my best friend since 4th grade tried to fuck my gf. she told

Give him a lap dance

Use a cactus to give him a lap dance.

>>730650147
What an odd looking fellow. Just ask him about it.

Apply lotion to the cactus, then make him give it a lap dance.

Find a fresh cactus, do not apply lotion, tell him to give it a lap dance, explaining that he's progressing smoothly.

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>>730650147
tbh if i were you i'd just confront him about it, or beat the shit out of him

>>730650147
Just tell him stirnly that that sort of behavior isn’t okay. If he does it again, break up your house-sharing.

Procure a third cactus, deprickle it, and instruct him to reprickle it while giving it a lap dance.

>>730650147
this fake snap makes less sense than most, op you're a fucking idiot

>>730651323
already did, I gave him the chance to apologize and he lied to make it seem like it was my gf's fault. He didnt realize that she had showed me all the snapchat messages by taking a pic of them with another phone. I called him out for lying and he just sighed and walked away.

X

>>730651833
pic is unrelated. hope this is bait.

>>730651323
also beating the shit out of him isnt an option he could easily beat me in a fight.

hey nathnial

>>730652808
.... That guy could kick your ass and you somehow managed to find a girlfriend? Are you as odd looking as him?

>>730652808
And why could he easily kick your ass?

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>>730650147
dose his drink with 1000 mcg of acid. Fuck his shit up good

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>>730650147

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WHY DO YOU FAGGOTS BELIEVE EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET.

>>730653902
thats a pretty good idea actually. hard to get acid where I live though. everyone around here only sells research chems

>>730654280
pic unrelated

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>>730653538
this is me

>>730653538
Ok well that guy is a dumb ass "Are you as odd looking as him" nigga what, drink bleach you stupid.

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>>730653538
this is him (shitty pics but I didn't wanna grab a twitter pics to be reverse image searched)

>>730650147
First thing you need to do is reward your girlfriend for her loyalty by eating her out for a full night

>>730650147
Beat him up like we used to do in the old days.

>>730653845
4in taller than me and more fit, I haven't fought anyone since middle school.

>>730654440
Who's a dumbass exactly?

>>730654513
Still fight him you dumb cunt, don't be a pussy.

>>730650147
fucking X

>>730654675
sorry I'm gonna be a pussy

>>730654513
would also post pics of gf but she's underage

>>730654570
>this

Also OP just fucking confront him about it and tell him to get his own girl. sound fearless

>>730654570
planned on it

I would be suspicious of the girlfriend if I were you. She may just be starting drama. The guy even said it was her fault. Chicks love their drama.

>>730654570
Yeah this, eat her ass til she squirts

Beating up your housemate is probably the most effective and satisfying solution, but don't get your ass kicked or fuck him up bad enough to catch an assault charge over it

>>730654853
he (did?) have is own girl, she's attractive too. don't get the need to be a man whore when his girl put out plenty. I guess I kinda already got him for it by telling her but idk if she actually left him or not

>>730654935
where did he say it was her fault?

>>730654935
she had proof, and no motive to start shit for no reason. she's not like that.

>>730655136
hm, idfk still stand up for yourself man

>>730655234
he tried to tell me that he was sorry for talking to her but she was the one coming on to him because she kept looking at him while she was at my house or some shit honestly was too pissed off atm to remember.

>>730652652
you need to confront him harder anon, you need to get mad, force your dominance.


go into his room and pee on everything he owns to show him who's the real man

>>730655379
from a dude who has dealt with the same response that nig is a lying prick

>>730655379
if u fuck em both itll show em whos boss

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>>730650147
>guy hits on gril
>OP surprised

Big fucking deal. Grow a pair you retard.

>>730655532
>this

>>730655240
They don't need a motive. You said she's underage right? She's immature and probably has a crush on the guy so shes playing games with both of you. I would drop her like a hot potato if I were you.

>>730655532
hmm maybe

>>730655639
Have you even touched a woman?

>>730655599
true dude shouldn't have expected loyalty / human decency from someone I've known for nearly 10 years and literally never wronged

>>730655842
Yes, why do you ask? Were you unaware that women liketo play head games?

>>730650147
Kill him
Poison him
Mutilate his shrimp dick
Rape him his sleep
Kidnap him without him knowing it's you and sell him ass a sex slave
Turn him into a trap and put him to work

>>730655240
They are all like that dood.