How did you get your gf?

>>730279105
https://www.christianmingle.com/

why is that chain around her. is she in jail?

>>730279288
probably bdsm related

tinder

>>730279105
She approached me in a very clumsy and shy manner hinting at attraction for a few weeks.
We hung out, I was just myself cause oblivious to flirting. She snatched my hat one day playing like we did but she held it ransom for a kiss.
Been with her for 3 years now.

>>730279105
Gave her some good D

>>730279105
I met my girl in high school and have been together ever since

>>730279606
She's also a submissive little who likes to be told what to do and taken at random times.

>>730279105
nobody here has a girlfriend anyways

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>>730279105
She's a Chinese collage exchange student at my university. I simply asked her out. Now she's my little slave

Co-worker then when I was leaving that job asked her out on a whim.

Amazon.

>>730279706
same but mine is a kitten/ into kittenplay

>>730279736
The dream right there

>>730279736
More pics?

>>730279105
by talking to her for like 6 months and being beta as fuck with her until she finally told me that she liked me. this was back in highschool as a frehsman.

8 years later still together.

>>730279105
i don't, i'll probably die alone because i only know how to be a girl friend, and i don't picture any girl wanting me for something else.

>>730279105

Met her on /soc/, believe it or not.

Now I get to beat the hell out of her every other weekend, and disguise it as "kinky sex". I actually just like beating women cause I'm a woman-hater, but for some weird reason I can slap, punch, spit, humiliate, throatfuck her all in the name of "experimenting". She flies over from Denmark to the UK twice a month for the privilege of being my slave whore.

Women are strange creatures.

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I dont

>>730279105
Wife. Took her from a bad marriage. She worships me.

>>730280016
Lol, thats fucked up. She couldnt just get someone closer to beat her?

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>>730279860
Sure

>>730279813
It pretty good. She's very submissive which makes "homelife" so much more comfortable.

>>730279105
Grabbed her by the pussy.

>>730280131
Damn, she's so hot. You got lucky with her.

>>730279778
Nice dude.
Is yours married as well?

>>730280016
So how long before you fulfill your destiny and start fucking guys? Or being fucked by guys, I should say

>>730280016

I live in the London, and flights in Europe are crazy cheap. The flights cost £15 ($20) return, which is less than the train from my flat to the airport.

And women like who they like. I don't understand it really, but she thinks I'm great, despite how much I hurt her, because I'm sweet to her in the day and I'm average looking & tall.

The fucked up part is I can tell she hates it when I beat the hell out of her, make her lick cum off the carpet, insult her until she cries etc, but she does it because she doesn't want me to break up with her. It's crazy.

>>730280231
No , i dont have to worry about her husband coming and attempting to beat my ass

>>730280374

I'm bi so I suck the odd dick occasionally, but gay people are the fucking worst. Spend 20 mins in or around the gay community and you will see gay people are the most back-stabbing, cruellest, and brutal people on Earth. Not kidding at all. The "gays are giggly and friendly" idea is such a lie.

Tinder

It was 2 years in January

>>730280523
He already tried.
Kicked his ass in front of her then fucked her and sent her home after he left

>>730280611

>meeting girlfriend on tinder

Why would you have a relationship with a girl you met on an app designed to meet people for casual sex? Why date a whore?

>>730280623
Dam, I bet she fucking wet after that

>>730280598
So, then how long before you stop mis-labeling yourself as bi, and just face the fact that you are totally homo for cock, and your violent desires towards women are an expression of your frustration and denial?

>>730280732
Lol no

I traded her Father 2 goats and a pig.

>>730280611
good work bro

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>>730280206
Thanks. Sadly there is also a flipside to having a quite nerdy submissive gf. she's quite shy about her sexuality. It's taking a lot to get her to explore the more kinky side of things on her own. Therefor I've been having to dominate her since taking her virginity 3 years ago. While that's nice and I can use her for sex 24/7, I'd also like to experience her wanting it from me for a change.

>>730280943

My biological urge for children is too strong. Gotta pass on my genes yo.

By playing wow together , it was 3 years ago

>>730281139
I see, you should try teaching her that a good sub should want it more than you. But still, shes fucking beautiful

Called her Frank, asked to buy her underwear.
It worked, shes currently my wife.

>>730281139
So are you saying that yo come home to her begging for you when you get home. Mione will wait for me with ear and buttplug tail begging and pleading me to fuck the shit out of her

>>730279736
when do you have to ship her back to china?

>>730281326
Thats so true

I fucked her brains out until she fell in love with me

Bought her off a Serbian

>>730281139
You got kik

>be me
> 23 years old
> Went through a tough breakup
> Did shittons of drugs
> Doing graffiti (used to be a fucking vandal) ashamed of this shit now
> High on speed, been drinking moonshine
> Went to bar
> Bar closes, start tagging on said bar
> Random girl snatches my can
> She starts tagging
> Asks if i want to join her place for afterparty
> 10/10 qt3.14 roommate, really straight, don't do drugs, smokes weed tho because tagger girl sells and grows
> For some reason spend the night
> Start hanging out
> Realize she hates her roommate and all her trashy friends and hangarounds
> Asks if she can stay on my couch
> Moves in


10 years after. I've stopped doing drugs, rarely even drink, engaged and waiting for our first kid. Life's sweet bro :)

>>730281762

>rarely even drink

I'm an alcoholic drinking every night until I pass out. How do I stop drinking?

>>730281139
somebody wanting you all up in them is a whole other experience entirely.
Anyone got tips for how i could kill myself? Thinking toaster in the tub.

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>>730281536
Basically what you describe is what I'd like. Her to be waiting for me to fuck her. Instead however she's generally too reserved, even when horny she won't show it. She expects the man to do all the initiation. I think because she considers it shameful. Guess for cultural reasons she can't admit enjoying me eating her ass.

