You just found a genie. Your three wishes, go!!

>>730473361
Infinite money
Immortality
3rd isn't necessary because I can get everything with those two.

>>730473502
>You age

3 new wishes every time i use the third wish.!!

12 inch penis
a good pair of socks
and santa claus to be real

Infinite money
Immortality
Body transformation

>>730473361
Wish 1: an inch or two more to my penis,
Wish 2: better social skills
Wish 3: better physical health/less weight
I'm a simple man.

Knowledge
Peace
Wealth

To become a hot girl
To be transported to a universe where hot girls get everything they ever want.
Ageless immortality until I choose to die.

cheap, clean, safe, renewable source of energy for humanity
world peace
billion dollars for me, (thats more than plenty, no need to be greedy)

>>730474006
>To be transported to a universe where hot girls get everything they ever want.
thats literally earth

See Zissman's nudes
See Trumps Bean Bag
See who'd win between Trump and Kim

>>730473573
Depends on the type of immortality. If my cells regenerate continuously then I won't age.

All my debt gone
Be up just 2000usd
And to have my true love back

i was always wondering, when people say "i want to be happy", why not simply "i want everyone to be happy"? you have nothing to lose and infinity to gain.

i wish everyone was happy and not without a reason.
this would probably eliminate most if not all of the crime too.

>>730474168
If everyone was happy then no violent video games would be made. Fuck that.

1. You, genie can never harm me in any way, whether it be directly or indirectly.
2. I will always have the abilty to over power and rape you. You reffering to genie and rape defind as force myself undisirably upon you in a violent, painful, and sexual manner.
3.you, genie, will never be able to grant wishes to others.

Then i tell them they can either be rapped for eternaty or grant any wish i want for as long as i want.

We can be cool with one another and you just do magic for me when and if it needs done or i can rape you endlessly.

Either way i win

Trips
Quads
Quints

>>730474278
Rapped? Like Eminem Style?

>>730473361
1. To know everything.
2. For the genie to be dead
3.???
Profit

>>730474238
i dont think so.
the concept of violence doesnt have to come from unhappiness.
it's not that "humanity would know no crime/violence", it's just that they didn't really need it. i mean, we know dragons and you dont see them everyday... even though this isn't the best comparison it terms of "likeliness"

>>730474488
>1. To know everything.
You'd probably go insane and lose your mind the instant this happens.

>>730474607
er, s/didn't/wouldn't/

fuck grammur

>>730474607
If everyone were happy then the only crime committed would be by psychos that enjoy killing and the like.

>>730473361
Please make me look at people like i used to, before i had my "left eye" theory.

Please bring lasting happiness to everyone in the universe.

Please dont twist my words against me and make these wishes come true the way i intend them to

>>730473361
I want an infinity of wishs.

>>730473361
being able to modify my body as i please
eternal youth
Immortality

>>730473361
Health for all those I care about
Money
Be free, genie!

>>730475024
>being able to modify my body as i please
that's not that deep bro

>>730473361
i wish my body was remade in the image of my best genetics potential

I wish i was ageless

i wish i was immortal with a way to die.

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Is there a alternative and legal drug like Rohypnol?


And these are for Educational Purposes Only. I just want to know.

Infinite Money
Being able to grant anyone Immortality (for example myself and my family & friends)
A perfect body

>>730474488
>1. To know everything.
Your brain won't be able to remember all of that.

>>730473361
1 Give me Dubs
2 grant me x times dubs of wishes
3 create god and destroy god to confirm god doesnt exist

1.Teleportation
2.Immortality
3.invulnerability

I will just teleport my ass to another planet and live there and offer NASA to teleport to planets to make colonys

>>730474488
If you knew everything you would also know how much of a faggot you are. Unless you know already.

> Power to influence/brainwash/persuade people

> Immortality

> Mandy Moore's "I Wanna Be With You" album on cassette

>>730475486
>And
thats another wish you cuck

1. stop the fags.
2. become a jew.
3. check the trips

>>730475754
1. This guy gets cancer
2. Make cancer slow
3. Give failed chemotherapy at least 50 times
>worth it

>>730475956
1>Immune to cancer
2>Give him cancer
3>no immunities

>>730473361
Immortaility
A solution to the problem of memory and imortaility
magical powers

>>730474732
All them Jokers running around killing with a smile on thei faces

Everybody happy for them.

