Feels thread

i just hope she and i get the chance to fall in love again someday. she was one of a kind, and i don't believe in fate or any of that shit but i'm pretty sure she was "the one". it sucks wondering what could've happened sometimes

>>731885566
Triple dubs! Are you quoting something?

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literally sent these texts to my sister last night.

>>731885837
damn

I met the most amazing chick at a party and we hit it off. 3 days later she's back with her ex.
I ain't stressin bout a bitch but MAN I wish we could've gave it a shot.
I think about her every fucking day, anons.

>>731885566
I hate to burst your bubble, but the idea of there being a "one" is ridiculous. Out of the seven billion people on this planet, the thought that only one of them - even only one that you'll meet - is the only one who's ideal for you is some real naive shit. Keep trying with everyone it's reasonable to try with, thinking about how it could have gone is only worth your while if you're analyzing what mistakes to avoid next time.

>>731885837
Gets me every time.

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>>731886480
ive been there. women are strange

>>731886415
what's stopping you from killing yourself?

>>731885837
I shed a tear. Maybe cause i can kinda relate.

>>731884956
That thread 404'd

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dont die thread

>>731887164
Without any replys. That's why it's sad.

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>>731887306

>be me
>about a month ago
>in what is easily the best relationship I've had, and the happiest I've ever been
>we have a dog together, a tiny puppy we found over Christmas
>raising it like a child
>plans to move out together
>first actual sex life I've had, and we're both living it
>everything Gucci
>she suddenly wants to see someone else
>this has come up before
>she said when we got together she might be polyamorous, but didn't think she's ever be able to be with more than one person
>some emo weeb furfag she wants to fuck now
>mamadidntraisenocuck.png
>she seems pretty serious
>ask if seeing other people is more important than our life together
>"of course not anon. it's *equally*
>devastated
>she dumps me because I want to be monogamous
>takes dog, takes place to live
>steals my prized Slipknot album
>lost form of transportation, since it was her car

And that's the story of how I'm lying here on my friend's couch with nowhere else to live.

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>>731887498

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I want this more than anything right now.

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>>731887532

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>>731887573

>>731887740
>>731887740
and then https://youtu.be/03qBqP2I4p8 started on my other tab

>>731886831
Not him, but I feel exactly like him.
I have no idea, I have nothing to live for, maybe I want to punish myself by being alive because I hate myself. But at this rate I don't think I'm going to resist much longer.

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have I got the greentext for you

>>731886415
age range, region?

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>>731887532

>>731888068
If you had the touch of a woman every time you needed it, it wouldn't be as special. It's about the chase too anon.

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I had a shitty childhood with my schitzo-bipolar mom and I went into this whole shitty paranoic depressive episode and i jsut ruined a relationship the first girl to get close emotionally.
I miss her sooo much.
But i fucked up too bad and i hate the idea of talking to her again.
Because she will hate me for making her care about a suicidal piece of shit.

>>731887513
Fight her

>>731888399
Details?

>>731888347
No man, this has gone too far. Also, it's more about never having felt a connection with a human being in almost 27 years of life. I can't do this anymore.

let's face it. there's no one for me. I've been selected out. done

>>731888489
The fact that you are seeking out this conversation proves to both me an yourself that you still have hope and you value all the little warm happy things in life.

>>731888258
fuck that hurts

>>731887513
That sucks anon... for your future make sure you always are well enough to pay your own way and youll never feel this shitty in the future

>>731888732
>you still have hope
I never had hope, but it didn't hurt so much before, I used to be more indifferent for some reason. I know I can't change, there's nothing else I can try.
>you value all the little warm happy things in life.
Things that I can only fantasize about, and I have never once felt. It's ridiculous.
At least I have whiskey.

>>731888258
tell me something I don't know

>>731889010
Walk me through a day in your life anon, then walk me through your ideal dream day.

>>731885566
basically >>731886557
You can find an even better one. Imagine a good looking girl with her prons without her cons...life isnt that bad huh?

>>731888461
>I dunno.
>Kinda drunk.
>Met her in canada on a french course.
>She was 14 and i was 17.
>Was being an edgy faggot.
>We liked each other a lot of weird tension.
>We both went back to where we lived.
>He the usa me mex.
>Talked almost every day for like a year.
>She says shes coming to mexico.
>Meet irl again she stays at my house, >we're purely friends but best experience I've had with someone.
>Go to a cool artistic city nearby, trip balls together on Shrooms.
>Make shit a lot weirder.
>While we were trippong things got i tense, we talked about her sexual assault and her moms cancer and me and my mom and the isolation of being raised by a foreign mother and bullying etc.
>Talk about how a relationship can't exist bcs of distance.
>Sad.jpg
>Weirdness ensues.

>>731884956
No

>>731889010
You're not just gonna magically start experiencing these things. You need to get off your drunk ass and make your life what you want it to be. Life ain't gonna hand you a silver spoon, you gotta get up there and take it. Don't be the reason your life sucks.

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You know whats sad /b/?
I think I've been in love with this girl, since I has 10 ithink, then loosing contact until I was going to enter to highschool, I saw her again, I was happy I finally see her. We talked for days and days, it was really great, I even invited to go out with me, but I'm ugly af, so I got angry, and I think I freak her out, I cried that day.
I spent sometime looking for her profile in FB, I spent entire hours doing it, until I found it, I was happy, but I think I have to move on, she seems to be doing great, I'm happy for her.
Pic related

>>731889383
also ESL, sorry for my english

>>731884956
I feel as though no one will love me, not because of aesthetics but because of my extremely toxic personality and self hatred and no matter what I do it won't help.

That and I'm to spergie to get a job (I've tried) and the career I want seems so unreachable because other members are cucks and everyone else has zero talent

>>731889090
Day in my life:
>wake up at 6AM
>get up quickly otherwise I get headache
>turn on computers
>4chan/vidya/practice guitar/whatever I feel like doing
>wait for time to pass
>time does not pass
>do some more shit like reading (philosophy/psychology lately)
>time does not pass
>whiskey
>midnight, time to (at least try to) go to bed,
>I know I'm gonna have trouble sleeping
>actually fall asleep past 3AM
>rinse repeat

I'm not sure about an ideal dream day, I can't walk you through it, but I imagine it as having a purpose in my life instead of being alive only because I haven't killed myself yet. I want to feel human for once, instead of feeling like I'm in a place that I can't understand surrounded by people I can't relate to.

