You encounter a Genie (pictured) The Genie offers you a single

>>731074597
i'll bamp it for ya.
it was sorta funny first time i saw that

I wish you would make my life better ever day by becoming my good wife.

i wish that i could afford 1 pizza right now. i'm hungry af

>i wish to be a Genie with out me haveing to grant wishes or follow the rules of a Genie

>>731074597
Make all non-whites unable to reproduce.

>>731076911
And you would get the small shit pizza that has that one topping you dont like.

>>731076335
The Genie thanks for your contribution.

>>731076357
The Genie becomes a good wife. Sadly, she's only in it for the money and pampers you with the best of foods until you get so fat that you die. She takes your money and leaves.

>>731076911
1 pizza arrives... from Kazakhstan. The delivery boy wants paid for every mile he has traveled plus gas money and tip. The pizza is disgusting.

>>731076926
You are now a Genie that cannot grand wishes. Have fun in the lamp forever.

>>731077188
Non-white creatures can no longer reproduce. Since no human is colored purely white, this includes all off humanity. Polar bears and Samoyeds now rule the earth

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>>731077188
>>731077488
>>731077588

>>731077588
polar bears have black skin :^)

I wish for genies freedom

>>731074597
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard and-and I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?

>>731076926
You forget the bottle your traped. No rules if someone rubbed your bottle you cant get out it a rule someone rubbing the bottle gets you out of it.

>>731074597
I wish for 115,00 nuclear bombs.
>not using it do destroy us all, keeping them as a collection

>>731077488
>>731077588
as long as i can afford the pizza, i'm good. i like every topping and i can eat food that tastes bad without problem

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I wish for absolute adaptation, in which users can quickly adapt to any situation, automatically gaining the necessary attributes to face them. In a fight, they may adapt themselves to resist abilities, replicate and enhance them to surpass their opponents, or spontaneously develop specific countermeasures. They can also analyze and understand any object, person or situation, quickly deducing the best course of action.

>>731077956
Turkey will be a little dry

>>731077824
The Genie notes that you did not specify skin nor hair color.

>>731077855
All genies and wish granting beings now belong to attorneys. The world is fucked. The Genie immediately regrets granting this wish.

>>731077913
The Genie is now free to fuck the world up by hurling colossal-sized horse cock dildos continuously. She hopes you're happy.

>>731077956
You get a non-weird surprise. It's poison.

>>731077958
The Genie hopes you wish for better grammar skills.

>>731074597
I wish for every clock in the world that has the functionality to 'boing' from this moment to inexplicably 'boing' at 42 minutes into every hour (0:42 1:42 etc) along with their usual functionality.

>>731074597
I wish to fuck the genie.

Make me immortal but let me die if I take 100g of xanax.

>>731078467
Granted. Xanax no longer exists.

>>731078061
You now have to pay for a storage area. The government has several eyebrows raised in your direction. Putin has a boner for you.

>>731078184
Rule 3 takes effect. Only the first sentence is accepted.
Everyone in the world now gets this ability except you as you didn't specify the target of the wish.

>>731078186
The Genie concurs. The turkey is very dry.

>>731074597
I wish to be able to stop time on command for a duration of one minute or any amount of time before that, while being able to end and restart the stopped time before the one minute and being able to do this every day.

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whats the most cans or alcohol have you done

15 shots

ended up vomiting all over the side of the road

>>731074597
I wish to have changeling powers, aka like the monster from "The Thing"

I wish for dubs.

>>731078574
There. I got my wish, which was to be immortal, without getting fucked.

Mad, Genie?

>>731078467
>>731078207
>>731077588
genie is shit and unfair without any kind of intelligence. kys

>>731074597
I wish I could write the greatest and best song in the world.

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>>731078810
You get dubs but they're not at the end of your post number.

>>731078852
Enjoy witnessing the death of the universe and floating alone in an absolute void for all eternity.

The genie always gets the last laugh.

>>731078279
The Genie is unsure as to why, but concurs. Also, every 'boing' will resound at a level of 200 dB. It is very loud

>>731078454
The Genie has no vagina nor anus. The Genie finds the wish more or less impossible to grant.

>>731078467
Xanax now tastes unbelievably good and smells heavenly.