>>730281596
Officially next year if she graduates. Then her visa runs out and I'll have to consider marriage if I want to keep her around...

>>730281755
Nope sorry

>>730282170
That sucks, both the shameful thing and the marriage thing. Have you tried demanding her to express when she horny/ what she likes

>>730279105
>be me
> be 15
>punk/Metalhead (mostly core)
>Get invite into anime Chat
>Be there for months
>Somebody mentions Music
>Says my fav Band is Hollywood Undead
>Girl writes the same the exact same moment
>beginn to write with her
>she lives 600 km away
>fast forward nearly a year
>write daily
>Pretty pervy stuff me Dom her Sub
> she gets a bf
> i find out he cheats on her
>tell her
>she says she owns me i say fuck it
>skip to last summer
>she visits me
>dunno why but we kiss at the mainstation as soon as she arrives
>get home
>we make out
>"i'm on the pill"
Fuckyes.jpg
>we fuck
>grow closer over time
still together and the sex is great.

>>730282170
Sounds like my wife. I married her so she wouldn't have to leave, and she does nothing to initiate sex. She actually complains that we don't do it enough, but its still all on me to start it every time. Its tiring and has honestly gotten boring. Still love her and she is great, but I don't know what would be different if it weren't for her immigration status.

>>730282170

A girl who loves sex, loved sex before she met you. Aka would be a whore who has had multiple partners.

Why are you wishing for that? Are you a cuck?

>>730282670
>Thinking that every girl you are going to date a) didnt like sex before sex with you b) is a virgin...

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>>730282480
I've tried. The best method for getting a response out of her I've found is fucking her to the edge of orgasm and then stopping. This places her in the right mind frame to actually want to answer my questions.

>>730279105

Cat fished the shit out of her for six months. We talked every day on the phone for hours....started to fall for the bitch and finally came clean. She told me she has known for a lil while, really enjoyed our talks, knew I was genuine in all we talked about. We met up and it was even better than before. Fast forward six yrs, we been married for four of them, have several kids together.

She still gives me shit for what I did to get. Oh well, that's life.

>>730282670
Ehh the best is to catch this type of girl when they are still virgins and then keep them.

>>730282996
If she is home before you, instruct her to masturbate to the point just before orgasm an hour before you get home.

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Used to jog with a friend and she wanted to come along. Friend left to go study early so me and her went jogging for about 1-2 months until i had to leave to study and thats how the feelings grew. Shes coming to live here in a couple months after 9 months since getting the Dutch nationality was a bitch for her. Shes pretty submissive and kinky af. Constantly sends me nudes from back home

>>730279105
I dated my wife since 6th grade.. No JK
>be me
>be 6th grade
>be 9/10
> know this girl, 9/10
>At a sleepover with like 15 people
>Everybody is asleep except me and her.
>I don't know that she's asleep.
>Listening to music with headphones
>Half asleep
>She sneaks over and puts her hand down my pants
>best handjob ever
>turns out she had a crush on me for like 2 years.
Together since then

>>730279204
I always thought a good prank on these hloier than thou fuckos was to:

1. Create a profile and really invest some time into it including actually going to a church.

2. Get close to your mark so you can do something like

3. When they are totally invested in you, break it to them you want to get gender reassignment surgery.

4. Harvest the LOLZ

>>730279776
Underrated

>>730279105
okcupid, and now she's my wife.

Tinder

>>730281978
There is a medicament that suddenly stops your urge to drink. Unfortunately i forgot its name. It's been used in studies in France as I remember.

>>730279105
chloroform

>>730281978

To be honest, I don't even know.
Started drinking when I was 12.
Weed since 13
Speed, Pills and hallicinogens since 15
kept this up until about 25.
Stopped doing hard drugs
Only weed and liqour.
All of a sudden just went sick of it all.

Nowadays I go to parties and don't even feel like drinking. My best friend is a fullblown alcoholic asking me the same question and I feel bad when I tell him i just stopped and don't know how to explain it

>>730279105
Current one?
Grew up together, lost our virginities together, fucked each other fairly often up until recently then decided we should just start dating each other.
Otherwise bars, parties, social get togethers, work, the street, a few times they were literally handed to me and it led to emotions. Basically just chatted them up and exchanged numbers an it took off from there.

>>730281139
You need a better camera Anon. She is a small tight little girl.

I had a Japanese exchange student in college for a GF. I stole her from the son of the people I rented from.

That bag of shit treated her poorly and then tried threatening me.

I have a lot of pictures of her but all are on Kodachrome slides from my college days in the 80's

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>>730283191
She has never masturbated before in her life. Her entire sexual experience is based around actual sex

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>>730281978
yeah I hate alcohol and yet I have to have it every night. I woke up on the floor in my living room this morning...fuck

reading all this shit makes me want to kill myself even more

<I'm from Belarus.
<Straight woman for all of my life up to that point.
<Husband is murdered in front of me.
<Dive into a deep depression that results in me moving from state.
<A year passes, I decide to start working out to get rid of my stress at like 5 am.
<I always see a woman working out at that hour at the local park. It's just the two of us.
<I always feel her looking at me.
<Eventually, she approaches and befriends me.
<One day asks me out on a date. I was taken back but after persistence for a while, I say "yes".
<Not sure why I said "yes" at the time.
<Six months later, and we are thinking about moving in.

>>730282170
That is a beautiful photo of sexual love, not perversion.

My wife loves having her ass eaten but won't actually say it or ask, not that she needs to ask me.

Her first time getting this done was just before we moved in together. We had a good evening out, and she needed a massage due to back pain from having big breasts (40F)

Giving her a massage turns into me eating her out and I flip her over to fuck her from behind and I just start kissing her behind while rubbing her ass and I give her a delicate tongue around her pucker and she just freezes and I think I've done something wrong.

