Can we have a feels thread? I sure as hell could use one now

>>729451314
whats gotcha down kiddo?

>>729451314
The DNA test revealed it wasn't my kid today and I don't know how to feel about that.

>>729451314

I ended my job last friday.
Put down a cat of 14 years this monday.
GF left me this morning, already replaced me.

I feel you buddy. Been a tough week.

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>>729451895
Don't feel anything... be glad you don't share something with a lying whore.

So basically I have been struggling with loneliness, no one seems to notice me, or want to talk to me, mainly because I sperg out when i do.Also I am a incel manlet (5'3')

>>729451314

Bump

>>729452659
I'm trying to think and feel that way, it just hurts.

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>>729451314
I'll never be truly happy because natural selection says I can't have a mate. Also, women are whores.

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I was the one who had it all
I was the master of my fate
I never needed anybody in my life
I learned the truth too late
I'll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes but she's still there
I let her steal into my melancholy heart
It's more than I can bear
Now I know she'll never leave me
Even as she runs away
She will still torment me
Calm me, hurt me
Move me, come what may
Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in
And be with me for evermore
I rage against the trials of love
I curse the fating of the light
Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach
She's never out of sight
Now I know she'll never leave me
Even as she fades from view
She will still inspire me
Be a part of everything I do
Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in
And as the long, long nights begin
I'll think of all that might have been
Waiting here for evermore.

>>729453705
I had pic related until today.
Might have been a lie, but that doesn't mean what I felt wasn't real.
I feel you Anon. It's been my today.

>>729453712
Same feel anon. I was single and happy for two decades, but I've dipped a toe into the pool and now it has me.
But she doesn't.

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>>729454034
>I had pic related until today.
>Might have been a lie, but that doesn't mean what I felt wasn't real.
>I feel you Anon. It's been my today.

Please, do tell.

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I bring hope as a NEET.

So I've been madly in love with this girl since her and I were 14. Through various shit over the years, we could never be together. She's always had feelings for me. Maybe they weren't as strong as mine, but there was something there. I ended up getting pretty chubby and all around out of shape. So she starts talking to me again one day wanting to hang out. I decided to lose as much weight as possible, so I would look decent when I got to see her.
So on Friday, we hang out all day and it was amazing. We held each other all day and I even got to kiss her on a moonlit beach. I told her that I love her and she said it back.

There really is hope, guys. I do and don't believe in that "just be yourself xDD" shit, but just clean yourself up and put yourself out there. It's always darkest before the dawn.

>>729451465
Girl me and my gf were into just dismissed us for a guy she's going out with. She led us to believe she was visiting us in the next weekend, but now called it of for it.

I know it sounds petty as fuck, but it's just the cherry on the top of a sundae of shit. My business is going to shit, I'm between buying my partners share with money god knows where I'll get since I'm broke as fuck, or selling it to him and letting go all I built for the last three years. Every single thing seems falling apart now, my fucking dog doesn't let me have time alone with my gf without barking and howling like someone is torturing him, my internet connection is a piece of shit, and so on...

>>729451895
How invested are you and how old is the kid? If the kid isn't old enough to remember you get the fuck out.

>>729452594
>>729454859
Oh and I forgot to mention my other dog who's 15 today has cancer and we can't treat him, so he has somewhere between 2 to 6 months ahead

I feel you bro, I fucking feel you

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>>729455073

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>>729455126

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>>729455165

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>>729455191

>>729453705
Really want to call you a fag for the pic... But I know that feel /b/ro.
I hate to be cliche, but you'll find one eventually.

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Imagine Johnny Cash reading this to you

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>>729455231

>>729454356

>Be me, have qt3.14 GF
>She's dated a lot of shit before
>Nobody ever treated her right
>Nobody dated her for more than her body
>Let myself love her
>First love, I found solace in isolation before
>Treat her right for nearly a year
>We have everything in that pic everyday.
>Be today
>Wake up
>She wants us to separate
>None of her reasons are completely true
>Tell her we'll talk about it in person.
>Won't see her for two more full days
>Start planning the conversation.
>Can't lose her, I love her and she needs me
>Same day, late afternoon
>She puts the foot down, it's over
>Still not making sense why
>By end of night she has someone new
>Only been into him for a couple days
>New guy was cheated on by mutual friend
>He must be just using her as revenge
>Just fuck her and leave when his ex knows
I'm moving soon, and she was afraid to come with me. I think she's afraid of a relationship lasting forever, and being serious. She's afraid of the pain of losing me later, so she chose to lose me now.
I started that relationship wanting to take her to an altar, and she wanted it too.
Maybe she never wanted us to have that picture forever, and just let us both believe we would have it.

>>729455012

I hope he's had a good run, anon.
My cat was ready and so were we.
I hope you got the most out of eachother,

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>>729455312
>I hate to be cliche, but you'll find one eventually.

I can't and I won't. It's not in my destiny.

>>729451314
feels discord

A real calm discord. We accept all!

No hate, flaming, or trigger words or you'll be banned temporarily

https://discord.gg/v3eVb5R

>>729455165
Sometimes this goes both ways.
That's the worst.

>>729455252

Ouch.

When I went to get my dog put down, they said they'd bring her out so that we could visit with her and say our goodbyes. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to sleep the night before and she passed out when they gave her the preliminary sedative that was supposed to ease the pain of the secondary injection. I got cheated out of my final goodbye.

>>729455522
I hope he did too. Me and my family always did all we could for him. We're taking all we can from our time together and slowly coming to terms with it, but every time my mom calls ny heart sinks.

We've lost another dog last year but it was kinda sudden, so it didn't prepare us for all this mourning with a living one... shit is tough

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>>729455368
I will never get to feel any of that, Anon. But thank you for sharing your story with me.

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The problem with being faster than light is that you can only live in darkness

>>729454308
Yup. My life. I got two texts in the past 4 days, one from my crush partying with my exes, and one of my old crush texting me a screen grab of the class clown being fake gay for me. Ha, ha.

I need sad songs /b/. Sad enough to make me cry. It's the only way I can cry anymore. It's funny, when she died I couldn't stop crying but I wanted to stop. Now that I want to cry, I cant.

>>729455368
Women hurt us the most when they lie to avoid hurting us...

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my wife left me today with the kids. probably will hero soon. it hurts so much i cant even tell.

