ITT we give ourselves superpowers and others set limitations.

Only when no one is watching you.

>>732791511
useless though.

>>732791709
exactly

>>732791342
You have a completely normal shadow.

>>732791709
That's the point desu

The powers of Plastic Man

Elasticity

>>732791342
But only when your eyes are closed.

Reverse my aging at any time

The power to control the opposite sex through mind control

>>732791709
If you go invisible when no one is watching, then you can stay invisible since no one can no longer watch you.

>>732791858
Only works on cats

The power to successfully bait on forums without getting banned.

>>732791855
You have to die first

>>732791832
>microplastics floating in the ocean are now your body

>>732791342
You forever stay invisible.

The ability to seduce women

>>732791930
You are a nigger Jew

>>732791855
But only as long as you can hold your breath.

The ability to shit out large gold bricks.

>>732791832
you have no bones

>>732791970
For other men

File: 084.png (298KB, 600x512px) Image search: [Google]

298KB, 600x512px

>>732791932

File: Bullshit Man.jpg (66KB, 428x600px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 428x600px

>>732791342
Ok OP. You smell like 10 years of taco farts all the time.
Mine: My dick cures cancer.

>>732791970
It turns them lesbian

File: IMG_6424.jpg (27KB, 512x288px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 512x288px

>>732791342
Teleportation what's its limits b

>>732791970
It only works on largely obese radical feminists.

>>732791832
Your brittle to ductile temperature is at about 200°C.

File: Invisible-Boy-Mystery-Men-Kel-Mitchell.jpg (61KB, 500x567px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 500x567px

>>732791342
>>732791511
>>732791709
>>732791740
its been done

>>732791984
u mad white goim?

>>732792000
hemorrhoids

>>732792032
but gives aids

>>732791970
Only works on trannies

I can fly.

>>732792007

Ouch.

>>732792064
You can only teleport once a day within a radius of 300 miles, served.

File: humor2.jpg (16KB, 400x266px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 400x266px

>>732791984
Jesus

>>732792000
they come without warning and are jagged

>>732792000
It hurts, destroys your toilet and brings the value of gold lower and lower. Libertarians hate you.

>>732792137
but only straight upwards.

telekinesis

>>732792032
by sucking all cancer into your dick.

>>732792012
So you have to die of old age in order to use your powers or kys

>>732792000
>The ability to shit out large gold bricks.
You have to swallow large gold bricks the same size the day before.

>>732792000
But it hurts like hell because you're shitting large gold bricks.

Telekenesis.

>>732791832
You can feel yiur limbs being stretched.

Survive a jump from any height

>>732792137

For as long as you can hold your breath.

File: link laugh.jpg (17KB, 256x352px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 256x352px

>>732792130
thats fucking brilliant

>>732792064
you can only teleport your own body. no clothes or carried items

>>732792032
Only on /pol

>>732791930
Any non bait related post gets you permabanned.

File: 1489777582851.jpg (80KB, 960x662px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 960x662px

>>732791342
Time control. Betch!

>>732791970
>but having no cock

the power of almond activation

>>732791342
Your clothes stay visible. You can't be invisible without wearing ridiculous clothing.

File: snoop.jpg (18KB, 333x413px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 333x413px

>>732792241

>>732792000
they still smell like fresh shit and are illegal nazi gold

>>732792064
Anywhere at any time, instantly. But you have to know the exact coordinates of your atoms and move them.

>>732791855
Your brain maturity is also lost with age.

Telekinesis

>>732792240
He said at any time, you gave only a certain time that it could be used.

Teleportation to anywhere in the world

>>732792176
Bra that's a sounds like an actual draw back of teleporting

>>732792303
Oh shit its the guy who always calls dibs on time control. Each time you use it, your life expectancy decreases considerably.

>>732792303
You can only stop time by holding in your pee

>>732791855
Removes the amount of time you reverse by from someone you're very close to. Will not work without loved ones.

>>732791858
Your dick becomes flacid when you use the ability.

