Drunk driving thread >tips and tricks >stories >future plans

>>731249197

Tip.1. Don't do it.
Tip.2. Don't do it.
Tip.3. Don't do it.

Amount of people I've known who've known someone who died from a drunk driver. Chance is it'll happen to me or someone close to me too. Not fucking worth it at all

Drink at stoplights and stopsigns, then you're not drinking while drive.

>>731249280
>>731249377
>>>/reddit/
i didn't ask for pussies, i asked for drunk driving tips, tricks, stories, and plans

>>731249197
close one eye
put the hood ornament on the white line
drive

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>>731249197

You're an edgelord so my tip for you is:

kill yourself and try not to take anyone else with you

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>>731249433

I remember when i almost ran someone over driving drunk lmao, as long as your not blacking out drunk should be ez bro

>Fill gas tank with Vodka
>be driving on alcohol
>Blow 0.00 on breathalyzer
problem officer?

>>731249433
Crash and die, you're better off dead

>>731249197
Drive an enduro bike, you can easely run away from a cop over a field. Also, kepp your licence plate on with 1 screw so you can easily detach it.

>>731249533
>>731249589
>>731249707
pussies. grow up

>>731249197

>kill yourself
>one time I accidentally swerved into the other lane and scared another driver into swerving away, causing a deadly accident, haha epic win guys
>suicide

Literally kill yourself. You're worthless.


>>731249433
Seems like a pussy reddit move to complain when people don't feed into your echo chamber and give you reality.

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>>731249280

>>731249428
this

>>731249197
dad got his third dui in his life and he's in a real bad place, so if you're going to do it, then only do it twice
>depending on state
he's in his 50s though and probably got away with doing it 99% of the time, BUT it only takes one mistake to get into a shitload of trouble
>be safe OP

>>731249756
>being so caring and thoughtful to others and lives
fuck off reddit

Don't do it

>>731249748
You in America, shoot yourself maybe? Run a car in a garage maybe? Jump off something big. Fucking loads of ways to end your shitty existence

>>731249816
I don't care about drunk drivers' lives, does that count?

>>731249803
it used to be that the 1st dwi was just a moving violation, like speeding, now it's about $10,000 and a ton of BS. Never been pinched for it just due to dumb luck, really

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>>731249433

haha get a load of this fuckhead

>>731249197
Tip: Get a Tesla, turn on autopilot.

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>>731249839
>actually literally unironically being this triggered

OP is a fucking moron

>>731249917
<3 dumb thread. OP is too pussy to do it anyway

>>731249914
funny that when the topic of self driving cars comes up, having it take you home from the bar is the main reason anyone would want one.

>>731249954
Not wanting to kill yourself isn't "pussy" you colossal retard. It means you enjoy life, and the simpler pleasures, like alcohol, and automobiles.

Drive with your hands at ten and 2.
Stick up thumbs
Line up all the thumbs with road lines

Drive with your hands at ten and 2.
Stick up thumbs
Line up all the thumbs with the road lines

>>731250016
>ten and 2
10 and 2
ten and two

>>731249898
>dumb luck
that's for fucking sure, man
my dad just was in the wrong place at the wrong time
the law also doesn't account for the accident being, potentially, the other persons fault
you still get fucked for being drunk

>>731250033

>autism

post on b & grow a pair of testicballs

dont dink and dive dumy

>>731249377
The stats against drunk driving are stacked against the act of it.
More people drive with alcohol in their system than you think.
And less people over 0.10 drive than you think.

It's something that has been sort of demonized over the years by organizations like MADD and shit.

>>731249197
>future plans
What kind of retarded question is that? Are you asking for vacation plans specifically from drunk drivers? Or if they have any drunk-road-tripping plans in the near future?

I know people with their 3rd conviction, whole lotta money to the govt out your wallet from your back pocket or purses ladies

>>731250033
Whatever, nice trips but suck my dick

>>731250170
The latter. A responsible drunk driver plans out at least some of the trip, that's good for blasting music with the cruise control on while you can use both hands to pour shots carefully.

>>731249724
i just bought a little plate retracter thats connected to a switch on my handle bars. so good when you wonna ride at night and there are speed cameras and shit.

>>731249197
Crash into a wall and fucking die, just make sure you don't kill anyone but yourself tho, because your family will be paying for it.