>>729456234
Don't kill yourself. You're children will never understand and grow to resent you for leaving them

>>729456354
*Your

Sorry, it's late

>>729456354
i would never abandon my children but i think they're better off me like my wife says.

>>729456031

there's always one.

I only ever had her because I wanted her, not because I needed her.
If anything, she needed me.
she was weak and naive and needing a guiding hand.
Find solace with yourself and then you can let yourself love another.
Romance is unnecessary, and one cannot seek peace in another before themselves.
Because you will never spend every night waking up next to them.
Some days you'll sleep on the couch because you were up late and passed out, or you're at your parents for the holiday's and she's at hers.
But you will always wake up with yourself.
And nobody is so broken that they can't fix themselves.

You'll feel it anon.
You will be a person you can accept being, and then you can find someone who can accept you being you as well.

My tears are not for the girl who left me, and not even for the girl I had, but the girl who may never be allowed to be now that she's left.

>>729456354
This, where would your kids go to if you an hero?

>>729456561
She's just being a cunt. Children always ALWAYS need their father. Even if he's not the greatest dad, kids need him

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>>729456614
Why is it then that I'm such a big fuck up? I have social problems in general, but especially when interacting with females. I have felt rejection in some sense, but not fully because I've never put myself out there (unless you count Tinder, which I had for a while, but deleted after not getting one match). I am destined to be alone for as long as I live… and I can't do jack shit about it.

Pic rel is me every night.

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i dont want to die alone

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>>729458185
fuck

The only reason you wake up everyday is because you want to feel dopamine, A chemical one can get addicted too. Are we addicted if that is the case?

Please do not watch this it will make you cry and kill yourself
https://vimeo.com/210862415

>>729454308
>if people wanted to talk to you they'd make an attempt or make it seem like they want to talk to you again

fuck dude

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>>729454308
man this

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>>729451314

Hello, OP. I hope you're doing better. I fucked up three years ago and had to go through some legal shit (house arrest, license suspension, etc...) meanwhile my mother was dying from a stage 4 glioma. She died in 2015 and the pain lingers. I had a girlfriend back in 2014 before the "incident" and during when "more shit went down" and I remember her telling me my life was a mess. She ghosted me as the kids say these days - just simply stopped contacting me one day. I was angry for a while and then gave that up because it was only affecting me and not her. So I've been alone for essentially two years.

People at work make comments regarding my single status in disbelief not because I'm model-quality good looking, but just because I feel people are conditioned to think you should always have a partner. With the shit I was going through, and now coming out of, I just felt it was a disservice to drag someone else through that. Why make two people unhappy when you can sort of quarantine the pain, you know? It was humiliating as well.

Now I just feel awkward and unsure about any relationships in the future. I'm planning on buying a house in a year and I'm a year away from 30. I feel like your 20's should be an amazing time but mine was mainly spent enduring court sanctions because I'm an idiot. I have trouble believing someone else can forgive my past because I have trouble forgiving myself. I don't know. Things are simpler though with just me, but I miss being excited when notifications for texts pop up on your phone or the thrill of getting to know someone. I just wish I didn't hate myself so much.

>>729457291

Everybody has flaws.
Nobody is a social wizard.
I know a guy who used to have Justin Beiber hair and the only things he ever said were Jeff Dunham jokes.
Absolutely no social skills then.
He got better, but he's still not the best.
Absolute stand-up guy.

Women aren't as different from us as we let ourselves think.
This is 4chan, afterall.
Let yourself know that they're just people, same as us.
Femanons lurk in these threads feeling exactly the same as us.
I like to think that if you hunt for a relationship it won't work. It would be forced, ingenuine. Two people who aren't happy with themselves looking for other people (who aren't happy with themselves either) to find solace in.

All you need to do is talk to people. If you do anything at all that involves being around people, eventually you'll meet friends.
One of those friends will click.
It'll work.

you'll be fine.
It's like /fit/ says.
We're all going to make it.

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I love you all.

It's okay to cry unmanly tears, just for tonight

>>729451314
>>/r9k/

>>729460134
no topic here faggot

>>729459845

Everyone is like this, anon.
Not everyone knows.
Cruel people escape their pain by giving other people more, but as a humanity the only thing we all ever want is just to live happily.
Shoulder to shoulder, man can take anything.
Everyone in the world is here for you.
Don't let yourself believe otherwise.

>>729454859
your dog could feel that succubus presence, move along man

>>729457578
Everyone dies alone. Even if you have loved ones beside you on your death bed, it will still be as if you're drifting along the waves further and further into the ocean, while the ones you love wave their goodbyes from the beach.

>>729460623

Life is a solo game. That much is undeniable.
But there's no harm playing in good company, and one can't be blamed for holding onto hope that there's something that comes next where all are still together.

>>729455314
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FywSzjRq0e4

>>729460781
I agree. I just think there's no use in punishing yourself for not having people who you love and who love you back in your life. Everyone is miserable deep down. Everyone dies and everyone dies alone. I manage to find a blink of hope from that because if everyone's bliss is meaningless, then my sorrow is as well.

>>729461053

The existential dread has been rough lately.
I used to find that bliss in it but it's always harder to see.
The void is looking back and I haven't quite been able to really tell it to fuck off yet.

Hold onto that glimmer, anon.
We are not defined by our flaws.
Take what's good while it's here and know that when life throws something at you, it's not as important as it wants you to think, and life isn't trying hard enough.

>>729461274
I'm just a cringy young adult. I was crushed by my first love. Been years, still haven't been able to get over it. I hate life and everything in it. Trying to get a vasectomy because I don't want to cause this pain for anyone but it's illegal here if you're under 30. Feels bad man.

She's sexting a guy right now. All I want is to be that guy desperately. I can't even bring myself to tell her I've been in love with her for 6 months because I know it means we're probably going to go our separate ways and I can't really imagine life without her.

I was fine before I met her, I didn't care if I was alone at night and I wasn't fapping 2-3 times a day to try and get some relief of some kind. Why did I even have to meet her? I wish I could just forget about her completely and I wish I wasn't so fucking lazy that I can't even get off my ass and lose weight to attract someone else to maybe get over her... maybe she would've wanted to be with me as well if I wasn't.