>>731889542
what do you want to get work as?

I have never been able to make friends. No ever wants to talk to me it seems. Maybe after college I'll join the usmc as an officer and feel important. Like people depend on me, and respect me.

>>731889308
As gay as it sounds I care about your mental and physical well being.

>>731889297
B o i

GF of 2 years cheated on me back in March. Only thing keeping me going was this other girl I'd been spending time with. About a week ago, she tells me that she really isn't interested in having anything between us. Pretty much the only person I talk to at this point, and I don't want to lose her as a friend, so I say ok. Tells me how much she likes this other guy. I know im a cuck/beta but, I don't have anyone in my life besides this girl.

>>731889581
A musician

>>731889436
>me

>>731889630
Did you break up with your gf?

>>731889571
you dont have to work ... life should e easy for you if you didnt implant the "sadlife" idea to you.

>>731889571
I can relate to you. A sports I jury has recently robbed me of my purpose and I too have been into psychology and philosophy. I try to be creative every day, drawing, cooking, thinkin, whatever.

>>731888258
Already been through all of this. Lonely people who have never been in a serious relationship don't realize how quickly these things become irrelevant and how much their quirks start to piss you off, and then how you miss being single. It's all a cycle.

>>731887573
Comma after "thanks", ya airhead!

>>731889349
Oh I know, believe me, but knowing that doesn't magically make me capable of doing now what I haven't been able to do so far (and not because of lack of trying).

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>>731888258
I want to die

>>731889894
I'm just interested - what do you define "serious relationship as"? Personally, I've only been in one for up to five months, and I'm under the impression that if the relationship ain't shitty and you both put in enough work, you end up getting something ok out of it

^ a long-winded way of saying "u doing it wrong if you miss being single"

>>731889595
Forgot to mention i had a journal and git drunk and sent her a pic of a page saying i think i loved her but how confused i was.
>Deppession gets worse.
>Worst episode I've had, she went back to usa.
>Feel shitty, dad feels bad bcs of a whole nother story, asks if i want to go to a huge us city, to see a cool gal, say fuck yeah.
>Still really depressed, no metter how much i try to shake it off.
>Get weird paranoid hallucinations, talking to myself.
>Going bat shit.
>Still scared someone will find out the extent of it, some of it was discovered.
>Have really weird experiences with homeless, addict's, immigrants, 40 year old geeks, etc.
>Every time i explaing the weird feeli g i have towards the girl they say i want to fuck.
>Just want to feel i can genuinely connect with someone.
>Finally go to her house to sleep for a few days.

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>>731889956
I love you my dude, it'll all be ok

>>731887564
It doesn't exist. That's a emasculated nu-male's fantasy about having women be the protector.

Girls don't want this.

>>731889860
Told me she just saw me as a friend, and ended it with me. 3 days later she told me about the other guy she was seeing

>>731889432
Stupid and gay

"I think, therefore I am".

>>731890041
>Have good times, never really alone to talk.
>Being gay.
>She notices.
>Still have paranoid ideation.
>Paranoid of my friends, family and especially her bcs she got so close so fast.
>Take shrooms.
>Tell her I'm going to kill myself.
> Go back to Mexico, get drunk and cut relationship.
I feel like a sack of shit for hurting her.

>>731889912
I don't doubt that you've tried, and clearly it didn't work. Which means you try harder, or try another way. Giving up is what seals your fate, nothing else. The world's full of opportunities that you're missing by sitting there.

It's easy to be depressed, and to do nothing. It's familiar, and it's not subject to change. That doesn't make it the best course of action, or inaction if you will. Your capability to get a life, for lack of a better phrase, is all in your head. You're only incapable of doing the things you think you're incapable of doing.

>>731889383
People will tell you it's better to loved and have lost than never to have loved at all, but thats bullshit. If you get her and she loves you and lose her it will kill you. I have mine and I think about killing myself all the time on the though of losing here. I know this is going to literally kill me.

>>731890257
my man you're misreading it
the picture talks about the author liking going to bed because it can distract the author from the shit going on in their life, and they can fantasize about living a life they're proud of

>I just want one person to feel safe in my arms

It seems so simple but I've never come close.

>>731888258
Stopped reading at

"Writing a date on calender"

What grill fucking writes dates on calenders?

>>731890141
>Girls don't want this
Doesn't mean guys don't. Sometimes you gotta put up with shit the other person wants to do.

>>731887513
>used the term gucci to describe current state
>slipknot album is most prize possession
>has no transportation due to alpha girlfriend owning car

I wonder what went wrong, dawg.

>>731890281
Me, a stranger, agrees.
Been through depression me self.

>>731890313
dude you just have to wait for it to get more numb, it'll all be good eventually

>>731890263
And you don't want to try talking to her?

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>>There is joy in depression.
>>A type of art that no one person could ever duplicate.
>>You're views are unique and valued anon. >>Whatever you go through, whoever ruins your day, just know... >>You'll always have the story.
>>To learn from and experience a new chapter.
>> I wake up every day in what seems like a trance, >>yet i still manage to be surprised by the comfort strangers can provide.
>>I may not know a thing about you, but i know you've got something no one will ever have.
>>And you can take pride in saying its your life, you can wake up and know im waking up too.
>>I wake up to change my baby's diapers and feeding her.
>>I wake to tell my fiance every day shes special.
>>I know this might not mean much, but do me a favour and pay the feeling forward.
>>Best of luck anon, lovely night.

>been trying to have kids with wife for 2 years
>went to doctor who said my sperm count was too low
>both sad af
>decide to get my wife a puppy for her birthday
>went to pick the puppy up and shes a cutie
>instantly fell in love
>grew to love her like the daughter I couldn't have
>one year later the night before my wifes birthday she died
>both devastated
>fate, destiny, god, the universe, some force decided we couldn't even have a puppy

I loved her

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It would be nice to have someone there that would love me for everything that I am. I don't have to do anything, just me existing is perfect for them.

I want someone that wants nothing more than to hold me because they want to feel my warmth and love.

I want to know that I do deserve to be loved because at this point it just feels like I don't mean shit to anyone.

I want to feel like I'm special to someone, no one else can ever take my place.

