasty fart.

>>732849157
none is working

>>732849169
Meme is only successful on ifunny

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>>732849157
You don't have hands

>gravity control

>>732849169
but the only meme you can force is the andy sixx log of shit

>>732849169
You will never be able to force milhouse to be a meme.

>The power to shit as much as I want anywhere I want.

>>732849224
only one pebble at a time

>>732849157
Whenever you create something you get put into a coma for 3 years

>>732849224
Once you decrease gravity it can't go back to normal

>>732849224
You can only control gravity for yourself and it only increases gravity without the ability to reverse it.

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>>732849246
Asshat.

>>732849224
But gravity as we know don't exist. The earth is flat and is moving up at a rate of 9,807 m/s2

>>732848068
>only when drowning.

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Power to can't die

The ability to complete any task in a day

>>732847928
cant move

>>732849377
locked forever in small, dark, cold place

>>732849377
you are already dead inside

>>732849377
Pain doesn't go away

>>732849417
no one cares

>>732849377
Gets killed over and over in stupid ways with no one but you remembering.

>Ability to negate other peoples powers.

>>732849377
You die if you have sex.

>>732849451
:(

The power of aids and the ability to die a slow, horrible death over the course of three years.

>>732849469
So he's immortal?

>>732849467
no one has powers

>>732849467
after they decease

>>732849467
Can only negate the nerfs placed upon others powers.

>>732849495
Death isn't painful and slow enough

>>732849495
There's a cure and you can't die.

>>732849495
you aren't a nigger

Ability to not be depressed

>>732848346
Your born a nigger and you dad left you forever.

>>732848294
>at the cost of she doesn't loving you back.

>>732849495
you die in 30 years of nonstop pain that won't allow you to lift a finger

>>732849495
Just before you die you find a reason to live

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>>732849495
You eat shit every day to make your death take longer.

>>732848448
When you say nerfs in the wish it only effects Nerf brand products, dart guns and such.

>>732849418
Fuck yeah

The power of don't take shower for a whole year

Having the worst superpower ever.

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>>732847928

>>732848615
>>732848732
Wanting that power, I'll assume Plank's time is gonna be more than enough time for you to cum.

>>732849706
Have to rub cat shit on yourself everyday or you die

>>732849735
Somehow gets even worse

>>732849706
after being jizzed by a 100 niggers

the power of being us president forever

I can shoot Kamehamehas
>inb4 it takes you a whole season to do so

>>732849417
Life span of 23 hours.

>>732849872
The government collapses as soon as you step into office

>>732849596
Only when reading Nietzsche.

>>732849889
only up your own ass

>>732849889
>inb4 it takes you a whole season to do it

No Anon, it takes you TWO seasons to do it! Hahahahahahaha

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>>732849748
source anon?

>>732849889
you're Krillin

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>>732849945
How?

>>732849989
>strongest human on Earth
Not bad

>>732850023
everyone else is Frieza

Ability to take away other peopled powers

>>732849889
Your Yamcha.

>>732849988
nyanpyoun it is a fake game screen shot

>>732850057
If I'm DBSuper Krillin, I could probably kick his ass.

>immediate counter measures

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I'm a hero for fun

>>732850113
everyone else is Golden Frieza

>>732849889
but it halves your penis each time.

>>732850164
Shit.

>>732850113
Also gets to fuck Android 18. They did not think that nerf through.

That's why your Yamcha.

>>732850212
I got to fuck Bulma + Puar is a shapeshifter

>>732848922
Can't restart time.

>>732848294
youre like that one faggot none of the kids liked playing with because youd make shit up like "automatic ultimate invincibility, also i have a super powerful attack where it kills in one hit." hows it feel to know you have the mind of an 8 year old?

>>732850093
You can only take them away by having sweaty anal sex with them.

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>>732850251
Until Vegeta planted a bean in the ground that killed you.

Then he Planted his dick in Bulma, knocked her up and is effectively married to a super wealthy super genius. While you presumably went back home to the desert to live a lonely life with your cat.

Also Vegeta's prepubescent son can whip your ass into the ground if he wanted.

Power to get any political position in the world. i.e. president of usa

Ability to kill Muslims by just thinking about it.

>>732850530
I'm a pro baseball player with half the world's population being adoring fans.
Vegeta is a balding manlet.