I have no one I can talk to about this except you guys, everyone else is a mutual friend of hers and I don't trust them. Honestly i'm so pathetic I think about killing myself every day because of this and it's a comfort to me now that all this could go away in an instant. Fuck this man.

>>729461921
Losing weight is surprisingly easy dude. But I'm telling you, life isn't that great when you're in shape either. I'm a male model, have an athletic physique but I'm still lonely and miserable.

>>729461751

I'm barely legal to post here.
I've just lost my first love, and it isn't even going to be good for either of us. Just mistakes that will hurt her and me having the privilege of watching her go to do it.
Cringy young adult is the best time for it.
We're young, we're inexperienced, we don't entirely get it, and haven't had the time to meditate over it once we've pulled through.

You'll make it anon.

I've actually been very happy recently and its so foreign to me that it feels wrong

>>729462441
Very Freudian.

>>729462296
Yes, I think so too. Though it gives me no relief to know this. Everyone I know think I'm a toxic person. Even my mother and friends have said it. I make everyone uncomfortable by gazing into the abyss.

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>>729461751

I know the feeling. Different anon than who you were originally talking to by the way. I didn't have sex and my first girlfriend until I was 19. She was amazing but ended up cheating on me with some dude that worked at my dad's restaurant. I should have seen disaster coming when we met at a stabilization/medication-establishment program in the behavioral health section of the hospital. It wasn't like commitment - we just came from 9am-3pm and did exercises and established medicine protocols. She had somewhat of an eating disorder/anxiety and I had bipolar disorder. She was short, thin (not sickly looking though), and hypnotic blue eyes.

I remember our first phone call - it lasted over 90 minutes. I remember our first kiss, the first time we had sex, introducing her to my parents, etc... Anyway that was years ago and I moved away from my hometown to get away from her and other things. But just last week I had a series of dreams about her. I guess I haven't met anyone that has moved me enough to blind me from her memories.

>>729462700

Remember that abyss stares back.
The and the deeper the abyss stares back, the deeper you stare back into it.
Just lean in a little bit closer and tell it to fuck off.
Tell it to fuck right off, because you're better than anything it wants you to feel.

You may be a toxic person now, but you can change.

find the glimmer that >>729461053 sees. Hold onto it and stand up.
Even if you fall, stand up.


Failure is not and has never been one unsuccessful attempt at something, anon.
Failure is only attempting once.

>>729463045

Anon who lost his girl today here.
I've just wanted to get out that I went down on her three goddamn times on our first official date and she came at least 20 times that night, but even after 2 1/2 of actual sex I still never got off once.

My autism made me never give myself any orgasms either, because for some dumb reason I felt like it was best to make my first orgasm of 2017 be from her, and now that she's gone fapping is going to be so fucking awkward.

Sorry for the non feels rant, I just wanted to let that out,

>>729463073
I appreciate the nice words, I really do, but it's no use. I can't be like that. I never comment on here, and probably will never again. I'm just gonna go back to lurking, since there's no use in repeating the same mantra's and expecting different results.

Since this might be my last comment, I recommend everyone to read David Benatar's book "Better never to have have been -- the harm of coming into existence". It shed me some light on the sheer injustice of my own birth. And maybe if we all read it, share it, less people will be brought about. That is all.

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>Been a NEET since I was around 15, I'm turning 25 in less than 24 hours
>Always struggled with really bad social phobias
>I would struggle to have even the most basic of interaction with people. Even simple things like ordering a restaurant would send me into a panic
>spent the last ten years basically by myself, I've been fairly okay with that
>Meet this girl online about a year ago, she also struggles with all sorts of mental shit
>We get along really well, talk to each other for ten hours a day for months.
>I fall in love with her, we start a long distance relationship
>several months later she's going through really bad depression and wants to kill herself
>and I'm two states away with $250 in my name and no way to go to her
>I'm forced to sit back and know she's in a deep amount of pain
>We don't talk a lot anymore because she's always really depressed
>Struggle daily with the idea that I'm completely inadequate for her, and that she actually doesn't want me around anymore
It feels so bad. ;-;

>>729463688

You're not done until you give up, anon.

Why do people even chase relationships? They're just mentally deteriorating in the long run.

>>729465375
Why do people try to live?
It's mentally deteriorating in the long run.

>>729465492
You can kill yourself?

>>729465599
Even those at the bottom of their depression still seek to live. On that hope that one day it will get better.
People will chase something they think will bring them joy until it eventually kills them or leads them to a pit of despair.

>>729459531
It's up to you if you want to talk about it, but what exactly did you do that caused all that to happen?

It's getting bad again /b/rothers. It always happens in cycles. I get sadder and sadder until one day I say fuck it and attempt suicide. When it first started it wasn't bad. Just some small cuts that didn't do much. Then some pills that just damaged my liver. Then a noose that wasn't quite right. After the attempts, things get better for awhile. I'm never happy, but life is more tolerable. Eventually, things start going downhill again and the cycle repeats. The last time was almost two years ago. Some pills that got me five minutes away from death. With the cycle continuing, I know this time is for real. I'm not coming back out when I walk into that house.

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>>729457291
Women won't know you're too nervous to talk to them if you don't talk to anybody at all

>>729465791
It never gets better, anon.

>>729466006
It does momentarily, then always leads back to despair.
True happiness only lasts long enough for you to miss it once it's gone.

>>729466183
>It gets better then it doesn't
Thanks for proving my point.
Also there is no "true happiness"

>>729466484
This is one of the most accurate feels pictures I've seen. I almost want to print it out and hang it up.

>>729466414
>Since after it got better, it then returned to not being good it was never good in the first place
wat?

Bad > good > bad, good still exists. while it may be brief it's still there.

>There is no true happiness
I've felt it myself, it does exist. It's why people chase things.

man i wish i was brave enough to kill myself but i cannot leave my mother alone like that...i feel im in a prison until she dies

>>729455494
>Train your brain to get happy
Kek

>be me
>good looking
>6 figure salary
>still a virgin because no girl can take my 11inch cock

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>>729467160

>>729466727
Those are just chemicals in your brain. It isn't real.

>>729455204
:(

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i took laced acid two days ago with a few friends, it was the scariest thing, i pissed myself and almost choked on my vomit. one of my friends ended up naked. i dont remember anything, i thought i died. My mom found out and i just feel so guilty and horrible, i basically od'd on whatever i took and i made her really stressed. Im sorry mom

>>729467298
Your monitor isn't real, it's just particles stuck together.
By that logic nothing is real.

