Tell me your secrets /b/

>>729687722
my moms friend tried to fonger me in the back of my moms car

I pull my dick out before I get to the urinal

i am the hacker 4chan

>>729687722
Killed hobo

>>729687722
One time when a friend was staying the night, I jerked off while he was sleeping in the same room.

I know the caramel secret

>>729687790
Fonger you? That animal...

I lost my virginity to my cousin. Im a guy shes a girl. She used to let me suck on her tits while i jerked off. Then one day i just said why dont you just jerk me off. Thats where it all started

>>729688313

one time my roommate jerked off while he tought i was asleep but i pretended to be asleep anyway so it wouldnt be awkward

>>729687722
I always piss sitting down.

I got pizza with some pork in it, and my muslim family ate it without noticing.

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>>729688799
Dubs
> do go on, anon. In much greater detail.

I haven't fucked my gf for months and she doesn't even think that I masturbate. she's started saying I should see the doctor to check if I have low testosterone.

I fap about 8 times a week on average.

My by hasn't fucked me in months. He assumes I don't think he masturbates and that I don't care. I've been fucking his best friend for a year desu

>>729687974

for some reason i kek'd audibly

Burnded down my neighbors house

Once i tried killing my self at night by hanging, but I sleep in the nude so I ended up masturbating when I got hard so that's how I discovered auto erotic asphyxiation

I've fucked several of my in-laws.

>>729689070
Lazy bitch

>>729690277
jokes on you, I don't have any friends

>>729687722
There are days where I can not even function without looking in the mirror, staring myself in the eye, and convincing myself, that one day, I will kill every living being on this planet. The fucked up part of it all is, I have kids.

>>729690977
You sure don't honey, the one you thought you had has been fucking me senseless

>>729687722
rubbed my butthole with my finger and rubbed it on my bosses coke can. the part where your mouth goes. he's a fucking dick

>>729687722
when I was 6 I tried to throw my mother out of the window of our apartment but I didn't have enough courage

>>729691073
Damn anon, you should, ya know, seek help for that shit.

>>729687722
I burned down my mother's house, and let my step brother take the fall for it.

My secret is that I am actually boring as fuck and as a result have no secrets.

I wish I understood economics better.

>>729687722
sometimes I venture off into the forest and jack off onto any squirrels I see

>>729687832
I sometimes don't lock the door >>729688163

>>729687722
I'm considering what kind of alcohol I should try to get my daughter to try this weekend while mom is at her sisters.

>>729692046
how old is she?

>>729692578
12

>>729692695
something sweet, then

>>729692832
Yeah but what's sweet enough?

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Im a dyke in a long distance relatioship with the girl of my dreams for over 2 years now. About a year ago i coudlnt find a job and couldnt afford to eat and had to sell my body in order to not starve. Was not attracted to any of the guys at all, was the worst sex ever, and it felt like i was getting paid to let men rape me.

Iv never told my gf because im too ashamed that i cheated on her by prostituting myself. I feel guilty all day every day but i dont know how to tell her.

>>729692898
If liquor Malibu, wine coolers otherwise

>>729692938
you just have to forgive yourself, you cant wait for anyone else to because your own forgiveness is the only forgiveness that matters. you did what it took to survive and no one else was there to take care of you so no one else can judge how you made it through.

>>729692938
Show your tits and I'll tell you

>>729692938
kek

>>729693129
>nobody was there to take care of you so you're free to be a whore guilt free!
You may actually be retarded

>>729687722
I had a secret boyfriend in high school. We were on the baseball team together. No one knew about us. We're at different colleges now. We hung out a lot over the Christmas break and plan on hanging out again over the coming summer break. Neither of us is out of the closet yet.

>>729693159
im not here for attention i dont care if you tell me.

>>729693129
How do i forgive myself for cheating on her though

>>729687722
I've swapped head with a guy older than my dad (my dad is 40 years older than I am).

>>729693252
Would you rather starve or sell your body. Honest question.

>>729693387
Starve. Would starve before I'd put another man's meat in my mouth. I'd also be able to find a manual labor job at the very least.

>>729693252
>>implying female chastity is an important thing or that you wouldnt do the same thing in the same situation

>>enjoy your morals idiot

her body her life her consequences not yours

>>729692898
look in the sections marketed at teen girls who dont like the taste of booze. bright colors, usually vodka or wine based ,lots of sugar.

alternatively, mix up orange juice with vodka or sparkling wine, or any spirit you want with coke.

