general suicide tread, we talk about techniques, stories, whatever

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>>730448429
I killed myself last weekend, intentional auto-erotic asphyxiation. Shit was cash.

im planning to kill myself in a couple of months

>>730448429

I'm thinking that you'd want to rent a room in a hotel and then shoot yourself. Let someone else deal with the crime scene.

>>730448701
lmao i tried auto-erotic asphyxiation it is great

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Best way to go out imo would be to drown yourself in logs of Andy Sixx's shit.

>>730448746
it's such a cunty move though...

>>730448811
i would choke on his dick any day

just watched a suicide where this guy shot himself in the chest 2:30min of struggling to live all because he didnt aim at his heart, it must have been an eternity for him

I don't know what's worse -

being a guy so weak that commits suicide, or

being an attention whore who fantasizes/fetishes it and won't stop talking about it.

Just tried to do it again tonight

I tried to do the thing where you hang yourself with a belt on a doornob, but apparently I had the wrong doornob. Its supposed to be done on one that can actually fit the width of the belt around it, so every time I tried, I just ended up passing out and falling over on the ground. This repeated about 5 times.

>>730448952
attention wores should die, soo fkn annoying

>>730448817
So what?
At least your fam doesn't have to clean up the mess you've made. It'd be more cunty for them because they have to deal with the grief and the mess.

>>730448995
did it work?

>>730449092
yeah i guess you have a point... i would at least do it in the bathtub though

>>730448995
Probably should try adding something to the belt, like cloth, anything really. The goal is to cut off blood circulation to the brain and die from brain damage, not suffocation.

>>730449131
Yah, after a while I managed to kill my self.

>>730449300
Dubs don't lie, must be true.
How's being a zombie?

>>730449282
with a big enough drop you break your spine though

I went from a great paying job to nothing because my body has developed an illness that doctors have yet to figure out. Joint and muscle pain to the point I can't move at times. I'm thinking about popping a whole bottle of denadryl with a bottle of liquor.

y'all need jesus

>>730449459
The same Jesus that took my life away?

>>730449407

i wouldn't recommend it, you'll just end up throwing up the pills before your body can fully process it and you'll feel shitty for a few days afterwards

>>730449407
yeah my mother has something similar, it's just a matter of time before she ends it tbh

>>730449338
Honestly, it sort of blows ass. I just feel a bit woozy is all, likely due to me cutting off circulation to my head 5 times in a row.

>>730449525
how did he take your life away?

>>730449190
Still a dick move, having to clean up the body is a pain. More so if you "love" the person. I've always figured that if I were to do it then I should make sure that my fam doesn't find out. Doubt they wouldn't tho; especially if they, homicide detectives or the like, do their job and ignore any note that's left. IMO, best way you could kys is to join the military and go down killing some mudslimes, even if you don't, the folks would just think you're a hero instead of an hero.

>>730449382
Not from a motherfucking doorknob.

>>730449694
if you are a midget or a 3 year old i dunno

>>730449647
you could make up a story about how you are moving to africa helping the poor and baying someone to send post cards every few months for a few years

>>730449642
I went from having a decent happy life. Wife and 2 kids who I could support with my job. Now I can't even get myself dressed most days let alone spend any time with my kids actually doing something with them. I guess that's Gods plan for me though.

>>730449871
dude that sucks i cant even imagine

Honestly, suicide should not even be on your mind.

Hanging out in this thread is a negative influence on all of you, and its heavily increasing the likelihood that you will actually go through with it. Its putting bad thoughts into your head.
Please distance yourself from the thread, get out of the suicidal bubble you live in, get professional help and realize that your problems are only temporarily.

Most of you are probably just normal depressed people that are influenced by each other to take it even further instead of seeking help and fixing your lives. Hell, your lives are probably pretty damn good already compared to most people around the world.

>>730449871
Your kids fucking love you man, and it would crush them and fuck them up for life if you did something as drastic as this.
Be there for them, it will be the best choice you'll ever make.

>>730450119
have gotten professional help for 10 years, has not worked. im a waste of air, the only thing thats bad about suicide is that people get sad

>>730449871
Have you seen a doctor about any of this? Maybe you have developed a chemical imbalance. The whole god thing is just strange, it'd make more sense for something like this to be the case.

