Depression Thread Tell us why you are depressed.

i'm not lmao @ ur lyfe

I've been lonley the past few years. I've had friends tell me I have no excuse since they claim I'm attractive, /fit/, and I also have money. But, I don't feel like I can connect well with people, and can't imagine having a girlfriend. Having a girlfriend seems fictional to me, even tho my friends keep telling me I "deserve a girlfriend"

It's been two years and I still haven't heard back from them.

>>730860391

Who?

>>730859077
I don't know man, recently I've just not been happy. For a long time I'd tell myself, "its just that I don't feel happy so I must be sad..." I never really considered it depression, but after about a year I think I've accepted that I am depressed.

I don't know why, I just haven't been happy in so long. I honestly don't remember a time (which didn't involve drugs or alcohol) in which I was happy. I'm just constantly down.

I can't get my life in order
I can't get my love life in order
I can't get my school...
my work...
anything in order.

I feel helpless and alone. Sometimes i feel like its the only way I should be.

>>730859077

Life has been a downward spiral for 3 years. Found out recently I have a brain tumour.

My life is pretty empty, no attainable goals anymore because i fucked up my education thanks to my depression, I'm fat and unhealthy, never had any girls attention, even other dudes don't befriend me unless they are losers like me.

I want to go to a good school and study something that I will enjoy and will get me a job. I want friends who do things so I can become a normal sociable person. I want a girlfriend to do all the things I've never wanted to do alone with and to travel the world with. I want to be happy with myself but time is ticking and I'm not getting any closer to those goals. I'm not seen as a normal person anymore just some shut in robot

>>730860779
There was this girl that I'd always play games with on steam. We would mostly play TF2 and random free games because we were both poorfags. She was really sweet and funny, and really good at games, too. We would play together almost every day. Our friend groups came and left, but we continued to play together. One day she said she was going on a trip over the weekend so she wouldn't be able to play. That was January of 2015, and she still hasn't been online since. But she'll be back some day.

>>730859077
Because I've started a new life recently and feel really bad with it. I lost all my friends and a part of my family. It didn't even change anything, just the fact that I feel alone

>>730859077
Because sometimes I cannot find myself to be inspired. I just sit, empty. I just sit, and I can't wait to die.

Forgetting is the only way I manage to make it through the days. The distractions are all I have. I'd starve to death if I didn't form the habit of making food at specific times in the day.

>>730861131
Holy shit dude, i am sorry to hear that

Because I'm a fat loser with no future and I've had no meaningful experiences in my life.

I am not depressed anymore, which is maybe even sadder, i would prefer depressions over this absolutely nothing that i feel every single day, i am not sad i am not happy its almost like i am not even here

>>730861481

It's a weird situation. I haven't told my family about it, and I'm not sure that I will. At times I've felt like I wanted to die and thought about suicide, but now that I actually am dying it's odd. At first I was relieved but the more I think about it, I'm not so sure.

>>730861853

How did you find out about the tumor?

Because of a chemical imbalance in my brain.

>>730861957

I used to do a lot of running. Stopped cause I used to get terrible headaches afterwards. I went to see my doctor about another matter, insomnia, and he mentioned getting back into exercise to help make myself more tired. I went back a couple weeks later and he booked me in to get a scan, I told him that I had these headaches previously. And paracetamol/aspirin didn't relieve the pain much.

>Depressed because kids in my school library scream while playing minecraft grade 9-12 btw

>>730862496

That's awful

How long do you have anon? :(

I'm still adjusting to adult life and I lost someone close to me

>>730861173
me too

>>730862671

Two months left. I have a feeling he was being generous, the doctor mentioned it's pretty bad. Inoperable, sadly.

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>>730862909

Wow... well, what's your plans anon? What happens next? What did you tell your doctor?

Too much mdma last weekend

>>730862565
Underage

>>730859077
girls

>>730863033

I'm not really sure to be honest. I'm currently at college and I live with my parents and older brother. My bro is moving away to another country in a months time and my parents are taking a holiday shortly after he leaves. Originally I thought about writing a will but I figured most of my stuff would just go to my brother anyway. So right now I'm sort of just waiting to die. And in the mean time trying to do a few things I've always been a little afraid to try. Ultimately though, I've decided to make a recording that I'll leave for my parents after they leave for their holiday. I have some friends further up the country that I will stay with for a few weeks and they will look after me till I go.