>>729693275
You dont. You're a whore and that's all there is to it. Tell her and move on

>>729693532
This was in alberta right after the oil and gas crash. Everyone was out of work, there were literally 500+ people trying to apply for the same jobs as you. I tried so hard and just couldnt find anything, this was a last resort.

>>729693532
>>implying women have manual labor opportunities

>>implying your more afraid of penis than death lol

>>729692938
get tested

>>729692938
>seeking out consensual sex with men and calling it rape
>claiming alternative sexualities exist
smells like b8 in here

I'm afraid my shota fetish is getting out of hand. I fapped to pictures on /bl/ the other night

>>729693553
See>>729693532
Faggot. She doesn't need to be chaste as a female, she needs to respect her relationship.

>>729693610
:/ i guess you are right. Better to be a whore than dead.

>>729693275
you were only cheating physically which is definitely the least important part of commitment. i seriously dont think you cheated but i understand why you feel guilty. your body only belongs to you and you used it to survive.

>>729693673
Not sucking dick to stay alive, not a life worth living to me I'm not a trap chasing cuck like most of you. Can't find work? Find a new place. Steal and hitchhike your way into a place where you can do something more than suck dick

>>729687722
I have no reasons to live besides hopes for things and people that will never realistically happen.

>>729693075
>>729693566
I'm worried wine coolers won't bring on a significant buzz, but I want it to taste virtually nothing like alcohol so she isn't turned off to it.

>>729693727
she only implying it was about as enjoyable as rape, so not really the same thing.

>>729693999
Why are you trying to get her drunk exactly?

I got the herps. I give it to every girl I can. I always take a hit of there cigs at the bar, I don't smoke. Any other ways I can spread my love?

>>729694119
Just for fun. I might snap some pics of her if she gets silly, or falls asleep. No big expectations.

>>729693977
if this was in alberta its actually really hard place to get out off and really dangerous to commit crimes there. caught shop lifting? how about getting shot.

>>729693670
Excuses whore
>>729693781
W H O R E
H
O
R
E

>>729693727
I said it FELT like i was being raped you illiterate moron. It was consensual but only because i was so fucking hungry i would have had sex with a lamp post. I was forcing my body to have sex with people i found phsysically revolting. So yes, it felt like i was forcing my body to be raped sometimes. I
>>claiming alternative sexualities exist
You must be 18 years or older to post on this site

>>729693705
i only used condoms and iv been tested

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I cheat on my boyfriend frequently and he has no idea. I just use him to provide for me :)

Posted before but I'm 18. Started bedwetting not too long ago, frequently. My parents didn't know, but recently told them so I can go to the doctor. I think I have an appointment sometime next week, hope I'm not dying. I don't want to be wetting the bed when I go to college and live in a dorm room so.

>>729694205
Is it a weird sex thing?

>>729693999
checked

she's 12 dude, it does not take much to give a 12 year old a buzz - 3 drinks and she'll be having the time of her life.

>>729694235
>I said it FELT like i was being raped you illiterate moran
might want to check your spelling with your privilege

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Obsessed with my sisters feet. Just took these.

>>729694234
Yes, i am a whore. Do you think you're edgy for calling me somethng i admitted to in my first post? Come back in a few years when your balls drop hun.

When I was 16 I had snuck over to my bf house. We took some molly and tried to have sex but he couldn't get hard. He started drinking and passed out I took another pill. I decided to leave and stumbled my way out. When I got near the door in the living room I say his little brother was awake in the den. I opened the door and saw him little brother with his pants down watching porn with headphones on. I'm rolling and horny so I walk up behind him giggling and take the head phones off. He lets out a light yell and jumps 4 feet up. I'm laughing as quiet as I can but he looks like he's gonna cry. I'm still laughing to hard to talk but I grab his hand and put it on my boob. That shut him up. I reached down with my hand and rubbed his dick. His little dick was rock hard. I sat him down in the computer chair lifted my skirt up and took my panties off. I got on top of him and put him inside me. I moved up and down twice and I felt him twitch inside me as he came. He was hugging me and had his hands clamped around my back. His little cock stayed hard so I rode him again and he lasted about five minutes this time. I got off of him and asked him to get the door for me. He let me out and I walked all the way home still rolling. When I woke up the next morning I felt disgusted with myself but also a little turned on.

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>>729694391
Good they make me so fucking hard.

>>729694228
Oooooooh why the fuck are you in Alberta with nobody to depend on, no job, and no transportation

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>>729694372
But i spelt it moron in my post. Why bother lying when its so easy to just screenshot? Are you new?

