I just had a kidney stone removed through a tube up my dick a couple hours ago. Currently in a decent amount of pain and taking Percocet and like 40 mg of hydrocodone. Peeing just about 100% blood every hour or so. I could use a ylyl thread right about now. Help me out anons? Have a stent up my dick and it'd be nice to forget about having to have help every time I need to get out of my chair.
>Tldr; in a lot of pain, would love a ylyl thread guys.
>>731331385
had that too anon. I feel your pain
>>731331385
>taking Percocet and like 40 mg of hydrocodone
Rip
https://youtu.be/83iFyDAPDXI
>>731331385
>get out of my chair.
bro go lay tf down.
>>731332372
that's a good night
Bump. Come on anons; help a /b/rother out
>>731332507
Laying down is worse bro. It sucks >>731332541
Yeah man. It's a pretty good night. They gave me tons of pain meds apparently the stone was... Large. At least I can pee even though it hurts. But the pills help.
>>731333197
Thanks for the bump man. /b/ has been here for me for like 8 years. I appreciate the help.
Feel better anon
>>731333118
whoever made this is one plagiarizing little shit
Bumping for the tubeuphisdickfag
>>731333571
Samesies
Smile, dicktube
>>731333736
Yes I am doublenigger
All of these are great anons. I appreciate everything. Keep em coming if you would. Cheer me up enough, and on Thursday when I pull out the stent I'll post pics and a timestamp. Sure to be gross as fuck. Already peed out some viscera with the blood. Can't wait to take a ton of painkillers and pull it out.
>>731331385
40mg... I remember I got a hematoma from hockey and only got prescribed 5mg for every 325 apap, how on earth did you get up to 40? Wish I could I say I was jealous but kidney stones fuckin suck.
An oldie but goodie out of the archives for you, dicktube
>>731333197
Why didn't the cameraman help the poor man take the filthy jew rat off of him?
Fucking millennials and their openness towards immigrants.
I had a kidney stone once. Truly is hell whether you pass it whole or have it lazered out. Since then, I've quit soda, reduced sodium intake, and more importantly realized that I'm the dirty milk of human waste completely shaped. It was founded with the madness that I was crazy and built my feces. During the wedding ceremony the native Christ is a child beggar, a pedophile Beginning of the ritual singing! Nine months later, irrefutable, the acatematic skull of the anatomical skull faced with a stinking fever fever go back to the mother and smear the Congoid ruin of the village of dust.
>>731333945
>front butt
i lost
Wtf is this world.
cant they do it some other way. fuck now im so scared. OP how did u realise you had this
>>731333992
Not prescribed forty. I've had this kidney stone and three others (according to the CAT scan) for about 2 weeks now. I've been given everywhere from five to 10mg and have been trying to save a couple from each bottle for this day. Just got another bottle of five mg today. So I've got like 40 pills left altogether not counting the percs. Gonna be a hell of a ride.
>>731334260
Not P but Probably realized when he started crying from the pain that came out of literally fucking nowhere
*Not OP
>>731334260
I realized I had it when I took a shower and all of a sudden had the worst pain I've ever felt in my left side. 7 doctors later here I am. Honestly as bad as the surgery pain is I feel a lot better not that it's out. Less pressure. Now it's just dick pain. Still got three more in my right kidney but they're small so if I drink lots of water and have a bit better diet I'll pass em fine (hopefully). You'll know when I have one man.
>>731331385
I had elbow surgery today so also in pain. Not in the dick though!
>>731334936
I feel bad for complaining now anon....sorry bout your surgery. I'll take another Percocet out of respect.
All of these are great anons. I appreciate everything. Keep em coming if you would. Cheer me up enough, and on Thursday when I pull out the stent I'll post pics and a timestamp. Sure to be gross as fuck. Already peed out some viscera with the blood. Can't wait to take a ton of painkillers and pull it out.
>>731334336
>>731334336
Danm dude I'm sorry, the only thing I can mention that might help is drinking white grapefruit juice with the hydros. It inhibits the enzyme that metabolizes Hydrocodone, so more of the drug will actively affect your body. Just note it HAS TO BE white grapefruit otherwise it won't work. The only downside is that it's sour af.
>>731333992
I said I would never be one of those people that gave his cat antidepressants. But the poor fellow was left alone for two weeks (bitch mother-in-law open a bag of food day one and was too drunk to bother again)
He was pissing on the walls and a nervous wreck. After a few vet visits I as at the point of asking was there anything to do before putting him down. Vet said antidepressants. Put him on a once daily for a month. Bingo boingo he was all good and had a healthy life for another 6 years
>>731335258
No worries. I'm sure you're in legit pain so I hope that you feel better soon. I'm about to munch another hydro myself kek
Hey by the way to the people calling me "tubedick" I'm not gonna lie that made me smile. I haven't had a nickname on /b/ for a while. I love this place for all it's flaws. Tubedick loves you.
