Anyone else dead inside?

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>>731705666
Satan trips makes me feel slightly less dead inside

Looking for easy souls, Satan?

>>731705666
Here I am.
I can't find enjoyment in anything, unless I'm high or drunk, and even that has become difficult to accomplish.
What makes you dead inside, OP?

Also, nice evil trips.

>>731705749
Do you also feel like you're in an emotionless void?

>>731705934
Always

>>731706131
Same here anon, I'm about to get some wine right now actually. I just feel numb, not sure if it's some kind of defense mechanism in my brain to prevent me from killing myself idk

I still enjoy things
but I know that every bit of joy I acquire took hours or even days of tedious suffering and I know it not worth it.

quit my last job out of boredom and now Im just slowly working through my personal relationships and destroying them for no reason

yeah i feel shit too - only thing that helps the pain is the green. it just makes everything better to deal with, and i don't think i'll ever stop smoking it; i just fucking love catnip

>>731706451
i dare u to throw a egg at ur face cmon bro do it for da vine

90% of the time yes

Last few days were good I guess. Something about the weather

>>731706345
I literally don't have feelings except for anger, attraction and my depression makes me feel like the most useless motherfucker. I have noy considered suicide because there are still plenty of things in life to try out. Plus, sex.

>>731706131
Same. If I go to a party and don't get drunk I won't leave the corner of the room and won't talk to anyone. I really don't know why is this like it is.

>>731705666
so dead inside people think i am dead outside

>>731706626
Kek

>>731707154
I feel you man, just hang on to the little things

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>>731705666

I've lost interest in so many things now.
About to finish my 3rd year in college and fuck I want out. All my life has been school. Every other hobby has been overtaken by school, so I'm mediocre at best for most things. I want a vacation but have no money, nor the time for it.
And this shit is killing me. I don't feel happy at all and have gained 30+ lbs here. I used to explore now I have tests over quantum mechanics. I used to have fun on the side and now I'm trying to memorize proofs for linear algebra and relativity.

On top of that I'm going to have court in a few days about my graffiti. In Texas here apparently the laws are super strict. But it's my first offense and despite talking to lawyers I don't know what to expect. I could go to jail but i don't want to. I've lost motivation and don't care about most things. I should be studying but here I am posting on a weeb board. Slowly I've been getting more and more sad and bored. Even alcohol and weed don't sound appealing anymore.

I feel alone, I feel sad, I feel pressured, I feel stressed, I'm worried for the jail thing. God do I feel dead inside. I just don't care anymore.

> 20 M
> Physics major

>>731708917
Don't worry too much about a first offense, especially if it's petty shit like vandalism. If you have money you could get a lawyer and probably beat the case. I'm in a similar position here man, but at least you're in school and doing something. I'm distracting myself from stressing over my trial too. Hope you beat the case man, graffiti is art.

yea me haha deep inside i wanna die :D no balls to do it tho lmao

>>731709418
It's classified as a misdemeanor B and since it's one a highway ramp I've been told that's really serious. I'm trying get a job and see if that helps. I hope I just get a fine or community service. Thanks though.

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>>731706131
>>731706626
>>731707294
this seems really common nowadays, even for normies. how did we become conditioned to require some sort of drug to function?

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>Star taking stronger drugs to think less
>Started diving into psychedelics
>Start looking into borderline personality disorder and realize most of the shit on there is a one on one representation to what I have been feeling for years now.
>Oneitis actually comes back into my life
>abusive ex boyfriend fucked her up so badly and she's ruined from stress
>All weird and can't love anyone yet keeps randomly falling in love with people

Almost got her back, was going to try to quit all the drugs I have been doing, keep increasing and keep beating the shit out of myself because I go from smiling and laughing to breaking down and screaming and panicking for hours within minutes, no idea what to even do.