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>>730863643

>>730863643
I gave up on girls a long time ago. After that, people. It might seem sad or difficult, but don't give up. Don't become me.

>>730863750

That actually makes me feel sad reading that.

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>>730861853
>>730862909
>>730863750

Damn, I'm really sorry anon. But you probably should tell your family and spend your last moments with them. If not for you do it for them. Don't let them live with the regret of not having done it.

>>730863837
not him

But I'm on your path. I have a few female friends who give me shit because I don't have a girlfriend, and never have had one. One has a honest talk with me and she told me "anon, I don't understand what's bothering you. You're a great person and you're attractive. You are absolutely deserving of a loving girlfriend. I really hope and wish that you'll give it a try one day". That shit made me feel sad as fuck. It wasn't motivating at all. Infact, all it did is want me to distance myself further. I don't like the way I look. I'm not good enough. And the fact she challenged my feelings bothers me.

>>730863953

Luckily the worst part is behind me I think. Accepting that I am going to die was a very weird journey. I would lie in bed and just go over memories about all the people I felt close to. It was the first time I've cried in probably 3-4 years. Once I was past that stage, it was mainly about planning how to go quietly. Causing as little sadness as possible.

>>730864288
fuck... at least ya got dubs

>>730864288
I totally know the pain. I'm not even a NEET, I just don't talk to people or go out for anything but school and work. People just don't work out for me.

>>730859422
Thats exactly my situation.

>>730864409

I really wish that you go peaceful, anon. I feel really sad right now thinking about this actually.

>>730864141

I thought about that a lot. That's why I reached the recording conclusion. I talked a little bit about everybody, remembering old times (both good and bad). If you ever get sick or ill, you'll figure out the last people you want to see you that way are the ones you care about the most. My family will remember me for me, that's how I want to go out.

>>730864631
>>730864642

Yeah. I feel internally lonley. But I don't know what else I'm suppose to do. I LIKE being by myself. But, I still have this ache in my chest from loneliness.

Even tho my friends say otherwise. I don't feel worthy of a girlfriend.

My girlfriend is starting to lose interest in me, I'm in a program for young felons so I have to go 7 hours a day into a "school like" environment, I'm quitting cigarettes and pills all at once, and that makes me depressed. Also I have to be in a ton of therapy in which they prescribe a shit-ton of meds that fuck with my brain and make me feel tired all the time. Those are some of the reasons.

>>730864409
I hope you've had a good life. I don't know you, but you seem like a great person

>>730859077
Just boredom and anxiety. I shouldn't be though. I've had it made. But I know I don't deserve it.

>>730859077
I play competitive overwatch on a potato.
I wanna play more adventurous games, but for that I need better hardware.
To get that hardware, I have to get the highest grade in the national NAPLAN exam and get at least 5 A s by the end of the year. If I don't get these marks my mum will choose me an even bigger potato.

>>730864829
When you get a girlfriend, take my advice. Don't let her into your friend group. Biggest mistake.

>No steady job for over 10 years
>Failed music career
>Alcoholic
>Middle aged
>No family no kids
>No friends, only aquintances who I don't like
>No purpose
>No life

Actually when i list all that it's surprising I'm not more depressed. Most of the time I just have an oh well what the fuck can you do attitude about it.

>>730864829
You probably are. As much as I hate to do it, it's probably not our fault. It's probably something in society that, for some reason, caused us to deviate from the normal thing. Maybe we're woke. Maybe we are more normal than we think. I don't know. But what I do know is that I'm pretty ok with it.

At the end of the day bros...we're all gonna die in the end and that just makes me more depressed

>>730859077
after my parents are gone i can say, without exaggeration, that nobody likes me

>>730864657

You don't need to get upset, it will be okay. One thing I've learned; is that some things you just can't change. You play the hand you are dealt, as they say. If my time is up, so be it.

>>730865028

>when you get a girlfriend

why did you say "when"?

>>730865090

It's really confusing man. Having mixed thoughts

>>730865053
That sucks. Music is really hard to get into.

Just because you're middle aged doesn't mean that you cant turn it around. After the age of 8 up until the age of 88, you have about 11 chances to do something great. For all we know, you are coming up on most of them right now.

Ex girlfriend cheated on me. A few months later, I found out I had cancer, then had my fucking right foot amputated a month later, since limb salvage would have resulted in me losing a third of my foot and never running again.

