Feels thread It's been too long /b/ro's.

>>731092830
my anger issues have led the greatest person i've ever dated to reconsider ever having dated me. every time my phone vibrates I hope it's her. . . it isn't.

>>731092830
Just blew my fucking chances again beacause I got too drunk and started with the racist /dark humor again. Fuck me she was hot too.

>>731093331
Tell me more.

The one person I've properly dated I thought I'd marry. I suppose it's probably naivety but having been alone since then I don't like to think that's what could have been.

Anyone have that greentext about falling asleep with a girl in your arms while it's cold outside. Can't remember much else.
The feels in me needs that.

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More like "Cringe Thread", AMIRITE?!?

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>>731093588
Just checked and I'm afraid not. I'll keep posting though seeing as I've gained interest.

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Let's hope this thread lives longer than the last one.

Dumping Elisa's story, get ready for the feels

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>>731094144

>>731093584
I've always been somewhat of a hot head
She's been afraid I'd do something more than just toss my glasses on the ground
>been dating over a year
>had several arguments that led to me holding her arms so she doesn't try to walk away
>argument happens over jealous shit
>anything I say was wrong to her
>get frustrated
>in her car, passenger side
>kick at her windshield
>shatters
>fuck.jpg
>tell her I'll pay for damages
>she went home that night
she usually stays weekend nights at my place
ended up telling me it's something she has to think about if we'll keep dating
>waiting for her to decide
>every time she's with me she tells me we will fix it
>every time she's home she tells me she's not so sure
>get fed up
>tell her she has to make up her mind because I get depressed each and every time she says we can't after having said we can work things out
>tells me she can't decide
>tell her I won't talk to her until she does
>go 2 days without talking to her
>worst 2 days of my fucking life
now I'm waiting. . . just fucking waiting. . .

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>>731094206

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>>731094329

>>731093681
Your reply could be top quality in a cringe thread, fag

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>>731094370

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Thanks anons for keeping this going

>>731094382
Lick my butt hole you faggot and buy me a #8 from taco bell after YOU BITCH

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>>731094221
Truth be told if it's at the point that you're shattering her windshield from it, then it's probably something you need to look into about yourself. Take it from me, if it's something that you can fix, then do it, otherwise you're like to regret it.

>>731094724
I enjoyed this comeback. Bravo.

>>731094724
Yeah, i bet you'd love to get your asshole licked whilst later being compensated by a #8 meal at taco bell later, wouldn't you anon? FUCKING FAG

>>731094939
i'm definitely wanting to fix it.
with or without her.
but i'd rather it be with her.

>be me
> mom has brain cancer
> got to the point where she can't take care of her self
> I help when I'm not at work
> have a house full of aunt, cousin, step siblings, my two bros, and step dad
> step dad losing his mind worrying about my mom
> I'm in the room when he's at work, and go to bed when he get back
> he takes it as me not doing anything
> aunt does nothing but gossip
> family is falling apart
> one day stepdad comes home with trash bags
> tells me to get out
> me and my older brother get apartment
> had to leave little brother and my mom
> hurts
> mom gets moved to a nursing home
> I visit her, but she's sleep
> I change the channel to HGTV
> Her favorite
> watch it for an hour or two
> kiss her forehead and leave
> work at grocery store
> live at least 30 min away
> no car
> go for a week or two not being able to see my mom
> too broke to get an Uber
> older brother works too much
> get news that cancerous tumors have covered her brain almost entirely
> call in sick on Saturday
> me and older brother go to see her
> she's sleep again
> I kiss her on the forehead
> tell her I love her
> sit and wait for a bit watching HGTV again.
> leave
> just want to see her the way she was

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>>731095257
Aye, if you are determined to fix it and show her that you are trying to, I don't doubt that she'll stay with you for it.

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keep it bumped

>>731094421
we asked for feels not suicidal tendencies fuck anon

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>>731097257
Sometimes they're one and the same.

This is one of the biggest things for me that tells me /b/ isn't what it used to be; we all used to be in this boat together. Hundreds of anons who'd been to the shitter through life. Now it seems that we've been flooded with fucking underage faggots who have lived their ez mode <16 lives. Threads like this don't go as far as we'd used to expect and I imagine that's because when you're young you don't get shit like this. Well please enjoy, because in 5-10 years time you'll be filling these threads like we are.

>>731096391
thanks /b/ro

>>731093095
cringe worthy

>>731099001
holy shit

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bump

>>731099585
This one.......it got me good.

>date girl for two years
>absolutely the love of my life
>best friend as well
>all of a sudden she decides to tell me that she's an inactive Jehovah's Witness
>says she's getting back into the religion and being active again
>which means we can't date because I'm not (or not willing to be) a Witness
>but we can be friends which was a relief because she was my best friend as well
>we talk for a few months as best friends
>she starts to talk about other guys
>talks about her ex
>all while telling me she still loves me and talking to me daily
>bums me the fuck out because none of the guys she talked about were witnesses but she was okay with it
>decides to tell me that she never loved me
>that she just wants to forget these past two years
>that she doesn't want to talk anymore
>surprisingly let her go and feel a huge burden lifted

I still am in love with her but holy fuck it feels so good not talking for some reason. I feel like I can really move forward in my life now.

Love does really fucking weird things to you /b/. I was cutting class just to hang with her and I even quit my job to spend more time with her. I've been keeping afloat financially thanks to savings but holy shit I can't believe I was so dumb.

I know this really isn't feels anymore but it made me feel like absolute shit for the few months after we broke up so it counts. Now I'm just coolin and listening to cashmere cat.

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>>731092830
bumping for the homie reno

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bumping (OP)
Also currently being fb message by this lass who I've been interested in for a long time but never had the balls to say anything, who is currently telling me about the guy who is 'neglecting' her.

>>731102297
Don't fall for it my dude. Chances are she knows you're interested in her and just wants you tu boost her self esteem.

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I had a heart attack 2 months ago. Not from fat or cholesterol or smoking...but from a blood clot. I was lucky and got immediate care when the heart attack hit.
The next day when my wife came to visit me in the hospital, I thought she would hug me and cry and we would both promise to be good to each other etc.
But the wasn't anything like that.
No conciliatory gesture, no weeping because we almost lost each other.
I think she wishes I hadnt made it...that I died instead.

Well, I just had a fucked up thing happen today. Still kinda shaken up a bit. I was doing good for quite a while, I didn't fucking need this shit.

So, I had to call my ISP to schedule a service call. Service rep picks up. 'Hi, this is Sarah, how can I help you today?".

I know that fucking voice.

My ex's name is Sarah.

God fucking dammit. It's her. Has to be her. She has my info too. Has to know it's me.

I was just super polite, didn't let on that I knew, she didn't say anything either. Just booked my appointment, businesslike as you can be. Wished me a good day, I wished the same to her, and hung up.

I've been thinking about this shit all day. It was her, I know it was her. We broke up 4 years ago, she was my most serious relationship to date and it was not a good breakup. I'd finally gotten over her, barely think about her anymore, been pretty happy these days.

I really, really didn't need to hear her voice again.

Fuck.

The next few days are gonna be rough.

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Despite my best efforts and moderately-high education, I'm starting to think I'm simply unhireable and seriously considering offing myself if I don't find work soon. I'm already planning how I'd do it and avoid being found.

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yesterday was my birthday and i wanted to do a little experiment, so i hide my birthday on facebook and didn't told any of my "friends" to see if anybody would remember it

result: i didn't recieve a single happy birthday (apart from my family)

still, it was a great day, didn't have to bother answering to anyone's messages or having to give a piece of my cake

it feels good to know who i can realy count with

>>731104796
Depending on your field of work (and probably your age too) getting higher education (a university degree at least) can make a huge difference on how employable you are.