Immunity to addiction

>>732792248
Only jumps, no falls, plummets or dives.

>>732792458
Ever time you teleport you lose an inch off your dick

>>732791342
To dogs

File: dale3.jpg (108KB, 901x676px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 901x676px

>>732791832
You can't stretch yourself, you can only be stretched.

>>732791858
The effects of your powers are vulnerable to any and all SJW gender politics.

>>732791930
Your baiting abilities have to be replenished by thoughtfully responding to shitposters.

>>732791970
You can't turn your powers of seduction off. Ever.

>>732792000
This sounds like it already has enough of a drawback.

>>732792032
Your words cause cancer.

>>732792064
Your abilities have a roughly 1 mile accuracy range.

>>732792303
You are never allowed to visit the same day twice as a time traveler.

The ability to pause time and consciousness of people while being the only person who can move around

>>732791930
Except you're a faggot

>>732792496
Im sure you can use it to go anywhere within that distance radius, I see limit, not drawback.

>>732792458
>but you die everytime so its just a clone

>>732792304
It takes millenia to activate one almond

File: davibwo.png (311KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

311KB, 1920x1080px

The power to change my appearance drastically at will.

>>732792458
IN the world.

>>732791858
You have no bones

>>732792758
But you are always black.

>>732791930
You have no bones

>>732792548
An eternity manipulating young lovers into more eternity.

>>732792882
Okay, nevermind.

>>732792064
You cannot control what height you teleport to. You may even teleport into the ground.

File: 1494795190767.png (38KB, 121x122px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 121x122px

>>732792758
Unleashes unbearable pain when changing appearance

Necromancy

>>732792606
Sex no longer feels good, nothing does, your brains reward circuitry degenerates.

i can run fast as jusian bolt

File: Amaterasu_Food_Critic.jpg (49KB, 800x596px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 800x596px

When making eye contact with someone, you can read their minds and look into their subconscious.

>>732791342
your visible to everyone except one person at the time.

>>732792758
No matter how hard you try, you'll always be obese and wear a fedora.

the power to painlessly kys at will

>>732791832
you lose your powers in water.

>>732791342
The power to have no limitations

>>732792669
You pause consciousness, but never make an impact.

>>732791855
your heart stays its original age.

>>732793059
Every second of every day, you hear a whisper of "faggot".

>>732792993
Necrophagy, first.

>>732793059
Eyewear of any type makes telepathy take longer to have an effect making everyone question why a weirdo is always staring at them.

File: gary condit south park.jpg (9KB, 220x341px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 220x341px

>>732793059
but their subconscious looks back at you

Can willingly read minds

>>732793059
Within the first day you lose your faith in mankind and kill yourself.

>>732792032
You have no bones

File: hentai1.png (602KB, 812x834px) Image search: [Google]

602KB, 812x834px

>>732792669
You have to wait a day for time to "catch back up."

>>732792758
You acquire a very pungent, recognizable smell.

>>732793059
All of their thoughts are performed for you in a Gilbert Gottfried like deafining screech.

>>732793045
Only when you're both in outer space.
The power to turn rocks into stones.

>>732793059
It melts their brain when you break the link.

>>732793059
cant break eye contact or else you die.

>>732792064
You can only teleport to OP's house.

>>732791709
Ever seen Simon in the beginning of the show Misfits?

>>732793170
Yet everything else has limitations, driving you insane.

>>732792228
You have no bones

>>732791342
The ability to fuck your mom

>>732793322
>[
only works in luxembourg

i can get any girl i want to fuck

>>732793522
you can bring back the dead to? nice power

>>732793312
I'm going to imagine everyone's thoughts this way now.

>>732792304
You forget to activate your almonds.

>>732793170
...while your thumb is in your pooper

>>732793631
Jesus Motherfucker.
No,literally.

>>732792993
only works on snails

The power to prove that gender identity disorders are mental illness.

