>What would you do if someone was trying to get into your house?

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>>732764878
Open the door and let them in.
Friends often try to get into my house.

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This actually happened to me today so what I did was:
>Grabbed my baseball bat (Because Australia)
>Screamed death threats and go full fucking psycho
>Chased the bastard out of my house hitting my bat on the side of a tree while chasing him.

>>732764878
If I could, I'd sneak up behind him and clobber him over the head. And then I'd probably tie him up and rape him.
Seriously though what the fuck the robber going to do after I rape him a few times? Go off and tell the cops? Lol
He's going to take it like a bitch and then I'll probably clobber him over the head again and drop him off fukn miles away from my house.
That's if I can I get to him first. Other than that it'd probably just be a huge altercation.... if I lose maybe I'll get raped lol

>>732764878
Get naked, smear shit on myself and yell get out of my eyes

>>732764878
pick up my glock and put two rounds through his forehead.

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>>732765183
>I'll probably clobber him over the head again and drop him off fukn miles away from my house.
>Because he won't remember where he broke into...

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>>732765259
>not being prepared at all times

>>732765044
i honestly believe this, but for the sole purpose that youre from australia

Obviously I would invite them inside for a spot of tea and biscuits while secretly contacting the local constable because I'm British and therefore are a pussy.

teleport behind them and perform a vertical slash followed by a 360 spin and a backwards stab with my razor sharp katana made of superior nippon steel folded over 1000 times

>>732764878
>Call police
>armed nigger breaking in my house
>he shouting you mad White boi
"Ok sir we will have a unit sent out immediately "
>lock my self in cellar with muh gun
>entice the black man to the door unload clip
>wait for police

i would remember that i live in a safe country on the 11th floor of a building and i have a big metal door with a password protected lock.

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>>732764878

Oh...I dunno...probably grab one of these

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>>732765333
Mate, it can get fucking hectic over here.

>>732765400
which one would you grab

>>732764878
Tell them how to use a fucking crowbar

>>732764878
Get my gun out of the lock box fast, call police, sit in room still, wait for cops.

>>732765044
Were you fully pissed at the time?

>>732765333
trips do not lie

>>732764878
Either beat the shit out of them with my baseball bat or cut them to bits with my sword depending on how drunk I am.

>>732765485
I did have a bottle of Irish Whisky, but not fully pissed.

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>>732765397
Enjoy dieing in a fire Kek

>>732765440
One of them

Invite them in and spread these cheeks, my nigga

>>732765333
More what he is saying that he has to use a baseball bat for home defence because using any object designed to be a weapon is premeditated assault in Australia, even if in your own home.

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>>732765349

> Welsh Brit here... Law states I have to try my best to evacuate my house if I'm burgled!

> mfw I can get sued if I defend my own home.

>>732765372
My home invader was actually black, one of those fucking immigrants.

>>732765284
>implying he'll come back for another raping
The expert play would be to blindfold him and then him rape in your basement for a few days.

>>732764878
Dude has nice eyes.

>>732765659
Is that why so many British come to live in Australia, because their whole nation is being burgled?

>>732765661
Yeah I thought so, those Africans from Melbourne? I can't believe the Australian government actually decided it was a good idea to bring niggers into the country. It's just baffling.

>>732765370

Nice dude!

I would use an automatic pistol to shoot the chandelier down onto his head. I'd love to watch his feet hang out like Wizard of Oz.

>>732765596
Which one would the robber take

I would ask him why he's trying to break in. Maybe there are some deep emotional issues that a shoulder to cry on can heal. Then when he's vulnerable, stab him with a kitchen knife.

>>732765758
Trust me mate, we have it pretty shit here too.

>>732765786

Aussie's have the right fucking idea. Calculate how many niggers you can handle, let a few of them in and ship the rest back.

If everything in BBQ land wasn't out to fucking kill me I'd move there.

>>732765818
I live out in Central Goldfields Victoria, so I don't see the nigger crime in Melbourne, also I have 6 guns.

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>>732765893
Brother, trust me.
I have it fixed if we ever correct this immigration issue.