>>731078622
Your wish is granted. You stop along with the time.

>>731078686
You are now hunted by monster hunters. They are not happy.

>>731078810
The Genie nods. Your voice is now dubbed by Ray Romano.

>>731078852
Wrong Genie. You must have met a nice one. This one, not so much.

>>731079028
is genie stupid? that's all i and many others have ever wished for

I want full control of space and time, being able to comprehend what i'm doing and not obeying the laws of physics (for example moving while time is stopped doesn't get me burnt)

>>731079099
The genie has a mouth, doesn't she? It ain't gonna suck itself.

>>731079028
Jokes on you, I can still kill myself using black holes.

The first black hole to evaporate will only start evaporating in a Gogol (10^100 years).

How can you be conscious if your body has its particles ripped apart?

>>731079167
goteeem

>>731079244
You get this.


But nobody believes you exist anymore.

>>731079309
Magic

>>731079099
>>731078622
So SUPERHOT?

I can roll with that

I wish you would kill yourself tbh

>>731079028
Jokes on you, I can still kill myself using black holes.

The first black hole to evaporate will only start evaporating in a Gogol (10^100 years).

How can you be conscious if your body has its particles ripped apart?>>731079390

Can't be magic if there's no energy left (or genies, in this case).

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I wish for immortality and to be given godlike powers that are unhurtful/soley beneficial

>>731079390
i don't understand... If i'm in front of someone they don't believe i exist?

>>731079549
It can still be magic because MAGIC.

>>731079609
>and
>/
Ya blew it.

>>731079771
>The Wish must be a single sentence with as few connection words as possible (and, or, but, with etc.).

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>>731074597
"I wish..." I started, as the genie eyed me expectantly from her above her lamp. And then I waited.

For 60 billion years we stared into each other's eyes, me pausing to think and the genie keeping me alive in stasis, waiting patiently for my reply. Earths crumbled and formed around us, stars fizzled into darkness and sudden burst into flashes of brilliant light. Entire civilizations rose and fell, species crawled from the primordial ooze and sank back into dust as I paused to think.

Finally I said, "eh, forget it actually"

>>731079639
yup.

They'll interact with you and stuff okay, but the second you leave they are convinced you don't exist. I mean, you can do whatever, but try and claim that you're you and no one will ever believe you.

Every time I pull my hand out of my pocket, my pocket will be filled by a whole $20 bill, in current US currency, with no negative repercussions of this happening.

>>731079924
Actually, I wish I didn't misspell "suddenly"

>>731074597
I wish the genie had a thick mustache.

>>731079390
How can they believe that i don't exist if i proove my existance? Don't i exist if i'm being ovserved, at least in their thoughts? Whay if i bring two people together ( or a whole crowd for that matter) and make them admit they see me?

Oh sexy Genie, I wish that everyone elses wishes are null and void.

>>731079881
>is a single sentence
>only a single preposition

what now, bitch?

>>731079973
I'm okay with that

>>731080210
You immediately become a dickless retard again, because many years ago your mother wished away your numerous birth defects at the cost of sucking 12 black cocks every day.

But at least your mom isn't a huge cum dumpster anymore.

>>731078904
The Genie nods. Your song is so popular you gain an undying fanbase that will love you with such zeal it will make Justin Beiber seem like Rebecca Black.

>>731079244
You no longer obey the laws of physics. Your body disintegrates due to no longer having an atomic bond keeping it together.

>>731079609
You are now a God... whose powers SOLELY exist for the better benefit of the Luxury organic skin care products made by Soley Organics and anyone named Soley.

>>731079771
Slashes are accepted.

>>731079924
You still only live the span of a human life. The Genie enjoys watching your skeleton turn to dust.

>>731080012
There was no "I wish" Attatched, but the Genie agrees. Your pockets are now filled by a whole 20 dollar bill. Your pockets accomodate more space than a single bill can, so the Genie increases it's size to fit the size of the pocket. She hopes you're happy.

>>731080060
The Genie now has a thick mustache. She twirls is maliciously.

I wish for the ability to manipulate causality freely, dictating what in my immediate area has a cause or effect.

>>731080147
>What if i bring two people together and make them admit they see me?