Haven't had real sex since October/November of 2014. Went on one date since my surgery, and got a blowjob, which I didn't expect. She ended up cutting off all contact with me after one more date, without an explanation. She claimed to know about my foot, but I don't know how true that is.

I've been off meds and therapy since late last year, since I felt like I lost my edge when writing jokes. It's a dumb reason to stop, but I still did anyway. I can't stay focused on my favorite things (working out and writing), and my weight is all over the place - from 155 to 175 in a month. Self medicate with alcohol on a pretty much daily basis.

I have a few friends that check in every now and then, but I feel that it's mostly out of pity more than anything else. I don't think anyone owes me anything, and realize it's on me to change my life, but just making the jump is rough. At least I have /b/.

>>730865053
Well dude, at least you tried to get into music man, and you cant blame yourself for that. You could have just been content in a office job for the rest of your life but you said fuck that.
Never stop trying to rock bro.
also, Want to jam?

>>730865241
The same with me. Like anything in life, it has pros and cons. Sometimes you just have to think about which part outweighs the other.

>>730864829
Worthy? Pfft. Girlfriends are a pain in the ass man. Get a doggo instead. Much less maintenance and they will love you unconditionally.

>>730864829
I feel for you man. Im in the EXACT same situation. I feel like me being in a serious relationship is some kind of distant dream that will never be attainable. And it sucks because for the past few years Ive felt like the only thing that would make me happy is to have a women that will be there for me and that I can share my life with.

>>730864851

Thank you, and I hope your life turns out to be better! I wouldn't say I'm a great person, I lost my way a little at the worst of times. I guess the upside of this whole thing is that I got to be me for the last few months. Free of cares and worries. Not worried about peoples opinions or judgement. I spent time with the people I cared about and I can't ask much more then that.

>>730861376
shiet dude.. feels

>>730865241
Because when women get old and all their friends are married, their standards drop. its only a matter of time. And there is always the single mothers....

>>730865523
That was actually beautiful. Thank you. You're the person I think we all want to be at any given points in our lives. I'm glad I could talk to you, even if it was only for a few fleeting moments on an imageboard. Maybe that's the beautiful part about it.

>>730865211

I agree. But, it's still very sad to me knowing that the person I'm speaking with right now won't be alive and hanging out with us on the boards in 2 months. I genuinely feel sad

>>730865630
It doesn't help that I've also lost contact with the people that knew her in real life, too. But there's always hope.

>>730865350
Thanks but I don't rock. I mostly Jazz. Kind of burned out on it all and it doesn't really matter to me anymore if I have any recognition or income from it. It's more like oh well I had a good go at that, got really good at it but the percentage of people that actually make a living with it is pretty small so join the club. In the mean time it's just a matter of figuring out what the fuck to do with the rest of my life.

>>730864772
My dude, you just made me awfully sad and now I want to hug you with just a few posts. I can't even imagine how sad it would be for your family, but I'm sure they would want to be with you as much as possible.

Just my view on it, though.

>>730859077
ex fucked 2 close friends after we broke up . since then i can't trust anyone. it's not like i did trust people that much before but now i just feel like everyone is trying to fuck me over.

>>730865444

Trips

>>730865454

I would get a dog, but I can't.

>>730865516

That sounds just like me dude. I don't understand it.

>>730865678

>single mothers

Why the fuck would I want them?

>>730865294
Yeah I have no idea at this point. I'd kind of like to just pretty much drop out of society as much as I can and I'm making some plans to do just that.

>>730865933
>Why the fuck would I want them?
Its only a matter of time

>>730865979
Hey, that's probably one of them right there. I'm sure you'll do fine, anon.
.

lol idk i forgot.
is the depressed schizo here?

>>730865678

>Single moms

Ruuuuuuun! Trust me. Speaking from experience.

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Wish the best for you op, stay strong. Feels are real on this.

>>730866028
I hate kids

>>730866108
Thats ironic.

>>730866093
Thanks man. It's funny these things used to bother me a lot more. I guess the older you get the less fucks you tend to give.

>>730866210
kek

>>730866151
Thank god for women getting sole custody.

>>730866311
Found the nigger.

>>730866280
No, I think we just usually start figuring out what to actually give a fuck about. A bit, anyways.

>>730866442
Yes that's what I meant really. The economy of fucks. Not squandering them so much.

>>730866382
I wish, that baby was whiter than cocaine.

