trips and il call my job and call off with your excuse.

tell them you're dead.

>>730861553
so close
tell them you suck dicks for money

>>730861464
Tell them you have become a gigolo.

you can't work because you have to un-inside out your anus.

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I'm quitting because you won't fuck me in my ass

I have to roll with my Down's syndrome gang to the Greek meat festival.

>>730861464
Going to kill someone so I'm busy.

>>730861553
so close rolling

>>730862648
rollin

anti work god

>>730861464
"I'm situating my ordinance, but I'll be in first thing tomorrow. Trust me."

>>730861464
sorry work i died

Tell them
"I rolled my eyes so had they went into my head, and now I can't see."

>>730862805
roll

"i don't like working with the likes of niggers and chinks."

>>730862781
This. Then enjoy prison.

>>730862850
one more time

>>730861464
Roll

Hey boss, sorry but I was looking after my cousins horse last night and well.... it's kinda personal, but... well let's just say sitting is out of the option for me, for the next week.

>>730862875
w

I'm cutting off my dick and eating it

Tell them you accidentally swallowed your car keys

>>730861464
You gotta volunteer at the retard olympics.

>>730861464
Tell them 4chan said to not go.

>>730861464
I've decided to be a woman like I've always been.

>>730863001
FUCK

Eating my own shit

>>730861464
Hey, boss. I'm gay and I suck weiners. I'm also a faggot. Bye.

you shit yourself. want proof too

Hey boss sorry we'll get them next time

Your lizard has herpes

tell them you have bad diarrhea from eating sushi

>>730861464

work is interfering with my being an enormous faggot

im joining the incredible league of sheckle masters

So... this was going to be a long story, so ill get straight to business:
I'm in love with you, not in a romantic way, but in a ... naughty way. You can't even imagine the things i would want you to do with me, but given these thoughts i can't work with you anymore.
Every single time i think of your jucy lips i get a hardon, every time you give me "the look" i try to figure out if you feel the same as i do. I've felt this tension between us, but i was never sure if it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. Well anyways, i quit, i can't take your constant teasing of me anymore, if i was wrong about you call me and we see where this goes.

>>730861464
I FUCK MURDER! -growl for 3 minutes then hang up-

Too many nignogs

Accidently joined isis

>>730861464
Call and say praise Keke. Hangup

>>730862815
Roll

>>730863193

You were stung by a stingray with aids

I fucked my dog and have to take it to the vet.

>>730863221

SO FUCKING CLOSE

>>730863001
>> Rollin

I want to eat dick

Benis

>>730861464
Tell them you spent all night last night grave digging and got an std

Cops found my cheese pizza folder and now I gotta make a run for it.

>>730863273

Call work to let them know that you will be making it in on time to work.

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>>730861464

"I'm feelin a bit quit today"

You made an interesting shit and are going to have it 3d printed
Provide picture of an interesting shit

car got stolen

>>730863321
Rerolling for this one

>>730863001

I murdered my family

>>730863381
Reroll, check em

i lost anal beads in my anus and scream, 'murica fuck yeah!

>>730863428
But add that it was niggers

Because youre quitting

singles say you go to work

Call in gay. Take a gay day. That's what I do.

You lost your phone

>>730863483
haha bye op enjoy making money

>>730863455
WINRAR
record results

My phone is broken and I have to go out and buy a new one.

>>730863495
This

Can't make it in today boss, The little lady is going to get pregnant today and I want to be there when it happens

Call and sound nervous. Say you have diarrhea and have been glued to the toilet all day.

>>730863447
FUCKING CLOSE

You caught the boss fucking a dog

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Trips chekem

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You still haven't found the buttplug

Everyone forgot that the Jews were responsible for 9/11 and I just can't accept that anymore, so I need some time off to fix that.

>>730863455
Rerolling the reroll, chiggity check this out

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35KB, 400x266px

>>730863549
Reroll

I broke my dick

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>>730863588
Dangit dubz atleest

Say you cant make it in because your getting in and work wont ruin this opportunity for you

>>730863495

>>730863633

Your dick stings

because trump

>>730863495

rolling

>>730861464
Quit because you're going to kill yourself after you hang up the phone.

tell them your stuck in the closet your not coming out

>>730863171

>>730863455
Reroooolll

>>730863667
So close

Had to impregnate my sister

>>730861553
rolling

>>730863495
Yes brilliant idea mate/bloke/guy

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>>730861464
"I can't leave with the prostitute in my house; she might try to steal stuff."