>>732850579
Yes.

Power to be The God Emperor of Mankind

Inb4 Horus Heresy
inb4 not Womenkind

>>732850579
It also affects jews

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I have the ability to use a physicists gizmos and gadgets and doo hickeys to determine and change a particle properties like it's spin and whatnot by observing it in the quantum realm.

>>732850623
*Godlet

>>732850650
You're still useless in a democracy
>figurehead

>>732850658
He said nerf, not buff

>>732850579
I like you.

>>732850579
Quick think about mecca

>>732850559
but you always start a nuke war that leads to the end of the world

>>732850704
That's the joke

>>732850579
Okay I'm calling it
You win the thread.

>>732847928
extra chromosome

If a dog is eating spaghetti, I have 4 pieces of garlic bread in my pocket to give to him

>>732848235
Body shrinks to actual size of your dick

>>732850876
He hates garlic and you forgot your pants with pockets

>>732850623
Who is extremely wealthy by marriage, could kick nearly anyone's ass, and is being trained by a God of Destruction.

>>732850948
I'm taller than him and have all of my hair.

>>732850579
each time one dies two new are born

>>732851057
Heil Hydra

I can exterminate specific bacteria, fungi and viruses from the earth

>>732849417
Its a venus day not an earth day

>>732851113
But only the beneficial ones.

>>732849056
Stays limp

Extreme regenerative powers
>think wolverine + piccolo/cell

>>732850704
No because without jews, monetary notes disappear, we are theb back to our shitty anglo Saxon and germanic barbaric tribal hunter gatherer lifestylesn because the money disappears, so does gasoline, and media ceases to exist, so nothing to do, so we are back to living in fucking tents and huts, wearing furs, and trading beads and corn for shit.

Oh and unlike our superior Caucasian bearded ancestors, who could kill bears and shit and wear their pelts. we've devolved into shitty whiny neckbeards, who could get raped by a frisky donkey if the donkey felt inclined to make one of us Its bitch.

Its not like us caucasians are fucked exclusively. Atleast we are turning the next generation of negroes into neckbeards as well, i saw a niglet on the bus reading fucking animu, this is becoming commonplace, they are losing touch with holy alpha testosterone as well. Same with hispanics. Fucking beans.

>>732849157
Extreme apathy

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>>732851307
Back to JIDF, Shylock

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>>732850579
Only if you become one yourself.

>Ability to transform into any cute anime girl

>>732851298
But your cancer spreads, making you kinda like dead pool, but super brain tumors make you into a stupid faggot.

You are now good for slapstick comedy relief, gj faggot

>>732851373
I'll off myself last

>>732851392
I don't have cancer

>>732851373
Can only be done in the presence of at least three creepy weebs who will immediately accost you.

>>732851298
But you are always on fire.

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>>732851508
>tfw he'd probably dig that

>>732851373
gets raped by a 1000 tentacles right after

I can control people's thoughts

>> 732847928 nice one

>>732851734
Can only make them think about how shitty a person you are.

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>>732851734

But only when raped by 6 niggers at once.

>>732851836
So I'm just regular me then

>>732851734
But your'e now gay

>>732851955
Meh women are shit tier people anyways

I'm the only person allowed to have sex with preteens

>>732852051
And all the preteens universally hate you and won't have sex with you.

>>732852133
I'm stronger than them :^)

I have a trillion ¥€$

Ability to have any vidya powerup IRL

ability to genderbend

>>732852407
You are mentally ill
>>732852384
Poison mushroom

>>732847928
u start off as a zygote and never develop, cuz thats change and change is destruction of the previous order

>>732852407

But only as a white supremacist.

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>>732852051
but all preteens in the universe look like this

>>732852465
Okay indestructible upon maturity

>>732852453
>You are mentally ill
you have to nerf my powers not describe my current state

>>732852519
Oh. Then you hate transgenders with a passion

>>732852503
u stay looking like a pubescent teen

>>732852384
While your powerup is active, someone else controls you with a controller.

>>732852407
You have to Scream ''WHITE MALE'' every 30 seconds or you loose your superpower.

>Can always get dubs

Ability to alter the probability of anything

>>732848040
beyond nerfing

>>732852701
It only works 1% of the time

>>732852685
but not on any chan

>>732852701
Only by such minute amounts that you aren't ever sure it's working at all.

