Describe your perfect woman

Dead

>>730779218
Fpbp

>>730778957
2D

>>730779218
Beat me to it.

Woman? What is a woman?

Skinny, short, big fake tits, nice lips, eyes that aren't brown.

>>730778957
That sommer bitch isnt even hot. Just a great ass, that's it.

white

One that reacts right to the chloroform.

>>730779621
This, but big real tits, blonde, waxed, tighter than an infant and negro

Pregnant and cooking.

>>730779815
just kidding about the negro part

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pic related

>>730779836
Pregnancy is hot, but it leads to kids

>>730779815
But the real tits are gonna sag like crazy, man.

Plays mario kart but isn't good enough at it to beat me

>>730779836
Hot

a 12 year old shemale furry

cute penis

>>730778957
>Describe your perfect woman
Pale, has freckles, blonde or ginger, has natural tits, long legs, shaved, and can get it on.

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Chris presses his lips against mine tightly, and I wrap my legs around him. He holds my ass and squeezes it. I think of all the experimenting we've done to come up with something perfect, and eventually giving up on getting a routine and just deciding to have extremely passionate sex every night. Chris starts battling with my tongue and eventually he wins. I feel him let go of my ass and I stand again. He pushes me against the glass and starts taking off my shorts. As he starts with my shirt, I pull his pants down, then his shirt also. I put him on the table, getting on top of him, and take off his boxers. I hear moans from the class as they see his amazing dick. Chris gets on top of me and takes off my bra and thong. More moans, and I hear James also. I take Chris's dick and put it into my pussy a little bit, him then jamming it in me, causing me to moan really loudly. He presses into me harder and harder and harder and I scream with lust, my hands gripping the sides of the table. He sits up and lets his muscle filled weight push his dick into me. His hands squeeze my breasts.

All of what Chris is doing right now sends a powerful feeling of sexiness throughout my body. I get on top, and take his dick out of me, but he jams it right back in and gets on top. I take it out, and he puts it back in. Each time he jams it back in I moan with immense passion. He grabs my hips and waist area, puts me on my back, and pulls me toward him so my pussy is pressed hard against his balls. I grab his lower thighs and pull myself closer to him.

"OHHH!" I scream. "MMMNF. OHHHH GOD. OHHHHH. CHRIS. CHRIS. CHRISSSS! BABY OHHH." He gets out me quickly, and stands up, leaning against the glass. I walk over and get on my knees. Chris puts his dick into my mouth and i suck hard, loving the taste of his dick.

>>730778957
>4' tall
>300lbs
>Always lactating
>Smells like Taco Bell
>Full 70's bush
>Will cook me grilled cheese every day
>Fertile/give me lots of kids

>Has no job, has no real direction in life, doesn't know what to do, extremely dumb, but good looking

I don't want to be 'that guy' but a girl who's obsessed with me to the point of stalking (not out to ruin my life type of stalking) and isn't fat/ugo is ideal for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_k46ZRV9t0&t=73s

>>730778957

Catgoddess-ish

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like dis

>>730778957
Real tits, no sag, symmetry, no nailpolish(hides health issues&injuries) not an sjw faggot, good character, not a shill, not a whore, real lips, no lipstick, healthy stock, doesn't whore on the interwebs, likes memes, intelligent, isn't real.

>>730779628
no shit

Define perfect... My gf is not 10/10 but she is perfect for me...

Any girl that will take me....

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>>730780615

>>730780881
this

>>730780900
Checked

>>730780678
you had me going until that last one

>>730778957
White

>>730780881
/thread

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>>730778957
Not her, who the fuck dresses like that to a bowling alley? My perfect woman isn't a whore on the street namean?

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Half Mexican
Half European
Light brown hair that glows in the sun
Cute face
Listens to metal
Kind hearted
Laid back
Has a geeky side
Thick but not too thick
And finally a proportianate to her size bubble butt

>>730780395
who is this? hella cute.

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>>730781076
Holy fuck, same nibba

>>730780121
Brown eyes
>>730780128
Clearly about to star in a porno
Dissapointed fam

5"2
Thick
Blue eyes
Black Hair
Games a bit
Loves memes
Intelligent
Nerdy
Loves you more than anything

Me^

>4ft tall
>79lbs
>nymphomaniac with attachment disorder and in need of father figure
>2% body hair
>Bold and unafraid of fisting
>Power complex sated by giving and receiving orgasms
>Big believer in personal/individual accountability and self-direction.
>Vigorous masturbator.
>Female and pretty.
So, in other words, nobody.

>>730781427
Prove it.

>>730781662
Stop right there faggot.

>>730781427
proof?

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>>730778957

>>730779949
She can get em all faked-up when that happens, then.

