Hey /b/ can you give me your darkest jokes? I need them for my

>>730738186
How do you get a faggot to fuck a woman?
You stuff her cunt full shit.

>>730738186
Bump

>>730738186
Whats worse than a baby in a trashcan?
A baby in ten trashcans!

>>730739028
I like the version that goes:

What's worse worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? One dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

>>730738186
What do parents gift to their children for their first birthday in Africa? Flowers on their graves.

>>730738186
What's the definition of a redneck virgin?

A 12 year old girl who can run faster than her brothers.

>>730738186
What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?


I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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What always keeps 9 out of 10 people happy.
Gang rape

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What does dark humor and a kid with cancer have in common?
They never get old.
Why was the 1 year old African crying?
He was having a midlife crisis.
And finally for you fags.
Oral makes my day, but anal makes my hole weak.

>>730738186
What did the fish say when he hit a wall

Dam

>>730740794
MODZ!!!!

>>730738186
What's the difference between a frozen pizza and a jew?

The pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven

>>730740794
Two fish are in a tank, one fish looks at the other and says, "You know how to drive this thing?"

What's the best thing about pedophilia?

How huge your dick looks in their hands.

My wife walked in on me fucking my daughter last night. I don't know what I found funnier, the look on her face, or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep it.

How do you know if your sister's on her period? Your dad's cock tastes like blood.

My teacher raped me in junior high. I was home schooled.

How do you satisfy nine out of ten people? Gang rape.

What do you do when an epileptic has a fit in your bathtub?
Throw in your laundry.

>>730738186
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a bag of dead babies?

I don't get off to a Lamborghini

Why did the the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.

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How do you make a 10 year old boy cry twice?

wipe the blood off your dick with his teddy bear.

Where do you put a black jew?
In the back of the oven.

United Airlines has really gone downhill lately. 16 years ago they'd have taken you straight to your office.

All these holocaust jokes arent funny guys, my grandfather died in an internment camp, he fell off the watch tower.

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Our president.

>>730741573
My grandfather died in an internment camp too. Another guard fell out of a watchtower and landed on him.

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>>730742095

>>730740643
where' s this from?

-daddy whats pedophile?
-shut the fuck up and keep sucking

>>730740643
sauce?

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>>730742228
I'll just speed this whole thing up

How do you fit 30 jews in a car?
2 in the front.. 3 in the back... and 25 in the ashtray.

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>>730742095

>>730742602
Huh i heard that joke at a nofx concert like 7 years ago

hows Lil John figured out her sister was in her first period?

His dad dick tastes like blood

>>730742957
What does this even mean?

>>730738186
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawkings in a house fire

>>730741225
Not funny dude.

My brother died having an epileptic fit in the bath.
He choked on a sock...

What's the difference between cancer and black people? Cancer got Jobs.

What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Getting the diaper back on.

The best thing about fucking twenty three year olds?

There's twenty of them!

>>730738186
I just got back from the ultrasound clinic with my wife. I'm just so happy to learn that in a few months time we're going to have a beautiful baby girl. This is the happiest day of my life, I'm really over the moon.

Finally, I can stop all this gay shit with my son.

>>730742937
It's pretty old. That post is from 2008

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"
"Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter!"
"Thanks dad!"
"No problem Alan"

What's the hardest thing about seeing a little kid being hit by a car?
My dick

>>730738186
what's blue 14 inches and will make any woman scream? crib death

Feminism

OP i'm going to be honest i've had some hard times in my life. We all have. So I have some jokes i've made to cope.

What happens when it rains 3 times in the following conditions? The conditions being your birthday, your first kiss, and when you graduated?

You get run over by a bus. LOL.

Got 2 for you faggots.

So I was eating out my girlfriend the other day when I recognized the taste of horse semen, then it hit me. That must have been how grandma died.


I was fucking my girlfriend the other day when she told me she has herpes.
How the fuck does a 7 year old get herpes?

Guess my sister has been hanging out with the wrong crowd

Why do crows steal? 'cause they're black

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>>730742028

>>730742095
My grandad died in Auschwitz; he broke his back while he was carrying two dead officers to the morgue.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall?
depends how hard you through them

>>730745439
*throw

You had one job. One job faggot, and you cocked it up.

>>730744515

I was fucking this girl the other day when she stuck her finger up my ass. She said "did you like that?" "Fuck yeah!"

Just kidding.

So I was fucking this guy in the ass the other day when he turned around and tried to kiss me. I punched him in the jaw and shouted "what are you, gay? TURN BACK AROUND!"

Depression: why treat it when you can end it

>>730746140
BOOOONDOOOCK SAAAIIINTTTSSS

do you just watch that movie on loop?

>>730744379
i dont get it

So I was eating out my mom last night and I tasted horse semen, I couldn't help but wonder, is that gow she died?

>>730746810
>>730746810
No, I was told that joke long before I saw Boondock Saints.

Also in the movie it's "I wanted to cuddle" "cuddle?! What a fag".

What would you call batman and robin if they were black?

Niggers