Turns out she loves having analingus plus anal massage and asks for a "massage with extras" when she wants her ass eaten.

>>730283813
Had that one time after drinking darksouls. That shot deserves its name. Take
Rum with 73.3%
Absinthe77.7%
Black vodka
Tabasco.
20-40cl
Have fun

met online. like everyone else these days

>>730283813
>>730283813
I woke up in a puddle of my own piss this morning. Now I'm drunk again and putting on my shoes to go buy another bottle of wine. It's hell.

My right hand was always with me man, her name is Jill and I love her. We're getting married soon.

>>730283490

Raltegravir?

Met her on fetlife, she was looking for someone to Dom the shit out of her. 5 Years later I still spank her ass raw every night.

>>730284226
Sux about your wife, glad you've found somebody.

>also, learn to greentext

>>730283750
Encourage her to masturbate. She'll find out what else excites her.

My best/most memorable partners were te ones who did this the most.

Girls who only have interecourse for sexual exploration don't know themselevs and can't really tell you what they like

>>730285020
I'm new, so will do. It was my husband that died, lol.

>>730281978
Parkinson meds can help with some addicts.

>>730279288
kek

Black punk rocker turned skinhead. At a show. Goth girl eyes me across the pit. Comes over and asks me for a sip of my beer. Start talking. Have a few good months. Went our separate ways. I miss her...

>>730283750
Teach her to masturbate then!

>>730282033
Exit bag, helium. Get some calming medication too, maybe, and write a note on your door. Nobody wants to walk in on a dead guy, just be polite if you're going to go.

As somebody on the autistic spectrum. I can't get a girl, my social skills are shite.

>>730279105
I went out for a walk after work. Walked past a Dunkin Donuts. Car with 2 chicks in it getting iced coffees pulls out. Nearly hits me. Spend five minutes berating driver to watch where she's going, and stop driving like a stupid cunt. She's nearly in tears, asking what she could do to make it up to me. I tell her "Gimme yer number, and we'll call it even"

3 years later, and I living with the woman. And I love her to death.

>>730285169
One of my friends wife passed a year and half ago and I still skirt around ever mentioning her name. Her sold the condo and dumped virtually all the stuf of hers into the garbage or to Goodwill.

I hate doing it, as my Dad died when I was 15 and the worst thing about was how people stopped mentioning his name, like hearing it would break me in half. I hated hwo people talked around what happened

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Only GF I ever had... actually liked me more. She made everything super easy. The effort to get to know her, go on dates, kiss and have sex was all downhill. The sad part is she was boring, and I knew we werent good for each other in the long. So I let her off easy. I was more upset I think. Since her, I havent had any real relationship. Every girl I like is with some dude, or lives with the guy. I have no solid group of friends that call me, or what to hang out. I'm always alone, and just want a sweet girl who likes me.. and I have real feelings for too. I think I could be happy with that.

Met my ex-gf off /soc/ local meet-up thread
Talked online for about a week
Talked/texted on phone for about a month
Finally met in person and fucked like rabbits
She moved in with me after a couple months
Shit was so cash

She broke up with me about 4 months ago, just shy of 6 years together. Shit was not so cash, completely shattered my heart and shat in the hole in my chest where it used to be. But I'm slowly recovering.

>>730281978
Trip on acid. Examine your behaviour.

>>730282033
Toaster would probably trip the circuit breaker.


And who would want to inflict that kind of sight on someone else?

>Got invited to party at pub by mutual friend
>we both got drunk
>laughed at how silly it was we were at some goth party and van hellsing was being played on repeat
>found out we loved animu and other things
>drunk more
>kissing each other and popped her tits out to play with them.
>time flies when having fun etc.
>fingered her on train to her home.
> fucked in her bed and woke up room mate a few times.
>had coffee in morning.
> asked for number
> went home.
> few dsys later asked if she liked soccer and wanted to come to training and she said sure

Now we have been married for a while and have a cute baby girl

>>730280434
how can you do that when you yourself think it\s fucked up? Not trolling, just curious

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>>730279606
Thats wholesome :)

Well last girlfriend I had came up to me at a party while I was separated from my group of friends and was just drinking alone. She was super hot, we dated for a few months and then she broke up with me because she had some shit going on. It sucked, cause she loved sex and was the best looking girl I'll ever get with. Months later I get drunk calls about how she still loves me. lol

>>730285906
Moral of the story... Don't fall in love with people on /soc/... they are on /soc/ after all

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>>730279105

The old fashioned way, forcible rape.

>>730285020
>sucks about your wife

She's a woman that had a husband, retard

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>>730279105
fucked her roommate
her roommate gets a boyfriend
party at their place
drunkenly hook up after everyone goes home, the sex is amazing but we barely know each other
impulsively go on a road trip together as strangers
end up hitting it off really intensely well across a couple of days
here we are

>>730285719
>Gimme yer number, and we'll call it even

How did that even work? I mean that must be the single lamest line I've ever heard. Is your gf a retard or something?

>>730286231
I guess so, that was actually her first time posting on /soc/, she was just procrastinating writing a paper for school. But she posted on lots of other boards all the time.

First met my gf at a teen house party and got talking to her, thought she was beautiful, only for her to go and fuck another guy at the party in the downstairs cupboard.
Three weeks later get a text from her asking if I wanted to meet up in school, I did and shit just fell like dominos and now been together 3 years.

>>730281536
Hermione

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>>730284226
><I'm from Belarus
><I'm from
><I'm
><
><
><
><
><

>>730283286
Reminds me of the time I pretended to be a coal miner for 5 years only to be like, "psych!" lel

>>730279105
>How did you get your gf?
raped her. no lie. she just stuck around afterwards and weve been together since. 6 years

>>730279105
Right-click, save.

