So /b/, what are your guys' favorite/best insults?

you

>>730854076
My black coworker started making weird noises the other day, kind of like a gorilla (he was just fucking around). I told him that he's starting to sound how he looks

You couldn't pour piss out of a boot if thee instructions were written on the heel

Your so dense that light bends around you

Save your breath for the blowup doll

High speed bitch

Hun

Insults are meh, have to dance around them. Use reverse psychology.

>>730854076
I wish we were better strangers

>>730854225
I like the first one, it's very Shakespearean.

>>730854332
Fedora wearing atheist

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go away and take your face for a shit.

die in a fire. Cunt.

Ur mum gay

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i'd trade my ass in a black market and still get a better face than yours for it

>>730854218
Kek

>>730854076
Your Ma's your Da.

And your Ma's your Uncle Joe Soap.

>>730855185
And your Da's your Uncle Joe Soap even

>>730854076
"Fucking Trump supporter"

>>730854076
Mother fucking rich faggot unskilled Jew nigger communist whore.

Industrial cock sucker

>>730855509
So, "Trump supporter."

You cockmongling queefburger twatmuffin cumrag shitstain ratfaced faggoid troglodyte nigger

>>730855509
I imagine you get punched in the face a lot.

>>730855557
Eh. I never leave my house so I only get to use it online. I get banned a lot from servers and shit tho

>>730855556
WTF is a "queefburger," you cum gurgling cunt muscle.

You flying fuckwit.

It's ur fukn mum

>>730855660
None of that surprises me.

>>730855860
Dude I'm lurking on /b/ on a Friday night. Nuff said.

Cuntmuffin mcniggertron

i wouldn't even rape you

You cock-juggling thunder-cunt

>>730855979
I'd even pull my dog off ya

>>730854076
>Kim Kardashian.
>Fist yourself you cunt.
>You look like Sarah Jessica Parker's kneecap.
>I wouldn't piss in your ass if your shit was on fire.

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>>730855933
Well that's a backhanded insult if ever I heard one.

Fuck you, sir. Fuck you.

im against islam, but genital mutilation and a burka would be an improvement on you

im gonna convince your parents to abort you after all

i like calling someone a "chuckle-fuck"

>>730856307
Not intentneded but I'll take the win /b/rother

>>730855419
Fuck you commie faggot. Go watch your girlfriend fuck tyrone and let the adults talk kiddo

>be me in high school
>have to ride the bus home for 1 hour
>group of niggers always sat in the back of the bus
>bus suddenly stops, its those fucking road workers
>gonna be like 5 minutes and they'll let us get through
>one of the niggers in the back opens his window
>shouts "ayy yall are fuckin up life right now dawg"
> think to my self, this is the greatest fuckin insult of all time, HOW DO U DEFEND URSELF?

YOU ARE FUCKING UP LIFE

>>730854076
I bet you kiss girls faggot

>>730854076
you're like the first piece of bread in the bag. It's the piece that everyone touches, but no one wants.

>>730854218
Work at Wall St. sort of company, started calling a coworker (but she's higher up on the food chain) "my Nubian Princess", after she started calling me her "niggah".

Total respect on both sides, we just liked fucking with people's heads until we both got called into HR. We walked out of that meeting giggling like we were in Jr.High

I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

>>730857321
Griswalds?

>>730854890
you make that one up all by yourself?

>>730854076
Calling someone any sort of farm animal is wonderful, there's nothing they can retort with for the most part.

>>730857727
I hope to fuck he didn't learn it from somebody else; that would mean there were two of them.

double nigger
dog fucker
me cago en la leche

I'd call you a bitch, but they tend to be euthanized once they become useless. You're still here.

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If someone fucks something up or is being a roody poo ask..

Did you go to college?

-They answer Yes- Well you are pretty fucking stupid for someone who went to college.

-They answer No- Well you should go to college because you are pretty fucking stupid.

>>730854076
"you stupid dummy butt"

>>730854076
Hard working nigger. Humble honkey.

>>730854076
/b-tard

>>730857800
Dubs means truth. So the best insult is "you are any sort of farm animal".

"ur gay"

>>730854076
returds , matter foggers , eat a handfull butt butter and wank me a river !

my greation by battlefield playing lol

>>730854076
>I'd beat you silly but you're already there.
>still trying to prove the Dunning-Kreuger effect, eh?

I love calling people cumrags/cumstains
For example
"You fucking autistic cumrag/cumstain"

>>730858577
Did your mother do a lot of recreational drugs when she was pregnant?

Wtf are you trying to say?

Dickwad

Even a woodpecker can use its head. Why can't you?

>>730858769
I don't get it. why would I want to use a woodpeckers head? You really are some sort of farm animal.

>>730858716
No him, but yes she did. I came out all psychedelic.

>>730858914
Party on, wayne.

hey dude i bet you kiss girls fag

>>730858897
Yes, I'm an old goat and I'm fixin to head butt a butt head. (you)

>>730854076
Well, I am a decent english man, so I rarely curse.
My favourites would be either you cunt or you cow.

>>730858716
you matter fogger ! in games = insulting bots , you insult = kick/ ban = returd and not retard , retard = kick , and nad and you returd

>>730854076
Look yourself in the mirror, asshole.