What kind of job are you aiming for?

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>>731105156
I've felt that before

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Help me /b/ros. I sincerely have been thinking about killing myself.

I haven't been happy in a long while. I don't remember the last time I truly felt happy. Its not that I have been depressed or sad, its just that if I'm not happy what is there? Either that, or I am depressed and I'm just in total denial.

I'm currently going to university for a degree in pharmacy, I got busted with drugs in my car just a night ago and got fined $800 for it, I've been doing drugs to escape from reality because it doesn't make me happy.

The time I spend with family doesn't encourage me, it just reminds me that I'm nothing but a colossal fuck up.

I work part time at a deli to pay for school, its been shit, It pays well but it doesn't make me happy.

There's this girl I've been interested in, and we've started talking more, and she's single, but nothings coming of it and I'm not happy.

My friends are the only ones who I can (without drugs at least) escape reality and just enjoy life. There's not stress no rush no nothing. Even when getting busted by the police with those drugs recently I was with a friend and we got through it together.

I'm stressing out about finals, there are huge mistakes to be made and I don't want to make them. I've been getting just passing grades in everything, but a bad final could make me retake the class.

I still live with my parents, I do it to save money on expenses, but I don't want to turn to them for help because I'll just be a disappointment.

God, everywhere I look, I'm just a fucking disappointment. To myself to my family, to friends to employers, and fellow employees, to the average Joe, I'm just a failure. A waste of human space, I feel like I'm wasting my life, I'm not happy, in spite of everything I do. Sometimes I just want to go back and have it be like it was when I was 4. Not a care in the world, just enjoying life as a little kid.

I don't want to die, but I don't want to keep living. Its raining and I'm crying.

>>731105156
I did this during my freshman year of college. I became close (so I thought) to a group of probably 15-20 people. Every single person in my friend group would wish each other a happy birthday even when their birthdays weren't listed on social media.

My birthday rolled around and I didn't get a single happy birthday from any of them. Who did I get them from? Parents, little cousins, family members. I did some serious thinking after that.

Ultimately, I transferred universities to one way closer to home (from 12 hours away to 45 minutes away). The school is just as good so I didn't compromise my education, I just wanted to leave the nest so badly that I decided to pick a far away school.

When my little cousins heard the news of me moving back they cried because they were so happy. My parents were completely supportive and I lived with them for a year or so after that.

Since then I've been significantly happier. I see my parents and have dinner with them at least once a week, usually more. I've made really good friends since then, some nerdier ones who share my hobby of playing video games, others are "normies" who I can go to clubs with and also share my fashion hobby. I'm on the verge of dating a girl who is way out of my league. No more thoughts of suicide.

Completely leaving the nest just wasn't for me, I guess. I had way too good of a home life to just abandon it.

>>731094144
Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I don't know how many times this is reposted in these kind of threads but I had never read this before. This just broke me. It broke me to realize how selfish I've been for even thinking someone wouldn't get or for avoiding a girl who has been nothing but good to me. Thank you anon for posting this and thanks to that Elisa anon wherever you are I hope you found peace.

>>731092830
The worst feeling is being bored to tears.

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>>731105698
Any, at this point. I've already been rejected by the JET 2x (teaching English in Japan), and even just local, regular jobs are BS'ing me. Ofc, my parents are constantly disappointed that I can't be the soldier they wish they had for a son.

>>731107021
Why did they reject in the first place?

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>>731106151
I kinda feel the same, specially the part about feeling like a disappointment to my family. My parents are so proud of me and I still feel I don't deserve it. But deep inside I know I shouldn't feel like this, and neither should you.

I too am working and studying at the same time and its hard as fuck to find the time to do both and yet I managed to keep it up relatively good. I'm not that intelligent nor hardworking (in fact I'm a lazy fuck and that's part of why I feel so bad), but I'm passing everything even if my grades are not so good.

The point is even though things could be better I know I'm not doing that bad, but I still feel like shit for no reason. And i guess the same happens to you. You're doing it much better than you think even if you don't realize it.

Have a dragon loli to cheer you up.

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>>731107374
That's the thing: they never say why. NEVER. The first time, I didn't even make it to the interview portion, though that was O-K because it turned out that I had about a year left in school anyway (school itself messed up my credits and a class was cancelled at the last minute). The second, and most recent time though, I had gone through all the steps, had more marketability (volunteer work, internship, etc), did the interview portion, and...after a month of waiting on results, rejected on the last day of March. They didn't even put my name on the rejection letter. Been struggling to find the motivation to continue studying Japanese all of April.

>>731093427
fucking rip, bless you

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>>731094421
Holy fuck. That fucking story. I... fuuuuucckk

I'm saving this.

>>731103699
WHy do you think that?

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>>731107603
Thank you anon, it may not seem like much (just a guy typing over the internet and such), but that was so simple it made me a bit happier. I know what you mean, and I think we share the same story.

But I just find it so hard. I feel undeserving.

I guess have a psychedelic space duck for your troubles.

>>731103699
Or maybe she was just too strong to show any emotion. Some people won't fall in tears for you. instead, they'll be there, solid, so that you can rely on them

>>731105156
You're more than just a date of the year. It doesn't mean that people don't remember your birthday that they don't care about you.

Im never good enough for anything. Not good enough for a good career, not good enough for a gf, not good enough for anything. I'll never amountto anything /b/

>>731096487
Fuck, I remember this one.

>>731107621
I happen to be interested in Japan too and as far as I know it's quite hard to get a job there. Don't give up because of that Anon.

If you already learned Japanese you can always try to teach as a freelance. That kind of job might be nice.

>>731108667
You were good enough to survive up to this point

>>731109248
Does it matter on the field, or overall just hard?

>>731108270
Glad I could help, Anon. Keep it up!

>>731109357
Is that really an achievement anon?

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>>731109248
Honestly....I don't even know why I'm bothering to continue. By this and a number of other ways, Japan has proven that they really just don't want me there, no matter how much I might want to be there. I try to look passed the politics surrounding Japan that would make anyone else turn away from it (declining population, automation of jobs at an exceeded rate, rising costs of living without matching wages, etc), but I find it harder and harder to do by the day. I think, since it's now May 1st, I'll just stop entirely and do something else with my life. Might be ending it soon anyway.

Doesn't help that my "friends and family" have been progressively diminishing from my life over the last few years. They don't even check if I'm still alive, and when they find out I am, they offer nothing but criticism. I really hate how some of my former 'friends' are now living the dream in Japan instead of me, despite putting in significantly less effort to do so.

>>731109517
For what I know the thing is that Japan only wants prepared people. You know, people with no less that a bachelor degree.

Besides that I guess the field influences in the amount of jobs offered and the amount of people applying for those jobs. There are many more English teachers than aerospace engineers, for example.

>>731109930
If living in Japan is your dream don't give it up. I don't know how many people apply for JET (see my other post >>731110035 ), but being rejected a couple of times does not mean anything at all.

Keep trying, Anon.

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>>731110849
Thinking about it, it might be because I'm significantly older than a lot of applicants....

>>731109890
Yes it is.
Every day, every night for your whole life you've had the choice. Every single day, and that my friend is not something everyone can claim to have chosen.

>>731111134
How old are the typical ones?

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>>731111203
I'm 28, and many of the applicants seem to be right-out-of-college-age...around 21 or so. But, I'm older because I had to go through a lot to get to where I am today (couldn't even start college until I was 21), and I'd think being older would mean having a greater sense of responsibility to them.