>>730865724
Likewise, I'm glad I got to share. Who knows, maybe we'll run into each other again in the coming weeks.
>>730865786
My Dad used to tell me; "accept what you can't change, change what you can't accept". I never asked where he got it from. But despite his shortcomings, he gave me something that helped me in life. I hope that it does the same for you.
>>730865924
Well regardless of how I die it will be sad for them. And it will be something they will have to deal with in their life. But I did spend a lot of time with them, and I hope that they will understand why I am choosing to go about things this way. I want them to get over me, I know that's unrealistic but anything that will help, I am trying to do.

It was nice talking to you all. Ima go for a smoke and try to get some sleep, will check around to see any replies before I log. Good night guys, take it easy.

>>730866311

And?

If she's a mother. I'm still going to have to be around her kids. I want nothing to do with that. I don't even want kids of my own.

Being a father is actually my biggest fear

>>730865926
Sorry to hear that. I don't know if that ever goes away but given my last experience with a relationship I certainly don't want to trust a woman again. Nothing quite like betrayal. I think it's one of the worst sins and right up there with murder.

>>730866751

I love you bro

>>730866817
Oh yeah so I did! Kek.

>>730866751
Goodnight anon rest easy

>>730866957
Luckily to become a father you have to enter a females vagina. I think you'll be alright.

Might be getting rich off a land deal this year which I think will help with my depression. People say money doesn't help but I don't believe it. In the words of David Lee Roth "Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you a yacht and you can sail up really close to it. "

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>>730866751
Goodnight anon, you made me feel more than any feels thread. If there's something after this life I wish you the best for it.

Spic here, in a land of whites. I never felt like I belonged here and never made friends besides some other spics. I used to spend time watching anime and playing vidya. But its not the same in college, I can't waste my days senselessly watching anime and playing /v/, I have to face real life.

>>730867653
Just don't become a narcissist and remember your roots, you'll be alright. Oh, and pre-nup.

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> be 22
> live in the guts of aus
> freinds dead
> family is assbags
> looking after 3 girls
> looking after farm
> 2 hours to closest town 50 min to next property
>severe alcohol adiction
>not allowed to kill my self
> i still have a job to do

>26
>no social life for 8 years
>no job for 3 years
>virgin
>too scared to try cock even though i've wanted to for a decade
>receding hairline
>small penis
>no confidence

>>730867648

That's actually a big reason why I avoid girls

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>>730868381
I feel you anon. No one ever seemed to fully accept me and that made me extremely insecure and afraid of people to this day.

>>730868531
I got no emotions for anybody else, you better understand I'm in love myself.

Because I guess it's just nature or something

Because I have a small dick
4 inch soft
6 inch hard

Cause I can't flirt with women.
Everytime I try I just shutdown.

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>my friends never hang out with me anymore
>my abnormally shit acne that hasn't cleared that i've had since middle school (leaving lifelong scars all around my body)
>not a total fucking beta, but ain't the most alpha dude ever
>dont even think about dating, no point in getting rejected over and over
>overall self confidence isn't too optimal
shit

I hate life.
I hate being alive.
I hate everything that's alive that can talk apart from parrots.
I hate myself.
I hate EVERYTHING.
I've just had 6 months of no depression but this past week it's come back hard and hit me like a fucking train.

>>730859077
I have been losing at a game I like

>>730868381
Umm hang in there anon at least you're not like idk paralyzed
>>730868700
Yer only 22 you have plenty of time to make what you got good
>>730868862
Try drugs.
>>730869073
This man understands
>>730869252
If it makes you feel better Evan engram got drafted to the giants.... and plus small dick is not that bad

>>730867653
tbh i too hope that money will take it away. my worst fear is that it wont fix my life

>be me
>pretty shitty childhood
>drug addict father and workaholic mom (she had to be)
>still pretty poor, drug habit took most of our money
>domestic violence, had to clean up blood stains a few times from their fights
>bullied at school, beaten up a few times etc
>fast forward to age nine, dad kills himself
>tfw close uncle kills himself exactly a year and three days later
>move to a new town, mom didnt want the memories, so said goodbye to the few friends i had
>move and about two weeks after dad's death, mom gets a new boyfriend
>He's basically my father, but an alcoholic instead of a druggie
>Get bullied at new school, beaten up more but i was used to it
>siblings didnt really care about me cause i was the quiet sit alone and read type of faggot
>My now step-grand father molests me. i tell no one, but it fucks me up a lot, like it does to most 11 year old kids
>start just numbing my emotions in order to get through my daily life.
>Got so bad i pretty much forgot how to feel emotions
>turn to cutting as a means to an end, cause that's what teenagers do right?
>didn't tell anyone, accidentally almost killed myself a few times cause i went too deep, but it worked for me emotionally. kept it all on the shoulders so i could wear short sleeves and not get noticed or found out
My mother found out a while back when i still lived with her, cause i had to get a flu shot and thats when the doctor saw everything on my upper arms
get sent to therapy, diagnosed with clinical depression, and get put on prozac, which im still on to this day. havent cut in awhile but i still have some really nasty scars