>>731709773
They're probably just trying to scare you into pleading guilty. If there's no solid evidence, fight it. A good lawyer can make the difference between jail time and either beating the case or just paying a small fine. I'm not an expert but in my experience, misdemeanor offenses aren't usually heavily prosecuted and the sentences are really light if anything. And a tagging highway ramp is considered serious? Lol, what was the reason behind that? That it's dangerous to other drivers? If you tagged a church or someone's property that'd be worse, you'll be alright. Maybe do volunteer work so you can tell the prosecutors/judge that you're trying to "pay back" somehow? Might help out a bit

>>731710376
Don't fuck with drugs if you're unstable, it'll make it worse. See a therapist or psychiatrist and figure out what's wrong, it's not worth suffering. Lots of personality disorders seem to overlap too so don't diagnose yourself with anything. Good luck /b/ro

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>>731710588
I think they have evidence, they went through my backpack and found the spray paint. Some one had called the cops on me.

I do want to talk to a lawyer again. I've never done anything wrong. I'm only concerned because I have school during the summer and well as much as I hate it I might as well get it over with as soon as possible. And they probably are trying to scare me into it. They gave me a bail bond of $3000. Like overtime else in the cell got fucking PR bonds and I had to stay. I'm trying to get letter of recommendations and my transcript to help my case. Here's another pic.

My court is in 24 days. I hope it goes well

>>731705666
Im completely dead inside. only thing that brings me any feeling is getting punched in the dick by midgets.

>>731711133
That's not solid enough evidence to prove it was you. Did you have any paint on your hands or clothes? You could say you found the backpack or it was a friend's, just don't give out names. Do you have a lawyer, or legal aid at least? Don't try to defend yourself in court especially against cops, it won't end well. I'm sure the judge doesn't really care about your misdemeanor as much as the cops or neighbors did, and they'll most likely give you a bullshit sentence or a fine. Pleading guilty would be the easiest way to get it over with quickly but if you're risking a criminal record and it's possible to beat the case, don't do it. Good luck at court. My next court date is in 2018, it's not a fast process at all. Hopefully we both beat our charges.

>>731711731
Unless it's a serious charge, they'll just want to move it along and have it dealt with quickly. My misdemeanor charges all got dropped after a few months or resulted in me being put on probation, it's not that bad depending on the conditions they give you.

>>73171173
>>731711895
I did have paint on my finger and they found me when it was wet... that's why I'm concerned

Fuck it I'll just hire a lawyer. They found it in my backpack. My story was I just came from making stencils with my fiend for our longboards and on the way back, being stressed over midterms, I thought it'd be to draw a nice innocent squid.

I applied for a court appointed lawyer but haven't heard back. I just don't want jail time. As I said, I'll take a fine. But I would not like a record. At least you got some time to maul things over.

I would like probation.

>>731705666
Hello Satan!

>>731712457
Don't waste your money on a lawyer, you charge is pretty light bro. You'll be off the hook either way, even if you're found guilty. Just take advantage of the court appointed lawyer and listen to their advice. If they don't have pictures of paint on your hands then how would the judge or prosecutors know? No proof = no case. Even if you do get fucked over and proven guilty you'll be fine, worst case you'll be on probation for a few months and maybe have to do community service or pay a fine but dude that's soft. A lot of lawyers will do free "consultations" and review our case then give you ideas on how to beat it, you don't have to hire them after either. Retainer agreements are expensive and a bs charge isn't even worth it.

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Yeah, I'd say I'm feeling pretty dead inside.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TUgANhgHK_I

>>731712621
Fuck you mate, just fuck you

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>>731712845
Shot you're right. They took photos of the graffiti but not my hands. Unless they took notes.

Still, I'm starting to feel better. So the best thing is to talk to other lawyers and keep getting ideas for beating the case and use my court appointed lawyer?

Yeah, that'll be a soft punishment, and that's what I strive for. Thanks anon, you've actually helped ease my mind a bit. Hope your court goes smoothly.

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>>731713141

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I am here

>>731705666
checked

>>731710376
>stop doing hard drugs and start smoking more weed
>stop wasting your time with that lame ass bitch

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I have an extremely stressful job that's slowly killing me. I started in August of last year and need to make it 12 months before I can move on and it's seriously been torture... On my days off I just drink and play vidya or marathon random youtube videos

>>731713395
Not food, he's just giving the dirty bitch a warm bath.