>>731092830
I can't tell if my feels are legit. I just feel forsaken
>Be me, top 5 students of class in high school and have sacrificed friends, partying, drinking, smoking, dating for the most part just to go to a great school
>Get rejected by all the ones I want to go to, and am stuck at the closes one to home were my dad won't stop coming over to control me
>All my friends went to ivy league schools. i'm the only one that didnt, and I was smarter then them
>Im now stuck with the drinking douchebags who dont care at all about school

I should just kill myself I'm not gong to deal with the dishonor

>>731111451
To teach in Japan do you require a English Bachelors? or do they take any kind of Bachelors

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>>731111979
Any kind of bachelors. I have two (though they aren't STEM because I wasn't smart enough and was mislead on the whole college-meme).

I don't know what I'm doing wrong /b/ros.

No woman likes a manlet. Worst of all, no woman likes an Asian manlet. Or an ugly Asian manlet.
I'm taller on the Asian spectrum (5'8"), but I look like a dwarf compared to my white friends.
I lift and work out every other day. I have a fairly good looking body, but I'm quite ugly. I am very skilled at the guitar, but no one knows except me.

Every woman looks at me with disgust.

>>731111134
>>731111451
Well, that might certainly be a problem. I've heard after 30/35 it gets significantly harder to get employed in Japan. You still have a few years of margin, I guess.

It might be easier to get a job searching directly in the country, but you would need to go as a tourist and find someone willing to hire you so that you can get a working visa.

Also I recently learned about something called Working Holiday Visa. You can only get it if you are a citizen of certain countries and it allows you to stay a year in Japan with working permission. The age limit is 25/30 depending on the country so you might still be able to get it if your country is in the list.

If all other options fail, you can always go as a tourist and get married to a Japanese woman. It seems to be a common practice among foreigners due to Japan being so strict on immigration.

I'm just listing things I've learned from people on the internet who live in Japan so nothing of this comes from experience, but I'm leaving it here in case it can help.

>>731094421
I'd like to think I'm a tough motherfucker.

But I'll be damned if I'm not crying manly tears right now.

>>731112101
What made you so interested in the first place? What makes it worth going there to teach?

>work 12 hours a day 6 days a week
>Sunday I sit at home all day
>been doing this since I was 18
>still live with my parents at 22 but they don't care since I leave before they do and I don't get home until they go to bed
>have a fat bank account
>nothing to spend it on
>gotta move out eventually

what is the fucking point? I just want to die already

Pretty minor feel compared to the other anons but girls don't want to hang out with me (everytime I ask someone they always have an excuse, FYI I'm not a creep, we are friends) and I never get invited to parties even if its my best friend hosting. I don't think I'm a bad person so I'm confused as to why.

>>731094421
Fucking Christ that hurt.

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>>731112467
I hadn't thought/heard of that visa part (thanks "friends" for not telling me shit AGAIN), so I'll look into that. As for the marriage thing, I'm pretty much repulsive to women, apparently; I haven't had a gf since 2005, and my apparent sexual market value is around -3. Women don't like me for whatever reason, despite being in-shape and educated.

>>731112524
I've seriously been into Japanese culture my whole life, long before it was mainstream or anyone really cared about it or its cultures (both popular and traditional). Even as a baby, I liked watching Asian shows, but it wasn't until about the 2nd Grade that I learned what Japan is and wanted to know more about it (mostly through anime and vidya games). Teaching was just something I realized I could possibly do about halfway through my college career (which was going nowhere).

>>731103699
surprise or not, you can figure out what happened
>surprise shes a whore
>no-surprise, your boring

>>731094421
Please be fake.

>>731112101
Which two? Might there be a chance of getting a job related to them aside from teaching?

>>731112911
Who knows, maybe as a foreigner you can get some extra attractiveness points.

I think about suicide all the time. I cant go for more than 5 minutes. I woke up this morning and almost finally did it. I haven't felt happy in 3 years. Can't feel love for my family or anyone else. I want to love again but I can't. I drown it in alcohol. Every time I ask for help I regret it. People freak out. Leave. Call the cops on me so they can throw me in another mental institution where I'll leave worse than when I went in. I want to die and I always do. I hate myself for not having the balls to do it. I'm thinking of writing my note tonight. It's harder than I thought.

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>>731113587
Political Science and Asian Studies. I'm conversational in Japanese, though I don't even see the point (and I failed JLPT N3 last year).

>also
Believe me, there are no extra points for guys like me.

Anons, why does life suck? Ever since I was 13, I realized how shit life was. I was always a background character, and even when somebody talked to me, they'd usually get weirded out and walk away from me. I have always just sorta been there, and had the personality of a robot. The only thing I had going for me was having good grades, and even then, I fell like everyone is just telling me that to make me feel better. I have been snubbed out of any and all help by my little sister, who was always my parents favorite. Basically, whenever something bad happened to me, my little sister came and did something to get my mom and dad's attention, and boom, noone cared about what I had to say or show. When I became 16, litteraly noone cared about me. My mom and dad never payed attention to me, my brother left for college, and shit was going downhill. I had been forced to play drums for a great while as well, so time for things I liked doing was getting short. At college, I had pursed computer science and was having a good year, but then I realized how lonely I was, and how I had no friends, and when I finally found someone who was happy with who I was and was a friend, she gets completely out of contact with me, and my bastard "friend" marries her, and leave me with noone to talk to when everything gets bleak. Oh, and about my brother, he absolutely hates me for how I act, calling me irrational, and telling me of how much of a pussy I am. Sorry if these seem like first world problems, but I just need some advice on how to take things from here Anons.

I remember there was this autistic kid in my class that nobody would talk to. We got along cause we both made fun of the teacher. He'd get teased for drawing minecraft characters but I'd always tell him they were awesome and that one day we'd make a server together. His birthday comes and he hands me a minecraft style invitation that says he's throwing a party at chuck e cheese. I seriously thought about not going but I ended up going anyway. I was the only person besides his mom there. His mom thanked me for being his first friend and that he wouldn't stop talking about me. We ate pizza and played games. I gave him 20 bucks and went on my way. Actually had a blast. The following school day he was sitting at his usual seat with a huge grin. He had bought me and himself matching minecraft Keychain a drew me a minecraft skin. We talked the rest of the period about how we'd make a huge house in our server(when we make one). The weekend comes and my mom Wakes me up with a face I've seen only once. She tells me that my friend had died along with his mother in a car accident and that his funeral was the upcoming week. Later found out through his dad that he was on his way to best buy to find a good laptop to play minecraft.

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>>731113943
I wish I knew....

This is what keeps me going.

Behind all the bullshit, trap threads, forced memes about Andy Sixx's poop, furfags, footfags, hate speech, bananas and Spiderman....

We all feel.

I love you Anon, whoever you are.

If you're thinking about pulling the trigger tonight, please consider not doing it. Hell, do it tomorrow if you must.

But tonight, just please hold on. You're precious, each and every one of you.

All that aside, let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

OP's a faggot.

Was kinda dumped yesterday by the only girl I've ever truly had strong feelings for.
Been having out regularly for 3 months now, first met as a tinder hookup so wasn't expecting much.
More we hung out realized she was awesome. She even had the body language cues and other small things that showed she liked me.
Didn't hang out for a few weeks due to travel and school/work for both of us. Outta no where she say she doesn't want to do a committed relationship because it wouldn't be fair to me with her being so busy with this palette stuff she does. And she's going across the country for uni.
She makes fair points on why we shouldnt pursue that but up until this point we had never even discussed what our relation was.
Really hit me hard knew it coming but thought it might last the summer.
Haven't ever felt this bad chest literally hurts.
Sorry for rant feels better now

>>731092830
>giving a shit about someone who wouldn't give a shit if you just stopped existing
Why do you people put yourselves through this?

>>731114087
I like to believe in the best of people. Sadly I've been burned everytime.

>>731114301
Do enough nighttime travels, you'll eventually see a ghost.

>>731094421
welp

im done for the night

maybe for the week.

fucking hell im crying

>>731113879
Not the best degrees to get a job, I guess.