/b/ loves you too, hosenob
>>731335952
>>731335474
Honestly had no clue that people actually did that but if it worked, nice. Shame though for all the cat owners who don't have antidepressants.
>Walgreens
>so I really need Prozac for my... cat..
>???
>profit..?
>>731336398
>>731336398
Bahaha I wish that's what mine looked like. Can't even see the stent, it's all the way inside with a string coming out and taped to the outside of my dick so it doesn't get pulled out accidentally.
Speaking of blood
>>731336858
Maybe you can do some sketching while you're down
>>731333393
Kek
Saved
>>731337201
I can't draw :/ I tried painting once while watching Bob Ross a few months back but yeah. Didn't go well
>>731331385
>>731333394
I tried that rhino pill that says 42 magnum. Yeah heart going crazy but when I cummed man I cummed like buckets like i was a fucking whip cream maker. Story short they are pills that helps you cum more not orgasam but the acut semeanel fluid
These are fucking great everybody. I appreciate the good feels. It helps.
>>731337410
Smell the summer
Protip: Most people here are not angry assholes. But we love you anyway newfag
>>731338040
>May 2nd
>summer
>>731338040
Not a newfag but not really sure how to prove that I've been here for like nine years. I am a fag though. Boyfriend is a reddit user and he sent me that. So whatever. Most people here are assholes though, but assholes can still be awesome.
Selfie
Feel better tubedick
>>731338681
You want a selfie? Confused anon.
>>731338514
I'd agree with you for the most part. But most people here aren't assholes. They're lurkers; most posters are.assholes
>>731338772
No, that is a pic an asshole friend snuck of me in a sex and then captioned.
Not really a selfie but more of creep shot
>>731339134
Ok I guess I'd have to agree with that. The only reason I didn't open up with a picture of my taped up dick is one, filesize on every picture I take with this phone is too large (no not a pun, my dick is average at best), and too my boyfriend didn't like me posting my body on here, he's a bit of a jealous type. But like I said, in two days time or so when I pull the stent out I'll post pic of the Carnage. Should be fun. Though probably people from this thread won't be watching. Hopefully it'll be gross as fuck and worth posting.
>>731339384
Sit downs and lets talk about that ifunny watermark....
>>731333197
Why season of Always Sunny is this?
>>731338681
nice forearms bro but your biceps are lacking. do you not do isolation exercises? don't listen to fit!
>>731331385
Hang in ther bro, had the same thing happen about 5 years ago. Now I can hold piss 7+ Hrs for road trips.
>>731339669
OP here, kekd.
>>731339520
>boyfriend
stopped there
die faggot
you deserve everything you get for being a carnivore
>>731339520
Hey no worries man. We're here to help you tonight... Till you pass into a nice happy drug induced sleep
god save our gracious memes
>>731339450
Gotcha. Asshole friends are great. I only have two friends. Not counting b of course. Usually I just lurk, but today I got bored of watching horror movies and petting my cat.
Still petting the cat though.
>>731340069
nice hairline faggot
can you get a boner
>>731331385
>Currently in a decent amount of pain and taking Percocet and like 40 mg of hydrocodone.
You've got a better doc than I had, I was in 10/10 pain for 6 hours after my removal and then averaged 8/10 for the next 4 days because my body was trying to reject the stent and all the cunt prick prescribed was the hydro, and not very much.
>>731339803
Lot more work done on forearms because of compulsive fapping :/
>>731339821
Your story gives me hope that one day I too will be able to resist pissing for 7+ hours.
>>731337005
I'm really high and laughing so hard at that picture!!
>>731339669
>>731339859
>>731339803
85% of my workouts are running, cycling, and marathon edging/fapping.. So I tend to have low upper body weight
However, I'm in much better shape than before
>>731340237
Thank you anon.
Shit genes are shit
>>731340248
Not sure. Hope not. Haven't even tried lol even just shifting slightly hurts like hell.
>>731340270
Like I said, I've been saving them up. My pain killer resistance is high so I have to take large doses too. Got like 6 more percs left and plenty of hydro. I split the hydro and percs in half and haven't been drinking anything but water and eating soup and homemade biscuits. Boyfriend's taking good care of me.
>>731340709
You went from skinny fat to scrawny fat. Nice accomplishment -.-
>>731340871
>My pain killer resistance is high
Mine too. At the hospital, they gave me toradol, more hydro and even morphine and nothing brought my pain down. The only sleep I got was from not being able to stay awake any longer.
>>731340460
So u were waiting on someone to make that exact pun?