Then they will see a man who they believe to be crazy, claiming he is someone or something which clearly doesn't exist.

No amount of proof you can offer will convince them otherwise because magic.

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>>731080275
It says "as few", not "a single".You can use 6 gorillion if that is the fewest possible.

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I wish for immortality, to be given godlike powers that are unhurtful, soley beneficial

>>731080511
I control space bitch! Therefore my body too
I win

>>731080511
Uh the genie kept me alive in stasis for 60 billion years. Google "stasis" since you clearly don't understand what words mean

Also, never wished so she can't actually do anything to me. She's the dumbshit that decided to keep me in stasis, she could have just not done that and I would have died from dehydration after like 3 days.

>>731080210
The Genie laughs. Everyone's wish will now be "I wish for null and void". The universe ceases to exist.

>>731080525
The Genie points out the butterfly effect still stands. Whenever you change the outcome of a single moment, it will cause someone to die within the next 5 minutes due to your intervening. They would otherwise have lived.

>>731080642
The Genie agrees with the dense motherfucker, but "As few as possible" is exactly as it stands. Feel free to dick aroudn within the specified rules.

>>731080693
Read>>731080511 Number 3

>>731074597
I wish for Genie to be nice to people, forever.

>>731080564
Meh i can still fuck with people with time stopped, enjoy the worlds greatest wonders and the best experiences, suffer no risks and kill myself leaving the universe at a stop. I'm happy

>>731080525
>>731081039
The genie basically gave me the perfect tool for getting away with murder.

The genie is most generous today, isn't she?

I wish that Genie will have sex with me in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

i wish for the ability to be able to teleport myself to any location that i choose myself, alive.

>>731081353
For procreation, hmm? Tell me, who's gonna raise the magic bastard? Certainly not a bint-in-a-jar, I'll tell ya.

I wish for the genie to immediately die.

I then rape her corpse.

>>731074597
I wish I could get dubs right now.

>>731081353
Since genie lacks a vagina, the only way she can fulfil this is to carve one into you.

>>731079099
It's not specified whether genie has a penis, so IDK if the wish is still possible.

>>731081570
Granted. The teleportation process takes 50 years.

>>731081923
still pretty powerful.

>>731080869
The Genie has no such rule. She asks if this be your wish? To remain in stasis for 60 billion years?

>>731081163
The Genie is now nice. She specifies that "Nice" does not equal "Good".

>>731081315
Pretty much. Though you don't get to decide who dies. Causality does.

>>731081353
As specified above, the Genie does not have reproductive organs. She's merely good looking for sake of distraction.

>>731081570
The Genie agrees. Your clothes however, are not part of "You".

>>731081781
The Genie is an immortal spirit. Should she somehow die, she will disintegrate into a huge explosion. The Genie asks ifg you have seen Aladdin: Return of Jafar

>>731081804
The Genie is generous. You get a lot of dubbed movies and shows.

I wish that the genie would have a nice day

>>731074597
>>731074597
I wish you had infinite wishes.

I wish for the powers of superman, but none of the weaknesses.
>> No weakness to kryptonite or crippling moral dilemmas

I wish for the genie to be human

No more genie trickery for you, hee hee

>>731082256
>but

The genie takes interest in your butt?

>>731074597
I wish for no one to win the Mega Millions jackpot until December 1st 2017, at which point all six numbers on the ticket which I purchased on November 30th 2017 will be drawn as the sole set of winning numbers for the December 1st 2017 jackpot.

>>731082093
It already happened. She kept me alive in stasis for 60 billion years waiting on me to answer. Your reading comprehension is lower than a nigger.

I'm on Zearth now. That's what the Moglodites call this planet. Interestingly they still use English, they could probably give you a lesson on what words mean.

>>731078207
>The Genie notes that you did not specify skin nor hair color.

Polar bear fur is transparent, so those guys are fucked regardless.

>>731082548
You immediately loose your ticket 3 seconds after the draw and never find it again.
(You made this one waaaay too easy)

>>731074597
>I wish the genie would become my soul slave which is really just a normal slave that has to do whatever I say for normal requests, but when I die she dies.

Note: I would maintain an equal standard of living between myself and her through simple requests.