Anyway, you should keep trying. Keep improving your Japanese and get as much teaching experience as you can, preferably teaching English to Japanese or vice versa.

Also there are websites where you can search for job offers in Japan and some of them can be applied to even if you live outside Japan. Gaijinpot comes to mind but there are many more.

Keep it up Anon, I believe in you!

>>731114382
I have had one incident
It was a bitter December night at 2am temperature had to be 10 f. Driving back from exes house and there is this young teen girl standing under a streetlight by stop sign. Skin was pale white clothes looked nice and nothing bad. Area was suburban and wouldn't have no homeless. We both looked at each other for a second then I drove on.
Still confuses me to this day. Wonder what would've happened if I rolled down the window.

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I'm just gonna vent my feels n' shiet. Don't expect this to be organized at all.

Okay so I've done well in school my whole life and never really "applied" myself because I never needed to. But I've been struggling this entire year through Chemistry. Half because I don't apply myself and the teacher does an incredibly poor job of trying to convey information. He says I have potential but I honestly don't feel like I do and it's so fucking late in the year that I can't save my grade in that class. Every other damn class I do just fine in and I don't have to worry but not Chem.

I wish I had better friends. I mean it's great that I even have people to talk to and stuff but whenever I try to set something up like going to a movie or rock-climbing they just decline. And it's not like I ask them at the last minute, I'll do it a fucking entire week before. I asked them all, even some I haven't seen in a while, if they want to go to a Pink Floyd (Roger Waters) concert in a month and a half but not one person said yes. I feel like I'm just a nuisance to them or something. As if they only "hang out" with me out of pity. I don't think that's the case because I've known them for years but still... It's not even like I'm some damn normie that wants to go out and party every weekend or get wasted like a degenerate, I just want to hang out and chill with some bros.

I don't understand women at all I guess. I'm not a complete loser, I've talked to them, texted, hung out, flirt, even went on a date once or twice. But it seems like after a while they just think I'm a pest or I'm just not attractive enough to be with. They'll gradually talk to you less and less until the point where you always have to start the convo. but you'll know they just don't care about you or anything you have to say. I just want a girl to accept me for who I am and stay by my side, is that so much to ask? I guess so...

(1/2)

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>>731115543
Also, fuck depression. I can be feeling fucking great for a while and then it will just overtake me for months on end. It's like I have no control over it. And when you have depression everyday feels the same: wake up, school/work, sleep, repeat. And it's not like you feel an overwhelming sadness all the time, it's more like an apathetic numbness that takes away all your drive to do anything.

On a slightly unrelated note: all you Anon's out there with feels should read or re-read 'The Catcher in the Rye' by J.D. Salinger. I just read it like last week and it was super relatable. Holden Caulfield is /ourguy/.

Thanks to whoever made it all the way through this rambling mess of a post. :)

(2/2)

>>731092830
I really like this girl and we talk a lot, I think she considers me a close friend but when I've brought up being more than friends she's kind of brushed it off. I know it just sounds like normal friend zone but she's sent me nudes and cuddles up on my when we hang out alone and shit. I think she's afraid of a relationship (her last one was shitty) but I'm also an ugly fuck so

>inb4 blog
No I'm not posting the nudes eat shit

>>731114087
I'll go smoke a joint outside and toast it to everyone in the thread. I like reading other people trying to make strangers feel better

>>731114028
Something about this image always gets me, thanks for posting Anon.

>>731092830
I'm almost 34, I'm a kissless virgin. I've never had a girlfriend, I've never had a woman show interest in me.

I've lost over 100lbs, in the hope of making myself attractive. I've tried dressing better, I've learned to ride a bike. I have a good career. I just keep pouring effort into myself but I can't show it to others. I'm still so shy and so self conscious. I can't project confidence at all and I'm truly, deeply scared that I've been a fat fuckup for so long that I've passed the point of redemption. I've lost all hope now and I don't know what to do. I'm terrified.

>>731113964
That's sad, anon. Well, at least you were there for him. Just remember, smile that it happened, don't drown that it's over.

>>731116597
*Frown* sorry, I mistyped.

I was in love with this girl all through high school and we fucked around but she would never date me. We finally got together after like 4 years and I was only with her 8 months before I got tired of it and broke up with her. I loved her to death but I couldn't deal with how needy and how much of a bitch she was most days. There were still good times even in the end but it made no sense for us to be together. I haven't talked to her since, it's been about 6 months. She's tried talking to me several times and I hear from friends that she asks about me but I won't talk to her.

Most days I completely support that decision. The heart can't be trusted and the mind said that remaining in that relationship was illogical and doomed to fail eventually.

Some days I feel like I just threw away the only real chance I ever had at love after only 8 months.

>>731116531
im kinda in the same situation as you man...and thats the perfect word to describe how i feel,terrified

Why is nighttime so comfy?

>>731116531
Like I told my autistic brother, dude, there's 7 billion people out there. It would take you from the time you were born to right about now to meet 1 billion of them. If you gave them each 1 second and never slept, ate or took a shit.

Now he's fucking fat Haitian bitches.

I swear, /b/ro, there's a huge group of women who get wet off the idea of losing a limb. There's definitely someone out there who wants your dick.

From my experience, the best way to cope with loneliness is to accept it. I tried to kill myself twice in high school because of my inability to interact with people, and my inability to make lasting relationships with other people, but after the second time I realized that there's no point in being sad over something I'll never be able to do. I can put up dealing with people at my job, and I can avoid dealing with people at my large university, and make peace with being alone.

/b/ros, I know trying to do this will be hard. Fuck, I tried to end my life twice before coming to this point, but if there's one thing that you should try to do, it's to make peace with being alone. I know just saying it won't make it a reality, but I promise, when you do, things get better.

>>731117209
The exhaustion gets us through the day instead of our thoughts.

>>731117221
Exactly my delight when I discovered the pretty significant subset of gay culture that goes after chubs/bears. I may be 6'3" almost 300 pounds but I'm still finding hot men who want my ass around their dick

Good thing I'm easy to forget~.

:D

>>731094421
u h i cant even read the story man, but
lolitasex.com
first real porn site i found. told lots of people about it.

>>731117989
FUCKING THIS.

FUCK EVERYONE ELSE! IF YOU'RE INTO THAT WEIRD SHIT YOU STRUCK FUCKING GOLD! DO IT FOR ELISA!

>>731116531
seriously man, girls go for retards, if you have no standards. by that i mean 420 pounds blonde and a kid

>dont set no standards high if theyre there for seomthing theyll leave wehn t hey know tehy wont get it

>>731093205
FUCK ME. THE FEELS TRAIN IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT.

>>731117221
Thanks anon. I'm trying to keep the hope alive.

>>731118599
I don't know if I get what you're saying. I'm better off single?

>>731094501
How was your day anon?

>>731095570
Anon, take care of yourself and your bros. Be there for her as much as you can. Try to keep it together. Sending positive vibes your way.

>>731096285
Fuck. :(

Gnight guys, i think ive had enough feeling for tonight. Its 2:24 am here. Sleep well, sweet dreams, dont forget your meds, ask for help if you need it. Suicide hotline in the usa is 18002738255, theyve helped me out a couple times, im sure they can help you. Love you <3

>>731120256
Thanks

>>731096400
FUCK!!!!!!!

>>731120601
Goodnight anons. Off to play videogames before bed~

>>731096487
SHIT MAN. THESE THREADS. FUCK.

Well, gn Anons, I hope you guys have a good day tomorrow, and remember, we are your friends, and will hear you out for anything!

>>731106920
/thread
Only correct response.

>>731120878
>>731121038
>>731120601
>>731118054

Good night folks, and all the other anons passing by. Love you all. You are worth it and you do matter. Take care of yourselves. Stay awesome.