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>>730284226
>>730285169
Well, since you're new here...

TITS OR GTFO

>>730285020
>learn to read

>>730286540
not him, but for all I've been told, hate and love are just two different flavors of passion
it's high-level play, but there are guys REALLY SKILLED at getting a girl mad and then flipping that emotion on its head like a fucking magic trick.
Sounds crazy but I've seen it work.

>>730286879
How the "Black Lung" coming?

>>730286636
That's some ugly foreshadowing right there. You're gonna get cucked, faggot

>>730286139
Had a similar experience. Only slightly darker. Dated this really cute chick for almost a year. Sex was amazing. Her family thought I was "the guy" for her. Have a lot in common, but enough not in common to keep it interesting. And one day she says the guy she had a crush for years was suddenly "into her" and she wanted to give it a try. Full speed, to full stop in a 45 second phone call. I'm crushed. Start to spiral out of control. Then I get a call from her. She's in tears. She's crying and sobbing, and begging me to come "help her" basically, the douche bag she dumped me for had been slapping her around, and now she had locked herself in the bathroom while he trashed HER apartment. All I could do was laugh at her. And I don't mean a chuckle. I mean a full maximum kek, laugh til I'm coughing up a lung, and my stomach was cramping type laugh. By the time the cops showed up, he'd broken the door down, trashed her phone, and handed her a beating that would have made Warmachine proud. I felt totally vindicated.

>>730279736
you lucky bastard

>>730279105
>How did you get your gf?
Chloroform soaked rag and plastics ties.

>>730286927
o shit

Met my girl at a festival, she was fucked off her head and I took her back to my tent where we had the best sex I've ever experienced. She wakes up the next morning and remembers nothing, told her we didn't fuck and it's still a secret to this day. Also her sex that night was better than anythig she's done sober since.

>>730287344
He's already cucked. It's just gonna take something substantial for him to realize it.

>>730279105
>Error: variable "gf" not declared

>>730286636
you left out the best part
>BTW she is still fucking the same guy from the party, but I don't know about it.

How do I know?
I'm the guy from the party.

I met her at a singles night, hosted by my temple.

>>730279776
kekld

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>>730287545
Sounds like you need to slip her some E... THEN slip her some D...

>>730287596
Be spooked

>>730287350
fuckin noice

>>730287545
You probably think your girl believes that you didnt have sex

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>>730287611
JEW!!!!

>>730286636
o bud

Manager at Home Depot.
Transfer to new store.
Pretty girl works there.
She has bf.
I don't care.
Hook up in office a couple times.
Go to vegas.
Turns out we have very similar personalities.
She leaves guy.
Still together 3 years later.

>>730287939
Still a cheater

>>730287596
She might be actually

>>730287796
yeah, so?

>>730287709
I thought so too honestly. When I think of all the pussy I turned down when I was dating her. For her to pull that shit on me. THEN expect me to white knight for her? Bitch had some balls expecting that.

>>730286540

If a girl wants you, she wants you. Doesn't matter what you say or do, she'll still want you.

bought her from a street market in cambodia, i'll return her once she's 18

I just hung out, until she asked me out.

>>730279105
public masturbation.

>We were in a park and a butterfly landed on her shoulder
>I said, it looks like you made a friend
>she said What? and the butterfly flew away
>I told her what happened
>she said thanks and walked away.

wait a minute--what's this thread about?

>>730288128
Considering that's how they met, and they're still together 3 years later. SOMETHING must have worked for both of them.

>>730288313
3 years isn't even that long. People break up well past the 10 year mark all the time. There's no telling if their relationship actually works.

>>730288125

>having to turn down lay-up pussy

Goddamn I don't miss that
When it's just falling in your lap and you can't say no
So fucking mad. I don't have too much longer on this hairline, either.

>>730288066
Tbh not really that concerning. She still works there and i went back to school for mech. Eng.
Wouldnt be too heartbroken if that happened considering our wildly different paths nowadays

>>730288432
can't say yes*

>>730279603
Anon, you might want to check for STD's.

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>>730279606
Fuck, i envy you so much man.

>>730279687
>>730279736
>>730279915
>>730283254
>>730283692
>>730284945
>>730286139

also jelly

>>730285717
same

I sometimes dream about this girl i once had a shot with, that i then fucked up.
She is/was the most beautiful person i've ever layed eyes on. Her smile was so pretty it still haunts me. She was kind, caring and smart, which was great since all i had was being funny. She had a dorky laugh and was so fucking unbearably cute when she tried to hide it.

Now she probably thinks of me as a sad fuck and a mental patient in the making.

I once bumped into her in the street and i think she was legit scared of me.

At least i have alcohol and vidya.

>>730288518
settle down man
tinder ain't that weird
90% of girls on there are looking for friends or a relationship anyway
besides, what, you don't get around? and even if you don't, you wouldn't if you could?

checking for std's ain't a bad idea either way, but le tinder is dirty meme, that's enough of that!
I met my ex on tinder and she was a total goody-two-shoes.

>>730287350
I have an experience of leaving a GF due to physical abuse. Its not something I've EVER shared with anyone who knows me, except the dead wife of a friend who was at my wedding. She may have told Randy, or not. She can keep secrets.

I don't just mean hitting. She actually fucking stabbed me 3 times in the left arm, which I got up in time to keep from getting stabbed in the neck.

The real kick in the nuts was the P.O.S. RCMP officer who thought it was FUNNY a guy was claiming to be assaulted by a woman.

All this shit happens, and one nurse who I knew vaguely because she also worked at a DRs office where I went due to asthma took me aside and said "No one should ever have to put up a loved one abusing them, period" and she gave me her phone number.

When I got home at 2AM, I started packing my stuff from out place. When K. started in on me, I picked up the phone and called her and she could hear what I was enduring.