:^):^):^):^):^)
Someones lying and im too busy fingering myself to be doing it
:^):^):^):^):^)
>>731341069
Shit dude I'm sorry. Fuck that sucks. They sent me home almost immediately. I'm not sure how I'm gonna work tomorrow. Luckily i have a half desk job so I move around half the time and sit the rest. They know Im having a rough time so I'll probably be sitting at my desk the whole time. Cat looks high af
>>731340991
That wasn't the end of the work my friend
>>731341319
>I'm not sure how I'm gonna work tomorrow
Don't. Take at least a few days off. Trust me. That cat does look high af.
>>731334464
Kek'd
Reminded me of this.
https://youtu.be/WEWG6kSYqlY
>>731341381
Good on you, OP. I'm at the beginning of my journey. Sticking to diet is the hardest part for me.
>>731341414
I would but I can't miss more work. Plus I'll have two days off in a row after tomorrow. Ive used up too much PTO and my i am the only provider right now so I need the money.
>>731341551
That's not me unfortunately. I wish I looked decent. Dunno why my bf stays with me.
>>731334221
Thanks a lot asshole! Brushing my teeth will never be the same again.
>>731339765
Damn it anon. I was hoping I'd be the first one to catch the Kaitlin Olson resemblance.
>>731341551
Not OP, just sidetracked poster
I went strict paleo and it SUCKED for about three weeks. Then one day I was starving, knew I needed a pizza. But I had removed all the shit food from the house. I looked at the apples, steak, chicken,... and I it struck me; if you look at an apple and don't want to eat it then you aren't really hungry. It was easy after having that thought to lean on
>>731342362
shit tattoos give me the shits
>>731342362
Shit, dawg. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the tip.
>>731342639
I need to watch more Rick and morty
Used front facing camera to take this pick so the file size would be lower. Bloody piss. Was worse early but I've only been drinking water for a few hours so it's clearing a little
>>731336640
all the body and corn juices everywhere makes me uncomfortable
>>731342639
Shit, dawg. That makes a lot of sense.
>>731342529
Good thing I got what I wanted without giving a shit what gives you the shits. But hey, if you want to scar your body for other people's approval enjoy the regrets when your goes out if style
anyone else addicted to smelling there dick cheese?
>>731339520
It's cool as much as we like the proof not everyone here demands people post their cocks on /b/
>>731343488
Not me. Bit I like to smell my big toenails after freshly peeling them off
>>731333197
I'm out OP. Glad I could give a little help to a /b/rother in need. Hope I catch your reveal when you slide that stent out and are no longer tube dick
>>731343628
Good to know anon. Anyone got any good Netflix movie recommendations? Just about to finish s shitty horror movie
>>731344525
For sure man. I appreciate the posts. I'll stay on till the thread dies. I'm supposed to pull it Thursday morning, it's central time here so my suggestion is keep an eye out around ten am central on Thursday.
>>731344628
CSA: Confederated States of America
Enjoy
>>731344946
What kinda movie is it? I'm in a suspense/thriller mindset. Not a torture pron fan but I'm willing to consider most things.
>>731335064
>>731345127
>>731345061
Satire.
Synopsise - Documentary about modern day America had the south won the civil war
>>731345249
>>731331385
>>731345336
Sounds interesting,I'll look into it.
>>731345400
>>731345338
Where the Fuck does you see an ifunny water mark you fuck
Couple tard stories for you OP
Tubedick still here?
>>731345894
>>731334560
FUCKING BRYAN YOU AUSSIE LEGEND!!!
Last tard story I have
>>731333945
I thought dirty pillows were the labia majora
>>731345894
Tubdick is here still. Pain killers are wearing off....
>>731345872
>>731345956
>>731346046
>>731346055
>>731346101
>>731346121
>>731346157
Kekd hard. You guys are awesome. Best dick surgery I've ever had. Also the first one ever had.
>>731334336
you do realize those norcos have acetaminophen in them as well right? If you're taking 5s to hit 40mg that's 8 which is roughly 3G of acetaminophen. Still a gram under your daily fuck your liver limit but just be cautious if you've already used some today/or drinking. Nursefag here.
>>731346101
So fucked up to say but why do they have such bad skin? I don't know any tards personally, is the burn victim appearance based on their retardation or are they just cursed with both issues?
>>731346915
Probably from the mass amounts of meds they take and probably have a shit diet cuz their parents let them eat whatever because they'll throw a tard tantrum if they don't get their chicken nuggers
>>731346755
Yeah I know. And nah I took. Less because I'm using the 7.5s first. Mainly just so that I can get through the night. I used to do stupid shit with pills and other stuff (no hard drugs fuck that), so I know enough to do decent research before doing anything. Just wanted to get through tonight with as little pain as possible. Still I'm pretty close to the limit even with the 7.5s. But as long as I fall asleep and don't hurt too much tonight in confident I can make it through the next few days.
>>731334205
wtf
If it makes you feel any better, I had a mechanicking accident and ripped my thumbnail off
Women can shut the fuck up with that child birth shit. There's no fucking way it's more painful than a flathead screwdriver being jammed to the base of your thumbnail
>>731334205
are u trying to rap?
