Storytime

>>732030682
Sure why not. Are there consenting adults in it?

>>732030682
just do it, now!

>>732030682
dis gonna be good, bump for more

>>732030799
>pizza
oh dear

>>732030830
Technically, I suppose there are.

>>732030929
It's happening

>>732031008
That was quick

>>732030929
that escalated quickly

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>>732030929
>>732031008

Just one more cancerous SJW production from Obama's America.

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>>732031220
You are ridiculous.

>>732031220
Why cancer?

>>732031265
>until one day...

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>"So what do you like to do?"
>"Oh, I like dancing, making pizza, and schlicking the fuck out of my slutty cunt!"

>>732031265
No shit

>>732031008
I can fap to this.

>>732031265
>yet

>>732031351
Oh no

>>732031351
Nice.

>>732031323
>...in a world

>>732031331
>>732031351
Kek
Excellent timing

>>732031351
Is she looking for her purse?

>>732031220
>cancerous SJW
Teaching retards that they shouldn't masturbate in public is not exactly SJW type shit, that would be more like teaching us to accept that retards masturbate in public and that we are ableist.

>>732031351
fap fap fap

>>732031220
Not cancerous when you can fap.

>>732031351
Mmmmmm, tard pussy

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>>732031442
Yeah, her cock purse.

>>732031446
FUcking CIS scum, not all females have vaginas and breasts.

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This is one twisted tard

>>732031458
We should be able to castrate the retarded

>>732031489
Fapfapfapfapfap

this is getting better

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>>732031489

>>732031489

Ellie also lets the older man next door have sex with Ellie because he gives her candy and new CDs with music Ellie likes.

Good girl, Ellie.

>>732031516
>Bla bla same old boring unoriginal edgy opinion

>>732031614
of course it's a fucking nigger

>>732031516

> castrate a female
> wat

>>732031516
Why would you volunteer to be castrated?

>>732031560
>>732031446
Point number A: Who the fuck uses the word "buttocks"

Point number B: Why does the author treat the dick and balls as seperate?

Or do some women have balls but not penises or something?

>>732031051
>Ellie knows some things are PRIVATE.
Ah the naivety of a children's book. I guess the part about the NSA watching her through her own webcam and tracking her browsing history didn't make the final cut.

>>732031614
muh dick

>>732031351
ship when?

>>732031614
Oh, so she's a nigger lover.
Nah, I'm good now.

>>732031614
Ellie likes black cock, that's normal for white girls.

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>>732031614

>>732030929
bump, I need more

>>732031691
Probably cause it'll be funny to see your face when they do you next

>>732031008
She looks like she's ready to render final judgment on her genitals.

>>732031691
Because he's retarded

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>>732030682

>>732031687
Don't act stupid. You can very easily sterilize a female

>>732031560
Except for some states that have passed laws requiring men to cover their nipples with man-bras when they go swimming or otherwise topless.

>>732031687
>What are ovaries and how do they work.

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>>732031733

>>732031733
>Everyone hides their private zones in public
Except feminists, obviously.

>>732031809
pleas be real

>>732031658
Is it really edgy? Is it so horrible to think we should stop a cancer before it spreads

>>732031809
wrong font. nice try though.

>>732031841
This is my private penis.

>>732031220
Retard

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>>732031791

cas·trate
ˈkaˌstrāt/
verb
1.
remove the testicles of (a male animal or man).
synonyms: neuter, geld, cut, desex, unsex, sterilize, fix, alter, doctor; archaicemasculate
"many of these colts are castrated"
noun
1.
a man or male animal whose testicles have been removed.

retard
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeˌtahd

1.
>>732031824

>>732031958

ELLIE GRINDS.
GRIND, ELLIE, GRIND!

What in the absolute FUCK is this

>>732031903
Used to have a formal penis for going out, but I lent it to my roommate and now I dont

>>732031207
Why doe Elle look like she's slightly retarded?

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>>732032031
A bit of fun.

>>732032031

It appears to be a nice book written to explain to retarded kids not to finger themselves in public. If you've never met a retard, be aware, they masturbate. A lot. Often in public.

>>732032087
She has learned to partially conceal her full retardation.