>>730476119
if dubs, invalidates, and reverses any post made by this fag, indefinitely

>>730476119
lucky asshole

>>730476328
>if dubs, invalidates, and reverses any post made by this fag, indefinitely

>>730473361

Rape her ... Not sure if a wish

>>730473361
>Unlimited wishes
>Anything else I want

>>730476380
>*>if dubs, invalidates, and reverses any post made by this fag, indefinitely

>>730473361
The ability to stop time
immortality
and eternal youth

I want to be omnipotent

Spose I could use the other two but would it really matter at that point.

>>730473361
1. I wish anime were real
2. I wish I could pilot giant robots in space
3. I wish for your freedom, genie woman!

Also, genie woman, I love you. Can we be friends and touch my penor? That's not a wish, though, tat's just ask really nicely after she is freedom.

>narcissistic businessman
>runs for president
>more than half the country votes for him
>wins

>>730474732
But then the people they are killing won't be happy?

>Dr Manhattan powers
>Free the genie

Done

The ability to morph reality as i see fit.
To fuck the genie
To release the genie

>>730473361
1) common courtesy becomes immutable natural law for all sapient beings.
2) humanity is elevated to the medical, scientific, and societal level of a golden age, with bodily rejuvenation, interstellar travel, wealth equality, and risk-free public sex being the norms.
3) the prior two wishes apply equally and completely to myself, the genie, and all sapient life equally.

>>730474628
but you would know how to stay sane despite of it

You faggots wishing for immortality will regret it before you even become 18...

>>730473361
Immortality obviously (and obviously I wouldnt age) i'm assuming the genie can sort of tell I wouldnt want to age im sure he gets this one all the time

Telekinesis

Time machine. (For convenience sake lets say it looks like the TARDIS)

-eternal youth
-limtless telekinesis
-xavier level telepathy

>>730473361

1. 10,000 of practice in music prod, finger snap style

2. At-will Immortality for myself and fam

3. Delete dis anxiety

>>730477654
You cant wish for omnipotence you fucking moron theres no way thats how it works. Plus omnipotence isnt a thing anyway.


Lets say you make a rock that cannot under any circumstances be picked up by anything. And then you try to pick it up. If you cant pick it up then there you go theres something you cant do and therefore you are not omnipotent. If you are able to pick up the rock then you are not able to create a rock that cannot be picked up and are still not omnipotent. The headache of these paradoxes would make anyone swear off ultimate power.

Bring Hitler back
Bring Hitler back
Bring Hitler back

>>730477992
If you wish for eternal youth remember to wish for an equally large memory because otherwise you'd just have a normal sized memory and you'd just start forgetting shit like your family and everyone you've ever known and then you may aswell be dead anyway because if they cant live forever, if it's just you. Then you atleast need your memory. It's what makes you you

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>>730474488
>1. To know everything

>>730478206
...Then just don't make paradoxe ?

1. self-discipline
2. confidence
3. knowing what i want to do in life

Question.

How come if we all want so desperately to live longer (I'm assuming its always been this way) we havent just evolved to not die so fucking soon? We've had long enough for that surely as far as evolution is concerned

>>730473361
be my genie gf

>>730478448
Are you retarded? Having "ultimate power" over reality is itself a paradox. You're so very clearly not intelligent enough to cope with the theoretical side of all this never mind if god forbid you were ever able to actually put it into practice. Serious question though I know it sounds edgy and condescending and sarcastic but what does it FEEL like to be an idiot?

>>730478510
We have
People used to die much earlier than today, but evolution takes time, a lot of time

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>>730473361

1. For my thoughts to become reality at a whim (reality warping)
2. For a limiting lock/unlock feature on said ability
And I'd honestly ask the genie about their life story, so as to know where they came from and how they gained the ability to grant powers. Autistic, yes but, who knows what kind of shit you can learn from their answer? Maybe you find out that the Qu'ran was the real religion all along?

>>730473798
This is the only correct answer.

>>730478510
Evolution doesn't really work like that. Living long lives doesn't really benefit humanity from an evolutionary standpoint since most people pump out kids while they are younger.

If we discovered a way to tell which humans would live longer, and selectively bred them, then what you asked might happen.

>>730478711
Mainly due to advances in medicine, technology, and an increase in general quality of life.

