Sup cunts. Lets do some roleplay. First one to reply gives me

>>729824677
Open your asshole

Love the full set too

>>729824677
loktar green nigger

>>729824871
You stand up, face the orc, and spread your asshole. He steps back in confusion.
How do you proceed?

>>729824677
Scream "TOLO DAN NAN GALAD!" and charge him.

>>729824677
suck his 12" green cock

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I SHOW HIM MY AWESOME B/O BLOCKING
PPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>729825074
"I'm all yours big boy."

>>729825190
You pull out a stick of deodorant and toss it at him. He whips it back. It hits you in the head.
How do you proceed?

>>729825365
Pull out an oversized weeabo anime sword, give some retarded fucking speech about my dead parents, and slash him in the cock.

Chinees met octopus

>>729825660
You pull out the Bimbai Chingaling. "FOR MY DEAD PARENTS who were killed in an orgy..." You cut his dick off. he falls to the ground trying to cover the wound.
How do you proceed?

>>729825804
Take his amputated penis, raise it to the heavens and use it to channel the energy of some Eldritch gods.

Then, of course, laugh and point at the orc. Call him a filthy greenskin, shit like that.

>>729826110
The gods, annoyed, at your retarded offering, blasts you. The Bimbai Chingaling is destroyed, and you hit a tree. You manage to draw a few insults out, but the orc is paying attention to his bleeding green cock.
How do you proceed?

>>729826375
fuck me
~blast you

>>729826375
Slowly stand up, walk over to the orc, and punch him until he dies. He's not even putting up a fight.

>>729827095
You give the orc a brutal beating. You use rocks and sticks to bash him until his skull is completely caved in. You then get up. You spot a village along the path.
How do you proceed?

Gather up the pieces of the Bimbai Chingaling, walk to the nearest blacksmith and ask if he can repair it. I'll shove some exposition down his throat about my dead parents again, as a dirty weeb.

>>729825074
It's all ogre now

>>729827384
The Bimbai Chingaling was destroyed. Not shattered, destroyed.

>>729827494
Well shit. The destroyed blade then. Unless you mean vaporized, my statement remains the same.

You see a village down the path.
How do you proceed?

>>729827628
Yeah, sorry. I guess i should have been more specific. I just didn't wanna deal with the fuckin Bimbai Chingaling. Feel free to use another action. To clarify, it's a pile of ash now

Take the orc's body to the village and offer it to the local mage.

>>729828389
Dragging the pulpy corpse over to the mage, you say you will sell it for 10 gold. Your response is a torrent of vomit hitting your boots. What did you expect giving a mage a mutilated corpse?
How do you proceed?

Cook orc in a stew and forcefully feed the mage the orc stew till he leaks the stew

>>729828508
>feels testosterone boiling after being humiliated with vomit
>challenges mage to a battle of fisticuffs

>>729828774
You look, but there is no way to cook the orc. You attempt to stuff the brain pulp into his mouth, but you are bashed and dragged out of the village by the guards.
How do you proceed?

Scream loudly at the guards to unhand me or I will use the power of the gods to smite the town

>>729828508
Contract aids

>>729828977
Explore your surroundings.

>>729829119
Kek.

>>729829119
You scream at the closed gate, but no response comes. The gods are already annoyed by your Orc Penis offering, they won't aid you for a while.

>>729829265
Explore your surroundings.

I use my black magic and summon Tyrone watermelon. I tell him the guards have watermelon.

F5

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>>729824677

Shoot with crossbow.

>>729829420
You look around. Behind you is the village. TO the left is what looks like a small, well worn path. To your right is a cobble road. Your throwing out has lead to people on the road glancing at you strangely.
How do you Proceed?

>>729829597
Continue down well-worn path.

>>729829597
I walk down the cobble stone path,

>>729829793
You stride down the path confidently with a dagger for stray branches. A few minutes in and you hear a rustling to the side. A closer look reveals a small group of goblins about to kill a girl.
How do you proceed?

>>729830129

Quickly appease the gods to grant you magical powers to "save the girl."

>>729830403
The gods being pissed at you, bump you into the clearing. The goblins turn and draw their swords.

>>729830555
To appease the gods, I sacrifice the girl. Then give the body to the goblins

>>729830555
Run through the horde, grabbing the girl and attempting to escape.

>>729830739
You make a dash for the girl to sacrifice her. However, the goblins think you are trying to rescue her. One slashes your side.

>>729830962
I worry not, as more blood will go to the gods. I grab my sides and continue to the girl. With a knife in my hands

>>729831093
You stab the girl in the skull. She falls dead to the ground. The more evil gods are happy, however the good ones are not. The goblins leave you alone, seeing as you haven't harmed their meal besides killing it.
How do you proceed?