>>730859113
That one is more cringe worthy than an insult.

>>730859384
Acid? I'm going with Mom was into acid. Maybe shrooms, but I'm leaning towards acid.

>>730859384
um. what?
It looks like you are trying to do some math, but you forgot to include any numbers.

>>730859399
lol

>>730859548
wank me a river . your mother have a acid pussy and now you have after birth a freddy krueger face haha feel it LOOOSER

>>730859601
math ? MATH ?

penis + anus = snickers ! this is math

looser

>>730859384
Youre such a farm animal

>>730859675
That really hurt

>>730859768
you butt butter face , i like animal genitals ! i m pRo !

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>>730854076

>>730859872
That's what she said.

>>730854076
>go back to your country.
not the best but my favorite one for sure.

>>730860045
I'm from fucking St Paul, bitch

im pRo ! i bleach my anus with a chainsaw ! ja i feel it

>>730859758
>>>730859601 (You)math ? MATH ?penis + anus = snickers ! this is math looser


(I guess I would take your insults more seriously if you were spelling it right)

>>730854076
I quite like 'slag'

>>730860173
I don't think you're quite ready for this thread. You might want to try redit

Do u EVEN suck cocks faggot?

>>730854076
you look like you eat sand

>>730860324
lol

>>730860141
good for you anon

>>730860186
english sucks ! i hate english ! english have only 20 words ! watch my watch

english is anus , as ass assault assassin , but butt butter , ja very anus

>>730854076
Mouthbreathing ethics

>>730854076
ya hoor

>>730860324
i can reddit your anus with my 40x8 meteor hammer penis bääm bitch

>>730860423
So, what you're trying to say is you like ass?

>>730857800
unless you're black

>>730860524
i love asses , i will access to your ass

>>730855543
I don't get why you're so determined to get attention for insulting Trump

Nobody cares

>>730859399
Sure thing, butthead

>>730860423
Hawaiian works much better. It has four phonemes and all the words are long enough to stretch from one end of the archipelago to the other if printed on dot matrix paper laid end-to-end and also the paper is waterproof during over the ocean.

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>>730854076
Wtf?

>>730860686
sorry i speak no oceanish

>>730854076
Are you a nigger or an ape

>>730860678
That probably would have been more powerful a statement if you had ignored it and not brought attention to it...

If i saw you in a public restroom, sitting in the urinal, on fire...id piss in the sink.

Herd an operations manager go off on a temp once. I did a service for my company and worked on a shipping line for a long, 17 HR day. (There was a mass firing the day before) The kid was doing nothing but complain, and the opsman overheard him and told him:

You seem to have a disability that prevents you from doing this job. Let me accommodate you, the exit is that way.

The opsman was run-over by a car (intentionally) two weeks later. He isn't know to be a happy camper.

>>730856811
3/10 racism stopped being edgy in 3rd grade and the cuck joke has been played out try for fresher material

>>730858150
has this ever insulted anyone?

>>730855419
We have a winner
>>730856811
Someone got butthurt.

>>730862037
There was that muffler mechanic that one time.

racist

>>730854076
your mom... ohhhhhhhhh!!!!

>>730854076
One time a guy said hed chew me up and spit me out, and i told him the only thing he chews up and spits out are cocks and cum

>>730854076
Sometimes I call people, 'cuck'. You should see the look on their faces. They're all like...

>Did he just call me a cuck unironically? Does he think that makes him sound tough? This guy is like 36, why is he using Internet meme language like a 14 year old autistic child?

>>730862846
sooo... you want him to chew up your cock and spit it out? :/

>>730854076
You're a yard-sale cock ring of a human being.

>>730857208
Marry her

>>730862846
Why did you call yourself a cock and/or wad of cum?

You're as useless as a knitted condom
The BP oil spill is second biggest accident this century second only to your birth

>>730863089
>The BP oil spill is second biggest accident this century second only to your birth

Could clean that up a bit. Using the word 'second' twice is cluttered.

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>>730854076

When you were born, the doctor took one look at you and slapped your mother.

An intellectual argument with you is kind of like me swatting a fly with a Buick.

I have better things to do today than than argue with the mentally handicapped.

You look like you were born at the top of the world's tallest ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

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My go-to is,
>Your mother was a very brave woman for raising you with your condition.

But my favorite little insult happened exactly once and I still think about it
>nignog co-worker asks to use my phone to call his girlfriend
>"Yea, here you go dude. Just press redial."

That was 5 years ago and I still think about it.

You'll never be half the man your mother was

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>>730864093
I gotta remember that one.

>>730854076
Nerd

>>730862997
>>730863080
Man, you guys have got to have a touch of the downs.

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There's something about old, outdated terms for "dumbass" that cracks me up.
>idiot
>oaf
>baffoon
>hooligan
>moron/maroon
>nimrod
And before someone replies with "WELL ACTUALLY, NIMROD MEANS"
I know what it means, but Bugs Bunny said it and there is no one in reality or fiction cooler than Bugs Bunny.

>>730864436
not as much as your mother touches my downs.... OHHHHHHHHHH

>>730854076

You are more useless than tits on a bowl