wake up 2am see this what do

Fap

fuck em in the pooper

Tell those space niggers about the second amendment

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>get a sweet alien blowjob
>welcome to earth

fuck off guise, i told you fuckers no party hard happy drunk times tonight

>>729829430

"what took you so long?"
*grab "go" bag from under my bed*

>hit blunt
>aylmao who's driving?

>>729829430
take a selfie

>>729829430
Y'all got any wifi? I'm trying to jerk off here.

>>729829430
>say AYY LMAO

>>729829430
TrICK QUeeSTION!!! I would never be asleep by 2am...

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>>729829430
>mfw i never wake up at 2am
hehe, nice try aliens, try harder next time.

>>729829430

Light up 4 joints

>>729829430
Pull the blankets over my head and hold real still so they won't know I'm there and will leave...

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more like what i would do to them

harakiri

can't handle the greys

>>729829430
cover my butthole and run

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>aliens start probing me
>rip the sickest fucking fart
>mfw I'm getting vaporized as they're wafting in my dookie fumes

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offer to eat their ass

I'd scream.

>show me the alien titties!

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Call Tom Delonge

>>729829430
AYYY LMAO
SMOKE DIS KUSH WIT ME NIGGA 4/20

>>729829430
scream

The grays are pretty much the hive mind slaves for the reptilian.

You can at least fuck with them by hollaring random commands. They'd still have their way with you though ultimately.

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>>729829430

>>729829430
Get fully nude and have an intergalactic foursome

>>729833329
Please keep your autism inside >>>/x/

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>>729829430

>>729829430
Assume the position

>>729829430
Get on all 4s and let them "probe" me.

>>729829430
crai ;-;

>>729829430
Tell those space niggers earth is full.. go to sleep.

Giggle like a Japanese school girl.

Call my dealer to get some more of whatever the fuck it was I took.

>>729829430
What's wrong with their heads?

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Cum on thier faces.

>>729834693
Can they at least crash on the moon

>>729829430
Hello gentlemen, I see you are interested in studying humans! Well, I'm more than happy to comply in demonstrating our reproductive habits! Feel free to bring in a selection of females so you can learn everything about human mating.

Have them refuckulate the carbonator and take me to Juniper to get some space weed.

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ask for hacks

>>729829430
I remember as a kidbi dreamt about a similar image to this and one time I had a mind trip after a super big wax dab and the images were of aliens in my brain controlling me like a video game

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>>729829430
>be me
>be 6 years old
>christmas eve
>wake up in the middle of the night scared
>head towards parents bedroom
>last thing I remember is seeing a ball of light floating out of the fireplace
>wake up thinking I saw santa clause

>4 years later
>go downstairs in the middle of the night
>grey alien looking at me from the other side of the sliding glass door
>panic
>try to scream, but nothing comes out
>black out
>wake up the next morning thinking it was all a dream

>have similar reoccurring dreams for years

>earliest memory is of me being held by a strange adult, while we're both covered in what looks like cream of mushroom soup

>mrw i occasionally remember all this

>>729836957
Shit that never happened for $1000, Alex.

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>>729829430
>be me
>wake up 2am
>see aliens
>they say come with us
>say fuck off niggers
>roll over and go back to sleep
>they teleport me to mothership
>wtfiwasasleep.jpeg
>they start probing my anus
>decide to play it off and make a joke
>'hey, you could at least buy me dinner first'
>nothings open right now, it's 2am
>dennys is 24hrs anywhere in the galaxy
>mfw my ass hurt but they still paid for my grand slam

>>729837179
Nope, that's exactly how I remember it. I'm not delusional enough to think I'm special, or that aliens would travel hundreds of light years just to fuck with me.

My best guess is screen memories for childhood abuse, or my celtic ancestry coming back to haunt me.

>>729836957
>earliest memory is of me being held by a strange adult, while we're both covered in what looks like cream of mushroom soup

Nigga you got raped

>>729837215
>dinner at 2am
breakfast would be the correct choice

>>729837693

Probably.

I also had a freak genetic condition that led me to having had my genitals measured every six months. I also had to have my testicles surgically descended.

Basically, the last 33 years of my life have been hell, and even my own dreams offer no respite.

Sorry for the shit grammar guys I'm from Russia but I really need your input on this

There's this light over the forest near my house. I know it's not a star because I can see it even when it's cloudy. I just know it's them. I feel like they can hear what's inside my mind but they probably don't speak my language. They might be terrified and waiting for me to make the first move. They can't approach me inside the city without putting themselves in danger. Tomorrow night I will walk as far as I can in the forest. Away from civilization. Maybe they will come down and try to talk to me or do whatever they do to communicate.

What's the worst thing that could happen? Death? That's obviously not how they should start their relationship with humans and they're smart enough to know that. They probably just want enough resources to go back on their home planet. I will try to establish a relation and visit them until I can translate their intention clearly. We will adapt their technology to work with our fuel and they will find a way to pay us back with some kind of blueprint.

If they show up and they can't speak Russian, English or French. How do I communicate with them? What should I do first? Should I bring lube? A map of the earth? A 3D model of our solar system? The periodic table? A lighter? Weed?

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close my fucking eyes because by now there is nothing i can do to help myself. besides i cant fucking move anything besides my fingertips. so close eyes an telepathically communicate bitch

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Go back to fucking sleep i got work in the morning

>>729829430
Ask them to kill me

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>>729839103
>They can't approach me inside the city without putting themselves in danger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCsBPbRXnmY

>>729839103
I am russia too. For think to believe aliens do with what they do must be think i can go if they can

>>729838395
dude same here to all that

I have sleep paralysis and swore these fuckers were coming to get me. Id wake up unable to move. They would float me up and I would black out after that. Kinda like I was a blond chick at Cosbys house. I'd get so scared when I was younger. As I got older I got more and more pissed. Long story short, I either dreamed I killed one, or I killed one. Funny thing is, they don't come around anymore.

>>729836957
draw them

>>729838164
You ever heard anyone say at least take me to breakfast first

Dumbass

>>729839730
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCsBPbRXnmY
bullshit i live in nyc i was abducted in the middle of the night

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>>729843055
>ayy lmao lets just abduct someone in the most populated city in America. Nobody will notice us hovering over New York with out giant nuclear spaceship

>>729843853
i dont remember floating up into a space ship but i do distincly remember two figure coming into my room while i couldnt move

Get erection, prepare anus

>>729839103
Timestamp and post on >>>/x/

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Run naked all over the neighborhood and yell AYY LMAO

>>729829430
poop pants & /thread cus im abducted now.

Pff, what are they going to do, probe me?