>>731713220
Pretty much, yeah. Notes aren't really definitive evidence, and they're not worth as much as photo/audio or video evidence. It's your word against the cops, and hopefully the witness doesn't show up. If you really want to hire a lawyer then go for it, but I'd just start by taking advice from different lawyers and asking around, and talking to your legal aid lawyer. It's up to you to decide whether it's worth spending a few thousand dollars to beat a small charge when the consequences are minimal and most likely won't fuck anything up too badly for you. Get your legal advice from lawyers, not /b/ lol. Thanks bro, good luck.

Yes

>Distant father, emotionally abusive mother
>Bullied in school
>Drop out
>Divorced
>Cheated on multiple times
>Child i wanted aborted without my opinion being taken into consideration
>No car
>No license
>No house
>Drink all the time

I continuously ask myself if I want to die or if how I could do it so I walk drink smoke run do whatever I can to make sure I don't think about

It's the only thing I can do

I'm so dead inside that im convinced I was never really alive

>>731713532
What a job?

>>731713532
What do you do?

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yes

>>731713835
>>731713843
ICU RN at one of the world's highest acuity units where we get only the sickest of the sick. Every shift is a non stop adrenaline rush

>>731706451
Good plan anon, burn all the bridges!
Also rolling for egg in the face.

The girl I like is a massive slut. We dated for 3 years and I didn't know. Cheated on me a lot.

>>731705666
The reason we are here is because we are dead inside.

>>731708917
Quit college.

You say ,'no way' now

But you'll see soon enough.

College doesn't mean jack fucking shit.
They're just getting money out of you.
Have fun

>>731708917

dude you're young and you will get a great job with that degree. don't sweat the school

the graffiti thing will not be so bad

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>>731707154
Don't ever have sex anon.
Once you figure out how Boring and hard work it is you'll probably be dead within the week.

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I smoke weed and drink wine.

hey, who wants to try to do a write a comedy sketch thread? Me = nuevoamigo, not sure would work here.

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I smoke weed and look at porns.

I'm tired of cumming.

>>731708917
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHa....
Fucking muricans.
If I got caught doing grafeti here in blighty, I'd probably take 5 min out of my time to explain to the officer how I'd never tried drugs in my life and and argue the point that I'm sober as a judge.
Then I'd skip home singing sea shanties before slamming and locking the door in his face.
Why are Muricans so super cerial all the time?

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I really like the idea of making Sarah Silverman cum by nibbling her clitty after a couple bits from a bong. We're both impeccably dressed in a dimly lit, extravagant upstairs bedroom as a party rages below.

In this fantasy, every time, I scold myself for being antisemitic for sort of expecting her to say 'oy' or 'glayven' when she ejaculates.

And I mean ejaculate, fellas. I want Sarah Silverman's Jewgina to female ejaculate all over my face.

....aaaand scene.

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>>731712457

no way toud get jail time.
deny deny deny
ask about pre-trial probation 6 months...

dont get pinched for 6 months and this goes away.

the court does not want to deal with this petty shit just be super polite and dress up/conservatively.

>>731714900
I'll try some comedy sketch.
I'm not the funniest guy but I can be really annoying at the best of times and people sometimes laugh at that.
Plus I like been creative.

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>>731715358

Tweet this to Sarah.

She reads all her tweets.

Did you guys know Jimmy Kimmel is polyorchidismatic?

he has 3 testicles.

Weird thing is : used to be 4.

>That annoying moment when you realise you picked up the wrong drugs container and now you have 2 beers open and still nothing to smoke.

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Hey guys.

Well, that's a negative, OP.

Doin' fine.

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>>731715962

>>731705666
Yes Satan, I am.

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I just want a website that offers solid, no bullshit, solo girl soft porn where the chicks are like 21-35....

And, why, I'd like to masturbate to that porn. And not be judged.

What happened to that chick from hwndu season 1? Venti?

Daddy like!

etc.

