/b/ros I'm constipated. Advice?

Inb4 shave your ass

stick your finger up your ass.

>>732818755
Noooo. It's poopy in there gross.

>>732818658

do what the accountants to when their calculator breaks: work it out with a pencil.

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>>732818849
I've been in here for 30 minutes. I can't make it go in or come out, here's what I have access to.

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>>732818658
wtf is that

>>732819132
My butthole with my issue stuck in it.

Man up and dig it out with your hand

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>>732819187
wtf is wrong with your ass bro jesus christ it looks like a cyst that's popping

>>732819331
I don't know that's honestly the first time I've ever seen it. I'm a little concerned tbh.

>>732819126

Stop shooting smack, first of all. That would seriously help with your constipation issue.

>>732819411

stop taking opiods, they cause constipation and make your asshole disgusting like that

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>>732818831

Constipation is the least of your worries, im seeing ass cancer, a fucking toilet that needs to be cleaned, and yes, shave your fucking ass.

eat shredded wheat n bran for 3 days

If you can get it that close to coming out scoop out the rest with a spoon or something.

>>732819582
>>732819520
Yeah it's opioid induced constipation. I appreciate your concern but I don't think I could tolerate this pain without some dope in me.

>>732819611
Do you really think I could have some sort of ass cancer? And I don't care to shave my ass tbh. This is the first time I've seen it and I don't think anyone, aside from people in this thread, will be seeing it.

>>732819126
Stop doing drugs faggot. also just fucking push that shit out of your asshole, its a muscle and its made to stretch, yes it'll bleed and yes it'll hurt but stop being a fucking pussy.

I hate shit and nasty assholes but something about that picture makes me just want to stick something in there and get it out.

>>732818658
fucking opiod crackhead
you been doin too much dope and not taking stool softners cause you are likely broke as fuck
>>732819126
this pic proves it

you should go to a community hospital and get a manual extraction, legit you have a medical condition called impaction, you literally can rip your butthole and never recover if you dont go to the hospital, this is from your addiction, not even trolling

>>732818658
let it rest. it will find a way out eventually.

>>732819871
If I had the right angle I would lol.

>>732819856
Oh trust me I'm pushing lmao. I'm finally crowning, I think it's gonna come out.

>>732819940
This anon is def not trolling - either you work it out yourself, and you need to get it manually removed from nurses.

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put a lighter to your asshole and melt it, and then it'll slide right out

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>>732819940
You're so right. If only I could make it to the 20th when I get paid.

>>732818658
Get some tweezers and hope for the best dopehead. If it wont come out, just light up again, and you'll forget real quick

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PUUUUUUSH!

>>732820028
I don't want to go to the hospital for poop. Do you know how embarrassing that would be?

>>732819856
it is one of THE MOST IMPORTANT MUSCLES IN YOUR BODY, and completely under appreciated, tearing that muscle means causes permanant damage, literally, you might lose control of your butthole forever. That means incontence, thats right nigger-- diapers for life. Never going on a date again, never going to a pool party, and unless she is into scat play, you aint never getting laid again

do not go digging in your butt! GO TO THE FUCKING ER, YOU ARE HAVING A REAL AND LEGIT MEDICAL EMERGENCY

Fecal impaction, google it, it happens to horses and shit. They can get the poop out of your ass without tearing your butthole, and since you are an opioid addict, they likely arent going to give you any pain meds, so you can enjoy getting probed by some underpaid nurse for at least an hour.

better than the alternative though

>>732819850

Try injecting the heroin directly into the shit that's stuck in your bunghole.

Despite what idiotic modern science might say, feces is sentient. So, if you do it correctly and inject enough, this will get the compacted turd really high. Then it will get so fucked up that it will release its death grip on your rectal walls and slide right out of your hairy, disgusting asshole.

Easy peezy! Give it a SHOT. :)

>>732820145
I only do them twice a day. My method is just not to waste my pills orally.

>>732820213
Not to suggest something dangerous but have you tried taking just a couple of laxatives possibly a home enima?

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>>732820213
I know a dude who went to hospital for things in his ass way worse than poop.

If you can hold it in for a while and be patient, an enema may work. Also try some lube if applicable.

>>732820339
No I have not, this was a spur of the moment shit. I didn't think I'd be here for an hour.

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>>732818658
Have one of these laying around?