>>729694297
I wish
>>729694306
Yeah that should be fine. She's asked to try it before. Didn't like beer, but even I didn't like beer until I was adult.

>>729694394
When my balls drop can I drop a hot load on your face for 20 dollars Canadian too whore?

i like having discussions / fascinations about rape on kik, usually making up stories that aint real

>>729694447
Whore

i know my gf cheats on me and idc

>>729694458
You should cum in her shoes anon

>>729694548
You werent talking to me there but i was born in alberta, my parents disowned me after they found i was a carpet muncher and refused to pay for school for me after saying they would for my entire life. I had a job before the crash but lost it

I fucked my cousin when I visited them last summer. I plan on going back out this summer and fucking her again. She texts me every day saying she wants to explore. She's 16

>>729687722
Raped my 12 year old brother when I was 13.

>>729694559
Make a light long island. One or two and she will be lit and you can split

My bf treats me like shit and I don't know why I can't break up with him. He want's me to change averything about me and blames on me every fight we have. What a shitty relationshp, huh.

>>729694751
Hot did you cum in his mouth?

>>729694615
Thx for admitting you are underage
, inc b&

Also no sorry im ok financially now, i live with my grandparents.

>>729692938
By starving, do you mean actually starving, or do you mean having withdrawals from your drug addiction? Because any girl alive, straight, gay, or other, knows they can sweet talk anybody into letting them eat.

Don't tell your GF. Ever. You need to keep that locked up, and if you can't then you need to break up.

I have this odd fascination with Jonestown particularly how Jim could manipulate so many people at once.

>>729687722
Ah friend of mine putted a virus to spy on my on my new computer, then contacted the goverment saying he and his friends are in illegal activities.

>>729694718
And literally had no money from that job to possibly get to your gf or a homeless shelter or literally anywhere to keep cock out of you?
Also
>>729694615

>>729688313
This is nothing dude

>>729694689
You are just jealous of that boy

>>729694806
no, in his butt, never put my cock in his mouth

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>>729694555
nice photoshop fgt
>also checked

>>729694879
>actually starving,
i was going 2-3 days with no food. Im not a junkie sorry, worst iv done is drop acid and X in a few raves before but not nearly enough to have any dependencies.

>>729694896
also it is no longer a secret I guess kek.

>>729694236
Yawn. Your story is hardly unique.

>>729694951
Damn straight in the pooper what did you use for lube? Did he cry?

>>729694804
hey same with my gf

welcome to the world of emotionally abusive partners, it's a real fun ride

>>729694911
>And literally had no money from that job
i had a few thousand saved up, that got me a few months of rent and food before i ran out. You must not have ever had to pay for things yourself.

>>729694957
This is probably the worst damage control iv ever seen. After i go piss im just going to take a gif of my post and then you can kys

>>729694447
Nice.

>>729694951
did this happen just once? does he remember?

I like to engage in consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

>>729695179
I have ALWAYS had to pay for things myself which is why I don't have an understanding of why you didn't hustle to make moves and get out of that town. You can get pretty far on a grand and start somewhere better. Darlin, you're as retarded as you are slutty and that's a fact

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> be me, 17
> at a mutual friends house with my cousin (female)
> i have had sone feelings for her before, so has friend
> decide to play some viya
> she isnt interested
> she falls asleep
> friend and i were playing mw2 together
> he decides he is done, so i play by myself
> the room is dark and we're all on his bed together while this is happening
> he lays down in front of me and starts spooning cousin
> rubbing her ass
> grabbing her tits, even playing with her nipples
> can see it all, not sure what to do because it's turning me on
> end up sitting there and watching, pretending to not notice

>>729688999
trips
checked

>>729695063
hand lotion for lube, it happened because he walked in on me while I was jerking off, and yes, he did cry

>>729695233
it happened probably about 50 times, that's just a rough guestimate, and yes, he remembers

>>729687722
i have a life.

My wife and I are in our late 40's. We became stingers two years ago.

I've never fucked my girlfriend of 3 years.

She is afraid of sex. We're both in college. These are prime fucking years and I want to experience sex with her.

I want to try to talk to her about anal this weekend. Any tips?

>>729689070
>>729690881

I do too and I don't understand why it's a big deal.

I just wanna relax while I'm pissing. What's wrong with that?

>>729687722
My secret is im dating 4 women at the moment and they all think im gonna marry them..i know im a bastard but at least im having a good time

>>729694943
True.

>>729695497
50 times, between what ages? I know it's impossible but I'd love to talk to him.