Got driven to a closed bus station and had to wait in the snow for 3 hours until it opened.

PS I saw K, again with her GF who didnt know she wasn't a Gold Star lesbian and related out turbulent 3 years. Last I saw, the two of them were arguing in public on a sidewalk in LesboCentral on Commercial Drive Vancouver

>>730288432
You make it sound like a hairline is all that important. Grow a beard, and shave your head. You'll look totally bad ass. But yeah.I always call it slow pitch pussy. Cus it's no effort to knock it out of the park. And yes... Letting it just sail by you is heartbreaking. I STILL think she got what she deserved.

>girl was dating one of my friends
>q.t 7/10 super rich school girl with the british accent
>he and I weren't that close
>when they first broke up I didnt date her out of respect for him, didnt end well between them
>long story short, she tries it on with me when she was drunk, i refuse, didnt wanna take advantage
>later tells me that she'd wanna do with me sober anyway
>realise that I could use some easy pussy and go for it
>her sex voice makes my dick FUCKING DIAMOND
her fucking british preppy school girl voice is so delicious
>calls me daddy, so hot
>fast forward a month or so of casual intimacy, she asks "do you love me" while stroking my dick
ahshit.jpeg
>no, but we continue anyway
>realise im actually falling for her
ohshit.gif
>the more we fuck the more emotional it becomes
somehow ended up in a fucking relationship
>meet both our parents, mine hate her but her parents love me
>she finally admit shes loves me 'so fucking much'
>idk yet
i think I've fallen in love
>admit my love for her
She's fucking addicted to me and my dick
And I love her more than I'd like to admit
Been dating for 4 months now, that shit was fast

Sex is great though, she love's it as rough as I can give it to her, she also loves that public shit, like running my hand up her thigh while she's sitting at a table talking to other people

>>730288518
lol straight middle class white people don't get stds.

There is this girl in one of my project groups at school that I have wanted to ask out for a while. I haven't asked yet cause I've seen how awkward groups can get when she says no and you have the whole semester left. But now summer is about to begin. I am determined to ask her out if I see her next year though.

>>730283617
>>730287475
Unlike you guys, I prefer scopolamine

>>730286064
I hope your talking about the movie and not Van Halen

>>730281762
man, that's really nice. Congratulations! I'm in a relationship with a girl that has borderline personality disorder. She makes me feel terrible about myself all the time. I hope I can find something better.

>>730289022
Women reject people from groups constantly, they know how to move on from then. You could ask her out to a movie or something then be an adult about it if it doesn't work out.

>>730288831
She. Stabbed. You... And she still has all of her teeth? Dude, you are the single most spineless excuse for a man I've ever seen.

>>730279105
She messaged a friend of mine(he didn't know the number), so i sent her a message saing "u like memes??/"

>>730279606
Fucking classic hat kidnapping.

She still hasn't given it back to me. 3 kids and 17 years later.

As soon as I find where she hid it, I'm fucking outta here.

>>730289022
if ur scared just drink a lot or take anxiety meds and do it

>>730283750
Please, more pics, she's so fucking hot

>>730288905
y'know I got some friends who shaved and they look better like that but all I've ever known is hair. it was my bread-and-butter (oh, to be back in 2014 with a manbun again, I could do no wrong). and I think I have a fucked up head.
I guess it's adapt-or-die. one friend keeps getting hit on by gorgeous young women because it places him into that older-man category even though we're all early-20's. but I don't know if I can ride that lane... We'll see.

>>730288200
price for reference?

>>730289264
I'm not scared of actually asking her out. Just didn't want to ask her out, have her say no and then spend the entire rest of the semester with her in my group. She will be a 5th year senior next year and Ill be a senior too, so Ill ask her out then.

after all these years, I realize no one would ever want to be with me, not because I'm ugly (which I am) but because I am a terrible person, and would only drag them down along with me into misery and self loathing.

thank god for booze and heroin. I can't wait for the day I dont wake up from my only friends. I hope it's tomorrow.

>>730280163
underrated

>>730288429
If it makes it past 6months it's working. By that point you both know each other's habits, and know if you can either embrace, or tolerate them. If the sex is good as well, then... Why try to fix what aint broke?

>>730288825
>he fell for le "my gf isn't a whore cuz she told me so" meme.

She was on tinder dude, you don't get it because you're a man. Ask any of your female friends (if any), how much male attention do they get, and on how many dates did they went. Expect something between the lines of "I only dated 5 guys cuz I'm not a whore teehee!".

>>730289152
you owe it to yourself to do better. being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself, you don't deserve that, man.
I know you probably feel guilty because she has a mental illness, but at the end of the day, that's not your fault and it's not your problem. you gotta get away from that, you gotta look out for your own self first, man.

Trust me, I've been through the wringer with girls like that. They'll break you if you let them. The sooner you're out, and remembering who you were before, the better. It's hard, but it'll save your life.

>>730279105
okcupid has worked great for me

>>730289384
>I'm ugly
Women aren't as visual as men, or at least not the same way. There are ugly men dating 10/10 without having millions in the bank.

>I am a terrible person
You can change that. It's all up to you. Start by trying to not lie anymore, see where that takes you.

>booze and heroin
That's the only thing you have that you should be ashamed of. But you can change it too.

>>730289123
Yeah the movie. It seemed like the poor bar didn't know what to do so just put whatever they thought was remotely dark on

>>730289543
I've fucked somewhere in the ballpark of 35-40 women. She'd had two long-term boyfriends before she met me. I was the whore, it terrified her, and it's what drove us apart.
She coulda fucked 50 dudes and I wouldn't care.

>>730288763
I almost had a shot with a girl, we sexted and stuff. But when it came to in person social interaction I was terrible at it. I bored her and she started looking for someone else. Currently talking to a girl I like, but again my social skills are shit and I probably come off as a boring person.