>>730779968
I am

>>730781224
Is there not just something about that Mexican European mix? Also I made that list years ago and ended up meeting a girl who fits it down the last detail. We hang out all the time and I will wife her or die trying.

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>>730778957
>cooks
>cleans
>has sex with me

i've been alive 31 years and have not yet found a woman who has fulfilled all 3 of these things

the third thing has been ESPECIALLY troublesome

Why do people even like huge tits? What's wrong with small, really cute tits that don't sag?

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she looks exactly like this

>>730781076
Mexicans fart too much

>>730780191
You can currently get one of those at any taco bell.

>>730780789
fag

>>730778957
a girl with an ass like that.. and a good personality

>>730781981
And Europeans don't fart enough.

Cooking

>>730781895
Ayy lmao

>>730778957
a girl with a nice tones ass. Not this fat shit

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>>730778957

Basically this

Tawnee Stone

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Her.

>>730778957
straight off giyp

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>>730778957

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>>730782452
Her

>>730782602
That's some "You fall in love you lose" level shit right there.

>>730778957
Perfection cannot be described by mere humans.

Kinky as fuck, gets along with me well enough, takes care of their body, probably games a bit, doesn't give me shit about my guns or at least doesn't give a shit, loyal, and at least vaguely cute. Willing to deepthroat and do anal from time to time.

Current GF basically hits all of those except the last one. She can only get into it if you face fuck her.

>>730782381
damn breh... i'm a fat retarded shitlord beta faggot and even My standards ain't that low...

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Basically Emilia Clarke

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>>730782943
I know.

>>730778957
THICCC
redpilled
loyal

literally dont exist in Australia they are all ravist leftist idiots

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>>730778957

>>730783449
I like em that young. She's gotta be almost 14 right anon?

a fat assed jewess with nigger lips.

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>>730783658
Use your imagination.

>>730782165
If fag = happy then yes..

>>730783842
Those glasses alone are doing it for me.

not a fickle whore

>>730782602
>>730783449
>>730783842
damn she reminds me of my friend Rebecca
fell in love at first sight and have never been any further than being thoroughly friendzoned, cause i'm a shitlord faggot and she only has ever dated/fucked alpha males with impressive jawlines
oh well, death's sweet embrace will comfort me soon enough

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>>730781662
>>730781740

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>>730784219
No lies. Her name is Rebecca. Her mom is hot too.

busty, passing, non-crazy, trap with a feminine penis

>>730784219
just get /fit/ you niglet.

Then fake it till you make it.

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>>730782602
Bangs + glasses. Oh that's my shit.

>>730784219
>>730784484
this

and grow a beard to hide your weak jaw

black hair, red highlights, asian.

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>>730778957
This right here.

Slightly chubby, loves sex as much as me, big boob's, round ass and a pussy that looks like a paper cut on a marshmallow

>>730784411
fucking Rebeccas
i've never heard of a Rebecca who wasn't gorgeous and lovable

I'd settle for a rational, reasonable and intelligent woman. Someone who is not an emotional wreck constantly tip-toeing from one episode of high drama to the next. Someone you can actually talk to without having to worry about some part of her emotionally imbalanced brain getting triggered by your use of the word "but" in a simple and innocent sentence. Someone who will actually contribute to the household rather than spend her time complaining about it. Someone you can actually talk to.

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>>730778957
Taylor Swift

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Huge tits, wide hips, and red hair.

>>730784777

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>>730785090

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>>730785168

>>730778957
Long blonde hair, pale skin, brown eyes, DD cup, down for anything, huge thrillseeker, lets me do my own thing when I want to.

>>730785168
>>730785460

she's ultra cute and nerdy-sexy

Under 5 feet
Under 115 lbs
Can deep throat like a pro


I cant think of anything else I'd need

>>730786141
Not having to deal with her irrational, emotional tantrums?

>>730786375
Can be suppressed with a heavy dosage of vitamin D.

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>>730778957
tall, fit, strong,
terrorizer of mortals, destroyer of jegars
sense of humor, fun in bed
acid spray and wings
and she would of won too, if Gypsy didn't fucking cheat

>>730778957
dead

>>730778957
no such thing

>>730787019
This guy is wise beyond his years

>>730783764
Holy fuck. R.Crumb is a /b/tard.

>>730786889
>would of

How does anyone who has spent more than two weeks on the internet still not understand that it's "would've" or "would have", not fucking "HURR DURR WOULD OF"

>>730787429
Thank you anon.
I tried my best to keep it in, but it started to hurt my teeth and you beat me to it.

>>730786889
Most women described in this thread will probably stay at home and cook, maybe get a job. MY perfect lady helps me conquer empires

>>730778957
OVER THE LINE MARK IT ZERO

>>730781895
lol, found these qualities in 3 women so far. still not satisfied.
women always take more than they give.