>>729687722
I'm Transgendered <3

>>729694707
Cuck

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>>729695534

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>>729694957
now kys. Also you know people can literally just scroll up and look at the post themselves to see right?

How fucking autistic are you?

>>729695423
Im pretty much the only person my little sister has who treats her nicely and who she has to talk to. Evreryone else in our family treats her like shit and seems to forget shes just a kid. So i dont want to move away and not be there for her. Im sorry im not a sociopath like you.

>>729695771
between when I was 13 and 16, he was 12 and 15 respectively

>>729696049
did he fight it at all? why'd you stop?

>>729687722

I'm relatively sucessful

>>729695892
jesus how much do you have to prove here? I just called you out on the one thing and you're acting like I've told your family about all the dick you sucked, why so much damage control for a typo?

>>729695892
If focusing on self preservation is sociopathic then the whole world is sociopathic. And I guess you got a little bit closer by emotionally numbing yourself by jamming all those cocks in yourself. Your gf must looooove but by now you must not have any feelings for her
>sociopath

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>>729696164

>>729687722
I have a crush on a female

>>729695892
Also obviously fake story. A female that knows how to make webm and has a computer doesn't exist or suck dick for cash

>>729695630
you've never fucked and want to ask her about anal? Good luck

>>729696179
>emotionally numbing yourself by jamming all those cocks in yourself
Its not like i wanted it to happen. Im pretty emotional still. Did a lot of meditation afterwards and managed to mostly get over the "truama". It bothers me a little but im still one of the most caring emotional people ever. No, im not being narcissistic im just going off what other people tell me.

>>729696361
She's apprehensive about vaginal sex only

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>>729695892
>rediculous
what was that about your spelling?

>>729687722
I recently had sex with my cousin's ex-wife

>>729695162
I'm so sorry. It will get better someday, meanwhile good luck and try not to let her put you down, I'm sure you're worth it. <3

>>729696140
he fought it at first but he couldn't stop me, after a while he just let it happen, I stopped because I left for uni

>>729696335
>A female that knows how to make webm
i went to google and typed in how to record a picture, got gzyao, then googled convert mp4 to webm and i found this
http://video.online-convert.com/convert-to-webm

the internet is really handy silly. Dont be upset because you dont know how to do it yourself.

Also im literally on a macbook, thats like that most female computer in the history of computers. Iv only ever seen other girls and cucks with macbooks

>>729696600
>it'll get better someday
not sure about that, I'm 7 years in and it's mostly just getting worse.

We'll figure it out one way or another anon.

I have a journal from middle school that goes into great detail on how i was going to shoot up the school

>>729696445
You should tell your sister about all the jizz you chugged just to listen to her like you could've over the phone from far away, since your apparently hateful parents wouldn't have let you in the house. God this story is falling apart

>>729696760
May wanna burn that or somethin

>>729696680
shame really, do you think he came to enjoy it?

I want a guy to rape me, im girl so it isnt gay.

>>729694394

Are you still whoring

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>>729696513
ok so i spelled one thing wrong because i wanted to show my gf this picture to show her how autistic skyrim modders are. You know when you resort to being a grammar nazi yo are basically just admitting to being a forever alone virgin right.

>>729696703
Should've sold that to avoid some of the cock eh?

>>729696870
Daily

I have herpes and have unprotected sex with women.

Also, I lit a guys truck on fire once

>>729696955
this whole lovely chat of ours is about the fact you misspelled one word and then you blew your top

it's ok though, I've enjoyed taking the b8 m8. makes a nice change from the usual stories you post.

I've always wanted to fuck my step sister, i used to spy on her while taking a shower or getting undressed. One time we were in the hot tub and she started to fall asleep, so i jacked off and came in the water, when she got out it was on her bathing suit. She never said anything about it so i don't know if she noticed or not. She knows that i have these feelings and wasn't mad when she found out but we also never did anything about it. It was somewhat a neutral feeling but we were both young. We have seen eachother naked and have gone streaking and skinny dipping together when our grandparents fell asleep. We are both in relationships now and i had suppressed my feelings, but recently found a pic of her on here. Now i cant stop looking at it and can't stop thinking about her. Sorry for the long post.

>>729696840
No, he hates me, he won't even speak to me at family dinners during holidays

>>729696787
il tell her when shes older maybe. Shes not old enough to understand right now.

>wouldn't have let you in the house
i see her after school sometimes. Shes 13, shes not confined to her house . Are you autistic?

>>729696870
no. mooching off grandparnts, just got a job at a grocery store. Gonna suck the dick of the manager to get a promotion

ps that was a joke.