She was working a front receptionists desk while going through college. 12 years younger than me. She's a 9.5/10 no question. -.05 for bitch factor.

I made her laugh, was respectful, and had a confident presence. Went to lunch. 3 years later we are 100% in love.

Made it clear from the start I am not her bank account.

>>730289297
Trust me homie... A man bun isn't doing you any favors. It's just one more box on the "Douche Bag Millennial's Checklist of Homo Haberdashery" All it's gonna do is make you look like you enjoy it when a big burly guy named Molly pulls your hair and chokes you. Shave the hair, BIC THAT SHIT DOWN to the scalp. Grow a beard ( I recommend you start with a chinstrap/goatee combo) and watch what kind of chicks you can pull. So long as you play it off with some confidence, it won't even be layup pussy, it'll be slam dunking a fisher price basketball set pussy.

>>730289766
and you dare to defend tinder anyway?
Listen here Chad, if you actually fucked that many girls from tinder, you might aswell have contracted an STD, and if you did, you could have transmited that STD to your ex.

See why it's always a good idea to check for STD's after dating an STD infected whore like you on tinder?

>>730289620
this.

and then my previous gf. I cant even remember. we were friends for ages, and would talk about sex a lot. at some point had a random conversation about how come we talk about sex so much... it became clear that she was up for it

>>730289173
It's very tempting to hit a woman who's hurting you, but then you'd just be the one who ends up in jail. At the end of the day it's smarter not to.

ready for this b/ros hold on to your asses i met the chick i am with now on /b/ no shit she was in a feels thread and we where talking took long time for her to tell me she was femanon but she did kik them e mail ...meet.... found out she was in same state almost a year later she lives here how is that ???

>>730289870
>my social skills are shit and I probably come off as a boring person.
Me too, bro. I could talk about ideology, economics, history, politics, philosophy and shit like that for hours. But i just CAN'T do the small talk that has to come before it.

I have a theory, consider it. Just drop questions about what i want to talk about straight out. It will probably seem odd at first but it beats the hell out of talking about the fucking weather or celebrities.

>>730290184
that's pure wisdom right there

>>730290220
She's a tranny, run.

>>730289998
I don't do the bun anymore but back in 2014-2015 it was literally Free Pussy: The Hairstyle. Every dude hated me on-sight and I knew it was goofy but fuckit, it was worth every bit. Now it's past its prime so I don't bother.
I definitely have a beard already. I'll be fine. But I miss those days.

>>730290220
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>730279105
40 year old woman who lived down the street from my uncle. Her daughter died of some illness at only 17 or something like that. Went on a bit of a wild streak for a few weeks as she was alone and just wanted company to ease thee pain (think Jesse and his perma-party state after he kills the innocent guy in Breaking Bad). Anyone I was part of her wild streak and I've been seeing her since. She's the best fuck I've ever had.

>>730290184
You're wrong there anon. I'm living proof. I knocked a chick the fuck out, and SHE was the who got arrested, because she hit me first.

>>730290224
i used to be like that, just practise really
if you're on instagram or facebook, follow like one or two normie celebrities or popular music pages, and just use that shit s a swiss army knife when you're trying to make small talk, current news events also work well

>>730290088

STD testing is good anyway. Been tested, completely clean. But tinder ain't some wretched hive of scum and villainy. At least when you're young. Maybe shit gets more grimy the older you go.

>>730290361
What country do you live in? Definitely not the US.

>>730279736
How often do you exchange collages? I wish I was that artistic.

>>730290415
>But tinder ain't some wretched hive of scum and villainy.
>I've fucked somewhere in the ballpark of 35-40 women.
>She coulda fucked 50 dudes and I wouldn't care.

Chad Thundercock, pls stop contradicting yourself.

>>730290429
you sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.

>>730290266
trust me b/ro i was sure she was faking the funk till i talked to her on the phone even then still not sure but i said fuck it and meet her ...don't get me wrong she is damaged good had a drug habit and other things

>>730290581
I'm a loser nerd anyway, tinder is just a video-game I got good at. I'm a cyborg on my best day.

>>730290721
>I'm a cyborg on my best day.
I too miss pre-reddit /r9k/

Hottest girl I've ever dated: caught her looking at me at the pool at our apts. never seen her before. Went over to the hot tub where she was sitting. Wished her a happy Easter. Got to talking with her for the next 4 hours. That was the first and only time that's ever happened to me. We only dated a month. She was the short petite tan skinned hottie from Georgia. At first her accent was really hot but then it got annoying. She was also kinda dumb. This Was 5 years ago. Lately I've been pissed at myself for being dumb and being an ass to her

>>730289525
Lots of the cracks in a relationship don't start to show until years later. Just because it's working at the moment doesn't mean it'll last.

>>730290797

I miss pre-r/The_Donald 4chan, honestly

>>730290361
Must be a one in a million. My wife was threatening to kill herself, took knife from her hand, held her down. She called cops. I get charged

>>730290428
Yes I live in the U.S. I was at a bar, cutting it up with a couple buddies. I made some stupid joke, about why a chick can't piss the morning after a good fuck. This thing (Honestly all night, I had assumed it was a guy) as tall as I am, rockin a ginger mullet, carpenter's jeans, and a button down shirt turns around, and fucking ROCKS ME! I mean it hit me so fucking hard my EARS started ringing. I didn't even bother checking to see WHO had hit me. It was a simple gut check reaction. I threw a straight left, and a right overhand at the person standing in front of me. I didn't even realize it was a chick til I saw the titties bouncing as she collapsed on the floor. By the time the cops showed up, I was spitting blood into a rag (wound up needing 4 stitches in my lip) and her and her rug munching kiss ass chorus were screaming about how it's never alright to hit a woman. After getting statements from everyone, they arrested HER. I was a KING to my friends for the next 6 months.