>>731716165
It gets worse anon.... I can't find my fucking grinder now!

Who's up for a mass thread wide suicide?

>>731716538
False alarm!
I put it in with the weed...... Sorry guys.

>>731716538
What is it with you newfags and grinders? Nobody needed one of these to get high back in my day. Just use your fingers.

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Sarah Silverman is oddly sexy and alluring, like a Monet, or a tiger wearing lingerie.

Who can make her naked pics be here?


Lol you know some people say that Jews are just tribalistic, obnoxious people...

....

>>731716722
The fact that a hot Jewess is sexy is odd to you?

>>731716689
Smoking pond weed dosen't make you cool bruh.
Get some sticky icky icky..... OR FUCK OFF!

>>731712673
/b/ruh

>>731716722
She's a Jew are you sure about that?

>>731716796
I used to smoke good weed. Seriously, why the grinder? I honestly don't get why it's important.

>>731716777

kinda.

and nice trips777!

>>731716905
It comes in handy for grinding.

>>731705666
Absolutely

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>>731705666
Yup college dropout loser with crippling social anxiety

>>731716971
I guess it would lol... Like I said, fingers always worked great for me. In fact I kind of enjoyed that ritual. Like foreplay with my weed. I haven't smoked in years though.

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>>731716722
It's kosha!

No, I just feel dead inside right now because I tackled a fuckload of coke last night.

>>731708917
i wish you all the best anon, your story touched me because i can relate to it very much - in my own way

have you ever tried using music to make you happy? my life is full of music because it makes me the happiest

listened the first time to New Radicals today and i'm blown away - my mind was literally blown, and i own around 200CDs and LPs plus MP3s worth around 3000€ from webstores.

and that nmoment when i find something awesome musical wise is just pure happiness for me

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>>731705666
pretty much

>>731705666
Yes, every day of my life.

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>>731716722
>tfw it asked me to select pictures of a gas station

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>>731705666
your tripping bro
>>731710376
>Start looking into borderline personality disorder and realize most of the shit on there is a one on one representation to what I have been feeling for years now

shit bro don't even beLIEve that SHIT
seriously psychology is a very questionable soft-science, lol.
"'they"' even got a word for teh shit you just did with it

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>>731716722

>>731705666
>is anyone else dead inside
Do you know where you are

>>731705666
I do.

>>731705666
Yep. Its my birthday today and feel like killing myself

>>731717330
I've picked many a joint my self but it's really anoyying when you have to roll with sticky fingers.
If you start up again (i've only started back smoking more than couple of drags again at a time in the past week or so) you should invest.
I'm 27, you're never too old to teach an old dog new tricks anon.

>>731705666
I stabbed myself in an industrial accident.
Took a 4 inch blade to the chest and lived.
No organ damage.

No I feel a presence from within telling me to do it again.
To finish the job.

Too dead to live.
Too puss to die.

>>731716722
I am both of them

>>731717976
Do it again anon.

>>731705666
Yup

>>731708917
I was in a similar situation last year. In the middle of a CEng degree. Figured I'd tough it out because I only had 2 years left.
Fifth semester started slow, profs were absolute ass, so I stayed home instead of going to classes. Failed 2 classes, managed to make it through the rest.
Just finished my sixth semester. Told myself I shouldn't make the same mistake again, so I went to all classes, spent all my time working, the results weren't really there but I figured it would be ok in the end. But I couldn't even be assed to study for finals, and I had 4 in 4 days. I was so detached from the outcome I didn't study. So I failed another 3 classes. My GPA before this year was 3.75 out of 4, it dropped to 2.something (haven't checked).
I'm not going back next year. Haven't told anyone. I have this summer job working night shifts that I'll have to power through for the moment. And even though I have no direction, no ambition, no willpower, I'll have to find another path for next year.

I'm telling you this because I don't think you should waste another year, unless you're confident that you can avoid failure and will be satisfied when you get through your degree. If you're already detached from your success there is no point.

>>731714522

if it makes you feel any better, my gf of three years ruined my life