/b - You're the only place on the internet who will understand

p.s. When I had my tonsils taken out in my 20s, I was reviewing by bill and was horrified to see CHILD CATHETER listed.

Now I am faced with catheter again. :(

>>732103521
That nurse has probably seen so much disgusting shit and micrococks in her tired over worked career than you could shake a stick at she will 100% not give 2 shits about your dick its part of their job nothing else.

>>732103791

Ya but afterwards I will have to face them in the recovery room.

>>732103791
this, 100%. she's probably cleaned up things worse than the janitors on /b/

I mean...If your appendix bursts, you're gonna have to get surgery anyway, so. It's a matter of
1. getting it taken out and not giving a fuck
2. it bursting and you having to get it taken out, high chance of you fucking literally dying

>>732103880
She's a professional. They Gerber so used to those things that they aren't phased By it Anymore. If anything, you could probably request a Male nurse

The assumption that anyone providing medical care to you gives a shit about your dick is astonishing. Talk about narcissism.

She wasn't gonna fuck you anyway. Get the care you need.

>>732104019

Gerber?

>>732103521
>Doctor says must operate immediately
>immediately
>post on /b/ first

>>732103521
why would they give you a catheder for appendix or tonsil removal? Thats totally dumb.

>>732103521
my dick kinda looks like this when soft, but average "5'5 inches" when hard. do you really have a micropenis, or you just really small like me when not hard?

Dude I work at a hospital, they've seen things a million times worse. It's a part of their job, they will remain professional about it. Even if you had the biggest cock on earth it would be ridiculously unprofessional for them to say a single word about it and they could lose their jobs if they did. They've had to clean out nasty shit-filled infected wounds from the fat ass folds of 500+ lb people before, your tiny dick won't even phase them.

>>732104147

ya well I mean tomorrow. It's 3am here

>>732104176
Are you retarded?

>>732104214

It's about 4" hard if I push my fat back, 4.5" if I am really happy

>>732104223

Thank you. :)

>>732104285

No. Serious question. They are short surgeries.

>>732103791
Untrue. I'm doing my residency right now and there's only been two micropenises pass through so far, that I'm aware of, but each time it's all the nurses talk about. It's a medical condition, so it goes down on a patient's information and gets passed around.

The good news is the nurses are always extra friendly and flirty with the micropenis guys, so if OP is smooth enough maybe he can capitalize on some pity flirting for a self-esteem boost.

Don't be a fucking retard and go get that shit removed before it explodes and fills your insides with fucking scum... Nobody cares about penis size in a hospital setting and chances are your nurse might be a dude or an old beat ass bitch

>>732104857

Oh shit! I am gonna die.

>>732103521
Think they haven't seen it before?...

>>732104094
Get


I don't know what the Fuck happened with that autocorrect.

>>732104857
>it's a medical condition, so it goes down on a patient's information
what if youre average when hard but really small when soft?

>>732103521
No one gives a fuck about you or your penis. You're not important or interesting enough for the nurses to care.

>>732104857
What year of residency are you in? and youll never know what nurse youll get. he could get one that been doing it for 30 years and just doesnt care

>>732105103

Maybe you and I should rub to semis (not together hahaha)

>>732103521
>confirmed for alt-right

>>732103521
As a guy with a micro dick trust me, nurses don't give a fuck about the size of your dick when they ramming that tube up there. They barely even touch your dick when they do it

If I were you I would be more worried about getting erect and blowing a load while the do it, it's a side effect and is completely involuntary. Especially embarrassing if it's a male nurse

>>732105345
lmao i dont even know how id bring that up to a doctor, probably just let them think i have a micro peen

>>732105489

Well shit now I feel worse about it than before I posted.

if the doc says they ned to go don't mess around, nurses are professionals and aren't going to be weird about it wse you don't have anything to worry about on the side of medicine

>>732105489
Nice one, that surely got him

>>732105613
don't listen to him bro that's not true and don't worry you won't even chub up cos of the fear

>>732105613
next time just stop being a pussy and get the surgery before you consult with retards on a Taiwanese fish netting webpage

Thanks all...gonna go trim my pubes so it looks its best, and pray that the pain goes away overnight.

