Fuckin bored so ask an Australian anything!

>>732833687
how do you play sports when all throwable objects are automatically boomerangs?

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What's it like being the number 2 shitposters on 4chan?

what have you had to eat today?

>>732833687
Do toilets flush backwards down under?

>>732833687
do you know remy

do you ever wake up fall onto the ceiling because you forgot to put on your ground harness before unhooking yourself from your bed harness?

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>>732833855
Good Question: we like to think we're playing a game of footy but nah yeah the ball just fucks off

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>>732833687
Why?

>>732833687
What do you think about the autist that is our short-lived president, Donald Trump?

How long after a jar vegemite expires, does it actually go bad?

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>>732833894
We don't even try to shitpost so if we gave a fuckin thought to it we would sink /pol/ with our shit

>>732833687
Do all of you people look like the rednecks from mad Max road warrior?

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>>732833907
Some Vegemite for breakie
and bunnings sauage for lunch

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>>732834069
The artist?

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>>732834114
yeah nah good one anon :')

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why is this a thing

>>732834453
no not the artist so you dont know him we are done here

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>>732834156
dunno m8

>>732834152
>says footy
>posts broncos
Fuck you guy

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>>732834300
whata funny cunt

Like i thought the humour would be over after 2 weeks of office but that cunt is a living joke

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>>732834313
quite long i reckon
its a best before date so that jar can last for however long you want it too

>>732833687
Which town?

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>>732834721
You think its bad in australia, imagine how worse it is living in the actual country that voted for him

>>732834710
this
fuck off with your throwing the ball bullshit, real sports involve kicking it, hitting it from one hand with your other hand, or occasionally trying to bounce it and fucking it up

>>732834804
Thanks mate!

>>732834855
If a.f.l were a real sport they would have a world cup

do you listen to iggy azalea?

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>>732834399
some do i reckon

Fuckin mullets and flannies are the mad max of this part of the world

>>732834313
got a jar with my name on it for a prezzy last year, exp. Sep 2017 so like a year.

>>732833687
How bad is the crime in your country?

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>>732834539
absolute fuckin stupid idea
i would deck the cunt if someone had me eat that

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>>732834710
>Post Broncos
hahaha Broncos nothing made me laugh more than hunt droppin that ball

Fuck Queensland :)

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>>732834740
fuck New Zealand
Where there's fuckin Cricket World cup?

>>732834937
they do, it's played at the MCG every year

its not our fault the other countries are shithouse at it

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>>732834843
2620

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>>732834848
Yeah yeah up shit creek aye hahaha

>>732835268
I fuckin know right, in breeding redneck filth

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>>732834855
Melbourian aye
How good is it having a Victorian NRL team with no victorian players?

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>>732834973
nope :)

>>732835765
Kek

>>732835765
bad guess, perthfag. cannot answer your question.

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>>732835071
no bad
odd assault is in the newspapers but other than that we're pretty fuckin alrite

If someone gets shot its a fuckin big deal

Why are there so many pedos in Australia? They should call it the land of degenerates.

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>>732835532
or maybe no one wants to play such a fuckin shit sport

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>>732835746
oath

>>732835071
Not Ausfag here, but studied up before visiting.

Before about 20 years ago, Australia's gun laws were similar to the US - maybe a little more restrictive, but not that much. It was pretty easy for everyone to own shotguns, rifles, pistols, etc.

Then a guy went nuts, took a big bag of guns, and shot up a beach town. They caught him pretty quick and put him in jail for a long time.

And then the government said, "Right, that's it. Turn in your guns."

AND PEOPLE DID.

>>732834539
Aus fag here, i thought it was a bloody good meal

>>732836024
we mostly export them to italy and the UK for that reason

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>>732836024
ikr fuckin hell wish AFP wasn't so good at catchin them otherwise we wouldn't think there was so many

>>732836201
this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_Arthur_massacre_(Australia)
then
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_buyback_program

mostly worked.

>>732837045
and this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_laws_in_Australia

>is on /b/
>AMA

>>732835765
No cunt in Victoria gives a shit about rugby

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>>732837775
Oi but yeah nah lets still have NRL team with no players from that state

>>732837973
see: AFL starting teams in queensland

nobody in queensland gives a shit, almost nobody from queensland plays. AFL just wants to increase the market if it can.