I know it's dumb and in a way selfish to think this, to try to live off someone else. But I'm so fucking tired of being alone and feeling like I don't deserve anyone. I know that I shouldn't base my happiness off others but I just hate every inch of me. I see others love each other and hold each other and I never felt that warmth. I would much rather have known the love and lose it than continue a life of emptiness.
I wish that for once I can feel like someone's grand prize instead of a the consolation prize

>>731890370
if you're nitpicking it, you aren't gonna get much out of it

there are millions of things to nitpick there

for example, why would you just be friends beforehand? there's a point where you both are so close as friends that a relationship becomes out of the question, and I assume we're before that - but how are you gonna do that hanging-out shit if you aren't close friends already

>>731890329
Wut? How high are you? That's not at all what he's trying to say. How did you even come up with that?

>>731890196
>dates you
>you defend yourself
>only sees you as a friend

>>731890488
well, what's he trying to say?

fuck Im gonna be tired as fuck for my shrink tmrw

>>731890435
Considering it, feel like I already did too much damage.
She blocked me, thats how i cut the relacionship.
I don't know what would be worse, to talk to her or not to.

>>731890382
Sorry. Drunk. Reread my shit. It's the only way I cope. She's still mine. She still loves me. I know I can't lose her though. I just think it's it and in some ways I wish she'd end it so I don't have to worry about it or anything else ever again.

>>731890374
A. Learn to meme
B. Described as prized, not most prized
C. Girlfriend was sub petplay enthusiast, fool, whose rich parents bought her a car and my poor parents didn't do the same.

If anything it was my being too focused on my job, I had just started working 40 hours a week and we didn't get to do a lot due to conflicting schedules.

>>731890485
Wut? Why the fuck wouldn't you date a close friend?

>falling for the friendzone meme
>building your life philosophies from a Chinese cartoon image board.

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>>731890566
Checked dude, im glad fortune is with you tonight

>>731890549
You're just projecting your own feels on shitty meme.

Go read a book nigger.

>>731890566
sometimes that helps, my shrink figures out more shit about me when i dont think about what im saying.

>>731890568
>She blocked me, thats how i cut the relacionship.

she cut YOU dood. get cucked kek

>>731890621
Never lose her, do EVERITHING for her, she is all you'll ever need... 'Cause if you lose her, the pain will kill you everyday...

>>731890521
It was amazing up to that point. Her family liked me. Felt more like a part of a family with them, than when I was at home. Girl "loved" me. Put up with me playing Minecraft.
Saw shit going down hill about 2 months before she ended it. Cared more about her fucking Snapchat than she did about me. Hurt bad, but I tried to overlook it, she was all I had at the time.

Green texted the whole story for my final English project. I'll post if there's interest.

>>731890281
>try harder, or try another way
What the hell does that even mean? There's nothing left to try.
>You're only incapable of doing the things you think you're incapable of doing.
You are cofusing cause and effect.
By the way, we're not even talking about "mechanical" skills, that can be acquired though practice, I'm actually great at that sort of thing.
I always felt that there's something missing inside me, I can't tell exactly what it is, but if I had to say the first thing that comes to mind, I would say that I lack what makes me human. You can't "learn" how to be human.

>>731890888
you make your own happiness anon

>>731890568
At least if you talk to her you have a chance of working things out

>>731890957
You're not a special snowflake, retard.
Fucking millennials I swear.

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>>731886415
The sad thing is, she probably doesn't want to deal with that at all. Maybe you're lucky, maybe she does. But she probably doesn't. Most people don't.

And besides, where does it get you? What are you gonna do, cuddle with your own adult sister? That's the problem with "support" from friends and family. That doesn't solve the problem. The problem get solved when you have a girl who cares about you. A girl you can wake up next to. A girl happy to wake up next to you.

Fuck it. Fuck all of this. All that matters is money. Disney movies are a lie and all of that stuff is made up bullshit. I can never get what I want. But I can get money. I can still get money.

I'm sick of being me.

>>731889383
C'mon anon. You were waiting to see her again basically your entire life. She seems cool and maybe you are too. Give it a chance and keep talking to her.

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>>731891131

>>731890888
I'll never live in a world where she's not mine. Thanks, Anon.
>>731890962
I tried. Infantry veteran of Afghanistan. She's the only thing that puts the monsters away, I just can't anymore. I never wanted to be another statistic, but it's almost inevitable.

>>731891020
I'm not sure i want to.
I don't feel like i can forgive myself for turning like that on one of my closest friends.
The episode made me feel close to my mother in the most horrible way.

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>>731890962
I don't think so, I'm not even sure if I will ever be happy, even if I have a special one...

>>731890705
my nig if your social life is built around a circle of friends and you date someone in that circle, it ain't gonna end well

but sorry if I'm misinterpreting you

>>731890944
If there isn't, I'll still read it
And damn she's something else

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>>731891131
For some reason this got me

>>731890957
>there's nothing left to try
Clearly you're only looking at the situation from one angle, then.

You're not hearing what I'm saying. I'll use your own phrasing: The thought that you're incapable of doing something is what results in the effect of being incapable of doing it. It's not a question of learning to do anything. It's a question of not giving a fuck if you "can" or "can't" and just doing it. "Fuck it, just go."

>>731890792
wait, the meme was obviously mean to convey feels

>>731884956
No

>>731884956
No
No

>>731891>>731891216
I couldn't stop complementing everyone at the bar before i broke down in front of my brother and sister after my mom kicked me 3 times

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>>731891167
You know what man? Me too, I think we are just that kind of people that is destinated to be alone...

>>731891262
And you do it, and you fail. What then?

>>731891168
How so?

>>731891353
You do it again.

>>731891314
keep going man, tough times will come, but you have to be toughter.
I know you can :)

>>731891405
The irony is that I finished another playtrough of Far Cry 3 just yesterday.
>Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7n_1zsCVBxw

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>>731884956

>>731891233
Ok gimme a sec, gotta break it up, too long for one post

>>731891545
It'll only have the same result if you don't get better at your attempts

>>731890370
there was actually a time not long ago where people wrote dates on paper calendars. smartphones and laptops haven't always been a common thing.

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>>731887564
Exactly what >>731890141 said

Let's be clear. This does not exist. Women aren't just put off by this, they very actively do not like it. It's not... really their fault, it's evolution. It was very plainly dangerous to be with a man who got scared, or cried, or felt overwhelmed by stress - you can't rely on a man like that to always be ready, 100% of the time, to defend your house or your tribe or your village.

That has no importance today, of course, but the biological changes are already there. You can't undo that. It's here to stay.