I can cut anything

>>732852781
except your unibrows which never stops growing longer

>>732852781
it still hurts appropriately

>>732852407
But your sex remains identical.

Ability to never sitting down uncomfortably.

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>>732853071

...but still suffering from itchy hemorrhoids.

>>732853071
>No Legs
Have fun in your comfortable wheelchair

>>732853071
your legs atrophy

>>732853137
But that makes it uncomfortable.
>>732853158
I like this one, why would I ever want to walk if I'm always comfy.

>>732853071
You get debilitating back pain after a few years
>pain =/= discomfort

Ability to complete mundane tasks without losing time in the day.

>>732853203
going upstairs

Ability to grasp the concept/knowledge of a book, just by looking at the cover.

>>732853298
you have to waste hours of time on 4chan on a daily basis

>>732853398
Uhh...

>>732848294
But you're still a massive faggot.

>>732853395
Books go extinct and it doesn't work on kindles/tablets/pc/mobile

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>>732853398
>when that's already what you do during the day after work

Ability to do drugs without negative side effects.

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>>732853510
>when you work

>>732853395
So, a superpower most people think they have then?

>>732853561
Can only Overdose

>>732853562
But then how will I fund my silky smooth internet connection and shitpost all night if I don't work...

>>732853608
OD'ing technically a negative side effect...or nah?

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>>732853632
>Not getting paid for shitposting by the government.
fuggen casual

Ability to listen and understand what up to 10 people are talking to you about.

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Can revert sluts back into their virgin form

>>732853713
Doesn't remove their STDs.

>>732847928
All pain is multiplied by 5.

>>732853705
I can pretty much do this already.

>>732853695
I'm a freelance shitposter. I shitpost on my own time, and I ain't the government's bitch about it.

>>732847928
>a literal god

>>732853653
its not a side effect id say. you can OD on pretty much everything.
You can even OD on Sitting on a couch for 1 week without moving

>>732853835
So OD'ing is a negative side effect of sitting on the couch. Why isn't there a warning label for that shit?!?!!?!

>>732848736
You have no bones.

Ability to fart as loudly and stinky as you want in a crowded room, and always get away with it.

Able to change reality by willing it, enabling you to set up save states for yourself, time control, shape shifting, fun situations, whatever (allowed to start with a set of alterable conditions so you don't obliterate yourself by accidentally willing yourself to die out of passing curiosity or something)

The power to suddenly be in trouble with my girlfriend randomly at any moment and never know why.

>>732848736
You're a mute

Being able to orgasm at will

>>732854044
Your girlfriend is 2d and imaginary

>>732853963
Every time you do alter reality, your mind slightly deteriorates.

So try not to do it too much, or you'll end up bat shit insane creating a world where you make chimpanzees butt fuck elderly women for your entertainment.

>>732848898
Each one tries to kill the other

>>732854044
Your girlfriend tells your friends what the trouble is, but your friends will never tell you for whatever reason, causing your friendships to slowly dissolve.

>>732854063
>mute in 2017
We all type now

>>732853938
Everytime you do this the chance for acquiring ass cancer increases

>>732854082
That one's not so hard to work around, really. Set one of the starting conditions (or one of my first changes) as "I have a wish-granting pet/servant." Then most changes I wanna make I can do through the pet, and I only need to use my own altering ability if I really fuck something up via wishes. So all the power with an almost unnoticeable nerf.

This is assuming I can't simply alter my mind to be working better, compensating for or removing the nerf.

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>>732852498
whats the downside mane ?

>>732854063
Yet you'll orgasm instantly if someone that's not you, touches you.

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>>732848898
You'll never become hokage

>>732854208
Activating your power makes you permanently mentally retarded

>>732854044
So, the power to be a boyfriend? That's pretty common.

>>732848898
all of them are constantly talking about how the Vegan Lifestyle is Healthier

>>732854208
Well, when you start losing your mind, you don't even realize it so you might continue to altering away without noticing you're fucking crazy.

Or the first time your mind deteriorates might just be enough to make you crazy to do stupid wishes with your servant/pet that you're forced to use your altering reality ability again, thus pushing you further into insanity.

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Ability to turn invisible to women in a flash

>>732854283
Eyy, if one of the starting conditions is a save state/undo button, wouldn't that undo the retardation?

