ITT: we all work in an office

>>730616233
Please have those TPS reports on my desk after lunch

please have lunch in the fridge so I can steal it without anyone detecting

Somebody shit in the urinal again

Who the fuck took my stapler?

Guys, it seems that plane is flying towards us.

Where is my fucking pen, godammit???

Why does your sharpie always smell like shit?

when am i getting that cost of living raise??? rent in this city is nuts! i swear im about to just quit and go travel abroad on my savings.

>>730616495
Holy shit, you're right. I DOES look like that plane is flying at us.

>>730616619
Then quit jerry, no one gives a shit about your problems

I got a case of the Mondays

>>730616554
Jamal probably took it. He stole my stapler last week.

my internet isn't working

have you tried unplugging it and plugging back in?

thanks it faggot

>>730616685

I don't pay you guys to stand around looking out the window! Get back to work slackers!

Can we stop hiring so many niggers please?

>>730616721
You need a case of shutthefuckupsies

Fuck Jerry. We don't need you here just quit

>>730616698
fuck off the only way to get a raise around here is to bitch, otherwise they just keep you in the same position for years

finds stapler in pudding

>>730616481
you gotta earn that job you internship cuck.. it better be slidding down your throat by the time I come back

>>730616800
Tom we talked about this, you can't keep calling them by that name, and please stop hanging black dolls around the office, it's February for Christ sake

The blacks are starting a gang in the parking lot after work. Don't tell Jerry

Does anyone know how to use this new printer?

tom to HR

"My keyboards not working"
Is it plugged in?
"I don't know what the hell that means! Stop speaking all technical and just get down here and fix it now!"

thanks A LOT tom for sniffing stephanies seat.. now we all have to go for ''sensitivity training''

>>730616233
As the boss of all you ants, my tiny shit cardbox cage has a door while yours are open to your back. Ants!

This chair isn't big enough! I'm going to sue because you're discriminating against my conditions. Also I have know idea where everyone's food in the fridge went

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>>730617207
chill, Tom just got back from AGDQ and they're making a motion picture about him. we're going to be famous! here's the trailer from the you tube

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hey guys, I've got a pizza here for a Stevie Stevinelli, can someone sign for it?

3 years of college for this shit. It ain't worth it man.

>>730617308
Fuck you rob, you fat fuck, I bet if there was food on the floor you'd find a way to fit in that chair, god forbid you have to bend over to pick it up

Got this nice sharpie from ben. It writes in brown, isn't that cool?

Billy's in trouble at school again for trying to stab someone with safety scissors because they made fun of his weight again. Can someone cover for me?

>>730617623
fuck off mandy and dorcas are already on maturity leave, i have enough extra work as it is

not me mutherfuckers. I work from home everyday and I love it.

>>730617685

Thanks for nothing Tom. Just wait till you have kids, you'll see!

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>speaks very loudly while on phone so that everybody can hear

>>730617766
At least Tom won't raise his kid to be a fat cuck

>>730617766
Just because you were too much of a slut to have him use a condom doesn't somehow translate to it being somehow my problem. Now get back to work whore

>>730616233

this is tax inspection.
Show me all your books and give me an office work work in faggots

someone sign for the fucking pizza, thankyou please

>>730617988
What the fuck are we exporting again?

>>730617988
oh fuck the auditors are here, someone set the building on fire

Marcus I need that report on my desk by tomorrow. I've been lenient up to this moment, but you've taken advantage of my patience and now it's comes to this. Tomorrow I sit down in front of that report or your letter of resignation.

>>730618119
Only bananas and flour. Think about the briefing.

See you guys later, I'm gonna go take a shit

>>730616233
Hey Janet can you call the IT guy for me please?

>>730616233
Kyle, I don't know exactly how to phrase this, but...uhhh...you do realize we monitor you Internet activity right? Naked animal cartoon characters are treated the same as regular porn and can be grounds for termination. Please, um, just don't look at that shit at work Kyle.

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>>730616233
*cough*

>>730616233
>send mailbomb to "every man excepting every woman" to hold the breath and fart synchronously at 11:00

>>730616233
>*PASSES GAS LOUDLY*

>>730616767
i aint do shit nigga

Did you also get that email from the new IT desk in Bangalore, asking for your user credentials?

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Check out aubreys ass dude

>>730616800
Better yet, where do they find all these baboons that know how to use a computer

>>730618630
Why are you spying on me? That's illegal! You have no reason to spy on me!

I've sold the company and they're going to do your jobs half as well for pennies on the dollar. Everyone get the fuck out of my building.

>>730619222
The digits honor dat ass.

>>730619222
side note, i HATE formal 'office' wear, it NEVER shows off hotties' boobs or asses. fucking stupid

So, which one of you smelly Indians shaved a bear on floor 3?

>>730619442
Good luck, calling the union, enjoy concrete galoshes

>>730619442
Fine but I'm taking that pizza

>>730619580
Yeah so you can concentrate on work

>>730619723
oh fucking please we all know they want to show off and i want to dick around by staring at them.. who the hell wants to work during the day? i'm just sitting on reddit otherwise anyways

Hey guys, I'm Tony the new guy.. This is my first time working as a robot, so I would appreciate some help in my first few says here. Thanks!

Hostile take over.

OK all you anons listen up. This office is now mine and you had better get with the program or you are out of here.

I don't give a fuck that you've worked here for years you got one chance to sign a new contract or you are gone.

I want all signatures on my desk by lunchtime tomorrow.

JP - CEO.

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>hello? I'm calling for my husband Frank in accounting please.

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>>730616233
you're all fired

>>730619990
JP's a doosher

>>730620099
sorry hun Frank is in a meeting.. say, do you want to meet up again later?? i know he's not giving you what you want (;

>>730620099
I'm sorry mam but social calls on company phones are forbidden during the workday.

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>>730616233
I can't wait for smelly feet friday

>>730620099
Frank is under my desk sucking me off just to keep his job.

He can't take your call right now.

JP - CEO

>>730619906
Stay away from Tom

>>730620175
You enjoy the fact that personnel are writing out your marching orders right fucking now boy?

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>>730619906
Here tony, take this AR and shoot every human you see

>>730620402
Tom is a faggot.

JP

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Hey man its me Jeffrey! You know who, the one 3 blocks down from you? The Jef-free, the Jeffroo!! AHAH you know it my manne.
So how you enjoying your day?

>>730620591
>people like this exist

Can I get a copy of the 22?

Who's stretched cling film across the toilet seats again?

>>730620591
Jeffarooney you do realise while you're chatting with your friends and colleagues that your speed average has dropped below what we here at the company consider adequate?

JP

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Someone keep eating my lunch that put in the refrigerator. I swear I will put cyanide in it

Bathroom is clogged... again

>>730620976
Jeff will sort that just put a call in to maintenance.

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>>730620814
AHAH Very funny Boss!! You p-possibly dont mean that do you Boss? its okay i already did my work for the day

>>730620933
T-That'd be me, Jefferey! You know who the one! 5 blocks to the left 1 in front and 7 to the back from you! I I'm sorry man i was really hungry... I-Ill buy you a soda tho! or maybe some McDonalds! I cant be too expensive tho, i dont have much mony

>>730621338
hahahahahah that image edit, serious keks

>>730616685
Close the curtains. Problem solved.