>>731334913
ayy
>>731347540
wtf is Mecha Nicking?
>>731347633
This
>>731347633
mechanicing?
Yeah, that's not in the dictionary either.
Working on an ATV
>>731347540
what about a flat head screw driver trying to kill your dick?
>>731347778
Ok so ^ isn't OP, but I fucking kekd. Sorry >>731347540 gotta say though you made me cringe I saw a girl have that happen at my work, nails torn off makes me almost vomit.
>>731338806
that's pretty sad actually even if it happened to a nigger
>>731347945
Once had a storm window slam on my finger. Nail was dead and started to peel up. Fucking thing stunk like a mother fucker and hurt like a bitch
>>731347832
>>731344946
This would be my dream come true. Pretty wife give birth from bbc.
>>731348176
God dude. Just thinking about that makes my hands ache. Worst thing I had prior to this thing in my dick was I almost sliced my thumb off at work cutting vegetables at my first job. That was fucking awful. But this definitely outranks that. God I can picture how that looked. Fuck.
>>731347478
I'll never get tired of this.
send me the percocet. Now pleses. I need it more than you
>>731331385
how much do you want for them
>>731337410
Go crawl back into your mums pussy and die faggot
>>731348666
A truckload of morphine.
>>731348577
Checked but no. These are mine. Sorry but you'll have to get your own.
>>731348413
Yea glad I haven't had a stint in my pee hole ,yet. But I worked at jimmy johns and they had an onion diced that slammed into cross hatched blades and the manager lined it up real nice and I pulled it up to high one side came off the rail and I slammed two knuckles into the blades up to the bone. Only like 5 stitches. Quit after that she said to wash off the onions and put them out and said I don't need to go to the er. Wanted to drug test as well for workers comp. Definitely wasn't gonna pass.
>>731334724
Got me
>>731347945
Yeah it still makes me cringe every time I look at my nail and think about it
>>731348176
I had a utility trailer fall on my big toe. There was a big black spot under it for months. It finally grew all the way out but that fucker stayed strong right over the new nail growing under it
>>731334205
Most rapid descent into madness I've ever seen
>>731348989
Wait, the new nail was growing under the old fucked up one?
>>731348953
Wouldn't wish this on anyone anon. Honestly the stone pain was worse but this is close. Thank God it'll be over after this heals
>>731349110
Yep, and there was a little ridge behind the black spot
>>731333893
lost
>>731349243
That's fucked. But I'm interested to see how it would look
>>731349655
Damn you Fuck this picture you pc r we're Fuck you :(
>>731347478
He... He cucked a rabbit.
Okay.
That's fine.
>>731332372
He should be on a fucking morphine drip.
That shit feels like pissing boulders.
>>731338806
Damnit, this is a ylyl thread, not a feels...
>>731349922
Stones gone dude.... I would love a morphine drip but I need to be working... No money to my name at all, not gonna be able to pay the hospital. Gotta buy food and shit. Got my cat, my soup, my boyfriend, and a home.
>>731350246
Hopefully soon I won't be tubedick anymore and can walk like normal and sit without wanting to die haha.
>>731348413
>almost sliced my thumb off
>cutting vegetables
yeah this made me cringe
>>731348413
I used to work the meat dept at a grocery store. Standard policy for cutting yourself was superglue and a bandaid and back to work
>>731351240
Yup same at my grocery store lol. That's where it happened. But the knife was brand new and went three quarters through so I had to go to the ER. That was like ten years ago though
>>731351375
Sorry by brand new knife I meant to imply that it was sharp as fuck. Kinda high didn't realize that may not be easy to read into. Didn't even notice I had been cut till I felt the knife catch.
>>731351556
I haven't bought hamburger at a store that grinds their own meat since that job lol
Dave is a stupid niggerfaggot
>>731338806
Poor Julius.
>>731339669
Fucking sit downs
Fucking image limit. New thread pls?
>>731333413
He's probably a kid. There's no such thing as an original kid
>>731353198
I'm in bed , perc is doing its job had to take another. I'll maybe amke a thread tomorrow. Thursday I'm gonna post the stent when I pull it out. Hopefully it'll be gory enough to be noticed. Hopefully I remember. Maybe I should set a reminder
>>731344408
kek
>>731349251
lost
>>731331385
>>>731331385
>I had elbow surgery today so also in pain. Not in the dick though!
>elbow surgery
>not in the dick though
I can just imagine
>yeah, i'd like to get elbow surgery on my dick, doctor
>>731338905
Holy shit is dit mijn gif van vier jaar geleden?!!
>>731338905
more game than me :(
https://youtu.be/qXTmAkJKikI
>>731334913
>60 gorillion jews goyim