>>732793800
to only one person

>>732793522
but only while his father is fucking you

>>732792241
Lel

>>732793800
But everyone assumes you're mentally ill.

My turn, the power to bend elements.

>>732792248
You have no bones

>>732792248
All of your bones break and turn you into a paraplegic

>>732793934
360°

>>732793934
you have to scream RARARARARARARA on the top of your lungs one hour straight beforehand

>>732792303
You have no bones

>>732791342
but you're a woman. oh wait-

My power is that i have the biggest dick

Drink bone hurting juice without bones hurting

Cryokinesis(Creating ice)

File: a_baaamb.jpg (153KB, 1024x746px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 1024x746px

>>732793199
>>732793263
>>732793270
>>732793312
>>732793365
>>732793406

Fuck...

Alright alright, what about...
I can switch my visual perspective of life from my eyes to a third person perspective.

Kinda like a Metal Gear camera angle

>>732793934
but you re M. night Shyamalan

>>732794175
Im not even gonna grace this one with an answer, take it away /b/

>>732794175
But you'll be a virgin forever

>>732794175
>impotent
easy, done

Any object that is just slightly out reach becomes easily accessible

>>732794175
Whenever you get aroused you have a heart attack due to blood loss

I will find a 100 dollar bill tomorrow

>>732793934
only in 2016.

>>732794356
You have eternal butterfingers and drop 1/3rd of the things you pick up

>>732794287
The 3rd person camera is the one from Dead Space which pretty much hugs your shoulder and you cant really see anything thats behind you

>>732794356
But they are impossibly heavy once obtained.

What I can do in my dreams I can do while awake.

>>732794287
Every time anyone sees you, you hear the metal gear alert sound deep in your brain at full volume.

File: 1494129042090.jpg (68KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 1280x720px

>>732793453
Top kek, well played

>>732793751
The power to have no limitations would negate such a limitation

>>732794287
but its a sonic games quality auto camera alignment (you cant see through walls)

>>732794529
Love it
>>732794570
Seems a bit excessive for the small power

>>732794175
but your dick is in the middle of your back.

>>732794506
But it will be monopoly money

>>732791709
You can rob a bank or something guarded with only cameras & no security actively viewing the monitors?

>>732794287
Whenever you go back to first person you can't see your body. You just look straight to the ground.

>>732794570
Your nightmares are real too

>>732794175
But only under a microscope

>>732791342
The ability to completly alter everything on/in your body, with no physical harm.

I have a backpack of 6 Pokeballs with real pokemon in them!

>>732794287
Somebody else is controlling the camera

>>732794287
You are now prone to camera glitches that might force you to restart your day.

>>732794707
LOL that was a given
>>732794636
who said it had to be small. last I checked super powers are super

>>732794588
yeah, you cant limit yourself to not doing it

First born child is a natural genius, easily outclassing any modern/historical intellectual

>>732791892
A cat is fine too.

>>732794854
Yep you're right. Fair is fair

>>732794873
he dies after 2 weeks

>>732794830
They age, and every time they use some of their powers it increases the potency of their aging.

>>732794819
but dlc's are expensive

>>732794287
but you move really shitty in 3rd person like you are controlling a character in those 3rd person video games.

>>732793291
But that's every day, minus the killing yourself part.

>>732794873
But he's so severely disabled he requires attention and care from multiple humans 24/7.

>>732794873
but is outclassing /b/'s autism as well

>>732794868
Kek dammit, you got me

>>732793627
You become completley impotent

>>732794830
They are all lvl 1 Magikarps with splash. Only splash.

>>732794830
They don't obey you regardless of training.

Always can get a/the good table at any restaurant you go to

>>732794990
I don't get the joke.

I am Saitama

Okay mine is i can choose a host and while im inside their head i can see what they are doing, fell what they feel and talk to them.

>>732795161
yeah well your moma so fat her splash attack DOES damage

>>732795211
but cant afford dinner.

>>732795232
You merely look and sound like him. You have none of his powers.

>>732795211
The table next to you will always havea screaming baby and apathetic parants.