>>732854352
If you don't notice/know about the deterioration, yea, that'd do it.

Ability to always get the perfect amount of sleep.

>>732849495
you have to watch the other kids play basketball all day while you cant leave your hospital room

>>732854432
You can only sleep when there's a pretty girl lying beside you

>>732854162
Kek

>>732854432
waste the rest of the day on /Po/

>>732854331
Now that's terrifying

>>732848922
For only 15 second periods at a time, after that you must wait a minute for it to recharge.

>>732854405
Ha ! I already have that power.

>>732854422
Fine you forgot to save.

>>732854505
Isn't beauty based on personal preference?

Ability to be clean without having to bathe/shower.

>>732854725
Yeah it's party cultural. But there are objective measurements for beauty, like the Golden Ratio and symmetry.

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>>732854725
He was a beautyful girl for me.
enjoy Harambro in bed.

>>732854656
I can't sleep even with a girl next to me

>The ability to turn into a girl

>>732854862
Hmm, so more like you can only get a good night's sleep when a girl that's beautiful by SOCIETY'S standards is in bed with you?

Yeah, that's gonna be tough for a acid-dropping, computer nerd, gamer like me.

>>732854923
You turn into a pregnant girl, and can't change back until you give birth.

>>732854964
and it's from a nigger

>>732854939
>>732854725
Found the ugly fuck

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Ability to read people's minds

>>732848294
You remind me of when 2 of my friends used to play Rock-Paper-Scissors back in Primary. It'd go from Dynamite beating rock, to a bunker, to a nuclear bomb to "Invincible Tap Dancer."

>>732855027
Found the virgin.

>>732854939
No your personal standard you buffoon. Now what would that be, a fat druggie chick?

>>732855062
Its all in Eskimo language

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Unlimited ammo and a gun closet that summons any gun I want legally.

>>732855124
They all jam upon firing every time.

>>732855124
You never get an opportunity to shoot somebody

>>732855124
The gun always jams after the 2nd round
>even single shot guns
>even muskets
>even bolt action

>>732855124
But they only fire when aimed at yourself.

>>732855100
I guess my personal preference for a girl is someone I could relax around.

I mean, I'm 30, I work long hours at my job, haven't had sex in months, sitting at home on computer after dropping a tab is the only way I could relax, so if I could just find a woman that I could relax with, that'd be great.

Ability to conjure pens out of nothingness.

>>732855214
I wish i could find acid

>>732855228
But they're always inkless

>>732855228
Every piece of paper you touch is wet/tears too easily

>>732855150
>>732855190
God damn consider myself nerfed.
>>732855158
I'm fine with that.
>>732855193
What's the downside?

>>732855214
Maybe you should cut down on the hours and indulge in some hobbies that require you to go outside.

>>732855228
The inability to make them work when signing for something.

can control the will of animals weighing less than 5 lbs

>>732855288
U die

>>732855334
You're an ant

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>>732855344
>death
>downside

Ability to shapeshift into animals

>>732855245
Not that hard to find acid. I met a guy at a bar, just by talking to people and slowly bringing up LSD.

>>732855293
Ehh...used to be on an adult rugby team but I like focusing on work to do any other hobbies.

>>732855377
Ikr
>>732855379
But only insects

>>732855334
Your penis decreases in size every time you do it

>>732855379
Can only shapeshift into animals that are in a slaughterhouse.

>>732855344
>see guy i hate
>summon Deagle brand Deagle
>aim at webbing of my fingers
>spioiler alert, his head is behind my webbing too
>gun fires
>but jams
>hand blown off
>guy is alive
>fuck that guy

>>732855420
Fuck :(

>>732855413
Hmmmmmm....how small can it ultimately get?
Like microscopic dick?

>>732855482
It becomes vagina

You can turn anything you want into a bomb

>>732855482
It turns into a single atom

>>732855503
They're all duds.

>>732855420
>shapeshift into the man killing the animals
Checkmate atheists

>>732855482
It will turn inside out once you pass 0. But it won't look like a real vag, more like a post-op botched tranny vag

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>>732855468
>>732855468
>>732855468

PART 2

>>732855502
I think being a cuntboy while commandin an army of kittens and crabs to do my bidding is worth it.

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>>732855503
But they're all actually clocks.

>>732855503
Interpol will magically know of every bomb you make