>>730473361
>Immortality
>Ability to pause and resume time
>Unlimited supply of Marijuana

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>>730474732

>implying that competition/combat sports doesn't make the participants happy

>>730473361
So let's do this
1. 10 Billion cash that I could take to the bank and not go to jail.
2. Make sure I and the people I care about die of old age but remain healthy.
3. Keep for whatever issues come at me later on.

We all know genies are tricky bastards who fuck with people. That's why before you ask for money you must cover your ass. If not they will drop cash on you and its stolen and enjoy jail till your very old and sick. Keep a wish as these guys really are asshats.

>>730478711
People died sooner because of the conditions in which they lived. We live longer for the same reasons. A person from four thousand years ago taken as a baby to today through time travel or some shit would live for an average amount of time provided they are average in every conceivable way.

>>730473361
for traps not to be gay
so i can digest corn
one inch to both girth and length to my dick

>>730473361
>One Quintillion wishes
>That every wish is going to be fulfilled
>????
>Profit

>>730473361
Immortality
Complete Omniscience
Complete Omnipotence

This is the only proper godlike option

>>730478975
Are you some kind of idiot? You want ten billion dollars in cash? Even if it were all in hundreds that is one hudred million 100 dollar notes.

>>730478658
I'm doing fine.

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>>730474278

>and

Ya dun goofed anon.

>>730479168
No such thing as omnipotence. Have a think about what the word means and realise you're too idiotic to ever be granted anything even remotely comparable to absolute power.

>>730473361
First: wish that the genie would act as a good-faith counselor in the use of my other wishes.
Second: as much wealth as I could have without materially impacting the economy in a negative way;
Third: to cease aging or other deleterious physical change for as long as I wish.

I wish for the power to give myself or take away any superpower I can conceive or want with no negative side effects.

I wish you to be eternally in love with and dedicated to me.

Genie, I wish you "free"

>omnipotence and omnipotent slave. I win

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lets play a game
leak your ex gf
>snapchat "Y" .ME
thank me later

>>730479302
What does it feel like though? What sorts of things do you struggle with? Do you ever feel inadequate when people around you discuss things beyond your comprehension or do you just surround yourself with similarly cognitively impaired people?

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>>730475024

>being able to modify my body as i please

Beating the dead horse. If you can modify your body as you please, you can refresh the lifespan on your cells. Aging is merely cellular senescence. If they were refreshed, you have both eternal youth -and- eternal life.

I guess immortality covers your ass if you decide to be a cunt and go bungee-jumping by your neck.

Think of this though-! What happens if you meet the love of your life, and she dies because you've outlived her? Now you can't kill yourself anon.

Think about these things...

>>730479490
I choose the D answer ! And is my last word !

>>730473361
1st: Teleportation (I easily take money from bank in and out)
2nd: Invinsiblity(watch girl in their room without they notice it)
3rd: Body shaping. (I can turn into neighbour husband and bang his wife)

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>>730478975

>>730479250 called it. One billion dollars weighs weighs 20,000 pounds and would take up ten pallets. Why didn't you wish for a gun or security service to help you protect all of it?

You're better off just getting a direct deposit. Kek.

>>730473361
>Kill all muslims
>Kill all niggers
>Kill all jews

1. Any body Modifications e.g bulletproof chest, refresh cells, appearance (colors, transparency and so on)
2. Teleportation
3. being able to create anything you can imagine with your thoughts and yes, i mean ANYTHING.

>>730480033
theres no possible way any other human being doesnt have at least 20% of any of those ethnicities in their ancestry. may as well just say kill all humans besides yourself and keep the 2 wishes for a rainy day

>>730477778
just because you know how to do something doesn't mean you can accomplish it

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>>730477654

Reality warping isn't exactly omnipotent, though to us mortals it would seem that way.

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Reality_Warping#Limitations

>>730480399
t. Goldenstein

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>>730478847

Diet too, anon.

Though, processed foods, Monsato, and polluting our oceans with Japanese nuclear reactor waste is taking care of that.

>>730480462
im a spic, nigger

>>730473907
>simple man
>insecure about almost every aspect of your own self
keep telling yourself that

1. Love of my life
2. Infinite money
3. Because love of my life will give me a reason to live, I want us to be immortal and never age

>>730480702
Then I would wish for extra wishes so your subhuman people would also disappear.

>>730473502
Shapeshifting?

>>730473361
> wish 1: absurd, unfathomable wealth
> wish 2: the perfect male body, untill I die at the age of 200, still looking and feeling 20
> wish 3: also, I want to fuck dat genie