I have a story, gonna greeentext for first time
>have a 8/10 friend
>known her for 5 years, never went out
>started browsing 4chan 2 years ago
>also stopped seeing her because uni
>started seeing her again yesterday and today
>she tells me she misses the old me
>ask a friend for advice since I want to get with her
>he manages to date her within 5 minutes of talking to her
>now both of them send pics of them together to taunt me
>suicidal thoughts from jealousy
Happened just a couple hours ago, typing this whilst considering the M1911 I have

>>731121249
18002738255
Get off 4chan and call this number. Do this for us. Do this for us anons.

>>731120601
>>731120878
>>731121038
>>731121223
Idk why but for some reason I keep on checking this thread after closing my laptop.
And I realized its you fuckers. Sitting here thinking that we all have a common feeling right now. Made me she'd a few tears typing.
I wish I knew you tards. I love y'all and take care.

>>731113829

Hey anon, not sure if you are still following the thread. Alcohol is a temporary fix, instead why not write down a few things you always wanted to do and write down a few things you like about yourself. Doesn't have to be long or many things, it's easier to think of negative things, I know it too well. I highly suggest talking to someone about what's on your mind. Creating a plan for the goals you want in life. It's hard. I am sorry. But call 18002738255, I highly suggest you do. Talk to someone and work through your problems. I wish you all the best. Take care.

same thing happening to me, OP. it's shit, but maybe you'll feel better knowing it's shit for me, too.

>>731116244

Cheers mate.

FUCK

i love feels threads

they are one of the few thing that make me feel human anymore

love you anons

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>>731092913
not it at all really
/b/ is a place you can see shit that censorship would not allow on most high traffic interweb

Sometimes you regret clicking on a thread or a post, sometimes it's full of kek's
you can not un-see what you have seen once you clicky

but that's random

>>731121681
That is worthless number. Not but that shit doesn't help

I really need this thread to keep going. I've been in a rut for days now all because of a girl that I care so much about, and having no idea if she feels the same

>>731125488
greentext time

>>731125558
I don't have the heart for it man. It's not even that interesting. It's just I know it's going to be the punch that turns me into a cold hearted cynic

A week ago I lost the love of my life. She was dealing with alot of stuff and I was just a burden to her. We were in love... she showed me poetry and I showed her my music that was so close to my heart. No I am empty inside. She broke it off completely, but randomly texts me "Im sorry" just when I think I am getting over it. I don't respond because she is just clearing her conscious. I pray that I can be with her again. I fiegn false motivation into fixing my life without her. But I will always want her. She was perfect.

>>731125888

You weren't a burden. Relationships are mutual. A give and take. She thought she had a lot going on and she couldn't handle a relationship at the time. It's not your fault, she has shit she needs to figure out. You say she was perfect, but is anyone really perfect. I hope you get through this.

>>731126388
I've fell in love with women before but not like this. I've never been with someone I didn't feel embarrassed about anything with. I was able to be me. And she felt it too, and I know it. We cried together for hours when she told me it had to end. But I just wish it didn't. I know it will pass but it is so hard. I have her a Polaroid of us that I look at all the time. I have a stack of poetry she wrote for me that I can't read because it hurts so much. I drive all the time around her (not like outside her house but near there) just to maybe see her again. I am just lost everyday. I have to work in 2 hours but every time I close my eyes I just think about it and what I did wrong and how stupid I am.

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>>731092830
ive been getting left on read guys

im sad

Does anybody have the image that's like two stick figures and it's like "I make mistakes all the time and I'm not perfect but I hope you'll stay with me"? I found it here a few years ago from a feels thread. Reminds me of my ex

>>731126876
That hit me hard man. I had a similar situation not that long ago. Just stay strong and shit, I know you've probably heard that already but you've gotta hang in there. Life will get better. :)

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>>731095570
So sorry to hear that

>>731102297
Tip your fedora at her and tell her how inferior her shitty normie chad bf is and how she needs a real gentleman. She'll get wet as fuck

I've come to realize that I've been trying to replace you. You left a hole in my heart and at first I ignored the pain. Told myself I'd be okay. As time past I became more and more aware of the pain, and still I tried to replace you. I've been on dates, kissed a few girls yet I know that nothing's going to come of it. They are all just a distraction. I'm starting to realize I'm going numb. I'm not looking for a distraction any more, I'm not messaging girls 24/7, I don't care about their feelings. My heart doesn't hurt either, I'm just empty. I'm good at hiding it though. Really good. I have trouble sleeping at night though. I just stay up real late, sometimes just because I don't want to sleep or dream. Sometimes you cross my mind, although my heart doesn't sink like it once did. I don't get sad when things remind me of you anymore. I just shrug them off with no emotion.

>>731127608
Kek.

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6 months ago, my girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me 1 week after I started shopping for engagement rings.

I thought things would get better over time. They've gotten worse.

>>731093024
is John Green any good actually? saw few quotes and book titles mentioned, but haven't read anything

>>731126876

Anon, she will always be a part of one of the many good memories. It's hard, really hard. I can relate to some similar situations, I still think about some of the girls I dated and thought we were going somewhere. I really think you should come try to terms with it, it seems like it was her decision to end things. And in oddly weird way you should respect that. Put her things away in a box and store it away in your closet or attic. Try keeping your mind off things, by doing something new that you've been meaning to do. Volunteer, learn a new language, whatever peaks your interest. You won't ever forget her, but you shouldn't live in the past. Continue living, living in the now.

>>731127063
i think im in love with this girl. ive never felt this way about anyone else. its been this way for months. we used to talk.

>>731096487
I don't know weather to laugh or feel.

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I'm getting a contract marriage to a female in the military so i can get the sick benefits and cash and she can get out of the barracks. Problem is i've loved her since we were both stationed together while i was still in a few years back. idk what to feel anons. Its like a genie granted my wish in the shittiest way possible...god damn witchcraft. At least im talking this other girl so it helps. She really likes me but my friend insists shes probably a hoe...

>>731096487

Whoa

>>731127897
It'll get better, trust me.

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>be me
>beta fag max
>walk into class one day
>new chick
>lock eyes
>oh god my spaghetti
>instant feels, but beta fag
>become fast friends, like same shit
>her name was sam
>best of friends, never separate
>neither of us date, but theres something there
>draws me pictures daily
>i write for her.
>we spend all class making stories together
>make up our futures.
>she wants to be an artist.
>im gonna be batman
>autistic cringe upon remembering that
>fast forward, 3 yrs, high school sophomore
>were still thick as thieves
>still get daily pictures
>now she draws so much better.
>draws me, realize the feels are mutual.
>beta fag is evolving.
>she has a new friend, jesse.
>press b, evolution cancelled

Should i continue? Kind of a long story, but im buzzed and willing

final bump

i rest, anon

>>731129836
nvm ill stay

>>731129836
Pls do

>>731129915
My first and final bump before I hit the hay.

>>731129836
go on anon

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holy fuck ignore this thread & check out
> ᔕᑎᗩᑭᑕᕼᗩTY.ᗰE
now

>>731129836
Cont.
>jesse is a dick bag
>claims my turf
>feelsrealbadman.jpg
>stop writing for her
>still get pictures daily
>distance takes its toll, jesse has unzipped the compressed vagina file
>fuck i hate him
>her dad finds out
>small southern town, fuck you daughter, get out
>feel so sorry for her
>homeless, jobless sam. No hope. No money. No other option.
>the day she turns 16 she marries jesse
>fuckthisimout.doc
>leave school, drug it up, get shitty scrapyard job.
>disappear from the world in my haze
>jesse and sam move to more southern state
>myspace ftw
>she still talks to me. She knows about the spaghetti
>apologizes, still sends me pictures.
>ignore that shit, cocaine is my friend
>fast forward, 3 years.
>realize i need to get my shit straight and go to tech school
>GED unlocked. Pass go, collect 200 dollars
>enlist in army
>infantry, just like johnny rico baby
>off to basic
>finally crack, myspace it up
>she didnt miss a single day
>as times goes on the pictures got sadder

Continued but i know im keeping you waiting

>>731130421
mate fuck off

>>731130685
keep it up, OP still here

>>731130685
i was expecting a suicide or something

>>731127907
No.