>>732818658
Push

>>732820213
about as embarassing as being addicted to opiates

you obviously arent much of a thinker are u?

Didnt you know how sexy opiates are? You get to go get fingered now!

that is why most opiate heads end up turning fags and loving getting buttfucked, certainly makes for a nice revenue stream to go buy more dope with

>>732820440
Maybe an enima might be okay, itll wash it out instead of you have to push a huge terd out of your ass

>>732820213
Think of how embarrassing it would be to be rushed to the hospital for anal fissure because "was scared to go for poop problem"

Okay everyone. I think it's all out now. The first one in original pic got out of the way and the flow is going slowly but a lot better. I don't think there's any tearing, no sign of blood. But feels like I got a few more rocks to pass and I'll be good.

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>>732819126

well there's your problem right there. heroin

>>732820626
I drink excessively and bleed regularly, what's that about? That bad? (out of my ass)

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>>732820450
Holy shit Laughing so hard
This whole thread lmao

You're a disgusting pile of human waste.

That aside, drink as much pickle juice as you can. You'll shit your junkie brains out.

>>732819331

heroin addict. look at the cook kit.

>>732819126

heroin and other opioids make you not shit. OP needs to stop taking heroin and start drinking shittons of coffee and budweiser and taco bell.

>>732818658
Go see a doctor

>>732820485
You really have a problem with opiates. Was your dad a junkie who was never around or anything? I'm a functioning member of society, i have my own company, and have chronic pain. I just shoot my pain pills rather than take them orally. The bioavailability is 100% vs 30%.

>>732820485
This is correct.

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>>732819331

this is one of the first pictures on the internet. true story. this one goes back to early 90's.

>>732820275
This

>>732820777
Trips ô truth. Get that shit checked. Ass bleeding isn't normal

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>>732820089
You think your cool...Here's what I make weekly. Eat shit faggot

I appreciate all the help though guys, thanks for going through this with me. All you fuckers who think I'd put something in my body I got from some Mexican down the road can go fuck yourselves though.

>>732820089
Tulsa, OKC, or Phoenix. Hmmmmmm.....

>>732818658
get an oral syringe, a bottle of heated up mineral oil and inject that pucker hole, sit on a heating pad and pinch the booty hole shut till it squirms out.

>>732820944
lol that's cute. This is what I have left from my last paycheck. If you want to measure dicks we can, but you're going to be disappointed.

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>>732818658
try this

>>732818658
Let the turd retract into your anus. Go to a pharmacy and buy some Dulcalax pills. Take two of them and drink 2 pints of water. Also buy some mineral oil and an anal applicator and squirt some up your sphincter for lube so you don't get a fissure. Try waiting a few hours before taking a shit if you can.

>>732820988
No problem bro.
Take care of that.

>>732821093
Sure post proof faggot anyone can talk shit.

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>>732821110
Ayyyy

>>732821133
Thanks, I'll go to the doctor tomorrow and have it checked out. I'm sure it's just opiate induced constipation.

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When it comes it will be like this.

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>>732821126
>>732821049
/Thread/

>>732820848
see
>>732821110

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>>732821170
This is as far back as my statement goes. I honestly don't care what you make or what you think. I just don't want you assuming I'm some broke ass food stamp welfare heroin junkie.

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>>732821254
Dumbass follow these directions >>732821126

>>732821489
I shall. Thanks again guys.

Take dulcolax enema and and manually put ur finger inside in circular motion and it should gradually come out in 30 min.

>>732821433
That's hilarious. Just cause your daddy transferred you that money does not mean you made it. What a faggot. Go back to your drugs

>>732821110

kek

>>732820301
kek

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I just saw the constipated asshole of an opioid dependent.
Wow.
Either way, OP, I think you can push through with quitting. Several years ago, I weighed 240 lbs and was a fat barstad. There was this person who I was really excited about who was in the varsity track team. Well, I knew I had to shape up my act and stop being in the mindset of "I'm fat" and started being in the mindset of "I can be any damn thing I want to be", long story short, I moved up my position from dead last on the track team to the upper 70th percentile in a school of 4000 with a track team size of 200. My solution was to lose myself to an activity.
I spent hours every day biking to the gym and home in the morning, and again later at night. When I got home, I would relax or do woodworking.
What I'm trying to get across is, YOU CAN DO IT.

hey bud, I know how horrible that is. it's really the worst part of opis. now what you need to do-- and it's gonna be hard, but WORTH IT-- is not get high in the morning. let yourself start to get a little sick, and you'll poop. if you wait as long as you can, you'll completely empty your bowels. dopesickness doesn't take THAT long to set in. so just hold off and let it out. otherwise you'll get an impaction, and you'll HAVE to go to the hospital then, and it'll be so much more painful.