Unconditional love does not exist. Girls caring about guys who are sad, or depressed, or scared? It's a front. They do *not* like that. At best, they will tolerate it for a while. Maybe. The second you cry in front of a girl, or ask to be comforted, you will turn into a less sexually attractive option than her own brother. You lose all your manhood. You are no longer a protector or even a sexual being in her eyes. You become a child, or a leper, or some other completely non-sexual being to her.

I have seen it... 15 times? 20? More? Almost every single breakup I know of involving any of my friends, male or female, happened soon after or immediately because the guy opened up to the girl emotionally. Telling her that he's sad, or scared, or feels overwhelmed, what have you. A good number of them resulted in the girl very quickly finding a new guy after the breakup, or cheating before the breakup even happens, because it's (for the most part) biologically impossible for a girl to be attracted to a "weak" guy.

It's fucked. Super fucked.

>>731891545
Treat it like you would any test or experiment. You analyze what went wrong, think about why, adjust for the result, and do it again with the new parameters.

>>731891392
It made me realise how easy it is to lose your shit and hurt the people that love you.
This is the most I've talked about this.
She used to say i can't.
I can't anymore.

Sometimes there's just so much going on and moving forward seems impossible. It's one of those moments, will I make it out? I'm confident but I'm not very certain. The financial side of things is quite frankly in the shitter. I don't know how I manage to survive barely eating any food and trying to pass all my finals, while being in a shaky long distance relationship with one of the only few people that I can genuinely be myself with. 2 years of an amazing experience that I'm afraid to let go. The past visits now. I miss her reassuring me in person that everything is going to be alright. With each day I feel like an inconvenience to her more and more. She hates long distance but still wants to give it a chance. But she says the way things are looking right now she can't see me in her future. And all of this has to fall at the right time. My mind is becoming my enemy, the pressure I have to just pass classes, stomach on empty, doing what I can to get by. You become so susceptible with love and I never saw it coming. She helps me get by, but if one day she's not there could I?

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'butin

>>731891753
Can't what?

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>>731891233
Pt1

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>>731891939
Pt2

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>>731891967
Pt3

>>731891800
>finals
Your life hasn't even started yet, dude. You're still building what will eventually become your life. Don't sweat it; a while bunch of anons here have already addressed this, but there's way more than one girl you're gonna click with out there. Get your school done, find a career to settle into, make yourself self-reliant before you go trying to bring someone else into your life.

>>731891851
I don't know.
We always talked about fucked up shit, then it got ugly.
Wasn't even a healthy relationship, i hate this feeling, i hate myself for loosing control.

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>>731891988

>>731891738
Wanna know what was probably the worst realization I have ever had?
You can analyze life with the scientific method, but you can't use it to improve yourself.
The approach you suggested doesn't work, and I can say that with confidence because it's the only way I could try to improve.
To use some /r9k/ jargon, I'm a cyborg. I'm not really a robot (autistic), but I sure as hell ain't human (normal).
Analyzing everything like a machine is NEVER going to help someone with my problem.
When I realized this, I lost all hope, because I need to act in a spontaneous way (bee urself!) but the core of the problem is that I can't.
Not sure if it's clear what I wanted to say...

>>731892066
Should I talk to her?
I feel like i should wait till i feel more stable.
It's been like 1 and a half years but it's felt like nothing.

>>731891988
Wow dude I'm like so sorry for you. Give us her name and college we will sell her to a saudi sex ring.

https://youtu.be/kECSD6Hs0FA

>>731892066
Do you have a therapist or something?

>>731892329
I'll help

>>731892260
Good idea, actually

>>731892435
Prepare what you want to say to her in that time

>>731892356
I've had plenty throughout my life.
Last one i went to was the school psychologist, first time i went of my own volition.
She recommended i go to a psychotherapist for meds and talk therapy.

>>731892223
So let's assume you're right, and an entire method of dealing with things that works fine for me and a lot of people I know is completely bogus. Why, would you say, can you "not be yourself?"

>>731887513
We accept the love we think we deserve.

Fuck her dude. You might not be able to see it right now, but she's not worth it. When you look through rose-tinted glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.

I won't lie, it'll sting for a while, but time is the only thing that'll help. Good luck anon.

>>731892435
She is fucked playing with your heart like that knowing it would never work out. She deserves to die

>>731892545
Sure.
>>731892549
I don't want to use antipsychotics even though I've been smoking weed everyday for years and been using halucinagens irresponsibly (lsd, mescaline and psylosibin).
Feel if I'm to consider antipsychotics i should quit weed.

>>731892629
You got me there

no one is capable of harboring romantic feels towards me

>>731892612
Damn dude, them's some profound words you got there. I appreciate it.

>>731892666
If you're taking antipsychotics it should be the hallucinagens you're taking

>>731892721
Bullshit. Grow up.

I guess right now ill post an oc feels story

>be me
>growing up, my parents would hit me and physically harm me just out of anger, even if it wasn't just punishment
>dad would take his anger out on my by hitting me or pinning me down on my bed, pushing all his force on my back
>mom just slapped me sometimes, whatever
>no one believes me when I say my parents hit me because my mom is super nice in public
>I've always wanted to video them hitting me so people would beleive me, but I had never had the opportunity

>one day, parents freak out on me
>dad grabs my arm, I manage to escape his grasp
>lock myself in bathroom
>have my phone, so I record
>Dad is banging on door as hard as he can (hes ripped) trying to barge it open
>in the recording, he literally threatens to "beat me up like he is doing to the door" or something along those lines
>feelsgoodman because finally have legit recording
>eventually, my mom gets him to leave
>mom tells me to stop "physically abusing" her, so I yell "then stop physically abusing me", and through my phone at door in rage.
>phone breaks
>recording gone
>feelsbadman


Ill post a pic of the door
heres a different vid from 2015: https://youtu.be/xUkWv4xIrAA

Is it a family if we don't love each other anymore? I'm on sem break and i've got nothing better to do so they've decided to slave me.
>pick up the kids
>cook lunch
>wash all the dishes
>be ready to serve them whenever
i could be just waking up from sleep and they'd tell me to get ready to drive them to the mall for shopping or i could be having a bad day cooped up in my room and once i come down for a drink, dad would demand i cook something for him and lil bro.
>house is a mess; dishes piled, clothes unwashed, things all over
>mom is lazy and only cares for religion now
>dad has no fucks to give; diabetic but eats like theres no tomorrow
>siblings all focus on friends
I'm losing hope myself. Over 18 now so pretty sure talking to them about this and agitating them will only make it worse for me.

lying in bed awake waiting to see if my girlfriend will message me, we haven't spoken for the past 3 days... don't want to sleep but i know it won't happen and it's over

>>731892629
No. She was just confused, she was as lost as i was.
I really don't want to think she was meaning any I'll will, that's what made me do what i did, i guess.
She liked me too.
It was too genuine to fake.