>>729451314

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>>729455126
fuck, that one always gets me

>>729455912
I am so sorry

>>729467160
>be me
>good looking
>had 2 bedroom apartment and 3 story villa with big yard 10min walk from the sea near very popular tourist resort
>still a virgin because shy as fuck and low self esteem for no reason

>>729451895
Dump that bitch

>>729467496
Nothing is real, anon. None of this really matters anyways.

>>729467824
whether it matters, and if it's real are two separate things.
Everything will eventually end, and nothing will be around anymore, so nothing really matters in the end. But right now isn't the end.
I assure you things are real though.

>>729467298
I fucking hate that "it's just science and chemicals" bullshit that people like you spew out. I don't care if my depression is just a chemical unbalance and therefore depression isn't real. None of that matters. Everyday I feel the weight of my past weigh me down as I try to get over it just to get out of bed. My failures, guilt, anxiety, and self esteem issues keep me up at night. My addiction to cigarettes has me craving one every 4 hours. The narcissistic abuse I've received over the years shows no physical signs, but I feel it all. Call it chemicals in the brain or whatever you want, but it's all very real.

>>729460025

Lived through and saw so much in life, only to have it taken away so suddenly by one of his own.

Rest In Peace
Robert Goodwin Sr.

>>729456561
Your wife is a cunt. She lost you, and I know that hurts. But you will move on from that eventually. But you can't let your kids lose you too. Fight for them, be there for them. Let them know you'll always be there.

Anybody got that one where the guy talks to his kid self? Really gets to me.

>>729456234
Don't, your dog will never know why you left.

>>729451314
Yeah I got disowned

>>729468062
Real or not, life sucks.
>>729468103
All of that sounds like a you problem.

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I've reached a point now where I can't even seem to fix my sleeping schedule with two weeks notice.
I just can't get to sleep at night anymore, because I don't want to sleep at the night.
I say that, but I really just don't want to be awake in the day. I don't want to deal with people anymore. I don't want to hear them anymore. I just want to be in peace, in the dark, alone.

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I just need to let this out...Just deleted my Instagram. I'm so sick of seeing everyone happier than I am. Even if they are faking it I wish I could at LEAST pretend to be fucking happy. Deleted my account in the attempt to remove the bullshit that people are showing...fuck em all. On another note. I can't stand to see you with your husband. I'm happy for you but everything you post eats away at my soul. It was a mistake following back and I hope you get everything you ever wanted.

>>729468864
>All of that sounds like a you problem.
I'm not quite sure I understand

>>729469142
i had to do the same..

>>729468864
Random question, Anon. What's your name?

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>>729468103

You have summed up my personal feeling quite well, anon.

>Bipolar sufferer
>Average looking 25yr old
>Slim but lean with some muscle
>People think I am active but smoke and play vidya when not working
>Shave head and grew beard because bald spot, accepting it
>Fucked quite a few women, one long relationship that ended horribly
>Made several suicide attempts around that time
>Still think about it despite life improving somewhat
>Every time some part of life gets better my messed up brain pulls me back down those emotional stairs

I am my own worst enemy. I am positive I could have another relationship or achieve something greater in my life but instead I am mentally defeated before I get going.

The guy I love will never love me back.

I met him at school almost 2 years ago, and I fell in love by the second week. I knew he was straight, but that didn't stop anything. I came out to him in December 2015, before anyone else. We were still friends, but we drifted a little.

I'd see him at parties, drinking and smoking. I started smoking with him, but he would still try his best to ignore me. Eventually, I got drunk on New Year's and told him everything.

We still talk from time to time, but it hurts me looking at him flirt with a new girl everyday, knowing he'll never talk to me like that. It fucking kills me, to the point of crying at home every week, knowing he's with someone else.

Worst part of it all, he's stopped smoking since January. So now I'm stuck with not only a broken heart that he shreds everyday, but an addiction that's killing me slowly.

The first song I heard on one of these threads, btw. Favorite artist to this day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kc-KKjZZCI

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>>729451314

>>729469640
With the way my family has treated me, I'm too afraid to attempt suicide. I always think I'd fail and if my family found out about it, then the little control I have in my life would disappear.

>>729469421
Why would I tell you my name?

>>729470173
>being gay
>loving a straight guy
I know that feel, anon

>>729470310
Why not? It's not like I would even know if it were your real name.
I was just curious

>>729470181
Life expectancy of the green sea turtle is 80 to 100+ years. The octopus was just a 5 year blip on his long sad life.

>>729455368

Men of /b/ please please listen to me here.

If you meet a woman and all her exes have treated her badly its because THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTS. Do not listen to her sob stories, she WANTS AN ASSHOLE THAT MANHANDLES HER.

Don't make the mistake most men make in this situation. You don't need to beat her or anything but you need to dominate her kinda put her down sometimes, like a bad employee.

And if you do that she will stay.

Yes it's fucking crazy. But it's the truth.

>>729470173
lol faggot

>>729469142
>>729469239


fucking emo, there's plenty of people out there, i've been single by choice for 6 years now and i've been mostly happy, minus the cheap shots from family, etc. seeing a former lover or crush with their significant other shouldn't keep making you sad. i get the initial shock, but fuck man, have some empathy and maybe you'll move on with your life as well.

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>>729471142
...You're absolutely right. I'm just bitching.

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>>729470186
My family never found out I was/am that bad. I would also be chastised if I tried again and fucked up again. I would no longer be here if I had not decided in my past that I did not want them to feel the way I do, as a result of my suicide.

>>729471662
I have to go to bed, otherwise I'd talk to you more anon. Sorry. Have a good night

>>729454308
Everyone but me gotta learn

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This is pretty minor compared to probably everyone else in this thread. And I will probably sound like a big bitch, but my girlfriend left today to go visit her family in her hometown. She is only gonna be gone for a month, but it still kinda has me down.

