You can be too fat to be drafted right?

nah they'll just cycle you through boot camp twice

>>730347099
What if I'm like literally obese. I'm 330lbs and 5 foot 11

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>>730346970
No.You just become the sack of shit that kicks in doors or falls over barbed wire.

>>730346970
Nah, makes you more useful short term. Who needs an moab when they can just kick your tuby ass out of the plane

Tbh these fat jokes are really helping my anxiety. This is now a fat hate thread.

>>730346970
Depends on how bad they need pawns. In WW2 they were taking old men and cripples.

Oh wait, is the Alt-right afraid of it getting that bad again? Typical. Always eager to march others off to war; scared shitless they might get marched off themselves.

>>730346970
years ago, yes. now they will take anybody. you can take a bullet to protect a real soldier.

>>730347152
Everyone in the military knows that the best way to build unity is by having a common enemy. You'll be the one everyone in basic gets to hate so they have something in common.

>>730347472
I voted for Johnson my guy

>>730347701
Lol if I get drafted and don't get kicked out in the physical I will kill myself.

>>730347930
In the event of WW3, they'll need all the bullet shields they can get.

Honestly the army is the best thing you will find your penis again

>>730348155
Jokes on you. If I'm laying down I can see it just fine.

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>>730347360
Christ guy, thought you were going to say meat shield.

>>730348213
Ain't mirrors great?

>>730348253
I'm really confused. Is the mirror above me? Couldn't I just stand in front of one to see my dick?

>>730348373
>gravity

>>730348373
Ceiling mirrors, and not if it's hanging down like a flabby apron

>>730348484
Luckily my apron doesn't hang over my dick just yet. It sticks out though so while standing if I look down I can't see my dick. I can still have sex standing up for example

>>730347930
You'll just continue to be a holdover and shitbag, until you want to kill yourself. Then they'll just march your shoelaceless ass around a base with about 20 other shitbags, making your life hell for the duration of the war, and kick your ass out with no benefits.

>>730347566
My dad's first cousin was a marine during Vietnam. He is a pretty big ole boy too. He made it through boot camp fine, however they did put him on a diet. They told him he could have all he wanted to eat as long as it was salads.

His dad retired from the Marines too, and from what I hear he was a very big guy too. He was a cook, and everyone says that he was fucking amazing at it. Of course if he cooked something then you fucking at it, or he'd be standing over you screaming in your ear. My dad is really funny about eating anything he considers weird, like wild game. Once his uncle made him sit at the table all night until he ate the fried rabbit he'd cooked.

>>730348759
thats not okay

>>730348858
Im actually a chef and went to culinary school so I would be totally down with cooking in the army. And salad is great. I love salad

Btw my mom was in the army. I called and asked if I was too fat and she laughed and said yes.

You don't have to fight to be in the army, they can use you as a disposable mine detector

>>730348858
Great story

>>730347360
kek

>>730347099
Fuckin kek

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>>730346970

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>>730347930

you won't be the first

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>>730347472

in the military we call them fodder.

pawns are actually useful

>>730349100
I mean with the way the military is going now they'll let anyone with a pulse. Also the military is so fucking big if you're not going combat arms (infantry, armor, shit like that) you can probably skate by all responsibilities and spend your days with your thumb up your ass. But hey at least you'll be able to pull the veteran card for the rest of your life.

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>>730347930

>>730347152

your life will be a living hell

you'll be stuck in boot until you lose the weight of an hero

they won't let you leave for being fat

I welcome such a culling of fat shits, they're a cancer on american society.

>>730347472
I can only speak for myself but I dream of being drafted so I can serve.

>>730350413
Why don't you just enlist

>>730350311
I looked it up. They won't let me in at my size. Sorry to burst your genocidal wet dream

>>730349024
>And salad is great. I love salad
I agree. I love salad. My mom was an awesome cook, and I kinda used to always help her out in the kitchen when I was a kid. I'm not anywhere near as good as she was, but I do enjoy cooking. Salads and sandwiches are two things I am great at. Everyone says that my salads are the best they've ever eaten. Even people who hate salad love mine. I usually make my own dressings and put more than just like lettuce and tomato in them though.

>>730350533
We're talking a draft here.

>>730350570
Well that's the problem. Salad isn't inherently healthy. I mean iceberg lettuce is mostly just water. A salad is only healthy depending on what you put in it though.

>>730350652
I really think you're overestimating my usefulness.

>>730346970
We will most likely never have a draft again in the US, so it's a moot point.

>>730350311
man this sounds like heaven, im an OB fag 290lbs 6"3, sounds exactly like something i need no distractions just a strict soul crushing purgatory where i am forced 24/7 to train and lose weight.

>>730350737
I don't think usefulness has anything to do with it.

>>730350775
Op here. I actually kind of agree. The government pays you to go away to lose weight. That's like my fantasy.

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>>730350154
>>730350227
>barrel pointing up at the top of his head
>blood spray comes out the back
fake and gay as hell

>>730350841
I mean a draft isn't for fun

>>730350868
I get anxious as fuck man, social anxiety through the roof tried to exercise but i can never do it comfortably where i can just exercise and enjoy myself always fearing the judgement of others and its really worn me down over the years, i have a constant mental barrier to struggle with in all aspects of my life. Finding motivation is impossible and i usually fall into complacency really easy no matter how badly i want things to change.

Someone could probably make a bunch of money off a training camp dedicated to shit like this.

>>730350467
Pressure from family and my relationship. I'm in college right now but my heart isn't in it. Joining the military would mean severing ties with my parents and girlfriend. A draft would give me an excuse.

>>730350907
This guy hasnt seen the movie.

>>730350908
Its not about picking out the most useful people either.

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>>730351028

>>730350999
Exactly it's just motivation for me. I've fallen into the body positivity trap and I really don't give a fuck what people think when they look at me. But just motivating myself to do anything is a fucking struggle. If the government would just like force me I would be so happy.


I started this thread afraid of the draft but now I kind of hope it happens.

>>730351146
God speed /b/ro, god speed.

>>730351130
Nice google meme. Before he shoots himself he raises the gun up level with his head. So the splatter actually lines up. You are just an autistic fuck.

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>>730350757
I've been seeing these pop up everywhere recently. They are valid induction forms, however there is no real reason for them not yet at least

>>730351023
Finish school and go in as an officer.

>>730349024
Cooking in the army.
Jokes on you buddy most food in the military is frozen or canned you're just reheating a bunch of processed bullshit. I served 6 years and the only time I ate a meal that was actually cooked was on major holidays.

>>730351300
I mean it doesn't even make sense that we'd have a draft when we don't even have boots on the ground in syria, let alone a need for more than we currently have.

>>730349024
>im actually a chef
What restuarant do you work for?

>>730351272
Thanks for taking the time to explain full metal jacket to me and pyle's suicide scene. I'm forever in your debt.
>And you say I'm autistic...

>>730351300
They're not "valid", look at the bottom, it's a DD 150. Google DD 150 and see if that's a draft notice...

>>730351448
Seemed like you needed it. Damn straight you are now get on your knees and swallow what i give you to swallow

>>730351449
Mobile cuck here, the sentence was supposed to read "they're not valid." my bad on the confusion

>>730351023
When I was a kid I wanted to be a soldier, I let my mom talk me out of it, like she did with most things. It's one of my biggest regrets.
It's your life, anon, not theirs.

>>730347701
>get up here, fat boy! You climb obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know that, Private Pyle? Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now!

>>730349024
Navy is more like it. They seem like they eat pretty well on aircraft carriers, because they have enough room to store tons of food. Dunno about smaller ships, though.