Out of curiosity, what has changed from before you felt this way to now? The more you've thought about this the better answer you'll come up with than "must be gods will". (We don't care why nor could we help but a psychotherapist might/would/could)
Deus vult!

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>>730449871

>>730450119
A) sometimes people just need to talk shit out
B) I relatively agree with you, threads like these aren't (always) helpful, namely when people get shit/negative advice
C) comparison of ones life to another's aids in the development of these thought, mostly when one makes unrealistic comparisons between people and disregards all veritables between parties
D) people need to be walked through a conclusion, telling them it runs a high risk of the conclusion being rejected

I like the sentiment tho

>>730448923
moran. shoot yourself in the chest and you die slowly. shoot yourself through the frontal lobes and you won't even know you've died.

>>730451190
this is really innovative. if he wasn't dead, he could have sold hundreds of those.

>>730451257
if you hit your hart you bleed out in a couple of seconds

>>730451488
and your brain keeps going for at least another two or three minutes. processing all the pain from the gaping chest wound. what, did you imagine you could blow a fist-sized hole through your ribcage and it'd feel like you were drifting off to sleep?

>>730451257
To our knowledge*
We don't know this for sure, tho there's very little reason to think otherwise.
Still, it might be a possibility, which is why it'd probably be best if one were to completely obliterate the brain.

>>730451553
it is viking as fuck though

>>730451650
no. viking as fuck is when you steal a boat the size of a bus, load it up with wood, douse the wood with kerosene, then sail the boat out into the bay, lie down on the wood and set fire to it.

>>730451624
>might be a possibility, which is why it'd
should be
>is a very strong possibility, tho it'd ...

>>730451757
Wrong, it'd be Viking as fuck to go down in the battle field like the warrior you are. The death your taking about is bullshit and what the Vikings do to honor their dead.

was thinking of hanging myself, i don't think id have the heart to jump off a height and i don't have the patience to acquire a gun now nor do i have illegal means to acquire a gun to speed up the process

>>730451975
lmao blowing a fist size ole in your chest is still fucking awesome comared to blowing your head off

>>730452098
hanging would probably be the way i go too. i read on the deep web about helium though, it seemed easier

>>730452102
Blowing yourself up would be better, even if you were killing Americans/Germans/French in the process, com... wait... what do jihadies call each other?

Ever consider working for a bomb squad? You'd be the perfect team member, always the first to volunteer and really really sad when a team m8 died insread of you.

>>730452190
i thought about doing helium but too much room for error, you might accidentally rip off the mask even if youre unconscious because of survival instinct, you might not seal everything everything correctly so that air is escaping, etc

at least with full suspension you can pass out and there's little chance of you undoing the knot

>>730449382
Confirmed, this gnome is offing himself

>>730452460
yeah but i read about jumbers that survived and they all regretted it as soon as they jumped imagine the panic hainging there from a noose

>>730452596
hopefully you can pass out within 30 seconds or less from the noose, but frankly unless you know how to mix medication or drugs correctly or somehow can get a hold of a lethal injection you have to just accept that a successful suicide will involve some degree pain, there's no way around it

>>730452460
Eh, worse that would happen is some brain damage. Maybe some people realize you're suicidal, but that's only if they find out why you're brain damaged. You'll freak out less under the assumption that you're breathing, so long as you don't focus on the fact that it's not air and is going to kill you or move around too much or get caught.

>>730452809
yeah exactly, you get euphoria from the oxygen starvation too

>>730452764
It takes a while to suffocate from hanging, unless you do it right and your neck snaps when you drop. That's why the noose is so big and always off to one side when done property. The idea is that way you die instantaneously.

>>730452809
Yeah but being brain damaged can put strain on your family. A hanging is more deadly and has greater chance of success. Just get it done.

>>730453002
that's why the idea is to compress the carotid arteries from either side of your neck and put the noose on the back so that you pass out within seconds and eventually die from asphyxiation, it's like going to sleep and dying from a choke hold which is uncomfortable but not excruciatingly painful like suffocating by compressing the trachea

>>730453005
>brain damaged can put strain on your family
Nigger, you taking your own life will put strain on your family, brain damage is slightly better because they a chance to try to fix it. Granted it's something that's fixable from their position. But I agree, so long as you get it done there's less of a problem ... at least for you. The emotional stress is likely to be felt by them regardless of a successful suicide or not.