>>731082122
Oh the Genie is already having the best of days. So many people to fuck over~

>>731082244
The Genie wonders if you shouldn't wish to be able to read. Rule #1 is in effect.

>>731082256
IIRC, Superman has never considered his morals to be a weakness, but his greatest strength. You are very compassionate towards others and bound by a rule of honor to protect all life on earth.

>>731082283
The Genie is now human. She calls you a faggot and sews you for costing her her job.

>>731082373
The Genie has a lot of interest in butts. "But" is an accepted combination word.

>>731082548
This information is now public. People are waiting to ambush you on your way to buy the ticket. The Genie advises to bring a bat or a gun.

I wish that all my future children will have an infinite amount of wishes that you will grant whenever they feel like it.

>>731074597
I wish to be transfered to a world full of lush forest and savage tribes where mans laws don't apply, a world were honor and strength determine whose in power.

I ask nothing else of you but to let me take what possession I have on me.

>>731082886
Superman may not consider them a weakness, but his enemies do. Either way, I guess I'm fine with that. Thanks for making me Superman genie! Where's my hot reporter wife?

>>731082886
>This information is now public. People are waiting to ambush you on your way to buy the ticket. The Genie advises to bring a bat or a gun.

Meh, it's going to be public as soon as I claim the money anyway, due to the stupid rules in my state.

And I already own several guns, and could easily hire private security to escort me to claim the ticket, so it's not that big a deal.

>>731074597
I wish to transition as quickly as possible from my current state of being to my intended state of being.
>My current state of being is how I am at any given moment of perception prior to my intended state of being.
>My intended state of being is the equivalent female version of myself.

>>731082886
>>731082283
Problems with that law suit;

A: She was doing her "job" by removing herself from her position
B: Is being a genie even a job, or just being a genie?
C: Last I checked, she doesn't have shit to prove citizenship, so a suit wouldn't be very easy.

Try me, faggot former-genie!

>>731082886
That's good. I'm glad the genie is having a nice day

So no procreational sex. Genie I Wish for You, The Genie, to let me engage in sexual activites with your breasts until i ejaculate my sperm on you.

>>731083282
The genie interprets "As quickly as possible" to mean "as quickly as NATURALLY possible". Your transition may take some time.

>>731074597
>Turn me into a beautiful Japanese swimsuit idol
>Get screwed over by being paid 30% less than men.

>>731083505
She notifies you once you have started that once you stop, your cock will rot and drop off in 3 seconds.

I wish that some force, which is good in nature and all powerful, to appear before the genie in order to change the genie's nature, not through mind control but pure love, to one of which does not screw over those who wish upon the genie but to one that actually makes them happy.
I just wants the everyone to be happy including genie.

>>731082892
you can't fuck this one over.

>>731082837
The first rule of only one wish will always apply. All she can do after this wish is what any other sentient human being can. The Genie has a feeling you like fedoras and trilbys.

>>731082892
First rule still applies. Wish is void.

>>731083062
The Genie is intrigues. The Genie agrees. Within the first few moments of arriving, you are bitten by a mosquito. You now have malaria. No one is obliged to help.

>>731083282
Despite the violation of the one sentence rule, the Genie shall agree. You look exactly the same except you have breasts and a vagina.

>>731083375
The Genie doesn't have to. You made her mortal and freed her from her lamp. You lost your chance to have a free wish for anything you want.

>>731083505
The Genie turns her skin into shark skin.

>I wish i could go back 2 hours so that i could remind the dude Art Mc Drive he's given me too much change back

Still feel like shit even if it was just like 40 cents

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>>731080511
>The Genie now has a thick mustache. She twirls is maliciously.

>>731083375
>>731083927
So she not only CAN'T sue me, she WON'T now?

Empty threats were empty, genie bitch

"you have to fuck me"
>Even if she turns it around, it's not that bad

>>731083927
"first rule still applies"
fuck you, rule #1 is as follows:
>Under no circumstances can you wish for anything/anyone that would somehow in one or another fashion grant you more wishes. Any such wish will be void. ONE wish.

YOU, not anyone related, YOU. As my children are not me, it's totally legit.