>>730869278
One day the one will appear anon
>>730869384
Get some benzoyl peroxide and then grab some pussy
>>730869594
Man I feel you just like solder through for a few weeks hopefully it'll die down
>>730869661
Its because the other team is cheating. Duh

>>730870017
Well yeah it won't fix it but dammit it could take the sting out of my lonely broke loser life a bit.

I basically ruined my own life and have nothing to feel proud of

>>730870094
Damn.

>>730869813
dude I used acutane for like 6 months and that shit fuckin worked, but i stopped as:
1: I was still red everywhere, not much white on my face or back anymore
2: side affects would make my liver/kidneys eventually kill itself so i dropped it before any shit like that happened, dad's side already has enough liver problems

Honestly I'm not sure if I am depressed.

18 years old; just finished my first year of university in a major i'm not sure that i like anymore with stellar marks in 2 classes(88 and 92) and 2 classes that I nearly failed because i got too nervous to hand in two essays that i had 90 percent finished. Two really easy classes too. Looking back it's like what the fuck was i thinking.

Most of this stems from the fact that I think I'm ugly and i'm starting to go bald so i assume that these two things mean I'll never have a girlfriend again.

I have a lot of skills (piano,singing,acting,speaking yadda...) and I have a good sense of humour but it's like i feel ashamed to exist because of the way I look.

>>730870313
Embrace the freedom, anon. Once you reach the bottom there's no way to go but up. When you have nothing to lose you are completely free

>>730870382
if you guys wanna see ill post a pic.
first post that replies chooses the arm 0-4 left 5-9 right

>>730870513
I used solidyn and other anti biotics for a bit to temporarily clear it up because nigga it is the ultimate acne eliminator. But you're right it fucks with your body over long term use that's why I use creams

>>730870605
Let's see that left arm anon

>>730870849

go to a dermatologist

They will fix you

http://www.strawpoll.me/12840131

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I am depressed because all I do is drink. I do nothing else besides work.

I began to drink because my fiancee and I broke up. She preferred to party and fuck big strong alphas that are not me. Week after we broke up she had a "pregnancy scare" with a football player and it was all dramatic over social media.

I deleted said social media and have never used it again. I make poor choices in who to love. I make poor choices in friends. I am a shitty terrible person who deserve to be used for fertilizer.

I have attempted suicide twice. One was hanging, other was sleeping pills and booze. One I woke up from, didn't collapse right and air didnt get cut off. second time someone found me and called 9/11.

I smoke cigarettes and drink every fucking day. I have stomach ulcers from said drinking. When I shit, I bleed profusely.

At this rate I won't live to be 35.

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People shit on me all the time (unironically),can't do shit, I ain't pretty enough to have anyone do shit for me, tried to kms but that didn't work obviously, My friend said she got offered commissions, in honors classes, all that good shit... She's fuckin younger than me, everyone's trying really fucking hard to get me instituted for all that shit

Why do I even bother anymore man

>>730871329
Sorry to hear that man. I know it's hard but you shouldn't let the stupid cunt ruin you like that because that's all she is. A stupid cunt.

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>>730871130

>Selena Gomez has more voted than Olivia Munn


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>730871329
Women are objects. Yours simply went defective after usage. It just needs replacement

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>>730870916
aight fam

>>730871825
Remember Tony the tiger

Show your stripes

>>730871825
Damn nigga, u weren't lying.

>>730870849
thanks for the tip, i'm prolly gonna go out tomorrow and pick some of that shit up
>>730870981
I went to a dermatologist and they had me on the acutane i already mentioned, now using 50mg of doryx and tazorac cream, not really as preventative as acutane and only really works after a week of using the stuff on one specific spot

>>730871825
yo if you show that to alot people they're gonna think it's fake because it certainly looks kind of fake

>>730871996
>>730871986
the right arm is worse kek

>>730872077
i can show the other arm if ya want

>>730871825
I know what its like to have self harm scars
I try my best to ignore it and hide it, but not sure how many people know. Everyone expects me to be sociable but theres reasons I'm not.