>>730286636
And I bet those 3 years have been shit.

>>730290921
The d is becoming a chan echo chamber

>>730291037
Okay, a bar fight is not at all the same as domestic violence. In a bar fight you've got lots of witnesses, and it's a seedy environment anyway.

If you've ever hit a girlfriend or your wife in retaliation or self-defense, you'd see that it's a completely different ballpark.

>>730291066
Well recently I've started thinking what it'd be like being with other girls. Sometimes it's such as hassle when she goes out and has guys making her grind on them etc.

>>730279105
she was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar, when I met her. I picked her up, I shook her up and turned her around. turned her into someone new

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>>730279105
Last girl I had had a badana color I'd been wanting, & she had a friend with heroin, so we went back to my place got high, & we kissed. So she said she wanted to strip naked. Shit happened. Homeless girl with shaved pussy, with no meat curtains, to lick after I washed that ass, & her pussy. Anyways, bitch called me a nigger a week later, so I dumped her. I'm not even black. Part German, Native American, but mostly Filipino. Maybe it's because my mom married a dark skinned black man before she died, or maybe it's because I'm fresh outta prison tatted on my face.

>>730291339
yo hold up what the fuck

>>730291651
What??

>>730280732
Dude, not every girl on Tinder is a whore. Women take a casual sex app and turn it into a dating app because that's what women do with everything. I've met some crazy bitches on Tinder and I met the girl I'm going to marry.

>>730281381
Awesome! I've got a panty fetish and now my fiancee has three drawers of panties haha

>>730291945
Different anon here, one friend of mine met his last 2 gfs on tinder and another friend met his current one there too.

All three have huge issues.

Tinder women are NOT relationship material.

>>730281978
There was a study done with rats in a cage and cocaine laced water. Scientists found that rats in a nicer cage chose drugs less often and eventually stopped using them. Improve your cage and you'll stop drinking.

>>730292132
I disagree but being the nature of Tinder it has a higher percentage of such women

>>730279105
I was a dick to a guy who worked for me and hung out with them. Treated him like shit in front of her and she left him for me.

>>730292213
> nicer cage
I think it was isolated rats vs rats in groups, where the isolated ones went full junkie.

>>730279105
She was my ex's younger sister. I started raping her when she was 15, and after a couple years she fell in love with me. We have zero contact with ex's family.

>>730282632
Just communicate with her. My girl was the same way and I told her I needed more. Dealing with her inevitable fear and insecurity will help. Think of her like a flower and your love is the sunshine. Now my girlfriend dresses me in panties and puts things in my butt. How's that for taking the initiative?

>>730279105
Asked her out .. geesh.

>>730283490
ibogaine

>>730279776
Amazon was dope it's like high school. So many bitches

>>730292511
Get out.

>>730285934
THIS. Helped me get past the war

>>730279105
She was a bargirl at my local bar. I had a gf at the time but she sucked. Eventually cheated on her with bargirl then broke up. Still happily with bargirl many years later.

Wife from college. Class together. Just asked her out.

Girlfriend from Craigslist.

>>730283813
Your gonna need a big ol' bag of weed , and the sopranos

>>730293041
>cheated on her
You've corrupted your soul, you should attune.

>>730293177
>attune
Do you mean atone dude? I've made my peace man.

And besides, she made me apologise to her brother for him not liking me and uninviting me to Christmas.

black market *Cough* http://silkroad7rn2puhj.onion/

>>730279736
wait a second. This sounds a lot like the guy that my brother rents from, and that chick looks similar. But then again its probably not the same guy.

>>730293419
Would you cheat again? Sorry for broken english.

>>730293736
nice try, FBI.

>>730281139
so when do you think you're going to start sharing her? surely the next step is for her to take multiple cocks.

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>>730292132
Everyone has issues :) I've got more issues than PC Gamer hahaha

Here's my beautiful fiancee throwing up in a toilet after we brought an older woman home and did too many drugs. Seeing the love of your life dressing up in lingerie with another woman is pretty cool :)

fuck woman fuck men fuck homosapiens you are all a virus, fuck myself to, you peices of shit l will kill you all oneday mark my words l was destroy everything. You are all fake and don't know anything except for what you think you know fools. Go run along now and lay out a useless insult on me to validate your pathetic fucking life in your own mind

>>730292361
Naw, it had to do with the stuff in the cage. Basically do more activities! You'll meet new people, try new things, and be happier eventually!

>>730293923
>Everyone has issues
Sure but there's a big difference between being pathologically tidy and breaking down in tears every time you interact with another woman.

>>730282670
>How's that?
gross

>>730294062
Oh yeah. I once went on a few dates with a girl from Tinder that had foot long cutting scars on her thigh when she took her pants off and called me a bitch when I went home after she drunkenly berated me about her ex husband. It's just a matter of weeding out the craziest from the slightly crazy.

>>730293857
All good man.

It would be easy to say no, I mean I hadn't cheated on any girl before until then, and I'm actually happy with my current (bar)girl, but you never can tell dude. History has shown I'm capable.

But cheating on the girl I cheated on my ex with would be retarded and make me a jerk.

>>730292407
do tell more....

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>>730279105
>be 2012
>/b/tards having Okcupid raid
>I join in for shits and giggles
>talk to random girl with intention to troll and post results
>Turns out shes bretty cool
>start dating her 8 months later
>got married to her a year later
>/b/ literally made my life better
whodathunkit

>>730292480
Different guy but sometimes it takes more than communication. Did this with my wife but didn't help too much, sometimes its just a libido miss match or as simple as just being horny at different times of the day. Once you figure that out a little as well it helps too.