>>731892770
>grow up
thanks for the vague advice

>>731892761
Hahaha.
They can really help, but 2 times out of hundreds they fucked with me bad.

>>731892872
Any time. Thanks for the vague and melodramatic problem.

>>731892902
Whatever works for you, I guess
I'm off to bed now. Good luck, Anon. Have a good night

>>731891712
Good point. Probably shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve. Hasn't done me much good.

>>731892931
okay I'll bite then. how does one "grow up?"

>>731892782
I feel you man, too bad no ones gonna help. You know what you have to do. Hey, what're you gonna do to them once they're old and "expecting" you to care for them and help 'em through their twilight years?

https://youtu.be/KeZt5IGJ1T8
I feel like a fuken idiot.
Should have had control.
Shouldn't have emotions.
No one cares.
Don't bring it up, brush it off and address the next trivial problem on the list.
Do your work.
Go home.
Sit alone on saturday nights.
Now they talk to me.
Fuck em all.
They don't want me they want a jester.
I can't trust anyone.
I want connection.
I want meaning.

>>731889571
I am in a loving relationship with 2 beautiful kids and FUCK I am jealous of that day in the life...

>>731893088
By not being a fuckin beta whining about how no one will ever love you. Get off your ass and make yourself a better person if all you have to do with your life is bitch about some fantasy love life problem.

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>>731893090
>>731892782
door

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I work out in the parking lot while all my coworkers are indoors and I don't know, I really just feel like shit a lot of the times.

I'm just out there, pushing carts at night by myself and overthinking unnecessary things. If I ever fall behind one of the head cashiers will come out and tell me to hurry up, which just makes me feel awful. It makes me feel awful knowing that I'm legitimately putting in a lot of effort, it just isn't good enough. I'll think things like 'I can't even get a few carts into some bins on time, whats wrong with me?'

I just want to do well, that's all, I don't like my job very much but I do it as if I love it.

Pic related: Cover for Carpenter Brut's "EP 1", if you like the synth-wave/future-synth genre at all I'd highly suggest giving it a listen.

Thank you thread.

I was maybe 10-15 posts deep before I stopped.

I just stopped.

I stopped being sad. I stopped regretting how I've lived my life. I stopped pitying myself. I stopped doing this to myself.

Now I'm going to change my music from something sad to something energetic. Then I'm going to workout until I can't move anymore. Then I'll sleep.

Finally, I'll wake up tomorrow and be happy.

>>731893844
godspeed, anon
godspeed

>>731893844
You go fam

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Hi

>>731893844
Good luck and godspeed mate.

Gosdspeed.

>>731893844
take care man :)

One late autumn night, the disciple awoke crying. So the master asked the disciple, "Did you have a nightmare?" "No." "Did you have a sad dream?" "No," said the disciple. "I had a sweet dream." "Then why are you crying so sadly?" The disciple wiped his tears away and quietly answered, "Because the dream I had can't come true."

Great quote, great movie.

The music is really good too.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEOjUxnbJm8

>>731893779
>Carpenter Brut's "EP 1"
This is great, thanks.

>>731894204
Np my man, he had two others after that one that are also A+

>>731891712
If I could onto this with my very limited life experience:

I think the mistake some guys make on opening up about their feelings is that they do it while still in the dating phase of a relationship. Makes it easier for a girl to up and leave, and also makes them seem even weaker for opening up like that to someone who you really don't know all that well.

>>731890027
Not that anon but 'you're doing it wrong if you miss being single' isn't really a thing for me.
Every relationship has its issues and you will always have moments of wishing you just had that independence back. There's good and bad to everything, love included.
It's about being realistic when thinking about if the relationship can work or not.

>>731893844
I just wish it was that easy for me, anon. I'm kinda jealous.

An anon on here told me to not drink when the pain comes back again and said to let it burn my soul because it will make me stronger. Well no drinking for a week and here it is 4:45am, no sleep and it's burning my soul. I wonder how long this will go on.

>>731894335
Will listen.
Anyway, stop overthinking things. Try to focus on the present moment. For example, if you're pushing carts, just focus on that and you'll see that everything becomes easier because you eliminate all those thoughts from your mind. It's not easy at first, but it really hepls.

>>731894518
don't take pride in your strength and self-control

capcha: sunday 6300

>>731893779
Push those carts like never before and finish early. Give them a smug smile afterwards. Makes you feel all tingly down there.

>>731890027
Anon, balancing autonomy and commitment is literally the biggest problem of adult life. Your aphorism is little kid shit.

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>being with gf for 7 months
>breaks with me after finals week
>"Anon, I did not really love you, I just needed your help to pass my finals"

>>731894864
People are shit

>>731894656
It's just never a good time to quit I guess.

>>731894516
To be honest, I don't think it is.

My theory about the matter is that I am really simply ignoring my own feelings.

If you've read 1984, it's a lot like the double think. I look at my own sadness and say "that doesn't exist. I am not sad. I am happy".

Sometimes I see through my own illusion and I hate it and myself so much. Then, to cope with it, I throw the sheet back over it.

Anyways, I also love to find other things to distract myself. I generally don't let myself have any time to sit down and think. I keep a pretty busy schedule with school and everything. When I do have free time, I desperately try to give it away by hanging out with people (even if I hate them), looking at memes, or exercising.

This year alone (my first year actually working out), my bench has gone up from 125 to 175, my run time went from 11:15 to about 8:15 (one mile). My number of reps fro situps/push ups in two minutes has gone from 55/40 to 70/60.

For instance, right now I'm doing push-ups and sit ups until I reach 200 of each. In between sets, I stand and do this weird arm endurance thing. I hold my arms out at shoulder level, palms up, and pretend I'm squeezing a baseball. I do it in 4-count cadence, moderately fast, with sets of 40. I do three sets before I return to push-ups and sit-ups. I'll probably finish with 1 minute planks and side planks.