>>731130685
Holy shit.. Anon please do continue. Glad to hear you got your shit together.

>>731130739
Anon, it's a bot just ignore.

>>731130811
Ayy OP thank you for the thread. It really has made my night. Thank you anons, take care of yourselves.

>>731094421
what.

>>731128790
Any advice anons..?

>>731094501
>But nobody will ask how mine is
I was never okay with this.

Is it your post? How's your day going?

>>731128790

I suggest you start dating the girl, and getting to know her better. The girl with the contact marriage of course. Get to know her likes and dislikes, what her thoughts on the marriage. What she thinks about you. After all that, tell her how you feel. Do you want to make this work, does she want to make it work. What do you both want. Yeah it's a contract marriage but it doesn't mean you both shouldn't be happy. You should be happy and she should be happy. Relationships are mutual. Maybe she might change your mind about things, maybe she won't. You'll never know unless you try to get to know her. All the best anon. I have no experience in that area, but those are my thoughts.

>>731130685
>she used to draw me sunshine and beautiful scenes
>6 months before i finally checked they turned dark.
>sad pictures, crying anime faggots and the like
>i ask her whats happened
It turns out she got pregnant, but jesse decided to beat her
>lost the child
>i still feel horrible that i felt so relieved
>all i can focus on through basic is her.
>i never even told her i left
>graduation day, i feel so proud.
>she had left jesse while i was at bct
>moved to hometown
>beta fag has evolved, solid 7/10 with the body of a greek god
>its now or never anon
>we meet up, but the cuck is too strong in this one
>we spend the whole day making stories like we used to
>she wants to just be happy now
>fuck man, i could be that guy
>she sees me to airport, hugs me goodbye
>oh god, the smell of her hair.
>flowers can never hold a scent so intense
>looks me in the eye
>"anon, im so sorry. Ive always loved you."
>fucking shoryuken to the gut
>we kiss
>spend whole flight replaying that moment
>i was so excited but crushed i wasted the chance.

Skipping a bit, next bit continues 3 yrs later. 2012

Are we all just broken.

>>731131038
Confess before the paperwork goes through
otherwise you could end up in a one sided marriage

>>731131386

Everyone's broken. It's just a matter of how well you can keep the pieces together.

>>731096337
is there any follow-up?

Sitting at a strip club looking at the most beautiful woman I've laid eye on in my life. Maybe that's the alcohol talking but she's here with her boyfriend having the worst time. And I ended up on only because I met some crazy old bitch with a rattlesnake hat who convinced me to jump in her vehicle and "party with her"
What the fuck are these feels

>>731096337

but who was phone ?

>>731131340
>>731131492
Thanks anons. Im sure she just sees me as a brother though that's why she asked. I know a lot about her. I guess she's just not attracted to me. Which i understand. I don't believe in the friend zone.

>>731131386
That would imply the chances of getting fixed. Some of us are, some of us aren't.

>>731096539
wow. whole time I was hoping for some "dad is the good one" ending.

>>731131383
>2012, big year in this anons story.
>orders come down, afghanistan summer vacation imminent
>ive still been talking to sam.
>i see her on my leaves, but its never the right time
>im always a day late
>fuckmylife.exe
>she still sends the pictures. Theyre happier again.
>she found a job, has been saving
>surprise trip to see her.
>i show up with flowers, knock on door.
>fucking dude answers.
>jesse
>alpha male mode engaged
>completely lose my shit, end up in bracelets
>local sheriff knows im on orders, lets me off claiming i was just drunk.
>turns out jesse was there signing divorce papers finally.
>huge misunderstanding, but the piece of shit had it coming.
>vow to make it up to her, take her to her favorite beach
>she sits me down on the beach, draws me for the second time
>looks up halfway through, oh god her eyes.
>the deepest blue i will ever see.
>we kiss.
>spaghetti is falling at an astronomical rate
>confess my feelings about everything, ask her to marry me when i come back.
>she drags me back to motel, tells me yes in no uncertain way
>sex wasnt even sex, it hurts my soul to even call it that.
>her smell wont leave me to this day.
>roses maybe? Way stronger than flowers.
>i wish it would never wash off

Cont.

>>731131803

Then let her know you are serious about getting to know her better and creating a good healthy relationship. You don't have to explicitly say exactly that but show her, and say things that convey those feelings. All the best.

>>731132234
Thanks, anon.

I thought I was better with life. But my ex (you may remember me as the guy who helped set up wedding plans for his girl marrying another guy) just hit me up on facebook. I was fine not talking to her. But my only recourse is to get drunk so I don't talk shit. I'm only about 10 beers in. How do you deter a sociopath? Calling her a cunt just makes her call other people I know and whine. What do I say to make her gone?

>>731105156
Honestly? It could be not because they don't care, but they just don't know.

There are too many people I care about but I just don't remember exact dates of their birthdays. I know what month they have birthday, but not day, so facebook kinda helps with that.

So come on, unhide your birthday on facebook. If people didn't care, they wouldn't wish you anything anyways.

>>731132390

Block her on everything. And just say you are too busy to talk and don't respond. She will get the message. That's the tame route.

>>731132147
Cont please anon

>>731132570
Yeah, there's a problem there. I forgot to mention it because drunk, but we have a working relationship. Like normally she hits me up to translate shit to make sure cunts are spelling foreign shit right. For tattoos and shit. If I block her, I lose income. I just want her to not actually talk to me. Just do buisness. Now she wants to talk.

I do and don't want to talk about my problems. I do because supposedly talking about this bs will be "better" for me. I don't because I've talked about it so many times that it just feels exhausting and I'm getting no where with it.

>>731132787

Say that you are busy with other clients, and a side business you are working or whatever, so you would like to keep the convos short and professional. And just change the subject or end the conversation after talking breifly for less than a minute.

>>731127907
He is good in the sense that he writes well sometimes, (like what you just saw in that pic). however, it's few and far between and riddled with his shit message.

So no it's not good.

>>731132892

It does help. Maybe someone on /adv/ or /b can help you out. But a professional that expertises in the issues that are troubling you might be your best bet. Consider writing out what's on your mind. It might help you consider/find a plan of action to get through those problems, also you could copy and paste to get more perspective from more people, and you could just print it out to show a professional or a doctor. I hope things get better for you anon. Take care of yourself. :)

>>731133329
What kind of pretentious shit is this?

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>>731132147
Skipping deployment story. I doubt anyone even gives a shit but fuck you i need to tell someone.

>deployment ends, i return.
>stupid army shit, no one cares about SRP stories
>get a month off
>i immediately book it for home.
>she greets me at the airport, those blue eyes taking me in.
>i swear they could steal your soul if you let them
>i take her back to her favorite beach
>carry her down to a quiet scene
>"anon, what is this"
>wedding march plays
>"i do"
>"i do too sam"
>bigkiss.jpg
> i accept my discharge forms and we move in together
>near old base, fuck hometown
>find a great job, works good, she is happy. She draws pictures for me everyday.
>come home one day
>whats this?
>picture sam, shes pregnant though.
>we hold each pther and make stories all night again like we used too
>this time about the child.
>this is too good to be true. Im beside myself.
>our child is born, a beautiful baby girl
>she has those blue eyes.
>looks so much like me but god those eyes gave it away who she truly favored.
>everything is perfect in my life
>birth took its toll though.
>suddenly i dont get pictures anymore.
>its ok, the kid eats up all our time
>become a decent dad.
>sam shows jealousy now
>gets mad at me nothing
>do everything i can
>therapy, counseling, finally it comes to she wants a break
>fuck
>i send her home, babyanon is 2 now.
>infidelity.doc
>i completely lose my shit, trash all her things.
>divorce papers are served to me
>claim im unstable person
>full custody
>fuck what did i do?