Hell it could be as simple as when she wants it you're just too tired and vice versa

You're all fucking trash so are the woman you date look at you parading eachother online like fucking clowns you useless fucking peasants getting ego boosts from fucking trash you dogs, you fucking dogs, and they all succumb to their feeble emotions and fuck other men as you fuck other woman and think you're special you are equally shit and deserve everything you get you fucking slaves. Go fucking die all of you l will kill you all

>>730288295
lmfao

>>730289173

And you obviously haven't been in a relationship.


I was 24 years old, right out ofd college, an the memory of my abusive Dad fresh in my mind that I was NOT going to be an abuser. I broke my Dads denture as payback for his abuse of me, but it just left me feeling empty

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omegle.

>>730290184
Poster who was abused. People don't fucking get it how it is stacked against guys who defend themselves,

>>730294285
>History has shown I'm capable.
By your own desitions you can write the future history. Not by just not cheating, but by conciously deciding you will never cheat again, make it a part of you.

>But cheating on the girl I cheated on my ex with would be retarded and make me a jerk.
Cheating already made you a jerk, but then again, you can change that.

You seem happy, i only think you could be both happy and proud(or prouder) of yourself by polishing your soul.

>>730294530
Mad roastie or mad brobot? Hard to tell, my bet's on mad roastie.

>fuck other men as you fuck other woman
Big difference, like the one between a lock and a key.

Gave her father a goat and a chicken

>>730289259
kek

>>730283750
i don't masturbate either but i still want sex all the time. some people just don't like masturbating

>>730295155
You are all demented viruses engineered form birth you fucking fools. Go reproduce like a fucking animal, nothing is real, you're all fake l will destroy everything, you know nothing and think you know everything, l want to kill you but you wouldn't enough you all need to die. Homosapiens the virus on the planet

>>730295394
As someone who masturbates at least once a day and never gets laid, i believe your position is probably healthier.

You get no porn addiction or desensitization and probably go full animal instinct while fucking

>>730294982
Yeah bro. I realise now that I should have simply broken up with my ex at the time, but I was worried about hurting her. The irony....

It may have made me a jerk, that's true, but it has also lead me to be quite happy. So I'm not sure what the lesson is there.

I used to wield honesty like a weapon, and this dishonesty, my own, rocked my shit up real bad for a time.

>>730286636
>>730291339
>has guys making her grind on them
>Fucked a dude in the cupboard

So youre either one of two things:

1) A worthless cuck

2) A nigger trolling

>>730295704
> it has also lead me to be quite happy. So I'm not sure what the lesson is there.
This isn't where you find your lesson

>I used to wield honesty like a weapon, and this dishonesty, my own, rocked my shit up real bad for a time.
This is, and you seem to have learned it. But i wouldn't know.

>>730285796
her reaction to being okay with it should have been your first indication you fucked up

She bought video game gold from me on e-Bay

>>730296172
Perhaps my friend, perhaps.

I'd like to think the lesson was learned. I paid my penance and am quite happy. So is my ex from what I understand.

So I guess it all worked out in the end for all parties involved.

>>730295942
nigger trolling no doubt.

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>>730279105
>be me, a barista at sbux
>try picking up a shift for extra $$
>show up to the wrong store at 430am
>chat with the cute redhead at the counter
>she thinks it's funny I showed up at the wrong store
>few days later ask tell a mutual friend that works at that store to tell cute redhead "I'm single and ready to mingle." but really intended for her to just say that I thought she was cute and would like to go out sometime.
>she repeats what I said verbatim.
>redhead thinks it's funny, agrees to a double date
>we see mutual friends play and go on double date
>go solo for drinks after, tell her I'd like to go out again after.
>hug goodnight, no kiss

4 years later, quite happy.

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>>730279105
Bought her off the internet.
>pic related

>>730283750
big toe too long, would not fuck

Bought one in the Philippines.

I kind of stole her from my ex best friend. He wasn't trying and made her feel bad despite hher doing a lot for him all the time. I decided she was pretty hot and worth more with someone who would actually support her. So now she's my best friend and she's okay with fucking me several times a day. Actually damn good at VG and makes me food. Solid 8/10 too.

>>730279105
I liked her found out she liked me from a friend. Went to her right away said I knew that she liked me and that I liked her back. I kissed and we've been together ever since. Going on 25 years. She's still my best friend, hot and fun and the sex is still the best it's ever been.

Met through a mutual friend & went to the same church for a while.

>Had a bad breakup 2 years prior, was a fucking mess.
>I kinda rebounded towards her at the time
>Consciously did not act on it, as I felt I had lost myself in my previous relationship.
>She moved out of town to pursue career goals and started seeing someone.

>2 years later
>I'm doing well, learned to enjoy being single.
>She shows up in town for a visit.
>We're old friends (well, old by my standards, I moved a lot growing up), so I make the conscious effort to hang out.
>At some point the state of her current relationship comes up.
>It's bad.
>Guy's depressed, obsessive, they've been on/off for some time.
>Give as solid of advice as I can to help her work through it.
>My ex was seeing another guy towards the end of the old relationship, so I am unwilling to do anything that makes me "the other guy", so giving sabotage advice is off the table.

>She goes back
>We keep in touch
>Relationship falls apart on it's own terms.
>Guy ends up on suicide watch.
>Her health deteriorates & she has to come back to town & stay with her parents.

>Consider asking her out
>Don't want to push her into a new relationship, considering how being single for a while was a huge help for me in my life.
>Decide it's presumptuous to make that decision for her, and I'm stuck hiding how I feel otherwise.
>"Mind if I say something awkward?"
>Told her how I felt
>She had similar ideas about not wanting to jump straight into the next relationship
>Still hang out, "just friends"
>3 months later we're officially a couple

We have no anniversary.

>>730294943
Poster here. didnt abandon, just had dinner

I dont talk about it because I feel shame over it still, even though I am now married and 51 years old with a decent life