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>>732030929
wew good gray center light fade background choice to highlight the dark, serious nature of touching one's genitalia

>>732032087
Because she is in the book you imbecile

>>732032081
I came

>>732032017
This book is clearly working to stop autistic girls from joining the porn industry and being liberated womyn

>>732032081
She even has a tissue box

You really are retarded if you think getting your shit chopped is worth a few minutes of mild amusement.

>>732032087
Read the title page nigga

>>732031733
This stuff is actually pretty complicated when you think about it. It's a good thing we have comics to explain it.

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>>732031351

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>>732032087
Because she kinda is.

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what is going on

>>732032081
oh shit she got thicc

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>>732032081

>>732032188
>Not wiping it with her panties and selling them on the internet for mad dosh
she's retarded alright.

>>732031959
Now go to the wiki article, second paragraph.

>>732031351
That determined face. She's digging for a live one guys!

>>732032266
It's true. Her cunt can xerox.

>>732031809
Too soon, wrong font.
>>732032258
Out of sequence.

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>>732032188

>>732032337
She should wash her hands first. Gross.

>>732032236
wew

>>732031614
Of course it's a black dude lol

>>732032236
Should have been on the left side so the friend could be pointing to it.

>>732030799
who actually makes pizza from scratch? i have never done this

>>732032174
Least I know how to reply. Who is the real retard in this situation

>>732031959
Well, once again you've shown your stupidity--or at least your frail grasp on the English language.

>cas·trate
>ˈkaˌstrāt/
>...
>1.
>a man or male animal whose testicles have been removed.

A man who has had his testicles removed is a Eunuch, NOT a "castrate".

An animal that has had his testicles removed is called, in the case of a castrated stallion, a "gelding". Generically speaking, other animals that have had their testicles removed are simply called "neutered males" of their species.

>>732032451
Literal retards.

>>732031789
kek

>>732032451
Us Italians

>>732032451
I have it's a two day thing

>>732032451
I've done it.
It's alright. Not so good that I wouldn't rather just order pizza or bake a frozen one.

>>732032472
I knew that would come back to bite me, GG.

>>732032451
It's relatively easy
Even a retard can make a pizza from scratch

>>732032536
>I just masturbated !

>>732031958
I guess I've got a bicycle fetish now.

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>>732032536
Holy shit, I know where she gets the retard from.

It's her mom.

>>732031841
womens knees are private?

>>732032536
That dad looks like he knows what was happening up there and is trying not to think about it.

>>732031512
The perfect /b/tard.

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now post this op

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>>732032536
>When you just listened to your autistic daughter flick the bean for an hour and a half

>>732032536
They heard her moaning.

>>732032451
just buy a pizza dough and put shit on it. make your own tomato sauce and get some quality cheese, throw whatever meat you want on there. steak and onion pizza is real good

>>732032605
Hero

>>732032544
>bake a frozen one
Making it from scratch (including the bottom) takes too long, but I find frozen pizza to be just a massive disappointment compared to the real thing. Even if you try to go for the good stuff. Once I had fresh I was unable to eat it again.

...back to the story abou the masturbating girl.

>>732032536
The father looks like he watches her maturbate

>>732032451
>>732032485
>>732032544
It's a hobby you do for fun you dumb fucks. Unless you are an actual chef, your homemade pizza will likely be inferior to anything decent you could buy.

>>732032536
Her dad is just fed up with life and wants to give up it all

>>732032483

This is literally copypasta of an actual dictionary definition.

Castrate is an older form, but valid.

> the castrato would like a word with you. And their balls back.

>>732032483
faggot, an Eunuch has its testicles AND PENIS removed, that's why in old Arab times, Sultas used to have Eunuchs taking care of wives, because they would not be able to fuck them. If you only remove testicles, you still have a full usable penis.

Faggot tried to sound smart, but failed.

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>>732032622

>>732032605
That was disturbingly quick

>>732032451
My mom does, best pizza possible.
I am always too lazy to make the dough so I get premade, but make the sauce from scratch.

>>732032550
Well played. We sparred and I consider you a worthy opponent.

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>>732032583
Surprisingly by searching for "vagina in the back of her knee" I did not find what the comic I was looking for. (you know the one) so have this instead.

>>732032708
wtf is this shit?

>>732031841
knees are private?

nice quality OC, for once.

>>732031331
All the kek!

>>732032678
The freshest pizza around here is still just from chains like Cici's, so maybe that's why I'm not bothered by frozen.