>>732103521
Nurse here. A ruptured appendix can, and certainly will eventually, kill you, after an absolute fuckton of pain. Man the fuck up and go in for surgery.

>>732103521
odds are you don't have a micropenis and are just really really fat.
This is common. lots of fatfucks are like this.
They will think nothing more of your dick that they didn't think of while seeing you clothed you landwhale.

>>732105771

Do you laugh at little dicks and talk about them to the other nurses?

>>732103521
dont let your ego get in the way of you getting medical help you need.

>>732104176
very true. I had a catheter in once when I was like 20 and tried to comit suicide like a pussy... one of the only times I passed t from pain. I was a bit disoriented when I was in the hospital and they said they needed a urine sample n gave me a jug thing to piss in and I was too messed up to hold it n piss in it n they kept coming back n id have dropped it or still not gone n they were like well were just guna catheter you, begged not to have it but they were like its bee like 30 minutes n you cant seem to get it together so were jamming this shit in your dick hole... passed out immediately

>>732104857
everybody with two cents between their ears, can see that this post, is mastercrafted to make OP feel as horrible as possible.

you really make me sick.

>>732105889
No, nobody gives a shit, and we take patient privacy very seriously where I work. Laughing about a patient behind their back would likely get me fired.

>>732105889
Our ward has a tiny dick sweep once a month, whoever can find the patient with the smallest dick gets the pot

NURSES DON'T CARE

>>732106041
hear hear

>>732106105

Oh, like Penis Inspection Day in school!

>>732106105
Most of the nurses will come around and find an excuse to look at it, like they are changing a dressing or something

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>>732106041
>>732106149
It isn't my fault that reality isn't kind to the poor fucks with micropenises.

>you really make me sick.
where do you think you are?

>>732106275
I think they're trying to say that you're clearly not an actual resident, and if you are, you should kill yourself for being a disgrace to the profession.

>>732104094
Gerber because you have babby penis, OP.

>>732106386
>he doesn't falsely affirm the belief that everyone will just ignore a medical anomaly like a micropenis
>he can't be real!

gossip happens everywhere, even in hospitals.

>>732106636
No shit, I work in one, and shit like this is exactly why we have patient privacy rules. It's possible he works in a shit-tier community hospital filled with community college rejects, but in hospitals with any fucking standards whatsoever, no, this shit really doesn't fucking happen, and when it does, it gets shut the fuck down.

>>732106801

Ya with my luck the nurse will take photos of it and post it on my Facebook or LinkedIn

>>732106998
Really, your life is in danger, this isn't something you should worry too much about. Even on the off chance that people give a shit, you're unlikely to see most or any of them ever again.

>>732103521
My verdict?

You are a fucking moron if you are so insecure about yourself that you are willing to fucking DIE rather than letting a nurse, who you don't know, and will likely never interact with again, see your itty bitty button of a dick.

So by all means, let your stupid ass die and weed out your genes from societies pool.

Or get over yourself and go get the surgery.

Apparently, aside from not having a dick, you don't have any fucking balls either.

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>>732103521

>>732107506

Thanks for making me laugh. I am really stressed the fuck out about this. I know its illogical, but...

>>732105097
Paging Dr. Freud - emergency

Aye at least you're not like me & have a urethra play fetish.

Luckily I've not had to have a catheter shaved down my dick but chances are I'd probably get hard if I wasn't drugged or asleep.

Don't worry about it OP none of the nurses or doctors will give a fuck and even if they do find it amusing and laugh about it afterwards shit man they've just potentially saved your live, let em' laugh until the next patient rolls through aye.

>>732109512
Shoved*

>>732103521
Literally none. Nurses don't judge, they've seen worse shit than a lil shrub. You WILL die if you don't get operated, don't matter if you got a peanut of a dick.

>>732103521
the nurse wont care about your tiny dick trust me. dads girlfriend is a nurse. she has had men come in with things stuck in their ass. literally people saying they slipped and fell on a shampoo bottle. as long as your cock isnt oozing stomach acid i dont think the nurse will even look twice at it.