>>729694235
You are a smelly Dyke hooker. Be proud of your past, bitch.

When i met my GF's mom she was super hot for a 40 something. tall, blonde, big boobs, decent ass, and dressed like a whore. Found her online dating profile and messaged her as some dude who looked rich/handsome. Got a few explicit texts, and boob pic. I wanted to fuck her really bad for a long time, but eventually she got fat as hell. Deleted boob pic because got nervous gf would find one day.

My step sister came onto me once when we were drinking after a family get together. Everyone either left for a movie or was sleeping. She brought me into her room to watch netflix. Cuddling under blankets to keep warm, and then i got up to pee also for more beer. Come back and she's not wearing shorts/panties.One thing led to another and I fingered her while sucking her tits. She gave me a blowjob until I came in her mouth. Went home next day and fucked the living shit out of GF. Step sis still talks to me casual almost flirty but we never brought it up again.

>>729697169
Not as autistic as you, who literally resorted to sucking cock because she was too autistic to figure out any other option. I'd say tell your gf, she deserves better than you

>>729697137
would love to talk more about this off here, any chance?

>>729696984
needed it to stay in contact with my gf, sister, etc etc. Plus its a 5 year old macbook its not going to sell for much. I made more in 1 night than i would have selling it.

>>729697103
You're reaching levels of autism that shouldnt even be possible. You are aware that literally everyone ITT can just scroll up and see i spelt it moron right?

What a terrible and pathetic troll attempt.

>>729694836
That's even more sad than the hooker thing. At least you weren't dependant on your grandparents when you were fluffing those meat poles.

>>729697169
Why not mooch off of your grandparents before, ya know, instead of being used as failed oil worker's fuck toy?

>>729687722
My wife and I had threesomes with our roommate. FFM

It was neat as a novelty and an ego booster but it wasn't worth it past the first try. They weren't into doing stuff with each other so it ended up being me trying to please two women with different tastes at the same time. They said I did great (hope they meant it), but it was hard work, required a lot of focus, and it was exhausting.

And when they double-teamed me it was fun, but not as much as I had hoped. My wife really knows my body well and likes to take it slow. Our roommate sucks dick like a starving Ethiopian with rabies. It felt great, but it was over pretty quickly.

We stopped after four or so times. No regrets. Still happily married. Still have roommate paying rent. Got my threesome merit badge. But never again.

>>729697185
edgy/10

>>729697364
So you just dont even know what the worst autistic means. Underage b& inc. Be happy your mommy and daddy still buy you everything, that might not always happen forever.

>>729697364

If I was a chick I'd probably whore if in hard times. Who cares.

>>729687722
I don't have any real secrets, only that I wish people tried to understand one another better. But what can I say, it's a base world. Full of base people that don't ever have any existential thought.

When I was 12 I was fooling around in the woods behind the trailer park I lived in. When I went further in I heard muffled screaming and loud laughing. When I got close I noticed who it was before I saw what was goin on. It was some older boys (about 15 -17) who were the cool kids in the trailer park so I started to head toward them. It was only after I got really close that I saw her. She was a little Mexican girl from the neighboring trailer park. She hung out with other girls in our park. She was only 10. They had her layed out on the ground blindfolded with duct tape, hands duck taped together and to the tree. They had tied her legs apart with tent spikes. And her panties were taped into her mouth. When they saw me the closes one grabbed me and held me down. He asked" are you gonna squeal you little faggot"? I just shook my head no. Then he said the words that haunt me to this day. He said" yea I know your not cuz your fucking goin next. Take your fucking pants off. I hesitated and he punched me in the back of the head so I said ok. I was nervous and scared but also kinda excited. I leaned in and it was kinda gross she already had cum spilling out of her, her pussy was red and swollen, and her face was also covered in cum. I managed to get hard cuz I was 12 and the wind could get me hard. But all my fear melted as I put my dick in her. After only a few exploratory pumps I grabbed her hips pulled her as close as I could and humped her swollen pussy as hard as I could. The feeling when I came was like lightning with fireworks at the end. im taking to long to move so someone pulls he off her and someone else got on her. They told me I could leave now cuz if I squealed it was my ass to. But I didn't leave. He asked me if I was waiting to go again and I sheepishly nodded. He laughed. They let me fuck her again but then made me stay while they wrapped up. Which consisted of taking out a small bleach bottle pouring a quarter of it in a water bottle and pouring the rest

>>729697378
not a snowball's chance in hell

>>729697566
>worst autistic
You're ARE the worst autistic clearly

>>729697502
because they only just recently moved to alberta? i didnt have money to move to them. they wanted to retire so they moved to high river, which is where i am now

>>729697486
well not everyone has mommy and daddy to take care of them, sometimes we need their mommy and daddy too.