>>732765659
Nope. You are wrong bro.

This is just stupid media propoganda. The law states you can defend yourself and family with whatever force is deemed needed at the time. 'excessive force' is frowned upon and can get you in trouble. i.e beating to death with crowbar as he tries to flee unarmed.

But beating to death with crowbar is a okay if he tried to do the same. Now by all means it's a tougchy call but you are not banned from simple human right like the right to protect yourself.

Hence why I have a hunting crossbow like a fucking nigger murdering boss, rubbing my hands like a jew waiting for a coon to invade so I can get some legal nig blood all over my hands! ;)

>>732765949
Happened in QLD

>>732766011
My answer, excessive force however is not allowed.

>>732765893
I legit want to deport them all. I don't care if they're really great, law abiding or are going to go off and split the atom.
They can fuck off purely because they're black and I hate the look of them. Why can't those cunts go off and make Africa great again?

>>732764878
i would ask him if he found something worth a shit and laugh about him being this dumb to try to rob a poorfag.

Someone did break into my house about 10 years ago while I was there, I work nights so he thought I was at work. It was a dude I knew and a couple of his friends. While they were prying open the front door I loaded my .45 and called a friend of mine on my cell phone who is with the Sheriffs dept. and works at night in my neighborhood so they got a nice greeting. My former friends 2 buddies ran out the front door to 2 Sheriff's dept. patrol cars waiting for them and I had to get the piss cleaned out of the carpet where my former friend was kneeling. Fun night.

>>732766116
You Americans are lucky to have guns, we have shit here.
It's a fucking Nanny state!

Shoot him in the face. I live in Texas I can shoot you dead just for being on my property without my permission.

>>732765574
i said it was a safe country. fire has been illegal here for about 6 or 7 years.

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>>732766011

Interesting.

So your saying my sound-proof murder/rape/torture suite I have built under my shed is a tad too far, but if some polish (pols are the problem in south wales) I could legally kick his fucking teeth down his throat and rupture his bollocks....

>>732765981
I like the look of that.
>anon for pm

>>732765659
I think that might also be true in America depending on in said burger lerr gets a good lawyer. If you were "able to leave" then you didn't need to kill him. Also, having a viscously dect out gun with all the bells and whistles can be held against you as aposed to a simple defensive weapon. Could be said that you were just itching to use your cool gun. I could be severely wrong tho.

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>>732766283
Mate, I've spent more than a year thinking about politics and how we could fix this stupid immigration crisis.
You'd often find me on /pol/

>>732766079

Feel ya. There are black countries for blacks, chink countries for chinks, muslim countries for muslims but no white countries for whites.

WE LIVE ON A FUCKING ISLAND, THERE ARE NO FUCKING LAND BORDERS, WE RULE THE FUCKING WAVES.

Have SAS/SBS squads at all major transit import sites... If they find an immigrant, execute them and charge them for the fucking bullet.

>>732766203
We have a lot of guns but unfortunately very few people who own them know how to use or store them properly. I'm ex Army but i took a gun and hunting safety course. Any idiot can buy a gun in the US, safety courses should be required.

>>732765893
If you live in a Capital city in Australia you don't have to worry about "All the shit that's out to kill you", just be wary of SJW Marxists making their presence felt in local government and schools.

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>be me
>male
>198cm
>113KG
>training MMA
>Just got out from the military
>would fucking take him down
>slap the fuck out of him
>tie him to a chair
>continue to beat the living shit out of him untill the police comes... and where i live that can be up to 2 hours

>>732766013
Worst I have to deal with is derro pot heads

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>>732766414
I strongly agree with you, but the thing is is that the majority of sheeple are fucking stupid and would not vote for such a thing sadly.

>>732766321
Not if you live in gun loving state. The castle doctrine. Basically I can defend my home by any means necessary if I feel my life is in danger.

>>732766527
Yeah this doesn't happen often at all, but I fear it may become common due to Australia's retarded Immigration multicultural policies.

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>>732766465

Good point, when I think of AU, I just picture the outback. Love the accents by the way!

>>732766621
Thank you mate!
Have a fucking beer together ay'?