>she will never be mine
>she's just the right height, body, and personality
>I will never get to hold her and feel safe in her arms
>we will never grow old and get cats with tiny plants I know she loves
>we will never get ice cream and sit together under the hot sun
>he will never look me in the eyes and confess how much she loves me
>we will never have OUR first kiss
>we will never have those nights that we just say fuck it and get stoned out of our minds
>we will never go to the local fair and eat until we get sick
>we will never get to just quietly enjoy each others presence and love every moment
>I will never feel like I'm the luckiest person in the room for having her by my side
>I would stop being a huge faggot and ask her out
>always get rejected so I know it will be the same

I love her too much /b/, but I know it will never happen.

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>>729472774
yeah, you do sound like a bitch

>>729473127
Tbh everyone in every feels thread ever sounds like a bitch

>>729459005
it works both ways. i have a friend who i have a stalemate with. it'll go on for months before one of us messages the other. neither one of us likes to initiate contact

>>729451314
>>>
> Anonymous 04/17/17(Mon)03:04:54 No.729469853▶
>File: how to live.jpg (583 KB, 1000x1494)
>>>
> Anonymous 04/17/17(Mon)03:06:56 No.729470059▶
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>>729451314

I'll give you a worse scenario:

What if it was your kid and she was fucking around on you with it inside her.

Some dude would have been nutting on your kid instead of vice-versa.

Don't feel bad anon.

I know its hard to accept that as a piece of advice right now but you will, in time, need to absorb some form of this thinking.

Moving on after an emotionally violent, disruptive and taxing experience is pretty much what you're in for unless you want to spend the better part of your life dwelling on someone who might be in store for a pretty nasty karma kick-back down the road.

A good friend of mine. My best friend. He once told me that the best revenge is living a good life. I couldn't accept that he was right at the time when it came to a cheating bitch.

While he had once gotten some pretty good licks in on his cheating girlfriend (fucked her bestfriend) he also did a very good job of moving on and bettering himself at the same time.

I would suggest a similar tactic but leave the revenge part out for the most part unless you're willing to experience blowback. Its not your kid. You don't have to worry about another human being. You can go meet another woman, court her and down the line - start a family with her.

Good luck, my friend. Good luck.

>>729469142
today is the first day you'll have your soul back. cherish it this time.

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>>729456170
We rarely get what we want.
Been a while since I've had a real honest cry myself.
Seems like either laboring through life or wishing I was dead.
I feel like if I could just cry, I could reboot and start fresh.

>>729455252
That hurts so unbelievably bad, I burst into tears, and I don't even understand how that hit me so hard.

>>729456170
There are at least ten songs that if I even hear on the radio, or think to much about, I will instantly cry. They aren't even sad songs, it's just the sadness I had when I once listened to them, and how that sadness parallels to how I feel now.

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>tfw you just can't get her off your mind

You know I don't visit these threads or /b/ too much anymore, mostly im on Reddit nowadays. Im a lot happier, not surrounding myself in these negative threads. Used to come here to talk to people if they needed someone. I hope you guys get through whatever you're going through. I hope you all become happy. (Also not saying Reddit made me happy, life happened and reconnecting with an old friend made me happy)

Why can't I feel anything?
Nothing I do has any meaning or purpose, I have no desire to do anything. Nothing hurts, either. That's the worst part.

Something is horribly wrong with me but I don't feel it. I wake up, go to work, come home, sleep.
I don't even have the motivation to drink anymore. I used to go through a bottle of rum a day but now I don't even care for that.

I'm at the point where burning it all down seems like a good idea purely because it'll make me feel something. Probably.

what can people who think they've lost it all lose apart from their sadness?

>>729479684
Losing it all is easier if you look at it as a starting point. If you have nothing, it is also a clean slate to completely refresh and start again. Move somewhere else, meet new people, leave the old life behind. You have nothing left to keep you where you're at.

You also have nothing to fear if you've already lost it all. You can take this new life by the horns and do your best.

i'm losing my best friend and as much as i try to blame it on them i know that it's entirely my fault for being a horrible person. i haven't gone a night this week without thinking about killing myself. she's my best friend and honestly i've never felt so close to anyone before. i don't know why this is affecting me so much because friends come and go. how do i get her back /b/ros?

(thank you for this opportunity to get it all out by the way)

>>729480491
I know that feel bro, 9 months and still haven't spoken to her. Do you have any mutual friends who can ask her for her opinion of u etc see how you stand with her and then just talk a lil, if they show disrespect or contempt then just say fuck you and walk off

>>729481176
that's the thing man, like it's a long story but she's pretty much my one and only friend. like we basically lived together. and as soon a second i moved away, (not that far. i still come down regularly to see her) it feels like everything changed? like it doesn't feel the same as it used to? and every time i think about her it kills me because i've never had anyone like that in my life before.

>my reason to live barely acknowledges my existence

>>729454308
This so fucking much. Met a girl on a game and had long distance relationship for like two years but school happened and we just drifted with no real end marked. She stopped responding one day. She was so much like me, even the inability to properly socialize. I haven't talked to her in 8 months and i logged on same game as her to see if she would message. She didn't so i guess I need to not think about her ever even though she showed me my favorite band i listen to daily

>>729455368
Same shit. And people always say it's better to have loved and lost. Fucking when js it better its almost been a year

>>729454752
Just don't jump in front of a fucking train. Some of us actually enjoy life and want to get home on time for lunch with the wife and kids.

>>729455314

<3

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>>729455252
Rest in peace, Cashew. I will always love you.

Bump. Get well soon, OP. Ya faggot.

How does one make friends in college if you live at home? I have the financial backing of my parents and a new-ish 4 door vehicle. I like road trips, pretty much every genre of music, alcohol and green friendly how do I use that to make friends

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I've entirely given up on trying to accomplish anything with my life.

I can't get the motivation or will power to stop eating garbage.

I can't get the motivation to find a job.

I can't get the motivation to try in my trade school class.

I can't get the motivation to live.

Every day I get on my computer and play video games for the entirety of it.

I feel like such a sack of shit from all the opportunities I've been given by my parents and squandered.

I don't want to live anymore, but I don't want to kill myself.

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>>729485681
Cont

I'm an alcoholic but keep denying it.

The only thing I look forward to during the week is to able to blackout on Friday when I don't have my class.

I tell myself 'just one, I won't blackout' but then I finish it and stagger to the store down the street for more.

I tell myself 'I'm not an alcoholic, it's just one day' but I need it, or at least feel like I do.

Any chance I have on the weekend I'll also take to blackout, blacked out again earlier in the day since no one was home.