>>732032087
Because YOU are more than slightly retarded in your attitude--and because you read another post that referred to retarded people.

One tends to see what one expects to see. When one's vision is clouded with disdain toward people who are different, then the differences are what one tends to see first.

>>732031331
filename kek

>>732032638
Virgins don't moan when they fap.

>>732032622
KEK

>>732031283

where is this from? remember a book with this pic in it

>>732032832
nah, she's drawn like shit.

>>732031265
well why the fuck not?

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>>732032451
My dad makes exclusively pizza from scratch. Growing up I never once ate a frozen pizza.

Feelsgoodman

>>732032737
Check the filename, rtard.

>>732032925
tards do

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>>732031789
Lulz

>>732032966
Those are some fucking orangutan arms.

>>732031510
great some fuckhead from tumblr feels the need to open their mouth with their bullshit, go back to tumblr and seek some mental help for your mental illness

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This is premium tier content. Post more.

>>732031759
KEK

>>732032796
There is porn of it, no exceptions.

>>732032981

>apon

>>732032471
Is it "Frozen"? Because Ellie will actually scream if it is not "Frozen".

>>732032702
>Unless you are an actual chef, your homemade pizza will likely be inferior to anything decent you could buy.
You must be an absolutely horrendous cook to fail at making better pizza than a pizza place.

>>732033019
More like gorilla arms

>>732032981
The only one appalled here is whoever had the sorry job of teaching you English, kiddo.

Op don't leave us hanging man, we need more

>>732032781
You're an hero for humanity. Or at least for /b/.

Are we at ground zero or am I just out of the loop?

>>732033061
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>732031958
look at her the fucking fiend!

>>732033004
I guess we can each only speak from experience.

Ellie's dad looks like he should be turning on the fucking Bat-Signal

what the fuck is this

>>732032768
I tip my hat, sir.

Can we just go back to sterilizing the retards?

>>732033022
Obvious bait is obvious, Ellie.

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>>732033171

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>>732033132
Op is gayotte

>>732032869
nice

>>732033061
Excellent.

>>732032796
Hilarious.

>>732032776
A vagina on the knee is called a kneecunt.
Masturbating a kneecunt to orgasm is called a "knee jerk", and the orgasm is called a "knee-jerk reaction".
Are you playing hooky from school again?

>>732033245
And lose the wonderful diversity of innocent little masturbating girls? You monster.

This shit is awesome. I wish I had an autistic daughter to buy this for.

>>732033081
KEK.
This thread is the best thing i've seen on this shit hole in a long time.

>>732032702
They sell premade crusts that make the rest pretty easy.

>>732033256
To be fair he gave us the first real oc in ages

A friend once worked with a young woman who had learning difficulties. Every onw and then she would start furiously masturbating anywhere and everywhere They'd have to throw a 'dignity blanket' over her and just wait for her to stop.

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>>732032081
Fucking scratchy herpes

test

>>732033351
Fucking lost it

>>732033367
>>732033369

Indeed. For once OP was not a fag

>>732030682
>2am
>seriously drunk
>accidentally dial my buddy's gf while trying to call him
>we talk for a couple minutes, she tells me she's bored and has an unopened bottle of whiskey, says i should come
>i come
>we drink for a while then she suddenly kisses me
>i fuck her on a kitchen table
>we fuck in the bedroom
>wake up
>it's afternoon, i'm in the bed with buddy's naked gf, i'm naked too
>cum stain on jeans

I got up and quietly left. I feel like shit for doing this.

She started it though, but I'll be the one to blame inevitably when it comes out.

>>732031283
ayyy i had this book

>>732033144
There's shoops and porn w/ unix timestamp filenames. I assume this is the matinee.

>>732032622
I FUCKING LOST IT

>>732033438
You should do the bro thing and tell your friend before she does. Otherwise she's just going to make herself the victim in all this.

>>732032622
>my sides

>>732033438
Try to think about what Ellie would do...

>>732030682
IDK why but that's hot as fuck!

Moar or sauce?

>>732033369
It cant end like this

>>732032451
its literally the best pizza there is

you got to try it

>>732031351
No words can describe how hilarious this is

>>732033544
>invite not gf out for coffee
>jerk off furiously as soon as you leave the house and dont stop

>>732031822
unless you mean a nation state, nah

>>732033544
Focus on the out of order Lego Blocks?