>>731249197
I got 2 DUIs and must have gotten away with it hella before I got caught. With that said it SUCKS paying for fines/jailtime

>>731249433
How does it feel faggot?
You came in here posting an edgy post thinking everyone will give in and reply what you asked for.
No not one of us is on your side. Wrong board buddy. Take your attention seeking born to loose mentality somewhere else preferably on facebook where youll atleast get some attention

Www-whhat ttfff is up with european roads

my only drunk driving experience was getting pulled over for going 100 mph on the freeway
>never again

>>731249197
I hope all drunk drivers get caught and rot in jail, then, IF they get out, NEVER get to drive again.

>>731250275
>being this much of a pussy
I hope you're a chick.

>>731249197
First off. Best way to not get caught, is to not drive at all. Just take a cab or something.
But, if you find yourself behind the wheel while drunk, you gotta plan a safe route. Stay off free ways and busy roads, never take routes that go under bridges, don't drive slow, drive normal speed, don't hug the lines, use indicators, make sure all your lights work, keep a pack of gum in your car at all times, make sure to eat before hand.
IF you get pulled over, never admit, never tell them where you were coming from, if you do make it your best friends house, significant other, relative, etc.

Just some tips... it's common sense really.

>>731250319
What's the big fucking deal, bitch? This isn't /v/, the "no fun allowed" attitude doesn't fly in real life. wet blanket butthole

>>731250342
Yeah im a chick.
Now how exactly do you want to proceed from "hope youre a chick"?

>>731250275
I'm not taking his side but you sound like a giant faggot too, for the record. It's like someone made a thread about slipping broken glass into their food before eating it. Yeah, that guy is a faggot but going
>This ain't your fuckin glass chewing board, buddy
sounds even more retarded.

step 1 is to hang yourself so you dont kill other people because your a little faggot

You ever hear this song

schoolboy q ft. asap rocky - hands on the wheel

In his lyrics he says:
Meanwhile my nigga drunk as fuck
A nigga fucked up, we all fucked up
You done fucked up, I brought mo' blunts
Smoke back to up, you niggaz know what's up
Too damn high, can't stand myself
I love drunk drivin, man I'm something else'

Why schoolboy q Y?

>>731250392
Hahahahahaha! A drunk driver cut us off when I was a child. My Dad was so furious at his recklessness that he stopped the car, grabbed a pry bar and placed it beside himself and followed the drunkard. Drunkard proceeded to wrap himself and his car around the trunk of a huge tree. We all cheered.

>>731249197

>1. Have a completely valid auto
>(Cop saw me leave bar, I drove perfect, but turned out I had a bad tail light.)
>2a. Drink close to home so it's a short drive through residential streets
>2b. Don't drink at obvious places like downtown sports bars, titty bars, etc.
>3. Leave well before bar closing time, cops not on the lookout so much.
>4. Don't live in a district with DUI checkpoints.
>5. Don't make ANY driving mistakes, obviously.
>(Cops have formulas that they use to estimate drunk driving: cross right stripe=30%, cross left stripe=70%, etc)

If you get pulled over:
>Don't admit to anything obviously
>call a lawyer
>delay, delay, talk, delay, use time to have body break down alcohol
>at station, go to bathroom, throw up, delay, delay delay
>(There was about 90 mins between when I left the bar and when I actually blew, and I could have added an hour to that probably.)
>related - don't drink so much that you can't get back to below DUI threshold after 2 hour delay

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>>731250694
Was it this type of tree??

Walk you lazy fuck.

Unless in Russia or eastern European then fuck it. When in rome

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>>731249433

>>731250730
I live in a pretty large city but I've never once seen any sort of DUI checkpoints set up anywhere around. Where do you gotta live for that to be a thing? Just curious.

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>>731249197
Crash into a tree and die.
Only harming yourself.

Drunk drivers are assholes, but premeditated drunk drivers should just be killed.

>>731250896

I think it's a state-by-state thing.
Here in Oregon we don't have them,
but they had them in Hawaii where I lived before
and I think they have them in New Mexico.

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Whoa shit

>>731250730
>>at station, go to bathroom, throw up, delay, delay delay
>>(There was about 90 mins between when I left the bar and when I actually blew, and I could have added an hour to that probably.)

>things that didn't happen

cop's don't let you go to the fucking bathroom in a station

To those saying fuck off back to redit, are you even of legal age to drive?
Fucking kids trying to be edgy

>>731250955
And someone who is sober eating a sandwich, texting, or doing their makeup is not worse?

HMmm

>>731249197
I'm depressed and a tad drunkbecause I just drank a 1/6 of a bottle of mouthwasjh, but I'm not goinfg to try and drive because I'm not a fucking retard.