I won't stop.

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>>729485937
Cont.
I'm going to die in a few decades, why try?

I know I've been told many times.

>quit bitching everyone feels that way
>that's the point, we try because life is pointless

I just can't try when I know nothing will ever matter.

I'm so incomprehensibley small in the universe, whether I live or die it doesn't care.

Why should I?

I'll just keep eating garbage, laying in bed like a sack of shit, and spending countless hours on my computer as my life whittles away.

It won't matter either way.

>>729470173
fucking faggot

>>729473013
youre a shit cunt

>>729455204
fuck this is so sad

>>729451895
Nooooo

>>729483522
This.
I have no respect for these people jumping in front of trains. It's like they go out of their way to inconvenience everyone just to receive that tiny last bit of attention after their death. It's fucking selfish.

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>>729465996
That's why I avoid talking to most people in public.

>>729458185
I also don't want them to know how many people I've fucked. Sometimes I feel like my friends don't know me at all

>>729470181
Well fuck that made me cry

Currently have something with this woman. She's amazing. We have so much in common, we love each other very much, and the sex? 10/10. We're not into labels though. Well maybe that's because of the fact that she already has a boyfriend and a son with him. She's also pregnant with their second. We sometimes wonder why it was too late for us to meet and that if she never had a child with him, maybe she'll be able to break up with him. We're still together but there's this fact looming over us that it's going to end. Soon. They're going to get married in a few years. We know what we're doing is wrong but love is a very strong glue anons. I just laugh at myself sometimes. I finally found love. And it's the wrong kind.

I just got trips but nobody acknowledged them...

>>729488041
it's good you found love, but cheating is a terrible thing to do

bad anon ;__;

>>729488221
Good luck with the mourning process anon, it gets better.

>>729488221
nice almost trips, bud

>>729488315
I cri everytiem

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https://youtu.be/BJhBWkETQ6s

>>729482188
Jesus dude that just fucked me up.

>be me, turned 18 two days ago.
>lost in life, fucked up my school days by repeating 2 years
>slowly becoming an outcast.
>spends 12 hours a day on my computer.
>want to die, just to know if somebody would miss me.

I just want to have control over my life. i feel fucking pathetic and powerless.

>>729490505
>turned 18 two days ago
>just want to have control over my life
MY SIDES

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>>729451314

I started to talk to my ex again. He's got a new gf but he's caring and likes to call me in the middle of the night to talk about feelings and stuff. Dunno why. He left me few months ago and now he's apologising all the time for what happened in the August last year. I know I shouldn't cate but I'm starting to miss him
I'm done with all this

>>729490982
You'll miss him, that's what emotions do. But you need to move on. Delete and block him from everything. You don't need that curiosity coming back and biting you in the ass later on when everything feels like its getting back on track. Trust me.

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>>729451314
Nor my mother nor my sisters ever ask how I am... my father and my stepmother are in the next room having a laugh and don't share some of that happiness with me..... I fell alone /b/... I thought the worst thing was being alone, but now I see the worst thing is to feel surrounded by people who make you feel alone.

>>729491845
fucking gay

>>729451895
be mad at the woman but keep your connection with the kid, imo. unless its an infant that wont remember anything.

dna doesnt change anything. family is what you make of it.

>>729491650
Thanks anon
I'll try to stop and block him. Thank you for your time

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>>729467160

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Been wanting to put this public for a long, long time just to get some help. Fuck it, feels thread it is. Maybe some of you guys in the same situation might not feel so alone

--

Before i begin, this is a massive leap of faith for me. This could seriously ruin my life, put me on the sexual offender list and potentially lose me my job. But it’s either this, or suicide. Maybe by doing this it will lead me to suicide as a fallout of somebody reporting me - There’s certainly enough information here to do so. I implore you to read everything, in an effort to understand.

I am a Paedophile.

There, I said it. I am not a sexual abuser, I have never done anything or tried to do anything with a prebuescent child and I have never, ever looked at child porn/pictures. But I am sexually attracted to very young girls. And I hate everything about it.

Quick history lesson; I’ve known since I was about 14, and i’ve tried my best to suppress it and not think about it. It worked out quite well when I had girlfriends from the age of 18-20, I was sexually active and had females to keep my mind off of it. And it worked. Then I screwed everything with my ex 6 years ago and have had nobody since. No partner, and certainly no sex for that duration, and not by choice. That is surely enough to do a number on somebody's mental state, their self-esteem would drop through the floor with 6 years of rejection. But throw in the paedophilia? It’s made my life a living hell.

I’ve attempted suicide 3 times in the last 12 months. I’ve not succeeded because im not ready to give up it seems. But every attempt gets me closer to that goal. I don’t see future for me, I know that i’m probably going to die by suicide because i’d rather kill myself than let myself lose control and harm a child. The past makes me miserable, as i think of all the times I messed up and the last 6 years of hell. The present makes me feel nothing, the future terrifies me.

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>>729493695
Cont.

I overeat massively, because I look at myself and see nothing but a monster. It’s a coping mechanism for the loneliness sure, but it’s also self-punishment. I deserve to be disgusting, unattractive to women and hideous because not only did I ruin things with the one girl who saw me for who I was, but because in essence I am a monster - And thus, I make myself look monstrous. I smoke heavily, again because im addicted to it, but also a part of me hopes to get lung cancer and at least then I won’t be a danger to children.

To explain a little more of what happens, I see a young girl (Lowest i’ve ever found attractive was about 5 years old, horrific.) And my subconscious will start fantasising sexually, in the same way you’d look at an adult you find attractive and think the same. I’ll then realise what i’m doing and immediately force my mind onto something else - Though the mental self-esteem ramifications just get worse and worse each time I do it. I hate it yet my illness loves it at the same time. And for clarification, paedophilia is now recognised as an actual mental illness. It’s got to be when you think about it, this way of thinking is certainly not “normal” (No matter what some people on certain forums think, there is a general consensus among some of these “Darker forums” that it’s a sexual orientation - I can’t agree with that.)

>>729456835
That's not true, my life would have been infinitely better had I not known my father. Honestly the same holds true for my mother. I honestly do wish I'd have been aborted. This have been an incredibly rough life and I'm just done trying

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>>729493759
Cont.