>>730872086
>right arm worse
U left handed?

>>730872160
Yes please

>>730861376
Them feels, a girl who plays tf2 is a dream

>>730871512
I made the mistake of trusting another human being is the problem. Put all my eggs and one basket and was surprised when she fucked off for someone better? Pff. I'm the idiot in that scenario.

>>730871740
Funnily enough I've come to the same way of thinking about women. Ever since that, any hookups I did have were rough, abusive tantric hookups. I'd choke them, pull their hair hard, slap their ass and hips til they were red, etc.

There have been very few hookups since then and it's usually girls who are equally as mentally deranged as I am so they enjoy it.

So I have a crush on my bestfriend she's way out of my league and straight so there is no way I'll have a chance with hur even though she's perfect. She says I helped her out of depression and made her not want to die but she's just replacing me with other people like the moment I want to die she doesn't give a rats ass

>>730872247
yee
>>730872217
i dont really care who knows i just dont flaunt it
>>730872302
kk one sec. want any proof like holding something to prove its me?

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>>730861376
shes probably playing overwatch now, either that or she got pregnant and her boyfriend left her so shes a single working mom.

>>730872431
Before she completely shuts you out randomly peck her on the lips.

I mean what do you have to lose anon

>>730872331
Funny thing is I think mine fucked off for someone worse. I think she might be legit retarded. This sort of problem runs many layers deep but I think it has to do with the cultural decline we live in. Relationships and especially marriage have become a complete bum deal for men and women have become shameless and worthless sluts.

>>730872479
Nah I just wanna see scars. I trust

>>730859077
>why are you depressed
Depression is the one thing that never needs a reason, OP.

>>730872728
what?

I need help guys, A person i know is very deep into depresion, how can i try to help? i mean i know she cares cause she still talks to me somehow but i really need some advice. i would really appreciate it. ive tried alot of things but it only works for a bit and then she gets sunken into depresion again. i could use a hand here. thanks

>>730860810
I completely understand

after 3 years, my gf dump me, just... why

>>730872823
If you know her personally then take her out to so something with friends or give her an experience she'll remember. Thatll help

I'm basically gambling my life on someone I barely even know. If this doesn't work out, it's pretty much my last chance and I'll probably an hero.

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>>730872712
kk hereth be your scars

>>730873029
Have a backup plan

>>730872661
It's quite sad, isn't it? Glad other people have made this observation. Family structure is totally messed up. Do families even eat at dinner tables anymore?

>>730872809
If there's a reason, it's not depression - it's just plain old sadness.
When there is no reason - it's depression.

Quit trying to claim special snowflake status by conflating the two terms. If you know why you're sad, it's just sadness. If there is no reason, then it's depression.
Most of the people here are just sad.

>>730861376
Damn reminds me of that other story

4chan is becoming worse every day. I only post on /b/ because it's so bad that I can't care about it anymore.

>>730872924
Know how it feels anon it fucking suucckkkss

>>730866751
please rest easy

I missed all the very obvious warning signs and now my friend is dead.

I had no idea he was so serious, I was as depressed and suicidal. I thought he'd pull out of it with me. He had just rearranged his furniture and had started going out, things seemed to be OK for him.

I'm really sorry Henry, I hope your sister would forgive me.

>>730873209
thank you doctor retard ph.d but we are having a thread over here

>>730873135
but dying is plan b.
what do you suggest? I only leave the house for work and shopping when I need it. I have no idea how to talk to other people and I'm insanely uninteresting. It's very hard for me to be interested in anything to get a hobby since everything I've tried in the past few years has bored me to tears.

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>>730872661
This is pretty much my opinion on attempting to court a new woman lol

>>730873226
Which one?

>>730873148
It's depressing as fuck. I know what you mean with the drinking because it drives me to do that too. When the world is running down.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXYW7kZP6jc

>>730859077
impoverished
girlfriend lives in another country
no higher education
falsely accused of rape
no irl friends
no irl girlfriend
can't hold down a job
IQ of over 130+
lifetime of abuse
marginalized and oppressed
recurring homelessness
unintentional celibacy
never travelled
never been in a long term relationship
suffer from chronic pain
etc

>>730859077
I have plenty of acquaintances, and people I'm friendly with, but I don't really feel like I have friends. After my parents and brother, I don't feel like people really care.