I wish genies never existed

>>731083927
>Shark Skin
This doesnt stop me from fondling and suckle on them.

>>731084245
LAWYERED

>>731074597
I wish for the ability to predict random events relating to gambling.

>>731084440
>This doesnt stop me from fondling and suckle on them.
Are you sure? Her skin is made of sharks, dude.

>>731084245
Your Children still carry your DNA and any adopted children are not truly yours. Though this mightve worked on somebody not related to you

>>731084245
Read the thread, OP doesn't understand half the shit anyone says. He's just 12 and his parents are at work.

>>731083775
It is still a manipulation of emotion. The wish is void.

>>731084245
The rule also specifies you cannot wish for anyONE that can give you more wishes. Wish is void. The rule was established for this reason. Don't be butthurt. Unless, of course, you wish for it.

>>731084440
The Genie wonders if you wouldn't like to reconsider.

>>731084562
Your head is now full of them. Continuously. It doesn't have to be your gamble.

>>731084572
Her skin has the texture of those of Shark Skin so as long i dont move against her skin ill wont get sandpapered

>>731084687
DNA-related or not, it doesn't matter, they are not ME.

>>731084687
Rule one only states the one making the wish cannot ask for more wishes

Given the kids are his through genetic OR legal means, they still get infinite wishes.

>>731084818
the kids wishes won't be mine, only theirs.

I wish for a nicer genie.

I wish for the abolishing of the monetary system with a single world government controlled by an AI only invested in objective truth and guidance of humanity.

I wish for a perfect life.
>I also remind the Genie that according to it's own religion, just like humans, Genies are also judged on the day of judgement whether they will be sent to paradise or hell and it is a decision that is based upon their own deeds.

>>731074597
I wish I had the power of a god
>control the universe all energy matter and time

>>731084818
I'd only reconsider my wish if i get a handjob instead with the same conditions, but with no twists and no shark skin

>>731084818
It is not emotional manipulation

Manipulation is
to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage
or
to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose.
I said the force changed you out of pure love, there is nothing artful, unfair, or insidious behind the forces actions. You said i can't emotionally manipulate, not emotionally change. Thus my wish does not break rule 2 and is still valid.

>>731085212
The Genie shall try to simplify:

Rule 1 specifies as follows:
>Under no circumstances can you wish for anything/anyone that would somehow in one or another fashion grant you more wishes. Any such wish will be void. ONE wish.

Now, look at the phrasing "Under no circumstances can you wish for anyone that would somehow in one or another fashion grant you more wishes"

Let's look even deeper
"...can you wish for anyone that would..."

This can be interpreted to mean you cannot wish on behalf of anyone either as the word "For" in this context means both "create" and on "behalf of".

The Genie hopes this has cleared up some confusion.

I wish that the genie will be raped until death by an immortal african warlord that cannot in any way or fashion be removed until the genie is dead.

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>>731085541
>handjob
>no shark skin
Shark hands

>>731074597
I wish that you can't grant anyone's wish but my own.

>>731085728
Shark handjob or fondling sharkskinned boobs. My boner is getting harder and harder

>>731085349
The Genie is now 0.1% nicer.

>>731085397
The AI believes humanity is not fit to rule itself. The AI considers the best course of action is to put humanity into concentration camps to properly train them for the better of their future.

>>731085399
The Genie is under no condition required to answer to a god. Christianity and judgement day does not necessarily exist. Only your belief in its existence.

>>731085433
You are now beyond human desire for power. You now find humans uninteresting. You travel out into existence to find a purpose where you are needed.

>>731085618
All change is manipulation, so to speak. A force will always manipulate. The wish is still void.

>>731086134
Well, now you don't have any either. Your wish is granted, the Genie says.

>>731086134
>>731086278
any wishes after this are now useless, thread is over

>>731074597
To have Unlimited sex with Genie (Pic related) in any of her holes to ejaculation

I wish that I would be painlessly and instantly transformed into a beautiful woman.

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>>731078577
>Everyone in the world now gets this ability except you as you didn't specify the target of the wish.
So, The Day The Earth Stood Still?

>>731086134
Fake scenario or not, you are a gigantic douche.