Its been a year now. I havent seen my child or her in that long. Ive been involved with the most expensive fucking ordeal of my life, and still have zero right to see my child. She wont even send me a photo of her. Shes 3 and a half now. And will never remember me.

The worst part is the last picture, the one of her pregnant, i destroyed in a drunken rage. I still have no idea what i did, or even what made her go apeshit. Pic related. Anons daughter and those eyes

>>731133329
Everytime I tell this story I want to put it into layman's but I can't figure out how to do so because I feel like it doesn't make sense with lack of context, but I don't wanna have a giant wall of text. I was seeing a professional (therapist specifically), stopped like a month ago, forgot why but haven't really bothered making the effort to do so again. I wouldn't entirely mind saving it as like an openoffice document if I could upload text files. Because I think 4chan has a character limit although I'm not sure.

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>>731133110
The only problem is that she knows all my other clients. Either they're tattoo artists or the lawyer that got her out of jail. I tried telling her I don't want to talk unless it's buisness. She just keeps asking me if I'm okay or if everything is alright. I wound up getting evicted a few months back due to work being dry. Transcriber life is great when you have buisness. But below the poverty line when you don't. Basically, she's got my by the balls again. But in the proverbially instead of the metaphorical sense. We have a long history of being friends before the whole bullshit that happened between us. I either need something that will make us just be friends, or just be friendly. It was great when we were just buisness partners. Now she wants more. And goddamn, I can't handle that again. I've evolved beyond whatever I was 2 years ago. I can't let her drag me back, but she's my kryptonite. Help.

>>731093894
Nice facebook level feels, faggot.

>>731133513

I don't even know. It's 6am, cut me some slack.

>>731094724
Anyone who has memorized combo items on a fast food menu needs to reevaluate their life.

>>731133329
In my experience, "professionals" give me a bunch of drugs that make me unable to work. But I'm one of those artistic cunts. I haven't had a "real job" for over a year. I think you need to find a specific psychiatrist for your needs. To talk things out and feel better. Basically a paid conifandt that is very wise.

>>731133727
Also I meant metaphorically and not literally. I am more drunk that I thought. Good thing I have no set works schedule.

>>731127496
>>731128078
Thank you Anons. You guys really help me in what feels like the worst of times.

>>731133727

I think you should look for new clients and look for a new hobby or side hustle. As I said before just say that you are trying some new lifestyle changes or some bullshit. And then slowly push her away and only keep her for business contacts and pleasantries. Then you can just talk about that to work. Whatever she talk about change the topic so it's something you want talk about, and never talk to her more than one minute if possible. She will get the hint hopefully after a while.

>>731134245

You're welcome. Keep moving forward.

>>731117644
You know what is even worse? When you are the "daddy" your daughter describes and you have dream like this.

I still remember my dream about having a family and perfect life... It all disappeared when I woke up in my shitty flat.

>>731129269

Hope so man, hope so

>>731105156
Youre fucking pathetic. I dont know the exact dates of any of my friends birthdays. If i dont tell anyone its my birthday, nobody knows either. The world doesnt revolve around you, people have other shit going on, life is busy.

>>731133638

Bullet points is enough, just briefly in as little words as possible like a green text on 4chan. You could post multiple posts of all your green text to get multiple perspectives and opinions. You may want to consider seeking a new therapist to get a 2nd look. All these perspectives and opinions will help you form your own solutions and plan to get through this.

>>731134265
Here's the thing. She's the best artist in my town. And most of my clients are tattoo artists. Yeah, that many people want tattoos in gook or jihad or jewspeak etc. I have no formal experience to put on a resume. I'm working on getting a factory job so I can pay my worth at my parents' house. I don't want to be a whiny cunt about it, but I look dumb. Long hair, visible tattoos, the whole nine. The only client I have she doesn't know is a university and it's only when they need a dead language expert. I don't want to tell her I'm busy and lose the ~100 bucks I might make in a week. Maybe I'll do that once I have mh factory job lined up. I'm looking at my local job center for gigs and shit. But my job isn't exactly in high demand. I should've learned mandarin instead of jihad.

>>731134629
Ok that gives me an idea of how to do it. Still a lot to sift through and I'm pretty tired right now. I think I'll start some of it and post it on the next feels thread I see.

>>731127907
Looking for Alaska was alright but none of his works really get past meh teir

>>731133547
Fuck.. I did not see that coming, for a moment I forgot I was in a feels thread. show her that you have changed. I am sorry to hear that man. Actually change for the better, so you are someone your child can look up to. You don't have to play house with your divorced wife but show that you care about your child. Then talk to your ex wife and maybe with a lawyer first to get some custody of your child. Hopefully things get better, you don't have to completely get along with your ex wife. But you could play nice for your child's sake. Hopefully you get some rights, hopefully you patch up your life bit by bit, and can move on one day. Don't stay stuck in a rut, you gotta keep going. As I told another Anon in this thread, Don't stay stuck in the past. You have to continue living, focus on the now.

>>731134105

For sure agree with on the psychiatrist post. I think I may need to see one in the near future tbh. But I haven't had experience with one yet.

>>731135211
I left out a lot of minor details. Ill never say i am completely faultless, but i never wronged her. To specify she fucked others not me. Dunno man, she had the kid and just slowly went bitter, like it ruined her life and she blamed me. I understand if its a generic story, but it is mine

>>731135075

Have a good night Anon. If I am around I will make sure to reply to your post. As it's almost 7am here in Toronto. I am dead tired as well.

>>731135329
You're gonna need to do research. Trust me. Find someone that isn't a cunt. I only found a good one because I participated in studies involving my brain. (I'm a weird fucker that survived going completely septic and had a large portion of my brain killed by the infection, yet I still have average human intelligence.) Just for reference, I'm not crazy just some kind of retarded or something.

>>731135559
It's 3:26 right now here in California. Not sure when I'll have internet again. Currently hanging out at a friend's but I have to go back to my shithole of a home that I live in tomorrow, I'll see about crashing at someone else's place to bum their internet.

>>731134969

I hear you, well just try to keep the convos short and business related. You can speak Arabic? There are people online or Craiglist jobs. You can be a translator. Or teach Arabic online, a lot of Muslims like to learn Arabic. Give it a look. I would have said to go to a your local Arabic and whatever other country community centers that speak Arabic to work in their community center as a translator or something to help new comers etc.

>>731135487

I am sorry to hear that man. I really do hope you get through this. It's just that I guess people do change, and fall out of love. It's fucking unfortunate. Do your best hopefully you will see results.

>>731135788

Holy shit you went through quite a ride anon. Glad you are doing better. Mhm, thank you for the heads up.

>>731135877
I occasionally get cl jobs. But I live in a predominantly white area with a lot of illegal Mexican/other central and south American immigrants. Fucking everyone speaks Spanish, but there are basically no muslims for a few hundred miles. I'll look in to teaching stuff online. I just recently got internet again. Despite me sounding miserable, you've given drunken me hope. Maybe I could work at the homeless shelter turned Islamic fun house. Or whatever they call they're non-mosque meeting grounds.

b https://youtu.be/RW7C5uHA_DI

>>731136378
Nah, this happened when I was 3. Something about brain plasticity and other nonsense I don't care about. It ain't no thing to me. It's no longer relevant. We all gotta work what we got, you know? Try looking up a local "brain center."