>>732836208
Me too. Good mix of salty and sweet.

Is it true you need a mortgage for avocado toast

>>732838169
Id watch the a-league before i watched that afl bullshit

>>732838247
Yes

>>732833687
How did the Aussies get so good with the bantz?

>>732838422
Weve had centuries of practice takin the piss out of abbos

>>732838422
coz their all full of shit

>>732838268
>self excluding based on poor taste

thanks anon, makes life easier for people who enjoy sport

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>>732838169
>Queensland AFL has almost nobody

the entire fuckin team of melbourne storms is not even from there. It's a fucking joke haha

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How much Marmite and or Vegemite do you eat and how often do you consume this treat. Tell us how you like to eat it. Please tell us why you enjoy it?

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>>732838247
yeah :)

>>732838661
Vegemite once a week, plenty of butter and a thick layer of vegemite on toast, for breakfast

>>732838247
it's worth it anon. trust me.

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>>732838422
Dunno practicing on kiwis is fun

Not much of a question but want a redpill on the abbos

>>732834406
1.fosters is shit
2.bunnings doesn't do the sausage sizzles anymore
3.when I think about it, who the fuck just eats some Vegemite for anything?

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>>732838661
For breakie m8 you melt vegemite with fuckin butter on toast and its fuckin bliss

Do you come from a land down under?

>>732833687
How can a country so small be so empty? Also what's Australia's main industry?

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>>732838755
Only once a week? Tell us your Aussie ways m8.

>>732833687
Do Aussies see more kinship with the Brits or Americans?

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>>732838842
I can't be fucked go to /pol/

>>732839028
I've only had it straight up and on toast without butter. What's the butter to bread to tostiness to vermite ratio here?

how are the bunnings snags mate

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>>732838944
> Fosters is shit
yeah
>bunnings doesn't do the sausage sizzles anymore
What the fuck you on about i had one last week m8
>when I think about it, who the fuck just eats some Vegemite for anything?
wot

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>>732839036
naaah yeah

>>732839051
australias main industry is the wiggles, we started with 4 but now they're 30% of the economy

>>732839153
depends if you watched more ABC or commercial TV growing up

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>>732839051
you mean be large but so empty?
80% of Australia is fuckin inhabitable cause its fuckin desert

Its mostly services but we do export live animals
ahh we have some factories that do shit but are outmatched by china

Do you own a dog, cat, kangaroo or koala as a pet?

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>>732839643
You are still our sheep producers. Don't forget your English overlords.

>>732836201
Still pretty easy to own a gun here.

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>>732839233
about a fingernail size or bit more of vegemite and just spread the butter on the toast and its gold m8

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How do my fellow ausfags deal with the shit internet, pic related

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>>732839361
greatest feed on a sundie afternoon

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>>732839830
fuck off you poofta cunt

Where's your cricket world cup?

>>732839051
Small? We are nearly as big as the US mainland.

>>732833687
How do you go about getting a gun in that country?
I hear it's illegal or something but then there's also like 3 million of them in private hands.
Super confusing.

>>732834539
nooo and i thought it couldnt get any worse than heresy's

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>>732839853
No idea what you're talking about

>>732839361
Bliss

>>732840204
It'd be easier getting an assault rifle in America than it would be to get an airsoft pistol in Australia, that's our fucked gun laws in a nutshell..

>>732840204
Automatic weapons are illegal (as they should be). You can very easily get bolt action hunting rifles in any state as long as you ha e proven access to a farm or other legal hunting ground.

>>732840650
That's not really that crazy assuming the airsoft pistol thing is hyperbole.
Concealable weapons should be more controlled than more deadly but impossible to hide weapons.

>>732839809
Nah cunt. Koalas have chlamydia and Roos are only good for eating

>>732833687
>>>/x/19018829

>>732839809
Nope. Koalas have chlamydia and Roos are only good for eating.

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OP's gonna head out

bye Cunts

>>732841076
>>732840958
Not true.
I had a pet roo and he was as affectionate as a dog

>>732833687
How the fuck are ya mate?