So where about in Douglas Wyoming do you live?

>>732819126
>take srynge
>fill it with water
>pump it in your pooper several times
>???
>profit

>>732822246
I don't live in Douglas Wyoming lol.

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>>732820944

>>732818658

Stop eating rocks

>>732822592
Yes you do

>>732822689
Fuck you

>>732822734
How do you know?

>>732822833
You jealous faggot?

>>732822689
Awesome, what do you do bro?

>>732822734
Lmfao no.. I don't?

>>732823032
Dev Ops Engineer

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>>732820919
Oh yeah check this bitch

>>732820413
Dude wtf I can't imagine stretching my asshole to the point where you can fit a fucking fire extinguisher.

>>732820919
>Ass bleeding isn't normal
It appears to be from hemorrhoids.

>>732818658
>milk
>oil
Pick one

>>732821433
How did you go from 4k to 1k

prune juice everynight

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>>732818658
I lold

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>>732818658

drink mineral oil
or put some in your ass to soften the stool
eat an orange
drink water
prune juice.
take a laxative.
it's probably stuck in your rectum like the photo..unless that is you

then you def need to soften it with some oil and sit with it in you and just wait like 40 minutes to an hour.

warmer oil the better

Eat Taco Bell

>>732824266
My steam account has 5000$ worth of games on it. Have a 1500$ gaming laptop I just bought, 70 inch curved flat screen I put 1500 down on and financed the rest. I don't manage my money well.

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>>732818658
Drink like 3 quarts of water. No, not mt. dew, asshole. Eat 2 entire bags of marshmallows. Don't plan on doing anything tomorrow.

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>>732824590
Yeah that's me. I'm off the toilet now. Thanks for the advice and company, other than the dickfucks that think I'm on heroin.

>>732824938>>732819126
you ARE on heroin faggot OP. what's with the cook set?

>>732824677
you do heroine, play games on steam and likely dont have a job, but get money from parents

you are a hard log of shit stuck in your own failure of an ass

>>732825201
Dilaudid is not heroin. The bioavailability is 30% oral, 100% IV. I'm pretty sure I'd know if my doctor were prescribing me heroin.

>>732824938
posts constipated butthole
posts banking information
posts location in banking information
posts face

dude can you just give us your address and phone number too?

>>732824938
Dude you had a spoon, syringe, and a lighter in your pockets. Your on drugs dude

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>>732825558

>>732825760
Dilaudid is not heroin. I am on drugs. Just not some shit I get from a shady motherfucker. I get it from my doctor.

>>732825428
Why, do you wanna call me?

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Maybe froot loops can give you a job?

>>732826515
Haha i almost did one of those drug trials they pay you for, for my Xanax. But decided against it because they said I had to stay off all meds throughout.

>>732818658
Legit did get some good advice. I had a chinga baby back in my smack shootin days. There are glycerin suppositories, the mineral oil never worked for me, cause I always threw it up. Theres a trick to get you to "flush" your system, but its dangerous.

ITS DANGEROUS, FOR REAL. You gotta hydrate like a mofo, get the suppository (i think CVS walgreens) They have little liquid shooters of glycerin, or straight up cone shaped bastards. Shove it up there. Let it soak in, you can try an enema, but you really are flirting with disaster. Im not kidding, fissures in the ass are easy when youve been chasin diesel for a while.

>>732818658
Grape Juice. Both white or regular grape juice should be fine. Just buy a gallon jug and down half the jug / what you can. Keep drinking it as often as possible. That should do it, just give it a couple of hours. One little kid-sized jug is normally enough to clean me out. I've never actually been constipated though, either.

>>732826674
Tbh I was off my psych meds when i made that.
Went today and got more. I just saw the thread and thought it fit.

>>732827238 (My bad... me)
>>732818658

The flushing technique is drink a quart of salt water. Yes, salt water, like from the ocean, or make some yourself. Look that shit up on google.