>>731086278
All change is manipulation???
Is that really your bullshit excuse???
All manipulation is change but not all change is manipulation, otherwise, the two words would be synonyms which they are not. Apparently you do not know what the word manipulation means even though i posted the fucking definition. If i said "I wish for a tiger?" and you give me a lion, you cant simply say "All tigers are lions, so to speak. A big cat will always be a lion. The wish is still void." It doesnt make any fucking sense. Stop with your bullshit and learn some damn vocabulary, because your counter-argument is invalid.

>>731086278
>The Genie is under no condition required to answer to a god. Christianity and judgement day does not necessarily exist. Only your belief in it's existentence.

Then I would ask the genie to do some fucking research on what a genie [Jinn, Al-Jinn] is before making dumb fucking threads on an image board for chinese cartoons.

I wish for my life to become the best it can be without any negative consequences.

I wish for an unlimited supply of bepis

>>731074597
I want to fuck the genie

>>731086917
Change and manipulation is interchangeable. To change is to manipulate one state/object/being/existence into another.

To manipulate is to alter/change the outcome/position/state of any current situation/object/being/existence into a desirable one.

The Genie asks that you chill your butt on some ice and read a little. It might help. Also, if you should happen to wish for a tiger, the Genie shall happily oblige... It might be hungry though.

>>731087004
A Genie or Djinn if you prefer, is a demon/spirit. While I correct myself in accordance to your research, a Genie does in fact answer to a God like a mortal man must, no one said the Genie believes in a God. That was more the intention of my explanation.

I wish I was less intellectually retarded

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>>731086726
Damn, wrong image.

I wish for the ability to create and manipulate matter by my own will.

>>731085541
>>731086278

How about it Genie?

Ok I'll bite
I want to be the very best
Like no one ever was

I wish for the genie to massage my testicles with her hands until I orgasm.

>>731074597
>muslim detected

Yea, take your barbaric satanic religious horse shit and go home. If you can't go home, then go to Europe. They love you liberal fucks there. Remember, they are the country that voted for the Nazis, and the commies after all, and most of them are Catholics. They love anyone and everyone who hates Jesus, so you'll fit right in.

>>731088669
>Didnt specify
Dude youre fucked. If it happens you'll ororgas out fear instead of pleasure

>>731088970
And this is a bad thing?

I wish to be forever young at my age that is current at April 30, 2017 6:03pm, as forever young implies immortality,however a weakness of wishing for death by the genie that granted it by the human that wished for it in the first place.

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>>731089430
>I wish to be forever young at my age that is current at April 30, 2017 6:03pm, as forever young implies immortality,however a weakness of wishing for death by the genie that granted it by the human that wished for it in the first place.
>specification must be done in greentext to be legit

>>731089027
Cant be worse than Shark Skin i suppose.

Also did Genie go back to her lamp?

>>731087868
First of all your definition of change is incorrect just based on your definition of manipulate. Your definition of manipulate ends with "desirable one." Change does not have to be desirable for any party. Lets say water changing to ice. Obviously water does not give a fuck about changing into ice because guess what, it has no emotions. You cannot say water manipulates into ice.

Point 2, my emotions can change from happy to sad, when my grandfather dies. However, my emotions dont manipulate from happy to sad when my grandfather dies. Again there is nothing desirable there.

Now this all powerful being a defined will change you, but it is never said that it is his intention or if it is his desirable outcome. Thus you can be changed without manipulating.

Obviously many wishes can be grant through means which break your own rules, however if there is any path where a wish can come true without breaking your own rules, that path must be followed. Thus the wish is valid if there is any way the all powerful force can change you without it being a desirable outcome for him.

>>731089802
I hope not, I want to see my wish play out.

>>731088361
The ability must follow the laws of equivalent exchange. The creation of matter must come from an existing source of energy/mass. When created it is very hot. Manipulation must be done by hand.

>>731088535
State your wish in a single sentence and it will be done.

>>731088579
You now have a real test. Your cause is to catch and train them all. Pokemon now exist in the world. Not as if they have always been here. They just appeared. Some are dangerous and quite frightening. The Genie hopes you are happy.

>>731088669
The Genie agrees. She puts on a pair of sandpaper gloves and hopes you like it rough.