>>732836201

Yes the '1996 Port Arthur Massacre'. That was the single event that disarmed this country and criminals have been having a party ever since.

>>732841076
My girlfriend has chlamydia AND is good for eating

>>732833687
What kind of durries and grog do you grab from the bottle-o, and what is best from maccas, cunt?

>>732840650
It's not hard at all if you're not a criminal.

>>732841173
Until they stranglehold you cat and kick your dogs guts out. And they do taste pretty good.

>>732835268
>Fuck Queensland :)
>Another Queensland team won...

What are the women like ?

>>732839051

We used to be a major exporter of Wool, beef, other agriculture and a leader in Medical Science if I recall.

We have a government R and D division called the CSIRO that the federal government stopped giving a shit about almost a decade ago.

We have no auto manufacturing, no defense manufacturing and barely an real industry. If you consider mining an industry.

>>732836099
Like to see you try, softcock.

The only thing I want to know abut guns in Australia is: Can I still have my 7 shot .357 magnum wheelgun?

>>732833687
Is New Zealand part of Australia? You all sound the same and hang out together.

>>732841395
They invented plastic money.

>>732833687
Are the memes about australian internet service true? are ISPs so shit over there? Avg Bandwidth and any monthly limit?

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>>732839853
Yeah, nah cunt.

>>732841395
>consider mining an industry
138 billion per annum cunt.

>>732841459
If you can prove you need it. Not easy at all but possible. Usually farmers in big properties and pest eradication, and I mean big pests like camels, buffalo and crocodiles.

>>732841135
G'night, mate

>>732841459
>>732841837
Might be wrong. But i think you could get it on a club license. Would need to keep it at the club in a safe though.

>>732841358
Ijust shoot the cunts and leave them in ghe paddock
Meats not that good

>>732842047
How the fuck am I gonna blow off an abbos head if I catch him sniffing petrol out of my truck if my gun is in a fucking locker? Do they expect me to wait three hours from a cop from Perth or use a crossbow some shit

>>732842047
This is true. I can't take mine off club premises
And I have 3500acres of land
Don't need anything bigger than a 222 so why would they let you keep a concealed weapon

>>732842079
Its fucking delicious you shit cunt.

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>>732833687
This is a knife.

>>732833687
You like Chris Lilley's shows?

They're the only Australian shows I've seen. I also watch footy, my 3rd year as a North supporter. (I know they're shit but I'm sticking with them)

>>732842229
Like this
http://treatyrepublic.net/content/britain-worlds-worst-mass-murderer
The unspeakable savagery the British and their Anglo-Celtic Australian spawn unleashed upon Aboriginal Australia included the 'sport' of burying Aboriginal babies and children up to their necks and then kicking the heads until decapitation. Up until 1970s ( in the outback 1980s) Anglo Australian motorists could intentionally run down 'Blacks' drunk or sober with impunity.

>>732842229
Just bash the black cunt. The high most of the time and inbred to hell. Its not hard. Keep a bat by the front door or your bed.

>>732842285
It's mutton tier at best.
You can prepare it good and it'll taste alright but you might as well do the same shit to a better meat.

>>732842285
It really isn't
The only part worth keeping is the tail for soup

>>732842462
In 1950s British conducted nuclear tests at Maralinga, South Australia
poisoning Indigenous people and land

The scrubs are gone

>>732842456
We can be heros was good. Summer hights high wasnt as good and the spin offs suck ass

>>732833687
After watching only British and Australian movies and TV shows since I was a child, I'm always much more comfortable around people with those accents.
I went to the public pool, and this guy who looked about forty looked White, so I said "ew" to myself and carried on. And then I heard him speak in a British accent, and I instantly felt not grossed out towards him whatsoever.
Also, I think everybody who isn't from Saudi Arabia or America tends to be in better shape.
Anyhow, why are your accents so goddamn relaxing?

>>732842876
I know, there scrubs were referring to small bushes, but taken out of context like it just looks like "Oy, we nuked them in the 50s, now the fuckin scrubs are dead!"

>>732842047
You just have to list a property you can shoot at. Thousands of them around. Not that hard.

>>732839853
Yep. NBN will be slightly better but still not even on the map

>>732840204
Get a gun license. Which to do i think you just have to be part of a club/have a legitimate reason for owning a gun (farming /rural etc). Its not that hard.