>>730861131
Hope life gets better for you anon

>>730873437
Nailed it. Why even bother? I dunno sometimes you just have to accept the situation for what it is or no when to walk out of a shitty deal.

>>730873461
Can't remember the details but it's the one where a war or something is going on. Guy says he will be back soon but never comes back on

>>730873563
Make the best of what's still around!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mgSCKXSp9M

>>730864829
i sort of feel like im in the same place. anytime i talk with people they say that I am fun to be around, and i am definitely not the least attractive person, (but i am by no means good looking) and they say i should have a GF by now. ATM i am just considering trying to find a cute trap with an insane sex drive and is super clingy and just keeping it a secret

I so fucking tired of being told that i am both good looking and fun to be around but have 0 chance with women

>>730873739
>no higher education
>IQ of over 130+

pick one, even without higher education it is more than viable to self teach and get paid through hobby work like i do, self employed for years living off a hobby.

im working on 3 games of my own as well as a payed concept artist for another game.

>>730873914
Exactly. Why bother?

The whole "idea" of it is appealing (call me a romantic) but the reality is it's not reasonable anymore. Why get involved when you know the end result is more than likely a hate-filled divorce and kids you pay for and can never see?

It's too bad. Think I'm just gonna donate sperm to a sperm bank if they'll have it. That might give me some satisfaction that I did the one thing in life that actually has a point and reproduced.

>>730873739
this reeks of tendies and wanting to kill women except for mandatory child sex slaves.

>>730874461
defs a retarded manchild but why the fuck would you want to kill women i love women and want to have babies w/ them but can't afford to
i'm too poor for any woman to want me, which is basically why i'm depressed!

>>730874446
Of course anyone with half a soul will like the idea of it but at some point we have to accept the reality of the cultural decline we live in. Sperm bank might not be a bad idea.

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My closest friend in this world is someone I've bonded over the internet with over the last 3-4 years. For the last 3 years I have tried to help him with his struggles with suicidal depression. I don't think he is even open with me anymore about how frequently he goes to bed with a loaded rifle in bed pressed up against his skull.

We met up this year. We got along very well. He's the first person I've ever felt that comfortable around without wanting to vomit or ditch him to be alone. We both share certain qualities that make us far more susceptible to depression than the average person. But unlike me, he does not have a good home or a family who cares about him. He lives in a fucking ghetto. The day his plane landed after our meetup he got beat up by two of his drug addict siblings.

He sees no value in living and sometimes I'm able to feel his slipping further and further away from me. There's nothing I can say or do to make him feel like tomorrow is worth waking up to. My words have little effect on him these days. I don't remember how many times I've already come to the conclusion that he succeeded in taking his life. On two separate occasions I scoured his towns obituaries because he didn't show up to chat for too many days. I've effectively killed him in my mind a dozen or so times; made myself believe he finally died because his absence the morning following a long night spent trying to calm him down and talk him down indicated that he must have achieved the death that he wanted.

He's my best friend. In some ways it feels like I've already lost him. I just want things to be okay. But I fear that things will always be like this for him until the day he dies for real. He's my best friend and I only want the best for him. But sometimes I feel I must only be prolonging his suffering. Perhaps I'm selfish for clinging to life in spite of my depression, and expecting him to do the same, even though the emotional suffering he endures is far worse than my own.

>>730874355
you're a game designer?

i have taught guitar in the past. i feel like i should just swallow my pride and go back to school and become a philosophy professor or some shit.

>>730873385
You're just sad, anon.
Really sad.

>>730874658
the incel cognitive dissonance is some of the most retarded shit you'll ever see

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Cheer up faggots. Look ahead, even if it seems impossible.

>>730874748
>goes to bed with a loaded rifle in bed pressed up against his skull.
sounds like hes just an edgy fag more than anything else

>>730874992
there's no cognitive dissonance here

>impoverished
>no pussy

seems pretty consonant to me

>why doesn't anyone want me? is it because i'm extremely poor?

I dropped a tendie on the floor. Life is no longer worth living.

>>730874748
I feel like that how my friend sees me tbh

Except every time I mention I wanna die she seemingly dips out lol

>>730859422
Same except the money part. im broke