>>731894864
I wish mine had told me that she didn't really love me. Would have been honest at least. Instead she strung me along for the last three months of our two years and married the guy she told me not to worry about three months after dumping me on the pretence of putting her kid first and not being able to be with anyone. It's just too much to ask for people to be honest. Insult to injury.

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I'm in love with my best friend. I know her for nine years. I told her once, but we were kids then so she thinks i am over that. I can't live without her. She doesn't know about my depressions because i hide it well. I am scared that if i tell her i love her our friendship will change. Help.

I'm tired of being completely useless. I can't do anything right. I have nothing to look forward to in the future

capcha: verb johnson

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>>731885837

I lie to my dad too..

>>731895090
I was in love with a good friend of mine back in highschool but never had the guts to tell her.
Years later she told she had a crush on me and still kind of does. Told her i did too and still do.
She doesn't believe me and thinks i just want to get in her pants. Why must it all be so difficult.

>>731889592
Bad news anon, you're gonna get shit on as a newbie officer by EVERYONE whom has ever been on a deployment, even if it's some POG shitstain pfc.
Take my advice and dodge that shit. Go to medical school so you can actually do something with your life besides get told what to do/try to tell people what to do and get brushed off.

8 months ago that she left. Every time I think I've come out of the other end of the dark tunnel it bites me in the ass again within about a day. I think I might be a massive faggot or something. Fuck.

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>be 11
>first year of secondary school (uk)
>couple of weeks in, a new girl joins
>massive crush, first one ever
>as years pass, we flirt a little but nothing ever happens
>aged 13-14, she moves into my class for being disruptive. My class is an all boys class for the year.
>lots of flirting happens but it goes nowhere. I think it's mostly because I was a massive cunt in school (not much has changed...but people seem to like me for it)
>we flirt for the remainder of school but nothing ever happens.
>I always imagined her as the perfect girlfriend...she was perfect in my eyes.
>we meet up a few years later
>things are going well
>bout to suggest dating to her
>she suddenly stops talking to me
>turns out she got with some dude and is now dating him.
>Block her on facebook, delete her number.
>7 years pass, my best friend gets a message from her asking about me.
>of course, I still like her and have thought about her a few times...
>She asked for me to message her
>curiosity got the better of me
>We spoke, she said she missed me (aww...dickhead)
>I play along
>turns out, her and that guy split up
>Toxic relationship
>made me smile at least
>told me she was quite far into a pregnancy and had a miscarriage and almost died.
>I laughed, not gonna lie
>We start flirting
>I get noods via snapchat
>(yes, I have screenshots)
>a little disappointed as she's a little chubby now
>send her dick pics
>she said I'm gonna ruin her
>she ain't wrong. I wasn't planning on dating her this time
>We arrange to go on a date
>she bails
>this happens a couple more times
>she keeps making excuses
>she's clearly messing with me
>she's still sending noods
>confused af!
>the last time, I asked her if she died
>she said almost. I said shame
>haven't spoken to her since
>I'm disappointed that I didn't get to poke it but at the same time, would it have been a disappointment?
>I think so, and I'm happy to leave it like that.
>she's not the girl I was in love with/obsessed with at school.

>>731896118
pic related btw.

>>731890456
I'm sorry Anon.

I've needed some sort of hug for the past year. I'm sure if I got that, I'll be ok. Just need to find someone who cares.

>>731896228
Why is it that no one has hugged you?

>>731885566
>the one
>underage b& detected

>>731892500
Nice feet

>>731895562
I feel for you man. In this case i am just her best friend. We are going on a vacation together so maybe i will make a move there.

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>>731884956

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Jews give me the blues

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>>731884956
bump

>>731897436
Walking out early or maybe taking up heroin to get through the existential nihilism until the sweet release of death. I'm not ruling that out.

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I too am thinking about giving myself a .22lr lobotomy

>>731897644
have you bought the gun?

>>731886691
just saved this and made a rly cool instagram video out of it, thanks anon

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>>731897788
Yep. http://www.heritagemfg.com/product_detail.cfm?prod_id=5

Now I'm just waiting until I have the balls to go through with it.

>>731897925
pic with timestamp?

capcha: homestead pieces.....oh shit

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>Loser
>Mentally a loser
>Every accomplishment is the onset of failure
>I am my own self fulfilling failure
>Getting older my grandmother passed away
>Started to realize I'm just decaying
>Try new things
>Fail
>Fail
>Fail again
>Trying to make my dad proud
>Fail
>Start working out
>Lose weight, get buff
>Can't finish and fail
>Start going to school for programming
>Year into, great grades
>Bail
>Fail
>Start going to school for Math
>4.0
>Only friend is some skinny black guy
>Don't know why he hangs out with me
>Asked girl out
>Said she has a bf, let down easy, left it at that
>Ask another girl out that ask me for help in class, she busy that day, left it at that
>Talking with this tall lanky chick with a cute face, she's pretty cool
>Text her on messenger, ask her out
>She busy with finals
>Try again after finals, she busy that day but said she would want to another time
>She just being nice
>I'm a failure
>I stink of it
>Going to try working out again this summer
>Salads and lean protein
>5'7
>Maybe if I get abs and some thick biceps someone will see something I don't see in me
>I don't care honestly
>I wouldn't mind being a failure if I could just keep my mom, dad, and brother alive forever
>I just want to keep my family alive forever
>I don't want heaven, I don't want paradise
>I just want to keep everyone I care about alive
>Please Math, help me
>Crying atm as I type this last part
>Please world, universe, let me find a way to keep the people I care about alive forever
>I don't care if life sucks...
>I don't wana die...

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>>731898113

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don't die thread

>>731898338
okay. what brought you to this? now that I know you're not rping

>>731898454
Just a lot of shit from over the years. I really am all alone. I think the straw that broke the camel's back is that this girl that I've been in love with doesn't love me back. That sucks and all, but it's what she did that made everything worse.

So I admitted my feelings for her years ago, then her and I finally got to hang out again a couple weeks ago. She told me that she had feelings for me too. We cuddled and held hands all day and even kissed on the beach. I thought shit was finally going alright for me. Then, about 2 weeks later, she told me that she only did those things with me that day because she felt bad for me. She knew just how alone I was and wanted me to be happy, but she didn't want to pursue a relationship with me because she didn't really have feelings for me.

It's whatever though. I probably won't even end up killing myself. A .22lr seems too small and I might just give myself brain damage instead.