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>>732032622

>>732033351
sides obliterated
...holy shit

>>732032981
Well, I'm appalled at your lack of communication skills--like writing a sentence that makes sense and punctuation.

You really need to stop skipping classes and take remedial courses in English and grammar.

>>732032622
Fucker beat me to it kek

>>732032622
Best post of this thread

>>732031614
oh am i laffin

>>732031692

Forrest fucking Gump. That's who!

>>732033502

THIS!!!!!!!!!
She will eventually tell him no matter what.

>>732033351
gota be savage to ride the bike with one rubberhandle missing...

>>732033351
Add a dildo to the bike and it's perfect

>>732033438
>She started it though, but I'll be the one to blame inevitably when it comes out.

Just hope it will not be a child, otherwise you might not be friend with your buddy anymore

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>>732033725
you bastard

>>732033725
Top post

>>732033351
lost

>>732033699
>lack of communication skills--like ... punctuation.
>--
The fucking irony. That doesn't mean what you think it does.

>>732033739
This. She won't just tell him. She'll brag about it to make him jealous.

>>732033502
Fuck that. I'm not telling first.

>>732033725
KEK Oh god my sides

>>732033726
>I am now rereading this in Forrest's voice
It just makes sense. Forrest would know about these things. "My mama always told me not to jerk it in public..."

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>>732032869
>>732030682

>>732033789
Are you retarded?

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>>732033725
You motherfucker

>>732030764
It looks kiinda Gorillaz-y

>>732030682
I'm crying. Thank you OP you have delivered beyond all expectation.

>>732033822
Exactly, it will be brought up when she feels the need to fuck him up.

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>>732033725
are you a wizard?

>>732033725
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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>>732031674
>>732031705
>>732031745
no chill
top kek

>>732032620
Dear lord somebody post it

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>>732031733

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>>732032451
you have to do this, especially if you have people over you need to feed
>buy pizza dough, tomato sauce, cheese, and a bunch of toppings
>let your friends loose on the stuff
>put that shit in the oven. usually takes about 20 minutes depending on topping thiccness and such
>all your friends are delighted about personal custom pizzas
>you barely did any prep work
>you barely have any dishes to do
>you probably have a bunch of leftover pizza

>>732033725
greatest

>>732032620
Gotta see the dark side of the moon

>>732034084
KEKKK

>>732032620
Continue please

>>732034084
same

>>732033253

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

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Nigga post the sequels!

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>>732033438
NEVER TALK OF THIS!

GFs come and go, friends last longer... wait it out and she will be gone.

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>>732032622

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>>732033351
epic thread is epic. sides gone

archiving

>mfw the captcha was GAYLORD

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>>732034304

And this one!

>>732034059
Would like to add personal favourite toppings to your post.
Chorizo, spring onions, fresh mozzarella (no, you can't replace it with preshredded bullshit non-mozarella ) and a blue cheese with a good salt content.

>>732031207
The girl on the right is clearly revising the life choices she made that led her to this moment...

>>732031446
#freethenipple

>>732032715
I am not that guy. You are retarded.

>>732034389
I am going to make a guess that you lean left politically or you are female.

>>732032393
are you retarded? do you need this book?

if she washes her hands then cleans up with tissues her hands will be covered in cootch smootch again... these are retards we are talking about after all

>>732032715
>>732034468
my mistake, i thought you were replying to the other dude. You are not retarded.

>>732034373
I need this one bad! Almost came from the last one but pee is my biggest fetish.

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>>732034328
>roll for your sissy...
anon why?

>>732031220
>>732031220
stop blaming autism on obama

Honestly the side conversation about making homemade pizza is what sent this thread over the top.

This shit is gold

>>732034507
I'm not the person you responded to, but you're supposed to wash before and after.

Washing after is instructions you give to plebs, workers, and others you don't give a shit about.

People you care about, you know to tell them to wash before they start touching their sensitive and infection-prone mucous membranes. How do you think most people get sick with the flu in the winter? they touch everything and then they touch their face and mouth.

>>732034507
She should wash her hands before getting dressed. I'm the god damned batman.

>>732031809
more line height and also text centering

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>>732034588
why not?

>>732032998
> 1494038384032.png
of course it's all so clear now.