>>730453464
you can do a reverse Hitler and fake you being alive

>>730453146
Again, you've missed my point. I'm not advocating for either of those things but a break of the neck, right where the spin and skull meet. Also known as severing the spinal cord. You, supposedly, die instantly and there's no wait. It's still difficult to pull off properly if you don't know what you're doing so your way may yield better results for those not inclined to figure out how to do it properly.

>>730453464
of course my death will affect them, what i meant to say was that my brain damage is going to put a much bigger strain on them financially and having to visit me in the hospital and shit, at least if you're dead it's done and the only thing left is the funeral...

>>730453764
i didn't miss your point, i already knew about severing the spinal cord but I was referring to your suffocation idea since you were rebutting that from what I said

>>730453639
Kek
>>730453793
Ah, I see your point. I still think it'd be best to die doing something for the betterment of others, such as dying in the line of active duty. Tho I hear that there are a couple states that are allowing physician-assisted suicide, it seems expensive as fuck tho. I'd also have suggested the death penalty but pussies took that away from us.

>>730454052
Suicide by cop, that's what I was forgetting. Tho it's still kinda difficult to pull off, they're not all trigger happy.

Planning to be an hero and livestream it for /b/ in a couple weeks.

>>730454052
death penalty probably seems like heaven to someone who is suicidal since you can move up the date as soon as you want,you can get a solid last meal and lethal injection is painless and free

but yeah physician assisted suicide is too expensive for a lot of people

i was thinking you can purchase life insurance, pay it off and make your suicide look accidental so that your family has money, that wouldn't be so bad

Every night when I get home from work, I stand on a stool with a noose around my neck tied to a permanent fixture on my ceiling and try to think of 3 reasons not to kick the stool out from under me. At first it was easy I had at least 10 reasons every time but now I'm down to 4.

>>730454751
what 4 reasons are those?

>>730454859
I have a job
One of my parents is still alive
The manager at pizza hut gives me cheaper pizza
Actually that's only 3

>>730455387
you're kinda funny, that's 4

>>730455476
wtf no its 3

The best way IMO is to get in a car at 4am, leave your seat belt off, go find a straight road, and try and top the speedometer.

wheres that chubby blue-eyed bitch boi who comes on here every week saying he wants to die.

>>730456431
Lol i thought that was fake, its legit?

>>730449459
I dont wanna be crucified...

>>730451190
Where i can buy this?

>>730449525
Same guy

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>>730448429
Eat at Andy's

>>730448787
is it seriously that great? ive never thought it was worth it, it cant be sbetter than drugs, surely?

>>730457653
it feels amazing

>>730457693
Say word? What does it feel like?

>>730457741
Like McDonald's

>>730457824
im lovin it

>>730457741
when you cum you give your brain back its oxygen so you cum like a 100 times harder

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choke on zirs dick

>>730448429
"general suicide tread, we talk about techniques, stories, whatever"

What "techniques"?? You wouldn't be here if you had a decent fucking technique, you fucking turd.

This ain't a suicide thread, it's an attention seeking emo fuckfest, you soft cunt.

If any of you wank stains were actually serious about suicide, threads like this wouldn't exist and we wouldn't have to hear this crybaby faggotry about how daddy didn't love you and how you nearly cut into a vein once! Fuckkkk off!!

>>730458097
What the fuck, why would cumming give your brain its oxygen back from being choked though?

>>730458423
At least I'm trying to kill myself. More than can be said for you.

>>730458564
when you cum you remove the belt you fucking idiot

>>730458664
Oh i thought it worked by cumming while being choked

I hear an AR-15 to the head works. Kek.

>>730458894
yea if you have fucking monkey arms kek

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>>730458573
Just means you're a fucking eejit with daddy issues and a history of being a school victim. Man the fuck up and just crack on with life! Enjoy the fucking ride faggot.

>>730459092
Lol really seems like youre projecting, youre being way too specific