>>732835428
Looks like they're making a jumper

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meet me at Bankstown in 2 hours

>>732836201
That is a popular misconception, but over simplified to the point of bullshit. We still have our guns. Restrictions were placed on certain types of weapons ie pump action shotguns and semi-auto rifles for the general public but they are still avaliable to people who can prove they have a genuine reason to use one (Pro Roo Shooter etc). Most hunters/sporting shooters get by with bolt action rifles, lever action rifles and double barrel shotguns. And people didn't just "hand in their guns" they were bought back buy the government for cash.

6164 clocking in

>>732846093
6016 here
what's up m8

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>>732842339
That's not a knife that's a spoon.

>>732845263
>bolt action rifles, lever action rifles and double barrel shotguns.

Is Australia the old west?
I mean shit, It's mostly white, you have leverguns and scatterguns, hostile desert environments, ranches, and cool accents. Next you're going to tell me that boots and wide brimmed hats are still in daily use.

>>732847895

In the country they are.

>>732833687
What is the shittiest state and why is it Queensland?

>>732847941
Because it's full of Queenslanders.

>>732833687
How do ausfags not get constantly sunburned from being pale as fuck Anglo-Celtic and basically living on the planet Mercury?

>>732836099

this

>>732848009
Anglo-Celtic Aussies look like they are 60 by the time they are 30

>>732847939
Holy shit, what's Australia's immigration policy? Can I come if I'm a skilled worker? What kind of workers do you need?

>>732835537
queanbeyan is a shit hole

>>732834855
>implying sports requires balls

>>732833687
What is Melbourne like?

>>732848108
if you're a whitey, speak english, have useful skills and are willing to work in the country? fuck, you're basically in the door already

>>732848236
LOL
Is this why all imigrants are Indians and Chinamen

>>732848228
God tier like Sydney
Unfortunately you have to deal with the unemployed hicks in Queensland who are always asking for money

>>732848494
don't know about you but 80% of the people around here are poms or south african

>>732848787
What the fuck? Where do you live?
Literally over 90% of immigrants come from Asia

>>732833687
Is Aussie slang really dying out in your country or is it still a thing?

>>732848848
perth.
don't get me wrong, plenty of indians and asians around. but the poms/kiwis/southafricans outnumber them by a fair bit.

>>732849085
Nope. You must never leave your house
Far more Indians and Chinamen than South Africans in Australia and most New Zealand immigrants aren't white anyway

>>732848236
I don't really have many useful skills other than fixing computers and some of the machining stuff that my dad taught me (basic metal and woodworking). I'm going to go to college, though. Thing is, I learn better with my hands, and I learn fast.

>>732848848
Can vouch for this, I live in Sydney and I'm often one of the only white people on any bus I get on.

>>732849315
You'll be fine, English as a first language helps immensely and people here are much more welcoming when that's the case
>>732848236
is spot on.

>>732847895
I never thought of it that way, but rural Australia is pretty much exactly like that.

>>732833687
How does it feel to be a fucktard?

>>732850080
Last question. I was born in Texas and even though I grew up in Mississippi I still have a lot of Texan traits. Will people look at me weird if I greet them with "Howdy!"?

>>732850309
yeah but you can look at them weird when they say 'howzitgarn cunt'

>>732850309
Nah, most of us don't mind Americans honestly. As long as you don't take yourself (or anything really) too seriously and can have a bit of a laugh about most things, you'll fit in just fine here.

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Is this the best you can do music wise?

>>732833687
When did you discover you liked to suck dick?

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>>732850498
Give these cunts a listen

>>732850428
>>732850483
Works for me
Guess I gotta get a passport and add mate and cunt to my lexicon.

I don't reckon a man who greets strangers with howdy takes himself too awful seriously. As long as drop-bears don't steal my ten-gallon-hat I think I'll be ok.

>>732833687
I'm sorry that you're Australian.

>>732839051
Small?, we have a large land mass, with a small population.

how does it feel to know that you're a country full of convicts?

also your people don't have the balls to stamp out the rampant inbreeding that keeps occurring generation after generation on their doorstep.

i'd rather be found dead in USA than alive in shithole australia

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>>732839051
>country so small

>>732839643
>>732840127
>>732850790
you guys have a real complex about size hey

>>732850944
All that space... so little people...