>>732795260
Only works on babies.

>>732795260
They hate you and are disgusted by your personality 90% of the time

>>732795161
>>732795267
Boom.

>>732795297
Oh man.

I can go Super Saiyan then.

>>732795232
BUT your depression from not finding a worthy adversary is significantly more affecting than the actual character's, and prevents you from having any desire to even leave your domicile

>>732795232
you punch yourself in your sleep

Here's mine: I have the ability to morph however much or little of my body into whatever I wish.

>>732795161
I was using splash in yo momos pussy yo with my dick

>>732795460
You can't morph back to normal

>>732795232
but you are a nudist with haphephobia

>>732795460
but you have to have a butt plug all the time lol

>>732795394
Use of Super Saiyan mode erodes away at your lifespan.

>>732795274
Well I guess I am only going for breakfast and lunch haha
>>732795298
Even worse if the baby is sitting right next to me every single time, and were both in situations where we cant change seats

>>732791342

The ability to alter reality itself on a temporary, or permanent, basis.

>>732795460
once then it's permanent

>>732795567
But doing so makes you mentally retarded with each subsequent use

>>732795460
Anyone who sees you will automatically recognize you as the original you without your body morphs

>>732795333
Thats normal people anyway

>>732795567
All sentient beings are made immediately aware of all changes you make, and they know that you specifically made those changes

>>732795640
Kinda like posting here?

>>732795567
Every time you use the power, reality is altered increasingly more in ways you cannot control.

File: 2f7.jpg (94KB, 601x508px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 601x508px

>>732795730
Ikr

infinite wisdom, at the expense of having microcephaly

>>732795759
so he is worshiped?

read these posts. if you still can>>732795640
>>732795779

File: IMG_0056.jpg (28KB, 228x216px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 228x216px

>>732794548

>>732795211
You have severe ocd and will only order french pancakes.

I can shoot energy beams like anime characters

File: 43466083.jpg (21KB, 349x431px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 349x431px

>>732795511
>>732795537
>>732795572
>>732795643

>>732796022
They're infa-red lasers.

>>732795260
Only works on old men with arthritis.

>>732796114
Nice touch. Bastard.

>>732795885
Not always. Like if you made it so that all female clothing was permanently invisible to you, they all would know and want to kick the crap out of you. Like what they do with the knowledge is totally up to them. You may make a decision that some people like, but others might not.

Complete mastery over the arrow of time

>>732792004
>>732792836
>>732792927
>>732793304
>>732793501
>>732793971
>>732794090
avin a giggle m8

>>732796207
You can still, you know, phase them out of existence.
>self defense

>>732796270
But only whilst pooping.

>>732796207
Then force all people to love you no matter what. they know you did it but what do they care they love you

>>732796363
I can live with that. I love sitting on the toilet for like 20 mins

>>732796207
>Like if you made it so that all female clothing was permanently invisible

What an unimaginative use of such a comprehensive superpower.
I mean, essentially, you would be God with that power.
You could even establish how people think in your 'reality'.

>>732796270
The arrow of time is a cheap toy from a dollar store...BUT you have mastered it.

>>732791832
You constantly want to kill yourself, but can't.

>>732796473
I would use all universal material to build some sort of sentient gigacomputer and merge with it

File: mind.jpg (20KB, 200x292px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 200x292px

mind control

>>732796432
You could poop back and forth, forever.

>>732796348
>>732796400

See, you guys are starting to get the idea when it comes to that superpower.
These anons get it.

>>732796473
These posts are starting to be less theory and more fact.>>732795640
>>732795779

>>732796590
Mind control powers affect mollusks only.

>>732796590
You can control others but never yourself, although you are always in close proximity to your mindless body.
>you watch yourself
>you hear your parents cry over a vegetable

>>732796649
Same as my dream power. Which no one nerfed Muahahaha!

>>732796590
Use of the power increases dementia onset rate.

whenever i die im revived in front of the nearest hospital like in GTA