>>731136430

Kek. I was raised in a Muslim family. So learning to read Arabic is important to those that religious. So there's that. But anon lay off of the alcohol. I haven't heard your whole story but, but from what you have said just focus on business when taking to her, think of her as a client and nothing more. Communicate through emails if you have to. Say you are opening up a business email for your business to hand out people some BS. And want to use that to communicate because you to be more professional. Answer question with short replies and quickly end conversations that you don't want to continue. That you have another call on the lie, someone is at the door, have to get chicken out the oven, eat dinner, hunt Osama Bin laden's ghost, and etc. Glad I was of some help.

So I just read all those replies, and huh... I feel like shit.
anyways, I got small story, it isn't good as others here, but I just feel like I need to share.

so let's start
>me as a kid
>having fun at school, fun with friends, outside 24/7
>growing up, finding vidya and stuff
>friends move, I go to other high school
>everything sucks for a while
>I am basically a beta robot
>nobody cares about grills
>I grow up even more
>people start to care about girls
>I am starting to have a spot in my group of friends (not counting other groups playing vidya)
>I apparently can't talk with girls
>stuff slowly gets better
>high school ends
>summer break
>both me and group of friends evolve
>it's like 2 guys and 6 girls
>that kind of friendzone everybody wants (I was fine with that)

so let's skip some time

>present time, few days ago
>group is still going, everybody goes to different schools, but that makes us even better friends
>I am slowly getting that I have feelings for one girl
>my friend knows my feelings (it was kind of happening even then, but now it was stronger)
>he is that guy you talk with when you feel
>I am making small moves with this girl
>she seems to respond fairly quickly to my.... flirts? (I am not sure how could I call it)
>we meet again
>I feel little bit weird, like something's happening
>I ask my friend if he is anything with that girl
>he basically writes an essay
>tl;dr I know you love her, but I kinda got feelings for her and it just happened
>he apologizes in like every second sentence
>but I can't feel better after this..you know, you can't take a "sorry" from somebody who did just this
>he kinda ends it with "but you will find somebody else, who will be even better, if I found her, you can find someone too"
>I can't say any more, I don't want to continue this conversation
>His last words are him being amazed that I found out sooner than anybody else
>my last words are "seen"
cont.

>>731136888
few days pass by
>I am feeling like shit
>but being a student I got like no money to spend on shit
>in hindsight, it's cool, because it could have been worse
>this best friend is still my best friend, even after this, because he just done so many other things
>I just have no idea if her reactions (to things I have done) were faked, too much friendly, or if she has actually meant it and I missed out because I didn't act so quickly
fast forward few weeks
>we (as a group) are hanging out again
>everybody is having fun
>I am having fun while still thinking about all the stuff that has happened
>people know about my friend and her (but they don't know anything about my feelings for her, I presume)
>party time ends, am with friend
>my friend finally gets that this is something we won't talk about
>so we have fun just talking
>I get home
>I feel like shit again
>when I think about an opportunity with someone, I just remember all those things
>I see that having someone else would be just a fix for my loneliness now, not anything else
>I am thinking about all those missed opportunities, if anybody ever liked me
>I remember some girls subtly making contact, but all I did was turn them down (because I wasn't getting it)
>I am drowning in music, either to feel or to smash everything in my head out
>I am reading feel threads, getting that it could have been worse
>kind of helps
>kind of

so that's mine. I hope there is somebody who has read this and can relate a little.

>>731136610

I gotcha. And exactly, but wish their was a magic to take sometimes though still to make things everything okay. I will look up brain center, I live in Canada. And my city has a mental health organization that's sort of well known. But treats some serious psycho crazy cases, as I heard. I always thought there was nothing wrong with me. And everything is fine, but I think as I am getting older and older. It's getting harder and harder to convince myself that everything is "fine".

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>>731136879
Haha, it's almost like you know she turned me into an alcoholic. Also, I don't take calls. Everything I do is either in person or through text media. I dunno, we have a weird relationship and I don't want to ruin my current primary source of income. She knows me too well to lie to her. I am squirrely and quirky, so I could probably get away with just telling her "new work bruh." But she also has tattoos she needs to finish on me. My shit is all fucked man. Alcohol makes me less stressed though. Goddamn, I just want to love that woman. But I know she's a ho. Life is hard mane.

>>731137227
Ah, I know almost nothing about Canadia. Except you people hate American casual rudeness. Depends on your issue, you might fall under "treatable crazy psycho." Try and find someone that does bio-feedback or art therapy. I've found that combination works well for me. Equal parts diagnosis and therapy. Just gotta work with the hippie shit.

>>731136911

DW Anon, been there. I am one of clueless fucks. That doesn't get a hint or shuts down any advances. And when a girl shows their interest STRONGLY I usually shove them away because I am not interested or attracted to them. Which has ended in many bad relationships, endings, and so much wasted time. To this day I still think about many of those girls. I fucked up 1-2 years ago when I went to apologise to a girl from middle school on FB, that I ghosted after one date who was one of my besties at the time. I was literally forced, so I thought by everyone else to go out with her. As she asked someone else to ask me out, oddly that someone ended up being the girl I had a crush on (and my best guy friend got a chance to date her, I was mad af). But she just replied as if nothing happened. I guess I deserved it. But we still had a lot of mutual friends, and she probably told them that I still think about her or some shit. I saw a picture of her recently. And I am glad I dodged that bullet. One of many. I catch onto things a bit better now but I am still clueless af.

>>731094501
Fuck, this is oddly fitting to how I've resigned myself

>>731137448

Groovy dude, I will write that down for future reference. And I got love for Americans don't you worry. Just some trauma from when I was a kid, a lot of gaps in my memory. Rough childhood, abusive dad, domestic violence, to name a few. I've got some form of depression probably.

>>731138336
Oh, trust me. I know about the rough childhood thing. Apparently I got lucky with my brain damage and it counter-acted some of the abuse symptoms. Amplified others, but I mostly have that shit under control. I've learned to let go of the far past. It's recent people fucking me that hurts me. I'm in the DMZ between nice guy and anto-social prick. Which makes me a prime target apparently. Just gotta figure your shit out and work through it. And make sure you don't let the bastards get you.

>>731137240

I get addicted to shit easily so I just lay off all the icky bad things. But drugs, alcohol are just temporary fixes and escapes. So not sure if they are worth it, but I guess it is for some that just need a break. Amen, life is hard. Nothing good is ever easy. Fuck alcohol and fuck hoes. I don't mean figuratively fucking hoes. But fuck'em.

>>731138685
It's only temporary if you don't devote your life to it. Alcohol has worked well for me. Sometimes I feel better, sometimes I can think properly. But I'm a fuckup, so don't trust me. I'm passing out now, have fun friend.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r0OOMgs5xgNhoL9dodXS3iuXFKG1txVoYPMKcY0GGk0/mobilebasic?pli=1 here's an old story from a sad anon its long but sad

>>731138620

Are you in highschool? If you just stay under the radar it should be fine. If you want to make some quality friends join some clubs or teams, to get closer with some people in your year or other years. If that's not your thing, just stay under the radar and get through it. Some people are assholes. Thats how they operate, steer clean of them. Find your own place to do what you want a library, a teachers classroom, a hall way, club room (some clubs just get together as excuse to have a space to do their own thing), outside. That's how I got through highschool.

>>731139094

Good night habibi.

>>731138248
So anon, how's your day going?

>>731138620

Just a heads up I might pass out. So I hope you have a good night amigo. And Good night to all the anons passing by. Take care of yourselves. You do matter. I love you all.

>>731107621
I'm currently stationed in Japan with the navy. Don't give up on your dream. It's everything you'd hope it would be. Keep working.