BTW, to everyone saying "I hope you die blah blah blah",

Yeah, someone shouldn't be driving at 0.15.
The 0.10 level is borderline,
but 0.08 is just ridiculous.
Lots of people can handle that level just fine,
it's in place to keep the MADD bitches happy.

Go figure out how low 0.08 really is before you start bitching at people.

>>731251053
Throwing up also doesn't help you pass a fucking breathalyzer either.

I did it a lot when I was younger.
Had a lot of close calls and 2 DWIs.

If your going to do it.. Have no regrets.
You may wake up in a jail cell for manslaughter.
Nothing good will come from it though, I'll tell you that much.

>>731251074
Eating is still not recommended but it isn't on the same level because you don't need to avert your eyes from the road.

People who text or do their make-up and drive are just as stupid ifnot a bit les than drunkards.

>>731251100
Don't drive like that good man and dont drink mouthwash bad man

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>>731249197

>>731251053
>cop's don't let you go to the fucking bathroom in a station

My cop absolutely asked if I need to go to the john. Probably because I wasn't acting like an asshole.

>>731251154
>Throwing up also doesn't help you pass a fucking breathalyzer either.

It helps if you're using the delay delay tactic and still have alcohol in your system

noobs

Ban beer altogether .it tastes like shit anyway ay

Drink enough to forget where you're going ... Then you'll pull over and question yourself. You'll have gaps in cops. Also since about 15 miles drunk tonight. (Have to close one eye to type this)

>>731251386
>still have alcohol in your system

What I mean is, if you still have alcohol in your STOMACH.

>>731249776
That's not even a reddit tier answer. Knock that shit off fuck face. Just because you're retarded doesn't mean you need to defend your terrible decisions under the guise manliness.

>>731249197
Used to dui reguarly. got busted with 1.08 years back. Was charged and they wanted 4k and 12 months no lic, but won in court, ruled misdemeanor instead of criminal offense. 400 EUR and 3 months w/o lic. Don't drink and drive since.

Only time I've ever driven drunk is on private property and in off-peak season on beach 4x4 tracks, nothing like sinking a few tins of beer while bouncing around in the sand.

>>731251386
kill yourself retard. why do you feel the need to make up autistic stories?

Waze. See where the cops are before they see you.

>>731251386
I don't know where the fuck you live but I'm glad the police in my area aren't total fucktards like that. If this legitimately happens to you, I suggest you go on a rape, robbery and pillaging spree because they obviously can't even do the basics of their job functions.

>>731249816
Your argument is void, I want you to die

>>731250730

This is me again with more info.

Part of my DUI diversion plan was mandatory attendance at group alcohol abuse classes.
Not AA, but actual state-authorized regular classes where they drug test you, etc.
When you're there, you hear about the details of everyone else's DUIs.
You then learn how bullshit a lot of the system is, and cops too.
75% of the people there deserved their DUI - drunk people blowing 0.15+ and being pulled over for weaving over the road.

But the other 25% of the people were really getting screwed.
>people who blew just 0.08 and had the full system thrown at them
>people who were driving, realized they were too drunk, and pulled over to sleep, but then were busted by cops in a parked car
>people riding bicycles
>etc

>>731250215
Trips? Where?

>>731251249
see > >>731250145

>>731250730
copfag here. I haven't heard of formulas, I'm not sure what state you're in.

Guys seriously these laws change a ton state by state. I've arrested tons of DUI's (mostly crashes) every horrible wreck I've ever seen was a DUI crash.

My rule of thumb with crashes is: If it makes you say "that shit don't even look right" odds are they're drunk.

>>731249197
protip: go kill yourself before you kill somebody else

>>731249197
>moving
>drinking with friend a few days before leaving
>in the mission district, SF
>make a lot of friends that night, but anyway
>wasted, to the point where I cant eat nachos at 3am
>but I can drive
>get in with my buddy and hit that road
>get lost, shit
>roll window down to keep cool, keep stereo down to seem normal
>find highway
>speed limit is too slow for 4am in NorCal
>kick it to 75, stay a lane away from everyone else
>get passed by a ton of people, and a Cop
>see cop spotting traffic, slow down
>around the bend are three cops pulling everyone over, but not me, cause my drunk ass knows a trap when I see one
>get to exit, God Bless Pacifica
>semi-legally park and pass out at buddies house

>>731251759
You still shouldn't drive under any intoxication, including marijuana.

But this thread is specifically about driving DRUNK.