>>732765044
Good thing you were in Australia. Where else would you use a baseball bat

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>>732766702

>>732764878
Grab my axe and start yelling, if the nigger comes close enough I'll swing it at him

>>732766073
Yeah, kind of.. eh..

take a look at the change to the alw under David camerons rule. It changed the excessive force bit. Something on the lines of 'even if it seemed excessive at the time' to allow people to not be judged in the docks all clean and suited up, but reather the fear addled victim at the time of the incident.

I would find it for you but I'm a lazy cunt and these armitards wouldn't appreciate it.

Loing story short, buy a £100 crossbow and shoot any cock sucker that breaks in and call the police asap. Failing that, bend over and let them rape you, cuz that's about as good as you're gona get if you don't act!

Have a little faith int he system. I've gotten away with loads. ;)

>>732766809
A fucking axe?
You're in America right? Or just somewhere isolated?

>>732764878
>grab my hurling bat, bless it with a pater noster, go to meet the guy
guess which country I am from?

>>732766550

I wish people would say what they are thinking. Working for local council and recently had a 'DIVERSITY TRAINING DAY'. Literally had a sand nigger come in and tell us that everyone is discriminated against, told us that people who wear glasses are different and should not be targeted with hate (I shit you not brother).

Boss asked me how day was going. Told him that I'd like to hear what people would say if their jobs weren't on the line and people would not judge them....

Also had to give a bullshit explanation of what I would do if some sand nigger came in speaking arabic... working in a secure part of the building I'd shit myself, duck and crawl to the nearest exit and prey the fucker didn't booby trap it with an IED. (My answer if your interested was to call language line or use google translate to find out what he/she/it wanted).

>>732766702
I think he means Australia=no guns

>>732764878
Fetch baseball bat from front closet. Allow invader to enter and then cave in his skull. Call police to clean up. Go back to bed.

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>>732766909
Oh yeah sorry, the shit posting side of me took over for a bit.

I'd throw my hat with only a knock out velocity, no need to kill him

>>732766879
Yeah I live in a small village but it's close to a bigger town. If I kill him I could be prosecuted so I'll just stab/slice myself and put the knife in his hand

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>>732766809
SCANDINAVIAN DETECTED !
-Norhn Norwegian

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Obviously depends on where they would try getting in.

I've got a reinforced Daloc Class 3 front-door and reinforced framework and front-end.

The front is also the only logical place because I live on the waterside, so in that case I would probably just open the doors to my pulley-lift on the 3d floor and push my piano out the door and on their heads.

Then call it a coincidental accident, while rearranging my house.

>>732767016
That happens around here!

>>732766895
Jesus fuck, that sounds fucked.
Kek

>>732767110
Kind smart, but then you would have to buy a new piano.

>>732767233
I don't fucking care, it used to be my father-in-law's.

And If I ever need a new one, I'll just buy one.

>>732767135

My acting skills have improved. Having to act shocked and disgusted that there is still hate in this world. Nearly bit my tongue off trying not to say Hitler did nothing wrong and needed more time. Every time I look at the new £5 note I see Churchill staring back at me... if only he knew. Should have saved a lot of time and lives and let the Germans roll in. Don't see too many niggers in Man in the High Castle...

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>>732767293
You rich eh'?

>>732765789
One of them

>>732767110

Locks are the weakest part of the door. I assume you are in UK/Europe? Make sure you have anti-snap/anti-drill locks... Don't worry about picking, fucking immigrants are too dumb for that shit.

Snapping a cylinder lock can get you through a door in under 30 secs...

>>732767359
You're lucky, this is my first nigger that I had to "deal" with.

>>732766702
England.

>>732767367
Let's just say my family business has been thriving for a good 20 years now, so I'm not exactly looking to escape the wage gap or some shit. Maybe if I take over from my dad, I'll be more stressed about the financial picture, but right now I can afford a new piano (or 2)

>>732767486
Don't you need a license to have a baseball bat in England?

>>732767579
>License for a bat
Kek?