Because of this situation, i’ve now become an excellent liar. I’ve created a persona around myself that draws any attention I can away from the truth of what I am. I tell people i’m bisexual, and i’ve actually had sex with men to prove it - I’m absolutely not. I tell people I can’t smell, a talking point to draw any potential attention away - I can smell everything. I have a black book of lies that I keep so my lies don’t cross over (And for the record, this is all genuine truth. No black books here.) and over the years lying has become so second nature to me it’s now a social self-defense mechanism.

I’m genuinely trying to get happier. I’ve told a few people in real life, mainly because I was going out of my mind near insanity, but also because I just needed to be able to tell somebody I loved, and not have them want to kill me for it. To see me as a human. It’s helped somewhat, but I can feel myself slipping back already. I’ve been trying to lose weight, maybe get myself in a better situation with my body and learn to love myself (As impossible as it seems right now) but it’s one hell of a struggle. They say that only you can help yourself, but what if you don’t feel you deserve to be happy? That you’re a monster that deserves death?

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>>729493826
Final part

I desperately want to go to a therapist/psychiatrist (Im willing to pay my own money) to get help, but because of the mandatory reporting laws in the UK, if they suspect that I could be a danger to a child they have to report me. Thats me putting a LOT of trust in that person whom’s interest could be self-preservation and report me anyway, even if i’ve done nothing wrong. I suppose that's why i'm posting this here. If this goes well, and I don’t end up on the sexual offenders list - Then that will probably give me the courage to seek help (It’s a much larger leap of faith posting it here I think.)

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. I know you probably can’t help, and i’m not asking for advice. I just need to be recognised as a human - And not the monster I convince myself daily that I am.

Thank you.

>>729453456
>No one seems to notice me
Even in this thread

>>729458648
Oh man, that is great news

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>>729464536
Happy birthday anyway friend

>>729493867
If you have never committed an offence, the police can do nothing about it.
You can get counselling, you could even tell the police to clarify with them,and they may lead you in the right direction to sort yourself out. There are organisations out there that will help you, it's up to you to go the right way about it and not get arrested and/or killed in the process.
Even if you don't get counselling, try taking something up to improve yourself and ignore it for a while (e.g. losing weight or quitting smoking will make you happier, trust me)
Cannot relate to your story in any way but trying to help out a guy in need.

>>729464536
I'm in the exact same position anon

Not a pleasant feeling at all

>>729479660
You'll feel satisfied for a bit, then it'll dull like everything else. Do you remember the moment your emotions shut off. I do. It was both painful and completely necessary at the same time. The problem now is learning how to turn it back on.

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I will never fall in love like I did with my ex. Looks don't mean as that much to me. Over a short period we became really close, we could understand each other perfectly. We got drunk together, ate pizza, listened to our favorite music and cuddled all the time. Although I got in touch with her after 4 months of silence and she told me that it was quite possible that she might fall in love with me again but I had to move out and I'm now a 2 hour flight away from her.

>>729455314
this is so fucking bad. The rhythm, the rhymes, the predictable ending, everything suck

Im having a great day, everythings going pretty damn good
>girlfriend
>Undergrad degree
>about to get Masters degree
>Side chick
>my dog mauled an intruder half to death and there were seemingly no repercussions
>My dad is probably gunna get back from buying cigarettes soon.

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>For the socially retarded.

The only advisable course of action that minimises the distress caused by being socially isolated/retarded is to get a menial job that isn't too taxing, then start a collecting hobby that will occupy a decent amount of time. I myself have started a gaming collection of a certain system of which I am edging closer and closer to completion but probably never will, in the same way Achilles will never beat the tortoise. It's an ultimately fruitless endeavour even if you do complete it but it's really for speeding up the passage of time and to avoid thinking about your current situation. Also when you go about collecting occasionally you'll run into normies, usually fucking hipsters, who for some reason are impressed by your dedication and/or collection. Savour that crumb of acceptance but DON'T get addicted to it. Acknowledge their interest but don't give them much satisfaction.

If all goes well, you'll die a busy man. Not happy mind you, just someone who was too busy to acknowledge his depression.

A tip I learnt from Dr Steve Brule:
>Go to bed early you doofus. Cos when you're sleeping there's no lonely times, just dreams.

I guarantee no one here will give better advice than this.


THERE IS NO HELP HERE.

>>729457291
Meh tinder is not that good. I hooked up and banged a few females using that and skout. One of them was into anal too... But in the end, sex is just sex, those girls on there are not the kind you want to use to build relationships with. I haven't found a place to find good girls yet, but just banging them after getting them from a bar or online is not all that good.

>gf broke up with me early last month
>gave excuse that she feels like she shouldn't be dating right now and should focus on school, work, and her son
>go into a spiral of anger and depression
>slowly between then and last week it seemed like we might be getting back together
>make plans to hang out yesterday
>she consistently ignores most of my texts/snapchats to her
>find out saturday night while snapchatting her she doesn't want to hang out
>argue a little bit saturday night
>asked her why she even dated me if she didn't want to be in a relationship
>she said IDK, I tried
>yesterday when full asshole on her
>told her she is just like her ex who treated her like shit and fucked her up emotionally cause she is doing the same thing to me
>didn't talk to her for a few hours
>felt bad and tried to apologize and she said no we're done

On one hand I still care a lot about her and want her back, but at the same time I'm glad it's over. I'm finally realizing there was no future with her. I just feel bad about going full asshole on her. I don't want us to be enemies. I know she will never see this but Nicole M. I really am sorry about how I acted yesterday. I hope we can still be friends one day.

>>729499528
Went full asshole*

>>729479226
Time will take care of it anon.

>>729462199
Pic pls

>>729454577
what does she look like?

>>729467160
>be me
>average looking
>149 iq
>still a virgin because i decline every social event to learn

no regrets

>>729454664
Jesus

>>729482188
My reason to live just ignores me

>>729451314

This thread is still alive?

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>>729455252
I miss my doggo
Pic related

>>729502812

That's a good picture, anon.
Looks like he had his run with you and it was great.
Gotta let him go, anon.
You'll see him again later.

>>729491862
This shits is fake as fuck, why on earth she would call him to tell him is his daughter and later ask him to stay away, if she want him away she could just not call him and go on with her life. Now the anon can ask a paternity test and have shared custody, dumb cunt

>>729502812
awesome dog i would miss him too

i promise you he's fucking all the bitches and eating all the bacon strips and loving life rn

>>729502496


Does everyone get this dread about their lives?
Does everybody wake up trying to find a purpose and getting lost in the abyss?