>>732833687
I arrived at customs in Australia and they asked me if I had a criminal record. Didn't know that was still a requirement for entry!

I dated an Aussie girl once. Worst experience ever. She had the smelliest vagina ever. I told her that it stank too and she had no clue about cleaning herself. She had a couple of Aussie mates who were the loudest, most fucking annoying sub human beings I've ever met. I rate Australians 0.5/10

>>732840756
>Automatic weapons are banned as they should be.

What?, you some sort of city dweller?
Just because you can't be trusted with and don't like certain tools doesn't mean the rest of us should not have access because of your opinion.

Tasmania had legal machine gun, yes machine gun ownership up until the 1993 I think it was and I never heard of anyone using them to kill anyone.

Also fuck heads like Martin Bryant are CRIMINALS, you want to take away all legal opiates and cars because some people do the wrong thing?

Authoritarians really anger me.

>>732835268
Qlder smashed you cunts year in year out mudddaafukkkaa

>>732851007
get your own jokes

>>732833687
USA + mostly all countries in europe

this is my list of countries worth living in

besides those, everywhere is a shithole (and yes, that includes australia)

>>732851034
>Tasmania had legal machine gun, yes machine gun ownership up until the 1993 I think it was and I never heard of anyone using them to kill anyone.
my sides

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>>732850996

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>>732833687
smash or pass

>>732850498
10/10

I hate Australia... and Australians.

You are all cunts

>>732851177
Clearly not Australian. I'll smash.

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>>732851273

>>732851214
i second that--i live in sydney, its an absolute shithole

oh, how i envy the new yorkers

>>732851177
smash the fuck out of

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>>732851311
>Lives in Sydney
>Thinks that hes in Australia

Does anyone notice how loud Australians overseas are? Why do they always seem to be shouting?

>>732851382
Where do you live shit face? Some honky ass Abo town?

>>732851406
it's so you can understand us anon, we're helping

>>732838944
>2.bunnings doesn't do the sausage sizzles anymore
Eh? That's just wrong anon.
1: Bunnings never did Sausage Sizzles, they allowed local organisations to do them.
2: They still do
>3.when I think about it, who the fuck just eats some Vegemite for anything?
Me, eat Vegemite on toast on the reg

Come to bathurst ya pussy cunt

>>732834539
Actually inside knowledge everyone ar cabruray thought shit ceo did it cause profit would be made either way

>>732851382
there is an up and coming book called the 'ATLAS'

i really recommend it--its definitely worth a read

>>732838944
Fuck where do you live True Fosters is shit but it is not sold or made in Austalia anymore 2 When was the last time you went to Bunnings They have Sausage sizzles every weekend down here 3 If you don't like vegemite you're doing it wrong! (Hugh jackman shows jimmy Fallon how to eat vegemite) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_sUhTWtvG4

>>732851468
Gold Coast

>>732839153
In terms on comedy and sense of humour, definitely Brits for me, not that I don't find US humour hilarious, they just don't understand mine/ours like the Poms do.
In terms of lifestyle, definitely the US, at least for myself.

>>732851579
Say no more.

>>732851551
nty

>>732851311
>i second that--i live in sydney, its an absolute shithole
I third that but don't kid yourself, Sydney is a shithole in spite of Australia, not because of it.

>>732851579
a yes would suffice mate

Australian checking in

i would kill to move out of this desert

it has been run rampant by indians and asians

i think there are more whites in south africa than in modern day Australia

if i could choose my country, i'd rather live in Belgium, Norway or the top cities in USA

>>732851760
I seldom see the swines

>>732851896
>cities
There's your problem

>>732851528
Grew up there, got out, thank fuck

>>732851896
american here

stay where you are convict--we don't want your kind here

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>>732833687
Would you give a Castlemaine xxxx for anything else?

>>732851034
KYS retard
No Australians give a shit about guns apart from the imbred hicks who live in the country

>>732836201
Port Arthur was the largest single person massacre (35 killed) up until Anders whatsisname in Norway anywhere

>>732851579
So you are unemployed then

>>732833687
Why are you all fucking shit?