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>>729697409
>What a terrible and pethetic troll attempt.
ok now you're just being silly

>>729695630
Get her pass out drunk and then just put it in her ass. If she asks tell her that she said it was okay and you trusted her. Fake a tear if you have too.

I caught my mom cheating with other guys a few times

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>>729697578
You sound like an alright fellow anon. The world needs more people like you

>>729697590

All over her body. After they poured it on her they poked a hole in the top of the water bottle and shoved in her vag and swqueezed. They then shoved it in her butt and squeezed. They poured some water on her to dilute the acid bath she was in but didn't put any water in her holes. We all ran away after that. It was a huge deal she almost died and is crippled for life cops investigated but no one snitched and no one ever came to question me past did I see anything. Which I said no to. Her family moved away shortly after. This memory has haunted me to this day. I didn't know they were going to bleach her. I should have left I should have got help. But I didn't.

I got a "massage" from a tattooed ex muslim arab/white gypsy trailer trash who didn't want her bf to know what she was doing. She had a great ass

I download pepes and contribute none

I just wanna get fucked by a sadistic guy, I wanna become a whore/cum slut but im a virgin so im too nervous to find anyone who would do that.

>>729697758
Do you blow your grandfather for rent?

>>729697694
that was clearly a typo. If you knew anything about autism you would know they are obsessed with grammar and spelling and constanly feel the need to correct others. You should get yourself diagnosed

https://www.autismspeaks.org/

I'm bi

Why I'm telling 4chan first idfk

>>729697566
Whorish/11. This one goes to eleven.

>>729697127
And you haven't posted said pic, why?

>>729697837
>>729697590

God damn

>>729689123
Absolutely haram

>>729697767
apply yourself. This is some serious low effort trolling. Are you enjoying your first month here?

ur mums a fucking nigger!

>>729698002
Yes i am a whore, that doesnt change the fact you're an edgy underage little faggot ;)

>>729697950
Apparently you don't know what autism means, due to your severe suffering with it. That's okay you dumb whore it will get better. Enjoy packing those bags at the store like all those filthy truckers and riggers packed you full of dick

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>>729698260

>>729693275
Eat shit and die

>>729697758
Sounds like you had lots of daddies take care of you. $20/ per pop.

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>>729697590
>>729697837

>>729696760
Should have done it, pussy

>>729698081
hang on, I'll edit this for comedic effect in a bit but one of our site VPNs just went down

Here
https://youtu.be/8ucNJZ3N8JU

I go in the bathroom at work at least twice a day and nap for half an hour.

I have a pretty boring life

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>>729687722

>>729694236
you sound sexy as fuck
lets see your tits

>>729698193
My balls are probably older than half of the ones you had slap against your ass for cash. Except your grandpa's, he's probably older.

>>729698352
>talks about damage control
>only response is my mommy and daddy stopped taking care of me and your mommy and daddy must still take care of You!
All that trucker semen must have pumped clear into your brain for you to reach retardation levels this high wew lad

>>729698437
Usually it was about $500 or so.

>>729698376
edgy manchild/ edgy manchild

>>729694447
got me hard

>>729694175
I don't know, you can go back to being a bottom, it's how you got it

>>729698851
The things I would do for $500 and you felt like you were letting men rape you.

I used to let my step brother fuck my ass pretty much whenever he wanted.

>>729687722
I once got double dubs. once.

>>729698851
$500? Is that like $22.99 American dollars? What was the exchange rate back then?

>>729694559
Gatorade and vodka.
Really just vodka and something sweet.

>>729694447
I approve

>>729696539
picture?

>>729699199
Nice dubs.

>>729697137
not surprised. you're a piece of shit and I hope he has the courage to go to the police someday.

>>729699198
http://www.bankofcanada.ca/rates/exchange/legacy-noon-and-closing-rates/cad-usd-rate-lookup/?lookupPage=lookup_can_us.php&startRange=1950-01-01&searchType=dates&dFrom=2016-03-24&dTo=2016-04-01&submit=Submit

>>729697101
Tell us more faggot

Same fag detected >>729694175

>>729690109
Don't lose the soap, Leopold.