Or does it just look that way because us existential folk congregate in threads in like these and it's all we let ourselves see?

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>>729451314
I saw my grandmother walking alone from a Chinese buffet. I turned right instead of talking to her. Weird anxiety bullshit that I fucking hate myself for. She died not too long ago. Now I have a kid and I would trade anything for her to meet him. Fuck I can't forgive myself.

>>729453456
try to become comfortable with being alone, THEN go try and fine people, that way you can't lose

>>729503123
>>729503350
Thanks anons :)

>>729456043
That's poetic but untrue, if you travel led at lights peed towards, say, the Moon it's light would reach you but it would turn into a blue blur because of the Doppler Effect. Just a neat fact if you're interested, didn't want to be rude

>>729504596
Blue towards you, red away, isn't it?

>>729456170
Heres some Simon and Garfunkel

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6JUbFj0BIc4

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JKlSVNxLB-A

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3YTgwY1Ld5s

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J4XCnYIcRgc

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nntOYUODSV0

>Lost my great desk job three weeks ago because some special snowflake got offended at something. They didn't even ask me what I said or what the situation was.

>My best chick friend, with whom my GF and I are in a polyamorous relationship, is becoming more interested in an ugly middle-aged woman who works at the same McDonald's as her.

>I have to rely on handouts from my mother (who I'm convinced can't stand me) so I don't have my car repossessed.

>I've been talking to my ex (I've basically become her only friend) and I still haven't told my GF.

>>729464536
happy birthday

>>729470744
We know it's the truth but we still hold out hope because we are incapable of learning from this

>>729464536
happy birthday man

>>729464536
>>729495997
I once hitchhiked / trained / walked to my gf
Much more is possible than you first perceive

>>729505801
Hope this is me someday

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>>729453705
you just took me on a feeld trip

>>729504698
Yeah, that's how we know how fast the universe is expanding because light stretches or compresses

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>be me, 18, britbong
>bullied through primary school (age 5 to 11)
>bullied through first few years of high school (age 12 to 14 ish)
>stick up for myself, bullying ends
>age 15, develop depression
>maybe inherited, chemicals, situational or just bad luck
>try couselling, therapy, antidepressants x3
>age 18, try hypnotherapy
>hypnotherapist is cool guy, about 30 y/o, jokes and makes me feel comfortable, like talking to a friend
>third session, sat in the room with the guy
>he takes me back to the worst beating i've ever taken
>I'm seven years old, pinned against a wall by this huge guy
>remember it much clearer than ever, must have come from my subconscious
>I'm stood watching myself getting beaten up
>getting pretty sad in the hypnotherapy room
>little me runs into the toilet crying, I follow
>hypnotherapist tells me to talk to him
>I'm confused, it's just a memory, but as the little me sees the current me it's like a dream
>I tell him it's gonna be okay
>bawling my eyes out in the hypnotherapy room, simultaneously laughing "what the fuck is going on" at the hypnotherapist
>I tell little me it gets better
>now I do it all for little me

pic related, it's me at my year 6 leaving party

This is the worst, it made me cry and become addicted to anti depressants
https://vimeo.com/210862415

>be me
>dating girl for a few months
>fall in love with her
>we talk to each other 24/7
>one day cousin comes over
>cousin is more attractive than me
>complete stud and fuckboy
>has a gf
>show my cousin pic of my gf
>he thinks she's hot
>she meets my cousin and gets his snapchat
>she slowly starts snapchatting him more often and texting me less
>one day my gf tells me that my cousin called her really pretty

Am I paranoid, or is my gf into my cousin? Plz help /b/, I really love her and I'm afraid that I'm gonna lose her to my stud of a cousin

>>729507084
she loves the attention, clearly
if she goes for him, she's bad news anyway and you've dodged a bullet early on

tell her it makes you uncomfortable, because this situation will set a precedent for similar situations in future

>>729455204
fuck you, anon...

>>729455368
a lot of shit comes into play there.for how long were you dating, was she aware that you were in a serious relationship, etc

>>729455368
>>She's dated a lot of shit before
>>Nobody ever treated her right

That should've been your warning anon, bitches with that kind of story are telling you their version and not reality

For all we know she is a cunt with BPD and she hops from one dick to another when she gets bored, not because "Nobody ever treated her right"

You might have dodged a bullet since BPDs are fucking dangerous

>She's afraid of the pain of losing me later

Yeah no man....

>>729472774
1 month in her hometown? you know she will probably have some nostalgia sex or something like that when she gets drunk, right? and she will never tell you because she knows you will never know

>>729508037
don't be a cunt, if he has no reason to worry then he shouldn't worry

>>729455592
Spot on anon

>>729506892
That distant stare, i know that feeling all to well

>>729455912
Every once in a while when I came back to visit my parents, I saw my cat doing worse and worse
One day I tried to be nice with it, because it looked so bad.
>Put some fresh water in a bowl
>Put some food next to it
>Take my cat, sit down with it for 10 mins to try and make it eat
>Doesn't even drink
>Come back the next day morning
>Cat is still in the exact same position, in front of water bowl, unable to even drink

I had to tell my family to take it to vet so it could die not suffering....
It wasn't my cat, but I mean, it's so painful to see a living creature like that...

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was a foreign student, 3 years in this land 2 in this bf guy house, i bought everything for us and learned the language. few months in no sex anymore, went on anyway, he shouts and never wanted to go out anymore, but i stayed.
Till i went to visit family back home, and he dumped me, several times. Apologize for everything ever, still dumping. Ask to get my stuff and he said hes thrown them.
Now stuck here hate every moment all my stuff are gone and im no longer a student nor can become one. I would have deleted my character if i could.

>>729491862
this is so fake

>>729469853
ty for showing me this great artist

>>729507605
What are bpd's?

>>729456234
My ex GF's dad wanted to commit suicide
He did not
But just knowing this made her really sad
Sometimes she would just cry thinking about her dad
Don't let your kids down anon....

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>>729457578

>>729508289
shhhh...I just planted the seeds...

>>729509433
Not him but I think it's Bipolar Disorder

>>729509773
Thanks bruh