>>731089430
Forever young you say? Very well. The Genie has made you forever young. You will remain so until the death of the universe itself. The Genie hopes you like it dark and cold and without the ability to breathe.

I wish for the ability to hop universes without any way that they can kill/hurt me

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>>731089671
i dont follow rules bitch

>>731089932
Hands vaguely imply bare hands but fuck yeah!

>>731086278

>2nd one about AI.

Sure, if it is the most logical solution and it will make us better, then by all means sign me up.

>>731089932
I am immortal fuck yeah, i will live in the ether of nothingness until a new universe comes around. Then I can be what started life on earth by spunking into a pool of water. take that bitch.

>>731086649

>>731074597
I wish for nothing about my current universe nor myself, nor the natural flow of time to change save for granting me the ability to read others minds in such a fashion that I know what they are thinking as though they were my own thought, where I may be able to distinguish from my thoughts and theirs.

>>731089932
I suppose you'll grant my >>731083505
Instead of the handjob.

>>731089891
A further note, am i manipulating you with this wish? No, the wish manipulates nothing. But i do manipulate the wish itself, which is
a. not a being and thus unaffected by the 2nd rule
b.essentially what everyone in this thread is doing by trying to have a purely beneficial wish
c. manipulated before the wish is made and thus is not even subject to any rules.

>>731089932
>Forever young you say? Very well. The Genie has made you forever young. You will remain so until the death of the universe itself. The Genie hopes you like it dark and cold and without the ability to breathe.
For it to be forever, wouldn't the genie have to send him back in time to start at the beginning of the universe?

>>731090618
Not necessarily, forever technically doesn't have a beginning or end, so it could just begin from that point onward.

>>731083927
>What any other sentient human being can do
>just a normal slave that has to do whatever I say for normal requests

I mean yeah that's what I said isn't it? Someone needs to take out the garbage.

>>731089980
You may never return to a previously visited universe. The Genie hopes this does not inconvenience you.

>>731090253
The Genie begs your pardon for the delay. You are now a beautiful woman. So beautiful you have many many stalkers. They don't like it when you don't pay attention to them. Paparazzis are always on the look out for sneak shots. You can never walk outside without being recognized. The Genie hopes you are happy.

>>731090260
The Genie chooses to look away from the poor grammar and agrees. Your head is now flooded with the thoughts of everyone else on earth. You never have a quiet moment ever again.

>>731090618
He never specified. Forever can simply be "Forever more". Specifics are the key to winning this game.

I wish that every noun ever spoken by any person from this point forward be replaced with the word "Boy" or its plural, "Boys".

>>731074597
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXWgJSpvbic

cum in mum

I wish the genie would pleasure me until I orgasm

>>731091200
G-g-genie please squeeze my balls.

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>>731083927
>>731083062
Bring quinine brother.

>>731074597
I wish I had a magic wallet where everytime I went to buy somethimg the exact amount of money was in the wallet.

I wish for the genie to be free.

>>731090972
>The Genie begs your pardon for the delay. You are now a beautiful woman. So beautiful you have many many stalkers. They don't like it when you don't pay attention to them. Paparazzis are always on the look out for sneak shots. You can never walk outside without being recognized. The Genie hopes you are happy.

I'm happy with this. I can make it work.

>>731090972
>He never specified. Forever can simply be "Forever more"
Fair enough.
I think I'd wish that I always knew the correct answer to any question asked by myself or others

>>731090972
>can never return
Hohoho you messed up genie
I may not be able to but in the infinite multiverse THERE IS A VERSION OF ME ABLE TO GRANT WISHES HAHHAHAHAHA

>>731091334
What is a credit card?

>>731074597
>I wish to die very painfully

I'd like to see the genie fuck up that wish!

i wish for a notepad that only i can write in that will make it so whatever i write inside becomes reality

>>731091558
You see you actually have to pay for what you buy with a credit card but with the wallet hopefully money would just appear outta thin air

>>731074597
Immortality without aging past 25 with an immunity to all mortal and immortal illness.

I wish for a wish
Note I'm not asking for more wishes

>>731091681
Whew, guess I can leave the responsibility of my existence to you now. We're free guys, he's taking one for the team!