>>731885837
Seems fake and gay. No father looks through photo albums or cries. Also what a waste of a weekend.

>>731898688
yeah, I thought that it was too weak too. look she is not worth it. you are better than her. she is a manipulative whore. keep moving, keep going , and keep striving for better

capcha: media carefully

>>731886415
Stop hitting on your sister anon

I miss her

>>731899003

she doesn't miss you

>>731898939
Thanks, man. It really does help hearing that.
I'm a writer, and I knew she liked poetry, so I wrote her a short poetry book. I was planning on giving it to her, but then I found out that she tricked me. Thankfully I found out before I gave it to her. That would've been embarrassing.

>>731899093
yep, it would have. do you write professionally? if not what do you do for a living?

>>731899249
Kinda? I was the lead writer for a fairly successful video game journalism site for two years. I quit about a month ago when I realized that my depression was causing the quality of my articles to tank. Plus I was publishing them as frequently as I should have been. Now I'm trying to finish a series of short stories as well as a novel.

>>731899350
*wasn't publishing

>>731896304
I moved to a new state and don't know anyone here

>>731899350
I assume a publisher picked you up? if so there most be some quality to yur work

bye /b/ros thank you for the feels, take care

>>731899496
Yeah. I also used that poetry book and two different short stories as some of my examples of the quality of my writing. I have until June to finish something. Now I just need the motivation to write, you know? Money is a good start to that.

Do any of you guys have the Clannad story but from Sunohara's point of view post?

>>731899572
I'll tell you this right now, you are leagues better than I am. you clearly have a talent. make it happen anon. I'm not just saying this to make you feel good either. you have the ad advantage of being good at something, don't waste it

>>731886415
did she respond?

>>731900237
Thank you. We all need to have a "thing" that makes us happy.

>>731900837
what is the name of the book i'll by it to support you

>>731900899
I don't have anything published yet. But when I do, I'll make sure to bring it up (subtly shill it) on /b/ and /lit/

anyone want to hear my story?

>>731900989
K in your shilling you need to have some kind phrase so I know it's you desu

capcha: titan main

>>731901098
shoot

>>731887058
story ?

>>731887306
i wasnt ready for that :(

>>731885566
Everyone is the one, until they're not.

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>>731884956
Treatment Mask to terrorists
https://youtu.be/fQjxSugidjE

I feel like there's something inside me. And I used to be able to control it, but it's getting worse. And the nights where it takes over are getting more frequent. And its always there, but now it's becoming more present in my daily life.

I think that I think by helping people with their problems that maybe it could help me with mine. But it's only? Pushed the problem back more. And now there's people counting on me and I'm terrified. I don't want to feelike this anymore.

>>731884956

the only girl i have actually loved killed herself 14 years ago and it still fucks me like a rusty knife to this very day.

the only reason i havent joined her is the fact that i cant let my kids come home from school and find me.

>>731902375
I'm going to write about this, I hope that's okay with you anon.

>>731902907
feel free.

it cant make it worse.

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>>731889910
Got a laugh outta me

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>>731901160
>youngest in family
>had to grow up fast, as I lived next to my cousins who were like brothers, along with my older brother.
>always left out, always the black sheep. Grow up fast, or the strong will pray on the weak
>often beat by parents for learning things too soon. Sex, curses, all that jazz.
>often beat by the rest of the family for not being alpha enough. It was bullshit, I was like 5.
>spent most days playing pokemon blue instead of learning useful skills like math or how people work
>made some great friends with the outcasts in school regardless and me and my brother formed a pretty strong bond. He's kind of a pussy it's almost like I was his older brother
>years pass and my parents relationship goes nuclear, with me and my brother in the blast radius
>fights every night between them and beatings for us because we couldn't sleep
>my brother has always seen the lighter side of things and didn't really let it soak in, but for me, it broke something inside.
>the pilot light within me diminished a bit each day. Whether it be because the jocks were sucking their own dicks over how cool they were for picking on me, or family troubles.
>more years pass and my friends and my brother are just about the only reason I still give a fuck to wake up in the morning... well that and a new pokemon game may come out
>middle school was full of cringey beta shit
>high school rolls around and my parents are still together. I learned at some point that my father abused my mother. It messed her up a bit, but she's ok. My dad is literally the chillest person around now because he too stopped giving a fuck
>we get real close
>high school taught me how not to be a betafag, or so I believed
>get cucked over this girl I liked a lot and she used me for stuff
>insert edgy teenager bullshit here<
>start getting heavy into drugs and drinking to numb the sting
>4 years of me getting high with my cousins ensues
cont...

May I ask what her name was? I can change it if you'd like. But I'm curious.

>>731903033
>>731903258
Jesus. Sorry. My mind's not acting right.

>>731903258

the girl who killed herself?

>>731903258

heather

>>731903194
go on anon i want to try to help

>>731903338
That's a pretty name anon.
I know nothing can really fix that, but I hope she's resting easy.

i love you all, regardless of what you are and what you like

>>731884956
In two weeks I will never see her again, she's always looking to see if I'm looking at her. She likes me and we have the same interests. I'm decently good looking I just can't bring myself to talk to her. I guess she will just be another could of been

I read these threads pretty often, but I never post because I feel like my problems are minuscule in comparison to many of the anons who find themselves posting their feels regularly. I've been dealt a really good hand:
>loving family
>small group of close friends
>studying to be an engineer
>good sense of humor
>physically attractive
>had a girlfriend in high school
>had a long string of one night stands my sophomore year of college (followed by a dry spell that has lasted about a year)
>don't need to worry about finances due to scholarship

I don't have much to complain about. To be honest, my life seems to be going well. However, despite all of this, I feel alone. Moreover, I feel like I will always be alone. Even when I inevitably get married, I feel like I will still be alone. This site has made me into a degenerate, and I can't let it show.

>I beat my meat to cartoons
>I have become irrationally insecure about my masculinity
>my sense of humor has deviated from the norm
>my interests are childish and I can never expect to be taken seriously
>I am extremely skeptical of women
>I have been convinced that no female will ever be genuinely interested in anything that I have to say
>I've been on stimulants since the first grade due to ADHD, leading me to believe that I'm practically a retard masquerading as a functioning human being, since I'm practically useless without my pills (unrelated to this site, but still true).
>I've spend so much time masturbating that my fetishes have become so strange and specific that I won't ever be able to share them with a sexual partner without the fear of being mocked and humiliated
>for years, I have held onto the belief that I am different from everyone around me.
>I will never find a partner who is into the same niche bullshit that I'm into.
>I will never find a partner who I can genuinely laugh with.
>I fear that I will never fall in love.
>I fear that I will never be loved.
>the best I can hope for is to be tolerated.