I'm married but want to have sex with a man. Had a gay experience when I was 16 but am too afraid now because AIDS

me and a friend fucked another friends ex-wife

>>729697137
If this has even remotely truth your the reason people lose hope in the world we live in. Kill yourself, nothing would be lost.

When I was 17, I traveled across the country to meet a man 27 year older than me.

>>729698851
>oil failed
>500 people applying for the same jobs as you
>making $500 per person or even per night
You're story has fallen completely apart

>>729699199
Seems easy enough. And checked.

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Then it wouldn't be a secret

>>729687790
stay classy

>>729687790
My fingers backtried me in the mother of my back

Here is the major secret of my boring pathetic life.

I was raped by a guy I met on the internet when I was 14. My parents were out of town in the summer, I thought I'd invite a guy to my house who I thought was a close friend. I was young and stupid. I thought he was the same age as me. He turned out to be older than he said he was, and it was probably the biggest mistake of my life. Nobody knows. Not my parents, not my friends. I just had to pretend it never happened and move on with my life. I have major trust issues now because of it, aand its hard to let people get close to me.

I probably will be single forever.

>>729688313
That's for faggots, jsut jerk and stare him right at the eye

>>729699968
With a 200 ml bottle of 40%vodka, as a slighty smaller than average adult male with no tolerance, I was feeling a nice buzz
It will take a couple drinks if you don't want her to really taste it. Could also make it into slushies.

>>729688799
Greentext or gtfo

>>729699959
Thats $500 cad. why would i lie about being a lesbian whore? You're just a bad troll and im bored with this thread.

I'm still not done with the eulogy.

I think about you every day, Henry; I'm sorry that I wasn't able to do more for you. You should have said something before hand, maybe to say good bye or to put it off a day.

I think I would have given you some money, explaining that I was worried for you and wasn't sure what else to do that moment. That's why I didn't say more the last time we talked, I couldn't think of anything and didn't want to ramble on , annoying you.

We were suppose to explore Marseille together, though. I'm sure we would have had fun bar hopping. But now that you're gone, how am I suppose to do d some of that exquisite Savon de Marseille?

You're parents, especially your mom, isn't doing well. And your dad is quietly depressed. But, for me, talking to your sister has helped. I promise to visit your grave site when I'm next in France.

You're sister is a really neat person I found out. She found that letter you kept by your bed that I had sent you, that's why she looked for me; and I'm glad she did. I hope talking with me has helped her.

I really wish you were still around. Love you, bro.

i shit myself about a month ago, no one knows and i threw the pants away

>>729700371
I'd like it to sneak up on her. Put on some music. I'm liking the slushie idea.

>>729690977
So is no one gonna acknowledged the fact that dubs replies to dubs and the dubs were the same digits, kek would be disappointed in you all

>>729700476
Not as bad as you have been. That's still almost 400 USD retard

>>729700202
Who cares.

>>729689123
Savage

>>729697522
Sounds like my threesome experience with my ex and her best friend. Novel but lacking in intimacy and pacing.

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>>729700537
Cheers, m8

>>729700598
Yeah. If I remember right their is a gatorade vodka slushie 4chan post floating around.
Aparently used for drunk dicking college girls

>>729691073
Will they be the first to go... or the last?

>>729700202
Get therapy

>>729697843
You absolute monster

>>729700715
>That's still almost 400 USD retard
Yep. Not everyone was poor you know that right? Lots of high end peoples still wanted to fuck random girls for money. You're probably too underage to know this but the sex/porn industries are the only ones to ever do fine during economic troubles because people will still pay for porn and sex when they have nothing.

>>729700826
Swastika expelled anon.
>>729700648
Take your kekromancy back to /pol/

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>>729690713

>>729690277
I've been fucking my best friends gf for over a year. I really just want to fuck him though. He doesn't think I know he's gay but I know he browses /b

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>>729701120
Speaking of going back, /MLP/ is looking for you, cuckaduck newfag.

>>729700202
greentext?

>>729701098
Drugs tend to do well too, better than porn or sex since porn has a ton of free substitutes. Anyways you're story has been shitty b8 and you're not even good at what you do. Bad troll is bad can I get a wew lad. Later dumbshit

>>729697590
And on the latest edition of things that never happened ...

good story though.

>>729701352
>Cuck
>/MLP/
>Using newfag while acting like a newfag.
Mmhm.

>>729701528
>get btfo
>cant accept you were wrong
>i-i-i-i-m leaving
Escort work is legal in canada, selling drugs is not. Why would i risk going to jail?