Love from New Zealand.

>>732833687
Why do you handsome devils have such large cocks?

>>732852166
Better than fucking sheep

>>732852166
Love you too cuz, I'll see you when I retire to kiwiland.

>>732852017
lol

so are you assuming that americans aren't immigrants

as long as you aren't native american (red indian)
you don't belong there chief

>>732852080
According to your good self.

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>>732833687
please kill yourself and the other 22,999,999 retarded usless pieces of shit aussies with you

>>732852231
kys retard

by that logic--indians and chinks have as much right in australia as you do

hypocrisy thy name is anon

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>>732852324
>still salty

>>732852359
They do, in the most literal sense

>>732852324
Cunt. Come over here and say that.

>>732833687
do you watch the big lez show?

>>732833687
In the words of our master Moot

"I hate Australians so god damn much"

>>732850962
Only with fags who can't read a map USA is only larger than Australia because..... Alaska it's that close

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>>732833687
How do you celebrate your lord and savior Gen. Douglas MacArthur?

>>732852434
no they don't you faggot

if you are brown stay in india or the middle east or wherever the fuck shithole

if you a convict go to australia

if you pure white go to USA or europe

if you are black fuck off to africa

>>732851013
Welcome to Bogans

>>732852324
Actually it would be 24,641,661... Found this out with one of the easiest Google searches I have ever done.

>>732852610
Why are there KKK members in the back?

>>732833687
Another Aussie here, not from any of your pooftah cities, town im from only has a population of 309 people, so everyone gets sloppy seconds around here, still better than getting overrun with chinks and wogs

>>732852671
Can't expect much better from what I am guessing is an American.

>>732852717
Shit guess mate

>>732833687
Aussie as well. Living in cairns. Got to enjoy it as they detonated a bomb that was dumped in road works today.

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>>732852695
on the lookout for abodiginals

>>732852610
We fucken don't he was a shithead

>>732852080
this

>>732852623
this

please stay where you were born

Hallelujah i was born IN THE STATES!!!!!

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>>732833687
Do you fap to MILF Essie?

>>732852811
Abos are literally the most fucking disgusting race on earth, ugly motherfuckers

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Is Paul hogan Like god down there?

>>732842462
ive read some bollox in my time but ..............

>>732833687
NUKE AUSSIES!!

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>>732852971

Another ausfag here.
Paul Hogan is well outdone by this team.

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>>732840086
ya wanker, where's your Rugby World Cup?

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>>732852080
Excellent. Atrophy of the martial spirit will come in handy when it is time to annex the land your are currently occupying.

>>732853062
IF YOU WANT TO NUKE AUSTRALIA, REPLY TO THIS COMMENT BY SAYING "AYE, AYE CAPTAIN"

>>732842462
You still can legally anywhere north of Townsville

>>732853135
aye aye captain

>>732853135
fuck off cunt

>>732833687
Why can't australians win a fight against some birds?

>>732853213
You can anywhere. It is advised that if you see one on the road in the middle of nowhere to not stop if you hit them.

>>732833687
Aussie checking in... I live in Mendooran and I fucking love it. Towns population is that half of a schools but it's mad

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AYE AYE CAP'N

>>732853349
Not that you ever do given that they're as urbanised as the rest of the Australian population.

>>732853335
Killing birds makes for a shit story, losing to them went down in history

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>>732853135
Aye Aye Kaptin ]

>>732833687
does kangaroo pussy feel better than human?

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>>732853135
aye AYE captino

>>732853073

>tfw there is no youtube of ripping undies

MOTHER FUCKER

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>>732853501

>>732850866
We all would. Prefer you were found dead in USA that is.

>>732853135
aye aye aye aye MASTER OF THE BOAT

>>732853501
>imblying one can catch a Kangaroo

>>732853135
affirmative captin

(i have to get creative, they dont allow duplicate replies__)

>>732834539
This was great chocolate but the vegimite was sweetened not thick and rich like out if the jar

>>732853430
Actually I have spent more of my life living on farms then I have in towns.

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>>732853135
yes captain yes yes

i wants it too

aye aye

>>732853717
What's that got to do with anything?