>>732031323
kek

>>732030682

Anyone here ever date an Autistic Ellie

I've worked with autistic people before. They straight don't understand how their actions will be perceived by other people. We live in a pretty prude society so most people won't be as calm and clear as 'I'm feeling uncomfortable that you're fucking yourself in public, could you wait till you get home?'. In that respect this book is a pretty good idea and is probably really helpful for the intended audience.

That said, this thread is gold. Have an upboat.

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>>732033351
Lost hard

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>>732034691

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>>732031674
you are my mind

10/10 thread; could be the birth of a lulzy meme.

>>732032622
best post

>>732031351
maybe thats where she keeps her change?

More Stories OP?

>>732030682
I have autism and this thread has been very informative. Thanks, OP!

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>>732033351
There are no breaks on this bicycle.

>>732031105
time to fap

>>732031008

HAhahahahahahahahahahahahaah I seriously laughed harder at this then I should have. This whole book looks like it was made by autists

>>732031512
new queen of /b/

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Today OP was not a fag. Golden find, dude.

>>732034376
nice, mozzarella is the patrician choice
prosciutto, and
>PROTIP:
a fried egg. If you add a fried egg to a pizza and a woman sees, she will want you

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>>732032620
nigga look at that smug ass face

>>732034755
>'I'm feeling uncomfortable that you're fucking yourself in public, could you wait till you get home?'.

Or "I'm getting horny watching you rub one out, mind if I join in?"

>>732031809
that was fast. 6/10.

>>732031265

Why doesn't she?

>>732031351
made me lol at the office

>>732035026
Whatever floats your boat.

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>this entire thread
good thing I'm on the toilet lads, or I would've shit my pants

>>732035163
Surface tension, thanks for asking.

>>732034994
lulz op winz teh internetz reddit XD

Femanon here and im gonna cosplay ellie at the next comic con i attend

>>732034755
Yeah, this is a conversation that people might actually have to have with autistic kids, hilarious as it is.

And this is just masturbation. Try being a sperg dating a hand-flapper and both of you are discovering sex. Honestly didn't realize how fucking cringey we were being and got suspended at one point.

>>732034751
Yes. The way she flapped her hands when she got excited was adorable.

>>732035005
Never even considered the idea of having a fried egg on pizza, I think it would remind me too much of this breakfast grilled cheese thing I do where it is open faced and I fry the egg first and melt the cheese on it then plop it on some toast with some ketchup and hot sauce.

>>732034637
I tell you, I never will be able to look at pizza without needing to jack it furiously after reading this book.

>>732035195
Displacement for me

>>732032998
The filename translates to:
>Sat, 06 May 2017 02:39:44 GMT

What am I suppose to take away from this?

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>>732035207
Show some respect to your elders.

>>732035228
You are so low that you would attention whore for the worst group of people in existence?

>>732032620
mmmm the shota edition

why is it ok to draw these kids masturbating but not ok for the east to do it?

I just had a thought. Do you think we could set up a shit load of feminists to meet up and masturbate in public for lulz and profit?

>>732031789

/thread

>>732034755
I for one support the right for females to remove their clothes and get horny in public.

>>732035354
Nah dude ellie is just such an icon i love her what a legend i am inspired

>>732035329
Show some respect for yourself, or go back to lereddit.

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>>732034755
Go back to fucking reddit you tardwrangler

>>732030929
Just some constructive criticism

If you want to give young girls advice on how to masturbate, the importance of the clitoris should be stressed. That's how girls learn to get off. If they try to just rub on their baginas they'll never reach their first orgasm

Also, kill yourself

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>>732032622

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>>732031051
>Ellie is alone
I know that feel

>>732033248
Autists can't detect sarcasm

>>732033699
>>like writing a sentence that makes sense and punctuation
Yeahs that's the one

>>732035694
Depends on how autistic they are.

>>732034059
>friends.

fucking Domino's it is then.

>>732035770
Ellie needs someone to tell her that masturbating in public isn't ok

She's pretty autistic

I can´t get hard on this, my gfs little sister is autistic

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>>732032622

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>>732035492

We don't want autistic girls to reach orgasm without help. We just want them to be appropriate/public about how they "scratch the itch." Either they figure out orgasm on their own or they don't. The ones that do won't need partners. The ugly ones that don't figure out how to reach orgasm just won't; tough. The passable ones will get sex from people and will be so hard-up for stimulus that even a redpiller menninite will be able to satisfy them a little.

OP a flake

Someome please screen cap this thread