>>732767579

No, just a valid drivers license, recent utility bill, 6 months vetting, 2 hour telephone interview, £2.50 in 5p coins and a letter from the Chief Constable of your local constabulary.

>>732765801
Underrated post

>>732764878

There are easier targets than me. Most of my neighborhood is oldfags, my house has a 70 pound pit bull and 230 pound me and a 12-gauge under the bed.

But to answer the question, there'd be a noise at the door or window and then the dog would go apeshit and then there'd be no further attempts to come in.

>>732767430

That's what I meant with a "re-inforced" front-end. It's not just the door. I have the full package. Class 3 door, specialised locks, antiburglar strips, reinforced door-frame, front-posts and walls.
There's also a Cat.4 camera system and intercom, so I'm good.

>>732767067
How the fuck could you tell?

>>732767789
Yeah, well my dogs are half beagles and they fucking cowered under the house and gave me one reluctant bark after the event.

>>732765400
- Burgs also armed
- shootout
- what do?

>>732767834
I can't tell you how much I want that right now.

>>732764878
BANG!

>>732767892
Make sure you win

>>732764878
Beat the shit out of him or get shot. No guns allowed in the black-red-gold cuckland.

let him in, I paid no more than $80 per item in my house
if he wants to steal shit, so be it
if he wants to kill me, so be it

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>>732767955

>>732767872

That sucks. When I used to live in ghetto rental housing there was someone on my front porch at 3 AM trying the doorknob and my dog sounded like she was going to summon more of her friends from hell as backup.

Granted once anyone comes inside she'd roll over, ask for scratches, and show them where the good shit is... but she's a hell of a doorbell.

>>732767789

I have a cat. He'd wake up, assess the threat lick his balls then go back to sleep.

>>732764878
I dont live is under eurocuck rules so I would take my ar-15 that I painted an american flag and eagle on and shoot them

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Show him my collection of furry porn to scare him away

>>732768158

Should have Hendrix's star spangled banner playing, whilst morgan freeman narrates..

>>732768133
Kekek, well at least your "doorbell" works.
Mine does nothing and asks for treats.

>>732767919
If I was a rich-ass millionaire motherfucker I would tell you to just give me your account number, but unfortunately I'm not thát lucky.

>>732765659
Yeah, except you don't, as long as you use 'reasonable force' while operating in an 'honest and instinctive' manor, you are not required to make 'fine judgements' over the level of force. This is your own fucking law learn it. You are not allowed to surprise motherfucker blast someone with your double barrel for stepping on the porch.

>>732768065
Two to center mass, one to the head.

>>732768224
Muh boner is rising
>Continue

>>732768264
>If I was a rich-ass millionaire motherfucker I'd have 24-hour guards, ex-GSG9/SAS/DELTA/CO19/IDF/CIA/NSA Psychos itching to kill

>>732768264
>Don't we all?
Well the guy who was trying to get in was trying out for his luck but I ain't rich at all myself

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>>732764878
Go ahead.

I was taught to aim for center body mass.

>>732765574
>dieing

>>732768305
But nevertheless, the rules for excessive force are somewhat universal in context across the EU, and US.

If someone is armed with a knife or blunt object, you'll get away with a good ol' paddling.
If they are armed with a fire-arm, you can pretty much beat them within an inch of their lives, if the threat-level is consistent.

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>>732768349

>>732768459
Congrats, you made a Eurofag smile.

>>732768360

Have cheerleaders dancing in the back-ground, several thousand people standing with their hands on their hearts looking at an American flag (made in China) waving in the breeze, a The Bell UH-1 Iroquois ("Huey") chopper with 'Death Dealer' painted on the nose circling over-head, pilot with a desert eagle on his chest.... A Budweiser lorry honks it's horn....

>>732764878
run after him with a flamboyant erection

>>732768612
And then... a flight of B-2's passes over head as I cum violently onto the dead burglar while emptying the rest of my magazine into the air

wait around the corner from the door with a bat, hit a few times hopefully knock them out, tie up in basement

I actually went through this during a wildfire. I won't say the exact date or city, but SoCal, mandatory evacuation. It was a mixed neighborhood, being gentrified. My nice home was right next to a house full of illegals/cholos, right across from a normal businessman, that kind of thing. Pretty neighborhood during the day, ghetto bird circling overhead at night.