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>>730787429
>>730787627
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY WAIFU

>>730784880
unstable slut? Great catch. good luck holding on to that one for more than a week.

Anyone whos not a black woman. Also not a current/ex coal burner or tag chaser.

>>730788073
Good luck holding onto your sanity for more than a week you mean...

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*-*

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>>730779218

>>730788165
Well, she'd be down for some freaky shit at least. And she'd put up with pretty much anything...

>>730780128
Name?

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ez she's on the right

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>>730782796
Yes.. she has beautiful ass

>>730787654
Mine is just able to function as a reasonable and rational human being, but if she can help me conquer empires as well I'd see that as a bonus.

>>730781847
got any pics of her f@m

>>730789290
>perfect woman
>black
nice meme

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>>730781076
This is basically my gf except she's half hungarian and half ukranian, and she doesn't listen to metal.

pic related

>>730789425
Kekd

Asian, does what I say and 12yo

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>>730789479

>>730778957
>describe your perfect woman
has a penis

>>730789479
>>730789549

i wanna fuck and pump my seed into your gf

how much?

None exist. Gotta work for it.

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Looks like pic related.
Smart, obviously.
Likes sci-fi stuff; would force me to watch Dr. Who and whatnot.
Understands me, and understands how to deal with the occasional hardcore autism.
Either Christian, or will allow me to send the children to church, at least to learn morals and such.
Wants many (around 6) children. Not likely, with that body type.
Enjoys metal. As I don't mind boy band shit like Blink 182 and MCR, there would probably be some compromise.
Plays the piano, and can sing.
Cooking is nice too, but unnecessary.
Plays video games; not necessary, but appreciated.
Can FUCKING SPELL PROPERLY. Being able to spell other words is nice, too.
Manners; at least knows how to set the table with a salad fork and steak knife.
Wears clothes beyond band hoodies; no short shorts.
Would be okay with having a secondary bed in the bedroom, for those bad nights.
Redpilled, on a basic level.

I think you get the picture.

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>>730789639
sawwy i got dibs anon, plus I'm not even sure if she can ever go back to smaller dicks after being with me for almost a year now lol

>>730778957
A "real" woman can never be perfect. Waifus are the way to go.

>>730789792
>brags about big dick
>doesn't post dick

nice meme

> Describe your perfect woman
> perfect woman
> woman
One with no penis

Dead but still warm.

>>730779628

Mustache eyebrows, fucked up ass forearm and obviously into the blacks

>>730789700
Best luck anon

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>>730789880
meh truth is truth, convincing somebody I'll never meet is kinda just not worth my time

>>730789952
Thanks. With that shopping list, and then some, I'll need it.

>>730789700
who is that

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>>730789999
>Quads

>>730778957
definitely not that

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>>730790071
No idea. Got it on /b/ in December. I do have some similat stuff

>>730778957
Loyal, cares about her outward appearance.
Might as well be looking for a unicorn, in this day and age.

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>>730778957

>>730790467
unicorns exist, but they're looking for black stallions like me

An adorable and slightly nerdy asian basically checks off everything in my perfect girl checklist. Maybe thicc but I think asians look cuter with smaller tits

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Thread slow; I bump with cute girl.

>>730790687
Ahh, oh well, less social anxiety for me.

>>730778957
A pale, dark chestnut/auburn haired, semi-nerdy misogynist who wants to hunt down and share other hot chicks with me. She'd be super analytical and logic oriented, unable to get pregnant and not interested in children anyways, fiercely loyal, and capable of feigning innocence while being a total whore in bed. I also have a soft spot for women who enjoy martial arts, and would love her to be into muay tai. Definitely interested in recreational chemicals, but not a junkie. And fit. That pretty much covers it.

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Return of the Bumpasaurus

>>730782796
That's some old school hotness, newfriend. I wish I had a dollar for every fantasy of mine that involved her.

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>>730791595
She'd look like pic related.

>>730782381
I can dig that type. Chubby/short hair is hot. I prefer a bit less chub, but more cushion for the pushin'.

>>730789700
>smart
>Christian
Pick one

>>730778957
A hot slut who cooks and cleans and is all mine.
Also similar interests and an ability to have a stimulating conversation wouldn't hurt.

>>730780615
hips a bit wide for me imo but gaddam them be birthing hips
>>730784951
I dunno about HUGE, maybe like accentuated? Decently curvy but not overly so.
>>730789700
>Dr. Who
xD gfy nigger

>>730784875
:( if only we gay

>>730794366
This 100%

>>730783449
The perfect girl. With a forehead you can use as sandpaper.

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>>730783409
agreed

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>>730789290
Shes mixed i believe but god damn beautiful.
Would fuck the shit out of her

>>730788604

WEEBS DansGame

>>730781323
nice feet