I'm actually a better driver while drunk. I could out-drive you and pass any driving test, while drunk, even if you're sober. Being inebriated makes it almost a game, taking something boring and seeing how well you can do by handicapping yourself. Really fun
It's about practice, and lots of it.

>>731251100
>drinking mouthwash
>not a fucking retard

>>731251828
Was busted for DUI few years back,

Had to do a course about alcohol awareness, there was I think 20 some odd of us there.

We all shared our stories, out of all of us there, non of us got into an accident, we were all pulled over for some other infraction, or admitted to guilt and failed the breath test....

Just my experience. Again, the stats are stacked against the act of drunk driving.

If you've had more than 4 drinks/beers in 2 hours odds are you're above .08. In that case refuse the breathalyzer and any field sobriety tests. They only do that to get more evidence against you. Refusing a breathalyzer comes with its own set of ramifications but without field sobriety tests or breathalyzer results they don't have any evidence to charge you with DUI. Best to just plan ahead and use uber or something.

>>731251801

I dated a DUI prosecutor in Hawaii back in the 90s.
The formula they used went something like this:
a driver who:
>crosses the right line once - 30% chance drunk
>crosses the left line once - 50% chance drunk
>weaves across both lines - 70% chance drunk
>multiple violations - take the worst violation, and add 10% for every other violation

They used it in court when someone would challenge why they were pulled over:
>cop: "by our formula, there was an 80% chance they were drunk, so we had the right"

>>731251702
I lived in a car for like 8 months, only ever even talked to a cop once. Are these people literally just pulling over on the highway emergency vehicle lanes or something? Or in other equally retarded obvious places?

Fuck off. OP is faggot as usual.

protip: Stop endangering your life, others and expensive property

We might be autists here, but were not retards.

>>731251978
>Refusing a breathalyzer comes with its own set of ramifications

In my state, merely refusing a breathalyzer gives you almost the same number of penalties as actually getting a DUI.
And since diversion programs soften the penalties for 1st time offenders,
it's better to go through the system than to flat out refuse and be guaranteed to lose for a year, etc.

>>731251975
The drunks that hit shit aren't always able to come to classes afterwards. Killing someone is usually prison,and killing themselves will also keep them from attending

>>731252017
Friend of mines Dad was sleeping one off in the bar parking lot. A cop woke him up and said he couldn't sleep there. As soon as he pulled out the cop pulled him over and Busted.

>>731252008
never heard that. In my state we could technically pull for any of those. It's a cheesy stop but its legal. DUI laws in the last 10 years have become so super harsh. Unless you have an outstanding lawyer you're fucked.

>>731251975
But think about it, you're controlling a 5000 pound metal death machine at speeds generally around 90km/h.
Do you not think it's important to maybe take any precautions you can to keep yourself and others safe?

>>731249197
Drove drunk once, back in my younger days when still living at home.

Polished off a couple bottles of scotch at a buddy's one Friday night then slept for about 2 hours. Woke up thinking I was late for work so I jumped in the car (had borrowed mum's car) and headed out to work. Got there, realised it was Saturday, drove home again.

No idea how or when but I broke a headlight and ripped off the back quarter panel. Whatever I hit, I hit it hard enough to buckle the back wheel.

Never driven that drunk again. Miracle I made it home without killing some fucker.

>>731252008
It makes sense. Someone swerving who has a history of DUI's might be drunk

>>731251848
I honestly think you either aren't that drunk or just think you're good because you're drunk

>>731252221
Dick move, but yeah that's an obvious place to look so I'm entirely unsurprised. Just park in a 24 hour store's parking lot, like a Wal-Mart or something, where a vehicle sitting overnight really isn't noticeable since cars are coming and going all day and night. Course you still gotta drunk drive to get there I guess but the point is, sleeping in a vehicle is easy to get away with unless you happen to also be retarded or something.

Just get a powerful or a offroad car. When I was a young lad I evaded the police ~10 times.
That one time I stopped believing that I was sober (10 hours after heavy drinking) I got busted and license suspended.

EU cops are pussies and easy to evade.

>>731252008

Me again.

The most fun thing about dating the DUI prosecutor was that I could help train the new cops
>cops call to ask your favorite alcohol
>cops come and pick you up at your house
>drive you to the station
>sit around with other test subjects getting buzzed/drunk to whatever your comfort level is
>go into another room and newbie cops walk you through analysis
>they estimate your alcohol % number
>blow into the Intoxolizer 5000
>get a printed receipt of your number
>cops get to see how close they estimated
>cops drive you back home

Since my gf and I also drank together weekly, she would go through the sobriety tests on me knowing what I'd had to drink, for her own practice.