I spammed a particular video on b on ylyl (and other variants ) It went from 11 to 1666 views in a few weeks. got 20 + dislikes. Was keking at the reactions of /b/tards

>>729700923
I don't think I can bring myself to "drunk dick" her. But I will definitely snap some pics of her if she starts dancing or if she passes out super hard.

Right after my daughter was born, like five minutes after, I went into the bathroom and jerked off to the crowning phase of the birth. I've never came so hard.

I downloaded it to my computer, rendered it into HD, and sent it to like 50 people on Dropbox. Wish I had more.

>>729701849
Eh you can get away with a finger or two.
Stretch her out for when you expose her to daddy's dick in a year or two.

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>>729702013
>>729701849
Reported to the fbi as potential/future child molestors. Enjoy the v&

>>729688494
Your shine is showing, newfag

>>729697758
>>729697950
3 pieces of actual, honest advice.
1st: Stop feeding the trolls
2nd: Nothing wrong with selling your body. Don't feel guilty about that.
3rd: If you and your gf had an understanding that you were in a monogamous relationship, then you definitely violated that trust. You should come clean. If the relationship's good enough, it'll survive, and if it doesn't, you've learned a lesson for next time. Just letting it fester won't be doing yourself any favors, and it's not fair to her (and there's the chance she won't even take it is a betrayal and will be fine with it).

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>>729698005
Playing pubg with some friends

>>729702170
Artistic works of fiction
>/pol/
>/leddit/
>No how to screenshot.
Newfag go.

I housesat for a family friend a few years back and they had a 14 year old daughter (16 now). Went into her room, she was a slob. Had dirty panties everwhere. Sniffed and licked them. Smelled like heaven. Could smell her ass on some of them. Found a small vibrator in a drawer, smelled like pussy. Sucked that clean. Stuck it in my ass after. Found a dildo. Sucked that clean as well.

She's real emo now but still very cute. Every time I see her I want to just pull her pants down and lick her pussy. Can't though, obviously. (Im 27)

>>729701849
You can also purchase a bottle of viniq or some other bright colored liqueur. Usually about 40 proof and very sweet. Girls enjoy that shit and the sugar hides the alcohol well. The aforementioned stuff is Moscato and vodka and it has glitter in it. It will blow your daughters mind.

Or do what my dad did and give her a straight shot of goldschlager while refusing her a chaser and declaring that he "didn't raise no little bitch." Happened to me when all my neighbors were over at 7 years old, but I'm a boy and it's easier to validate that sort of behavior.

I hit a car in front of me with my work truck today, it 98% wasn't an accident.

>>729687722
this thursday im cheating on my wife with a 40yr old milf whos also married. love her hot wet clean puss

>>729702285
Oh Hell Yes. I like her.

>>729702289
>literally admitting to larpiing
Thx thats all i wanted.

>>729702273
thx for the advice anon. I might tell her when i get drunk one night

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>>729702338
This is it. I'm going to get some on the way home on Friday. She will want to chug it just because of the sparkles.

>>729689070
Yea same, I hate the splatter, especially if I'm wearing shorts

My secret is that I have none. I live my life totally in the light

>>729702714
Wrong quote.

>>729687722
My step started raping me when I was 5.

>>729703223
>My secret is
>I don't have one.

>>729703323
*stepdad

>>729702301
Pics?

>>729702707
lol me too...wish i could find more of her.

I hate being fongered

>>729702840
You're a deviant who cannot be trusted around the vulnerable he should otherwise be biologically and ethically motivated to protect and defend from those who would do harm.

my secret is that I'm still a virgin at 20 if you dont count that thing I had with my uncle

>>729700537
I tear'd up

I rub my cat and it likes it so I keep doing it.

>>729703330
not that guy but i see your point

also bait?>>729703223

>>729695443
You should have raped her anon.

>>729703476
Don't find more. MAKE more!

>>729702285
Not bad...

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>>729703752

>>729704200
wish i could...we are both in our twenties now and live an hour away from each other...pretty much impossible unless i bug her house or something lol

i used to jerk off and jizz on my little sister

>>729702840

If you actually want to have a fun time with her, you could make sangria with her. Get some sweet red wine and brandy, and ask her what kind of fruit she wants to put in it, then go home, put some.music on, and make it together. Make an afternoon out if it.

i have a habit of violently robbing people when im drunk

>>729689070
Same fucking here. It's way comfier and you can piss with the lights off

>>729700476
Dyke friend here.

Don't fall into b8 newfriend. Especially not in dickland.

>>729687722
Once fucked my GF on a school bus back in high school. It was half full of kids...