>>729831287
I attempt to patch my self up


Also check surroundings

>>729831480
You wrap your side in bandages. You remember that the path continues on.

>>729831593
I countinue down the path.


(Any specific armour I have?)

>>729831593
Look to the girl, then to the goblins. Remember your earlier bout with the mage and become enraged. Flail hands in a magical manner in an attempt to conjure some power the gods may have provided you against the goblins.

>>729831880
You stroll down the path, and decide to do a quick inventory check. You have a dagger, some food. and a canteen. You are wearing leather armor and boots. Just then, you spot an orc. This one looks stronger than the first.

>>729832333
Remember your earlier bout with the mage and become enraged. Flail hands in a magical manner in an attempt to conjure some power the gods may have provided you against the orc.

>>729832569
A sinister presence seems to recall your sacrifice of the girl. The orc's arms burst. It is defenseless.

>>729832785
I draw a star in its chest as it's still alive, and cut off its tounge. For the evil god nazleam

>>729832785
Approach the beast. Slit its throat, pouring its blood into the canteen for later use. If still alive, the orc is bludgeoned to death with deadly punches.

>>729833008
>You don't pick names cunt
You carve a star in, and cut it's tongue out. The tongue will fetch a good price. The same sinister presence feels pleased.
How do you proceed?

>>729833247
I then proceed to fill my canteen up with its blood. And leave it in pain.>>729833247

>>729833247
Return to the village to offer tongue to mage.

>>729833465
Your canteen has water. To replace it with blood would be a waste of both water and a canteen. You walk off leaving the orc writhing on the ground. You see another village. Maybe you won't get kicked out this time?

>>729833727
Enter the village, seeking a deal for the orc tongue.

>>729833727
I head over to the village and search for a merchant

>>729833846
The local mage proves both toughstomached and kind. He gives you a generous 15 gold. There is a bar, an inn, and a blacksmith's.
How do you proceed?

>>729834064
I go to the blacksmith in search of a sword

>>729834138
The blacksmith has 2 swords. One is a decent one, for 5 gold. One is a high quality one, for 10. You do also need other things.

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The village mayor bursts into the shop demanding the unwelcome traveller be slain immediately

BOSS ENCOUNTER
Which weapon do you draw?
>odds your new sword
>evens fight barehanded
>dubs cast a spell of your choice

Be me
>some orc just doing his thing
>some guy comes to me and waves, so I go to wave back
>then my arms are fucking gone and he starts to do santanic shit to me

>>729834258
I take the 5 gold one and go to the bar

>>729834447
you fuck off. you are not op...

>>729834678
Seconded.

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For once there's a enjoyable thread on this shit board, good job op.

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bumping with better shit than OP's snail-paced text-only fagventure

>>729824677
stop playing games made by a company that's such shit they make movies and card games now instead of vidya

>>729834658
You walk in. There are several kegs with taps. A bartender is managing them. There are 2 rogues in 1 corner, and a merchant in the other.
How do you proceed?

>>729834781
thanks man! just having some fun writing.

>>729834997
I go to the merchant and see what he has.

>>729834997
Go to merchant.

>>729835117
The merchant looks up. He has a leather helmet (5 g), a pair of steel plated gloves (10 g) , and some food (3 g) You have 10 g.
How do you proceed?

>>729835082
Props to you, btw, wht world are we in? DnD? Skyrim?

>>729835369
I ask for the food and the helmet.

>>729835378
Just any. Its fantasy. If you want Dnd, because that does have a wide scape. I will make more threads, and i guarantee that i will start with that image and filename.

>>729835605
Sweet, I look forward to it, hopefully not to many tards join the thread

>>729835605
Buy helmet and food, spend 2g on drinks to share with rogues

>>729835482
Buying the helmet and food, you are down to 2 g. The rogues seem stressed, like they might need some help. ;)

>>729835868
Spend remaining gold getting drunk with rogues

>>729835837
They usually filter out by the middle. And we get here, where it's real rp.

>>729834997
Go to the rogues. Get ready to push a hard bargain: we're in it for the gold.

Erp

>>729835922
You and the rogues get fucking smashed. One of them mentions that they were cheated out of their money by the innkeeper.

Loving this thread, OP.

>>729836249
Thanks!

>>729836156
I throw on the idea of sacraficing the inns keeper

>>729836379
You got kik or somthing?

>>729836413
The rogues tell you that they need their gold back first, but you can't kill him. Maybe after you finish it for them?

>>729836475
nah. I have skype..

>>729836530
I agree to there terms and go to shake their hands

>>729836530
Threaten inkeeper with threats of dark magic
Roll intimidation
Later sacrifice him to our new dark lord in hopes of a boon

>>729836611
They say they will give you a quarter of the gold. You head to the inn and see the inkeeper.

>>729836611
Dang, beat me by a couple seconds and double dubs. Checked.