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>>731884956
I wrote this while my writs dripped on the paper a few years back.

What is the point in living. I go out every night feeling hopeful and go back home only to think about the act of suicide and the lankness of any point of me ever connecting with anyone . I am getting tired of this way of life. What is the point of any study? To get a degree then what? Live the life millions of people are living? Do the things everyone is doing or get judged? Then, death comes in. He takes everything and leaves nothing behind. No legacy, no reminder, no one in this phenomena you call life will slightly remember you nor have any memory of the moments you are living. Our world is located in a ocean of danger mystery and darkness. Our clock is ticking minute after minute, there nothing you can do, only remember and re-feel the guilt and the regrets in your life. Time is closing up. You are a tear in a Infinite Ocean, billions of mile deep. There is no point in feelings, they are there to distract us from the vast nothing we are all doomed to fall. Internal, cold, everlasting void we call "death". Think about it for a minute, we are all doomed to die and there is nothing you can do about it. Like every matter that ever existed. Memories and legacy crack down and disappear. I'm feeling cold, Help me........

>>731897344
holy shit right in the feels

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>>731887573
Kek, you guys always forget the last part of it

If any single one of you doesn't ever stop to think about the LITERAL BILLIONS of people on this planet that are born and surrounded by less opportunity than you, how can we ever survive as the fittest? The median annual income (Your spot on the worldwide money and the power leader board) is like $5000 a year. Get a minimum wage job save some money and do something you care about. Like damn. Thanks for always being sobs 4chan.

Behold, I, the great thread killer has come
Whenever I post, people just stop bumping and I end up refreshing and seeing the thread making his way to page 10.

Even you guys think I'm worthless or what ?

>>731901401
Nothing really to much. My parents take me to all sorts of shit, i pretend i have friends and talk to people, while i really just sit in corner and want to go home back to /b/ and vidya

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>>731886415

>>731887513
Kill them both, make sure your ex witnesses the death of her current lover/doomed cucc, and that each death is painful. Also gag them and kill them somewhere solitude.

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>>731907357
I free you from this curse. Here is a (You).

>>731907601
Go fuck yourself

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>>731907932
I give you this pepe from my homeland to thank you, take care of it <3

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>>731907945
is it not anon?
"I just want someone to hug. :("
"I unironically want to die."
is it not edgy, anon?

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>am one of the ugliest and ungifted people i know
>kissless virgin, girls have rarely ever shown a tiny bit of interest in me, most likely because of previously mentioned uglyness and terrible social skills
>absolutely no self confidence
>have the ability to turn my life back around cause objectively looking i'm living a good privileged life, but i just don't give a shit and feel like absolute trash
>absolutely no talents, i can play piano and guitar but thats after a long time of practising, and i'm still not that particularly good either
>spend most of my time playing video games and listening to music, and quite frankly thats the only thing i really enjoy doing
>am completely useless leech like person
>90% of time thinking about things that could never come true
>all the friends i've ever had have either backstabbed me, or i've ruined the friendship in whatever way, usually cause of my depression
>emotions constantly vary, i'm usually extremely sad or just feel empty, with occasional waves of optimism or temporary happyness
>been contemplating suicide for a while now
>often just lay in the empty bathtub thinking of how it'd be to just fill the tub with hot water and slit my wrists/throat
>only think keeping me from actually doing it is my parents who i love dearly, and thats starting to stop keeping me from actually ending myself
>get home back from school, feeling like shit, just like every other day
>the shitty feeling is particularly worse today
>lock bathroom door
>lay down in bathtub fully knowing that i'm not going to an hero cause i'm too much of a pussy
>start crying like a little bitch (as usual when performing this habit of mine)
>after a while calm down
>get up, leave the bathroom, sit at my computer and go on 4chan to waste my life just like i always do

Anyways, thanks for wasting your time reading my absolutely useless story with no real meaning other than explaining how pathetic my existence is.

Fell in love with a girl exactly a year ago and we were so happy until she told me she fucked her best friend... Told me I was a piece of shit and she wanted him, she fell out with a friend recently and she text me and told me everything she said about me how I was a stalker and how I was pathetic and she just wanted to fuck with me... And I just wonder why she did all of this I gave that girl everything I was so happy and now I just feel so fucking empty like what's even the point I've tried moving on but I just can't and I wish I could just fucking kill myself but I'm too much of a pussy

>>731895851
I can take shit.

>>731908029
I shall save this picture, because it is important to you. And if it is important to you, then it is important to me.

>>731908093
So edgy shadow the hedgehog would be cut if he was close enough but still I think feels thread are not a good place to make fun of each other.
Not talking about a "safe space" like tumblr whales, but I come here to see people handling their lives even worse than me, don't make them run away and hang themselves

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>>731908159
That sucks man. I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. And I really hope you don't an hero.

I'm sorry that I can offer no advice beyond keep going. There's plenty of time for death. Only so much time for life. At least we're not immortal.

If I may ask, why hot water in the bath tub? Why not just lay in bed or somewhere more comfortable?

>>731887498

Jesus Christ

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>>731884956
She left me on April 6th. She thinks she's holding me back. I had confronted her and tried to get her back but she either has one of her friends pull her away or she finds an excuse to leave. I recently tried to talk to her and she said she was dating someone just to get me away from her. Looking in to it she's still single, but she won't take me back. She thinks she's holding me back. I'm a senior in High School and she wants me to finish college before I even try to build my life back together with her. When I tell her that I'll wait though she seems upset and says "Don't waste your time." I just want her back, Anon. I love her.

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>>731909086
A text thread from her that haunts me.

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>>731908534
Its easy to clean up, as i said my parents are the only thing keeping me from being an hero, i don't really want them to have too much to clean up after me and i suppose blood all over the bed isn't the best idea when it comes to that. Also, hot water makes you bleed faster and it relaxes your muscles. Besides, i have my own privacy in the bathroom, and thats the only door i can actually lock.

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>>731909226
Oh.

Please avoid the bathroom for a while then.

Love you, anon. Good luck.