You are going to feel like absolute shit when you try to digest that concoction, so soften the doo doo up as much as you can. You dont want that liquid in your stomach longer than needed.

The one dude saying youre "Impacted" aint joking. I can guarantee if you survive your addiction, you will have colon issues in old age. colitis, diverticulitus etc

>>732825428
the dickhead basically already did

>>732821433

Idk if anyone mentioned it but miralax regularly will help keep it from happening again.
Generic is polyethylene glycol. It makes ur shit retain more water.

>>732827394
I drink grapefruit juice daily, not a fan of grape. I think I'll get some natural stool softner and look into a diet I can change to. That was most definitely unpleasant.
>>732827238
Thank you for the advice. I may do that clean. Sounds like a good idea. >>732827641
You really think I'm worried? Watcha gon' do?

>>732827587
I've also always had issues with my BMs. I've never had it checked out, although after today I think I might. I think there may be something wrong with my prostrate (I don't know if the two are related) even pre-addiction I always felt something was wrong.

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>>732818658
magnesium citrate will make you shit and possibly give you explosive diarrhea, or you can scoop it out with the spoon.

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https://youtu.be/h7OyzcdvEyY


Try This OP

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>>732828770
https://youtu.be/QejWcGBepUw

Or Doing this

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Dont let this happen to ya

https://youtu.be/gxGdZMT18fY

>>732820301
Underrated

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When All else Fails

>>732825401
Apart from the fact that Herion is illegal and might be contaminated Diladud really isn't much better to be shooting. Shooting anything is bad for you.

>>732829164
I'm just not into putting something in my body I got from someone standing on a street corner. The only reason I IV the dilaudid is because bioavailability. I'm safe of course. New needle every time, sterilization and such. I'm not telling you to do it, it's just how I choose to.

>>732829369
I've already spent years shooting and its not gonna get you anywhere except collapsed veins and a higher tolerance and more drugs needed. Richer people than you have wasted all their money on drugs

>>732829476
I'll pull reigns if my tolerance builds up, I stairstep down and go back at it. I've been doing it for 6 years, if I'm doing more than three a day I'll slowly go down to one a day, then slowly go back up to three a day.. system hasn't failed me yet.

>>732825401
>Dilaudid is not heroin. The bioavailability is 30% oral, 100% IV. I'm pretty sure I'd know if my doctor were prescribing me heroin.

1) any opioid causes constipation.

2) if you have a dr. your dr. can give you another prescrtion exactly for this - to block opioid related constipation. because science.

3) your doctor prescribes a spoon, needle and matches to administer your dilaudid?

>>732825558

please someone tell me you got this before faggot OP deleted

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>>732819126
>Drug user

Overdose pls

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34 cents

>>732822689
Calling fake and gay if you keep the overwhelming majority in checking and not saving

>>732830360
>>732825401

it's called Movantik, faggot OP.

it's a mu-opioid antagonist that counteracts the effects of opioids in the intestines. constipation goes away. Movantik can't get into the brain so it doesn't block the euphoria (let's face it, you're not in it for the pain relief) of the dilaudid or heroin or morphine or oxy or codeine.

Ask for it by name! faggot OP. Movantik,

>>732830403
I reposted it you poorfag. One day when you save up for a couple of years you'll make enough to get what I make in two months.

>>732831089
Movantik? That's the opiod induced constipation meds? Thanks bro.

>>732831196

sad. we came in at about $987,500. of course there are two of us, but still, puts yours to shame heroin addicted faggot OP

>>732819686

Too much insoluble fibre isn't a good idea, either.

I was eating a shitload (heh) of konnyaku noodles in salads, curries, soup, stews, all kinds of things, since it's almost completely calorie-free. Then I didn't shit for two weeks. That was Not Fun.

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check it poorfags

>>732831317

yes sir, faggot OP. you take Movantik wiht your heroin and you will not get constipated. ask your doctor

>>732831350
Proof? Thought so.

>>732831431

yeah, not remotely interested in whether you believe me.

>>732831412
It's not heroin it's hydromorphone faggot. But thanks.

>>732831502
Whatever you say poorfag. Have fun working at Walmart, they still hire retards for door greeting right?

use the $20 to get an enema

>>732831575
is there a fucking difference mate