When the mandatory evacuation was announced, the guy across the street and I talked, and we decided to stay in. I moved my car into my backyard (fear of getting it stolen, but now I know it made it look like I had left), killed most of the electronics in the house. Late afternoon, when it was literally snowing ash, piling up against one side of the house and blocking the windows, I saw the fire department come through, checking houses through windows. I sat that out in my closet with the door cracked, on the phone with my neighbor. He told me when they left, and I watched them peek around his house.

Anyways, right as the sun was starting to set, and you couldn't see ten feet out the window from the clouds and ash, a guy just appeared out of the smoke towards the edge of my driveway. I sat in my den (formal living in the front, den in the rear) and watched this guy peek through all the windows, the start trying the door.

I actually walked into the kitchen, where he was trying to enter through the carport door, and yelled, "Hey asshole, there's someone in here!" It went quiet, but I didn't see him leave. So I sat there in the dark for around 10 minutes, and I heard the screen door creak open. He tried to kick down the door, and I fired a single shot through the door with my .32. I heard the door close, but didn't hear him make any sounds, didn't see him leave. So I ended up sitting there in the dark wondering if a dead guy was outside my door for what seemed like a year, was actually around 30 minutes. Finally I hit the carport light and looked out the window, no one was out there.

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>>732768883

Donald Trump pulls up in his Ford Explore 2017 F-150 truck and hands you the keys to the White House and makes you President. Your first order of business is to the nuke the middle east back in the fucking stone age. All Muslims, niggers and jews are shot on site. Gay marriage is banned and those with tumblr, 9gag and imgur accounts are hunted and executed. Religion is abolished and the world is at peace. Fast forward 20 years and we are all shit-posting on /b/ from outer fucking space.

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I'd get out my Jew-Slayer 3000 and kindly asking to leave, assuming they're unwanted. If not, then I'd invite them in and put some tea on the kettle, then we would play some games and what not, all the typical stuff of having a jolly-good-time.

>>732767892
I can't tell who wins, but I can 100% tell who is going to loose if they show up unarmed.

>>732764878
hit them with a crowbar

>>732764878
Pull my panties down and let him fuck me.

>>732765440
>>732765596
>>732765789
>>732767373
my sides

>>732769608

This sounds like a utopia but you'd never be able to abolish religion unless you killed all members of it and attempted to suppress all mention of it forever. You can do this with Islam and kill all the sandniggers and with those repulsive Ebonics religions in Africunt, but you can't do it with Christianity because then you'd be most likely killing innocent white people which is a travesty and highly deplorable and morally reprehensible.

Suppress all mainstream religion and people will continue inventing religions forever, each probably more autistic then the last.

>>732764878
Fade into darkness then kill him with poison or something, i'm very good at blending with darkness.
Protip: I'm black
Plot twist: i'm actually the burglar
Plot twist twist: It's my own home

>>732769499

Continued

I waited a little bit, turned all the exterior lights on, took a quick walk around the yard. No one, front or back, nothing. So I killed the lights, waited a while, then fell asleep. I woke the next morning, the evacuation was still in effect, and our neighborhood was totally quiet. I called my neighbor, and he was like, "Did you hear all the gunfire last night? One sounded super close!" I didn't tell him it was me. We walked out and talked in the street, and a couple houses had been broken into, and there was a car in the cholos yard that had the window smashed and door open. We chatted a bit, then went home.

On the sidewalk adjacent my house, right where my and the cholos property met, there was a little bit of what looked to be blood. I tried to go down the sidewalk and see if there was more, but I didn't see any. I didn't know if it was from me, or from something unrelated, or it might not have even been blood.

I just kept expecting the police to show, and over the next week or two kept expecting to find a body in the corner of my yard.

Nothing ever happened.

>>732770168

>you'd be most likely killing innocent white people

Yeah, I don't see a problem here. Abandon your religion or we'll bomb your church with you fucking in it.

>>732770920

2edgy fedora fucker detected