>>730863171
That was a good one, but anon is just calling sick for the day. Otherwise, bravo

Hey bozz, wont be coming in today. Smoked a little too much weed and just feel too paranoid. Sorry bud

>>730863001
Roll

>>730863171
fgh

>>730861464
I'm deeply in love with the girl who works near me,can't stand being her due to the fact that I get extremely horny

You're getting deported

Got aids nigga

>>730863703
Reroll

smoked meth

>>730862877
Well he wins

>>730863728
Thanks friend

>>730863785

>>730861553
fucking rolling

Cause i got high'

I fucked my mom and she might be pregnant

You have to drive your sister to get an abortion

888 get

Prolapsed asshole

Because a stranger on a singaporean knitting board made a post with ending with three repeating numbers meaning that you had to not go to work on said day

>>730863839

Quit because nobody is going to roll trips.

tell them if you leave the kid you abducted might escape

>>730863868

>>730861553
Rolling on this

>>730863888

WINRAR

>>730863888
WINNAR

>>730863888
Lame man

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call in work and tell them you've got several animals stuck in your anus.

>>730863888
Winrar

>>730863888
WINRAR

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>>730863888

>>730861553
rolling brah

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>>730861464
You've been invited to the 34th annual AVN awards spring party....

>pic unrelated

>>730863888
WINRAR

>>730863888
>>730863785
winrar

>>730863888
lol fuck!

>>730863888

checked

You've got to grate a lot of cheese

>>730861553
>730861553
roll

I've not been feeling horny recently so I can't jack off in work today. Ruins my motivation to work.

cause i dont wanna

Call in letting your boss know that you'll be making it in extra early to work. follow up with a second phone call to ask if the first phone call gave him sexual pleasure.

>>730861553
rolling..

How are we going to know if you do it

>>730861464
You are planning to be hungover from doing too much coke and you fucked a lady boy

>>730863888

/WINRAR POST PROFF

>>730861464
I have FUCKING AIDS! Got it from the Subway guy that diddled little girls. Turns out he's also a fag that likes fucking man ass.

>>730861553
le roll

>>730864111

WINRAR x2!!!

Because I'm too busy being a newfag and no one can stop me

>>730864111
>>730864111
>>730864111

WITNESS

Tell them you have a boner that's lasting longer then 4 hours

>>730861553
THIS and vocaroo it faggot

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Say you got your dick stuck in the mattress while fapping to scat porn of your Dad.

>>730864111
ANOTHER WINRAR

what are the odds op is a faggot and won't deliver

>>730863193
roll for this

>>730864111
gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp gormp

>>730861464
Tell them you can't come in because your a faggot and gonna anhero.

all trips combined

>>730864331
OP was always a faggot and was never going to deliver

>>730864333
winrar again

>>730861464
Say you have crabs

Butt buggered

>>730861464
I'm sick of sucking the boss's dick. I just can't do it again today, sorry.

>>no trips aint dippin

nigga rolled trips

>>730863802
holy fucking shit how retarded are you? not only did op say trips but there was also 2 trips before your dumbass mind decided he won.

Excuse: sorry boss bro, I'm too busy waking it to pornographic dipection of the Wendy's mascot.

>inb4 OP doesn't deliver

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>>730863785
>>730863888
Winner detected

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>>730865325
>too busy waking it
>waking it
>totally woke bro

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>>730865490
I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

4chan sucks I'm going back to le reddit

>>730865673
>Back to

You were never welcome here

>>730861464
I'm a nigger

>>730865673
FUCK OFF FAGGOT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US NIGGER, JUST LEAVE!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

op here no is answering the phones.

>>730861464
Tell them you're applying for a job at the dick sucking factory

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>>730865879
>>730866109
haha i le trolololo trolled u guise! :3

i have an a apointment with an ay abount some anal probing

i hope i dont lose my job at wendys making 8.75.

>>730866296
you dirty fucking kike

Tell them youre going to a ping pong championship

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>>730866458
you got me good you fucker