>>729836576
Username? I woundt mind doing a 1on1 rp

>>729836708
Grab the innkeeper by the collar, pinning him against the wall.

>>729836723
You should do the next bunch, I'll just watch

>>729836880
He cries in fear, asking what you want. You tell him the rogues want their money back. He tells you that the rogues traded sex for a room, but he still made them pay. He said he will give you half the gold.
Do you use morals or be greedy?

>>729837066
Greed

>>729836755
my username is prerequisitenope

>>729837066
Intimidate him into giving all his gold and a bottle of liquor

>>729837066
He gives you the money, a whopping 20 gold. You walk out of the village a richer man. In the distance you see a mountain with a large tower on it. Could be profitable.

>>729837334
Go and see the rogues, see if they want to raid mountain tower.

Hol up, we never sacrificed him

>>729837334
The rogues ask for their money. You say you don't have it, but they could come raid with you. They agree.
>Party member get: rogue 1 & rogue 2/

>>729837680
Go and murder and plunder tower for the glory of our dark god.

>>729837752
You come to the entrance of the tower and kick the door in. You see 2 harpies with tridents.
How do you proceed?

>>729837908
Rape/murder them and anoint ourselves with the blood

>>729837908
I attempt to use my evil magic on the two.

>>729837958
Ohfuck.jpg

>>729837958
>lets go with murder you disgusting bastard
You distract the harpies while the rogues backstab them. The rogues let you praise your sinister voice, and you move on to the next level. You find a chest.
How do you proceed?

>>729838199
Rogues are upgraded to tridentrogues. Make one of them open chest. Stand back a bit.

I ask one of the rouges to go check it out

>>729838356
The chest swallows rogue #1. It's a mimic!
>Party member loose!: Rogue 1
How do you proceed?

>>729838599
Thank you, Dark Souls.

Fucking knew it.

I use my magic to attempt to kill it

>>729838728
Yeah thats what i was going for

>>729838816
The mimic looks as if under great pain. You could finish it now.

>>729838949
Proclaim the kill for our dark lord, and finish the mimic brutally.

Broodl

>>729839018
You cry out a demonic phrase and mutilate the mimic. It spits out rogue 1's trident and 40 gold. You split the gold with rogue 2 and move on. The next room is empty.
How do you proceed?

>>729839243
Have rogue search for traps/secret doors

Otherwise move on

I ask the rouge to scout out ahead

>>729839331
The rogue dodges 2 spears and an arrow. You follow, dodging the traps as well. Ahead is a big gate that SCREAMS (not literally) boss.
How do you proceed?

I ask the rouge if they wanna turn back

>>729839502
As always send rogue in first, pray to dark lord for a boon to assist in this glorious kill

>>729839647
They say that they want to avenge their sister.

>>729839775
>>729839714
this

Just do what the secound one said

>>729839839
You feel empowered, and you notice a strange green glow. The rogue walks in and is immediately squashed. You pick up their 20 g, and run to confront the dragon that killed your fodder/
>Party member lost: Rogue 2!

I drag rouge two to the dragon, as a sacrifice, then I use all of my magical being and slay the dragon

>>729840064
Run and grab rogue's trident, thrusting it into the heart of the beast with our empowered strength. PRAISE OUR DARK LORD.

Anoint ourself with blood of dragons

Loot

>note that there fucking shittard while doing this because of the booze

Nigga u dead?

>>729840212
The dragon is not interested. You channel all of your power into your arm, and become locked against the dragon's claw. You struggle, and eventually you leave the sword, vault over, and rip it's eye out. You then grab your sword and plunge it into the dragon's neck. The sword immediately dissolves from your pressure and the dragon blood. Behind the dragon is a high quality sword, a full set of iron ( helmet, boots, gloves, armor), and a shield. You journey back to the village and collapse in the inn. You may want to buy more things?

STAT RUNDOWN!
You:
Dagger
Canteen - Water
70 gold
Leather Armor
Leather boots
High quality Sword - worth 10 g
Leather Helmet - worth 2 g
Food- worth 3 g
Dragon Eye - worth 250 g
Shield - worth 20 g

>>729840876
Any magical stuff?
Also buy and sacrifice a hooker.

I ask the inn keeper for a favor, then when we are alone I sacrifice him to the dark lord

>>729840977

My nigga

>>729840941
What happened to the iron set? Did we not grab it?

>>729840977
>dubs got you your hooker
You find a hooker and take her into the woods. you quickly fuck, killl, then sacrifice her. Your dark lord gives an even more pleased hum. You go to the mage to buy items.
The mage has a fireball tome (50 g), a charisma ring (10 g), and a wand (3 g)
Your gold: 70
You have a dragon eye worth 250 g

Sell dragon eye, buy everything

Ask if he knows where we can find some shit to fuck up