>>731091753
shit thats good

>>731090972
Next genie watch as i destroy your wishes completely. Genie says that manipulate = change. and that it can not do that to any being except for the wish maker. Let's start from the top.
Genie can't be a wife because it manipulates genie, who is a being other than the person wishing.
Genie can't deliver pizza from Kazakhstan because it will manipulate delivery boy.
Genie can't make the other guy a genie because it will create a lamp. Lamps have mass and all mass has a gravitational effect on everything in the universe, thus affecting everything with the creation of the lamp.


That last solution can literally be used for almost any wish accept for special powers people have which also can affect people indirectly in the futute and thus changing them and nullifying the wish.

>>731074597
I wish the genie a pleasant and peaceful life.

>>731091828
That's the thought.

>>731087918

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>>731092014
So the genie is a fraud?

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>>731084011
>mfw i realize it's a genie and not a mermaid

>>731092513
Exactly, the genie is a fraud through its own rules, unless it wants to change its definition of manipulate.

>>731078678
22
130lb
Gravity was strong that night.

>>731074597
i wish life was a video game,
so i could alt + f4 and play on another game that is better or do better stuff with my life.

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i wish the genie would succ my genitals whenever i wanted for as long as i wanted

>>731074597
I'd wish for a cherry coke.

>>731074597
i wish no matter what i can travel trought time.
--
--
--
try to fuck that bitch

I wish to ejaculate with such force that I die in the most painful way possible know to man and the force of my jizz-stream tears a hole in space time obliterating every last thing in existance after the Beejees song "Stayin' Alive" plays for 10 hours on loop so loud that everyone one Earth's ears are in immense pain but they cannot go deaf.

Let me fuck you genie

>>731093901
the "no matter what" imply that nothing could prevent me from traveling trought time,
so i could go back to the moment where i find that lamp ask a wish like usual but if i cannot travel trought time after that she din't respected the contract because its involve no matter what.

>>731094152
Genie lets you travel through time, but you wind up dead upon arriving.

>>731094261
that would involve that even dead i could travel time. because no matter what.

I want you to be my slave that do all the desires of your master like sucking my dick or clean the dishes

>>731074597
i write on a piece of paper

>every time I die im reborn in a random place on earth
>when earth is gone im reborn on some planet/place with sentient life and im reborn as the smartest species there
>i cant feel pain
>i can become anyone i want by pointing at them/a picture of them and thinking about them in my head, and also i have to think the word "alpaca". also works with animals and fictional creatures.
>my mind is disconnected from my brain
>genie cant wear clothes
>genie is human

then i say "i wish for everything i wrote on this piece of paper to be true"

>>731094345
You wind up dead when you arrive.

It didn't stop you from traveling in the first place, you just die after.

And you can't travel after death, because dead.

>>731092210
MFW the genie completely ignores my wish.
top gog. Genie even hates himself.

>>731074597
what if i ask for my body to be a singularity.

>>731094152
Anon. You already travel through time at a rate of 1 second per second.
The genie needs to do nothing for you.

>>731074597
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgqiSBxvdws

>>731094509
Which is essentially wishing for many wishes, so you get nothing but a swift kick to the pants.

>>731074597
i wish to remember everything perfectly.

>>731094969
at least she din't screw that much.

>>731095173
if you get rape you will remember every detail no matter what.

>>731074597
i wish having a reduction a cost of 200% in everything since the beggining of the universe.
oh wait my wish is already in action because (since the beggining of the universe.) now i want a 200% reduction in cost for the wish you granted me.

I wish to go back in time, but forget everything after the date I travel back to. the only thing I remember is if my goal was met

>>731074597
i wish you Genie had Short-Term Memory Loss since you existed,,,,

Enjoy your miserable life Genie.

>>731095121
ah, but how is it different then any other wish? if i were to wish for a zoo, id be wishing for cages and animals. isnt that two things, and technically two wishes? or if i wished for a cat, id be wishing for billions of molecules and also wishing for them to be arranged and work in the way they do in a cat. or if i wished to have a working elder wand, id be wishing for everything the elderwand can do.

>>731074597
Same exact powers as Wolverine from the xmen minus the adamantium

>>731096004
i wonder what would be the plot twist.