>>731251848
Giving yourself a handicap might kill someone else. Also you're just more relaxed drunk, so you feel calmer. You're more likely to miss important shit because your head isn't right.

>>731251801
DUI Defense lawyer here: look at NHTSA vehicle in motion detection clues (in the Sfst manual)

Also general advice: don't do field tests (designed to fail no matter what big govt says).... if you don't take breath test (most states) you'll loose your license a lot longer than if you blow, but don't do roadside tests, your lawyer may have some things to work with then.... you drunk fuck

>>731249479
that is actually a solid tip.

Bunch of pussies

>>731252703
Do you try at your job when you know they're guilty?

>>731252964
Otherwise he wouldn't make any money, innit

>>731252868
I feel the same way about drunk drivers too anon

>>731253022
He probably would though

>>731252211
Ok. And what about people that get into accidents all the time that aren't drunk?

It's a cash cow to be honest.
People who drive hammered are rather rare. People who drive with alcohol in their system isnt. But you get fucked over because of it.
>>731252328
Then why drive at all?

>>731249197
KYS

>>731249748
KYS

>>731249433
You are literally cancer

>>731253137
Human error happens because we are human. Add alcohol to us and our precision drops further. Driving is dangerous enough without humans being inebriated.

>>731253342
>Driving is dangerous enough

Bitch, please.

>>731252964
If there are grounds to suppress stop for constitutional violation, bad admin of stats etc, absolutely. Got one dismissed about 3 weeks ago bc it was a license plate light out and odor of alcohol, sfsts were pretty good for client.

(Not illegal to drink and drive in most states, illegal to be "impaired", or above .08, except Utah and Colorado have .05 levels)

>>731249197
where i come from people like you get beat up by peers

>>731253572
Here too.

the amount of butthurt faggots in this thread lmao

>>731253836
Yeah.
Tell dudes they'res fucksticks for driving drunk and they get all shitty about it.

I personally don't get drunk and drive, but I will get really damned buzzed. Its not like I do it before hand either. I will run into the liquor store and grab a few ill guys, thorn add them to my soda when I get back to the car. I usually drive around the back of a supermarket to pour them in and then dispose of the little bottles. Then I enjoy my beverage and just drive around. Its practice practice practice, the only shifty thing about it is when I do go out with people everyone expects me to drive no matter how much I have had cause I have the most experience.

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>>731249197
When I drive while impaired, first, I never drive while completely housed, take an hour or two (or three) to sober up, better than a year or three in the pen.
Second, clear the cockpit of any open containers, especially the ones visible to the 5-0.
Third, do 2 to 6 mph over the speed limit. on the money is too obvious, under is just as bad as speeding.
Fourth, realize that your vehicle is not wider than the lane, if you keep the left front wheel within 6 inches of the left line of the lane your occupying your driving perfectly center with the lane (give or take).
Fifth and lastly, if you see cops, don't look at them, make eye contact, or freak out. Put on your cool face.

>1 dui over 10 years ago, not another since. Not even an arrest, or ticket.

Summary: USE YOUR BRAIN. THINK PRACTICALLY. UTILIZE PROPER JUDGEMENT.

>>731254240
This, walk, or get a fuckin cab.
Phone a friend or your mom if it's an option.

>>731249280
>be me
>4 tabs deep
>drivin home
>peaking
>brake light comes on
>"but is it real!!!!"

1+2=4

Don't do this was caught in september 15 get my lisensce back end of june cost me about 4,000 altogether lost the respect of friends and family which was hard to gain back.

>>731254240
Just drive better, man. Practice. Start at one beer or one shot and work your way up.

Me and my GF were in seaside and it was 3 in the morning and we decided to order dominos and drive to pick it up. Earlier that night we took shots and finished the bottle. I was drunk and we were driving for a while. It was so fun because I still can't remember how we even decided that it was a good idea.

I did this about 5 years. Fucking Cops catch me and I had to go to Courthouse. They took my driving license for 2 years. It was in 2012 but since 2014 I didn`t make exam. I made about 50.000 kms without driving license since 2012. When they catch me I had about 1,8 ‰ of alcohol.

I only drive when I'm drunk if I'm going home from a familiar house/bar. If I've driven the route a dozen times before then my brain sorta auto-pilots me back home safely.

>>731256591
This

>>731251100
are you sure its depression and not just you being fucking retarded

>>731249433
I thought I no longer could feel emotion. Today I felt disgust and hatred for the first time in so long. Kill yourself

>>731250215
Nigger are you blind?